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Major Headache by Stephanie M
Chapter 1: I Hate James Potter
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If someone asked me for a million reasons why I won’t date James Potter, I would be able to list a million in a heartbeat.
If you asked for a million things that he does that ticks me off, I would be able to list a billion.
If you asked me how I could ever hold out against those just gorgeous blue eyes of his, I would first start choking on my bread, spit out my water, and barf on you for even mentioning his stupid eyes.
Unfortunately, barfing on your best friend isn’t exactly the best thing to do, especially if she has your homework in one hand and a goblet of pumpkin juice in another. Which was the bloody reason I couldn’t barf on Madeleine. After all, who would want to turn in a sheet that reeked of pumpkin juice?!
"Oh, come on, Lils!” she squealed. “His eyes—oh, god, his—oh, look! He’s coming over right now!”
I let out a groan. “Come on, Lily! Flatten your hair! Did you even brush it this morning?” she asked, exasperated.
I sniffed, offended. “Of course I did.”
"Well, brush it better! You look like a demented monkey!”
"Good.” I said defiantly. “Maybe my looks will scare him off.”
"Lils, if you haven’t scared him off for two years, I doubt he’ll be scared now. And—oh, gosh, he’s coming closer!”
"So?” I rolled my eyes.
"So everybody’s eyes are bloody coming out of their sockets! Look, Lily, look! Oh my bloody god, is he wearing cologne?”
I crinkled my nose. “Maybe. Or another option is that someone ate too many Chocolate Frogs, and was farting all day long.”
Madeleine ignored me. “His hair’s ruffled as always! Oh, that smile, that smile! Oh, it’s enough to make a grown woman cry! And I should know!”
"You should.” I retorted, burying my face into my breakfast as the Marauders came closer.
"Whoah, whoah, Evans! Easy on the bread! We don’t want you becoming any fatter than you already are!”James snickered.
I tossed my head and retorted sharply, “Is that so, Potter? Or was I the only one who saw you laying on the donuts?”
"Very funny, Evans.” He said, grinning proudly. “I’m a growing man. I need my nutrients.”
"Man?” I ridiculed. “You dare call yourself a man? You, fifty pounds of flab with no brain, a man?” Even his friends laughed at my wit.
"Now, Evans.” He smiled still. “How I would love to discuss that false statement.” He rolled his robes up, showing his muscles. I could almost see the majority of girls looking on drool. I smirked, not knowing how to reply.
"Aren’t you speechless, Evans?” He smirked too. “But that wasn’t what I came for.”
"Well, then what is it?” I snapped. “I’m in the middle of doing something!”
"You mean drowning yourself in your breakfast?” Sirius snickered.
"For your information, Black, I was apparently “drowning myself in my breakfast” because I would very much rather look at my food then at you. So, James, tell me what you bloody need before I die of old age!”
James came closer to me so that I could smell his peppermint breath. I heard Madeleine take in a sharp, delighted breath, and I glared. The Marauders whistled.
"You know I love how you look when you’re angry?” he whispered, lifting my chin up. I didn’t flinch, but continued glowering at him. “Come on, Evans. We both know that you’re falling for my charm already.” He put a hand to my face. I stood still, unyielding and cold. “Go out with me, Evans.”
I pushed him back fast and hard, making him almost crash into the next table, and stood straight up. “Potter, if you think I’m ever going to go out with you, you’re mad.” I hissed. “How about you go away before a certain, nasty goblet of juice gets thrown in your face?”
"Come on, Evans.” He soothed. I could practically see his over-confidence lighting up the entire Great Hall. “You wouldn’t. You’re too in love with me.”
I picked up Madeleine’s goblet and dumped it on his hair. James’ eyes widened. Sirius and Remus quickly ushered him away.
As soon as the Marauders scampered away, Madeleine began lecturing me. “Lily! That was my pumpkin juice! Now what will he think of me?”
"He’ll think no less of you.” I snapped. “That over-confident prat! He has gone too far, too far. . .” I trailed off, fuming. She immediately saw how livid I was and closed her mouth. Smart girl, she is. We continued eating our breakfast in silence.
"Well,” Madeleine tentatively said. “Time for class, Lils.”
"Okay.” I decided to let go of my anger. “Where’s my homework?”
"Oh. About that.” She stammered. “Um, well, Sirius and James, well, kind of, um, you see, they, um, well—“
"Madeleine, stop stammering and just tell me!” I snapped. Well, there goes my resolution to not be angry anymore. I thought.
"Well, Lils, they. . .took it.” She whispered quietly.
I stared at her, open-mouthed. “And you let them?” I screamed.
"Well. . .” she tried guiltily.
"I’m your best friend! You let them take my HOMEWORK?!” I yelled, unfazed by her guilty reaction.
"I’m sorry! I tried, Sirius, he just—“
"Ugh!” I shouted and stomped away.
"Lily!” I heard her shout in protest, but I didn’t stop.
Merlin, they’ll be sorry. I fumed. No one gets away with my homework, especially if their names are either Black or stupid, stupid Potter.
And that’s for sure.
Chapter 2: Dangerous Games
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A/N: Okay, guys! I forgot about a chapter ( -.- I feel so stupid) so if you don't recognize anything from before, it's because it was from a previous (ahem, forgotten) chapter. Sorry for the inconvenience! And remember to leave a review! :) Thanks so much for all the support!
A beautiful CI by the ever-so-wonderful nostalgia at the TDA!
I looked around wildly. Finally, I spotted them amidst all the running students: lying against the wall chatting while girls who passed by giggled and pointed. I broke into a run and rudely shoved my way through the crowd. “Move it!” I yelled at a small, raven-haired second year. She quickly obliged, her eyes wide open in fear. I went a few paces more, before I stopped and turned, sighing. “Oh. . .” I huffed. "Oh, I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m sorry.” I quickly apologized. The girl nodded, and scrambled away. I continued on, trying to break through the swarming ocean of people. “Black and Potter, you two horribly stinkin’ pieces of bologna! Drop dead! When I get to you, I’ll hex you into the next bloody century! Where is my homework, you prats? ” I yelled when I finally reached them.
"Now, now, Evans.” Sirius smirked. “What’s wrong?”
"You know what’s wrong!” I shouted. “Where is my homework?”
"Well, Sirius.” James said smiling. “I don’t know. Where is it?”
"You know where it is!” I yelled. “Now just give it back before I give you some more pumpkin juice!”
He flinched, but quickly recovered. “Like I care.” He announced. “Your homework, on the other hand. . .”
"Oh, you two ugly arseholes! Where is Mcgonagall?” I threw my fists down in a manner of impatient anger.
"Finding the teacher is of no concern of ours.” Sirius smugly replied. "We already have detention. So, Evans, it’s either go out with James, or join us in detention for not doing your homework.”
"You can’t blackmail me!” I shrieked loudly. “She’ll see right through it—“ They laughed and high-fived each other. I glared at them both and waited for them to calm down.
"Well, Evans?” Sirius asked. “Have we got you tongue-tied? We got her bad, right James?”
"Right!” Potter laughed. Barely before they even closed their mouths, I whipped out my wand and pointed it under his chin.
