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A Rollercoaster Ride by potterfan310
Chapter 1: Prologue
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Stunning CI by Elenia @ TDA!
A/N This was originally 'Lily Luna Potter and My Teenage Confessions' but I was at a loose end with what I had so far and I kept hitting dead ends for it. I decided to re-write it as a whole new story with the same sort of plot but there are a few surprises. This is still going to be Lily II/OC.
Disclaimer: Nothing but the plot and OC's are mine. The wonderful wizarding world is all thanks to JK Rowling.
I could feel him tickling my feet as I led there in the field on a red picnic blanket with my eyes closed, as the warm summer sun shone down on us. I tried my very best not to give in and laugh but I couldn't help it as it escaped from my lips.
"S-stop," I giggled as I kicked my feet in protest.
He only laughed more as he came and straddled me, starting to tickle my weak spot behind my knees, making me laugh even harder.
By far this summer has been one of the very best in all of my sixteen years on this planet. After all that stress of revising and taking my OWL's, relaxing and not having a care in the world was all part of our plan to have an epic summer. The we being myself; Lily Potter and Aidan Flynn: who just so happens to take the position of annoying best friend. And of course how could I forget the six crazy weirdo's we call our friends.
So far this epic summer has been as epic as it could be. There's been water fights, trips to the beach and acting like kids again when the local fair came to town. Not only that I've gotten much closer with Aidan if you catch my drift. Friends with benefits if that's what you want to call it. It started back in February, when we were both alone and miserable on valentines day and so far I have no regrets.
Aidan is literally my best friend. He's not just the boy next door, he's the boy who knows me ever better than my own family. He's been there for it all, the tears and heartbreak of my last boyfriend to when I feel like utter crap thanks to having to deal with period pains. Say what you like but despite the sex we're still best buddies, I guess you could say it makes us closer.
"A-Aidan," I breathed. "S-stop it."
Laughing with a glint in his eye, his hands stopped tickling my stomach, sliding up underneath the hem of my boob tube top. His face became inches from mine so that I could feel his breath, tickling my nose.
"You sure you want me to stop now, Lil?" he asked before pressing his lips to my own.
I felt like my body was on fire thanks to Aidan's touch. I didn't object of course, this was a regular occurrence between us when we were alone. His one arm was wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him whilst the other was making it's way up my back, lingering on my neck for a moment making me shiver.
I let out a gasp as Aidan ran his finger across the back of my neck once again, my eyes flickering open to look into his big blue ones. Aidan eventually pulled my hair out of the messy bun it had been it, my red hair trailing down my back like a curtain.
"I love your hair," Aidan whispered in my ear as I finally managed to win and flipped him over, so he was on his back. "It's like a fiery mane."
I smirked. "I mean have you seen me playing Quidditch? I'm always on fire."
"Little Lion," Aidan murmured as I rolled off and snuggled next to him, placing my head on his chest just over his heart.
"What happens when the summer's over?"
Aidan frowned at me. "Huh?"
I rolled my eyes. "Back to school, no more this?"
He rolled away from me before managing to pin me down, his face so close to my own his breath was tickling my nose. "Do you want to stop this?" he questioned as he placed a kiss on my jawbone, trailing them down my neck and then collar bone.
"No," I whispered.
"Then we won't have to," he replied. "Now hold on tight."
I frowned as I wrapped my arms around his solid body, holding him as if the world depended on it.
Next thing I knew I was lying on the softness of a bed, with Aidan still on top of me. I looked up at him wondered what on earth had just happened but her simply smiled.
"Portkey," he explained.
I let go of him quickly as I recognised his bedroom. I pulled back because I knew his parents had no idea how close we had really gotten this year, neither did mine for that matter. No one knew, it was just out secret.
As if sensing my hesitation and worry about getting caught by his parents Aidan smiled as he got up off his bed and stood in his doorway. "No one's here but us, Lil. Mum and dad have took the little monsters to see auntie Alicia and as for Izzy and Alex they're both out," Aidan explained speaking about his siblings. "Drink?"
Aidan left and I let out my sigh as I stretched out on his bed, looking up at his ceiling which was painted black, complete with the stars and the solar system. My eyes wandered around his room, to the wall that's covered in photo's of his family, me as well as our friends to the his messy desk covered in not just parchment but clothes too.
I looked back at his wall of photos and instantly I found the one I was looking for; the one of us on Valentines day when this all started. Both of us smiling as one of my best friends Olivia took it, just before we headed to the party in the Ravenclaw common room. It was crazy how we had never thought about it before, getting together in the physical sense that is, no one knows us better than each other.
Smiling I shut my eyes as I reminisced about that night, even when I heard the bedroom door close I kept them shut. I gasped as I felt a hand running up arm, opening my eyes I found myself looking into Aidan's blue ones.
"What are you thinking about?" he questioned. "Me, perhaps?"
I laughed as I looked up at him, taking in his soft brown hair and those big blue eyes which were looking at me with a hunger in them. Leaning forward I kissed him, letting my one hands roam under the hem of his t-shirt, feeling his stomach muscles tense as I washed over them. With the other, I moved it up around his neck, clutching him close to me, brushing the edges of his hair.
"Off," I instructed as he kissed me back in a frenzy.
We broke apart for less than five seconds as he frantically pulled his top over his head, but it was five seconds too long for my liking. I pushed him backwards against the pillows and straddled him. As I did so, his hands played with the hem of my top and within seconds I was pulling it over the top of my head, my hair cascading down my back like a waterfall.
His touch was like fire against my skin, driving me wild. It didn't take long for both our shorts to be gone, along with our underwear.
Nothing else mattered. It was just me and Aidan in the moment, an empty house and no one to disturb us.
Little did we know, that from that moment, the next nine months were going to be a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
A/N Short and sweet! It's different from before I know, they're just two teeangers having fun and accidents do happen. The next chapter jumps a bit and is set two months after this one.
I hope you all enjoyed it and that you might take the time to review as they always make my day.
Chapter 2: Of Illness, Assumptions and Doubt
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Stunning CI by playcrackthesky @ TDA!
A/N Thank you to Jess (jessicaloreswrites), Alice (dracoismyboyfriendguys) and HermionesSecretClone for reading and reviewing the prologue!! And to those who favourited.
The rain was lashing down outside and with every drip drop against the window I wanted nothing more than to be down on the Quidditch pitch. It's weird saying that instead of being in my nice warm dorm room, I would rather been out in this awful weather. I love Quidditch more than anything and I couldn't afford to miss tonight's practice, I didn't want to miss tonight's practice. We've been back at Hogwarts nearly two months and it's been crazy already even though we don't have exams this year, the teachers still feel the need to give out homework like there's no tomorrow.
Thanks to Molly who is my cousin, friend and dorm mate she managed to persuade me to stay indoors. Is it so bad that I want to be outside in the fresh air? I've been cooped up here for a whole week and it's far from fun. I hate being ill, this stupid sickness bug is a complete pain.
It started the other week, me being sick in the morning but I thought nothing of it. Then after last Friday night when I had chicken casserole it really tipped me over the edge. Ever since I haven't been able to keep food down and I've been throwing up at random times of the day. Life's no picnic I'm telling you.
Rolling onto my side I looked at my clock; twenty past four. I sighed, well at least the everyone would be coming of classes now. Maybe I could actually go down with them to dinner and eat something for a change.
Looking up at the canopy of my bed I sighed just as the door creaked open and I heard a low voice say, "Lil, are you awake?"
"Yeah, I'm awake," I replied as I sat up carefully so my head wouldn't spin. I blinked a few times adjusting my vision so that I was able to see who stood before me. The red hair was a give away as apart from me, Rose is the only other cousin in our family with red hair. "Hey, Rosie," I greeted as she sat down on Kallie's neatly made bed which is next to mine.
