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Review:Lyn Midnight says:
A great choice, yet again! I totally agree that you had to write about him and Lily, because it seems that this is the thing that mattered to him the most and really changed his world… This is one of the best chapters about them getting together I have read so far! What I would give to hear those words from a guy my age. Heck, from a man at any age. Well written, well thought of. This is by far my favourite chapter from your story! Some parts made me laugh hard. And as usual, I really enjoyed the ending paragraph. I can just picture the way they looked. Lily blushing and James shocked, lol.

However, there was a mistake I spotted: Potter?,” You cannot type two marks at once. Lose the comma! And just a suggestion:

Moony was about to ask her, but he would look up at the sky and turn away. I knew what he was thinking about: the moon, his greatest enemy, and his lie to Dumbledore. That didn’t really fit in the flow.

All is said… written. You write well about those four. And I love reading about them. We make a great match :P

Author's Response: It's impossible for me to write James and not make it humourous. At least with Sirius I can find some angst, but in James, I can't figure out anything he'd be angsty about excepting Lily's continued rejections of him. It's great that you liked this chapter - I think it's about my favourite of the set, though the one about Peter is a close runner-up. =)

That first mistake is a total mistake. Even though I've reread this thing a million times, I still can't catch them all. *headdesk* I do know my grammar rules ... really... =S With the second though, I've sort of given reason why Moony didn't go out with Lily. It's as though he's giving James the go ahead because he believes he can't make her as happy as James would. I guess it does rather weigh down on the humour, but it does have it's place in the story, although it may not seem to belong. Thanks again for the review. I appreciate it. =)


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