"Believe it or not, Potter.” I spat. “Though I may be a girl, though I may be what you call a mudblood, though I may be a goody-two shoes, I am not mediocre in both punching and witchcraft.” James went crossed-eyed trying to look at my wand. “And you!” I spun to face Black. “You’ve got ten seconds to either give me back my Potions homework, or—or. . .” I trailed off. Sirius was open-mouthed, staring at something behind my shoulder. “What’re you looking a-a-a—“ I stopped and looked behind me. “Oh.” I said, my throat seeming unusually dry. “Oh. Well, hi there, Professor.”
"This is all your fault, do you hear me? ALL YOUR BLOODY FAULT!” I hissed quietly.
"Come on, Evans.” Potter said miserably. “At least you escaped with a week of detention. We got a whole, bloody, stupid month.”
"Well, it serves you right!” I retorted angrily. “You got me in this mess!”
"Oh, please.” Sirius said hotly. “You could’ve chosen the easier option! So it’s our fault that you chose to attack us and get us all in trouble?”
"So it’s my fault that you decide to steal my homework and blackmail me? Ironic thing to say, Black.”
"Ironic thing that you’re talking while I am when you already gotten a week of detention!” Professor Slughorn scolded. “All of you! Isn’t grouping you together for class enough?”
"It’s too much.” I murmured beneath my breath furiously.
"What was that?” he asked.
"I said, ‘IT’S BLOODY TOO MUCH!’” I screamed out my frustration before I even thought of what I was saying.
The entire class went quiet. Slughorn cleared his throat. Then, he did the thing I least expected him to do: Laugh. His deep chuckles shook the entire room until some people joined in, not knowing at all why he was laughing.
"Well!” he puffed, still chuckling. “Aren’t you a cheeky one!”
I stood there, until I awkwardly sat back down again. “Well!” he said, still chuckling a bit. “Well! Well! Now, then, what’s your name?” he asked.
I quickly lied, “Esmerelda. Esmerelda Foster.”
"No it isn’t!” James contradicted. I mentally slapped myself on the head. “It’s Lily. Lily Evans.” I took in a sharp breath.
Slughorn chuckled again. “Well, then, Lily, let’s see if you can answer this question.” He pointed to the board. I immediately answered. "Wolfbane.”
"Cor-rect!” he laughed heartily. “Well! Smart and cheeky! I have a feeling that we’ll get along very, very, very well! Yes! And—“ he stopped mid-sentence. “Oh dear! I’ve kept you in! Off to your next class, youngsters!”
"Uh. . .Professor. . .” I raised my hand tentatively.
"We don’t have any class after.”
He stood and stared. “Why yes!” he exclaimed, beginning to laugh again. “Silly me! Yes, we’ll get along very well, I can feel it! Oh, yes—“ I slipped out quietly without him even knowing.
As soon as I got out, I ran over to James and punched him. “What in the name of Merlin was that for?” I yelled at him.
"I might ask you the same thing!” he shouted, gripping his arm. “What did I do?”
"Why’d you tell him that my name was Lily?” I punched him again. “I could’ve gotten into trouble! Arsehole! I bet you did it on purpose!”
"I told him because I thought you should have no shame in having your name as Lily!” he replied loudly. I winced. “DO YOU HEAR ME?” he cupped his mouth with his hands. Everybody stopped to stare. “LILY IS A BEAUTIFUL NAME! IT’S ONE OF A KIND, JUST LIKE HER!” He winked at me, and I recoiled in disgust.
"Hey, Lily,” James whispered. “How about a kiss, just to give this a nice touch and make everybody jealous?” He leaned in towards my face.
And I did the most reasonable thing I ever did in my entire life: I punched him in a place where you most certainly shouldn’t punch boys, and ran for it.
I got another three bloody weeks of detention…for you know what. That meant that I was to see Mcgonagall every single bloody day with both Potter and Black. Joy. I stabbed my waffle.
Madeleine and I weren’t talking. Or, rather, she tried talking to me, but I refused to even acknowledge her existence. Most of our conversations went along these lines:
Madeleine: Hi, Lils!
Me: (Silence. Or frown. Whichever you prefer.)
Madeleine: So! I was thinking. . .(trails off) You’re STILL mad at me? For Merlin’s sake, Lily Evans, lighen up! I already said I was bloody sorry, and I can’t really do anything else!
Me: (Silence. Or frown. Or glare.)
Madeleine: Humph! (walks off)
In other words, my life was miserable.
I groaned and pushed my plate away. Frowning at it, I continued to pick at my food until I heard the usual morning whispering. Nothing new there. I used my fork to pierce my strawberry and popped it into my mouth. Suddenly, heavy silence hung over the Great Hall. It seemed as though no one was moving. I wanted to find out what was happening, but I couldn’t. Looking would signify that I knew arrogant Potter existed. Finally, I gave in and casually looked up.
Let’s say I wished I didn’t.
My strawberry fell out of my mouth and onto the floor as I stared open-mouthed. My eyes bugged. There stood ever so confident Potter with just about the most gorgeous girl who ever stepped foot on the planet. He was smiling widely, and the other…girl shook her head, making her honeyed locks shimmer. The silence fell apart. Wide-eyed, boys tried to act cool, flipping their hair and laughing. Girls began whispering amongst each other, eyeing her in envy, awe, and hate all mixed into one. The Marauders and the girl paid no mind and walked over to sit in a seemingly uncharted spot on the benches. I felt like a truck ran me over. So what? I thought. So Potter gets a girlfriend after two years pining for me, why should I care?
I cared. A lot.
Through the entire breakfast, I nonchalantly asked everybody, “Hey! Who’s that girl over there, you know, with Potty boy? Yeah, I just want to warn her about him and the risks she’s taking….” Smooth, Lily.
But everybody shrugged. No one knew.
Finally, I sat down, sighing. Madeleine headed towards me again, and I ignored her. “Lily.” She sniffed.
"Madeleine.” I answered coldly.
She stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before I impatiently snapped, “What do you want?”
Madeleine scoffed. “I just wanted to let you know that your golden boy isn’t payin’ gold for your pretty little face anymore.”
I let out an arrogant laugh. “You think I’m stupid.” I accused. “As if that—“ I swung around to point at James feeding her chocolate. “—Isn’t enough?”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “You already know?” she asked, shocked.
"I have eyes and ears. Make the connection.” I replied haughtily.
"Well, fine!” Madeleine replied. “I was going to tell you all about her, but since you’re feeling snobby, I don’t think I will anymore.”
I resisted the urge to throw myself at her feet and beg for answers. "That’s perfectly fine with me.” I retorted. “I hope he takes at least two millennia to break her heart, cuz the longer he stays with her, the happier I’ll be!” My voice started off calm, and then slowly made its way back to category bitter.
"Wow.” Madeleine sat down next to me, awed. “You really don’t care.”
"Why should I?” my voice cracked a little bit, but no one could notice.
"Because he’s been after you for two years. Because he loved you for two years. Because you have every right to care.” Her voice was a little angry. “You don’t get it, do you? You’re lucky. Not everybody can have a guy chasing after them even after years of being bloody rejected, rejected, rejected!” Madeleine was yelling now. “And you don’t even appreciate it?!”