Opening her school bag she pulled out a book along with two bits of parchment, handing it all to me. "Today's homework," Rose told me. "Defence which you should already know, Potions is an essay and you need the book to help."
I rolled my eyes, great another lot of work for me to do. "What about Divination?"
"Trelawney said to carry on with your dream diary as next week you'll be finding out what they mean."
I groaned. "Fab now I get to find out what me being chased by a giant marshmallow means," I muttered making Rose laugh.
She looked at me with her 'I told you so' smile. I knew I shouldn't have taken the stupid subject in the first place, I'm definitely dropping it next year. I was hoping to have Firenze as a teacher but luck was not on my side when we were told that sixth years were having Trelawney.
Pulling at her Gryffindor tie which loosened, Rose was watching me with caution. "How you feeling?"
"Urgh," I moaned as I raked a hand through my hair, which felt greasy. "I feel so gross it's unreal."
Rose pointed to the bathroom. "Go shower then," she suggested.
I stuck my tongue out at her. "I know where it is thanks, but I keep feeling light headed so I don't trust myself to shower."
Rose pointed again. "Have a bath then, go on. It'll be good to get out of bed."
I nodded since she did have a point. I made my way out of bed slowly, steadied myself as I stood up. The room span a little but not much so I headed to my trunk. Searching through it I found clean underwear as well as a pair of leggings and a top.
Rose tutted at me as I walked slowly to the bathroom, as I closed the door I saw that she was making my bed tidy. Turning the taps on, I allowed the bath to be filled with steaming hot water, topping it up with one of the girls pinks bubbles which smelt like strawberries.
As I waited I brushed my hair, looking in the mirror I didn't see myself looking back at me. I saw a younger, tired version with dark shadows under my eyes. Crap I really didn't look well. I shook my head at the thought and proceeded to peel off my spotty pyjama bottoms and purple top that I had been wearing.
The warm water washed over me as I got in the bath and I felt like a flower which had been revitalised. It was so nice to feel the warmth on my skin, the bubbles around me smelt divine and I suddenly really wanted strawberries. Frowning at my weird thoughts, I submerged myself in the water
"Lil?" Rose called from the dorm.
I sat back up, sloshing water over the place as I grabbed my shampoo. "Yeah?" I replied wondering what she wanted.
"What did you say your symptoms were?"
"I didn't?" I shot back as my stomach rumbled as I lathered my hair with the coconut shampoo.
"What were they?" she questioned.
I ignored her for a minute as I sorted myself out. "Sickness, feeling tired, a yucky taste in my mouth. I told you it's just some bug." I had no idea why she was asking me this, so I promptly ignored her as I wallowed in the warm water.
Coming out out of the bathroom feeling refreshed I saw Rose sprawled out on Kallie's bed, reading none other than Hogwarts A History. I don't see why she reads it, I'm sure she knows it off by heart, she recites it to us lot often enough.
"Lily?" Rose asked tentatively as she looked up. "Are you pregnant?"
I looked at her gob smacked, how could she even suggest a thing!
"I'm not stupid you know!" I exclaimed as I grabbed a grey hoodie from within my trunk. "I'm single, Rose, therefore I'm not getting any. Anyway I think I'd know if I was pregnant, Ro."
Under her breath Rose muttered, "Well maybe if you were, you'd be less cranky."
"I heard that," I yelled at her as I threw a pillow at her, which she dodged easily. Pulling on the hoodie which technically belonged to Aidan, I sat on my neatly made bed.
"Are you sure though?" Rose questioned me as I pulled on socks. I nodded at her as I pulled a face. "It's just that you've got the same sort of things I had last year and I skipped a period. And well uh I thought I was pregnant."
I just looked at her as she presented me with this information. Since when had my perfect cousin got knocked up?
"And?" I pressed her.
She sighed, closing the book with a 'snap'. "There was no way I could go and see Madame Malfoy." I snorted, she got that right. I bet she'd have loved to treat her son's girlfriend for pregnancy symptoms. Talk about awkward. Rose raised an eyebrow at me and I nodded allowing her to continue. "So I went to the apothecary in Hogsmeade. The girl in there; Beatrice, helped me out. Long story short, Lil. I was just way too stressed, I wasn't pregnant."
"Rose, I'm not pregnant," I reassured her.
She huffed. "Fine. And FYI, Lil, just because you're single doesn't mean you might not be sleeping with someone." With that she picked up her bag, stuffing her book inside. "Feel better soon."
It wasn't until she had gone that I realised I was alone with my thoughts. It's just a bug, I told myself, some sickness bug. I bet one of the other girls will get it next week.
I was interrupted as I sat on my bet dazed, by someone calling my name. "Lily?"
I looked around and found one of my best friends looking at me, her red ponytail swinging wildly as she waved a hand in front of my face. "Earth to Lily."
I blinked a few times. "Sorry, I was lost in thought."
Kallie laughed. "I can see that, Lil. Are you feeling better then?"
Shrugging I made a noise. "I might come to dinner later but I should really do homework."
"Let's get to it then," Kallie suggested as she grabbed her own bag and sat on my bed with me.
I sighed as I pulled the homework Rose had given me closer. I was in for a long hour or two.
After much debate and protests off Aidan and Molly, I found myself making my way through the castle.
"I'll meet you down there," Molly informed us as she stopped suddenly. "I need to see Chang about our Charms homework."
I sighed. "Aww crap, we have Charms homework as well?"
Aidan laughed at me. "I'll tell you on the way down."
Molly waved us goodbye as she doubled back on herself, her glossy brown hair shining in the light given off by the torches. The second we got around the corner, Aidan pulled me behind a suit of armour, wrapping his arms around my waist.
I spluttered because we were in the middle school. "A-Aidan! What are you doing, someone might see us."
He gave a low throaty laugh. "Everyone's at dinner, Lil. I've missed you," he admitted as he lent forward and kissed me. I couldn't help but kiss him back, it was like my whole body melted under his touch.
I put my hand in his chest. "Aidan, stop." I muttered. "Not here. I can't do this right now." He looked down at me with a frown on his face and I sighed. "I still feel ill and gross and anyway could walk by," I pointed out.
Aidan shrugged at me but after seeing my face he sighed as well. "Come on then, lets go to dinner."
As we walked the rest of the way down there was silence between us. I could feel the awkward tension practically radiating between us. "I'm sorry," I mumbled. "I'm just not myself right now, I still need my best friend though, Aid."
He smiled, the one that gave me butterflies in my stomach as the one side crinkled at the edges. He offered out his arms and I hugged him, feeling warm and safe in his embrace. After breaking apart we carried on down to the great hall.
I spotted Kallie's red hair easily from where she was sat at the Slytherin table the second we entered. She was sat next to my older brother; Albus who had an arm draped around her shoulders as they laughed at something Alex (Aidan's older brother) said.
Rose was sat over there as well, mainly due to her dating Scorpius. She looked at me as myself and Aidan crossed the hall to where our group of friends were sat. I ignored her as I sat down, forcing a smile on my face even though I was still feeling light headed.
"Feeling better?" One of the girls from my dorm, Cerys asked from where she sat down the table.
I smiled. "Yes thanks."
I piled my plate sky high with chips, salad and lasagne. As I did so I could feel my friends eyes on me. "What?" I protested, looking up to see not only Aidan and Molly's faces but my cousin; Hugo's, my other friend and dorm mate; Olivia and Aidan and Hugo's friends; Matt and Liam all looking at me as if I was crazy.
"Lil, you've been ill for a week and now you're eating as if you could rival dad," Hugo pointed out.
I shrugged as I took a forkful of lasagne and ate it. "You're point? Anyway I've been ill therefore I am starving right now."
Somehow Liam managed to steer the conversation away from me to the Quidditch season which would soon be upcoming, we had trials the other week and I had made it back on the team as Chaser. Liam and Aidan are our beaters, whilst Aidan's cousin; Callum is seeker and captain. Along with myself, a fourth year named Jessica and one of Rose's dorm mates; Zara make up the other chasers. Our new members this year are the two chasers, as our previous ones left in the summer due to being seventh years.
