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Letters to L.C. by ScarletRoses

Format: Novel
Chapters: 32
Word Count: 120,779

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genres: Humor, Romance
Characters: Lupin, James, Lily, Sirius, Regulus, OC, OtherCanon
Pairings: Sirius/OC, James/Lily, OC/OC, Remus/OC

First Published: 10/19/2011
Last Chapter: 10/25/2015
Last Updated: 10/25/2015


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I knew I should have thrown away the first letter when it came. Who would write a love letter to Loony Lenny Crowley? Sirius Black, that's who. He's just as loony as me, I swear! Don't you worry, Black thinks he's writing to a gorgeous girl who will fall head over heels in love with him just because the "stars say they are destined". Pfft. As if.

Chapter 1: Gryffindor's Insane Girl
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Should I start this off with a love quote? Say what I’m like? Tell you my life story?

Okay, I can’t do that. I’m not that abstract. I mean, maybe I should introduce myself and tell you who I am and everything, but… I don’t really know where to begin.


We can start with my name, I suppose. It’s Lenny. Lenora, really, but I don’t allow people to call me that. Not even professors

When I’m writing this, I want you to imagine it with a British accent, because yes, I am British. I was born and raised in the great old England. We have a Queen and all that good stuff. Even a few princes!  And where have I gone to school for the years of my schooling?



Hogwarts of course.


Now, I was nothing special. Sure, a Gryffindor, but I wasn’t that pretty, girly Gryffindor that everyone associated Gryffindor girls with. Why do people do that anyways? Stupid sterotypes. This is the reason people are stick skinny and wear too much make up.

 I’m ordinary I guess one could say. I’ve got the brown hair, the brown eyes, and the average body. Nothing about me stands out. Not a single damn thing.



So why, one may ask, am I even the one talking to you?


Well… I guess it’s because no one dreams of being almost remembered.


This is my story. Of me being remembered.


Hi, I’m Lenora Crowley and I suppose this is the part where I tell you my story. The wacked up one that it is. Sit back and relax. You're in for a good surprise. Get your popcorn now.





“You have to dive, Lenny! Not fall from your broom!” James Potter shouted at me as I laid in a crumbled heap on the ground.


No matter if I was hurt or anything. I just messed up a dive. That’s all Quidditch freak Potter cared about.


I had to force myself up because I knew Potter’s face would be giving me a murderous stare a few feet above me. I was tempted to play dead, but knew Potter would throw me back on my broom all the same. All he bloody cared about was having someone guarding the hoops at this rate.


“Yes, because falling off my broom mid-dive was intended.” I mumbled, walking towards my broom a few feet away from me and mounting it again.



“If we plan on beating Ravenclaw-“



“I better get my act together, yeah? I’ve heard you say that about 3 times this practice and all throughout the summer practices.” I told him. Bloody summer practices had nearly made my arms fall off. Who needs a keeper who can do fifty push-ups? Gryffindor shouldn't.



Was I really that weak of a player? I shook the thought from my head. If I could stom away, I would….but I was already up in the air. I'd look rather ridiculous if I tried.


“Do you want the Ravenclaws to outsmart you? It’s not all that hard, Lenny!” James shouted after me as I returned to the goal posts.



“Let them! It means you lose too!” I shouted back. James glared in my direction and immediately set out to throwing the quaffle slightly out of my reach.



“Dive!” He demanded. I groaned, but dropped the front of my broomstick in a dive.


And crashed.







“That boy will be the death of you!” Madam Pomfrey hissed, touching a very sensitive black eye with her green goo. I winced away, but she only tutted me, grabbing onto my face to hold it still.



“Well, it hurts!” I countered, gritting my muscles as she dabbed the remaining green goo on.



It was only the first month in and I had already been to the Hospital Wing 7 times. I think that’s a record. Five were because of James Potter’s drills at practice and two because I had had bad run-ins with a few Slytherins.



They just can't take a joke. think they're funny.They obviously don't.


“I swear if I see you in here again before Christmas, I will place a safe charm on you!” Pomfrey screeched, grabbing onto my dislocated shoulder.


“What are you doing?!” I asked her as she looked like she was ready to pull my whole arm off.


“I’m putting the shoulder back into place. It’s easier than all the potions it would take and it won’t keep you in my hospital wing over night!” Madam Pomfrey said, making me bite on a cloth.



I could already see this wasn't going to be good.



Without warning, I let out a loud shriek in pain as she shoved my shoulder straight at me. It felt as though she were breaking the bone, not putting everything back into place. It was an instant fire that shot up my arm, but oddly, it felt slightly better.



“All better!” She said, as though my shriek had brought joy to her.




Evil, sadistic woman.


“Off you go, Ms. Crowley!” She said, almost shoving me from the room.


Great. At least someone cares.



Have I mentioned I am very sarcastic? If not, I'm doing so right here, so no blaming me if you do not understand my jokes. Everyone should understand my bloody jokes. They're funny!


I’m a lot of things actually. Don’t worry though, one of them is not insane…at least my insanity isn’t diagnosed…yet. I’ve had people threat to have that changed, however. That's not my fault though! People should really consider just not listening to my ramble. Even when I try to be sane, it comes out wrong.


“Watch it!” The red-haired Head girl shouted at me. She straightened out her skirt as if I had actually made a wrinkle it. Ha. That'd be odd if just someone bumping into you could get you a wrinkle in your clothing. I stared at her skirt for an extra second, just to see if it actually had made a wrinkle in it.



I snapped my head up to see her staring at me, her expression already showing how insane she thought I was. Can't say I didn't recognize the look.



“Right, sorry. Lowly Gryffindor can’t watch where she’s going. I’ll remember to watch my body and make sure it doesn’t wander off without me next time.” I rambled. Lily Evans looked at me from down her nose as she raised her eyebrows.



“I didn’t…oh nevermind.” She said, pushing past me and continuing on her rounds. I shrugged. Was it something I said?


I was never the social butterfly that I’m supposed to be. Whenever I open my mouth, a bunch of weird words come out. They never even make sense to me in my own head. Well, sometimes they did, but then I got sidetracked by something else and some weird babble came out of my mouth.



Maybe I should just diagnose my own self with insanity. Probably work out the best.



Being the weird Gryffindor I was (I’m really not that weird!) I didn’t tend to have a lot of friends. Merlin, even the Head Girl couldn’t find any bit of pity for me! Okay, so the only friend I had was myself…and possibly my twin sibling. He didn’t count, though! I think my own friendship counted as about three people.


Three friends were enough, right?



No one ever has paid me much attention at Hogwarts. If people even know my name, they thought I was a guy. If people knew my face, they just remembered I was Teddy’s twin. If they knew both…well, then they knew me as that insane Gryffindor girl. I didn’t have a true name. Nor did I really care for one. Why try looking for one when I only had a year left?

I was good company anyways.



So maybe Astronomy class wouldn’t change without me. If I didn’t have a name, who would know if I showed up or not? I could sleep through it tonight. Plus, if it weren’t for Potter, I shoulder wouldn’t be throbbing right now.


Stupid Pothead and him wanting to win Quidditch every year.


I wonder if he smokes that illegal substance...that would make his nickname have more effect. I giggled to myself. I was funny sometimes.





The Gryffindor table was always pretty deserted in the morning, so I couldn’t say I felt lonely when I didn’t have anyone sitting around me. Fine by me, more space and food to myself.


I love food. I would marry it if I could. I stared down at a buscuit, wondering if it could love me the way I loved it. I doubt it, since I planned on eating it. No bother, I'd find love in a different food item.



I went to grab a biscuit when another hand reached out and grabbed it before me.


“Oi! I was going to shove that in my mouth!” I yelled, not really registering my words. I looked up to see someone who looked all too much like me. I had to do a slight double take.


Too early for this kind of confusion.


My brother and I were twins with almost every feature the same. We had the same dark brown wavy hair, the same dark brown eyes, the same oval shaped face, and even the same dimples. Sure, he was a little more built than me, but I blame that on me being a girl. Stupid girl genes. I wished I was the strong one.



“Oh so tragic you didn’t get to stuff your face.” Teddy said sarcastically, taking the seat opposite me. Perfect place for me to glare at him. Ha.


I wasn't the dumb one, he was.


“So I didn’t see you in Astronomy last night.” Teddy started, looking over a cup of pumpkin juice at me. Such a Ravenclaw.


“No, I guess you didn’t.” I said back, giving him an identical look over my own pumpkin juice. Or at least I felt like it was an identical look.

Can't be that far off when we are twins, right?


“Did you really skip, Lenny? It was an important lesson!” He scolded me, rolling his eyes. I only rolled my own eyes back. Again, such a Ravenclaw. I need to bring him out more.


To where, I have no idea. Oooo Hogsmeade sounds like a good idea. I could go for some chocolate.



“Every lesson is important to you, Ted.” I told him, watching as a few more people filed into the Great Hall. 




“And it should be to you, but don’t worry, I took the liberty of getting an extra assignment for you.” He slammed a roll of parchment in front of me before I could even react. I jumped slightly, tucking the roll into my bag.

Maybe it would disappear in the mess I called my bag. Maybe the bag monsters would eat it. I swear, there are monsters in there! I reach in one time to get a book (worst mistake ever) and I felt something bite me. I came out with a cut on my finger!

I swear, it was in the shape of a fang. 

I disregarded the ink and piece of glass that was stuck in my finger. 

The glass was a fang, I swear!

“Oh how sweet. Want me to actually do it, then?” I asked sarcastically to which he nodded his head.


Blood didn’t mean that you picked up on each other’s sarcasm. We didn’t have much of a twin connection.


Sometimes I wish we did. We could to some telepathic magic, not this stuff with our wands. We could be magical in the magic world! I could tell him to hand me the toast. Let's try it!

Hand me the toast, Thedore....



“I expect you to do it, Len. Or I can easily owl Mom and let her know her little angel isn’t getting the O’s she forges.” Teddy smirked at me. He handed me the plate of toast, not even looking up. 

"DId you hear that? What I just thought?" I asked him, ignoring his comment to tattle on me. 
"What are you talking about, Lenny?" Teddy asked, but I was interupted from answering.


“Oh Teddy!” A blonde haired girl came bouncing over towards us. When I say bouncing, I literally do mean that. It was as though her shoes were made of balloons and everything else was flopping along as well. 


I imagined her in a bouncy room, as though she were a part of it. I let a small laugh escape my lips at the image. Everything would be an assortment of colors and she wouldn't even have her same face, because I don't like how pigs look...

“Debbie.” Teddy said, his voice low and uninterested. Even I could catch on to a subtle hint like that, but Debbie obviously didn’t as she sat down next to him.

“Oh uhm… Hi.” She said, looking at me, not sure if she was supposed to throw me a bone or greet me. 
This always amused me. Girls loved Teddy for some reason or another. He actually liked some of them, but when he introduced them to me, they ran running for the hills. Something about having the insane girl at the school as your sister just didn’t seem right to them.
"I’m Lenny. His sister. You know, the Gryffindor’s insane girl.” I said, extending my hand. She studied it, not sure if she should shake it. I resisted oinking at her. Maybe she would understand that better.

I saw her face turning as pink as a pig's skin and her body getting chubbier. My face grew into a wider smile. I probably looked more insane now.

“I thought they said you were sent to St. Mungo’s insane ward.” She mumbled, watching me retract my hand. Ouch. That one stung a bit, but an interesting rumor all the same.


“They actually haven’t deemed me insane enough yet.” I told her, shrugging.

I begin to dip my bread into my pumpkin juice. Before I had a chance to look up, she was gone. I looked at Teddy who had a grin plastered on his face and was shaking his head.

“What did I say?” I asked him, looking around for her.


I double checked under the table in case she turned into her true form and was oinking at my feet. Just in case. 


“You always say the wrong thing, Lenny.” Teddy said with a laugh.



In my defense, I don’t really know what I say that’s so offensive. Maybe it’s just my face or something. I’ve heard faces can scare people off pretty good.


“So, any word yet, Ted?” Sirius Black in all of his glory came towards our conversation. Great, more interruptions.


Sure, Sirius Black was beyond gorgeous, but to say he even knew my name would be something that I hadn’t ever bothered to know. Probably did since he insulted me all the time, but I wasn't too bothered by it. He was pretty good mates with Teddy, though.


I glanced at the bacon and glanced around again for Teddy's admirerer. I suddenly felt guilty eating the bacon. I took it off my plate.


“No, mate. Haven’t seen this L.C girl yet. No one comes to mind?” Teddy asked him as Sirius took the seat next to him.


“No and I have Peter going around the whole school!” Sirius ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He didn’t give me a second look. He did our third year when he had become friends with Teddy, asking me some polite questions, which I apparently gave the wrong answers to.


Then he proceeded to ask where the bloody hell I came from.


I gave him an in-depth description of it. 


Maybe he shouldn’t have asked!


“You’re having him look through ugly girls too, right?” Teddy joked. Sirius’s face paled at the mere thought. All I could do was snort into my pumpkin juice.


Sirius would never consider anything related with an ugly girl. Some ugly girls had good traits, though! They looked like animals. Like that pig girl! She was cute in her own way.


“Bloody hell, no!” Sirius said as though it were a crime. Remus Lupin took the seat next to me, a small smile on his face, but not addressing me directly.


He had always learned to keep his distance, but to be nice about it. Remus could be a bear. Not the big scary ones in the wild, but the ones you cuddle with at night. He kinda looked like his hair would be soft like a teddy bears. I had to hold my hand in my seat to keep from touching it.



“Alright, I figured out what you’re going to do, Padfoot,” Remus told Sirius, grabbing out a piece of parchment and laying it out in front of him. I took a quick peek to it to see if there was anything interesting on it.


Alas, it was blank.


“You want me to write L.C a letter?” Sirius asked.


“Exactly, mate. How many people with the initials L.C are at Hogwarts? Have an owl send the letter to anyone with those initials. They’re sure to meet you once they find out it’s you.” Remus told him. Sirius’s face lit up with excitement at the idea.



“I know I wouldn’t.” I mumbled. Seemingly, it wasn’t a mumble. And all the eyes turned towards me. I need to learn to control the volume in my voice.


“Good thing it wouldn’t be you.” Sirius hissed at me. I blinked at him, not phased in the least. People always made that kind of comment towards me. He’d have to do better than that.



Sirius got up from his seat, followed by Remus who shot both Teddy and me apologetic smiles.



Sirius looked like a puppy. I imagined a tail coming out of his behind as he walked away. I giggled. That was probably why he was so crabby, it was stuck up there.



“How about that time, did I say something wrong that time?” I asked, actually feeling as though that conversation had went by pretty well.


“Yes.” Teddy said simply.


I groaned. Was I really that socially awkward? Maybe it wasn’t just my fault, maybe everyone else had problems too and their problems just clashed with my own problems.


If that makes any sense.


Which it probably doesn’t.



Then again, does anything really make that much sense nowadays? It never makes sense in my head either way.

Chapter 2: Eat your Toe
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I just didn’t get it. I stared down at the homework in front of me and sighed. How was I supposed to even do this strange calculation? I thought this was Astronomy, not Arithmacy. Bollucks. And how in the world am I supposed to get letters out of it?!


I guess I probably looked a little disturbed. Whenever I get stressed or don’t understand something, I need to chew on something. My nails were normally my chew toy, but since they were already nubs, my quill seemed pretty desirable. I think I must have had a feather on me when Remus Lupin glanced at me, his eyebrows almost touching. I’m sure he was having an internal battle as to ask me what was going on.


Except now my face itched. I really think I have a feather around my mouth, particularly close to my nose. If I just grabbed at my face, I’m sure I’d look more insane than Remus thought me to be. So I just tried to twitch it off my face. At first it was just scrunching my nose, but then my mouth started pursing as I tried to rid myself of that feather.


“Are you alright?” Remus asked, trying his best not to make me sound mental.


“I can’t get this damn feather off of my bloody face!” I growled, finally raising my hand to my face and trying to brush it away to no avail.


“What feather?” Remus asked.


Oh great. Now was I not only insane, I was now hallucinating things. Real good for my non-existent reputation. Bugger.


“What do you want?” I asked, now irritated that there was no feather on my face. I still felt that tickle beneath my nose, however. Maybe I was hallucinating things.


“Excuse me?” Remus asked.


Great, was I imagining him staring at me earlier, too?


“You were…watching me bite my quill.” I said. “Though I could be imagining it. Like that bloody feather.”


“Uhm….you just look like you’re having some trouble with your homework.” Remus said, gesturing to the roll in front of me.

Right, that was what got that damn imaginary feather beneath my nose in the first place.


“Right! Well…I wasn’t in Astronomy the other day and Teddy got my homework for me. Not a single clue how I’m supposed to do it. I was contemplating throwing it in the fire, but I think Teddy put a charm on it so I can’t…” And believe me, I’d tried already.


“The Astronomy assignment? It’s just an equation, really.” Remus said, moving from his spot on the armchair and over to me.


“I feel like nargles ate my brain out. I have no idea how I’m supposed to get two lousy letters.” I mumbled. He looked at what I already had and let out a small laugh.


“Well, let’s go look at your constellation, shall we?” Remus said, getting up from his seat and heading over towards the window. “Some people weren’t lucky enough to be able to see their constellation since it wasn’t their time around. Luckily for you, Cancer occurred not too long ago and should still be up there.”


I stared at the sky and all I saw was nothing. Sure, a bunch of twinkling stars, but that’s all it looked like. I never understood how people played connect the dots with the stars. I preferred to pretend the stars were people, some closer than others. I had even found myself one night in the sky, an extra bright star, but one that seemed to be alone in the sky. I named it Lenny Jr. L.J. for short.


“So you just have to plug in your coordinates of your head star along with your birth date. I personally think it’s a load of rubbish, this whole mate thing, but it’s proven by Astrologists, so who am I to argue?” Remus rambled. He wrote down the coordinates for me, letting me do the rest.


When Teddy had given me the assignment, I didn’t know what to do with it, honestly. When I didn’t understand it, I had wanted to throw it in the fire or eat it, but the parchment wouldn’t allow me to.


That’s when I had read the instructions Teddy scribbled across the top: This equation is proven by countless magical Astrologists to find the initials of your future mate. It is, however, open to error, but it is 99% effective.


I thought I’d come up with something actually realistic. Like the word “Pony”. Who wouldn’t want to marry a pony anyways? You wouldn’t have to walk for the rest of your life, because your husband would feel obligated to let you ride on him wherever you went. Even when you gained that extra 30 lbs after being married, he wouldn’t care, because he’s strong and will carry you anyways.


It seemed more promising than a human.


“It’s what Sirius was talking about earlier. He got the initials L.C. No one could figure out who it was, so he decided to write her a letter.” Remus was still talking, though I was barely paying attention.


“Thanks for helping me, Remus. I think I can get it from here.” I told him, trying to smile at him. He returned it (thank Merlin my smile looked normal).


“I’m going to head off to bed. Goodnight, Lenny.” Remus said, before disappearing up the boy’s staircase.


I continued to sit by the window, finding my lone star. It looked so lonely, I suddenly felt bad for it. I wanted to hop up into the sky and join it. There was only one star even remotely close to it. It was almost as bright as my star, but had a bunch of other stars hanging around it. Bloody popular star.


A tap on the window made me fall flat onto the floor. My head hit an end table, a throb throwing itself into my head. I looked up to see a jet black owl hooting outside on the ledge. Damn owl, what did it want this late at night?!


I opened the window, very carefully. Owls and I didn’t get along well. They liked to bite my finger as though it were their chew toy. I hid beneath the end table I had just hit my head on, in hopes that the owl would just leave.


Luckily, it did. I sighed in relief and looked up from my spot to see a letter sitting there, a seal on it with the initials L.C written across it.


Well, I’m Lenny Crowley, right? I’m assuming the owl meant to leave this for me. I picked it up and teared it open, not expecting to receive what was before my eyes.


Dear L.C,


I’ve been searching for you high and low, but I can’t seem to find out who you are. I’m sure you’ve heard of the Astronomy problem that happened to all 7th years. I just so happened to come up with your initials.

I would love to put a name to a face. Can we meet some time?



Sirius Black


I frowned down at the paper. A person who constantly tried to avoid me like the plague thought we were meant to be together? I nearly laughed myself into hysterics.


This was funny. Sirius Black had gone almost as mental as me. People thought I was the crazy one? Wait until they got a load of this.


That was when I looked back to my homework to see the equation already done in Remus’ neat handwriting. Maybe he should take up being a writer and just write with a quill his entire life, that’s how neat it was.


I couldn’t ignore the letters at the bottom of the page, something that he had underlined.






It would just be my horrible luck. I need a sweet or something. The taste in my mouth was horribly bitter.


I took out a piece of parchment from my bag (praying to Merlin the monsters didn’t try to eat my hand) and started to write back:


Sirius Black,

Go die in a hole. Better yet, eat your toe. I’m sure you’d think it was scrumptious, since you already think so highly of yourself.


It’s better if my identity were a secret.


Not so sincere,



I looked around me, as though the owl would appear out of thin air again. No such luck. I stared down at my folded letter that I had taken to write S.B as the seal and had no idea what to do with it.


Maybe I should feed it to the fire. That would be lovely. Then I would never have to deal with Sirius Black, the boy who thought so lowly of me.

Then again, who didn’t think lowly of me? It’s not my fault that I talk without thinking. It’s also not my fault that words just flow out of my mouth. Weird ones. Very weird ones.


That’s when I made one of the dumbest decisions of my life. I climbed the boy’s staircase quietly and slipped the letter under the 7th year boy’s door.


At the time, I had thought no harm in making that bloody smirk wipe right off of Sirius Black’s face. It might even be enjoyable. I’ll have to enjoy the scene at breakfast with toast and pumpkin juice. Delicious.


I just didn’t think of what the consequences might be.



I had woken up early, just incase the Marauders decided to go down to breakfast at any unreasonable time. Which they didn’t. I had to sit with my toast and pumpkin juice for nearly a half hour while waiting. It’s alright though, the more pumpkin juice that the toast absorbed, the better.


Toast was like a sponge, it just ate the pumpkin juice until there was no more room within it’s body to hold it. It was always the best tasting whenever every nook and cranny within the toast’s core was full of pumpkin juice.


When they came in, Sirius looked extremely disheveled. His face was set in a frown and didn’t seem to be talking to the other Marauders. They all sat down, not too far away from me. I felt like an evil mistress, but I smiled all the same and made sure I looked nonchalant as I tried to listen to their conversation.


“What’d it even say, mate?” James asked in hushed tones.


Hehe, he didn’t know the hushed tones weren’t hushed enough.


“She told me to eat my toe.” Sirius grumbled. All of his mates held back a laugh.


I wondered if Sirius actually had tried to eat his toe. I hope he found out it’s not the appetizing. Believe me, I’ve tried.


“So she’s still a mystery girl, huh?” Remus asked, but I couldn’t help notice his eyes flicked down to me.

Bollucks, Remus Lupin knew I was L.C. I didn’t really think about it before, but he was the one who did the equation for me. Of course he would know. I had silently hoped he was obliviated last night.


“More a mystery than ever and she apparently hates me! What have I ever done to a girl to make her hate me?” Sirius asked, but I already knew the answer.


“If you haven’t noticed, you think all girls should kiss your buttocks and carve your name into the ground.” I said, not noticing I had let my mouth open before it was too late.


Sirius’s cold eyes landed straight on me, noticing me sitting there for the first time. “Crowley, mind your own business.”


“Watch it, Black. That’s my sister.” Teddy had joined us, taking the seat that was in between me and the Marauders.


I envisioned Teddy in a shiny armored suit. He wielded a sword and I called him my protector. He saved me from unwantend cold glares and kept up a strong front. Knight Teddy…that didn’t sound right. Knight Theodore. There you go.


“Sorry, mate. I’m just a little irked this morning. L.C wrote me back. Wasn’t too pleasant.” Sirius mumbled, taking my letter out of his pocket and handing it to Teddy.


Teddy scanned the paper, his brow furrowing. He looked like a catapillar had landed on his forehead and he was just realizing it now. I giggled to myself and soaked another piece of toast. .


“This kinda sounds like…like…” I watched as Teddy looked directly at me, his eyes freezing in realization.


Oh darn, I was never good at this game. I could never look serious when I needed to. My face normally gave away everything. I needed to get his attention away from me. So I did the only thing I could do.


Threw my piece of soaked toast.


Just my luck, it slapped Sirius right in his face. Fantastic for our relationship, right?


It was kind of funny though. Sirius had let out an extremely girly shriek when the toast hit his face. It seemed to stick there, not wanting to get off of his face. Good toast. Shield me from Sirius’s cold glares.


He ripped it off of his face, revealing a very red-faced Sirius Black. I just gaped, not sure if the words that would come out of my mouth could make the situation any better. When did that ever stop me before?


“You look like a tomato…not an ugly tomato! A cute tomato? No, Lenny, that’s pushing it-er… would sorry suffice here or should I just not say a single word?” I kept my mouth going, unable to control it.


“Shut up, Lenny.” Teddy said, shaking his head at me once more. Except this time, I wasn’t being quite comical.


“I could kill you, Crowley.” Sirius growled, grabbing a napkin viciously.


“But… you won’t… because Potter would kill you if he was without a keeper before we play Ravenclaw.” I tried. Would he really kill me? Was he capable of doing that? Well, his family had a history of doing that, so maybe he wouldn’t hesitate.


Realization started to dawn to me. He was going to kill me! Who was I supposed to say goodbye to? Teddy?


“Lenny, he’s not going to kill you.” Teddy whispered to me. It must have been just as apparent on my face as it was in my head.


“I’m leaving, anyways.” I whispered back, getting up quickly and dashing out of the Great Hall before Sirius had a chance to pick up a knife and murder me.