Just to let you know, having your usually calm, down-to-earth best friend scream at you isn’t exactly the most comfortable thing, especially if you’ve only seen her this livid once when her jokester brother put up posters all around the neighborhood of her naked when she was little.
"He was devoted to you for all this time, and YOU DON’T CARE?! He loved you, Lils! Love is a fragile thing. Do you know how much he must care about you to climb right back up, dust his hands off, and ask again? Wounded pride, a bleeding heart, do you have any idea of what he’s been through? And you don’t even want to acknowledge that he—“
"SHUT UP, MADELEINE!” I roared. Blood pounded in my ears. She flinched. “SO WHAT? WHAT DOES IT MATTER NOW? I DON’T CARE! THERE’S NOTHING ELSE, THERE’S NO MORE! IT’S BEST TO JUST FORGET ABOUT IT AND MOVE ON! THERE’S NO MORE MAGIC! YOU CAN’T FORCE ME TO LOVE HIM BECAUSE I—BLOODY—DON’T!”
Everybody was staring at us, but I didn’t care. Madeleine was just too smitten with him, too selfish to realize that she was making me do something that was really for her—not me.
"Wow, Lily.” Her voice was hoarse and angry, and worse, there was hatred in there. “You weren’t even listening to me, were you? Because if you’d just BACK OFF AND LISTEN FOR ONCE—“
"Oh, so it’s my fault, huh?” I yelled, one millimeter away from whipping my wand out and hexing her into oblivion. “It’s always my fault! Have you ever realized, Madeleine, that if you didn’t let yourself fall for Potter’s charm, this would never had happened?”
"I DON’T NEED YOU BLAMING ME FOR EVERYTHING THAT GOES WRONG IN YOUR LIFE!”
"SHUT—UP!” I screamed, beyond hysterical. I felt all consciousness of my actions slip away into madness. Madeleine paused, her eyes wide, to look at me. I took in a deep, shuddering breath in attempt to calm myself down. “That’s it.” I whispered, pushing her into the table harder than I had ever pushed Potter. “We. Are. Done.” The last word dropped like a boulder.
"That’s what you think, Evans.” She spat, taking her wand out before I could even process what was going to happen. "Reducto!”
Someone tackled me from the side, there was exploding pain, and then I knew no more.
Chapter 3: Friendship Murderer
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I woke up in the hospital wing thinking, Damn. I just murdered another friendship.
After breaking my friendship with Severus, I swore I’d never do such a thing again.
I am such a promise breaker.
I rubbed my forehead and sighed bitterly, unable to accept that Madeleine would actually do something like that to me. I mean, girly fights were okay, normal, even expected, but…for her to use her wand on me, Merlin, either I was really a bad friend, or she had completely gone bonkers.
I would rather think that she had gone bonkers.
Am I a bad friend? I thought. I didn’t think so. But then again, I couldn’t be sure—I couldn’t even remember what had happened. Little pieces of memories floated around in my brain, and I caught a familiar smell….
"Potter?” I whirled around to my right. There was nobody there. I turned to my left. The same there. I rubbed my neck. Merlin. I thought. I must’ve hit my head hard…real hard. I put my face in my hands and let out a long sigh. My head hurt, and there was a shooting pain in my leg. When I looked down, I wasn’t surprised to see bandages climbing all the way up to my knee. I let out another sigh.
"Oh, good, you’re awake.” Madam Pomfrey walked to me. “Take this.” She handed me a vial. I opened the cap and chugged it down. My taste buds died.
"Oh my god!” I coughed, putting a hand to my throat. “Sour—bitter—oh, Merlin! Bi-i-i-ttteerr! So-o-our! Agh!” I stuttered. She laughed merrily while I eyed her with a look of betrayal on my face.
"It helps wake you up.” She winked. “Oh, and Mcgonagall sent me a message saying that unless you are not feeling well, you must be at detention at eight o’ clock sharp.”
"Would the death of my taste buds be a valid excuse?” I asked, making a face and shuddering.
"I’m afraid not.” Pomfrey smiled. “It’ll wear off in a little bit. Until then, courage, Evans, courage!” I stuck my tongue out, and she walked away, laughing.
"Evans!” Pomfrey exclaimed. I crossed my arms and lifted my chin.
"I am not going; therefore, you must make a valid excuse. Tell McGonagall that I have…have…limesproutosis! That I have…groggensouts! Or outris!”
"Are you making up diseases, Evans?” she huffed.
I smiled sheepishly. “Guilty.” I admitted, and she scoffed. “But still—you can’t do this to me! You killed my taste buds! It’s the least you can do!”
Pomfrey let out an impatient sigh. “Get out of the bed, Evans!”
"I refuse.” I disdainfully said. She turned around sharply and went away.
Success! I sang in my head.
A few minutes later, she came back with McGonagall, James, and Sirius. I cursed myself.
"Well, Evans!” McGonagall sharply said. “Unless you are not feeling well—“
"Oh, but I’m not, professor.” I said sweetly. Her eyebrows rose. “You see, my throat is sore, my leg aches horribly, my face is aching—“
"Face aching!” Pomfrey interjected.
"—And my eyesight is blurry—“
"Blurry eyesight!” Pomfrey cut through.
"—And my nails hurt—“
"Nails!” she tried once more.
"—And there’s a hammering in my head—“
"Then take this!” she shoved the oh-so-familiar vial in my face, and I desperately pushed it away.
"—And my leg hurts!” I cried out. “—I can’t walk!”
"Well, then.” McGonagall sniffed. “Potter, you can carry her to my study—“
"WHAT?” I yelled. “NO! That’s..that’s—“
"Well, Potter?” she said sharply. “What are you waiting for?”
"I refuse!” I shook my head violently. “I am a free—“
"Potter!” Finally, he shuffled forward unwillingly. All the while, his eyes were cast downwards.
I yelped when I felt his arm slip under me. “GET—YOUR—HANDS—OFF—ME!” I screamed, kicking.
"Well, then, Pomfrey.” McGonagall smiled wryly. “Thank you for taking care of Evans—careful, now, don’t drop her!” My eyes bugged.
"You can’t do this!” I yelled. “I’ll—I’ll—“ Sirius sighed bitterly, watching the professor thank Pomfrey once more and head for the entrance. Keeping his eyes on McGonagall, he quickly placed his hand over my mouth.
I bit his fingers and relished his pained face.
Chapter 4: Pajamas Don't Fix Problems
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N/A: Okay, I’m really sorry about this chapter. I promised you guys a long chapter, but after all the chaos at school, I couldn’t do it. I’m sorry guys :( . I hope you guys forgive me XD.
The entire study was quiet except for the frantic scratching of the quill pens. I grumpily frowned all the while, not even caring that Sirius was snickering at me (not). Finally, when McGonagall looked away, I snapped quietly, “What are you snickering at?” He continued smirking. I let out an impatient groan and went on working.
"Hey, Evans?” Sirius jeered after a bit.
"What?” I asked sourly.
