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Review:TheOne says:
Very good! You definatly do have a strong talent for writing. This is the first Snape/Hermione story I've read and I'm greatly impressed.

One thing I'd just like to be picky about. When writing you want to say as much as you can in as little words as possible. For example Never before had the death curse been used so often in one place. I'd like to see this line changed up a little bit. My suggestion would be, "Never before had the death curse caused such a masacre." Less words often create more flow and deeper meaning. Even the strongest - and the strongest were the only ones left This line was confusing at first... perhaps could you make it into two sentances? I noticed it in a few other spots but mostly at the beginning. You might want to just re-read this one and make some sentances shorter.

That's it for the critisism. I truely did enjoy this story. The way you described the kiss just shook my knees and that was a great way to end such a great fic. Fantastic Job. I'll be reading more of your stories soon! :)

BTW: Who did your banner? It's brilliant!

Author's Response: Thanks very much for the helpful review. The second suggestion I'll follow - looks like one of my half-finished sentences that go nowhere because I forgot about it. The first, on the other hand, is just the way I say things, and I like it that way. I tend to be wordy in speech, so it's just part of my writing too. =)

I'm so glad you enjoyed the kiss scene. It was so hard to write, like pulling teeth at times. And the banner is one I made, I'm glad you like it too. =D


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