Author's Note: So what do you think? Good, bad, need to change a few things? I know I probably have some grammar problems, so if I do, let me know in a polite manner, please! I always take constructive feedback.

As long as it's constructive.

I know it's kind of slow right now and might be boring, but I have the whole plot line and everything, so I will be updating! Review and all of that! Let me hear your ideas too! 

Chapter 3: Mermaid Tears and Broken Butts
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Of course this gorgeous chapter image was made by paradox. at TDA. she's brilliant.


To say that I needed a tutor was an understatement. I was never good at many classes, unable to focus that part of my mind on listening. My fifth year I had received a tutor, via McGonagall’s request, but had scared them away in two sessions.


Who would have known that if you mix two spells together (because I couldn’t remember which one to use) things would explode?


Somehow, I had managed to get into NEWT Potions. I think Slughorn felt bad for me, because I had sat there begging him to accept me into his class. He explained to me if I blew up the classroom again, I would be out of his class.


Like that would happen…for the fifth year in a row.


I was one of the first students in the classroom, so it was easy for me to take the best table. Guess there is a luxury of having your life threatened by Sirius Black.


As people filed in, no one took the open seat next to me. Someone even took the chair from next to me, placing it at a different table. Sadly, I was used to this, not only in Potions either. People acted as though I had dragon pox.


I convinced myself a few times that I did, just to lessen the blow of the weird stares.


“Alright class, today we are going to be-“ Slughorn started, his normal bellow echoing around the room. The slam of the door interrupted him.


Sirius stood in the doorway, a smirk playing on his lips. He nodded at Professor Slughorn as though he hadn’t interrupted him one bit.


“Nice of you to join us, Mr. Black.” Slughorn said, his tone bitter.


“I thought so,” Sirius retorted, receiving a few laughs from his classmates.


“You can take the open seat next to Ms. Crowley.” Slughorn stated. I looked around at first, not sure if he was referring to the spot next to me or not.


Bollucks. Who else has the name Crowley.


I silently hoped that he had accidentally said my name or that I had imagined it.


“Next to her?” Sirius asked, disgust dripping from his voice.


I frowned and turned to glare at him. He was staring at the seat next to me, as though it were filled with tiny inch worms. I looked at the chairless spot too, imagining a chair made out of inch worms and cringed immediately.


Stupid disgusting inch worms.


“Yes. Maybe you can teach her a few things, yes?” Slughorn said, turning towards the board and away from the conversation.


“I’m sure he could,” James said from across the room. Sirius shot him the dirtiest look I’ve seen exchanged between the two. “Sorry mate, habit.” James added with a wince.


I swore I could see smoke coming out of Black’s ears. Fuming (smoking more like it), he took a chair from a nearby table and sat down at the place furthest away from me. Good. If that spot had inch worms, I didn’t want to get infested. They’d crawl towards him first, being that he’s more good looking than me.


Well, at least I didn’t have to worry about an infestation of any sorts. Sirius might have to, actually. They’d crawl in his ears (which did look a little small, to be honest) and then they’d make their way up to his brain and eat it.


“What are you staring at, Crowley?” Sirius hissed at me. I teared my eyes away from his small ear and looked at the cauldron.


“You have abnormally small ears. Probably just look small because of your large head,” I said nonchalantly. I felt his eyes burning into the side of my head, but didn’t desire to turn towards him. I could feel my own head smoking.


“Get started!” Slughorn demanded. People started bustling around, walking towards the supplies cupboard and grabbing their ingredients. I took as long as I possibly could flip towards the designated page. I had to prolong the inevitable for as long as possible.

When I glanced up from my book, Sirius was already at the cupboards, digging out ingredients. Bollucks. I suppose he did want a good grade after all, but did he really have to bring those ingredients to our table? Did he not understand why no one wanted me as a partner? Did he not understand that the cauldron in front of us would blow up in less than a half hour with my luck? Obviously not, because he came back, slamming multiple ingredients on our table.


I finally reached the designated page. I scanned the list on ingredients and glanced at what he had brought back. “Looks like you got it all…” I commented, though I hadn’t the slightest clue if he really had.


He chose to ignore my comment and started a fire beneath the cauldron. I took to letting my eyes wander around the room. Lily Evans was partnered with James Potter, muttered nasty words under her breath. Lily Evans avoided Potter like he was the plague. Almost as much as she avoided me. James reached towards Lily who immediately slapped his hand away without a second thought as to where he was reaching.


I chuckled to myself, but felt the cold eyes on me once again. I reluctantly snapped my eyes towards my own table where Sirius was (once again) glaring daggers at me. I swear he has magical powers (well other than the obvious). He could probably burn me with his eyes if he wanted. He was probably debating that, actually.


“Are you going to help at all?” He asked, his voice low and it was actually quite terrifying.


I wasn’t sure what to do, to be honest. The words in my potions book didn’t do me any good, since I barely knew what ingredients were what. Sirius went back to chopping up his root-like object, so I took one that looked similar and started to do the same. Until I felt the knife yanked out of my hand.


“No! You do not get to use a knife, are you crazy? Wait, don’t answer that.” Sirius slammed the knife down on his opposite side. Great. Now what was I supposed to do?

I reached for a jar labeled “Mermaid Tears”. Not only did the tears look like individual drops of rain, I could hold them in my hand! I took out one and then another and another until my hands were filled with Mermaid Tears. I tossed them from hand to hand, the movement going faster and faster. It was like the tears were alive and jumping in my palms!

The next part wasn’t my fault, I swear. The tears had a mind of their own when they took a leap out of my hand and into the fire beneath the cauldron. I personally thought it would put the fire out, but no, the fire blazed around the cauldron in an attempt to swallow it whole. It didn’t stop either, the fire reached inside the cauldron and started eating our potion too!


“What the bloody hell-?!” Sirius yelled, grabbing out his wand and soaking our desk in water. I didn’t even have to look up this time; I knew the glare was on me.


“It was the Mermaid Tears…they leaped at the fire…” I mumbled, but I knew no defense would work.


Sirius gathered all of his belongings in one sweep of the desk and stomped (rather like a child, actually), towards James. They talked in hushed tones, seeming to have a heating conversation. Then, both returned towards my table, eyes set in hard stones.


“Lenny, why don’t you go work with Lily? She’s pretty good at potions,” James suggested, but I knew it was more of a demand.


How the bloody hell was me and Sirius supposed to have our relationship if he spit me out at everyone? I chuckled again to myself, probably making me look like more of a nutter.


“Right-o,” I responded when they seemed to be staring at me for an answer. I thought people wanted me to be more silent?


I gathered my own belongings, trying to wring out my cloak that had been resting on the table. It was soaked with the water Sirius had poured over the table. I walked towards Lily, setting my things down and shooting her my best winning smile.


She gave me an odd look before going back to her potion. Great. The reputation of Loony Lenny probably just returned.













“Where the bloody hell do you think you’re going?” Teddy grabbed my shoulder and spun me around, stopping me from escaping. Bollucks.


“Outside. It’s rather nice out there. I think I have Quidditch practice or something today.” I tried, but knew he wouldn’t go for it, because that Ravenclaud (haha, my mind made that one up and it’s rather clever) knew my whole schedule better than I did.


“Did you not hear me calling to you?” He asked me. I furrowed my eyebrows, recalling saying his name back.


“I said your name too.” I told him. He raised his eyebrows, doing the opposite movement as me.


“Lenny, let’s take a walk, shall we?” Teddy asked, but I knew it was more of a demand. He wrapped his arm through mine and dragged me in the opposite direction I was going.


I knew I should’ve stayed in bed this morning.


He didn’t stop, nor did he talk. He just kept walking. Dragging me up staircases, around corners, and through corridors. I felt as though I was going to get the biggest lecture of my life. I scanned my mind to see if I could recall getting a particularly bad grade, but came up with nothing that would get me a Teddy Lecture. I didn’t get any detentions, did I? I had received detentions while day dreaming before and never even realizing it.


Finally, after what seemed like days (it really did seem like days), he stopped in an empty corridor. Was he going to kill me? If he did, there would be no one who would ever look for me. Teddy would be the only one to ever lead a search party for me and if he killed me, he’d never look for me. Bollucks, he’s going to kill me!!


“Before you kill me, remember I’m your twin and what goes around comes around buddy! I will haunt you!” I shrieked, pulling away from him as fast as I could manage.


“Kill you? Merlin, Lenny. You’re crazy, you know that?” Teddy said, giving me a warming smile. My shoulders fell as I sighed. Good, he wasn’t going to kill me. “But I could kill you. Bloody hell, Lenny! Mind telling me what’s going on?”


“Well...I started a fire in Potions today, nothing new. Not my fault though, those Mermaid Tears jump by themselves, I swear!" I knew he was fishing for a specific answer, but I didn’t have the proper answer.


“No…that letter Sirius was talking about this morning sounded a hell of a lot like you…and your initials are L.C! You can’t possibly…” Lenny seemed at a loss for words as he stopped himself.


“Well, I told him to eat his toe, so you don’t have to play big brother, Teddy. It’s not like Sirius-toe-eating-Black would ever look at Loony Lenny anyways, so let’s be realistic here.” I growled, quite angry that Teddy didn’t seem to believe I could ever be destined for someone like perfect Sirius Black.


Well, it was true.


“I didn’t mean it that way, Lenny. Any guy would be…lucky to have you.” He smirked at me, slinging an arm over my shoulder. “Not that I wouldn’t kill them. I would, totally. It’s just…Sirius Black? Those stars must have been out of line. You deserve someone so much better.”


“I thought he was your friend?” I asked, giving him a smirk back. This was my Teddy, someone not even those blonde bimbos could take away.


“He is, he’s just not the best guy. You know that, though.” Lenny directed me out of the corridor, deciding that the drag all the way here was not necessary. “Just don’t keep up these letters, yeah? He’s going to figure out it’s you sooner or later. You are way too creative with your insults. ‘Eat your toe’?”

We both laughed as we entered the Great Hall, both of our laughs matching. It was weird, but we were like a puzzle that fit together. Just because we were twins did not mean we were alike, but it did mean that we completed each other. We have been together since we were created, for Merlin’s sake! We were once the same “person”, so to speak. If I had one person in this whole world, it was Teddy. Teddy was my Teddy.


My Teddy.


He sat down next to me, but shortly after, we weren’t alone anymore. Remus Lupin sat opposite me, a knowing look on his face. I knew what was coming before he even said it. Was I really going to be bombarded with questions about this damn letter all day?


“Lenny… can we talk?” Remus asked, glancing at Teddy who seemed to suddenly tense his shoulders.


“Is it about the thing with the…person?” I asked, trying to see if he even remembered. I had hoped all day that nargles had eaten his brain.


“Err…yes.” Remus said, catching on to my logic.


“Teddy knows.” I told him, grabbing the butter and drowning my potatoes in it.


“Oh. Do you? How’d you-Oh, this morning when Sirius said the letter. I thought that was pretty obvious too.” Remus said, giving Teddy a warm smile.


“Bollucks, I thought he would have put two and two together. Sirius gets the most of Lenny’s insults as it is! Thought he would recognize one if he saw it.” Teddy added, his shoulders untensing as he fell into easy conversation. It was like I wasn’t even there. And I was alright with just eating my potatoes in silence.


“Sirius is pretty thick, though.” Remus added with a chuckle.


“If thick means gorgeous, then yes.” Sirius had piled in, sitting next to Remus as did the rest of their mates. I grumbled, stuffing more potatoes into my mouth.


“Is that all you’re going to eat?” Peter said from next to me, looking at my mound of potatoes in disgust.


“Let her. I hope the butter kills her.” Sirius hissed. I glared at him and without a thought, picked up my fork and flung the potatoes at him.


“Nope. Potatoes don’t kill.” I said with a shrug, returning to eat my potatoes. There was a small gasp, but it wasn’t like that was the first time I had flung food at Black’s face.


This joke of us being destined was getting funnier and funnier as time went on. Really, it was getting quite comical to me.


That was until I felt something meet my face. Something that actually had substance to it. I felt it mesh against my face, but before I could react, I flew away from the table in shock (and to be honest, from the force of the pie in my face). I hit the ground and the first thing I felt was pain. Utter pain shooting up my spine and melting my insides. White hot pain.


I let out a loud shriek and rolled over onto my stomach. I could barely handle the pain. I grabbed onto Teddy’s arm and felt tears pricking my eyes. This had to be ridiculous to anyone looking on. I couldn’t sit up from the pain. Teddy jumped over the bench and knelt down beside me.


“What the bloody hell did you do, Padfoot?” I heard James asked, but I squeezed my eyes shut to try to block out the pain.


“Lenny, where does it hurt?” Teddy whispered, his comforting voice washing over me, but not enough to stop the white hot pain. I gestured towards where I felt the pain, but not sure of where I had gestured towards.


“Bloody hell.” I heard sodding-Sirius say, as though he were choking back laughter.


“It’s her tailbone.” Teddy said, all seriousness in his voice.


“Merlin, Sirius! You broke her butt!” James shouted, not holding back his laughter. 

 Bloody Hell. I had a broken butt. 

 How am I supposed to go to the bathroom?!




Author's Note: 

So, I know there are unnecessary spaces and such and I realize how annoying it is. I will fix it...eventually. It's a lot of work to go through and get rid of all the spaces, to be honest. I will try to fix this at a later date, but I'm not sure when I'll get around that.

I am very greatful for everyone who has sent reviews! Keep doing it! It makes me feel all warm and tingly. And it actually gives me some ideas for the story! I love to hear what everyone has to say. The good and bad.

Rate/Review and the chapters will come faster...maybe...if I decide that this is more important than school (which the semester is almost over so chapters will be up faster)!

I know this chapter is overdue and that it's not all that important, but it's a filler, what do you expect? <3

Chapter 4: House Elves and Lennyland
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Amazing gorgeous Chapter image by Camila @ tda!


As it turns out, it wasn’t that hard to go to the bathroom. Sure, it hurt like hell, but I managed to make the best of the situation. At least I could still sit on the toilet properly. The worst part about it all was the fact that I had to go to Pomfrey to have her apply healing cream to my bottom. That was just plain embarrassing.


Still, it was manageable. After it had happened, Black had even felt bad enough to follow Teddy up to the hospital wing to make sure I was alright. I’m sure that Teddy would have killed him if he wouldn’t have followed him, though. Sirius was the one who caused my broken butt. Nothing like soul mates doing damage to each other, right?


Let me make something clear. When I say soul mates, I really don’t mean it. I say it very sarcastically in my head. Lenny Crowley, the mentally unstable Gryffindor girl and Sirius Black, Gryffindor heart throb? Honestly, when I had first seen what Remus had written on my paper, I had thought it was a joke. I even tried the equation myself.


Still, I came out with S.B.


Then again, I was never good at Astronomy. I could’ve been entirely wrong. Yet, something made my stomach sink incredibly. This is the guy that broke my butt and called me cruel names daily.


It’s like I already knew that it was impossible and disgusting, but it was an ongoing joke in my head. Something that made me look more like a nutter whenever I laughed to myself, but I thought it was particularly funny.


More importantly, Teddy and Remus knew. As weird as it sounded, they constantly gave me strange looks, as though they were in deep thought about me. Which they probably were, being that I was Loony Lenny with a broken bottom.


“My butt hurts,” I whined while I lounged on the couch in the common room. Teddy sat opposite me, staring at me over his Potions essay with raised eyebrows.


“Go get your cream on it.” Teddy said, returning to scratching out certain parts of his essay. Though Teddy was a Ravenclaw, he spent far too much time in the Gryffindor common room. I had received a nasty letter from Mom and Dad yesterday about my grades, so Teddy spent even more time in the Gryffindor common room, making sure I did homework. Which I was not doing, but Teddy always got too wrapped up in his own work to worry about me.


“I feel like she is raping me when she does it. Gets a little bit too friendly, if you ask me,” I told him, shaking when I remembered her cold-gloved hands on my bottom.


“Uh-huh.” Teddy responded, but when I looked at him, he was still engrossed with his essay. I tossed a pillow in his direction, in attempt to get him to look at me. He glanced at me, throwing it back. “What?” he asked.


“I’m bored.” I whined, trying my best to pout at him. His eyes didn’t falter from his paper, however.


“Go to Lennyland.” Teddy said simply. I contemplated his answer and shrugged. It wasn’t like I was going to do my homework anyways.


I won’t go into details about Lennyland, other than it is a splendid place for me. I do not get bothered, I can work my way through my problems, and even think of some ideas for Quidditch. Lennyland leaves me to zone completely out. I don’t have to listen to anyone when I’m in Lennyland. Sadly, the only person who believes in that rule is me, but it gives my mind the capacity to block everyone out.


It was really peaceful to be honest. I even pictured a huge field, the bright sun beaming down on my face, and dozens of wild flowers around me. If I felt like day dreaming about Quidditch, I’d picture goal posts there too. If I wanted to day dream about a crush, the crush would be there. Whatever I felt like zoning out on, it would be in that wild flower field with me.


I’m really not crazy, it’s just when times get hard, I go to Lennyland.


After I managed to come out of Lennyland, I actually had an amazing idea for the game against Ravenclaw, which really wasn’t for a few weeks yet. I looked up, ready to tell Teddy we were going to cream them, but he was no longer there. In fact, no one was in the common room. It was completely deserted and it seemed that the house elves had already cleaned out the common room as well.


I wondered if they had given me a bath or something. I did feel slightly cleaner. I looked down at myself and it did actually look like my shoes had been shined. I wiggled them a bit, just to see them shine in the candlelight. Yes, they had been shined.


I got up, careful to push myself off the couch without hurting my already throbbing bottom. It was already hurting from sitting on it all day. I’m not lazy, it was just what I was supposed to do, honest!


When I made it up to the dorm, all the other seventh year girls were fast asleep; two snoring so loud, I always had to put in ear plugs. As my head came out from the hole in my oversized t-shirt, I nearly screamed. An owl sat in the window sill, staring directly at me. It even hooted at me, making me grab onto my heart to keep it from jumping out of my body and giving it to the owl as sacrifice.


Worst of all, I saw the initials on the letter on its leg. L.C.




Tentatively, I took the letter from the owl and ripped it open, groaning to myself as I noticed the handwriting and more importantly, the name at the bottom.



Playing hard to get? Knew you would be my type. If you won’t tell me who you are, fine. I don’t need a face. I really don’t believe in fate, but I like to be spontaneous, so I guess I’m playing with this so called “fate”. Can I get to know you at least? You don’t have to meet me face-to-face, maybe just through these letters. Tell me your favorites, what you do in your spare time, anything.

-Sirius Black


I cursed under my breath. Did he not get my hint? Did he not understand that I did not want anything to do with this? I tossed the letter in the garbage by my bed, but immediately pulled it out. I couldn’t let the girls possibly find it. I pulled it out, frowning at it. That’s when I noticed the owl was still there, tilting its head at me.


“You can leave, I’m not responding to this.” I told the owl, gesturing towards the open window, but it didn’t budge. Even then, it shuffled towards me and pecked my finger. I gasped, yanking my hand away to see a small trickle of blood go down my finger.


“You’re a bad bird!” I hissed at it, moving away from the bird, but it scooted closer and closer to me. I even attempted to throw my hands at it, but it didn’t budge. “You were told not to leave without a response, weren’t you?”


The owl hooted in response and I immediately cursed under my breath. I didn’t have anything to say to Sirius-bloody-Black! This guy felt as though I had no right to even talk to him, let alone be in the same house as him. I was scum and he was superior. I could feel my anger itching at my hands and before I knew it, I had lit a candle and was already writing my letter back, eyes narrowed and the words seemed barely readable.



I like hating you. I like NOT getting your letters. My hobbies are avoiding you. I do not need you to tell me about you, because I know all I need to know. You’re foul and just a horrid person.


p.s. Did you eat your toe? I hope so, less of you I have to deal with.


Satisfied not only to get the owl away from me, I attached it to its leg and took it onto my arm cautiously. I had a small fear of owls, but decided that it was better if I brought the owl to the window, so it didn’t wake up my cranky roommates if it hit anything in the cluttered room. Except, when I went to let it out of the window, I gave it a nice toss when it spread its wings out, which meant it made a loud crashing noise as it knocked over a candle and slapped its wings about.


Lily sat up quickly in her bed, only because she was right next to the window. She was (luckily) the only one who had woken up. I didn’t want to find out what the others would have done had they woken up. Oddly, Lily was the nicest girl in the bunch, but mess up her beauty sleep, she wasn’t all too pleasant. It explained the nasty look on her face as she pulled back her curtain to see me by the window.


“What the bloody hell are you doing?!” Lily asked in a hushed tone. I looked out the window but saw the owl was already long gone. I shrugged at her, but she didn’t take that as an answer.

”Well…er-a house elf was…sad. I came up here and found him crying in the window sill….He got scared and jumped?” I said, making the story up as I went along. “I tried to grab him, but-“


Lily leaped out of her bed and sprang into action, her wand pointed out the window, as though she would heal the imaginary house elf on sight. Except, there really wasn’t a house elf and when she looked out of the window, all she saw was the darkness that swallowed the Hogwarts grounds. Her emerald eyes seemed as though they were looking all over the ground, even in the sky, for that house elf.


“He must have disapparated mid-fall. Realized it was a bad idea or something,” I told her. She sighed with relief and sat down at the edge of her bed.


“Did you see what house elf it was? I know a few of them. I’ll have to tell Dumbledore about it. He’ll want to know-“


“No! I didn’t-I mean, the house elf seemed fine…I’m sure he just had a fight with his house elf wife or something. Nothing to worry about, I’m sure.” I said through my shaking voice. I didn’t need to be questioned by Dumbledore about a suicidal house elf.


“It’s important, Lenny. I’ll just talk to you about it tomorrow, alright? Good night,” Lily laid back down in bed, closing the curtains around her.


Now I had to think of a solid story about a house elf being suicidal over their house elf wife and attempting to jump out of the window, but having a change of heart mid-jump and disapparating on spot to tell Lily in the morning.


Oh well, my mind has come up with a lot more creative things before.



“’Within the last week, two magical families have been brutally tortured and then killed by Death Eaters. Sources said the one father worked in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and was working towards making more restrictions towards werewolves. His family was attacked by a werewolf who has been known to have relations with he-who-must-not-be-named. The other man, a Wizengamot member, recently voted against a Death Eater when put up against the council to go into Azkaban…’” Teddy read aloud, a look of disgust on his face as he set the paper down, unable to read more. I glanced at the picture of the two smiling families and cringed myself upon seeing a young girl in it as well.


“That’s not right,” I mumbled, unable to tear my eyes away from the small girl with curly blonde hair. She smiled up at her mother who was holding onto her petite hand, who returned the smile before turning back towards the camera.


“Let’s go. We have Defense.” Teddy said, pulling me off of my warm spot under the sun. I groaned, trying to eat up as much of the sun as possible. It was near the end of September, so the sun wouldn’t be here for much longer.


“Teddy, but the sun! It will miss us!” I cried as he dragged me up to the castle.


“Professor Dearborn already doesn’t like you, Lenny. Needn’t get more on his bad side,” Teddy said and sadly, he was right.


Defense Against the Dark Arts was actually a class I was good at. When I say good at, I mean average, which means it’s below average of everyone else’s average. For me though, it was good. I actually got the spells in a few tries and understood what the teacher was telling us. Sometimes. Unless I went into Lennyland. Which was a lot.


“You are all in a NEWT class, which means I expect you to all be able to duel properly and be able to defend yourselves. Hence the name of the class: Defense Against the Dark Arts. I think you have all learned enough about the dark creatures in our world, but not enough about the dark wizards. Right now we are going through a war. A war where we are losing far too many lives. You may feel safe and protected now, but this has just started. Hogwarts is the safest place in the wizarding world right now, but what happens when, in a year from now, you are all out of this place? You will not be safe or protected by us teachers. Now, I will call you up two at a time and you will duel. The person to get disarmed first is considered “dead”. We will make a tournament out of this that will last a few weeks. The person alive in the end will receive an O for this project.” Professor Dearborn stood at the front of the class, his eyes scanning his NEWT students.


I knew I’d be the first student to be disarmed and would receive a T, but I never really thought much into it. The only reason I did any good in this class was because I was used to people trying to curse me, so I had to learn how to defend myself. Since this was Defense class, I had actually picked up a few things here and there. Professor Dearborn was an Auror, so this war stuff was very serious to him. Not that I didn’t care (that little girl still was stuck in my head), it just wasn’t a priority right now. I wasn’t affected yet.


Lennyland was a peaceful place. You didn’t have wars in Lennyland.


“Amelia Lemons and Lily Evans!” Dearborn called. The two girls battled as though their grades depended on it (and it really did). Lily obviously won, being that she was at the top of the class for just about everything. Amelia looked ready to cry, but Dearborn easily told her that she had done her best, but was pronounced dead. Our class was actually large, consisting of all the houses. Dearborn didn’t have time to teach so many classes, so they had bunched all the houses together in each year, so that he only had seven different classes.


The battles went on and it seemed that numerous Hufflepuffs were leaving. When Teddy made it to the stage, he easily took out his Slytherin counter, who looked ready to kill him. Teddy was always amazing in every class, of course. He could stir the Draught of Living Death to perfection and turn a bird into a whistle. People just thought Teddy was perfect. He probably took some of my brains in the womb. I have told him that since we were young, but he still doesn’t believe me.


“Lenny, it’s your turn!” Teddy nudged me from behind. I felt eyes on me as Dearborn raised his eyebrows impatiently at me. I flushed, but went to the center of the room and faced Amycus Carrow, the dumbest Slytherin in the bunch. I grinned to myself, noting he looked like a rat. A disgusting, slimy rat. Almost as bad as Snape.