After not eating anything except a few nibbles of toast, I had two helpings of lasagne and by the time the puddings came out I was stuffed. I was feeling fine until I smelt it, the sickly sweet toffee pudding and the thick yellow custard. Next to me Aidan was wolfing down a gooey chocolate pudding. I couldn't stand it and pushed away the bowl of apple crumble that had been sat in front of me. Suddenly I no longer fancied it.
Opposite Liam wafted pumpkin pie in Olivia's face. She gave a disgusted look due to her hatred for the stuff. I could feel the bile creeping up at the back of my throat, I threw my hand across my mouth and nose as I stood up. I ran from the hall as I felt my stomach gurgle.
Running across the entrance hall like a crazy person, I felt like I wasn't going to make it. Thankfully some little titch (aka a first year) was just leaving the girls toilets and held the door open for me. I barged past them and made a bee line for the nearest cubical where I proceeded to bring up my dinner.
I had no idea how long I was knelt on the cold stone floor, but afterwards all I could think was that I needed water. There was a rotten taste in my mouth and despite feeling better earlier, I now felt worse.
Feeling that I was okay, I flushed the toilet and left the cubicle heading fro the sinks. Staring at myself in the mirror I could see the room was starting to spin. I gripped the sides of the sink, my knuckles turning white as I struggled to hold myself up.
"Lily!" Molly's voice came from somewhere behind me.
I felt woozy as my grip slipped and I felt myself falling backwards, the cubicles suddenly turning sideways. I just about heard Molly cry out before the room went black.
The desperate plea's of my cousin brought me back to reality, I flickered my eyes open and found myself staring up at the ceiling. "W-what?" I frowned.
Molly cried out, "Oh thank Merlin!" before hugging me tight. "You're alive!"
Sitting up I looked at her as she let me go. "What?"
Her big brown eyes were wide and glistened with tears. "You just fainted, Lily. No explanation or nothing. I thought you were dead. You've been out at least five minutes, maybe more."
Groaning I motioned for her to help me up, which she promptly did. "I'm okay, Mol. Just help me back to the tower please."
Shaking her head Molly put her hands on her hips. For someone who was lucky enough to inherit next to none of our Weasley traits, she sure looked liked Nana Molly. "No! I'm taking you to the hospital wing."
Wrapping an one arm around my waist we left the toilets and Molly guided me to the grand staircase. As we walked up she lectured me, going on that I could have concussion or maybe even have broken a rib. Which I highly doubted.
I laughed at that, for one I hadn't even fallen that hard and two and I was sure it was due to this sickness bug. Molly hovered on the first floor as she debated taking me down the corridor that leads to the hospital wing or up the next flight of stairs.
"No, please, Mol. I'm fine now honestly," I lied.
She changed her mind and we went upwards.
The rest of the way she was quiet, but from the way she was biting her lip I could tell she was worried about me. In the dorm she stared at my bed and then me.
"You're not sleeping, I don't care if you're tired, you still might be concussed." Molly advised. "If you're asleep when I come back up I don't care what you say, I'm taking you to see Astoria." With that she pulled magazines out of her trunk throwing them to me. "Read those, that'll keep you busy."
"Just please don't tell the others," I called just as the door shut behind her.
Once Molly and the others had come back from dinner she had lectured me to no end about me refusing to see the Matron and told me off. I was in no mood to argue so it was going to bed early for me since Molly seemed happy that I was concussed. Thankfully she had kept quiet about my little incident, the others believed I wasn't as well as I thought I was. I felt guilty that I wasn't going down with the boys and girls to the Quidditch pitch for our practice.
Having spent a bit of time sleeping, I did some more homework and by the time my other two dorm mates; Cerys and Laura had come up it was nearly ten pm. I hadn't even realised it as time seem to fly by even though I wasn't doing a lot. When she came in, Molly raised her eyebrows at me but said nothing as she gathered her night things and went into the bathroom.
I could hear the shower running, which was quite soothing. The others were both sound asleep now, I only knew that because their talking had eventually died down and Laura was now snoring. Kallie and Olivia were both still out, in the common room most likely either that or Kallie was with my brother. Something I really don't want to think about.
Despite keeping their relationship a secret from October (they got together at my sixteenth birthday party), it came out in February when they got caught in here in our dorm kissing. Molly wasn't pleased and neither was I as we were the one who caught them.
"Lil, have you a got a pad or anything?" Molly called from within the bathroom, making me lose my train of thought.
I froze in place, my eyes going wide.
I heard her call back sounding disgruntled, "Never mind."
No, just no. Not possible. What had Rose said earlier? She skipped a period, I answered myself.
"Why do you look so startled?" Molly questioned as she came over folding her uniform before getting into her bed, which happens to be on the right of mine and closest to the window.
I shook my head. "No reason."
"You sure?" I nodded my head in response as I started counting back the days. "You really should sleep, Lil. Promise me you'll go see the Matron in the morning. You didn't faint for no reason."
I waved my hand lazily as she settled down for the night. "If I'm not better by Saturday then I'll go, okay."
"Night," I whispered back. Grabbing the spare parchment that I had left out from earlier I grabbed a pencil and started scribbling down dates. No! I thought as I looked down at what I had wrote.
It couldn't be possible. No way.
Two months is a long time, I told myself as I led down. I found myself staring up at my canopy that was covered with silver lines and stars thanks to Aidan who had painted it for me back in April.
I sighed at his name.
This had to be a sickness bug. It had to be.
A/N Tah-dah and we have a second chapter, although it's technically the first, but shh! Poor Lily, she's really had a rough time, first sickness then fainting. Don't worry all will be revealed soon. Lily has the doubt in her mind but will she find out the truth??
FYI - For your information
Chapter 3: Of Birthday Celebrations, Friendly Faces and Tests
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Stunning CI by Holly_Mist @ TDA!
My clock had told me it was five am. I sighed as I hugged the cold toilet bowl in the sixth year Gryffindor girls bathroom. What a way to spend the start of your seventeenth birthday, I thought.
I felt horrible, I've never felt so weak in my life. I thought I was better, that this would eventually go away. But maybe Molly was right, hell maybe even Rose was right!
Thursday night seemed so long ago, when in fact it had nearly been two days as today happens to be Saturday and my birthday. Despite the door being shut I heard footsteps outside, I didn't have the energy to tell them I was in here, but lately the others were used to me being in here at stupid o'clock.
"Lil?" Molly grumbled as she rubbed her eyes. "Were you sick again?" I groaned in response as I lifted my head up. Closing the door tight behind her Molly came over, sitting down next to me and rubbed my back soothingly. "You need to see Astoria, no buts about it. Time to face that your illness just isn't going away."
I bit my own lip, the doubt in my mind was driving me insane. I drained the glass of water that she handed me and wiped my mouth on my pyjama sleeve.
"Can you keep a secret?" I whispered knowing that she probably would.
In the dim moon light that was shining in through the window I saw her smile. "Course I can."
I screwed my eyes up tight as in a low voice I said what had been troubling me for the past two days. "I'm late. Two months in fact. It was Rose who got me thinking. Then you made me doubt everything when you asked me last night for a pad."
From where she sat on the floor next to me, Molly pulled me onto her lap as she understood what I was getting at and held me in her arms as I could feel tears trickling down my face. She said nothing as she stroked my hair, somewhere outside an owl hooted in the early morning.
After what felt like an eternity, Molly spoke, "Are you sure Lil? I mean is that why you've been ill and fainted? Is that why you refused to to see Astoria?"
I shook my head as I hiccuped. "I'm not sure but I think it's why. It can't be true, Mol, I'm only sixteen!" I exclaimed forgetting the fact the fact that today was my seventeenth birthday. "Would you come to Hogsmeade with me to the Apothecary? Rose said they sell muggle things as well including tests," I asked, not bringing myself to say the word that I was dreading.