"You might want to, ahem, button up your shirt.” He laughed. I glanced down quickly, then blushed a deep crimson. Hastily, I buttoned up two more buttons and tried to ignore Sirius’ mocking. James’ head was down, and he was writing away furiously, not even paying attention one bit. A strange sensation tingled throughout my body, but I ignored it. I kicked Sirius under the chair and went on copying the sentences on the board.
I will not… I recited slowly as I wrote it on paper. Kick James….potter…I will not….kick James potter…I will not kick— “OW!” I let out a high-pitched yell. McGonagall looked up from her book. “What is the matter, Evans?” she asked dryly.
"Nothing.” I lied bitterly, glaring at Sirius. He had a victorious smirk on his face. McGonagall continued reading.
James’ head was down, but he was still writing hastily.
"What’s the rush, Potter?” I vehemently asked in a whisper.
There was no answer. I kicked him hard from under the table. That did the trick. His head went flying up, and he looked at me.
"I asked why you were rushing.” I repeated my question, gritting my teeth.
James rolled his eyes and picked up his quill to continue working. I looked at McGonagall, who was still reading, and snatched it out of his hands. “Answer me.” I demanded.
"Why would you want to know?” he asked coldly. His temper startled me, but I kept strong. All the while, Sirius was watching gleefully.
"I…” I couldn’t find an answer. James eyebrows went up, and he grabbed his quill back roughly.
"If you don’t have a reason, don’t ask.” He replied haughtily. Sirius laughed silently and murmured in James’ ear, “Silly mud—muggleborns.” He corrected hastily, glancing at the professor. Anger swelled up in my chest.
I kicked him hard under the table. Sirius eyes went wide, and he let out a squeaky high-pitched whimper. I snickered. He glared. I glowered. He smirked. I kicked him again.
The clock on McGonagall’s desk rang for us to leave precisely at the moment my shoe touched Black’s shin.
I am so pro.
Tucking a curl of hair behind my ears, I gathered up all my books in one giant heap and shot a triumphant smirk at Sirius. He just smiled back confidently and followed James out of the room. All the while, my eyes were on Potter. Throughout the entire detention, he had hardly said a word, and when he did, his words were cold. His warmness was gone, replaced by an icy, unpitying attitude. Blood froze in my veins as the puzzle pieces came together.
James Potter was ignoring me.
As soon as I got back into the dorms, I threw my books down in rage and punched the pillow continuously. “That—stupid—idiotic—inconsiderate—immature—cold—manipulating—beast!” I yelled. "That—evil—thoughtless—mediocre—selfish—unkind—uncaring—PRAT!” With every insult, I pummeled the pillow faster and harder. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid—“
"Lils?” a soft voice came from the door, and before I even looked up, I knew who it was.
"Madeleine.” My voice was emotionless—not cold, not warm, not anything.
"Hey.” Her voice shook, and it was quiet.
I nodded, but didn’t say anything in return. I didn’t even really know how to react angrily or forgivingly. Madeleine slowly inched forwards, and every time I looked up, she flinched.
"Do you need anything?” I asked. Once again, it wasn’t harsh, but it wasn’t friendly either. Madeleine winced.
"Look…” her voice trailed off weakly. “I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t think. I was just angry, and I couldn’t stop it—“
I cut her off. “Yeah. I get it. Whatever.” I turned away and put the pillow back in place.
"Lily…” she tried again.
When I didn’t answer, she stood there for a bit before walking away silently. I waited until she left before diving until my bed to cry.
I didn’t even put on my pajamas or shower. I just went to bed in my clothes.
Because honestly, I didn’t care. My fight with Madeleine wouldn’t disappear if I put on my pajamas. The bandages on my leg wouldn’t disappear if I put on my pajamas. That gorgeous girl wouldn’t disappear if I put on my pajamas.
And most of all, James Potter wouldn’t stop ignoring me if I put on my pajamas.
Chapter 5: Cruelty
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stunning CI by aim.moon @ the TDA!
I woke up feeling like seven million trucks carrying cow manure ran over me.
That totally sucked because the last time I felt that way was when I cut off Severus’ apologies.
....And I promised myself that I would never let myself feel that way again.
Did I tell you that I was such a promise breaker?
I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to sulk around feeling sorry for myself and hide in the closet and eat tub after tub after tub of ice cream.
It does help, you know, even if it makes you feel like you ate a frog after eating 120 pounds of chocolate gooeyness.
Unfortunately, that plan wouldn’t work.
So, instead, I bravely got out of bed sluggishly, brushed my teeth, threw on some clothes, and stumbled out of the dorms without even brushing my hair.
As soon as I got out, I ran straight into Sirius. “Off day, Evans?” he smirked.
"Shut it, Black.” I growled. “It’s not as though you never had one.”
"I haven’t.” he retorted.
"Let me refresh your memory, then.” I snapped. “How about that day when McGonagall made you scrub the entire Great Hall clean? Or when Professor Slughorn made you pick mushrooms for two hours? Or how about—“
"Alright, alright.” He cut me off rudely. I smirked. “Stop smirking Evans.” He said, irritated.
"Why?” I asked, continuing.
"Because James can find every single bloody way to make your life horrible.” Black responded.
I shrugged. “So? Your point is?”
"You’re jealous.” He laughed smugly. “Lily Evans is jealous!” he taunted loudly.
"Of what?” I asked drily.
"Of that girl James is dating.” He grinned. “You’re jealous!”
"No I’m not!” I growled, feeling my face grow warm. “Move!” I yelled at him, trying to shove him away.
"Yes you are!” he sang, his voice rising. “LILY EVANS IS JEALOUS!” he yelled. Everybody looked at him.
"BLACK!” I yelled. “Shut up!”
"LILY EVANS US JEALOUS! LILY EVANS IS JEALOUS!” He shouted down the stairs. Snide laughter filled the air.
"BLACK!” I yelled furiously at him, holding back tears. “SHUT YOUR BLOODY MOUTH UP!”
"LILY—EVANS—IS—JEALOUS!” He bellowed, making the laughter grow louder and louder with every word. “HEY, LILY?” He screamed. “DO YOU LOOOOVVEEEE JAMES?” Sirius asked.
The tears fell as the sound of people’s unmerciful jeering increased. Soon, everybody was chanting. “LILY EVANS IS JEAALOUUS! LILY EVANS IS JEAALOOUUS!” I just stood there numbly, letting the tears cascade down my cheeks.
"SHUT UP!” I screamed, but my voice was drowned out by all the noise. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” I continuously yelled, but no one could hear me. I felt my throat begin to sear with pain. “SHUT UP!” I screamed one more time, but my voice cracked. “SHUT—UP!” I roared, but the chanting continued all while Sirius smirked at me. Finally, everything came to a sudden stop.
"SLLEENNCEEE!” Somebody’s deep voice echoed through the air.