Sadly, I knew the other side of his wand. He was predicable and easy to anticipate. He always sent curses my way which always missed. Yet whenever I had nasty dreams about Slytherins, he was always in them. Just because his face scared me too much. If it weren’t for that fact, he would probably be out of my nightmares completely. He added to the scariness of the Slytherins.


“Ms. Crowley and Mr. Carrow, are you both ready?” Dearborn asked, looking between the two of us. I could see a large wart forming on the very tip of Amycus’s nose. At first, I thought it was a zit, but no, it had to have been a wart because it seemed that his face was even too greasy for that to be just a zit.


That’s when I saw a spell flying straight at me. I leaped out of the way, just in time for it to crash into the wall where my head had been. I nearly let out a yelp, but Amycus was already casting more spells at me. My wand instinctively rose up and blocked a few out of fear, but I wasn’t able to react. I had barely gotten to my feet when he blasted me off of them. It seemed the summer had done him good with his wand and he was much better than I remembered. And I was going to get a T.


He took a second to step back and smirk and that’s when I took my one and only chance to cast the first offensive spell I could cast. His eyes widened and his own feet flew off the ground. He spun in the air (something I was very proud of) and landed with a loud thud on the opposite side of the room. The room was silent and I went to look to simply see if he was okay (I am the Gryffindor, which means I’m the decent one) when I saw his wand sitting where he had been blasted off the ground.


“You are dead, Mr. Carrow,” Dearborn said with just as much amazement as I had in my eyes. Hey, at least it meant I didn’t get a T. Maybe things were turning around.


My eyes wandered over the shocked class to see the amazed look on people’s faces, but when my eyes fell on Sirius, his face was bent over, reading a piece of parchment. A piece of parchment I recognized as my letter. He then reached into his bag, pulled out a piece of paper and began scribbling on it. Bollucks, he wasn’t going to give up easily.






Author's Note:

So, I hope you're liking it! If you're reading it, that is. I got this one up on time, actually! I know this chapter isn't all that amazing, but it's mainly a filler...again.

I'd love to hear comments and questions about the stories! Let me know what you think and how you think it's coming along. I know its a love story and we will get into that at about chapter... 10. So hold your horses, it's coming along. (that's a guess, I'm not entirely sure). I will be updating frequently (or as much as I can with school and work full time).


Chapter 5: Crazy L.C.
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Amazing banner by Camila of TDA! 


“Three days!” 

“It is two days, you toe-rag!” 

“Three days, you troll!”

”Oh that’s real original!” 

 “Which your face isn’t!” 

“Stop it for Merlin’s sake!” a shriek came from the left. I whirled around to see Alice Logan, her face bright pink with embarrassment. Alice was a quiet, secluded girl. She never wanted to draw attention to herself. She looked way too much like a tomato at the glares not only I was sending her, but the ones Black was sending her. 

“Well, tell him I’m right, then!” I said, giving Sirius a very pointed look. He rolled his eyes, but looked at Alice to see who she would side with. 

Of course she would side with me; I was her roommate! There hadn’t been a time when I didn’t stick up for her or tell her when she looked ugly in something (well, someone had to do it!). Though she probably thought I was just as loony as every else, she was one of the only people who was nice enough to me. She glanced in between me and Sirius and took a huge breath in before letting words fall out of her mouth. 

“Sirius is right, not you, Lenny.” She said, as though she was afraid of my reaction. Like I would bite her or something…tempting. 

My mouth went slack and Sirius smirked at me and turned back to our potion that he had ordered me not to touch (again). I had resorted to small talk, which had gotten us in an argument over how many days it was until our Quidditch match against Ravenclaw. It was three, I swear! Today was Thursday. That was one day. Tomorrow was Friday and the next day was Saturday (the day of the game). There are three days there, not two!

How many hours until the game, though? Well, there was about…48? Yes, we did play on Saturday around this time. 48 hours, that was two days. Bollucks, maybe he was right. I gave him a glare for good measure. I wouldn’t ever let him know he was right, anyways, so no harm done.

“Just figure out I was right, did you?” Sirius asked, not pulling his eyes away from the potion. I felt my body burning. Of course perfect Sirius Black would be able to read my mind. He just has to be able to do everything, doesn’t he? 

Maybe he could even fly without a broom. I glanced down at his feet, just to make sure they weren’t lifting off the ground (he was pretty tall, so maybe I just wasn’t noticing it?). Thankfully, they were spread slightly too far apart, but on the ground nevertheless. I sighed in relief, which Sirius seemed to take as a sigh of discontent for him actually reading my mind correctly. 

“You’re just predictable, that’s all….and I’m never wrong,” he added, throwing some wings into the potion. The whole time, he didn’t look up at me once. 

“Just eat a wing while you’re at it!” I hissed, unable to come up with anything suitable. Sirius rolled his eyes, unable to even come up with anything in return.

Ha. I win. 

So the game was in two days, no big deal. I felt prepared…or at least I thought I did. I wasn’t the best Quidditch player, but somehow I had managed to get on the team back in my third year as the keeper. I hadn’t known what the captain had seen in me then, but somehow he had turned me into something good. We’ve won the Quidditch Cup every year since my fifth year. Potter had gotten the captain’s badge this year, something that he took so much pride in that he took to making us practice over the summer as well. 

I had been to the hospital wing five times because of his antics with me! A keeper doesn’t dive! If I bat the ball away, that’s the chasers job to go get it, not me! Nevertheless, this year, I was expected to do just that. Bloody captains and their bloody authority. If I was captain, we’d spend our time inventing a broom cushion. Maybe we won’t win, but at least we will be comfortable. 

I won’t have to feel like I have a stick up my butt, quite literally. 

Which is why, sitting on this broom right now, was causing me extreme pain. Normally, Quidditch players could look past it, but not me. I had a bony butt to begin with, so it was like rubbing stick and stick together. I felt as though a fire would irrupt beneath my bottom and I wouldn’t even know it since it was already becoming extremely numb. Damn Potter. 

I watched in slow motion as our three chasers came racing towards me. I should really start to pay attention more. The quaffle was passed to Potter, who smirked as he sent it soaring towards the hoop I was furthest away from. I zoomed up to it, managing to catch the quaffle right on my fingertips. I sighed in relief, knowing that if I would have missed it, I would have gotten hell for it. Potter acted as though nargles were inside his head. 

They probably were. 

I tossed him the quaffle back, just to notice how red his face was. Was he mad at me? I had made the bloody catch, hadn’t I? 

“You were in the wrong position, Crowley!” Potter growled at me, looking ready to explode. I could never do anything right, could I? 

 “I got the quaffle, Pothead!” I shouted back, unable to contain my pride. I was a Gryffindor for a reason. 

His face got redder as he heard my retaliation. Alice Logan groaned from her position next to him, knowing a common fight was coming. It seemed the whole team did, because everyone stopped their training and came flying over to where James and I were hovering by the goal posts. 

“Barely!” James shrieked, flying closer to me. It seemed as though his face was as red as Lily Evans’ hair. He probably did it on purpose to try to show her how much he loved her. I snorted, but not from his comment, but from my little joke. 

“Crowley, can’t you ever just shut your mouth?” Black asked, flying over to James’s side. It seemed as though they were building up a front against me. I already felt myself shrink smaller. They looked like giants compared to me right now. I nearly let out a whimper, until I felt our tiny seeker, Michael, fly up next to me. 

“Hey, leave her alone, she caught the quaffle, didn’t she?” he defended, his voice small and quite girly. I’m sure he hadn’t matured yet, being that he was only a third year. I nearly groaned again. Two very large seventh years against us two? Not really all that fair. 

“Michael, go back to training!” Potter hissed. I felt the body heat roll off of Michael, but before he was willing to protest, he flew away, leaving me alone once again. 

“He’s right, I caught it. You’re just being a sour puss because you didn’t make it in like you thought you would.” I retaliated, almost biting my words when his face seemed to be growing purple.

Well, my theory about him trying to flatter Evans might have been wrong, but maybe he was just a metamorphmagus. It would make sense, the Potters came from a pure blood line. I contemplated if I had ever seen him with different hair or a different nose. He did recover really fast from a broken nose back in our fifth year. Maybe he had fixed it himself with his metamorphmagus powers. 

He was staring straight at me, his eyebrows raised. Oh Merlin, he had said something, hadn’t he? I pursed my lips, trying to come up with a good retort, but not knowing what he had said, I wasn’t exactly sure what was going to come out of my mouth. I opened it, prepared for my word throw-up to roll straight out of it and of course, it did. 

“Oh, go swim with the Giant Squid. It could be your new best mate, since Black will be too wrapped up with his L.C. chick.” My voice was a hiss, not its normal bubbly joking tone. I was shocked myself, because when I did insult, it never had any note of sincerity to it. 

“How the bloody hell do you even know about L.C?” Sirius asked, glaring at me as though he was protecting his jewels. I let out a harsh laugh. 

Well, it may be the fact that I am her. It may be the fact that I have your letter under my bed, taped to the bottom of the mattress so no one will find it. I could know about L.C because you are pathetically sending me letters. 

“Because” was all that came out of my mouth. It was a childish response, but the only one that came out. 

“Everyone knows about her, mate.” Ludo Bagman said from the right. Him and Sirius were our beaters, both large and both rather scary looking. When I looked over to Ludo, he sent me a small smile, knowing not to take sides in a Lenny/James fight. I returned it, unsure if he had been giving me the smile because he felt sorry for me or because he mentally was siding with me. 

When I looked back at Sirius, his face was almost as red as James face had been. I groaned and rolled my eyes. “If we aren’t going to practice, can I go?” I asked. 

James finally seemed to notice that everyone was still just hovering in the air and his face broke out of its hard stare towards me and went into his “captain” face. This meant that it turned to stone, hard set eyes, and pinkish tint to his face. “Get back to practice! We aren’t going to beat Ravenclaw like this!” He shrieked, flying away with his chasers. 



As I pulled my practice pads off, I heard a small cough in the corner of the locker room. The only two girls on the team were me and Alice Logan. Alice was a chaser, small and fast, but insanely quiet. James had lectured her time and time again about communication while on the pitch, but it never did much, so he learned to let it be. Alice had boring blonde hair that brushed the top of her shoulders. Her big blue eyes shone beneath her long eyelashes, making her positively beautiful.

Or at least that’s what people told me. I’m not all too good of a judgment. I thought orange looked good with green, but apparently people thought otherwise. I also thought the witch models you see on posters could use some more fat, but apparently insanely skinny was attractive. 

“Lenny, did you hear me?” Alice asked, with her small voice. I looked up at her, my eyes slightly glazed and gave her a small smile.

“Sorry Alice, was a bit out of it. What’d you say?” I asked. She gave me my own sheepish smile back. Not like I didn’t hear her head screaming RUN LENNY’S INSANE!

I don’t think insane was contagious, but who am I to know? I probably caught insane from my parents. They were a bit loony as well. Teddy must be immune to the insane gene in our family. 

“Lenny, I know it’s you.” She said, smiling beneath her long eyelashes. I paused, feeling like déjà vu was coming over me. Great, not only did Remus and Teddy know, but now Alice did too! 

“Know what?” I asked, trying to be nonchalant about it. Would Alice tell Sirius? Hadn’t they dated or something? What if she was insanely jealous that he was writing me these letters and was so overcome with jealousy that she killed me? 

No one would see that one coming. Sweet little Alice Logan killing someone? No way. Crazy Lenny probably just killed herself. People probably thought I was holding my wand the wrong way when trying to explode a bug and exploded myself instead. That’s actually very probable. It is rather hard to know which side of my wand was the tip. It all looked the same to me. 

“The whole team knows it’s you, Lenny. The only person who doesn’t is Sirius, but he’s rather thick, isn’t he?” Alice chuckled slightly, but proceeded to fold her clothes neatly into her bag. Who folds dirty clothes? 

Trying to look like I wasn’t such of a pig, I examined my clothes very closely before placing them into my bag gently, though that didn’t get rid of the fact that it was a mess. Almost as bad as my book bag. That thing could eat my hand off, I was sure of it. 

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. Run into Xeno Lovegood or something?” I asked, trying to be humorous, but always coming up short. I never was able to crack a joke when I was under pressure. 

“Lenny, he lost is Loony record when you tried to beat the nargles with your broomstick,” She said. I remembered that, but hey, I was drunk! “That’s not my point. Someone is going to tell Sirius soon and if this doesn’t stop, someone’s going to get hurt.”

Sadly, Alice was right. Someone would tell Sirius if the whole team knew. James was his best mate after all. They were like two girls the way they were friends. I was sure if not damn certain that James would tell Sirius. It would only be a matter of time before Sirius came stomping in here, accused me of intercepting the letters between him and his “perfect girl” and did it as a prank to him.

That wouldn’t have been a bad idea, actually. 

“Look…Remus and Teddy already told me to stop and I’m going to. I just had to get my point across, that’s all!” I defended, slinging my bag over my shoulder. 

“By changing his shampoo every day before practice to dung smelling? That’s hardly getting one’s point across.” Alice said, shaking her head at me.

Wait…Alice didn’t know! That meant the whole team didn’t know! That meant…well, it meant Sirius didn’t and wouldn’t know. I sighed in relief, but Alice looked at me like I was more loony, but that didn’t matter. I was still in the clear with all of this! 

“CROWLEY! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!” I suddenly heard, making me jump backwards. I felt my already painful bottom crash against a nearby locker. I let out a yelp, not only from the pain, but from the voice outside the locker room doors.

“I’m guessing they told him.” Alice said, shrugging and walking through the door. I got a glimpse of Sirius’s face, beat red with what looked like wet poo dripping down his face. ‘

I couldn’t stop my laughter. It rang throughout the whole locker room, echoing off the walls. My side hurt so much from my laughing, but I didn’t care because it felt so good. I had pulled one over on Sirius Black (other than the obvious L.C thing)! I felt accomplished and so amazing that no one could pull me down. 

“Think that’s funny, do you?” Sirius barked, somehow managing to make it into the girl’s locker room (which was supposed to be magically barred from boys). 

“Its…your face!-Oh you look…just darling!” I couldn’t choke back my laugher. In between words I was howling at the dung dripping down his face. He smelt horrible, but he didn’t seem to be bothered by it. 

“Have they been changing it until today? I would have thought this would have happened a lot sooner.” I asked once I had finally managed to calm down. Sirius seemed to be at a complete loss for words. 

“You’re disgusting, you know that? I cannot believe you- no actually, I do believe you would be so pathetic.” Sirius started, his arms flinging in the air at his tirade. 

“You look like a monkey doing that.” I interrupted, pointing at his flailing arms. Well, he really did. He looked like he was trying to swing from branch to branch and failing. 

“UGH CROWLEY! You’re so infuriating! It’s no wonder you’ve never had a boyfriend, no one would ever want you!” Sirius barked. I paused, not sure how to respond.

He wanted me. He wanted all my attention. He was the one that was pathetic enough to send me two letters already, basically begging me for my attention. I smiled at him, showing my large teeth. “Well, Mr. Black…I beg to differ.” Was all I got out before I bursted into laughter again, this time falling to the ground and rolling around. 

“You’re crazy, you know that?” Sirius growled, before leaving the locker room.

That’s me. 

Crazy Lenny Crowley.

Crazy L.C.


Author's Note: 

So again... a filler. In all honesty, I didn't enjoy writing this chapter too much. I made Lenny a little more serious, giving you some more insight to her head. I don't like making a serious Lenny, but there will be a few chapters where she is serious. Haha, Sirius, gettit? 

Anywho, I'm really loving responding to reviews. I really really love it. So you know what that means?! Me and Lenny would love some more reviews!! I just truly want to know what you think about all of this. So let us know. Since it is the end of my semester, I will be updating more frequently, but it all depends on how fast it gets posted by staff. So <3 from Lenny and I.

Chapter 6: Mother Nature has a Crush
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Amazing chapter image by Camila of TDA! Perfect picture for Lenny, don't you think?


I was downright happy. Chipper. Ecstatic. Any other adjective you can think of for happy, that’s what I was. I couldn’t contain the smile that spread across my face and I wouldn’t even think of stopping it from growing into a dopy grin. People would look at me funny, but so what? I felt on top of the world. Why might you ask?

It was the first Quidditch game of the season. 

No, I’m not as obsessed with Quidditch as Potter is, but this was something I was actually good at. People looked up to me. People would actually be cheering for me. In this game, I wasn’t Loony Lenny, I was actually a player that received a few cheers in the stand. Sure, I didn’t get a Lenny cheering section like Black did, but people cheered when I made a save. That counted, right?


In Quidditch, I’m not a loser.


The clock read 6:30 am, but I didn’t care. The sun was out, so I should be out too. That’s my philosophy. I got ready in less than 30 minutes, having my Quidditch jumper wrapped securely around me. I smiled to myself, barely being able to hold in my squeal. Shove this up your arse, Teddy, Gryffindor is going to beat you again.


Teddy played for Ravenclaw and was a chaser. He took pride in telling me how he scored a goal on me two years ago. Ravenclaw was good, but thought the game was about smarts, which it’s not. No, it’s about…er…other stuff. Like just…flying. Yes. Quidditch was about flying.


That made sense to me.


I already had my Quidditch jumper on. Normally, you wore your practice jumper throughout the day, showing your team pride. Then, when it came to game time, most players gave their practice jumper to some other person to wear during the game (that was a weird tradition if you ask me. Who would want to wear a sweaty jumper?). That’s when you changed into your game jumper.


Girls jumped at the chance to wear a practice jersey from a Quidditch player. Sirius had girls lined up until the final game to wear his jumper, but Potter was another story. No one wanted to wear his jumper. Some girls were so pathetic that they didn’t realize until it was too late what was wrong with his practice jumper. He simply didn’t wash it. He thought it was good luck, since we haven’t lost a game since he stopped washing it.


You never wanted to fly by him during practice, that’s how horrid it smelt. Someone made the mistake of asking James to wear his jersey last year and smelt like sweaty Potter until the end of the school year.


My feet had a mind of their own as they skipped down to breakfast. One, two, jump! One, two, jump! It was a lot harder than it sounded, but I managed. Everything just felt brighter. The sleepy ghosts that floated past me seemed to have an extra glow to them and the candles floating in the Entrance Hall were brighter than ever. The Great Hall was completely empty, which didn’t damper my mood whatsoever.


As I went to sit down (ready to jump over the table, really) an owl beat me to my spot. Its large eyes looked up at me and hooted, obviously happy to have found its recipient. I groaned, feeling my mood sink away. The owl hopped on one leg, extending the leg that had a letter attached.


“I’m not taking that, so you can just stop.” I said, hoping this owl wasn’t as stubborn as the last. It tilted its large head to the side, hopping closer to me.


“No, I’m not taking it!” I repeated, but it still continued to hop. I lifted up my own leg, mocking it and started to hop around myself. “See how stupid you look?”


“Look who’s talking,” a voice said, making me slam my foot onto the ground. I turned, face red, to meet Teddy’s smiling face.


“Only people who are stupid know what a stupid person looks like,” I told him, sitting on the Gryffindor bench. Albeit Teddy is not a Gryffindor, he took the seat next to me anyways.


“I’m not stupid enough to not take a letter addressed to me.” Teddy commented, glancing at the letters “L.C” scrawled on the letter. He raised an eyebrow to me, but I sat perfectly still. Maybe neither the owl nor Teddy would think I was still alive and would leave me alone.


“Lenny, you’re breathing. I know you’re not dead,” this time, I held my breath. Maybe then…


I felt my lungs restricting and saw Teddy’s eyebrow shoot up to his hairline. It was a challenge. I never was able to hold my breath for long, I normally passed out before too long.


“Lenny, you’re going to pass out again,” Teddy warned me, digging in to the food that had just appeared in front of him. I wouldn’t lose this one, I could hold my breath.


But for how long was I supposed to hold it? Until Teddy was convinced I was dead? Would I have to die to do that, seeing as Teddy knew me like the back of his hand?


I took a deep breath, filling my lungs back up with air. Precious, precious air, oh how I missed you. I was beginning to see white specks and I doubt Potter would be happy if his keeper was in the hospital wing from passing out…from not breathing…on purpose.


“40 seconds, is that a new record?” Teddy asked jokingly, eyeing the owl who was still staring at me. “Take the blasted letter, Lenny.”

I huffed, but yanked the letter free of the owl’s leg. It hooted at me, before flying off, obviously upset with me for not taking the letter sooner.



You’re funny, I like that. I’ve only gotten two letters from you and you haven’t told me much, but you seem familiar. I feel like I already know you, but I can’t put my finger on who you remind me of. Since you won’t tell me about you, I’ll tell you about myself (I’ll disregard that you said you don’t want to know about me, because who doesn’t?). I like dogs, but I hate cats. They creep me out, their nails that just dig into your skin and their ugly little faces. I like Quidditch, just not as much as James (my best mate, though I’m sure you knew that). There’s a big game today against Ravenclaw, but we’re going to kick their arses (no hard feelings to Teddy Crowley, a good mate and a Ravenclaw chaser)). Thunderstorms are amazing and I always go outside when one starts. I play pranks constantly, but that’s no news to you, I presume. Not hard, see?

Sirius Black

P.S I licked it. Not as good as I thought it’d be.


My heightened mood was immediately sunk. There’s nothing like a letter from Sirius Black to put me in a sour mood. Though I do admit, the loops me makes when he writes my initials do look pretty nice, that’s the only good thing about the letter.


“Lenny, I thought I told you to stop this letter nonsense,” Teddy whispered next to me. I tossed him the letter and let him scan it over, noting that I was doing nothing wrong. Why is it always me who does something wrong in dear ol’ Teddy’s eyes?


“We’re twins. I thought you’d have more trust in me, but no. The nargles are eating at your brain, Teddy and I just don’t know what to do with you nowadays.” I rambled, watching his eyes scan the paper.


“I’ll kill him if he thinks he’s getting anywhere near you.” Teddy growled. Ah, gotta love Teddy Crowley, overly protective who thinks he’s my big brother. Well…in all technicalities he is. He popped out first, only two minutes ahead of me, but it’s a feat he will never let me forget.


“He’s by me every day, Teddy. We are in the same house and all.” I said, barely aware of Teddy’s scoff at my comment.


“Lenora, don’t push my buttons today.” Teddy growled, the parchment crumbling slightly in his hands. I yanked it away, tucking it deep into my pocket. He glared at my movement, so I shoved my tongue out of my mouth at him (note that I didn’t say stuck my tongue out at him, that just sounds ridiculous).


“You’re just in a sour mood because you can’t get the quaffle past me and won’t today either,” I said, smirking as I took a bite of the toast that appeared in front of me.


“We’ve been up since five “warming up”. My arm is so loose that the quaffle will be flying past you so fast, you won’t even see it,” Teddy smirked at me before placing his head on the table. I smirked, putting a few pieces of bacon in my mouth and patting him on the back.


“Don’t take it to heart when you lose, mate.” I told him, but with the bacon in my mouth, it sounded more like “Dfft fakiff fer tert fen fo fooze!”


And I sprayed the back of his head with bacon pieces. He didn’t lift his head up, so I assumed he was unaware of the bacon pieces in his hair. I smirked to myself. Or maybe he was dead.


I prodded his side for good measure. No movement. What would Mum say if she found out Teddy died while I was sitting right next to him? People would think I offed him or something along those lines. His fan girls would kill me next. I grabbed his empty plate and smashed it over his head.


H let out a defining yelp, jumping off of his seat. I couldn’t explain the joy that overcame me when I saw his eyes full of life. Life that was looking like it was going to threaten mine. I smiled and jumped up to hug him.


“You’re alive!” I screamed, grabbing him around the middle, ignoring the many swear words coming from his mouth.


“If I have a concussion, so help me, Lenny-“ he started, pushing me away from him.


“Good idea, Crowley! Take out your brother before the game. No one would have seen that one coming,” Potter’s cheerful voice came. He let out a barking laugh, before sitting down and piling his face.


“We’re rescheduling if I can’t play, Potter,” Teddy grumbled, walking away from the table. James watched him walk away, chewing his pancakes with his mouth wide open.


“He’s not serious, is he? We would never reschedule,” Potter said with a scoff. Soon, the whole team was around us. On every game day, we were instructed to sit together to make us look more like a “team”. I personally thought it was for our safety, since teams always tried to off each other the morning of game day.


Slytherin was infamous for that. Alice had been cornered last year on the way down to breakfast by the Slytherins and had played a whole game with a broken rib and didn’t bother to tell us. Well, I personally think she told us, but her quiet voice was ignored by the rest of the team. It usually was.


Alice slunk into the seat next to me, sending me a small smile. I almost returned it, before feeling the weight of the letter in my pocket as I shifted. Bloody Black. Bloody Black ruining my chipper morning. Bloody him making Teddy so tired because he just had to read through the letter. Bloody Black and him making me think Teddy was dead out of shock. Bloody Black if we have to post-pone the game because Teddy has a concussion.

I looked towards Black who had a wide grin on his face. Bloody Black and his bloody grinning. I narrowed my eyes on him. He should just be blamed for all that is going wrong in the wizarding world. Hell, I’d blame him for all that is going wrong in the muggle world too.


“Mother Nature, I can melt your core.”


I nearly threw up. Black would be the reason for global warming. He probably shagged Mother Nature into making it warmer so he could take off his shirt more. Mother Nature, being a little bit on the easy side, granted his wish because she wanted to see him shirtless too.


“Bloody keep your shirt on or you’ll cause global warming, Black!” I hissed from my seat. Multiple confused eyes turned towards me, but I glowered at my plate. Bloody shirtless sod.


“Are you calling him hot, Crowley?” Remus asked, a small smirk at the corners of his lips. My face went red immediately. Did none of them see my logic?