"Sure. Lets get you back to bed though, Lil. You really need sleep," she suggested.
I smiled weakly as she helped me up and out of the bathroom. "Thank you, Mol." Climbing back into bed, I pulled my fluffy Gryffindor blanket over me, yawning as I did so.
"Sleep, Lil," Molly murmured as she pulled my quilt up over me, before getting into her own bed.
I was glad that Molly had let me sleep in, she brought me some toast which I nibbled on around ten. I was too nervous to eat properly, that and the thought of being sick again put me right off. We went down to the common room as normal and I nearly jumped out of my skin as there was a big chorus of, "Happy Birthday Lily!" coming from all of my cousins who are still here, including those from the other houses, as well as my friends.
I forced a smile on my face as Molly steered me to one of the squishy red chairs by the fire. I sat down, feeling myself sink as I looked at the small pile on the table in front of me. Albus looked thrilled as he was the first one to hand me a package.
"It's off mum and dad," he informed me.
Unwrapping the package I found two small boxes nestled inside along with some of Honeydukes finest sweets and of course three pairs of brightly coloured socks. For whatever reason, every year dad insists on us having socks as a present. I opened the first box and gasped, inside I found a silver charm bracelet complete with three charms hanging from it. One was a silver 'L' inset with diamond's, the second was a Lily flower and the third was a silver four leaf clover.
In the second small box there was a navy blue pouch made of silky material, inside was a mixture of both wizarding and muggle money. The note inside read; For a Birthday treat or to save up for something special. Love, Mum and Dad xxxx
Before Al could say anything or pass me his present Aidan butted in with a neatly wrapped present in purple paper. Smiling I took it from him.
"Happy seventeenth, Lil," Aidan smiled as he bent down and gave me a hug. I swear he made it last longer than it felt, maybe I was imagining things, maybe he had done it on purpose. I just couldn't work it out. I had more pressing matters on my mind, like that of a possible baby in my womb, one that was Aiden's.
Ripping the paper off I found two black boxes, similar to those off mum and dad. I frowned slightly as I opened the first, nestled in the tissue paper was a little lion charm. The smile on my face grew larger as he attached it to my bracelet. I knew why it was a lion, there were three reasons behind it; one I'm in Gryffindor, two I'm fierce as hell on the Quidditch pitch and three when we're alone together, that's what he calls me.
I could feel myself welling up by the time it came to his second present, damn these stupid hormones. Inside was one of the most beautiful necklace's I had ever seen. It was on a silver chain and sat in middle was a butterfly, it's wings were covered with pink and purple stones.
"It's gorgeous," I whispered as I carefully took it out of its box, handing it to Aidan. I pulled my hair together so he could fasten it around my neck, smiling as he did.
"You're one spoilt girl," Molly laughed indicating to my other presents. "Come on otherwise we'll be here all day."
Off uncle Ron and Auntie Hermione, I had a wooden jewellery box which played a song that I recognised easily; 'Hedwig's Theme'. I could never sleep without listening to it when I was little, dad used to hum it to me every night without fail. On top of the lid was my name and date of birth carved in fancy lettering and surrounded by swirls. From Rose and Hugo I had a hoard of sweets as well as one of the books I had wanted for ages.
One by one I got through presents before opening the cards, Albus' had been enchanted to sing 'Happy Birthday Lily Luna' on an endless loop.
"Thanks guys!" I exclaimed, looking up at them.
With that they started to make plans for Hogsmeade, whether it be with each other or friends.
My elder cousin Dominique called, "Birthday drinks, Lil. Don't forget, The Three Broomsticks at one."
With the help of Kallie, we carried my presents upstairs. I put my cards up on my beside table, locking away my presents in my trunk, all except my bracelet and necklace.
I gathered my purse and wand, putting them in my bag ready to go down to Hogsmeade. So far today was looking up birthday wise, I just hoped things weren't about to go down hill. No amount of presents would change that. Especially when the ever growing voice in my head would keep reminding me of the fact I could be pregnant.
"Are you sure your okay?" Olivia asked me from opposite me as we rode down to Hogsmeade in one of the carriages.
It was still lashing down with rain outside and I was leaning against Molly's shoulder as I sat between her and Aidan, with Hugo on Aidan's other side. Next to her were Matt, Liam and Kallie.
"I'm fine," I mumbled before zoning out what they were all talking about.
I could feel Aidan's hand near my knee which then moved, gently brushing my thigh as he got something from the pocket of his jeans. My heart sped up a little at his touch, I couldn't react or tell him off since no one had noticed. And if they did, then there would be questions.
Questions I didn't want to answer or even face just yet. After today there'll probably be more questions, especially if today it turns out my sickness bug was more than that. I'll probably never think of my seventeenth birthday the same way again.
I hadn't realise that Aidan was tapping me until I opened my eyes. "Huh?"
Aidan chuckled. "We're in Hogsmeade, you drifted off. The others have gone on. How about we sneak off too, find somewhere for just us," he murmured as he brushed a stray bit of hair away from my face. "So I can give you a proper birthday treat."
I smiled before saying, "Maybe later, I need to find Molly. She wanted me to help with something."
Shrugging, he jumped down out the carriage. Turning around to me he offered me his hand which I accepted as I got out, pulling my hood up as I felt droplets of rain. Dodging the puddles Aidan took my hand as we wandered towards the shops, there were students everywhere and whilst I was going to protest about holding hands I didn't mind.
Whilst his touch was speeding my heart rate up, it was soothing my frazzled nerves. I hadn't realised how much I had missed Aidan since coming back to school. Sure we're mostly together when we're around the others but we haven't had much alone time lately. Just time as best friends, or even more.
Uncle's George's joke shop was the most popular from the looks of the crows gathered outside the window which had a sign that read; 'New stock; Pygmy puffs, now in a range of colours. Why have one when you can now own the whole rainbow?'
Aidan was far too interested in the new sign in Honeydukes window stating they had new flavours of fudge in. Pulling me towards the shop I had no option but to go with it. Inside was packed, not just with those sheltering from the rain which had slowly turned from little drops to big fat ones.
There were teenagers looking at the array of sweets in jars and on stands; Fizzing whizzbee's, Liquorice wands, Sugar mice, the endless flavour options for Bertie Botts beans.
Honeydukes had it all.
"Oh wicked, Lil!" Aidan exclaimed as he let go of my hand to pick up a bag of the new fudge; chocolate and orange. "Want any sugar mice? I know how much you love them?"
I smiled as I shook my head. "No thanks."
The sugary smell was getting under my nose, it was sweet mixed with different armours as well as the smell of liquorice. I couldn't take it any more, I turned around and left Aidan heading for the door. Outside the rain was coming down heavier now and I ran down the alley way between the sweet shop and the boarded up shop next door.
Retching, I felt like the toast I had eaten would come up but to my surprise it stayed down. Leaning against the wall for a minute I got a hold of myself. I have to find Molly, I thought. After a few deep breaths I put my hood up and walked out acting as if nothing happened. Aidan was stood in front of the shop with a bulging bag of sweets in his hand and a worried expression on his face.
Walking over I tapped him on the shoulder, his face lit up at seeing me. "Where did you go?" he questioned.
"It was too crowded in there. Can we find the others please?"
"Sure, lets check the pub."
Sure enough we spotted the six of them easily, sitting in one of the booths near the bar. Molly looked up as we got closer.
"There you are!" she exclaimed as she nodded her head towards the door. "Ready, Lil?"
I nodded as Kallie finished her Butterbeer, asking, "Where you two off?"
"The apothecary," I replied.
"Oooh, I need to go there. I need some more shampoo," Olivia spoke.
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, she couldn't come, let along Kallie. If she found out she might tell Al and then I'd be in trouble because he would tell mum and dad.