I turned around and couldn’t really see anything through my blurry eyesight, except for two figures standing a little distance away from me. “Everybody! Out!” I could recognize McGonagall’s shrill, tense voice. There was a shuffling of feet. I wiped my eyes and turned around, only to see the one and only James Potter staring at me emotionlessly. He was just standing there, leaning against the wall casually. Then, in a blink of an eye, he was gone. A million thoughts raced across my mind. James just stood there while everything unfolded around him, and he did absolutely nothing to stop it. I felt extreme anger swell up inside of me, but before I could even scream out all of my frustrations, I felt a firm hand on my shoulder. “Evans.” Dumbledore said kindly. “Are you alright?” he asked. I shook my head shakily and then blanched violently. McGonagall sounded shaken. “Evans. Are you alright?” I breathed in deeply through my nose, trying to calm the rage inside of me. “Lily. Calm yourself.” She ordered, and I took in a long breath with difficulty. Numbness and pain spread through my body. “Come.” Her voice was gentle. “It’s okay, Lily.” Everything was a blur as they walked me down to the hospital wing. It was like a dream—like I was completely brainwashed to do whatever anybody asked me to do. Words were exchanged quickly, but they just sounded like bees buzzing. Pomfrey handed me a vial, and I remember drinking from it, and then everything was gone.
As soon as I stirred from sleep, everything hit me. A desire for revenge burned up inside of me, taking over my senses. I threw the bed covers to the ground violently, and jumped out of bed, completely forgetting about my injured leg. I winced, but the pain didn’t stop me. “WHERE THE HELL IS THAT STUPID, IDIOTIC, MANIPULATING, COLD HYPOCRITE?” I screamed, kicking a table over. “WHERE IS JAMES FREAKING POTTER?” I blindly slammed my fist into the wall and was satisfied with the loud sound it made, even though the pain almost made me fall down. “URGH!” I yelled, grabbing the pillow and launching it at the nearest possible thing. It made a thunderous thwacking sound, making satisfaction burn through my chest. “STUPID, STUPID, STUPID—“
“Evans?” I heard McGonagall gasp. I turned around dazedly, looking at her with wide eyes like a savage animal. “What on earth are you doing?” her voice rose.
“Minerva!” Dumbledore yelled. “Stop! She doesn’t know what she’s doing. She’s paralyzed with pain!”
I stood there stupidly while Dumbledore yelled on. “Where’s Pomfrey?” he shouted.
“I’ll get her!” McGonagall responded quickly, her footsteps echoing down the hall.
“Evans.” Dumbledore sounded slightly out of breath. “Stop. Stop. You don’t know what you’re doing.”
I stared at him. “Stop. Calm down.” He said. “Calm yourself Lily.” Tears began rolling down my cheeks for no reason. I thought of every possible reason that I was a failure in life: my sister, James, Sirius, Madeleine…
“You’re not alone, Lily.” His blue eyes smiled at me. “It’s okay.”
“No it’s not.” I wailed. “This world is stupid.” I added in angrily.
“Sh…Evans….calm…calm.” he urged. I took in an unstable breath.
“It is.” I retorted, wiping my eyes so furiously that white spots formed before my eyes. “The world stinks.”
He chuckled. “It does, doesn’t it?” he said thoughtfully. “But that’s what makes it so beautiful too.”
“The world is awful. Nothing ever makes sense. Humans are absolutely horrible creatures.” I said vehemently.
Dumbledore nodded grimly. “Ah..yes. Humans are of the most selfish of all creatures, more selfish than merpeople, more selfish than centaurs, more selfish than anything. We have yet to learn to appreciate what we have.”
“Humans are stupid.” I said angrily. “James is stupid. Sirius is stupid. They’re both stupid, cold, and unmerciful. I hope they go to hell.” I spat out without thinking.
“Evans. Calm.” Dumbledore said.
I wiped away tears. “How can people be so evil?” I whispered to him.
“Evans, I don’t know.” He sounded tired. “People…..” he shook his head. “..have much to learn.”
I let out a sigh, then yawned. Everything began to darken. I felt my head being lifted onto a pillow, and someone lifted a blanket over my body. “The medicine is working again.” He murmured to himself. “Remember, Evans,” I heard his last words to me before I slipped into the realms of sleep. “You’re never alone.”
Chapter 6: Cologne
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A/N: Alrighty, my peeps! I have come to the conclusion that Pomfrey, at Lily’s time, was in her late twenties; hence the girlish talk. That probably clears things up a bit! :) And even if she isn’t…..deal :). I’d like to thank all those who are reading my story! You have absolutely no idea how much I appreciate it. :)
I woke up, opened my eyes, and screamed bloody murder.
Okay, so maybe the screaming was a little bit too dramatic because for all I know, Pomfrey came running in faster than Pettigrew would when there were enchiladas for dinner.
"Evans!” she shrieked. “What’s wrong?” I blinked slowly.
"Um…nothing.” I said, feeling my face heat up. “Nothing’s wrong.”
She huffed. “Evans!” she scolded.
"I know! I know!” I buried my face into the blankets, breathing in deeply and smelling its familiar aroma. Cologne. I thought, confusion washing through my brain. Cologne.
Carefully, I raised my head and tentatively whispered, “Was….” Before trailing off, realizing the stupidity of the question I was going to ask.
"Yes, Evans?” she asked, her back turned to me as she organized some vials.
"Nothing.” I quickly covered.
"Spit it out, Lily, I know something’s bothering you.”
"It’s nothing, I swear.” I protested.
"Lily Evans, just tell me!” she demanded.
"No.” I put my nose in the air. “I will not.”
"Aha!” she exclaimed, grinning widely. “I knew something was bothering you!”
"Wha-what?” I sputtered. “I didn’t say that!”
"Ahh…yes, but when I asked you to tell me, you said you wouldn’t; therefore, something is bothering you!” she said, triumphant.
I stared at her, my mouth open in shock at her clever wit. “You tricked me!” I wailed, diving back into the safety of the blankets.
"Yes I did!” Pomfrey laughed merrily. “Lily, Lily, Lily!”
"Betrayal!” I wailed again. “Betrayed by an apparently “kind” nurse! Absolutely disastrous!”
"Stop your antics, Evans.” She huffed again. “Just tell me what’s bloody wrong!”
"Never!” I bravely rebelled. “Not even if you have to bring James Potter himself in here!”
Pomfrey’s eyes widened. “Aha! So that’s what’s bothering you!”
"What?” I yelled a little too loudly. “What? You’re crazy! Who gave you that absolutely ridiculous idea?” She smirked.
"Ahhh…Evans…” she put her hand to her chest. “Young love!”
"WHAT?” I screamed. “NEVER!”
"I know, I know.” Her eyes twinkled as she smiled. “But he is the reason why, though. He’s bothering you.”
I sat silently. “It’s just that….” I trailed off. “I can smell…”
"Yes, Evans? Yes?” she probed.
"I can smell…” I choked on my words. “Icansmellcologne.” I mumbled.
"Louder, Lily!” she sang.
"I can’t hear you!” she laughed.
"I CAN SMELL JAMES’ COLOGNE!” I yelled.
Her eyes widened. “What?” she exclaimed.
"I know! It’s ridiculous!” I moaned. “But I can! On the blankets! It’s not the first time, either.” I admitted.
"But…Evans!” she cried. “He’s never even been in the hospital wing to visit anybody! But—”
I let out a sob, interrupting her. “I can smell it!” I whimpered. “Pomfrey, I’ve gone mad!”
