**yet again, forced to leave a two part review :)**
With that having been said, if you’re interested in adding another flashback scene, including a passage to deal with the way that Fred’s death has impacted Moth, a person who didn’t know him very well but had still had the opportunity to see the impact he had on others, might add a great depth to the story and give her an opportunity to observe a family – biological or otherwise – experience the grief that she deprived herself of – perhaps to drag up some of her own emotions. I noticed in a review response on your last chapter that you mentioned finding her to be a lot like Luna because you think Luna and Harry would do well to be paired together, so I’m wondering now if, perhaps, where some of Moth’s detachment from grief comes from the way that Luna spoke of her own mothers death. On the off chance that it is where you’re coming from, there are a few things I feel honor bound to bring up – Luna telling Harry about her mother’s death is unique and different from Moth’s experience of her parents death for two reasons. First, Luna’s mother passed on quite a while before she was discussing it with Harry, meaning she’d had a considerable amount of time to deal with the issue, as well as to develop a strong relationship with her father that could help to compensate some for the loss of a parent. Second, Luna, odd though she may be and willing to put herself on the table without worrying terribly about what other people think, likely does hold something back, because everyone does, and perhaps what she was holding back from Harry at the time – and throughout their entire relationship – was her real feelings about the issue. If the relationship between Moth and Harry is going to develop, with her displaying no feelings about her parent’s deaths other than to dispel herself of the bother of feeling about them, it might be a good idea to, now that she is witnessing the death of someone else, allow her to share with Harry some of her more true feelings in an emotive fashion.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that they sit down together and have a good shared cry, but there are other ways for her to express the grief – through anger or violent determination. As a gauge on how human’s deal with loss, take a look at Neville Longbottom, who has, effectively, lost his parents and we’ve really been given the opportunity to see how he deals with it, both as causal friends and on a more in depth level. We see him afraid to tell anyone, and then we see him squirming at St. Mungo’s, but still desperate to cling to anything about them that he can with the bubble gum wrapper and, later, ready to give everything he has to protect his friends from his parents torturer.
Author's Response: thank you SO much for your reviews, really, they were beyond helpful. i want to make pretty much every change you've mentioned, haha. please don't think that i'm not taking your advice to heart (because it was wonderful) if you don't see changes on this fic right off--i'm really trying to get The Wild written and done before i do much else. but really, i promise you that i will make these changes. they were so blunt and helpful, things i never would have noticed but things that would inevitably make the story better. thank you again for your lovely reviews!!