"I'll come as well," Kallie piped up as she pulled on her coat. "We'll be back now, boys. You can get the next round of drinks in."
"Be back for one," Hugo called.
Once Molly and Olivia were ready we went out to brave the weather again. There was no way I could buy what I needed now, not with them. Maybe I could sneak back in when we head up to the school. The sign for Aline's Apothecary blew in the wind, making this seem a whole lot more daunting.
When we entered the brown haired girl behind the counter, who looked no older than us smiled as the bell above the door rung. "Morning," she greeted.
I smiled back because I had a gut feeling that I knew her from somewhere. But I couldn't put my finger on. I could hear Olivia on about whether she should change her shampoo for a new one or not so I grabbed Molly, guiding her to the back wall.
Next to the section of things that I'd normally need at this time of the month was exactly what I currently needed. I couldn't pick one up myself, not with Kallie and Olivia here.
I glanced over at Molly who sighed, she reached out confidently as she picked up a box containing the test. I turned around and from the shelf behind me I randomly grabbed a shade of blue nail varnish and then a face mask.
Olivia appeared, with Kallie by her side. Olivia eyed the test in Molly's hand but neither of them commented about it as we headed to the till to pay.
"That'll be two galleons please," The girl said as Molly handed her the money as she quickly shoved the box into her bag.
I paid for my things even though I didn't really need them. Whilst waiting for Olivia to pay, Molly nudged me in the side. Out of my pocket I handed her two galleons which she took.
Kallie sighed as she looked out at the rain. "Horrid weather for your birthday," she stated. "We best be getting back, it's nearly one."
In agreement we left the shop, I was last to leave and just as I put my hood up, the girl behind the counter smiled again. "Happy Birthday," she said to me.
I thanked her before braving the rain once again. The Three Broomsticks was packed with students and teachers thanks to the weather and where the boys were sat there were now banner above with flashing with the words; 'Happy 17th Birthday'.
There were menu's set up on the table as if shielding something and once my coat was off, Hugo moved them. I was right, there was a chocolate covered cake with seventeen candles on top; all burning brightly.
Liam looked over as I sat down, calling, "Make a wish!"
I shut my eyes as I pictured the test from the front of the box, I wish that it comes out negative, I thought. Opening my eyes I blew out the candles and my friends cheered.
Matt cut us all slices of cakes but all I ate from my slice was just the frosting. Everyone but me was in a party mood and I felt bad. They had gone to all this trouble and I was moping about someone that might not be true.
Plastering a smile on my face I made a promise to put the test to the back of my mind and to enjoy this. From where he sat next to me, Aidan's hand was running slowly up my leg and I had to bite my lip as I caught my breath.
"Stop that," I hissed.
Aidan smirked. "Stop what?" he asked ever so innocently.
I shook my head as I discretely smacked his hand. Instead of giving up he threaded his fingers through mine, making little circles on the back of my hand with his finger tips.
Why did Aidan have to do that around my cousins and even our friends. It's like he wants to get caught. I was pretty sure male cousins and brothers would lynch him if they found out what we had been up to. Especially if there would be proof at the end of nine freakin' month.
Why did I have to realise this on my birthday, why couldn't the stupid idea of being pregnant held off for a day or two so I could be happy and celebrate. I'm seventeen, I shouldn't have to worry about this. I should be debating whether or not to order some form of alcohol just because I could.
I hated the speculation, I needed to know whether my life would be messed up or if I could continue being a teenger.
I hate my life sometimes.
Even with my birthday celebration I wasn't in the mood to celebrate. The only thing that had cheered me up was Aidan and his little movements and flirting when no one was looking.
After it was decided we would go back to the castle, to the warmth of our common room. I pretended to leave something in the pub so I could go back, making Molly come with me. Telling the others we'd be right on up I practically dragged her into the pub and then the toilets.
I checked every cubicle and then held my hand out to my cousin. Pulling it out she put the box on my palm and whilst it was pretty light, it felt like I had the weight of the world in my hands. This was my fate; a plastic stick would determine my future.
Behind me Molly muttered, "Good luck," as I went into the cubicle.
Opening the box I pulled the white stick. Flipping the packaging over I read the instructions; Urinate onto the stick, wait sixty seconds. Negative means you're not pregnant, Positive means you're pregnant.
I did exactly as it said. As I waited I closed the lid of the toilet and sat on it, counting down the seconds in my head. I kept flipping the stick in my hand out of nervous, as a million thoughts passed through my head.
There was a knock on the door and a voice asked, "Are you okay, Lil?"
I unlocked the door, test still in hand and came out. I placed the test on the side so I could wash my hands. Molly handed me tissue to dry them before I hopped up on the counter, by the sinks.
"Is it time?" I dared to ask.
Shrugging Molly picked it up, her face was blank as she handed it to me and I shut my eyes. It's negative, I told myself, negative.
Opening my eyes I looked down, there in the little box was the word that would haunt me forever.
I stared at the word, wishing it would change. My eyes going blurry from the tears which were forming. I was only aware that Molly was still here when she put a hand on mine.
"Lily, what is it?" she murmured.
"P-positive," I uttered in barely a whisper. "Positive," I repeated.
Pulling me into a hug, Molly rubbed my back soothingly just as she had done this morning. "I'm sorry, Lil. It'll be okay."
Will it? I wondered. My life will never be the same again, there goes my education, a job and my future. What about Aidan?
Crap! I'd have to tell him. Why is it that the one sodding time we didn't use a condom I get pr-
The word got caught up in my head, I couldn't think it, let alone say it. No this is just a bad dream. Any minute now I'll wake up.
Holding me at arms length my cousin looked at me. "Lily, whose is it? You have to tell him."
I shook my head. "Some boy. I will but not just yet. I never wanted to get pregnant at sixteen," I cried.
"Technically you're seventeen now," Molly muttered and I shot her a look. "Sorry," she added. "You'll be fine, I promise. But you need to see Astoria to double check, these things are only like ninety-nine per cent correct."
I couldn't speak. How could this be happening? How could we have been so stupid?
Stuffing the test in my pocket I barged past Molly, running out of the pub into the pouring rain. Dodging students as I ran, I headed straight for the apothecary. The bell above the door rang as I entered, I didn't stop until I found myself staring at the different types of tests. I grabbed two of the cheapest and dumped them on the counter.
"That'll be four galleons please," the girl informed as I rummaged in my pocket.
My hood fell down as I handed over the money and I was just picking the boxes to leave when she caught my wrist.
"Are you okay?" she questioned as I blinked through the tears.
"I'm f-" I choked on my words. Hell I wasn't fine, I was far from fine.
Without speaking, the girl waved her wand at the door which locked itself and the sign saying 'we're open' turned around. "Come with me," she instructed, pointing towards the door behind the counter.
Going through I found myself in a room; there was a table and chairs as well as a sofa, there was also a small kitchen on the side.
I was waiting for a lecture off her, but it didn't come.
"You can used the bathroom if you like," she offered pointing to a door just off the kitchen.
I nodded silently as I went over, closing the door behind me I took the tests out before doing exactly as I did before. I binned the wrapping, as I counted down the sixty seconds. It felt like one of the longest minutes of my life but soon enough they both came up with the same word; Positive.
There it was again, proof I wasn't dreaming. I put them in my pocket and stared at myself in the mirror, taking deep breaths before I went out.
"I'm Bee," the girl smiled at me. "Well, Beatrice, but everyone calls me Bee. I made you some hot chocolate."
"Thanks," I managed to say as I shrugged my coat off.
I picked the mug up and took a sip, the warmth of the liquid trickled down my throat. I was welcome to the comfort of the heat in my hands, I hadn't realised how cold I was until now.
My head perked up at the sound of my name. "How do you know who I am?"
"I was at school with your brother; James. We were friends."