"Are you feeling alright?” she said incessantly. “Is your head warm? Are you cold? Have you been feeling any symptoms of depression? Or how about allergies? Anything? Or perhaps, maybe—“
"STOP!” I commanded. “You’re making me feel worse.” I put a hand to my forehead.
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, you missed detention last night.” Pomfrey said weakly.
I glared at her. “And I suppose I have to make it up?” I growled. She couldn’t suppress a smile.
"Yuuupp.” She grinned when she saw my expression. “But no worries! Both Black and Potter have an extra three months of detention. Serves them right.” She said in her most victorious voice. I let out a giggle.
"And I do believe that someone actually did come visit you.” Pomfrey slyly added in.
I perked up. “No, no!” she laughed. “Not Potter.” I looked at her curiously.
"Who?” I asked, my eyebrows scrunching together in concentration. "Maddy?” I asked, planning to go up to her and apologize as soon as it was physically possible.
"Oh, she too.” She waved that aside. “But no….a male.”
"Hell!” I cried out. “A male? I thought Potter scared all of them off this very planet!” She grinned.
"Oh, I don’t know.” She pretended to ponder about it. “Very handsome though, and ahh, just dazzling blue eyes that could make someone’s day, gorgeous hair, and to be exact, I’m pretty sure it was a blondish-brown…”
"Pomfrey!” I exclaimed, exasperated. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about!”
She smiled deviously, showing her white, straight teeth. Merlin, what I would do to be beautiful like her.
"I’m talking about a certain Meller, Lily!” Pomfrey’s eyes twinkled, and mine widened.
"No!” I said in disbelief, and she beckoned me closer.
"Oh, yes, Lily.” Her eyebrows did a little dance. “Looks like somebody’s after you now that James Potter is off your track.”
I thought about it. Yes, it was reasonable. Now that Potty boy had gotten himself a girlfriend, all those boys who James had scared off (in other words, he wouldn’t let them within fifty feet of me) were coming back. I shuddered.
"Why the shudder, Evans?” she asked.
"No reason.” I shrugged.
She smirked a knowing smirk. “You sure?”
"Absolutely.” I put my nose in the air and crossed my arms.
"You never had a boyfriend before, have you, Evans?” she whispered as she suppressed a smile.
"Lies!” I protested. “What about..er….um…” my mind went blank. "Thomas!” I weakly covered. (We were “a couple” in kindergarten, but how would Pomfrey know? Thomas could be a bloody model for Merlin’s sake!)
"Nice.” She said sarcastically. “I meant a real boyfriend, not the one that you have fun with for a week, then dump him.”
Merlin, must she knows everything?
She saw the shocked expression on my face and grinned. “Now I know that you only want Potter—“
I choked on my saliva. “Are you kidding me?” I shrieked.
She shrugged. “Still in denial. Back to the topic.” I looked at her, my right eye twitching in disgust. “Now, what I’m saying is that you—yes, you, Lily!—should go and get him.”
"What?” I said sharply, denying it all. “Pomfrey, I have absolutely no idea—“
"I think you do, Evans.” She went back to smirking. “Now, I know that you and James are soul mates and all that—“ I let out a groan. “—but the course of true love never did run smooth.” I stared at her.
"You can’t be serious.” I choked out, my throat tightening.
"Oh, yes I am.” She kept a straight face. “I want you to go and get Meller and make a certain Potter realize how dangerously hard-to-get you are. Make him jealous, Lily girl.”
Chapter 7: Tears
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Incredible CI by aim.moon! :)
I stared at her, open mouthed, eyes wide, red hair covering up half of my face—the entire royal batch of total shock. But of course, like all moments do, it fell apart.
"You’re crazy!” I shrieked, feeling my heart pound furiously. “Why on earth would I want to make Potter jealous? I’m content as I am!”
She sniffed. “Still in denial, aren’t you, Lily?”
"Denial? There’s no denial!” I yelled numbly. “I hate, hate, hate James bloody Potter! And that’s all there is! I have no idea where you got that ridiculous idea, but—“
She sighed, interrupting, then looked at me carefully. “Fine. So you’re just gonna sit around on Hogsmeade day with nobody and let Potter triumph over the fact that no one asked you. Talk about the suicide of your pride, Evans.” She yawned.
I thought for a bit. “What’cha mean?” I asked cautiously.
"I mean that you’re giving him free bait.” She explained. “See? Potter never got you. He snagged some other leggy, tight-skirted, naturally blonde, model-y kinda girl, right?” I clenched my teeth at her last remark.
"Yeah?” I said, pushing her to continue.
"If you just sit around like some mindless idiot, he gets the satisfaction. He thinks that you’re nothing without him. He thinks you’re jealous.” She paused for a moment to watch my expression grow slightly angry. "So you want a way to bother him? Get Meller. Meller can get you in one day, but James never got you, and he’s been trying for—how long again?—I dunno, three years?” she yawned once again and watched the light bulb blink above my head. “It’s a game of pride.”
I had to admit Pomfrey was a bloody genius.
"So you’re saying that if I get Meller, Potter won’t think of me as…weak?” I asked warily, feeling the anger burn in my chest at James’ tactics.
"Exacto!” she cried excitedly. “So you’re going to do it?”
"I’ll..I’ll think about it.” I stammered.
"Good.” She replied, turning away. “That took longer than I thought it would take.” She muttered under her breath. “By tomorrow, I want to see you holding hands with Meller, alright?” she laughed as my eyes widened in horror.
"Pomfrey!” I threw a hospital wing pillow at her as I slid out of bed. "Don’t overdo it!”
"Alright, alright.” She laughed, watching me grin stupidly at her. “But you guys have better be at least throwing flirtatious smiles at each other.”
Needless to say, by the end of that sentence, there were already four pillows on the ground.
I took a deep breath and glanced one last time at the mirror. “You look great, Lily.” Mary MacDonald smiled brilliantly, still holding her wand in her hand.
"It’s all thanks to you, Mary.” I beamed, hugging her tightly. “I’m so worried!” I cried out nervously, plucking at my necklace.
"Stop that.” Mary scolded, putting a hand on her hip. “You’re beautiful, Lily!”
"Yeah, right.” I said sarcastically. “Look at you!” She blushed a light crimson.
"Stop it, Lily.” She giggled. “Just…make him fall heads over heels in love with you, promise?”
I laughed. “I can’t promise.”
Mary rolled her eyes. “Yes, you can. Anybody with common sense would accept you in a heartbeat.”
"But he’s so..he’s so…” I stammered.
"Popular? Gorgeous? Dazzling smile, heart-melting puppy eyes, perfect hair—“
"Mary!” I giggled. “You’re not helping!”
"Well, it’s true.” She sniffed. “He’s beautiful.”
"Oh, yes, well, I’m sorry I took your future husband, Mary.” I said dryly, holding back a grin.
She blushed. “Lily! And no, Lupin is just fine for me.” She protested, her cheeks reddening by the second.
"I know.” I smiled a bit. “How about you go snag him?” I teased.
Her grey eyes widened. “No!” she cried.
"Alright, alright.” I relented. “Take your time, then. Just don’t complain when Lupin asks somebody else out to Hogsmeade.” Mary’s face paled.