“No! Mother Nature is a horny little bitch and shagged Black. Now she wants to keep it hot outside so that Black keeps his shirt off for her!” I explained, all the while sending Black glares. I felt the letter in my pocket and narrowed my eyes harder.


There was an awkward silence.


“Alright…well…can someone pass me the eggs?” Black asked. This was followed by consecutive growns from everyone around.


“Really? Before a match, Padfoot?” Potter asked, throwing his arms in the air in frustration.


“I could have dealt with hearing that after I had eaten.”


“Who was it?”

“You’re a pig, you know that?”


“Really-who was it?”


“That’s in the rules! No shagging before a match!”


For all that are confused, let me explain. The Marauders have this weird thing going on. It started back in fifth year when they began to realize they had Merlin-given looks. Rather than gossiping like third year girls about shagging some girl, they made a code. Sadly, it’s not a code anymore since most of the Gryffindor tower knows what it means. The code is “pass the eggs”.

Why is James mad, might you ask? Because he made a rule that you couldn’t shag someone before a match. Made you “off your game” or something like that. Personally, I found the whole thing repulsing. My stomach churned as I looked down at my plate. I pushed it away.


“Great, now I can’t eat.” I mumbled.


“Good, you were looking pudgy.” I heard Black say but I ignored his comment. My day had just gone from fantastic, to worse. And it was a Quidditch Match day.


The pitch smelt like…well…Quidditch. I can’t describe Quidditch to you, but it smells amazing. Like freshly mowed grass, along with the smell of oak and just a hint of sweat. Doesn’t sound like a good mix, but when stirred properly, you get Quidditch. Mmmm Quidditch.


My sour mood carried all the way down to the pitch. Bloody Black. He just has to ruin every part of my day. If my day isn’t in a crumble heap at my feet by noon, he isn’t satisfied. I muttered obscenities the whole time while changing into my game jumper. They were crimson, with gold trimming. Teddy had bought me matching gloves the year previous. The number four was etched into the back, with CROWLEY in large printed letters above that. It was mine. More importantly, it was not Blacks.


Put that in your juice box and suck it.


The crowd was roaring. There was a sea of red and a sea of blue all throughout the stadium. I heard boos and chants all mixed together. I couldn’t pinpoint where all the sound was even coming from. Potter turned to us, nodding for all of us to take our positions. Mine was the furthest fly, but it gave me an opportunity to break into the system.


There’s no feeling greater than flying on a broom. Imagine if you jumped out of a window and were just free-falling. Take that feeling (Before you hit the ground, obviously) and mix it with wind whipping through your hair. Mix it with complete serenity. Then you have all of this. Plus the smell of Quidditch.




I barely realized the quaffle was released. Potter had it and was heading off to the other end of the pitch. I had to shake my head to keep it from going into Lennyland a fair few times, but I managed. Potter had told me if I miss one because I’m not paying attention, I get twenty laps. TWENTY! How was that even normal?


I caught the quaffle (a really small third year had shot it straight at me, how dumb?) and prepared to wind back to throw it to a waiting Alice when I felt a sharp pain in my back and heard the audible gasp of the crowd.


“Oh that had to have hurt!” I heard the commentary of Wesley Jordan, a Hufflepuff sixth year. I cringed, but passed the quaffle to Alice, a little less power in my throw.


Suddenly, I saw another bludger headed straight at my face. I dove just in time, flipping off the Ravenclaw beaters.


“It looks like they are gunning for Crowley today, mates!” Wesley shouted. I watched as both of the Ravenclaw beaters narrowed their eyes on me. Oh this would be a fantastic game.


Please note my sarcasm.


Author's Note: 

So yes, this one took a little longer to get up, but work has been killing me. Excuses, excuses, I know.
Let me know what you guys think of the story! Huge shout out to those who are reading (if there are really any of you doing that).

THe next chapter will be epic, I promise. THis one was pretty boring, I can admit that myself. Er... Review and stuff like that? Give me ideas and such? Thanks!

Chapter 7: Bloody Match and Owl Identities
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Amazing Chapter image by calypso. of TDA!


“Oh no! Is it Slytherin out there? That can’t be Ravenclaw, can it?” I heard the commentator, but paid no attention. There were bludgers left and right, flying inches away from my ear and shattering into the stands. There were snickers and gasps and I could barely look out for the quaffle, let alone the bludgers.


Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. It was so horrendous, even the worst of Lennyland looked extremely pleasant in this situation.


I was going to murder Teddy after this game was over. Did he know how he was playing? Was he aware that his ickle sister was on the other team, getting bludgers slammed into her backside while she wasn’t looking?


Of course he didn’t. He was sodding Teddy Crowley. He probably was too focused with driving Alice off of her broom. I winced when he did this. Little Alice against my big, burley brother. How was that fair?


Ravenclaw had to have been taking pointers from Slytherin. I am very disappointed in Teddy, indeed.


As the ‘Claw chasers came closer to me, my eyes narrowed. This wasn’t Teddy’s doing, it couldn’t have been. He smirked at me, quaffle under his arm. He wasn’t Teddy, my twin brother, right now. He was the enemy. The enemy I was going to squash. Like a tiny little bug.


Ha. Teddy was a little bug. I could see the antlers coming out of his hair. It was so windswept I wouldn’t be surprised if there really were antlers under there. It would explain why he acted so normal, but was a blood Crowley. We were all weird, you see.


The chasers passed the quaffle about, shoving our chasers out of the way in the process. I winced as Potter received an elbow to the face. I may not like the lad, but I didn’t wish death upon him….or maybe I did…only when he made me run laps.


I saw Teddy’s arm wind back, staring straight at me. I could see my own dark brown eyes in his (maybe that was because we were twins?). He smirked, letting the quaffle fly from his arm and towards the hoop above me. I stretched upward, pulling my legs (and the broom obviously) with me. I almost had it, but another ball reached my arms before the quaffle.


The bludger knocked straight into my left arm, a deafening CRACK resounding through the stadium. If I thought the quaffle to my back hurt, that was nothing compared to my arm. Immediately I recoiled, cradling my now broken arm. I whined slightly when the quaffle went into the hoop.


“And Crowley scores on Crowley! That’s got to be a first for him!” I heard. Teddy was receiving pats on the back from his fellow chasers.


“TIME OUT!” Potter screeched. I nearly had to cover my poor poor ears since he was so close to me.


We all flew towards the ground and that’s when I got to see the damage that was really done. Potter was supporting a bloody nose that seemed to want to be a waterfall rather than a nose. Alice had a severely black eye, one that I didn’t want to have to look at for much longer, to be honest. Both Bagman and Black looked as though they were beat, unable to keep upright. Good, at least Black would be in the hospital wing after this. Our other chaser, Dean Higgins (a fifth year bloke), looked like he was falling apart. His eyes were watering and I could barely tell where his nose was amongst the mess that was his face. The only one who looked untouched was Michael, but that’s because Black and Bagman got specific orders to protect him at all costs.


“What are they playing at up there?!” Black yelled, his arms flailing around. He looked more and more pathetic every day. I snorted.


“Is everyone okay?” Potter asked, ignoring Black’s comment.


Okay? That was the understatement of the millennium. Well, millennium was pushing it a bit, but did he have eyes? Maybe his glasses needed to be stronger. Everyone was definitely not okay. Surviving, yes, but not okay.


“Just catch the snitch, Michael.” Alice whispered, looking on the verge of tears next to me. I patted her, but realized that I was raising my injured arm. I let out a small squeal, but received all eyes staring at me.


Sure, now they pay attention to Loony Lenny.


“Was that from the bludger?” Potter asked, moving closer to me. I felt my face go hot with all the team staring at me. I didn’t respond, but Potter grabbed my left arm gently.


“I’ll be okay!” I protested, but he proceeded to pull my padding away. Everyone around winced and Alice even let out a small shriek.


Okay, so it did look pretty bad. My whole forearm was black and blue and looked like a hippogriff’s leg, meaning to say it was huge. I looked down at my fingers, only to notice those were sausages. If I went too close to the large Ravenclaw beaters, I’m sure they’d mistake my fingers for sausages.


“Move your fingers, Crowley.” Potter growled. I looked at him, seeing his jaw set tight at the prospect of losing his keeper.


I wasn’t going to go to the hospital wing in the middle of a game! No way in hell. Merlin himself would have to drag me off my broom and even then I would put up a damn good fight. This was a Quidditch game. I wouldn’t let Teddy get the better of me.


I winced, attempting to wiggle my fingers. Nothing.


Bloody move, you fingers!


I managed to move one and that seemed good enough for Potter. He sighed, pushing himself off the ground and into the air. We all followed suit.


“And they are off again! Potter looks like he has a vendetta! I don’t blame him.” Wesley mumbled into the microphone. “Potter passes to Logan who passes back to Potter who rolls to avoid a bludger and-oh! Nearly knocked off his broom!”


I winced as I saw the chasers coming for me again. I cradled my bad arm, but braced myself. Suddenly, Teddy flew straight off of his broom and went plummeting to the ground, via a bludger from Black.


“Bloody Black!” I screamed, watching Teddy fall. Magically, he was slowed down, but would be out for a day at least.


I’d get Black for that later. That was my brother, damn it!

I saw a flash of Red and Gold zoom by me and immediately let my eyes follow it. It was Michael, beating after the snitch, the Ravenclaw seeker on his tail. I held my breath, watching for the chasers to come down field toward me.


“Boot is inches from the snitch! Ravenclaw’s seeker is right on his tail! This third year has punch! It looks like Boot caught the snitch! Gryffindor wins 200 to 40!”


It sure didn’t feel like a victory. Sure, we had won, but the whole team was in the hospital wing. Potter was muttering obscenities, as though we had just lost. He had a potty mouth, that one did. Haha, Potty mouth-Potter. Had a ring to it, it really did.


I was healed, but instructed to stay in the hospital wing over night. Bloody Pomfrey and thinking she could control me. I’ll show her! I’ll jet out to the after party as soon as she turns her back. I’m sneaky, I tell you. I should’ve been in Slytherin with how sneaky I am.


“-And we can’t even have a damn after party because the lot of you are stuck in here over night!” Potter carried on. I groaned. There goes my plan to be a sneaky Slytherin. Damn Ravenclaws and ruining it for me.


I looked at the bed across the way from me and frowned, knowing Teddy was behind the drawn curtains. Bloody Black. I thought they were friends? Not that Teddy could be violent towards me in a game, but he wouldn’t hurt a fly. Except for Alice. She was still holding an ice pack to her swelling eye that Pomfrey hadn’t gotten to yet.


“Mr. Potter, if you keep carrying on like this, I’m going to have to ask you to leave!” Madam Pomfrey scolded. Potter narrowed his eyes, but kept his mouth shut.


Eventually, the only ones who had to stay were me, Bagman, Black, and Higgins. It was near nine o’clock when Pomfrey kicked all the others out. To be honest, I hadn’t a clue what to do or who to talk to.


Teddy still wasn’t awake, but I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to talk to him. He had played a downright dirty game, something I didn’t think he was capable of even doing. He wouldn’t be called my brother…or wouldn’t for a while…until he got me lots and lots of chocolate.


I never really talked to Higgins much, but he seemed pretty dumb. He never talked in practice and when I saw him, he was shaking his long blonde hair all over the place. Seriously, what if he got some of his hair in someone’s breakfast? Or their eyes? He was just a walking danger zone.


Ludo was kind enough, but was already snoring on the opposite side of the room. Plus, he knew me as Loony Lenny or simply Crowley. I wasn’t a good socialization for him. He probably would loose a few brain cells talking to me and I’m sure he would throw a fit, seeing as how he always tried to go after Ravenclaws who thought he was the “smart and athletic” Gryffindor.


I glared at Black a few times, but he didn’t seem to notice or just didn’t want to have a row with me. Pity, I could use a good word vomit right now. I glanced at the things Alice had brought in for me (sweet girl, she really is). My cloak was there, a small bulge in the pocket. I reached for it, pulling out the letter from Black.


I immediately glowered towards him again. Stupid prick. Who did he think he was, anyways? Even if I wasn’t me, I wouldn’t give him the time of day. Yeah, he could walk up to me and even ask: “Can you give me the time of day?” and I’d shove him and say “Get a watch!”


I chuckled to myself. You have to laugh at your own jokes, really. Especially since people can’t hear in your head to laugh at them with you. Sometimes I wish people could. I wouldn’t look like such a nutter, then.


I looked at the rest of the things she brought in for me and frowned. She had placed my book bag next to my cloak, saying Lily insisted I do some work, rather than dwell on the match. Stupid Head Girl. I don’t need to remember the match in order to dwell. I have Lennyland.


Which seemed like a pleasant place right now. I looked around the hospital wing, as though I was going into super spy mode. That’s what it felt like sometimes in Lennyland. Maybe I’ll day dream about being a spy. I giggled to myself. That would be fun.


Before I could drift, I heard someone shift to my left. I looked over and saw Black roll onto his side, now facing me, but still asleep. He looked pretty innocent, just laying there. Ha. What did I know? He probably was dreaming about killing me or offing my brother. Mates, my arse.


But yet, I couldn’t stop looking. If he wasn’t talking or wasn’t conscious, I could admit he was attractive. Get rid of everything else about him, I could kind of see what other’s saw. He did have a nice skin tone, if you liked the whole tall, dark, and handsome thing. He had long eyelashes that were wrapped securely around his grey eyes. Soulless grey eyes.


I huffed, but decided to do it anyways. I was bored and when Lenny is bored, she does dumb things.


I grabbed a quill, a bottle of ink, and a piece of parchment and began to scribble.


Bloody Black,

Do you not understand? I know I’m writing in English, or at least I assume I am. Well, at least to me it looks like English. I’m not writing in a different language, am I? I thought I only knew English, but maybe I learned a new language when I dreamt. It’s a possibility, actually. Once I got a bruise in my sleep, so who’s to say I couldn’t learn a language? 

Anyways, bugger off. I DON’T LIKE YOU! Especially after today. Bloody Black and your bloody…bloodiness. And you did get bloody today. Good!

Did I make myself clear enough? 



I smiled to myself, glad to get my anger off my chest. It felt refreshing, to be honest. It was almost as good as saying this all to his face, but except now he thought that more than one person hated him.


I looked down at the letter and frowned. An owl wasn’t just going to appear out of no where, was it? I glanced over at the sleeping Black and then back down at the letter.


Fine, I’ll play owl for now.


I sat up, my hospital bed creaking beneath me. I winced, but no one stirred in the room. I crept out of my bed, feeling the urge to hoot (I was pretending to be an owl, you know), but resisted. I had to be sneaky. I’ll be the sneaky Slytherin I wanted to be.


After what seemed like ages (really only seconds), I reached Black’s bed. He looked peaceful and completely not bothered by the fact that his enemy was over him. I felt as though I should be carrying a knife, contemplating murdering him and if it was the right thing.

Who am I kidding? Murdering him would totally be the right thing to do.


I turned towards his night stand, rolling the letter up to make it look like an owl delivered it. Sneaky Lenny owl.


“What the bloody hell are you doing, Crowley?” I nearly jumped right out of my skin. Literally, I could feel it recoiling on my body and getting ready to let the rest of me hop right out.


“W-What? You bloody scared me!” I hissed in a low voice. I turned to Black whose eyes were narrowed on me, now sitting up in bed and fully awake. His eyes lingered over my face, trying to find a guilty expression before going down to my hand.


“What’s that?” He asked, pointing at the letter in my hand. Bollucks. I was caught. Caught red handed with the L.C. letter. Now he’d know.


“Uh-er..” I stuttered before he ripped it out of my hand. His eyes scanned it over and I felt my face flush with embarrassment.


Who would he tell first? Potter? They’d get a real good kick out of it. They’d probably torture me for days.


Crowley, are you breathing? 15 laps!”


“Knew all of that was bollucks! Who in their right mind would think me and Crowley would be destined?! Good joke!”


“So now you’re stealing my things? Real smooth, Crowley. Didn’t think you could sink much lower than you were, but you cease to amaze me.” Black growled.


I paused. Wait, he thought I tried to steal his letter? He didn’t actually put the pieces together? I blinked a few times before turning to my bed and sinking back into it, not bothering to respond.


If Black was that thick, so be it, I was fine with that. It meant my identity of L.C. was hidden. And my identity as a owl as well.


The owl gig was going out the window anyways. I wasn’t sneaky Slytherin enough for it.




Author's Note: 

So...err... you like it? Please let me know! I'm really loving the reviews I have so far and I understand if no one has really been paying attention to my story. I'm a bit loony, but you've got to give me some credit. Things will get more heated up!

I love everyone who has reviewed so far. Seriously. I probably wouldn't be continuing with this story if it wasn't for you guys! You give me the motivation! 

So on a lighter note... let me know your ideas for this and such. Even if your review is a simple "Haha, I love Lenny" or "Lenny's dumb, but it adds to her charm", I'll be a very happy author.

Also, tell me what you thought about the Ravenclaw Quidditch game! Was Teddy out of line? What the bloody hell was Teddy thinking? Does Potter have a small soft spot for Lenny? Ask or answer these questions! 

Chapter 8: Making the Grades and Friends
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Oh that ol' thing? made my calypso. @ TDA :D



There were three things I was absolutely sure of…



One: I absolutely hated Defense Against the Dark Arts. I would rather hide in my basement than ever have to use DADA in real life. I mean, who really uses this stuff in real life? Other than Aurors…and those bad guys…Bugger! Okay, maybe it was useful, but it didn’t mean I had to like it.



Two: There is something seriously wrong with Marlene McKinnon. She’s a Ravenclaw, but acts as though she’s a Slytherin. On the way into class she had bumped into Lily Evans (it looked pretty deliberate if you ask me) and sent her pile of books flying all over the corridor. Didn’t stop to ask if she was all right, just kept on moving into class. I swore she even snickered.



And finally, number three: I hate Sirius Black. If it was legal and I wouldn’t end up in Azkaban, he would be ten feet under. I’d probably bury him sixty feet under, just to prove my point…and make sure he didn’t rise from the dead. Zombies are very very frightening if you aren’t careful.



Number three was the only one that mattered, mind you.



The desks were still cleared out of the middle of the room, as we were still doing our DADA tournament of sorts. It was laughable, really. Everyone knew who was going to win (one of the Marauders, obviously). Why did the rest of us even try?



Because our grades depended on it. Bugger to Professor Dearborn. Couldn’t he just go back to being an Auror and leave me to getting my barely passing grades?


To be honest, I wasn’t doing half bad in the tournament. I had beaten two Slytherins in the first round, mainly because I was used to both of their curses. In the third round, the Hufflepuff girl ended up crying her eyes out, because she thought I was going to kill her. I didn’t really blame her, except I was holding my wand backwards. She would’ve won. The fourth round, the Ravenclaw tried to show off by doing a nonverbal spell, except no spell came from his wand. I managed to get one out before he realized what he was doing.



The fifth round consisted of six Gryffindors (myself, Lily Evans, bloody Black, Pothead, Remus, and Alice), two Ravenclaws (McKinnon and Teddy- who I was still not talking to), and a Slytherin (Nott). We Gryffindors, we rock this. We are like, the fighters of Hogwarts. Except I like to believe I’m a pacifist…sort of.


“Loony-I mean Lenny? You’re up!” Remus nudged me in the back, straight towards the middle of the room. I grumbled, seeing Lily Evans on the other side.



Well, goodbye good grade, nice to see you in the distance. Damn good grades liking to tease me and such. They dangle themselves in front of my face, and then yank themselves away like the teasing grades they are. Stupid teasing grades.


Evans gave me a quick once over before raising her wand. I did the same, immediately regretting not surrendering to the not-so-smart Ravenclaw. Merlin’s beard, the end of her wand looked so intimidating. It probably isn’t a good idea to look at her face…that’s probably even more intimidating.



A spell came straight at my face, whizzing past my ear. I think I just saw my life flash before my eyes. I just saw me being mean to the muggle next door neighbor when I was five. Why did I have to tell him he looked like a mongoose? Was this karma?



“Rictusempra” I whispered, trying my hardest not to let Evans hear me. She reacted slowly, the spell hitting her shoulder. She started to giggle hysterically, losing her balance and falling on the ground. She was clutching her stomach, trying to control the uncontrollable laughter. That’s why they call it uncontrollable, Ms. Evans.


“Expelliarmus,” I said smugly, watching Lily’s wand fly from her hand. Professor Dearborn immediately reversed my jinx as Lily slowly got to her feet.


“You’re dead, Ms. Evans,” he declared, turning away and crossing her name off of a large tournament board he had created.



Lily looked on the verge of tears. Her face was red with embarrassment as people were snickering at her being beat by Loony Lenny. She collected her wand, tucking it into her cloak, the whole time not bringing her eyes off of the ground. She approached me, her face now as red as her hair. I waited for the shouting, the curse, or something along those lines.



“Good job, Lenny. Completely caught me off guard,” Lily mumbled, extending her hand to me. I blinked a few times, not sure if she was joking to embarrass me back or something along those lines.



Hesitantly, I took her hand and gave it a small shake. She smiled sheepishly at me, stuffing her hands in her pockets. I shuffled out of the middle of the classroom, Lily following me. I frowned. Was she waiting for me to turn by back so she could curse me? Those muggleborns were always the sneakiest.


“Lenny?” Lily whispered from my side. I peeked over at her, letting my eyes turn away from Black going up against McKinnon.






“You should teach me that jinx…I could use it on Potter some time.” She let a small smile creep onto her face. I looked for some sign of anger or some sign that she’d blow me up when I wasn’t looking, but didn’t find it. I wasn’t very observant, however.



“S-sure.” I mumbled. Was this the start of some deformed friendship? I hoped not, friendships were too hard to keep up, too time consuming.


That’s been my excuse for years whenever Mum asks me if I have any. Teddy’s good enough for me, he doesn’t need any up-keeping. Say hello to him a few times and everything is all right. Yet, as of right now, Teddy isn’t even my friend. Great. Lonely Lenny.

That sounds much better than Loony Lenny.



Teddy hadn’t even tried to talk to me after the match. It had been nearly a week already. Albeit, I ran away from him every time he got close. I had taken to pretending to be in a deep conversation with a portrait in order to avoid him. How could he have an excuse for the match? His friends were on the Gryffindor team, hell, his sister was on the other team! Teddy wasn’t aggressive and yet he had played like he was a Slytherin.



Maybe that would be his excuse. The Slytherins hid them in a broom cupboard before the match and drank polyjuice potion so they could pose as the Ravenclaw team. That’d be a lot better than the truth: they just wanted to win.



I filed out with the rest of the class, letting myself get shoved forward as students rushed to get to their next lesson. Luckily for me, that mean free period. I felt a heavy weight on my shoulder, looking to see a large hand on it.


“Lenny, can we talk?” a voice whispered in my ear. Not in a seductive way (get your mind out of the gutters!), however. I recognized the voice immediately and felt my ears burn.



“No..and don’t think you can call me Lenny. You have to call me Crowley from now on.” I yanked my shoulder away from his gasp and tried to walk forward, but Teddy fell easily into step with me.


Damn my parents for giving me the bad genes. Teddy got everything! The looks (even though we are fraternal twins), the brains, the agility, the build, the list really could go on. Maybe Teddy really was a cheater, probably having stolen all the good genes while we were in the womb.



“That would be like me saying my own name,” Teddy said, a hint of a laugh in his voice. This wasn’t funny! I was being very very serious! I glared at him to confirm my seriousness. He simply raised an eyebrow at me.


“We are no longer family, either!” I hissed. He chuckled, shaking his dark hair into his eyes.


“Are you going to tell Mum that, or should I?” Teddy asked, smirking at me. Rotten. He had gotten me there.



“You can tell her. Then she’ll want to know why we are no longer family and then you’ll have to explain the match. Then she’ll be so shocked, she’ll agree with me and kick you out of the family. Dodger the dog likes you more though, so he’ll stick by your side. You two can live in the shed, because Dad would throw a fit if he knew you were on your own, because he would care deep deep down about you.” I rambled. Teddy raised his eyebrows past his hairline at me.


I made perfect sense! At least it did in my head.




“Listen Lenny, I didn’t know they were going to target you like that! If I would have, then I wouldn’t have allowed it!” Teddy cried, running a frustrated hand through his hair. Yeah that’s right, Teddy. Be frustrated. Be embarrassed. Be…something else. I just can’t think of another word.



“So Alice wouldn’t have been hurt then either? What about Higgins? Bagman?” I asked him. His face went pale. He hadn’t thought about that. “I thought you Ravenclaws were smart. I thought you knew what would happen if you played just as dirty as the Slytherins!”


“We-Lenny, just listen to me! Davies said we needed to win…James and Sirius tried to take out our players the week before the game! You think that’s fair?” He asked. I shook my head, trying to clear it.



“I don’t give a damn about Pothead and Black, they’re just as vile as you are right now. What I do care about was the look on Alice’s face when she flew down at the time-out, covered in her own blood!” I growled. Teddy was about to speak up, but I put my hand up, silencing him. “You owe me a lot of chocolate and a better apology.”



I went to turn away, but noticed Alice was standing a few feet behind me with Evans. They both were staring, not trying to hide the fact that they were listening. Alice glanced at my brother and cringed, obviously remembering the events of the game. She then looked at me, a smile tugging at her lips.


”Thanks, Lenny.” She whispered. Lily grabbed her arm, smiling at me as well, but shooting Teddy a nasty glare. If looks could kill, Teddy….well Teddy would have been dead when we were five and he ripped the head off of all of my Quidditch dolls.


Those were collectables!



I turned away just as fast as the girls did, darting away before Teddy could say any more.




When I got into the bedroom that night, all three girls were sitting on the floor, rolling around in fits of giggles. This happened every Friday night. They called it a slumber party. I called it hell. It wasn’t like they ever asked me to join in, so I could rest peacefully.