The more I looked at her appearance the more I started to recognise her. Of course, she always used to be at The Burrow or at home with James and sometimes his other friends. How did I not realise it before?
"I take it those tests didn't come out with the result you wanted," Bee stated. I nodded as I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie. "It's hard I know, but whatever you choose to do you'll be fine. I was in your shoes a few years ago, my little boy is now two."
I gasped, I hadn't been expecting her to say that. "I- I don't want it to be true though," I uttered in a small voice. "I thought this was just a sickness bug, I've been tired and I've fainted and I just feel totally drained."
Setting her cup down, she looked at me and said, "Have you seen Madame Malfoy? From what you've said you could be anaemic."
I shook my head. "I can't, it would be all too real then."
Bee laughed and I wondered why. It wasn't until she explained did I understand. "I thought the same as well. I didn't tell anyone, not the matron, my friends or even my parents. Not even the father. I hid my pregnancy unnoticed until I was thirty-two weeks when he decided he wanted to make an appearance," Bee spoke. "I thought that if I kept quiet it couldn't be happening. Please don't be in denial, Lily. It doesn't work out well in the end when your both fighting for your lives."
Sitting in silence, I had no idea what to say. I didn't have a clue as to what I was going to do.
"Why didn't you tell the father?" I blurted out. Bee looked taken a back and I couldn't say I was surprised, I was surprised I had asked that myself.
Sighing she said, "I wanted to I did. But he had huge plans for his future and well I didn't want to ruin them. Not that Codie ruined my life, but I had a lot less to lose than him. It wasn't meant to happen we were just messing around."
"I-I know what you mean. It was the one time we didn't use anything," I admitted not really understanding why I was telling her this. Maybe it was because she understood, maybe it was because she was a friendly face. "YoucanttellJames," I said all in a rush.
Bee nodded, her brown hair bouncing around her shoulders. "I understand, can you not tell him you've seen me, please."
"Thank you, for this I mean. It still feels likes a dream, but telling someone has helped a bit."
"Make sure you see the matron."
I nodded as I stood up, pulling my coat back on. Bee put the mugs in the sink and then opened the shop back up.
"Any time you need to talk, Lily, I'm here most days."
After leaving I stopped in an alley just up from the shop and stared at all three tests. None of them changed not matter how hard I wished.
This was happening, this was real.
I am going to get into so much shit for this.
Throwing the tests in the nearest bin I stalked off, heading to get a carriage back to the castle.
Finding out your pregnant on your seventeenth birthday really puts things into perspective.
A/N Dun dun dun... Lily finally has the result! Any thoughts on what's going to happen next? Or if anyone else gets told/finds out?
Chapter 4: Of Secrets, Crying and Admitting Defeat
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Stunning CI by Ianthe @ TDA!
A/N Huge thanks to all of you who read, review and favourite. Here's chapter four!
It was just us, no one else. Lessons were over for the week and after double Herbology last, Aidan had somehow persuaded me to help him with homework. The others were in the library which is how we ended up in the very empty, but messy sixth year boys dorm.
Somehow I knew we weren't going to get any homework done and I was right. The second after we sat on his bed, I had barely pulled my cardigan off because I was hot when Aidan kissed me. It was as if all my senses came to life and before I knew, clothes were gone and we were no longer just kissing.
"Aidan," I mused as I looked up into his blue eyes, from where I led beside him. "We ne-"
I was cut off by him putting a finger over my mouth stopping me from saying what I wanted to. "Shh, I hear something."
"Aidan, you here?" Came my cousin Hugo's voice as the dorm door squeaked open and I sunk further under the covers. "So much for studying then." He laughed to himself before shutting the behind him with a bang.
I felt a hand running along my leg and then Aidan started to tickle my weak spot. I let out a loud laugh and clamped one of my hands over my mouth. With my free hand I batted at Aidan's arm. "Stop," I hissed as I emerged from under his quilt. "What if he comes back?"
"Then I'll do this," he replied as he bent forward, kissing my mouth, which was open in protest.
I melted against him, his arms snaking around my waist as my own went around his neck, the one running through his hair.
I couldn't bring myself to ruin the moment. To tell him what had been on my mind. To say it out loud would make it feel real. The fire running through my body blazed under his touch and instead of saying anything, I kept quiet, my thoughts becoming dazed as Aidan kissed me.
Sneaking out of the boys dorm had been harder than I expected, it was nearly dinner time therefore the common room and the stairs to the dorms were both busy and alive with chatter. Thankfully no one was in our dorm when I entered, stripping off my uniform I chucked it onto my bed before getting changed. Picking my wand back up, I tucked it in the pocket of Aidan's grey hoodie that I had on.
I couldn't face dinner, I didn't think I could face Hugo considering he nearly caught me and Aidan earlier. That and I still had something on my mind, one word etched into my brain. Molly had tried to broach the subject with me but I kept brushing it off, I couldn't talk about it, not yet anyway.
There was one person I wanted to talk to, someone who would understand. Having got Kallie to get Albus' invisibility cloak she handed it to me this morning at breakfast. I pulled it on as I came down the spiral stairs, careful to not brush against anyone who passed.
It must have been pure luck that Liam and Hugo came walking through the portrait hole, just as I as about to leave. Slipping between I accidentally touched Liam's hand and I had to refrain from laughing as he looked at Hugo.
"Dude?" Liam questioned.
Having had to run partway down the corridor to stop my laughter I was unable to catch the rest of their conversation. Feeling that tiny bit happier than I had in days, I stepped into an alcove and slipped the cloak off folding it up and tucking it under my hoodie. Becoming lost in thought I made my way through the castle.
The thought that this could be my last time here scared, the thought that something was growing inside of me scared me. But what scared me the most was losing everyone I loved. I couldn't even imagine how mum and dad would react, let alone Aidan or even the gang.
Once on the third floor I headed for the statue of the One -Eyed Witch, using my wand I tapped it's head and muttered, "Dissendium."
The witch's hump opened revealing the short slide, bracing myself I slid down clutching the invisibility cloak close to my stomach.
"Lumos," I murmured before getting to my feet and starting the walk down the passageway.
Despite the cold November weather, I was sweating when I arrived in Honeydukes. The shop was still open and I was able to slip through the cellar and shop easily.
"No!" I yelled in frustration as I saw the sign in the apothecary window said 'closed'.
"Can I help you dear?" a small voice asked from behind me.
I whipped around to find an elderly witch hunched over where she stood. There was a weird looking bird on top of her purple hat which gave me the creeps.
"D-do you know B-Beatrice?" I stuttered. "She works in the apothecary?"
The old witch gave me a smile. "The lovely girl, brown hair?" I nodded. "Of course, she lives above the shop with her little one."
"Thank you," I called in reply as I rushed through the gate at the side of the shop and down the alley. In front of me I found a bright red door, lifting the knocker I let it go with a 'bang' against the wooden door. My foot tapped impatiently as I waited, it felt like forever to me but soon enough Beatrice opened the door with a smile on her face.
"Lily?" she questioned when she saw me.
I looked at my feet as I scuffed the toe of my shoe along the floor. "I-I was wondering if I could talk to you, but the apothecary was shut and I-I just can't do this," I said as my voice quivered and broke as I held back the tears.
Ushering me in, she told to me head on upstairs whilst she closed the door. I went on up and as I entered the living area I instantly saw pictures stuck to her fridge that her little boy must have made for her. The thought that he might be here hadn't occurred to me now that I had just barged in on her night.
I mumbled, "I'm sorry."
Bee just waved a hand at me as I perched tentatively on the edge of her sofa. "Drink? I've got squash, pop, milk or you can have something warm?"
It didn't take long for Bee to us both a drink, which she brought over with a plate of biscuits. She took a seat on the chair and looked over at me. "What is it you wanted to talk about, Lily?"