"Oh, that would be awful!” she wailed, making me grin.
"Then go ask him.” I winked.
"Oh…alright..” she trailed off, panicking. “But you—“ she said commandingly. “You go up to Meller right now.”
I sniffed. “Fine. But only on the condition that you ask Lupin out.”
"Lily!” she wailed. “But—but..he’s in the common room right now with Sirius! It’s too soon—“
"Go.” I waved her aside, getting out of the chair. She still stood there stiffly. “Go!” I laughed, pushing her towards the common room. “You’re in a way better situation than I am.” I mumbled while smiling, watching her trip over her feet on the stairs.
I slowly made it over to the corridors, my head hanging down in deep thought.
My plan was this: go up to Meller and start a nonchalant conversation.
For example, this:
Me: Hey, Luke?
Luke: Uh, yeah?
Me: Can I talk to you for a second?
Luke: Sure. Why not?
Me: Okay, look, Hogsmeade is coming up….
Luke: (smile) Yeah?
Me: Okay, so I was wondering…if….um……
My mind went blank. I furrowed and tried again, concentrating on the floor.
If…..you were available?
If you wanted to go with me?
"Ow!” I yelled. Suddenly, I was on the ground staring up to some clumsy, no-good, idiotic, gorgeous, blue-eyed….oh.
"Oh. Hi, Luke.” I said weakly, desperately trying to push my untamable hair out of my face.
"So-orry.” He blinked, rubbing the side of his head. “Here.” He awkwardly stuck his hand out for me, and I accepted it. I felt him pull me up, and soon, I was…er, closer to him than I ever really wanted to be. “Um…” he blinked. “Uh….”
Thank you, Pomfrey, for that stupid, ridiculous, totally bobonkers idea.
"Uh…I—I probably should go.” I felt heat rush to my cheeks, and I turned around rapidly.
He grabbed my hand.
I slowly looked behind my shoulder.
"Um…” he laughed a little. “Uh…you look..um…amazing…uh.. today.” He said the last group of words so swiftly that they sounded combined. Luke looked down at his hand, blushed, and let go of my wrist to shove his hands in his pockets.
I smiled, feeling the tension leave me. “Thanks.” I grinned shyly. He smiled nervously back. We stood there in awkward silence before collapsing onto the floor in laughter.
"Smooth pick up line.” I teased, nudging him. His eyes twinkled kindly.
"It was the only thing that came to my mind.” He retorted slyly.
"Suave.” I giggled. “Totally. I believe it.”
Luke’s face became more serious. “It’s true.” He said bluntly. “You’re beautiful.”
"Huh.” I said dryly. “Define beautiful. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t mean some red-headed, fiery-tempered, cheeky, clumsy, extremely socially awkward—“
"You are not socially awkward.” He interrupted, biting his lip sadly. When I looked at him curiously at his depressed expression, he shrugged and said, “James Potter.”
"Oh.” I answered. “I have no attractions to him. At. All.” I sniffed. “In other words, I loathe him.”
"Oh.” His smile returned. “I just thought…”
"That we had something going.” I replied wryly. “You are really blind, Luke.”
"I am not!”
"Yes you are!”
"Yes you—“ I was cut off when he placed his lips softly on mine. I melted into him, feeling the warmth of his lips. Then, his lips left, and disappointment washed through me.
"I’m..” Luke’s eyes widened. “I’m so, so, so, so, so sorry—I had no idea what happened, oh my gosh—“
"Luke Meller!” I yelled, making him flinch. “I hate you!”
"I’m..I’m so sorry—“ he tried, but this time, I interrupted him.
I pressed my lips against his, and I saw his eyes widen in shock.
"Why did you end that kiss so early?” I whispered. He smiled lopsidedly. "You’re evil.” He murmured into my ear. I closed my eyes and put my head on his shoulders, and after a while, I felt his arm wrap around me, holding me close. It was bliss the way he held me, the feeling of belonging, the passion, the fluttering butterflies in my stomach. Only one thing was out of place, only one thing kept bothering me in the very back of my mind: Potter.
"Well!” I heard someone’s snide and delighted voice. “Well!” My eyes opened in a flash, and Luke’s arm dropped back down to his side.
"Well, Evans.” Sirius smirked. “I didn’t expect you to be here.”
"What do you—“ I trailed off for a bit when I saw James standing behind Black. My throat tightened, and my heart pounded. “—do you want?” I finished off weakly. I felt tears threaten to form in my eyes when James stared coldly at me in disgust. A flashback of James just standing there while everybody laughed at me came to my mind. Anger surged through me.
"Really, James.” I spat out vehemently, snarling viciously. “I don’t see how you have any form of authority to glare at me like that.” I punched the wall and felt satisfaction tingle through me when Potter’s eyes widened. “I don’t believe you did anything on that day, did you?” I yelled. Luke put a hand on my shoulder, and I saw James’ eyes drift there for a moment before snapping back in place.
"I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said nastily.
"Oh, do you?” I screamed, pain ripping at me like claws. “Are you sure you don’t remember that day when I was sent to the hospital wing? Or were you too busy playing around with your new girl who you’re just going to break into pieces?” As I spoke, the more livid and louder I became. Luke tried to stop me by putting a firm grasp on both my arms. I pushed him away. “Is that it?” I shrieked. “It was all a game, wasn’t it?” A group of curious students looked on as my screaming got louder. "It was just all lies, wasn’t it?” I yelled, forcing him to answer. He stared on, his lips slightly parted. “Wasn’t it?” I screeched. He still didn’t answer, and I hurled myself at him.
"Lily!” Luke tried pulling me back, but I violently elbowed him away. "Lily, stop it!” A whole mob was now watching. “Lily!”
"Lils?” I heard someone gasp from the crowd. “Lils! Stop! Stop!” From the corner of my eyes, I saw someone push through the crowd to join Meller try to calm me down.
"Let go of me!” I screamed at no one in particular. “Ugh!” I whipped out my wand, trying to aim it at Potter.
"What the hell is wrong with you?” he yelled.
"What the hell is wrong with you?” I shouted back.
"Me? ME?” he yelled. “WHAT DID I DO?”
"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!” I accused.
"JUST. SHUT. UP!” he roared.
"DON’T YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP!” I screamed at him. James glared at me, and I could see hate burning in those hazel so strongly that I stopped yelling. My heart stopped, and fear swept through me.
"Mudblood.” He snarled. “You’re unworthy of walking on this very planet. You’re unworthy to be a witch. You have absolutely no purpose in this world.” As soon as he finished, his eyes widened. I blanched violently and took a step back. Gasps rang around the hallways. Tears began pressing at my eyelids as memories engulfed me. I let myself consider the two choices: do what I wanted to do, which was sob and scream at him, OR do what I didn’t want to do, which was say something just as nasty and cold.
There wasn’t anything that was as nasty and cold as his remarks.
I didn’t want to cry and scream in front of him.
"Fine.” I said coldly, all traces of tears disappearing as if from magic. "Fine. You—“ I stopped when I saw a flash of somebody blonde curly hair zoom past me and slap Potter on the face. Hard.