They all stopped when I entered the room and turned their eyes towards me. Again, another occurrence. They were so close, I never questioned it. They were probably plotting Pothead’s death. That was something I was actually interested in.



I smiled at them, remembering that I was supposed to be pleasant. Ugh. Smiling hurts my mouth a lot more than a frown does. Frowns are easy. In my mind, frowns are more attractive than a smile. Weird, but that’s why I’m Lenny.



“Like I was saying…” Mary McDonald started again, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder and grinning at the girls. Ew. Ugly.



“Hey Lenny? Do you want to join us?” Alice asked. I looked up in time to see Mary shoot Alice a nasty look, elbowing her in the ribcage.



“Uh…no, thanks.” I answered, reaching for my Quidditch Weekly magazine.


“We could really use your input, Lenny.” Lily added, smiling over at me. I peeked at the trio from over my magazine and frowned. What could they possibly need my input on?

”Well, come on then. Don’t just gawk at us. Come down here!” Mary said impatiently. I gathered my blanket around myself and sank into the empty spot in their triangle (which I had turned into a square).



“The Tornadoes?” Alice asked me, gesturing towards my embroidered blanket. I hugged it closer around me, observing her own Cannon’s blanket. I stifled my laughter.


”The Cannons have lost every game for nearly a decade!” I countered. Her face flushed pink at my comment, but she smiled nonetheless.



“It’s a family thing to love the Cannons. I think they’re horrible, but they are so modest, it just makes them a valued team.” Alice said. I could see why she liked the Cannons. She was modest, they were modest. They weren’t violent, she wasn’t violent. Perfect match.


“If by valued, you mean everyone would value them being flushed down the toilet, then yes. They are valued.” I stated. Lily giggled from my left, while Mary shot me a nasty look from my right.



“Can we discuss what we were talking about earlier?” Mary hissed. The other girls barely seemed to notice the coldness in her voice.



“Well, I think McKinnon is something else, I mean really. Who in their right mind would be dating Regulus Black?” Lily said, tugging at her red hair as she tried to tie it up in a pony.



“He is cute. What’s his problem, though? McKinnon has something stuck up her arse and wears way too much make up.” Mary commented. I snorted into my blanket very unattractively. She glared at me over the tip of her nose. For someone that talked about wearing too much make up, she was sure a hypocrite.



“I agree with Lenny’s snort, Mary. You cannot talk.” Lily added, flashing a grin at Mary when she turned her glare onto her.



“Well…at least I look good.” Mary gave me a very knowing look. I glanced at myself in the mirror behind Alice. I didn’t like make up, it made me feel like I had mush on my face. I always was tempted to itch my face or rub the eyeliner off whenever I wore make up.


“Lenny has that natural look. I like it.” Alice spoke up. Alice wore the natural look as well, only really putting on mascara to make her small eyelashes pop.



“Me too. Though you could use a little bit of eyeliner. Lenny, you have gorgeous eyes.” Lily added. I looked at her, seeing her emerald eyes shine as they met my own. I had gorgeous eyes? Mine were the color of my broomstick, nothing to be proud of.



I shrugged at her. I never paid much attention to myself, so it was a mystery to me what would look good on me and what wouldn’t. Lily popped up from her seat, running over to her nightstand and fishing around. Then she came back to us, holding a pencil in her hand.



“I’m going to show you what I mean. You guys will see it.” Lily stated, coming towards me.



“Are you going to poke me in the eye with that thing?! I thought you liked my eyes!” I declared, scooting away from the sharp object. Lily sighed as Alice giggled. Mary was still glaring at me.



“No, Lenny. I’m going to put eyeliner-“ she held up the pencil “-on your eyes. It won’t hurt.”



I whined, but was eventually coaxed into letting Lily apply a delicate amount of eyeliner to my eyes. The girls gasped, all agreeing with Lily about the whole “make my eyes pop” statement Lily was making while applying it. I looked at myself in the mirror, but all I saw was Lenny. With scary looking eyes.



“I look like a ghoul.” I stated.



“You look like you’re actually making an effort.” Mary commented. I grumbled, but held my fingers. If I wanted to get along with these girls, I couldn’t pick off the eyeliner.


“I can apply it tomorrow morning to you. We could give you a small make over or something!” Lily giggled, her face lighting up at the prospect.


”With our help, you could actually look good. As long as you don’t open your mouth. You’d ruin it right there.” Mary added.



I stuck my tongue out in the mirror. My tongue looked fine. Did Mary mean I didn’t have good teeth? I examined them in the mirror, but couldn’t find a fault in them. Sure, they were a little crooked, but nothing drastic.



“She means just don’t talk.” Alice said.


Oh…that made more sense.



A half hour later and a lot of talk of what they would do to me in the morning (I was really terrified to wake up), we all clamored into bed. I pulled my blanket up over my head and let my mind wander.



Did this mean I had friends? Could I actually discard Teddy of friend status now? Mary was giving me cold glares, but that could be because the make up was heavy on her eyes. She did wear a lot. I had to make sure they didn’t do that to me, someone could mistake me for giving them a dirty look.



I started to drift off, but not before I rubbed away the eyeliner, producing blackened finger. Bollucks, I’d have to pin my hands down tomorrow after this so called “make over”.



Author's Note: I didn't want to ever have to do this, but I want to make a little shout-out to Victory_4_Victoire for giving me the idea of the polyjuice potion for the match! I read it in her review and thought it was brilliant and had to incorporate it somewhere!

I know this is a little overdue and this chapter sucks, but it's slowly getting better. No Sirius showing up in this chapter, but there will be a lot in the next chapter with him! But Lenny's making friends, doesn't that count?!

Thank you all so much for the reviews. I wouldn't have continued if you hadn't. <3

Chapter 9: Hidden Beauty and Marlene McKinnon
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Ladies and gents, this gorgeous thing was made by calypso. @ TDA



It was five in the morning when I woke up. The girls were still completely out, something I could sigh with relief over. After the events of the night before, they all wanted to give me a makeover. I didn’t need a makeover. I liked being Lenny.



I rushed through everything that I normally do in the morning: shower, searching for a proper bra, fighting with my socks (I swear, they are alive), and brushing my teeth. I didn’t even have time to tie my shoes when I heard Lily’s alarm blaring throughout the whole room. I ran as fast as I could from the room, tripping on the way out and falling flat on my face outside of the door.




Don’t get me wrong, it would be fabulous to have some friends, but I couldn’t do the whole make up thing. Friends aren’t supposed to change you, are they? They’re supposed to…well, I don’t really know, as I’ve never had a true friend, but I think I have a general idea of what they are supposed to do. Making me wear make up was torture. Maybe they were posing as friends, but were truly enemies. You know the saying: Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer? I think this applied.



When I made it to the bottom of the stairs and into the common room, I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. No way would they come chasing after me when they had just gotten up. They’d scare half the castle with how they looked. It was quite terrifying, actually.



“Lenny…your shoes are untied…as is your tie…and your hair is-do you need some help?” I heard a voice. I turned to see Remus sitting by the fire, now standing up, holding his wand. With a wave, I felt my hair dry (and friz, thanks to Mother’s naturally frizzy hair that I got) and I felt everything start to pull itself into my body. My shoes were tied, my tie was nearly choking me, and my socks were pulled up to my knees. Remus gave me a tentative smile, pocketing his wand.


Oh thank Merlin, I thought he was going to kill me with that thing.




“What are you doing up? It’s 6 o’clock” I asked him, flopping down into an arm chair unattractively. I should really work on my elegance. I sat up a little straighter, trying my best to look sophisticated.


“I haven’t been sleeping much the last few nights.” Remus cringed. I cringed to look like I really cared. “Why are you up so early?”



“I’m a morning person…and I was avoiding being attacked by brushes and pencils that could poke an eye out.” Remus let out a chuckle at this. “They really could! Have you seen how sharp they are?”


“I take it Lily and her group have taken a liking to you?” Remus asked, raising an eyebrow as he leaned back on the couch, stretching his arms out. He looked rather cool doing that. I mimicked his moves, stretching my arms out on the arm chair, except the back of the chair wasn’t long enough. Bollucks.



“They think I’ll be more attractive if I pretty my face up and don’t talk. I like to talk!” I defended. Remus laughed at me again. Maybe he was laughing at my face. Mary seemed to think something about my face was comical.



“Lenny, I don’t think it would matter if you were made up, you’d still be you.”


“Does that mean I’m naturally ugly?” 


“No!” Remus shouted, rubbing his eyes. Great, now I made him frustrated. “It means that you’re your own kind of attractive.”



“Mooney, did you just call Crowley attractive?” Black’s voice came from the staircase. I felt my body stiffen at the sound of his voice.



I’m allowed to act weird in the mornings, okay?


“I didn’t, but she is rather attractive, yes?” Remus tried as Sirius entered the common room, tying his tie loosely around his neck. Remus gave me a raised of the eyebrow look. Was I supposed to be able to know why he was asking Black if I was attractive?



“You’re kidding me, right?” Sirius asked, leaning up against the couch. Maybe if I did that, I’d look cooler. Black always looked cooler than Remus anyways. I was following the wrong example.


Remus sighed, shaking his head at Sirius. “Just because she’s not a bleach blonde with big-excuse this, Lenny-breasts, doesn’t mean that she isn’t attractive.”



I looked down at my chest. It was normal. I would find it attractive if I were a guy. Then again, I don’t know what guys find attractive. Boobs looked funny. One was normally bigger than the other and when we get older, they will sag to our feet if they were large while we were young. So in theory, I’d prefer a small chest.


“I like my small chest!” I shouted at the pair who seemed to be in a staring contest. Sirius was wearing an expression that shouted “Are you mad?!” while Remus wore one that said “You know I’m right. Agree with me.”



Maybe I can read people better than I thought.



“You’re almost as loony as Crowley over here.” Blacked jerked his finger towards me and shook his head.


“Fine. Do your Transfiguration homework yourself.” Remus said, standing from the couch and making to move towards the portrait hole.


”Wait!” Sirius shrieked, sounding too much like a girl. I nearly laughed, but bit my tongue. Maybe if I didn’t talk, I wouldn’t get yelled at this time.



“Well then? Say it.” Remus crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at his mate. Sirius grumbled, turning and looking at me in disgust.



“Crowley, youre-“ he stomped his foot on the ground like a child and whirled around towards Remus. “I can’t lie!”


“Then don’t.” Remus shrugged.



Sirius turned back towards me and looked ready to chop off his fingers. His eyes narrowed on me, but continued with what he was saying “Crowley, you’re not ugly. You’d be…kind of…er-attractive if I didn’t loathe you.”



I felt my face grow hot at his declaration. That was sort of deep and touching. Not something I expected, but deep and touching nonetheless. I felt like I had to say something back, something that was nice, but was truthful. I furrowed my brow, before letting my mouth run wild. “You look like someone plenty of wrackspurts would be attracted to. They like nice hair. You have nice hair…but small ears. Good thing your hair hides it.” 


Remus smacked his forehead with his palm and Black looked dumbfounded. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again, only to snap it shut. I blinked at the pair, unsure what I did wrong. I complimented him, didn’t I? Shouldn’t he be happy?


“You’re doing all my Transfiguration homework.” Black growled to Remus before pushing past him and out the door.


Remus sighed, shaking his head at me. I shrugged, knowing that whatever I said would be lost to small ears like Blacks. At least I had tried. Mum said that that was what really mattered in any situation.



“Before I forget…I told Sirius I would send this letter for him, but seeing as it’s for you..well, here you go.” Remus reached into his pocket and placed a letter next to me on the armchair before leaving the common room.



I frowned, opening the letter I knew I’d regret seeing.






You say what’s on your mind, don’t you? Amazing quality, really. More people should do that. So, why do you hate me so much? The only thing I can think as to why you’d hate me was if you are or were a Slytherin (I already determined you’re in Hogwarts. You gave me enough clues for that). You aren’t a Slytherin, are you? I can’t have my parents actually being proud of me for something.



-Sirius Black



I grumbled, slamming my fists against the parchment. Yes, you can beat up a letter. It may not yell or get bruises, but it senses the pain it put you through.



“Stupid” punch “BLOODY” punch “LETTER!” slam! I felt my knuckle hit my knee with a searing pain. I nearly yelped, but bit my tongue. It was only 6:30 and people were still sleeping, so I wasn’t going to wake them. I’ve felt the fury of an awoken Gryffindor my first year and did not want to feel it again. I really thought they would want to sleep in their own bed, not on the floor under the coffee table!


I grabbed out a piece of parchment and began to scribble on it furiously.







If you weren’t aware, you aren’t nice to a lot of people. Even saying that is an understatement. Shocking to you I’m sure, some people actually don’t like you. I wouldn’t have to be a Slytherin to dislike you. In fact, I’m not! Maybe ease off the insults and deflate your head a bit. That’s my suggestion. Honestly, your head is a little large. Disproportionate to your ears.






That’s when I heard Lily yell down the stairs “Lenny come back up here, we need to do your make up!”



I dashed from the room as fast as my short legs could take me.



I didn’t stop running, either. Lily was probably a fast bugger and when I glanced at her face, she seemed like she was decent enough to leave the room and chase after me. That woman was mad, I tell you! I recalled her chasing after Potter when he had cut off one of her pigtails back in first year.


This caused me to run faster.


I rounded a corner and hit something hard, resulting in me falling flat on my butt. I felt a small pain shoot through it, being that I wasn’t fully healed from the incident a few weeks ago. Give me another reason to hate Black, why don’t you?


“Watch where you’re going!” A girl shrieked from the ground as well. I looked over to see Marlene McKinnon glaring daggers at me as she gathered up her bookbag that had spilt its contents.



“Sorry.” I mumbled, picking myself off the ground and gathering up books that were my own.



I saw the letter I was planning to send Black far too close to her for my liking. If I rushed to pick it up, she’d think that the letter was very interesting and would snatch it before I had a chance. If I wasn’t quick enough, she’d gather it up with her books and read it anyways. Either way, I was screwed. So I did the Lenny thing.



I leapt at the letter, covering it up with my body. Real smooth, I’m aware.

”What the bloody-are you really this loony or is it a morning thing?” Marlene asked, standing up from her crouched position.



I pulled the letter in to me, slowly getting to my feet. At least the letter was safe. Marlene stood a good few inches over me, her eyebrows raised up perfectly as she was scrutinizing me from under her nose. It was extremely pointy. She probably poked Regulus Black’s eyes out a few times with that honker.



“Are you going to answer me?” Marlene demanded, placing her hands on her hips.



“Am I really this loony? Why yes, that’s why they call me Loony Lenny.” I said with a shrug. She seemed to be sizing me up. Was she going to pull her wand and start a fight with me? I ran too much for today, so I’d probably just take the curse.



“What’s that?” she asked, pointing at my chest. I felt my face go red and had the desire to cover up my chest even more than it was. Why did my chest feel the need to be a conversation starter today?


“You have some too.’ I said, pointing at her own. She looked down at her own chest and groaned, shaking her head.




“No. That letter. Who the bloody hell are you writing to this early?” Marlene asked.



“You’re nosey. That could be because your nose is rather pointy and large…” I stated. She frowned at me, ripping the letter from my hands before I had a chance to react. “Hey that’s mine!”



Her eyes skimmed the paper and they got large upon reading it. Bollucks. Marlene McKinnon knew. She’d tell the whole school. I’d have to drop out of school out of embarrassment.  I’d have to move to Norway and become a yodeler. Does Norway even have yodelers? If they didn’t, I’d be out of a job and then have to live on the streets. Teddy wouldn’t care because I declared that he wasn’t family anymore. So I’d be completely alone.



You’re L.C? You? Lenny Crowley?” Marlene asked, nearly shouting. Though there wasn’t anyone in the hallway, I felt the need to shush her. “I didn’t think….wow, that’s something else.”



“I’ll go pack my bags. Do you know what country is good for a yodeler?” I asked, wondering if Norway really was a fit choice.



“Yodelers?” she asked, shaking her head. “Look…I won’t tell anyone. It’s your secret. He will find out eventually, though. When he does, I need to be there to see it. That’s my only condition with keeping this on the down low.”



I paused. No more yodeling career? No more Norway? I sighed in relief. I never had strong vocal cords to begin with. “Deal! Whatever you say. I’ll rub your feet twice a day, give you a ride on my broom-“



“No.” Marlene cut me off with a wave of her hand. Man, this girl had power. “I just want to be there when he finds out it’s you.”

I frowned. He wasn’t going to find out it was me. That was the plan all along. Did Marlene realize that? Probably not. Then I’d never have to owe her anything because he would never find out. “Alright, that sounds fine to me.”



“Good! I’ll mail this for you. Now that I know, I need to see his face at breakfast when he reads this letter!” Marlene moved past me and towards the owlery.


I looked down at my hands. Marlene McKinnon had my L.C. letter. Could be a lot worse…I could be wearing make up right now.


I didn’t make it down to the Great Hall until 7:15, something I was very upset about. Many people were already there, chatting amongst themselves. I noticed my spot was already taken by a burly looking fourth year. Damn fourth years and starting to go through puberty and getting bigger than me.


5’4 wasn’t that short! It was barely short at all! It made me amble on a broom!



The owls were arriving when I finally found a spot at the table. It was far too close to the Marauders for my liking, but it was something I could deal with. I let my eyes wander around the Great Hall and caught Marlene staring over at the Gryffindor table, eyes glued to Black. She should be eating popcorn with how much excitement she had on her face.



I glanced at Black to see his eyebrows furrowing as he read over the parchment. Surprisingly, Marlene had made it to the morning post. I wouldn’t have ever been able to run there that fast with my short legs. Damn short genes.



Black slowly put the letter in his pocket, returning to the conversation with his friends, a glazed expression on his face. Peter was waving his arms about wildly, as though he was a puppet being controlled by someone in the high Great Hall ceiling.


“-And then we could knock over the bookcases and make a mad dash for it!” Peter finished, with a big grin on his face. All the Marauders tended to ignore Peter’s ideas (which I thought were actually pretty brilliant). Potter rolled his eyes at Peter, before returning to his food.



“I don’t know, mate. Seems illogical.” Remus said, patting Peter on the back. Peter looked crestfallen at his mates’ comments.



“Actually, it’s a good idea.” Black said, looking straight at Peter. Everyone around seemed to turn towards him.



“R-really?” Peter asked. Sirius nodded his head, poking his sausage on his plate a little too violently.




“Yeah. We’ll try it out this weekend.” He said, not looking up from his sausage. Peter’s face lit up with excitement and I felt that my eyes could not leave Black’s face. Was he really just nice to Peter?



I felt someone yank me up from my seat and drag me away from my plate. My stomach groaned in protest as I followed its example and shouted “My food needs me!”



“Shut up, Crowley.” Marlene whispered fiercely. I turned just as we entered the Entrance Hall and glared at her. No one disrupts me eating my food. Ever.



“Oh you shut up, McKinnon! Those pancakes looked delicious! And my toast was sitting in my pumpkin juice getting soaked! It would’ve tasted wonderful!” I shrieked. Marlene suddenly burst into a fit of laughter, clutching on to her side.



I didn’t see what was so funny. Nothing was funny about me not getting my food. Absolutely nothing.



“Crowley, you’re funny. A bit of a nutter, but funny.” Marlene said when her laughter subsided. “He’s taking your advice from your letter. He’s being nice.”


I frowned. Black was taking my advice? This was a horrible joke. First, he was complimenting me and now he’s taking my advice? Albeit, he didn’t know it was my advice, but still. This was weird. Even for me.



“He just honestly thought Pettigrew’s idea was good, that’s all.” I told her. She huffed at me, grabbing me by my elbow as people started to leave the Great Hall, and pulled me into a secluded corner.



“No, he’s listening to L.C. It’s like you have power over him. You’re the first person to have power over him in a long time, Crowley. I’d take advantage of that.” Marlene smirked at me.



“How?” I asked. I never said I’d do it…just consider it.



“Crowley! What the hell are you doing by my girlfriend? Trying to infect her with your disease?” A loud booming voice came from behind me. Regulus Black came up, wrapping his arm around Marlene’s waist.



“We were just talking, Reg.” Marlene whispered, losing her strong demeanor.



“Crowley, keep your dirty Gryffindor fingers away from my girlfriend.” Regulus growled.



I was about to open my mouth when I felt a strong hand on my shoulder, shoving me to the side. I looked up to see Remus shooting me an apologizing look and all the Marauders towering in front of Regulus and his mates. Marlene sauntered over to me, crossing her arms.



“This will be good.” She said, smirking at me.


No, this definitely would not be good. Far from it.



Author's note: So, I know the last few chapters haven't been amazing...bare with me! It's getting better. If I'm losing my light tone, please please please let me know!

I'm very happy to say that I'm working on this story a lot more frequently. Thank you all for reviewing! I got the inspiration today to post this because Daniel Radcliffe was interviewed on my local radio station. It was a 30 second interview, but did me in!

Review and ask me questions. Let me know what you think!

Chapter 10: Chocolate Apologies and Male PMS
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this amazing chapter image of ludo bagman was made by nala @ TDA



I could see the veins popping out of Regulus’s throat. Really, I thought they would burst at any moment. I backed up slightly, just to make sure I didn’t get blood on my uniform. I’m sure McGonagall would throw a fit if I had a spot on my tie. She’d probably kick me out of Hogwarts and make sure I never got a job.

All over a little blood on my tie.

Black…err…Sirius was only a few inches taller than Regulus, but seemed to be taking that to his advantage. It looked like Sirius was contemplating eating Regulus. In all reality, he probably was. Would get rid of the little brother problem, not to mention it would be another reason his family would hate him (which he sees as a plus). I don’t understand it, really. How could one be happy that their family hated them?

See, Sirius is more of a nutter than me.


Marlene was staring at the group as though she was watching the Quidditch World Cup. But it seemed far more entertaining to her. Her eyes were nearly out of their sockets and she was rocking on the soles of her shoes.


This was not good! They were going to kill one another!

Not that that would be bad….I would be fine if Black was gone. And if the other Black was gone, I wouldn’t feel guilty every time I saw him and was reminded how happy I was that Sirius was gone. Was it right? Probably not. Still, it would be sort of pleasant to know they were gone.

Gone. Not dead. I’m not that sadistic.


“Keep your kind away from my girl!” Regulus growled, stepping forward, not the least bit intimidated with Sirius’s high advantage.

Sirius laughed harshly in his face. He even did the dramatics of letting his head roll back. A little to the extreme, but I’d let it continue, seeing as how I had a feeling I was supposed to side with my house.


“Sorry that you can’t control your girlfriend, mate. Not a good little slag, is she?” Sirius barked. Before I could even blink, Regulus had his wand trained on Sirius’s neck. Just as fast, Potter, Remus, and Peter had their wands trained on Regulus. In tern, this caused all of Regulus’s friends to have their wands pointed at the Marauders. This gave Sirius enough time to get his wand out as well.

I grabbed out my own wand, holding it loosely at my side. I felt bare without it, especially if spells were about to be thrown. Marlene looked down at my wand, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Why is your wand out?” She asked me, not the least bit fazed by what was going on in front of her.


“Shouldn’t you be concerned that Black just called you a slag? Not if I have my wand out or not?” I asked her. She just shrugged.


“I’m used to it. I’m a bit of a slag.” Marlene was so nonchalant about it, you’d think that she was talking about the weather or our Charms homework.


Bollucks, I wouldn’t know the Charms homework even if she tried to bring it up in conversation. I’d be horrible at conversations.


”Take that BACK!”

”Not my fault she’s a slag! Should’ve picked a better girlfriend!”


“He probably wanted Snivellus, but McKinnon threatened to out him.” Potter snickered.

“Just because you can’t get anyone-“ Snape started, but was cut off by Potter’s harsh laugh.


I can’t get anyone? That’s a joke, right? Coming from the man who was caught wacking off last year in the back corner of the library-“ It was Snape’s turn to cut him off.


“I was studying!” he shrieked.


“This isn’t about you, Severus. Or you, Potter.” Regulus growled, keeping his glaring eyes on Sirius. I fiddled with my wand in my hand, not sure what I was supposed to do. Was I to intervene?


“And who is it exactly between, Reg? Me and you? What are you going to do, curse me?” Sirius raised his eyebrows, daring Regulus to do something. I counted the numbers. It was three against four.


The Gryffindors were all seventh years and all very well-known for their curses. There were two seventh year Slytherins: Snape and Nott. Snape may have been good with his wand, but Nott was an oaf. As I’ve stated before. Regulus was decent, but still outnumbered.


“Just keep Crowley away from my girlfriend.” Regulus growled, obviously feeling defeat.


“I’m not the one that approached your girlfriend.” I said. Suddenly, all eyes turned towards me. I felt Marlene stiffen next to me.

”Why would Marlene approach you?” Regulus asked, but he wasn’t looking at me, he was staring at Marlene.


Marlene was as stiff as a broom. A broom that hadn’t been used in ages. She was contemplating her answer very carefully, knowing how to pick her words. I wish I could do that, I always just blurted things out. Marlene let out a sigh.


Would she tell them the real reason she had approached me? Because I was L.C.? I was royally screwed. Marlene was a strong girl and very dominant, but as she had shown earlier, she seemed to sink under Regulus’s pressure. She was just a pawn to him.


She would definitely tell him.


“I didn’t want to have to say it…” Marlene practically whispered. Her eyes looked at me apologetically.


Bollucks. I better prepare to run. I looked for my nearest escape before I heard Marlene speak again. I closed my eyes.

“Crowley’s horrible at Transfig. McGonagall is making me tutor her. I was arranging time for us to meet.” Marlene told the group. Oddly enough, no one seemed shocked by her answer. Was I really that stupid to them?


“Come on, Marlene.” Regulus growled, pocketing his wand. Marlene shot me a quick wink and smirk before tucking herself under Regulus’s wand and sauntering away with the group.