I shut my eyes for a second before replying. "I-" I paused struggling to find the words to say this. Taking a deep breath I tried again. "Me and Aidan, we're not together. I mean we're best friends, practically inseparable and we've been messing around since February. Until now we haven't had a problem."
"It's not necessarily a bad thing, Lily. I mean you two know each other so well so you obviously care for one another. A baby will change your life totally. Every relationship you have, whether it be Aidan or your parents, will be pushed to a point," Bee explained. "I understand completely with what your saying but sometimes it's when you get to that point that you realise you need that person, no matter what is happening."
I nodded, I mean I wasn't sure what Aidan would do but thing I did know, was that this would test both our friendship and what ever sort of friends with benefits relationship we have as well.
"I know things will change," I started to say as my voice quivered again. I hated having to stop to compose myself but I knew I had to sort myself out. "I just can't do this, I can't be a mother at seventeen, Bee, I just can't. Does it make me a bad person because I don't want this baby?" I asked as I was powerless to stop my voice from going and the tears from forming.
As I tried to wipe away tears Bee got up and came to sit by me, pulling me into her warm embrace. As she stroked my hair, in a soothing voice she said, "It's okay, Lily. Of course it doesn't."
I hiccuped through my tears. "I'm not ready. I honestly can't do it, I don't want to be a mum at seventeen, I want to stay at Hogwarts and do what teenagers do," I sobbed. "I don't want to do my seventh year with a baby, I want to leave here with a bang not with a baby who was unplanned."
Bee let me go, as I struggled to breath thanks to my crying and snot, and passed me the tissue box from off the coffee table which was covered with magazines and toys. I shook my head as I blew my nose, feeling more awful than ever. "I don't even have a job, how could I afford a baby!" I exclaimed. "I didn't plan on getting p-" The word caught in my throat as I blew my nose again, trying to steady my breathing. "Knocked up, this wasn't meant to happen. I don't want this and I feel awful for saying it but I don't, Bee, I really don't."
Bee pulled in and hugged me again, letting me cry onto her shoulder as I hiccuped and sobbed. "I'm not saying you have to pick now, but you have three options, Lily."
I nodded as I pulled away. "C-can I use your bathroom, please?"
She smiled at me. "First door on the left. I'm just going to get something from the shop," Bee informed me as she stood up.
Whilst it was fairly small, the bathroom was very neat and colourful. I half smiled at the rubber ducks which were lined up on the side of the bath. Looking in the mirror I found a different girl staring back at me. My hair was a complete mess, my eyes were red and puffy and no matter what I looked completely and utterly miserable. Not only that I felt it too.
Running the cold tap I cupped my hand underneath splashing my face with the water. If felt so nice on my cheeks which felt like they were burning. It took me a while to stop crying and even then there were still tears in the corner of my eyes. Sighing I left, trying to keep it as neat as I went on.
On the coffee table were three leaflets, each with a different heading. "I should get back to the castle," I murmured, sitting back down.
Bee smiled at me, placing her hand on mine and squeezing it. "It's okay to be scare, but promise me that you will see Astoria."
I nodded, I'd have to face up to this sooner or later, and I'd rather not have it be later. "I promise."
As she handed me the leaflets she said, "Have a flick through them, see what you think is best. Speak to Astoria about them too, it's your choice but both she and I can give you advice."
"I'm sorry for intruding on your night," I apologised. "I hope I didn't wake your little one?"
She laughed. "He could sleep through anything, but don't you worry, you didn't intrude. I wasn't doing a lot any way as my parents are babysitting tonight. I'd have only fallen asleep in front of the TV."
I smiled weakly as we hugged again. I stuffed the leaflets in my pocket, wishing I could be in a dream.
Bee waved from the door as she watched me head down the street back to Honeydukes. I hated knowing that the walk back up would be filled of my thoughts and me muttering to myself. If someone could take me away I would go with them, even if it meant living somewhere freezing cold.
I hated my reality and yet I would soon have to face up to it.
"I can't," I told Aidan as I brushed my fingers across his.
It was Saturday evening and we were alone in the Room of Requirement in amongst the beanbags and cushions, in our small haven of privacy. The others thought we were off studying somewhere. I knew this would be a good time to tell him but I couldn't bring the words out of my mouth. I got tongue tied at the thought of telling him.
"Why not, Lil," he protested. "You're our best chaser and we need you there for practice, we can't have two chasers.
I sighed. "Aid, I told you I've been told to take it easy since I've been ill, so I can't do practice later."
Aidan let out a huge sigh and I felt his chest rise and deflate as I was lent against him. "I don't want to goo," he whined. "Can't I just stay here with you."
Laughing as I sat up, I turned to look at him leaning forward to kiss him. I had been planning on saying that he had to go and so did I, but I couldn't. I loved how my body fitted against his, like two puzzle pieces. His hands snaked away my waist and I smiled against his lips which were soft as always. I swear that boy uses lip balm, honestly.
"Don't go," he mumbled.
Pulling away I made to stand up, but his fingers caught mine as he looked at me with a dopey smile.
"Please tell me your coming to see the fireworks?"
"Of course, now come on," I told him as I attempted to pull him up. After watching me struggle he eventually got up himself as he picked up his broom up off the sofa.
On leaving the room I was thankful there was no one in the corridor. Standing on my tip-toes I gave him a swift kiss on the cheek and then left quickly, leaving him bemused. Waving back to him as we went our separate ways I headed to collect Molly.
I didn't have to go far as the second I turned the corner I saw her walking towards me. She gave a little wave as I stopped and waited. Linking up with my arm we made our way down to the first floor where the Hospital Wing is.
"So," Molly started to say. "You've made a decision then?"
There hadn't been any time to talk to her last night when I got back from Hogsmeade, but I spent most of the night weighing up my options. Then this morning everyone seemed to be around so I couldn't tell her. I had a feeling she would be there no matter what but I also know I should have told Aidan.
I nodded. "I can't do it, Mol. I can't have a baby," I uttered the word in a repulsed voice as if it were a bad word.
She squeezed my hand as if understanding. "Did you tell the father?"
"No, I mean if it's nothing more then he doesn't have to know."
For the rest of the walk through the castle we were silent. The chatter of students around us kept me distracted from my thoughts whilst Molly hummed under he breath. I was hesitant when we got there, the great big wooden doors just waiting to be pushed open. Molly nudged me and I forced myself to go in. I had been in the hospital wing many a time for various Quidditch injuries but thankfully it was never anything serious.
From where she sat at her desk at the far end of the ward, she looked up at our arrival. The walk down felt like it took forever, that the room was getting longer and longer and that I would never make it. It wasn't until Molly nudged me again that I came to my senses.
"Good evening, girls. How can I help you?" Astoria greeted as she stopped what she was doing.
I opened my mouth ready to speak but the words couldn't come out. I felt like a goldfish as I opened and closed my mouth.
"Can we talk in private, please?" Molly piped up.
We followed her into her office which had another desk inside, as well as filing cabinets which covered the walls from floor to ceiling. The large window behind her desk let in a large amount of light, whilst the two doors off it were closed. There were two comfy looking chairs this side of the desk so we sat down, as Astoria shut the door.
"So," she said as she sat down, crossing her hands on top of the papers on the desk. "How can I help? Will you be needing any contraception?"
Molly let out a squeak but turned it into a cough as I looked at the floor.
"I-I-I'm p-" The word got caught in my throat once again. "I-I'm knocked up," I blurted out.
The room was dead silent as I continued to stare at the floor. Astoria cleared her throat before speaking, "Is that so? Have you done any tests?"
"Three muggle ones, I think I'm two months, maybe."
"Very well, have you thought about what you're going to do?"
I screwed my eyes up willing myself not to cry. "I-I wish to have an abortion," I murmured as Astoria logged onto her wiz-computer which meant she was able to communicate to St. Mungo's without having to wait for an owl.
