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Review:draconigena says:
Ok Linz, you need desperate help, first off, there is this little button it looks like this " authors like to call them quotations, put them around words that are dialogue, like Katie said, "Hi everyone," for an example. Somewhat else that you need help with is the fact that you might need to space it out better, the quotations will help with this because as of right now it is extremely hard to read. Another bit would be isnt your dates a little bit off?Harry wouldn't know Lupin, especially if they were all first years. If however Katie was a year younger than Harry, he still wouldnt know Lupin but might be able to talk to Katie... Your chapter is really messed up, sorry to tell you this, but it truly is and you told me you wanted a real review. So I gave it too you, but I would probably give this to anyother author too. It will probably turn out to be a good story if you fix somethings up, you can always call me/e-mail me if you want help, I will truly be glad to assist you.

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