I let out a sigh of relief. Good, no fighting. If someone were to become seriously injured, I wouldn’t have to be to blame. Because normally I was. Someone would’ve tripped over me and cut their head open. That would’ve been my fault.


“Why do you have your wand out, Crowley?” Sirius asked me, all the Marauders facing me now.

I looked down at my hand, seeing it clutching my wand. I looked like an idiot to them, I was sure. It happened a lot, to be honest.

“I thought…well…er…” I started, but just ended up shrugging. I didn’t have an explanation that would suffice.

“Just…stop talking to McKinnon.” Potter said, rubbing his eyes and walking away. Sirius paused, narrowing his eyes on me, before following Potter away. Peter scurried off like I was going to eat him.


I probably would. I was hungry.

I went back into the Great Hall to see all the food gone. My stomach groaned in protest. I cannot believe I missed breakfast! The most important meal of the day! Now I was without it.


I could just tell today was going to be a horrible day.

I went to exit the hall when I saw Teddy standing in front of me, a sheepish grin on his face. My eyes lit up upon seeing what was in his hands. Chocolate. Mounds and mounds of chocolate.


I leapt forward, devouring the cauldron cake that was actually unwrapped. I had made the mistake of eating the wrapper a few years back and Teddy made sure to unwrap every cake before he gave it to me. The chocolate melted in my mouth and I felt bliss sweep over me. Nothing better than food.


Absolutely nothing.


As I polished off a licorice wand, I could feel Teddy’s eyes on me. He was waiting for me to accept his apology. Like bollucks I would! Just because he brought me candy…okay, it did taste delicious and he had extremely good timing, but that didn’t mean I was happy with him.


“Am I forgiven?” he asked tentatively. I looked down at the licorice wand in my left hand and the cream canary in the other.


“No. I didn’t hear my apology.” I told him. He groaned, but got down on one knee. I hope he wasn’t proposing. I think it was against the law to marry your sister.


“Dearest Lenora Crowley!” he shrieked. I heard his voice crack. “I have done you wrong! I have not only betrayed my friends, but my own baby sister.” A few people were snickering as most of the remaining hall watched. “I ask forgiveness from thee and ask that you treat me like scum, but like your brother.”

He stayed down on one knee. I stroked my chin, contemplating his apology. With that, I leapt at him, knocking him to the ground in a Teddy-bear hug. He let out an “UMPH!” as he hit the ground, but started laughing immediately.

“I’m sorry, Lenny.” He whispered in my ear.

We both stood up, me grinning from ear to ear. It was the candy talking, but that I didn’t mind. “You’re not forgiven. I just need a friend.” I told him.

He swung his arm around me as we exited the hall. Though I didn’t excuse his behavior, he was my brother. Blood is thicker than a quaffle. Maybe not, but I don’t have to make sense. I’m Lenny.


As it was almost the end of October, the only other Quidditch Match of the section was Slytherin versus Hufflepuff. Everyone knew who would win, but that didn’t mean us Gryffindors wouldn’t support Hufflepuff. We always supported whoever was playing against Slytherin. It was tradition. Just like they would support anyone who played us. Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were always impartial.

I wrapped my yellow scarf tightly around me as Teddy and I made the trek down towards the Quidditch Pitch, talking as though we had never had a fight. That was the good thing about having siblings as friends; no matter what, things could always go back to normal. As long as he continued to apologize with chocolate.

Anything could be fixed with chocolate.

We squeezed into a spot in the Gryffindor stands, surrounded by a sea of yellow. If I was in the sky, I would swear that there was a second sun and that it as closer to the ground than normal. The other team would probably win at me debating if it was a sun or not.

Good thing we weren’t playing Hufflepuff for a few months. I had time to prepare for this.


“Bagman’s younger brother is apparently the talk of this game.” Teddy rambled on. Ludo’s younger brother, Otto, was on the Hufflepuff team. He had actually made Hufflepuff a decent team. Still not a worthy opponent, but better than a few years ago.

Otto wasn’t hard on the eyes, either.

“Talking about my brother, huh?” Ludo said from behind us. I turned and flashed him a small smile, only because I had to be polite to my team. Smiles hurt my face more than a frown did.


“He’s brilliant and you know it!” Teddy exclaimed. Ludo’s face lit up as he laughed. His eyes wrinkled at the corners and the smile looked extremely natural on his face.


“Taught him everything I know!” Ludo said, giving Teddy a clap on the back. The two shared another chuckle before turning towards the game again. 


“Are we going to Hogsmeade together tomorrow?” I asked Teddy as both teams kicked off into the air.

“Well…” Teddy didn’t meet my eyes.


“Well, what?” I asked, placing my hands on my hips. Teddy and I always went to Hogsmeade together. At least the first one. He normally found dates after the first one and I normally stayed at the castle because it just got too bloody cold to go that far.

“I sort of-er…have a date.” Teddy mumbled so quiet that I had to lean forward to hear him.


“A date?!” I exclaimed.

“Lenny, don’t overreact about this.” Teddy whispered, his eyes darting around to those who had turned to us. You’d think he’d get used to it with my large mouth.


“Who is it?” I asked, crossing my arms. I always had the right to judge his girlfriends. 

“She’s just a date. We aren’t together.” He said, looking towards the game. I paid it no mind. This seemed more important.


“Theodore Crowley! Tell me!” I shrieked. He groaned, but turned towards me.


“Mary McDonald.” He whispered, making sure no one heard him.


“McDonald?!” I shrieked. He let out a groan again as a few people began to whisper. It’s not that I didn’t like Mary, but she just…well…she was a bit of a nutter. That’s saying a lot when I admit someone is a nutter.

“Someone say my name?” Mary chimed in from below us. She turned, sending Teddy a wink. I immediately glared at her. She wasn’t good enough for Teddy. She wore way too much make up, thought of herself too highly, and didn’t appreciate Quidditch enough.

You weren’t good enough for Teddy if you didn’t appreciate Quidditch.


“What does she have on you? Did she find out about your birth mark? It’s not that embarrassing.” I proclaimed, to which Teddy slapped his hand to his forehead.

“I’d be willing to see how embarrassing it is.” Mary said with another wink in Teddy’s direction. She probably wasn’t even winking. She probably had a twitch in her eye. That made more sense.

Ludo coughed from behind us. No one was paying attention to the game at this point, rather watching me stare at Teddy with wide eyes. “Lenny, how about we accompany these two tomorrow?” Ludo said casually.

“You are not dating my sister!” Teddy shrieked, quite like a girl.

“You sound like a girl.” I told him. He glared at me. Well, it was the truth.


“It won’t be a date. She’s obviously not comfortable with you going on a date with Mary. So why not give your little-“ I growled at him, but he continued as if nothing happened “-sister some peace of mind and let us tag along.”


Ludo seemed so nonchalant about it. He seemed confident. Mary was staring at him awe-struck and Teddy looked ready to rip his head off. It was a good idea. Mary wouldn’t put her filthy hands on my brother. He was innocent! Well, not really. He was pretty far from innocent, but I liked to think he was still innocent! She wasn’t innocent with her dirty make up and trying to make me wear it!


She’s my enemy now.

Oh, I was definitely tagging along with Ludo.


“It’s a date!” I said, a goofy grin spreading on my face. Everyone around looked awe-struck at my declaration.


“It’s not a date!” Ludo put his hands up in defense as it looked like Teddy was about to rip his face off. No bother. I could do this with our without Ludo.


Yes, I’d sabotage. Sweet, sweet sabotage. Mary, you are in for it. I hope your make up eats your face at night. Do you wash it off at night? Well, if you do, then it will eat your face during the day. You’ll be consumed by it. It might not like eating your face, since let’s face it, you’re pretty ugly underneath all of it, but it will suffice. 

Mary, you’re going down.


“Bagman, you’re going on a date with Crowley?!” I heard Potter shriek.


“It’s not a date!” Ludo shrieked back. Well, I wasn’t that ugly, was I? Maybe it was because I smell? I sniffed my underarm. Nope, I smell nice.


“Could be worse.” Sirius mumbled from his spot. Maybe Marlene was right. Maybe I was getting through to him. “Could have a date with the Giant Squid. That’s about as worse as it gets.”


Marlene was wrong. So horribly wrong

I heard a cheer irrupt around me and looked to see Otto Bagman, Ludo’s brother, holding the snitch in clutched hand, his teammates surrounding him in the air. Looked like he was going to fall off his broom.

“Lenny…this isn’t a date, okay? I’m just…trying to help you out.” Ludo said, amongst the celebration around us.

“I’ve seen weirder things.” I told him, pointing at the sky where Hufflepuff was doing a victory lap. Ludo shrugged, but looked nervously at Teddy, who seemed to have forgotten of tomorrow’s date already.


“I just don’t want my head cut off, you know?” Ludo whispered, as everyone started to leave the stands. Teddy mumbled something that I couldn’t understand. I think he said he was going swimming.


Or something along those lines.


Ludo ran a hand through his thick blonde hair and smiled down at me. Yes, down. He’s a good head taller than me. It would be quite awkward if tomorrow really was a date. Though let’s be honest, I’ve never had a decent date in my life.


Ludo wouldn’t be my first choice of a date, but he wouldn’t be my last. He’s obviously gorgeous and plays Quidditch, so that’s a plus. The downside is that he doesn’t know a nargle from a firefly. Honestly, who couldn’t spot the difference? He looks at me funny and laughs at Black’s jokes about me all the time.


“You’d probably have your hands cut off. I know Teddy better than that.” I said thoughfully. Ludo glanced around, seeing that the stands were empty.


“Yeah, well…I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” Ludo said, leaning towards me and in one swift motion, kissed my cheek. I wouldn’t have felt it if he hadn’t have made my face incredibly warm with that one movement. He scooted away from me and down to the stairs before I could wrap my head around things.

I had a date with Ludo Bagman? No, it was not a date. It was a tag along on Mary and Teddy’s date. Mary was going down. I’d tackle her if she tried to shag Teddy. She’d probably try to do it right in the middle of the Three Broomsticks. Slag.


“So a date with Bagman, eh?” I heard a voice. I spun around, oblivious to the fact that I was still in the stands and obviously not alone. Black was at the top of the stands, just now making his way down. I narrowed my eyes immediately on him.

“It’s not a date.” I growled at him. He raised his eyebrows, but brushed past me anyways.


“Sure didn’t look like it. Have fun, then.” He said, leaving the same way Ludo did.


Black was nice to me? Since when?


I think all boys are PMSing. Except they all do it the same week. First, Teddy breaks our Hogsmeade trip by going on a date with Mary. Second, Ludo Bagman asks me out on a “not date”. Lastly, Black is semi-nice to me. By semi-nice, I mean he didn’t yell or call me names.

Definitely the male version of PMS.


Author's note: So, what do you think? Not a lot to do with the plot, but I'm building on it! I'm really loving the reviews I'm getting. I have a lot of views! I don't remember how many, I just know it was a lot.

I know I'm just randomly throwing in a few people, but please bear with me! It'll pick up pace soon. :D Ludo Bagman--if you aren't sure who he is, he is actually a canon character! 

By the way, I do respond to reviews. I'm not sure if anyone reads them, but sometimes, I give hints as to what is coming up in the next chapters.. just an fyi.


Chapter 11: Intimidation and Costumes
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Great chapter image made by nala @ TDA



”What does one wear to a not date?” I asked myself aloud. I was staring at my trunk, unsure of what I was supposed to put on my body. I had the general idea of clothes, but that was about it.
“Need help?” Lily asked from her spot by the mirror. She was trying to fluff up her hair with her fingers. I wasn’t aware you could do that.

“What color says ‘I hate you and want your make up to eat your face’?” I asked her, since Mary had left the dorm room. I felt it wouldn’t be a good idea if she was here and I was trying to find a way to sabotage her date with my brother.

“Probably red.” Lily said absent-mindedly. Nice point. Red was like blood. Blood said I hated you. Or something along those lines.

I really didn’t care if I looked charming or not, that wasn’t the point. I needed to look intimidating. I’m not sure how to do that, but Lily had said that red was intimidating. Made sense, because her hair made her look quite intimidating.

I made it down to the Entrance Hall where we had all agreed to meet. I was told to not eat breakfast. This was a crime! This was not a tag-along, it was a torture chamber. I would kill Teddy before the day was over, I was sure. Or maybe I’d kill Mary. Yeah, Mary made more sense to kill. She’d corrupted my poor twin brother.

I looked around and spotted all three talking near the door. I scooted my way over to them. They all turned to me. Immediately, Teddy burst into laughter and Mary seemed like she had seen a ghost. That wouldn’t surprise me, but that’s because I’m not dumb and see them all around Hogwarts. Stupid Mary.

“Lenny, what are you wearing?” Ludo asked, looking at me with an amused expression on his face. I looked down at my outfit. It was perfect!
“I’m trying to look intimidating.” I whispered to him so that Mary wouldn’t hear. I had chose to wear my Gryffindor fitted sweater that was all red. I had even charmed my pants to be bright red. I topped it off by charming my shoes red too. I thought it was the perfect plan.

“You look ridiculous, Lenny!” Teddy said through his howls of laughter. I frowned.

“Let me help you.” Ludo whispered. He pulled out his wand and with a wave, my jeans were back to their normal color and my shoes were black once again.

“Well, this isn’t intimidating.” I gestured towards my outfit.

“At least you won’t make us look insane for being seen with you…though we already are going to.” Mary mumbled. I glanced at Teddy to see if he had heard her comment, but he hadn’t. Or he was ignoring it.

“Let’s go, hmm?” Ludo grabbed my shoulders and guided me out into the October air. This was the only Hogsmeade trip that I would go to. The others were just too much of a trip in that cold weather. That’s why I was never irked when Teddy had dates for those ones, but this was completely different. Teddy was my date for the first Hogsmeade trip, not Mary’s.

Mary was chatting away with Teddy, nearly ripping his ear off in the process. I didn’t need to see Teddy’s face to know that he was trying not to cringe. He hated girls who talked more than me. Ludo and I were walking just behind them and Ludo made multiple gagging faces behind the pair. Which made me laugh rather loudly.

Mary kept shooting me nasty glares over her shoulder, obviously miffed that we were crashing their date. No matter to me, I was ready to ruin it. Even if I didn’t wear enough red, I still think I could intimidate Mary enough. I was the little sister, after all. It was my job to intimidate potential girlfriends. Especially ones I don’t like.

“So Madame Puddifoot’s sound good?” Mary said. Teddy and Ludo shared a fearful look with me. This girl really was nutter.

Teddy, do you hear this girl?!

Okay, so maybe my twin telepathy doesn’t work. It was worth a try.

“I was thinking just the Three Broomsticks.” Teddy mumbled.

“Yes, sounds like a plan! Let’s go!” Ludo jumped in before Mary could object. Bless these boys and their common sense.

As we got into the Three Broomsticks, we realized just how crowded it was. Obviously the whole male gender had taken their dates here to avoid Madame Puddifoot’s. Smart children. We managed to squeeze our way through tables (I knocked over multiple pumpkin juice glasses), finding one of the recently vacated booths. I squeezed in, expecting Teddy to come in next to me, but he went directly across from me.

That’s right, he has a date. Bloody Mary.

Mary tucked herself right under Teddy’s arm. She basically grabbed it and flung it over her shoulders. I glared immediately. Teddy was not a puppet, you don’t make him cuddle with you in a booth.

Ludo ran off to grab our drinks, obviously feeling the tension. I cleared my throat, ready to do my intimidating. “So what are your intentions with my brother, McDonald?” Yes, I had just pulled out the surname card. This meant business.

Teddy would have spit out his butterbeer had Ludo returned with them yet. Mary smirked at me, obviously expecting this. Bollucks. “Oh, I think you know.” She said with a wink. She nuzzled herself closer to Teddy. I nearly gagged.

"I'd like exact words." I told her. "I want to quote you when I owl Mum about you."

Teddy’s eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. Mary looked incredibly uncomfortable now. Mum always wanted the best for both of us. She claimed that the two of us should get married, if it were legal. Gross, but she’s weird. People think that’s where I get it from. I don’t see it.

“Lenny-“ Teddy said, but I cut him off.

“No, I wanna hear this.” It was my turn to smirk at Mary as she looked down at her hands. Her eyelashes were drawn over her eyes, trying to think of a good answer.

“Tell your Mum that I find Teddy a charming, sweet young lad. I think we have great potential.” Mary said, staring at me right in the eyes as though daring me to differ. I smirked, however. This was just what I wanted to hear.

I looked at Teddy to see his face was incredibly pale. His brown eyes were about ready to fall off of his face. If there was one thing Teddy was afraid of, it was of a clingy girlfriend. He hated them, but was more afraid of them than anything. My smirk grew. I’m better than I thought.

“Had to bloody elbow a third year out of my way. They are getting worse every year.” Ludo grumbled, pushing a butter beer to each of us. He looked around to see the odd expressions on everyone’s face. “What’d I miss?”

“N-nothing!” Teddy squeaked. I smiled, sipping my butter beer. I felt evil, like I could break up the best of couples. Just call on me, boys, when you need help getting rid of your girl. I’ll bring out her worst.

“Oi, boys!” Someone called from across the pub. That’s when we saw Black and-wait, who was that? Sally? Shelly?

“Mind if Amelia and I join you?” he asked, finally reaching our table. Amelia Bones, Hufflepuff, and the Quidditch seeker. Except her face sort of looked like a squirrel and she looked like she had acorns tucked into her cheeks at the moment. Probably about three per cheek.

Ludo immediately pulled me over, welcoming the two. Squirrel squeezed into the spot next to me, Black going opposite her. I grumbled. She’d probably stuff me into her cheeks and walk away as though nothing happened. I’d have to remember to keep a close eye on her.

“Hey Lenny.” Squirrel said to me, sending me a tentative smile. I narrowed my eyes. I suppose red wasn’t as intimidating as Lily had told me. I decided not to respond.

Everyone fell easily into conversation, talking about Quidditch and pranks. I didn’t bother to join in. I felt as though I was surrounded by enemies. If I was closterphobic, I’d be hyperventilating right now. Mary was diagonal from me, Teddy was across from me, Black was diagonal from me, Squirrel was to my left and Ludo was to my right .I felt as though they were all out to get me. I’d have to be on my toes.

I felt something brush against my leg and I froze. Were there rats in this pub? Surely not. That could explain why everything was so cheap, though. I felt it brush my leg again, but this time, slightly lower and it lingered there, rubbing her leg up and down. It felt unnatural, not like a rat. A rat wouldn’t be climbing my leg, would they?

I blinked a few times and subtly peeked under the table. It was a shoe rubbing my leg. Not just any shoe, it was Black’s shoe. Was he trying to play footsie with me?! I looked at his face, seeing him looking at Squirrel and chatting her up.

“My leg is not there for your convenience, Black.” I hissed. The whole table looked at me curiously while I saw Black’s face turn a shade of red.

“Err..I thought it was Amelia’s.” He mumbled. I scoffed immediately and glanced sideways at Squirrel…aka Amelia.

“My legs aren’t twigs. Thought you’d realize the difference.” I hissed.

“Lenny.” Ludo hissed in my ear, but I ignored him as Sirius’s face turned redder in embarrassment.

“Sorry, Crowley.” He whispered, looking down into his own butterbeer.

Wait, did he just apologize to me? I was expecting a fire-back, an argument, or the infamous Sirius/Lenny fight. He didn’t even take the opportunity to make fun of my legs. I had given him the perfect opening!

“You okay? You feeling sick?” Teddy asked Black, placing a hand on Black’s forehead to check for a temperature. Black swiped his hand away, attempting to hide behind his long bangs.

“Feel fine, mate.” He grumbled.

“Don’t look fine. Look like you’re constipated…that’s your natural face, though.” I chimed in, sipping my butter beer with a large smile. The letters seemed like nothing right now.

“Lenny!” Ludo hissed again in my ear. I stared at Black expectantly. His jaw was clenched and he was trying very hard to keep a retort back.

“Hey, I have an idea!” Mary chirped. All eyes turned towards her, as it was obvious she was trying to divert attention.

“What’s that, Mary?” Teddy asked, obviously just as relieved. I sighed, getting deprived of my argument time.

“Well, I have to meet Lily and Alice to go shopping for Halloween costumes. Why don’t you two girls join us?” Mary said. I wanted to laugh, to call her evil, or to tell her that she couldn’t be offering this to me. I was wearing red! I was supposed to be intimidating. Instead, Teddy chimed in for me.

“Lenny sure will!” Teddy cheered.

“I will?” I asked. Obviously our twin telepathy was very off.

“Of course!” Teddy shot me a glance before smiling at Mary.

“I-I have to go meet my friends actually.” Squirrel whispered. She got up, but not before pecking Black on the cheek. He seemed unfazed by this movement and didn’t respond to her departure. He was still glaring at his hands.

“Shall we, Lenny?” Mary asked, getting up and gathering her large bag. I winced, but got up nonetheless.

“You should probably go to the bathroom, Black.” I told him, but got up all the same with a goodbye to Teddy and Ludo.

Once we got out of the pub, Mary’s face fell into a scowl. She started to speed walk and put distance between us. Fine by me, I couldn’t think of anything to say to her either. Once we were outside of the holiday shop (it changed what it sold for every holiday), Mary spun around, her eyes narrowed on me.

“Let’s get something straight: I don’t like you. I only invited you because it looks good to Teddy. Just pick out your costume and leave.” Mary growled. I raised my eyebrows. She wasn’t wearing red, so she didn’t look as intimidating as me.

“What are you going as?” I asked her as we entered the shop. Lily and Alice were already looking at costumes in the front of the store. Mary huffed, not bothering to answer my question.

“Oh! Hi Lenny!” Alice said, spinning around to see me. Lily shot me a smile, going back to holding up a healer’s uniform that looked like it would not reach protocol in St. Mungo’s.

“What do you think?” She asked. The other two agreed immediately, telling her how amazing she would look. I shuffled nervously, but nodded. Maybe I wouldn’t have to give my opinion if all I did was nod.

I hated shopping. The only reason I had not ran off when we had left The Three Broomsticks was because I actually did need a costume. On Halloween, we were allowed to wear Halloween costumes to our classes. Afterwards, someone always held a party. I loved fire whiskey. That was why I went to the parties too. Last year I had gone as Merlin. No one thought it was as funny as I did. I looked a lot like Merlin.

“Lenny, you’d look great in this!” Lily squealed, holding up a fairy costume that looked like it would cover my chest and that was it. Literally.

“I think I’ll pass.” I said, looking at a costume of a gorilla. Now that’s a costume.

“She couldn’t pull that off. She wouldn’t have the guts, Lily.” Mary chimed from across the aisle. She was examining a very promiscuous elf costume. That’s not how elves look at all.

“I sure could pull something like that off. I just prefer to look sane.” I told her, sticking my nose in the air. She snorted very unattractively. What did my brother see in her?

“You sane? That’s funny. You went as Merlin last year.” So? “I’ll make a deal with you, Crowley. I pick out your costume and you pick out mine. If you chicken out, you do my homework until Christmas. If for some reason I chicken out, I’ll do yours.”

I stared at her for a while. What if she picked out something that I couldn’t even wear to school? Where’s the fun in that? Halloween is about dressing up and looking your scariest or most clever. Not like a slag like Mary thought. Yet, Mary was brilliant in class. I could sure use a good few grades, since it was my last year and all. Plus, I’m sure I could pick out something she would never wear.

“Deal.” I told her, turning towards the costumes. Mary snickered, but went on looking for herself.

What would be a good pick for Mary? Well, something that did not show off her figure. Something that was scary. I reached forward, grabbing a dark cloak off the rack. It had a picture over the front with a mask hanging from it. A dementor wasn’t good enough. I looked through a few more, not finding something that sufficed enough.

That’s when I saw it. The perfect one. The gown was ripped and shredded, something that would hang on her very unattractively. It came with a long fake nose and a wart on top of that. The wig was tangled and messy. It showed a picture on the front of what muggles assumed was a witch. I smirked. Perfect.

“Oh no! Mary is going to flip!” Lily said from behind me, a large smile on her face as she saw the costume.

That’s the plan, Ms. Evans.

“Here.” I told her, handing Mary the costume. Her face visually paled upon seeing it.

“Fine…but here’s yours.” She handed me what looked like cloth. I stared down at it, not sure if there was more to it.

It was Quidditch robes, except it really wasn’t. The shorts would barely cover my arse and the top was more of a sports bra than a practice jersey. Not to mention, the top tied right in between my chest. The cloak only went as long as the shorts did and didn’t button up at all. It even came with fishnet stockings (who wears those during Quidditch?).

Needless to say, it was a slag costume.

“I cannot wear this.” I said, handing it back to her. She smiled, but didn’t take it from me.

“Well, it’s that or my homework. Your choice.” Mary said. I grumbled, stomping my feet like a child.

If Teddy had any sense, he wouldn’t have picked Mary McDonald as his date. If I had any sense, then I wouldn’t have went along with Ludo. Us Crowleys clearly had no sense whatsoever.

“Fine.” I told her.

We all paid and went to leave when all four Marauders entered the shop. Lily groaned and went to hide, but Potter came up to her immediately, a large grin on his face. I almost felt bad for her…almost.

“Evans! What costume are you wearing for me, then?” he asked, looking down at her bag.

“It is most definitely not for you.” Lily hissed, crossing her arms. Her hair really did make her look intimidating. Maybe it was the Head Girl thing…who knew.

“What’d you guys get?” Remus asked. Immediately, Lily pulled out her costume for Remus to see. He was the only tolerable Marauder, after all. The other two girls followed suit.

“A healer, a fairy, and-“ Black paused, his eyes bulging as they reached Mary’s costume. I smirked in triumphant and she shifted uncomfortably. “A muggle witch?”