"Ow!” he yelled, holding his cheek. “What in the world?”
"Don’t you talk to her like that.” Madeleine ordered viciously, dusting her hands off and staring at him with abhor. She turned around swiftly, helped Meller push me through the crowd, and said quietly, “Come on, Lils. Let’s go.”
All the tears that I didn’t let fall flooded down my face.
James Potter would never see me cry.
Chapter 8: Brewing
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"Bloody hell, Lily!” Mary shrieked loudly as soon as I entered, capturing everybody’s attention in the common rooms. “What in the name of Merlin happened to you?”
"Hell!” Alice Longbottom screeched. “Bloody Merlin of Christmas past, is that you?”
I could feel everybody’s fixed stares on me.
"Long story.” Madeleine explained quickly, ushering me to the couch, where I collapsed dazedly. I had stopped crying a few minutes ago, and all the anger had dissolved into agonizing pain. I stared up stupidly at the crowd surrounding me, and they stared back until Meller cleared his throat awkwardly and said, “Um, you know what? Maybe it’d be better if…if I go.” His voice cracked as he choked out the last few words.
I don’t know what came over me, but I jumped up, used both hands to pull his collar towards me, and leaned in for a lingering kiss that made my knees turn weak. I felt a tremor run down my spine, but I wasn’t sure if it was in a good or bad way. I was drinking in everything about him—his soft lips, his hand on my back, his warm breath, his sweet aroma. When I finally let go of his shirt, the kiss had seemed to last a century, but I knew that in reality, it was only a few seconds.
"Don’t go.” My voice came out weak and wobbly. “Please, don’t leave me.” I didn’t care that people were staring at me and hanging on to every word I spoke. My body shook with desperate fear. “Promise you’ll never leave me.” I stared up at him, tears filling my eyes and pain carving a large, gaping hole in my chest.
"I promise.” He whispered, leaning in for another kiss. This time, though, I didn’t hold back my tears—I let them cascade down my cheeks down to my lips. I tasted the salty mixture on my tongue and pulled back. “I promise.” He said again, his voice dropping. "I’ll never let you go.”
There was a slight shuffling sound to the right of me. I whipped around and crumbled down to the ground. Several onlookers helped me regain my footing, but I didn’t look at their faces. Hazel eyes met my green ones for a millisecond, only for the connection to be broken moments later. I blinked, and he was gone.
Madeleine’s sweet voice brought me back to reality. “Lily?” she whispered.
"Yes?” I replied softly, still not turning around. I was clutching my hand so hard that my nails dug into my flesh.
"Lily..” she trailed off. “Okay, guys.” She turned towards the crowd. "Everybody, out.” Madeleine ordered.
When everybody left and the common room was quiet once more, she began talking. "Oh, lily.” She gave me a tight hug and I returned it.
"Why did he do it?” my voice was wobbly and unsure. “Why?”
"Oh, Lily, not even Merlin knows why.” Her voice faltered a bit like she was telling a lie, but I made no comment.
"He promised he wouldn’t.” I whispered softly. “I guess that’s James Player Potter for me.”
"Oh, Lily.” She gave my hand a reassuring pat. “You, yourself, know how bad he probably feels right now.”
"He feels fine.” I stated flatly. “He’s probably with her right now.” She flinched slightly. I didn’t ask why.
"Do you still want to know who she is?” she asked, veering away from the topic.
"No.” I replied dryly. “It doesn’t matter now.”
"It mattered before, didn’t it?” she asked quietly, but I didn’t respond. She took a deep breath and let it out.
"Lily, I know that this seems unbelievable, but I really think James still likes you.”
Sudden anger washed over me. “Bullshit!” I yelled. “Just because he thinks he’s the king of the world, it doesn’t mean that he can push people down to get where he wants to go! He does NOT care for me anymore, and I don’t either. He can’t just use two people at one time, and watch the other get crushed! I hope he drops dead!” I ran out of the room, rage burning in my stomach. I knew that I wasn’t angry at Madeleine, but at James, but I still didn’t go back to apologize.
Once I was in the dorms, on my bed, I replayed the entire day’s occurrences in my head and felt the burning sensation of fury intensify to the feeling of deep hate.
Why should I just stand here like a stupid idiot? I growled in my head. Why am I not doing anything while he chops me down?
Thoughts ran through my head for another hour, but they were all linked to the same idea: Revenge.
I am a sodding idiot.
"Stop that!” Aida growled at me, pointing to my eyebrows.
"Shut up, Aida.” I growled right back. “You have no authority whatsoever to tell me how my face should be expressing.” I continued glaring at the wall.
"Oh, but yes I do.” She snarled. “Or do I need to remind you of your…?”
"Hell, shut up already.” I yelled. “I’ve got enough going on in my life other than your stupid price.”
"I’m the one helping you here.” She retorted furiously. “Sometimes, I don’t even know why I agreed to your idiotic plan.”
"Liar.” I grumbled. “Sirius this, Sirius that, oh, Sirius’ eyes are so—“
"Shut up!” she yelped, covering my mouth up quickly, her cheeks heating up to a dark pink.
"Well, it’s true.” I said nastily.
She stared at me for a while. “You’ve been getting more and more emotional, now, haven’t you?” she muttered.
"Shut up. I’ve got a lot of things going on in my life.” I said through gritted teeth. Aida started grinning.
"Oh, yes, Merlin, how bloody stupid of me! Lily this, Lily that, Lily’s new boyfriend..” she cried out passionately in a sing-song voice.
"Close your hole in your face.” I ordered maliciously. “You have no idea what’s been going on in my life.”
Aida knelt down and stared directly into my eyes and smirked. “Aw, is somebody jeeeaaaloouuss?” she mocked me.
"Aida!” I pushed her away, and she giggled.
"Well, you are.” She contemplated it in her head. “Luke Meller, huh? Wow. You’ve got some competition!” she cackled.
"Oh, be quiet.” I muttered crossly. “I can’t see why she would even like him…”
"Ooh! Jealousy!” she laughed. “And excuse me? Luke Meller is a sexy beast.” She cleared her throat meaningfully and added, “Unlike someone I know.” She wiggled her eyebrows.
"Aida, you are officially a dead banana peel.”
"I thought I already was a dead banana peel.”
"Don’t be so annoying.”
"Don’t be so grumpy.”
I let out a furious groan. “Just leave me alone, would’ya?” I glared pointedly at the carpet.
"Fine.” She sniffed disdainfully. “I’m going to go take a walk with Sirius…” she let out a pathetic, love-struck sigh. “Oh, Sirius, Aida’s coming…”
I threw a pillow at her, but smiled nonetheless.
"Hurry up and catch up to him before he starts snogging random girls in the hallway.” I teased, partly serious.
She let out a frantic yelp and ran out the dorm’s doors, leaving me laughing like a mindless buffoon.
"And don’t forget to kick Luke for me.” I added in silently, feeling my spirits brighten. “Never forget to kick Luke for me.”
A/N: Hello, hello! ^^ I know this chapter is….different, to say the least, but not to worry, everything will become clear! :D Leave a review and tell me what you think! ;) Criticism welcome :)