"At St.Mungo's I take it?" She asked and I nodded, opening my mouth to ask a question. "Everything will be discreet, Miss Potter, I can assure you." Astoria typed some more on the wiz-computer and then looked back at me. "Is next Saturday okay at eleven thirty in the morning?"
"Sure, thank you."
Molly who had been silent raised an eyebrow at me making me frown back at her. "Um, Matron, last week Lily was quite sick, a lot and last Thursday night she fainted out of the blue. I told her to come and see you, but she's stubborn y'see," Molly explained as I just looked at her.
"Is it okay if I run a few tests, Miss Potter? To double check that you are pregnant and to find a reason for this? Morning sickness is common of course but you shouldn't have been that ill with it," Astoria explained to us.
I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and nodded.
"I will need to do both a blood and urine test. If you could fill this up for me please." With that she handed me a vial. "The bathroom's just off the ward."
Nodding I left the room to the small bathroom and did what I had to, despite thinking I couldn't. On re-entry I handed the vial to her and Molly wrinkled her face in disgust. There was now a striking purple potion filling another vial on the desk, Astoria then mixed that into the one I had just given her. As they connected they made not only a splashing sound but a sizzling one to. I was memorised as they swirled together.
"Now you haven't got a phobia of needles or anything, Lily?" I shook my head as she led me out of the room, trailed by Molly who was looking a bit lost as to what to do.
She prepared my arm before using the needle to name two small tubes of blood. Molly squeezed my hand as I winced as she pulled it out, placing a cotton wool ball on the small hole.
"I can have the results of both tests to you in half an hour. You can either wait to choose to come back."
Standing up, I chose to leave, I couldn't stand waiting here for half an hour, it would do my head in. "I'll be back," I assured her.
Molly linked my arm, outside the hospital wing we nearly bumped slap bang into Kallie and Olivia. My face dropped and I was lost for words.
Kallie's face lit up. "There you are! We've been looking for you, the boys went off to practice and whatever else they get up too."
"How come you're not with them, Lil?" Liv questioned.
"Still a bit weak from that stupid sickness bug," I said through gritted teeth. Kallie gave me a sympathetic look but the her smile faded as she looked from Molly to the hospital wing.
Gasping, she clutched her hands to her mouth. "I'm so sorry, Mol, I forgot to ask. How did the test go? Y'know the pregnancy test," she asked as she mouthed the word 'pregnancy'.
I didn't have time to react or even nudge Molly because she spoke with ease.
With a shrug of her shoulders she said, "False alarm, came out negative."
Liv patted her arm. "Probably for the best, it's ridiculous having a child at this age!"
I was outraged by that. She has no idea how it could have happened and yet she's so quick to judge. For all she knows it was stupid mistake, the one time that we didn't use a condom and boom I get freakin' knocked up.
Before any of us could say anything more, Kallie dragged us off to the grand staircase. "Come on, the fireworks will be starting soon," she squealed.
I allowed myself to be taken away, I needed a distraction so I wouldn't mull over my thoughts or even over think them. Kallie took us outside and we sat on the cold stone steps, it was chilly considering all I had on was Aidan's grey hoodie over my top.
Even from here we could see the pitch and I longed to be down there with them. I wasn't going to let this affect my training, we've got a big match coming up next month and we cannot afford to lose. I could make out the girls passing what must have been the Quaffle between them, I could tell from the way there were separate from the others; that and their long hair.
One of the boys was zooming around the pitch, followed by another. It was bound to be Aidan and Liam since they're our beaters. Aidan, I sighed at the thought of his name. Am I right in not telling him? I mean this will all be over soon. Next I will make sure that we have something, hell I'd even consider going on the pill. This isn't happening again, at least not for a good few years.
The sky was darker already, making it harder to see those training despite the big bright pitch lights. I already knew that a bunch of fireworks were being let off on there because they were muggle ones, and Aidan had told me practice would have to finish earlier.
Out of most of the holidays, I really do love Bonfire Night. The sky always looks so pretty and with every bang, fizzle and pop I instantly think back to when I was little. Mum and dad had taken myself, James, Albus and Teddy out to one of the hills near The Burrow. It was there in the cold we set up a small camp with a fire in which we cooked sausages and then toasted marshmallows. I remember we were all huddled under these giant blankets, keeping warm as the sky lit up in an array of colours, it was like there was thousand of Bertie Botts bean being thrown across the dark sky.
I was so lost in my own world that I hadn't realised that the team had come up or that Aidan and Liam had joined us and Hugo and Matt who also appeared out of no where. I was vaguely aware that Molly muttered to me that time was up but for now I didn't care. I was happy, remembering special times, I didn't want those result to ruin anything.
There were larger gathering of people out and about, there were even people sat down by the lake wrapped up in thick coats or snuggle in a blanket. As if my thoughts had been read, something fluffy was thrown at me by my brother.
"Hey!" I protested, but secretly I was glad. I couldn't tell whether it was for my benefit, being his sister or Kallie's. Wrapping it around myself and Molly, as well as Kallie who joined us we hugged the ends tight to keep in out body heat. I found myself smiling at the fact that some of the Professors were out here as well.
From down on the pitch the first lot were being set off and I smiled at the loud banging noises whilst those nearer us set off Uncle George's special creations. I nearly jumped out of my skin when a firework dragon roared from behind us as it floated over the castle doors.
The test results were pushed to the back of my mind as I started to enjoy the night. They still bothered me but at least I had a smile on my face, I was going to enjoy tonight, no matter what, Every now and again a tray with mugs of steaming hot chocolate or warm Butterbeer would float by. Aidan ending up sharing out blanket too, so it meant we were sat in close proximity, his one hands held mine and I smiled some more just as a Flaring Weasley went up, creating a shower of bright red and orange sparks. It was a perfect way to end the night really.
By eleven McGonagall was bringing at end to the fireworks, thought I had a sneaking suspicion there would still be some of uncle George's floating and flying around the grounds tonight. As much as I didn't want to I dragged myself back to the hospital wing with Molly, the others hadn't notice as we had left them outside and people were slowly heading off to various common rooms in dribs and drabs.
It was dark when we entered and I felt bad having to knock her office door, in case she was asleep.
"Miss Potter," a voice from behind called. Turning on the spot I saw the matron walking up the ward to us. "You're not the only ones enjoying the fireworks." Astoria unlocked her office, picking up a file from off her desk. "The urine test came back positive, you're definitely pregnant. As for the other results, it appears that your anaemic, Lily."
I frowned, I know Bee had mentioned it to me when I saw her the first time but I had no idea of what it meant.
Seeing the look on my face she proceeded to explain and I nodded in return trying to take all of this in. "There are three types and yours is the most common, it can be treated and whilst you've made your decision you are going to have to be careful over the next two weeks. It's important you get enough iron in your diet."
"These," she explained as she produced a list, passing it to me. "Are a list of foods all enriched with iron. I've also prescribed you some iron supplements and folic acid tablets , you're to take one of each a day."
I nodded carefully as she handed over two packets of tablets. "Will it last?" I asked. "I mean even after I have the..." I trailed off.
The matron shook her head, browns hairs escaping out of her neat bun. "Not forever, you'll have to take them for a week or two afterwards. I'll then do another blood test to either make sure it's just pregnancy related or whether you need further treatment."
"Thank you, matron."
She smiled as we left and I clutched the tablets close to my chest under the blanket which I had ended up carrying.
"Let's got to bed, I'm completely shattered," I admitted as we passed people in the corridors who were still fascinated by stray fireworks outside.
It had been such a long day that my bed and the thought of sleep was looking very promising. As was a lie-in tomorrow providing I won't have to throw up at stupid o'clock. Oh the joys of this stupid, messed up illness.
A/N The reason why Lily was so ill was due is due to her having anemia. Nobody ever said being pregnant was easy as Lily is finding out. Lily's has finally seen Astoria and made a decision of sorts. Thoughts?