“Well…er…look at Lenny’s!” Mary pointed directly at me, making all the boys turn towards me. Bollucks.

“Merlin again this year, Crowley?” Potter asked, peeking at my bag.

“No.” I mumbled, but knew I would have to show them nonetheless. I pulled it out and saw all their eyes bulge at the exact same time. Peter even tilted his head to the side. I felt insanely violated.

“That’s a-er…nice choice.” Peter squeaked.

“Did one of you girls pick that out?” Remus asked. Mary nodded, then gestured towards her own outfit. “I see.” Remus said.

Black opened his mouth to make a comment, but closed it immediately. Come on, Black! I live for your mean comments about me!

“Well..we’ll see you girls then, yeah?” Sirius said, turning towards the men’s section. The other Marauders followed suit.

I stared after them. I thought of the letters under my bed and shook my head. There was no way that Marlene was right. Black lived for making those rude comments to me. He was vinegar and I was water. We just clashed.

Astronomy was wrong. Black and I were not meant to be.



Author's Note:

So how's it going, readers? If I have any, I suppose. Things are slowly moving up hill, I promise. This chapter is evidence of that! I hope it is, at least.

I know a few people wanted to see Ludo be Lenny's love interest, and you just might yet ;). Let me know if you'd prefer Ludo or not? And Mary, oh dear Mary, no one likes her, am I right? 

So please review and all that nonsense. I love them a lot!  

Chapter 12: Dressing Up and Down
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amazing chapter image made by nala @ TDA


I don’t understand a girl’s mind. I really don’t. How was this attractive in their eyes? Did they enjoy their chest almost falling out? Did they think it was appealing to men? Don’t answer that last question.


I struggled as I tied the top of my costume in front of my bosoms. Bloody hell, I was going to kill Mary. I wish the red I wore was more intimidating. I think I’ll have to dye my hair red to actually look the part. Maybe I should’ve asked Lily to scare Mary for me. That might not have happened, being that they are best mates, but it was worth a shot in the dark.


I tugged the shorts down as far as they would go (which wasn’t as far as you’d think). The further I pulled them, the more of my hips I showed. I wasn’t going to win in this situation. The fish net stockings weren’t making it any better either. My legs itched like crazy. I felt like I was going to have to rip them off to feel any better.

“You cannot hide in there, Mary!” Lily was shouting at the closed bathroom door. She pounded on it vigorously.


“I look horrible!” Mary shrieked from the other side. Lily groaned and continued to bang on the door.


“I don’t give a damn if you look like an ogre; you come out here this instant!” Lily looked ready to break down the door.


Mary pushed open the door, revealing a very disgruntled looking Mary. I couldn’t even tell where she was under the costume. She looked like she was an old witch that had become homeless. A very ugly old witch.


I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. I couldn’t hold it in, it was just too funny. It seemed Lily and Alice thought the same thing as I did, for they both started laughing as well at the sight of Mary. Mary turned red with embarrassment and stomped over towards me. Her face was worse close up. Which made me laugh harder.

“It had bloody makeup with it, Crowley! It charmed itself on me when I put the wig on!” she hissed. I looked closely and noticed that there was indeed make up on her.


“What do you want me to do about it?” I asked her with a shrug. I itched my leg awkwardly.

“Well, I get to put makeup on you now.” She told me matter-of-factly. I frowned and shook my head.


“That wasn’t part of the deal.” I told her.

“I think it is a fair trade.” Alice said from her spot by the mirror. She was putting glitter on her eyelids. Wouldn’t that impair her vision?


In the end, I had to let Mary put makeup on me. Much to my dismay, she put loads on. Cover up to hide my freckles, blush to make my cheeks look rosy, obnoxious blue eye shadow to bring out the blue in the outfit, eyeliner (she had mocked Lily by saying “It’ll make your eyes pop), and ridiculous amounts of mascara. I felt like my face was going to fall forward from the weight of the entire make up. I frowned at my reflection.

“I look like a slag!” I groaned, going to rub it off, but Mary slapped my hand away.


“Oh no you don’t!” she scolded. She waved her wand over my face. “Now you cannot get it off unless one of us girls does it for you.”

Merlin kill me now. Really, just do it.


“Let’s go, Alice!” Mary said with a smug smirk, turning and walking from the room. Alice followed.

Lily glanced at me, smiling as she placed a nurse’s hat on top of her head. Even though Lily had a slag costume, she looked classy. Bollucks, why couldn’t I look classy? It was always Lily who had to look amazing, even when dressed as a slag. It wasn’t bloody fair, I’m telling you!


“You don’t look bad, Lenny. Boys will be all over you.” Lily told me, slinging her bag over her bare shoulder awkwardly. I mumbled a response, grabbing my own bag.

“I’m serious. You’re a Quidditch player, of course you have an amazing body. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.” Lily told me as we both walked down the girl’s staircase. It seemed I wasn’t going to make it to breakfast early, being as how it had taken Mary nearly a half hour to do my make up.


“I feel like I’m naked.”

“You kind of are.”

“Thanks.” I groaned.

When we entered the common room, it was far too full for my liking. I noticed most of the girls were dressed like slags, having outfits similar to the ones that Lily and I were wearing. Boys had more muscular costumes, per usual. Each seemed to be doing their own inner competition to look at every girl in the room.


“Evans! You look dashing, per usual!” Potter said, suddenly at our side. Lily groaned, crossing her chest in order to hide it.


“Shove off, Potter.” She told him, pushing past.

“Whoah! Is that you, Crowley?! Bloody hell!” Potter shrieked this. A lot of people turned towards us and seemed just as shocked as James had been.


“Eer… yes?” I answered him. Lily hooked her arm in mine and pulled me out of the common room.

When we reached the Great Hall, it was way worse than the common room. As we worked our way towards the middle of the Gryffindor table, it became increasingly obvious that the wolf whistles were meant for me. Lily was too far in front of me to have them meant for her (curse these slag boots!). I felt my face flush with embarrassment.


I was the Queen of Slags today. No one seemed to be showing as much skin as I was. Hell, even Debbie from Hufflepuff looked to be envious of my costume and not having bought it. She became the second for Queen of Slags. I still took first. It was a small accomplishment, but definitely not something I was proud of.

“How’s it feel, Crowley?” I heard Mary’s voice ask me from behind the tangled black wig. I laughed to myself, forgetting it was actually Mary McDonald back there.


“I feel cold.” I told her. I felt a small breeze on my abdomen and shivered.


“Good because I feel like I’m going to sweat beneath all of this!” Mary retorted, blowing out a loud huff. At least she looked scary. I didn’t look anything like a scary Halloween person. I was very disappointed in myself.


“What the bloody hell are you wearing?!” Teddy growled. I turned sheepishly to see my older brother, dressed in a goblin costume, staring at me with wide eyes.

“Potter decided this was our new team uniform.” I said dully. As though on que, Potter and his mates entered the Great Hall. Teddy turned to them, his face blank.


“Potter!” he yelled. James turned towards him, a large grin on his face.

“I like your costume, Ted!” James clapped Teddy on the back.

”What the hell is my sister wearing?” he asked him, his tone extremely threatening. Potter looked at me, a large smirk on his face.


“She was joking, Teddy!” Mary cut in before James could comment on the costume…if you could even call it that. I wouldn’t call it a costume. I’d call it under garments.


Teddy turned to Mary, his eyes bulging at the sight. I grinned to myself, taking my toast and dunking it into my pumpkin juice. If I had popcorn, I would be taking it out right now. Yes Teddy, this is the girl you took on a date the other day. Doesn’t look so attractive now, does she?

“Mary is that you?” Teddy whispered. I didn’t have to see Mary’s face to know it turned beat red.


“Yes.” She mumbled, unable to say anything else. I began to hum to myself. Today wouldn’t be such a bad day afterall.


“Glad to see you’re in the spirit.” Teddy mumbled back, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. My smile widened.


“Lookin’ good, Crowley!” I heard someone shout, to which Teddy turned to with a glare.


“You want your eyes ripped out of your sockets?!” Teddy shouted to the six year. He immediately recoiled into his group of friends.


And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I’ve never had a boyfriend or even a proper date. My personality might have something to do with it too, but we’re just going to blame it on Teddy’s overprotectiveness. I don’t take blame for anything. Except for my amazing choice in Halloween costumes.


“Now I understand how you two are related.” Potter whispered to Teddy who frowned at him.


“Lenny has always been attractive.” Teddy told him, crossing his arms. He looked ready to kill someone any minute. I had a feeling it would be me.

“That’s not what he meant, mate!” Remus defended James. Teddy then turned to Remus, who looked like he wasn’t sure how to finish this up. Remus looked at James and bit his lip, trying to come up with something to defend him with,

“Then what’d he mean, Lupin?” Teddy asked him, his tone still extremely defensive.

“Err…he meant…” Remus looked towards James. “You’re on your own, mate.”

“Oooh, look!” I shrieked, pointing towards the ceiling. Everyone turned towards it immediately. I punched James on his leg and gestured towards the Great Hall doors. He took off at a sprint.


“Look at what?” Alice asked. Everyone was still staring.

“Thought I saw a nargle. My mistake.” I told them. They all brought their gaze away from the ceiling to notice James was gone.


“Where’d he go?” Sirius asked, even taking to look under the table for his best mate.

“I think that nargle got him.” I told Black easily. They all looked at me like I was insane. “What? You never know with those nargles!”


“Alright, class. As it is Halloween, I want your minds to run free. Create me a potion of your choosing!” Professor Slughorn called to the class. I tried to wrap my Quidditch robe tighter around me, but it wouldn’t pull all the way across my body. Bollucks. “Begin!”


Everyone in the class began to move about. I took my spot at leaning at the furthest end of our table, away from the cauldron. After Slughorn had told Potter to return to his partner, I had gotten a good threat from Black not to go anywhere near the cauldron. One little fire and I’m looked at as though I killed an endangered species.


I glanced towards the cauldron to see that we had no ingredients by it. Sirius was still standing there, glaring at the table. Maybe he was seeing things. Weirder things have happened on Halloween. I had broken a rib back in third year after practice and went through the whole day without realizing it. I did, however, realize it when at the Halloween party decided to kick me there. How that happened, I’ll never remember.


“What potion should we make?” Sirius asked, though his voice was extremely strained. He still wasn’t looking at me, but glaring at the table.

“You’re asking me?” I asked. He nodded curtly, his jaw clenched. “Err…something easy?”

“Alright.” Black said with a nod, heading off towards the ingredients cupboard. I frowned at his retreating back. Did he want me to start the daily fight between us?


Maybe if I brought up his small ears he would get mad.

He returned to the table, carrying way too many ingredients for my liking. Didn’t I say easy? Then again, he would do the opposite of what I suggest. That’s Black for you. He wouldn’t listen to me if his life depended on it. He’d probably welcome death if it meant he could go against what I say.


“You have small ears!” I bursted. Sirius’s jaw visually clenched at my words.


“I’ve been told.” He mumbled through clenched teeth. He slammed some kind of root down in front of me, handing me a knife.

Did he realize what he was doing? Did he want me to kill him?


“What’s this for? Are you welcoming death?” I asked him, staring down at the knife in bewilderment. There were too many witnesses for me to do this.


“No. I want you to cut the root down the middle and then into four different pieces.” He told me, beginning to start a fire beneath the cauldron.


“I thought I wasn’t supposed to touch anything.” I tried my best to mock his voice but it sounded like I was being choked. Black shot me a weird sideways glance before going back to the fire.


“Just don’t touch the fire.” He told me, finally getting it to light. Well, that was reasonable. I could stay away from the fire.


I began to do what Black told me. I placed the blade on the root and pushed down so that it was cut down the middle. I smiled in triumphant. I was going to dominate this root. I went to chop it again, but Black coughed rather loudly, staring pointly at the open book in front of me.


When the bloody hell did the book get there?


I looked the instructions. I even saw the word “root”. I decided it might be best to read that part.


Cut the root directly down the middle. Proceed to cut each piece into forths, each piece thus becoming about ¼ of a centimeter long.


Huh. Well, let’s do it that way, shall we?


Black was stirring the potion, adding small things here and there. I continued to cut my roots. I even threw them in when Black told me to. He handed me some more things to prepare and I did, taking his coughs as a point to look at the book and figure out what I was actually supposed to be doing.


The potion actually turned the color it was supposed to turn. The light purple actually looked pretty. Kind of edible, in a way. I dipped my finger in it and immediately screamed in shock. It was hot. My small little finger was already turning beat red and was blistering.


“Ow! Bloody ooooowww!” I cried. Everyone was staring now. I even heard a few Slytherins snickering.


“What’s going on over here, Ms. Crowley?!” Slughorn shouted over my protesting of jumping around, shaking my hand as though it would get rid of the pain.


“It looked so good!” I groaned, sticking my finger in my mouth to soothe the pain.


“She stuck her finger in the potion, Professor.” Sirius said in an extremely calm voice. Slughorn looked into our potion and sighed.


“Let me go get her something for the burn.” Slughorn mumbled, walking away. I felt tears prick my eyes, but resisted the urge.


It bloody hurt! I am a girl, you know! I don’t have high pain tolerance.


“Let’s see then, Lenny.” Sirius held out his palm. My finger was still in my mouth. I didn’t want to take it out. It felt good inside my mouth. “Come on then!”


I reluctantly stuck my finger out. Sirius took it, seeing the large blister covering the entire tip. He furrowed his eyebrows and took the soothing cream that Slughorn had come back with and started to rub it on the tip of my finger, spreading it out over the blister. The pain began to subside immediately.


“You should feel a cooling sensation.” Slughorn informed me.


Except I didn’t. In fact, I felt as though I was on fire. I felt like I had jumped into that fire beneath the cauldron. Hell, I had been cold before this cream had been put on; being that I was in such little clothing and we were in the dungeons. I felt my cheeks flush and the goosebumps go away. I felt a small flutter in my stomach.


“You’re weird, Crowley,” Sirius said with a small chuckle, except his tone didn’t hold a joking manner.


I dropped my hand to my side and the coldness swept back over me and the flutter disappeared. I probably was catching slag or something. Not a good sign.


“Hey Lenny!” I heard as I exited the classroom. I turned to see Ludo coming towards me, his blonde hair spiked up above his “Prince Charming” costume. Not clever at all.


“Ludo.” I nodded. He fell into step next to me.


“I’ll see you at the party tonight, right?” Ludo asked me.


“Wouldn’t want to put this costume to waste.” I told him. He grinned at me, his eyes scanning down my costume. I immediately felt aware of how much of a slag I was at the moment. I walked a bit faster to keep his attention away from my nearly bare chest.

“Great! I’ll see you then, yeah?” Ludo took off, waving at me as he went.


He was nutters. Who waves these days?


“Hey Lenny? This came for you.” Lily said when I entered the dorm. She was the only one in there, getting ready for the party that was happening in a few hours down in the Room of Requirements. I took the letter from Lily, tossing it in my hands.


“Thanks.” I told her, setting it down on my bed.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” she asked, picking the letter back off of my bed. I frowned, taking it from her outstretched hand.


“I doubt it.” I told her honestly. Why would I bother opening a letter from Sirius-bleeding-Black?


“Well, it’s obviously to you.” Lily said pointedly. She was staring at me with her big green eyes larger than quaffles. I looked down at the letter and then back up at her.


The letter was labeled “L.C.”. Oh bollucks. Merlin was out to get me. Merlin wanted me dead. Salazar Slytherin could come take me right now and I’d prefer that. Godric is now ashamed of me. I am no longer a Gryffindor. I suck at life.


“It isn’t what it looks like!” I cried, unsure where I was going with that one.


“I won’t tell anyone.” Lily said, turning on her heel and examining her reflection. When you’re that pretty, do you really need that kind of confirmation? I ignored Lily, tearing open the letter.




So I took your advice. I was nice to a lot of people. The people that I’m normally “mean” to, I was kind to. I smiled at my cousins who shouted curses at me, ignored Snape’s rude comments to James, accepted Peter’s ideas, and actually talked to Lenny Crowley without shouting at her. I worked bloody hard, so I hope you were watching. Can you give me some little information about you now? I think I deserve it.


Sincerely yours,


Sirius Black


‘That’s so cute!” Lily squealed from behind me. She was reading the letter over my shoulder. Bloody being shorter and all.


I taped the letter under my bed as Lily grinned widely at me. When I emerged from underneath the bed, she was staring very pointedly at me. I raised my eyebrows, shuffling my feet under her gaze.


“Are you going to write him back?” Lily asked me, her eyes gleaming.



“Why not?”


“I don’t want to.”


“Lenny, he went through all that blasted trouble the last few days to get you to notice him. The least you owe him is a letter.”


I frowned at her. She even handed me a piece of parchment and a quill. He had been nice the last few days. Maybe just telling him a bit about myself wouldn’t hurt that much.




Why are you trying so hard? It was one assignment, one class, and two letters. You keep sending these letters, even when I tell you to eat your toe and tell you I hate you. You’re like Potter with Evans, really. Since you’re trying to be nice, I’ll play too. I like pie- love it, really. Only one kind: pumpkin. My favorite holiday is Halloween. Not because of the candy (though it is delicious), but because I get to dress up. The scarier the costume the better, in my opinion. I would live on a broom if it didn’t hurt my butt so much. I want to invent a broom cushion. Guess that’s it, Black.




“I’ll send it!” Lily was jumping up and down behind me and grabbed the letter before I had the chance to close it. She ran from the room, giggling like a small school girl.


I looked at the clock and groaned. Time to get ready.

Author's Note: I'll fix the formatting at a later date. I'm in a bit of a rush right now, but let me know what you think! Ideas, comments, concerns? Are you excited for the party next chapter?! Ludo? Sirius? Teddy's over-protectiveness? What's going to happen? 

THank you so much for the reviews! It makes me so happy :D


Chapter 13: Halloween Party
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amazing chapter image by SwissMiss @ TDA



“Want to back out, Crowley?” Mary asked me, a sly smirk on her face. At least I thought that was on her face. I couldn’t see it behind all the hideous make up.

“No. Just seeing you in that costume is kind of satisfying.” I told her honestly. She scowled, scooting to the other side of Lily. Lily beamed at me, linking her arm through mine. Did she think we were going on a date or something the way she was doing this?


“You’re going to make jaws drop, Lenny. Just like you did all day.” She told me. I didn’t see jaws dropping. I saw a few weird looks, but that was about it. No jaw dropping.


“Who knows, maybe Ludo will give her some attention. He seems pretty smitten on you.” Alice said, sending me a wink. I felt my face grow hot at her comment.

Ludo was charming and all. He was gorgeous to boot. He was extremely care-free. I felt as though I should be interested in him, but I wasn’t. I didn’t see him as anything more than a teammate. Is that horrible? Probably. Most girls drooled over Ludo Bagman. He was probably one of the hottest boys at the school.


“Crowley, if you don’t go for that, I will.” I heard Mary say. I raised my eyebrows at her, barely able to see her face from beneath the wig. She had taken to covering up her face with the hair now.

“What about my brother?” I asked her. Lily and Alice both giggled, giving Mary pointed looks. She mumbled something inaudible, speeding her walk.

When we finally made it to the Room of Requirement, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The party throwers had out-did themselves this year. There was fake spider webs hanging from the ceiling. The room was almost all black with strobe lights just about everywhere. People where jumping up and down to music in the middle of the dance floor. On the far side of the room, there was a large table with a lot of food and drinks on it. The walls looked to be covered in fake blood. I saw a few skeletons every which way and a fair amount of pumpkins.


It was epic. At least whoever was throwing this Halloween party knew what Halloween was. It was meant to be scary. This was spot on.


I felt Lily, Alice, and Mary drift away and smiled to myself. I felt extremely out of place being around them. Not that they weren’t splendid girls (minus Mary of course), but it just wasn’t my cup of tea. Or cup of pumpkin juice. No cup of anything, really. Unless I was American, then I might be able to fit in with them. Alas, I am British.

I didn’t feel comfortable in this costume. I felt as though I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. This costume was like lingerie! It wasn’t even quite that. I wasn’t sure how to describe it, really. Not a real costume, that was for sure.

I found myself wandering towards the drink table, pushing my way through grinding couples. That wasn’t proper dancing, either! What was wrong with these people? First it was the costumes and now it was the dancing? I wasn’t sure where they would draw the line.

In all honesty, I just wanted this night to get over with.

That is until I saw the big bowl of candy awaiting me at the food table. I gasped, a large smile irrupting on my face. Maybe this night wouldn’t be half bad. I could survive if I kept close to this candy.

“Lenny!” I heard someone shout. I turned to see Teddy stumbling towards me, obviously already drunk. He slung one of his big arms around me, nearly causing the pair of us to crash to the ground.

“You’re too heavy, you oaf!” I shouted to him over the music. He grinned at me, but didn’t seem to hear what I had said. This is where twin telepathy would come into play.

“Bloody hell, I thought you’d change!” I heard his voice squeak as his eyes bulged at my costume. “I’ll kill all these boys if they look at you, don’t think I won’t!”

“I don’t doubt you.” I told him. I learned last year not to argue with a drunk Teddy. Those Ravenclaws know some nasty curses and while drunk, Teddy isn’t afraid to use them on me.

“Oi, keep your eyes in your socket!” Teddy shouted to a nearby fifth year who didn’t even seem to be looking at us. His eyes bulged and he turned in the opposite direction.


“Teddy, I don’t think he was looking at me.” I tried, but Teddy was already stomping off after the boy, his wand raised. I hoped for the boys sake that Teddy didn’t find him.


“Enjoying yourself?” I heard someone say into my ear. I turned to see Remus grinning and supporting a fire whiskey. Was he drunk too? I had just bloody gotten here and everyone was wasted.


“I just got here.” I told him, eyeing a nearby blonde who looked ready to snog her date’s face off.


“I see you’re still sending Sirius those letters.” Remus said, though I could hear the patronizing tone in his voice. I nodded, not going further into it.


“I’m Lenny right now. Not L.C.” I told him. He grinned at me, shaking his head.


“You’re both, Lenny.” He told me. I was about to retaliate when I saw Marlene at Remus’ shoulder, her dark hair shining in the light from the strobes. She gave me the thumbs up, gesturing to Remus. I frowned at her.


“Mind if I steal Crowley?” Marlene asked, her tone too sweet for her costume. She seemed to be wearing a slaggy witch costume, the complete opposite of Mary’s costume. Remus turned, seeing Mary for the first time, and gave her a nod.


“I’ll see you later, Lenny.” Remus mumbled before disappearing into the crowd.


“That’s a good idea!” Marlene said, giving me a playful shove on the shoulder. Except it wasn’t all so playful when I stumbled into the drink table.


“What was a good idea?” I asked, rubbing my shoulder. It honestly hurt!


“Going for his friend. It’ll make him jealous.” Marlene told me, smirking at me the whole time.

“Who’s friend?” I asked her, completely dumb-founded. She sighed, gesturing across the room. I followed her finger towards Black who was talking with Potter, laughing at something he must have found extremely funny. What was so funny that he would laugh that hard?

“So are you going to go talk to him?” Marlene asked me. I turned her, furrowing my eyebrows. Why would I go talk to him? Black and I hated each other. L.C. may have been a different story, but she wasn’t me. She wasn’t this person standing here tonight.


“No.” I told her simply, grabbing some pumpkin juice. As I took a sip, I could taste it was spiked and almost spit it out. Bother.


“Why bloody not?!” She hissed at me. I rolled my eyes, downing the pumpkin juice mix. It burned my throat and made my stomach turn, but I was thirsty.


“He’d probably yell at me for something or another.” I told her. He honestly would. That was our relationship summed up. He yelled, I said something stupid, he yelled some more, I laughed at him yelling, he stormed off. Strong relationship, right?


“Well, at least talk to Bagman. He’s been eyeing you ever since you came in.” Marlene grumbled, pushing herself away from me. I let my eyes search the crowd for Ludo. No harm in finding someone to talk to for the night, right?


I didn’t need to find him as he made his way straight towards me. His grin was large, showing off his perfect white teeth. Does he bleach them? I’m sure he does, because that is unnatural. He had a perfect complexion, I noticed close up. Something I very much envied. Bloody hell, he would make a good girl.


“I didn’t think I’d get to see you alone here!” Ludo shouted over the music, but he was saying it far too loud. I shuffled my feet out of habit. “First it was Evans, then it was your brother, then Lupin, and then McKinnon. Ms. Popular, aren’t you?”


“Hardly.” I said, Ludo used his opportunity to lean forward, his face only inches away from mine. His grin widened as I felt my face grow hot. Was it necessary to be this close to me? I could hear him just fine.


“Care to dance, Ms. Crowley?” he asked, his voice extremely husky. I shrugged and he led me to the dance floor.


The small problem may be that I can’t dance. At parties like this, I normally remained a wall flower and drank myself stupid, giggling with Teddy at girls who tried to throw themselves at him. I’d never been asked to dance before. Sure, Teddy and I made down right fools of ourselves every once and a while on the dance floor, but that was after we had had too many drinks.


Ludo immediately pulled me against his body the minute we reached the dance floor. I let a squeak escape my lips in shock, but he didn’t seem to notice. He started grinding against my leg like there was no tomorrow. My body froze. I didn’t know what to do. Was I supposed to hump his leg back? I think that would feel like we were shagging on the dance floor. I had very little clothing on, so it would be like shagging.


Ludo dug his fingers into my bare hips, moving me as well. What the bloody hell was he doing, trying to make me grind on him? He had a hold of my hips and was moving them, but my whole body went with it. It was like he was swinging me around awkwardly. Which is probably why the girl next to us laughed into her date’s shirt.

Bloody hell, I’m not cut out for this stuff.


