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Review:Talia Brazil says:
A good story continues to be great! I love your use of words. The second to last paragraph "The next thing Harry knew..." was very well written and the language was very well used! Spicy! ^_^

I feel the story's events are progressing very quickly though! They seem to be happening with too much abruptness, particularly Fred's death. Your chapters are fairly short and your paragraphs are generally short as well. Don't be afraid to put more substance and detail in your story. I think that will only enrich it and make it a bit more cohesive as a progression of events and time.

Harry and Moth's relationship is also progressing very fast. I would have liked to see a bit more interaction and dialogue between them before their lusty encounter.

I think the song from Midsummer Night's Dream did fit quite well! Such beautiful and sad lyrics!

Author's Response: hey! wow, you leave such great reviews. :) of course it's moving quickly--it's a short story!! :P i guess i should leave an author's note, though. i think i started writing this fic just after i had read something by francesca lia block. a lot of her stories are short stories, and i get so inspired by her that i start making things very fast-paced, etc. i guess i should make it clearer, too, that harry doesn't really love moth. in all honesty, he doesn't. :) thanks again for the lovely reviews!

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