I smiled at Ludo, pulling myself away from him. “I have to pee.” I told him, turning before I could see the look on his face.


I didn’t go to the loo, however. I went straight for the drink table, downing two fire whiskeys in a minute. Bloody hell, that’s better. I even took another one for good measure.

”Come dance with me!” Lily giggled, pulling me towards the dance floor once again. She began to jump around, swinging her body to the music. She seemed to not have a single care in the world. She grabbed onto my hand, twirling me around in circles.


Could I consider this girl my friend? I wasn’t sure. I thought Teddy was my only friend. Speaking of which, I hadn’t seen him all night. I let my eyes wander the dance floor, not spotting his face. I frowned. Bother. Would I have to go searching for him at the end of the night to make sure he wasn’t shagging a Hufflepuff?




“Mary’s sulking in the corner! It’s pretty funny!” Lily told me, gesturing towards where Mary was, stuffed next to a couple snogging. She looked extremely pissed off. I smirked in triumph. She would be doing my homework by the end of the night.


“Can I cut in?” I saw Potter before Lily did, a shy look over his normally confident face. Lily turned towards him, her face flushing pink.


“Sure!” I answered, scooting away before Lily could protest. I was right back at the drink table again, downing more fire whiskey.


As the night dragged on, I found myself being forced onto the dance floor by multiple people. I hated banging up against the sweaty bodies of those who had not left it for hours. I felt my legs were sticky from people stumbling and splashing their drinks onto the floor, seemingly getting it on my bare legs. I got them back by “accidentally” spilling my entire drink on them. I think I wasted a bit of fire whiskey doing this.


I could feel the fire whiskey working it’s way through my system and felt loonier than ever. Loony Lenny Crowley. I think I should have a last name with the letter L as well. Then I could have the initials L.L. We wouldn’t have to worry about Sirius Black being remotely interested in me. Not that he was interested in me, he was interested in L.C. If I wasn’t L.C, he wouldn’t have anyone to be interested. He’d die alone.

I smirked to myself, draining the cup in my hand. After a while, you grow a tolerance to this stuff. It doesn’t burn your throat or make you cough. I wish that were the case the first time you took a drink.


Bloody hell I was drunk.


“-And then the banshee came straight at me!” I heard Gilderoy Lockhart’s proclamation. He was describing how he had been attacked by a banshee over the summer and survived. I gasped for dramatic effect.


“And then what happened?!” I asked him, very amused by his story.


“Well, I fought the thing off!” he smirked to himself, proud of the attention he was getting.


“She didn’t scream or anything?” I asked him, furrowing my eyebrows. Gilderoy seemed to contemplate this before shaking his head.


“I cut off her airway. Choked her.” He explained. I frowned some more.


“Banshee’s don’t use their airway to scream.” I told him. He blinked a few times at me before removing his arm from around my shoulders. Hell, I was cold now.


“Crowley, it happened, okay?” Gilderoy grumbled, glaring at my small frame.


“I never said it didn’t.” I told him in tern. He sighed, moving away from me. I shrugged, turning around quickly.


I felt a rush of cold sweep over me. I let out a loud shriek upon contact. I looked down to see my stomach and shorts drenched. I could smell the strong scent of fire whiskey. Should I lick my own stomach to get it off? What a waste of fire whiskey!


“Oh Merlin, I’m sorry!”


I looked up and saw Sirius standing in front of me, staring at my stomach with a guilty expression on his face. I looked down at it myself. It was kind of attractive in this light. Especially now that it had fire whiskey on it. Sirius ran a nervous hand through his hair and closed his eyes.


“Let me get you a napkin.” He explained. I shook my head, staring at my stomach again.


“No, I like it. Adds to my sex appeal!” I slurred. He furrowed his eyebrows, but let out a laugh all the same.


“Sex appeal?” He asked me. I nodded my head confidently, stealing the remaining fire whiskey from his hand.


“Lot of it! I could be a sex god and no one would know the difference.” I explained, spilling some of the fire whiskey onto my front. Oh well, I was already covered in the stuff.


“Of course, Crowley.” He said with a grin. “Enjoy my fire whiskey.” He turned and began to walk off.


“I will!” I called after him.


“Hey, we’re heading off.” Lily told me, coming up from my side. How the bloody hell did she get to me so fast? I swore she was on the other side of the room not only minutes ago. 

“Going to shag Pothead?” I asked her nonchalantly. She seemed to have sobered up as she blushed profusely.


“N-no. I need to take Mary and Alice back. They drank far too much….” She explained. I tuned her out and began to sway to the music. It was bloody good music! My body just seemed to already know what the next note would be. I even closed my eyes, letting the music take over my body.


I felt arms snake around my waist, but I didn’t care. The music was so intoxicating. Screw nargles, screw Teddy, screw my family; music was my new love. It loved me back. I could feel it. It held me close and loved me for me. I didn’t have to be bloody L.C. for the music.


“You’re a good dancer, Crowley.” Someone whispered in my ear. I smiled to myself. Maybe music was alive. Maybe it talked to me.


“You too.” I mumbled, swinging myself around more and more. Oh music, why haven’t I found my love for you earlier?


“What do you say we get out of here?” it asked me again, except this time it bit my ear lightly. I giggled. It tickled. I didn’t know music was physical like that.


“I think I might love you,” I slurred, except this time, I’m sure I felt the music chuckle against my back.


“Let’s not go that far, okay love?” the music said. I could hear it clearly this time. I spun around, ready to head over towards the music box and have a good word with it, when I was met with Ludo Bagman’s hard chest.


“You’re not music.” I told him blatantly. He had a large, drunken smirk on his face.


“Lenny, I’ll be whatever you want me to be.” He took a step forward while I took a step back.


“I want you to be gone.” I said, pushing my hand against his chest. He didn’t budge. Not that I was strong sober, but I was definitely weak while drunk.


“Playing hard to get?” Ludo asked me, advancing again. I cringed away, but came in contact with a wall.


“Leave me to my bloody music!” I whined, shoving a finger into his chest…and missing.


“Come on, Crowley. I went on that bloody date with you. Least you can do is give me some attention,” Ludo whispered in my ear over the booming of the music. There were so many people around, you’d suspect someone knew what Ludo was trying to do here…wait, not even I knew what he was trying to do.


“What are you trying to do?” I repeated my thoughts. Ludo smirked and I felt his lips make contact with my neck, sending a chill down my spine. Except, it did not feel good whatsoever.


“I think you know,” he muttered huskily, kissing my collar bone now. I began to panic. I bloody well knew what he was doing. I was a virgin! I didn’t shag and all that nonsense! I barely ever kissed a bloke! Plus, this wasn’t something I was ready for.


“Shove off!” I squeaked, pushing Ludo with all my might. I suddenly found my strength, because Ludo stumbled back slightly. It’s amazing how fast you can sober up in serious situations.


“Oh come on, Crowley!” Ludo hissed, advancing forward yet again. His eyes were blazing with anger and I could see how red his face was. “I know you want me. Everyone bloody does! Let’s go find a broom closet so you can stop playing hard to get, yeah?”


I didn’t know how to react to that. I felt Ludo’s hand wrap tightly around my wrist and start to drag me out. Everyone probably did want to shag Ludo Bagman, but not me. Did that make more more pathetic than everyone thought I was? I couldn’t let people see me turning Ludo Bagman down. Everyone would make fun of me more than they already did. I’d be damned if I was shagging Ludo Bagman, though.


As he pulled me through the crowd of drunken people swaying on the dance floor, I ignored the splashes of alcohol at my feet (where the hell did my shoes go?). I tried to yank my hand free from Ludo’s grip, without drawing too much attention to myself. He would only tighten his grip with every footstep and every time I tried to yank free.


“Bagman, let go of me.” I whispered to him. He turned around, a smirk playing on his lips and shook his head.


“We’ll have fun, Lenny. Don’t worry.” He told me, finally reaching the exit. I looked around frantically for someone who could get me out of this situation. Surely Teddy was around somewhere and saw what Ludo was trying to do.


The only people around us were Slytherins, who seemed to be giving me the once over before turning away. Bloody hell, when did I think a Slytherin would save my ass? I’d have to be more loony than I really was to think that. I huffed, starting to really panic now. Why didn’t I bring my wand along with me? I could’ve stored it somewhere! If it stuck out, so be it!


Ludo was dragging me down the hall now, walking faster. I made a bigger deal to yank my arm out of his grip, being that we were away from eyes now. “Let me go!” I shouted this time.


I was met by Ludo’s harsh laugh. When had Ludo Bagman, the beater for my team, ever this harsh? He was supposed to be the charming, sweet one. He was supposed to be the one that girls looked to for support on the team. Alice and I had went to him when we needed someone on our side for A Quidditch decision. He was supposed to be the bloke who helped me sabotage my brother’s date that he wasn’t supposed to be on. He wasn’t supposed to be…a typical, shag-seeking bloke.


Yet here I was, struggling against his grip in the middle of the hall, trying to convince drunken Ludo that I didn’t want to shag him. Did he not speak English?


“Let’s cut to the chase, yeah?” Ludo asked me, shoving me against the nearest wall. My head smacked against the stone and I groaned. That bloody hurt! I began to rub the back of my head, seeing small white spots when Ludo slammed his lips against mine. I tried to shove him off, but he wouldn’t budge.


“Get a room!” I heard someone tell us. Ludo pulled away to tell them off when I took his opportunity to scream. I simply screamed, using all that was in my lungs to do so.


“Did you just…scream, Crowley?” I looked around Ludo to see Sirius. I quickly nodded, trying my hardest to make sure Ludo didn’t see it. “Something wrong?”


“Course not, Black.” Ludo told him, turning back to me with a glare. I whimpered under his look. I’m sure he’d kill me before the night was over.

“I think there is, Bagman.” Black said, taking a step forward to get a better view of my face. I’m sure I looked terrified. I sure felt terrified. I hoped it wasn’t one of those situations where I’m good at masking my feelings. I wanted him to see how scared I was.


“Don’t be ridiculous, Black. We’re just having a bit of fun!” Ludo told him, stepping in front of me. I felt like I was stuck between him and the wall. I backed up slightly and hit the wall. Sure enough.


“Why don’t I bring her back to the common room?” Sirius suggested.


“Sounds great!” I squeaked, pushing around Ludo in a quick motion to get away. Sirius raised his eyebrows at me, but side stepped so that he was in between me and Ludo. Ludo mumbled something incoherent before dashing the opposite direction.


“Shall we?” Sirius said, taking off at a large stride towards the Gryffindor common room. I sped up to catch up, hoping not to fall behind.


I studied Sirius. He seemed to be wearing a prince costume, topped with frilly lining. His jet black hair was hanging in front of his grey eyes, but he didn’t seem to care. His pointed nose was facing the ground as he studied each step he took. His shoulders were rolled back in a way you see a lot of aristocratic pure bloods doing. He had high cheekbones, something I envied. His face seemed to be completely clear of any trace of boyish acne. He just seemed flawless. I finally understood why so many girls liked him. He really was a prince.


Merlin, I’m never drinking again.


“Did you hear me, Lenny?” Sirius asked me, pulling his gaze off of his feet and over towards me. My mind blanked. What had he said? I didn’t recall hearing him say anything.


“Sorry, was too busy staring at you.” I mentally slapped myself for that one. “Not that I was staring! That sounds stalkerish! I was just….er…. what was the question?”


Sirius’s face broke out into a smile. Not just a typical smile, but one that I never noticed he did. The corners of his eyes creased, small dipples appeared on his cheeks, and he showed his perfect white teeth. It was like the whole corridor lit up upon the sight of his smile. Bloody hell, fire whiskey will be the death of me.


“I asked if your hand was doing all right. From the potion earlier today?” Sirius looked down at my hand. I lifted it up and saw the tiny scar that had formed on my finger from the cream he had put on it.


“Oh…it’s fine.” I told him shortly. He nodded, not saying anything else. We kept in uncomfortable silence all the way back towards the common room. I wasn’t sure if it was all right that I said I checked him out. Surely he had that said to him a lot, right?


We got into the common room and Sirius turned towards me, his eyebrows furrowing upon inspecting my attire. I felt my face burn. I was dressed like a slag. Surely he didn’t expect me to shag him, right? Sure, he had saved me, but did that mean I was entitled to shagging him now? Bloody hell, life was simple when I was just Lenny. Not Slag Number One.

“You might want to go shower. You’re covered in alcohol. Evans will throw a fit.” He told me, smirking as I touched my stomach and felt my hand stick to it. I grimaced. I probably smelt like the Leaky Cauldron.


“I think you’re right…for once.” I replied, sending my own sheepish smile. Maybe it woudn’t be hard for the two of us to get along. Maybe not soul mates, but it was better than what we used to be.


“G’night, Crowley.” Sirius told me, going up the boy’s staircase. I sighed heavily, falling back onto a common room couch.


“I’m an idiot.” I told myself. Who tells Sirius Black that they’re checking them out? What the hell was I doing checking him out in the first place?! Merlin save me.


“Oh and Crowley?” I peeked over the edge of the couch to see Sirius standing at the bottom of the staircase. I cringed slightly, but raised my eyebrows at him. “If you need any help with handling Bagman, let me know.”


With that, he finally left. I held my breath as I listened to his footsteps go up the staircase. I went to get off the couch, but had a lot of difficulty. The fire whiskey was making me stick to the touch. I grumbled, my bare feet finally making contact with the floor. Hell, where had I left my shoes?!


Author's Note: So how's it going, readers? If there's any of you, of course. I'm almost to... a lot of views! I'm really happy. I know people have been awaiting Lenny and Sirius and it came out a little bit in this chapter! It'll be blooming from here, I promise.

Ideas? Concerns? Comments? All of that stuff? I love to hear it. I even like just the "Amazing chapter!" or a simple "You suck"....I lied, I don't like the 'you suck' comments. But if you have that comment, feel free to do it. 

Chapter 14: Hang Overs
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Beautiful chapter image by SwissMiss @TDA




My head was pounding. I could barely feel my face. I was pretty sure I was on the brink of death. Death would be welcome right now. Death could consume me whole and I wouldn’t mind. Anything would be better than this sinking feeling in my stomach. I felt as though my insides were going to fall out. I felt as though every part of my body was going to collapse. I could feel something stirring in my stomach.


Then suddenly, I threw up. Very violently. It was projectile and I’d rather not describe it any better than that. I was covered in my own throw up now. I groaned at the disgusting smell. I couldn’t breathe through my nose, since I’m pretty sure I had gotten vomit stuck up there. I felt as though I could still smell the sick, even with breathing though my mouth. Something was very wrong with that.




“Shut UP, Crowley!” I heard someone whine. I immediately felt my head pound again at the voice. It was loud and echoed in my ears.


“All three of you need to get up!” I heard Lily’s cheerful voice. Was she that loud on purpose? Bloody hell, ouch! Was it necessary to slam her feet that loud on the ground? Was it necessary for her to breathe that loud?! She was doing this on purpose.

“Evans, I have sick all over me.” I moaned. Lily drew back my curtains and immediately cringed. I mimicked her, but that was from the light that shone into my bed.



“Disgusting, Lenny!” Lily tutted, waving her wand. The sick went away, but the feeling sure didn’t.


“Who’s got hang over potion?” Alice asked, sitting up in her bed. Lily went over towards the mirror and began to brush her hair. The shine off of her hair was hurting my head.


“Probably the boys.” Mary mumbled, pushing herself up as well. Suddenly, she made a mad dash for the bathroom, slamming the door shut. I groaned, moaned and did everything I could to show my distaste for the loud noises.


“Well, start making the trek, girls!” Lily called. Alice came towards me, rubbing her eyes sleepily.


“What you want?” I mumbled, shoving the pillow over my head. Maybe that would get rid of the hangover… nope. Still hung over.


“Let’s go get that potion, Lenny. I think they only carry two extras and Mary doesn’t deserve the other one.” Alice told me. I peeked out at her. She was still in her costume from the night before, her make up falling down her face.


“Not that I don’t disagree…but why doesn’t she deserve it?” I asked, slowly getting up as though not to upset my stomach. I started to slip into some sweats and a sweatshirt before we would leave.


“She’s a slag, that’s why.” Alice answered, pushing her way past me as she pulled on her own appropriate clothing. The sudden movement made me peel over and vomit in the nearest open thing.


As I straightened up, Lily was smirking at me. Frowning, I turned around to what I had thrown up in. “That’s Mary’s trunk.” She told me. “I won’t tell."


“Be cautious. They may not be wearing clothing.” Alice warned me. I covered my eyes while she pushed open the door. “Boys? Are you alive in here? More importantly, are you clothed?”


“Yeah, we’re all dressed, Alice.” Remus’s voice came from within. I uncovered my eyes with a sigh of relief, only to gasp. I thought my area of the room was messy! It didn’t even compare to the boys’ dorm.


There were clothes everywhere. I didn’t even have that many clothes. Bras were hanging off of a few beds. All the beds were unmade and it even looked as though there were large stains of something on their curtains. There was only one bed untouched. I could see wrappers from a variety of candies skewed all over. I was sure there were rats beneath the clothing. I was actually curious if their floor was the same wood as our own. Alice grimaced, but made her way through the clothing and over towards the middle of the room.


“Can I step on this stuff?” I asked skeptically. Remus nodded, making what could only be his bed. I followed Alice skittishly into the middle of the room.


”Where’s my clean boxers?” I heard Sirius ask from the other side of the room, peering under a bed. My face reddened at his voice. I had made a fool of myself in front of him the night before (not that this was a first).


“Do you have clean boxers?” Potter asked, ruffling his hair in front of the mirror. Sirius peeked over his bed, sending James a glare.


Yes!” He hissed at him. James turned, a smirk on his face.

“No, you steal my clean boxers.” James proclaimed. Sirius threw a shoe directly across the room, nearly hitting James in the face if he didn’t duck. It shattered the mirror.


Boys, we have company!” Remus growled. Both boys turned towards Alice and I, grinning ear to ear.


“Hello!” James bellowed. We both cringed at the volume.

”Hung over?!” Sirius shouted. Alice nodded, gritting her teeth. I was starting to see white dots in front of my eyes. I could barely see James and Sirius high fiving each other.


“Please tell me you have two spare hang over potions?” Alice asked, rubbing her temples.


“NOPE!” Sirius screamed. I could be wrong, but I think I heard his voice crack.


“Yes, we do.” Remus said, sending Sirius a scolding look. He smirked at his friend, crossing the room towards his trunk, starting to dig through it. Remus dug through a drawer (it was a pretty random pick) and pulled out two vials with blue potion in them. He handed us each one.


“Oh thank Merlin…or should I say Remus.” I said, downing the small vial. It was a disgusting taste, but immediately cured my pounding headache. I smiled at Alice, who sighed as color returned to her face.


“Thank you, Remus.” Alice sent Remus a smile of her own. He nodded, turning to see Sirius half in his trunk, half sticking out.


“What the bloody hell are you doing, Padfoot?” Remus asked Sirius. I had to admit, I was wondering the same exact thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if his trunk was trying to swallow him. My bag has tried to do that to me a fair few times.


“I found it!” Sirius emerged from his trunk, holding a letter in his hand, brandishing it around.


“DID THE POTION WORK YET?!” James shouted from the bathroom door where he had emerged.


“Yes.” Alice answered, turning away from our captain.




“What’s that, Sirius?” Alice asked, watching Sirius scribble a few things on it, his tongue sticking out of his tongue in concentration.


“Did their room swallow you, yet?” I heard Lily from the door. She peered in, wrinkling her nose at the sight. Lily was a clean freak. She refused to place her bed next to mine every year because of the way my area got. I had come into the room to see she had cleaned my section, only for me to mess it up a few days later after I couldn’t find where she places my socks.


“Where’s my owl?” Sirius wondered aloud, looking around.


“Your room probably ate it.” I answered him, shifting awkwardly. I had made a small clean area for my feet to rest, but felt the clothes slowly sinking over my feet.


“You’re probably right.” Sirius mumbled, taking to peeking out the window. I let my eyes wander to his bottom. Wait, what?! Did I just think that? Did I just look at his butt?! Oh Merlin, let this room swallow me whole. My cheeks turned red as I searched for anyone who could’ve seen me do that. Remus was smirking at me. Hell.


“Can I use your owl, Moony?” Sirius asked, crawling over a bed to reach a brown barn owl. Remus nodded at him, elbowing me lightly as he walked past me.


Yes, Remus. I’m aware I just looked at Sirius Black’s arse. It’s not my fault. He basically stuck it in my face!


In my defense, he has a nice arse. He does play Quidditch. I probably have a nice one too. I wouldn’t blame people if they were looking at my bottom. It must be pretty nice to look at. Quidditch buttocks are the best around, I’m telling you. I’m sure if I looked at Potter’s, it would be pretty nice as well. Not that I plan on it, I’m just defending myself here.


“Shoo! Go on then!” Sirius was calling at Remus’s owl. It hooted at Sirius, not moving from its perch. “You lazy sod!”


“Who are you trying to send a letter to?” Peter asked, stuffing two socks on his feet. Sirius’s face visibly reddened.


“Mfffggh,” he mumbled. I looked at Lily who seemed to be just as confused as I was. Sirius was staring at the bird, his eyes wide, willing it to fly away.


“Well, that was descriptive.” Lily said sarcastically, crossing her arms.


“L.C!” Sirius sighed, crumbling up his nose as having had admitted it. My eyes widened.


“No wonder the bird won’t fly off.” Lily mumbled. She looked pointedly at me. My eyes widened in realization. The bird was already in the presence of who it would be sending the letter to.


“Oh look at the time!” I said, far too loudly. “Time to go…err… water my…house elf!”


I took off at a sprint out of the room. Bloody hell, keeping this a secret was far too hard than I had anticipated. What if I were to tell Sirius that it was me? Would he care? Probably. He would probably think I was crazy. Hell, I was crazy for still writing to him. Needless to say, the bloody bird beat me to my room. It was tapping its beak on the window and its eyes widened upon spotting me.


“Bloody bird,” I mumbled, crossing the room and cursing the whole way. I opened the door, snatching the letter from the bird.




I’m just interested in you. I mean, you are different from what I know. Girls who are around me try to be perfect, but that’s not what I’m looking for. I want a girl who is real and isn’t pretending to be something they’re not. Eventually, people’s true colors show and I’m sick of being so disappointed after a relationship is over.


Pumpkin pie? I’ll buy you a whole pie if you ever let me see you. Christmas is my favorite holiday (mainly because of the presents; both giving and receiving). Do you play Quidditch? Maybe we could go flying some time. I bet I could beat you!




Sirius Black


I sighed, falling backwards onto my bed. Black was trying. He had spent a bloody week being nice to not only me, but Slytherins. He had gone out of his way, just to prove himself to L.C. If he found out about who I really was, he would be sincerely disappointed. I was different, just not in a way he would like. I wasn’t a good different. The only person who was attracted to me was bloody crazy Ludo Bagman.


That sure is a bloody accomplishment (please don’t take me serious. I’m crazy, remember?). Lily was in the doorway, smiling widely at me. She pranced (when I say that, I mean it) over towards my bed, hopping onto it like an excited child on Christmas morning. She stared at the letter, then back up at me, then back down at the letter again with raised eyebrows. Her grin only grew.


“So?” she asked me, nearly ready to explode with excitement.


“So?” I responded. She smacked my arm. “Ow!”


“That did not hurt!” She rolled her eyes at me. Well, it kind of did hurt!


“Kinda!” I told her, rubbing my shoulder. It was a bit sore.


“You’re smitten with him, Lenny.” Lily said with a dramatic sigh, falling back onto my bed in the same fashion I had. I snorted at her unattractively.


“You’re the loony one, not me.” I told her, falling back as I did before. She rolled over onto her side, the grin returning to her face.


“Oh come on, Lenny. You two are meant to be. Why not give it a shot?” Lily asked me. I rolled over, studying her excited face.


“I’ll give Sirius a chance when you give Potter one.” I told her. “Plus, it’s not like he wants to give me a chance. He wants to give L.C. a chance.”


“Same thing!” Lily cheered, laughing as she rolled onto her back. “And James isn’t that horrible. A bit big headed, but isn’t everyone?”


“When did Potter become James?” I asked her, a smirk forming on my face. I hadn’t heard her call him James since our first year. She visibly blushed.


“When did Black become Sirius?” She asked. I felt my own face burn in embarrassment.




“So, what are you writing back?”


“I dunno. Probably tell him to get the nargles out of his head. I’m pretty sure that’s why he’s been so nice lately.” This was a possibly, you know. Nargles are nasty little buggers.








“I’m being serious.”


”No you’re not. You’re being Lily. Sirius is being Sirius.”


I felt Lily roll over and sigh, pushing off my bed. She walked towards her own bed, pulling her bag out from beneath it and coming out with a piece of crisp parchment and a bottle of ink. I began to bite my fingernails (nervous habit). She began to search her bedside table for a quill. Was she going to make me do homework on a Saturday? Really? I didn’t think Lily was that horrible. Until now.


“I don’t want to do homework!” I whined, pulling my curtains shut around me. She’d be lucky if she could make me do homework on a good day.


“I’m not going to make you do homework; I’m going to make you write back!” Lily yanked my curtains open.


“Even worse!” I whined again, trying to pull it shut, but she wouldn’t budge. She handed me the items and I reluctantly obliged.


S.B. (I feel this is called for),


People tend to say I’m different, but never in a good way. You could be meaning this in a bad way, now that I think about it. You’re also saying I’m not perfect, based on the fact that we are supposed to be “destined” and all that nonsense. Not an insult, I brush all that off out of habit. I have a bad habit of biting. My nails, my quill, my tongue, or anything that is too close to my mouth. If pie was by my mouth, I’d bite it…eat it, I should say. I don’t want your pie, though. Not because your pie wouldn’t taste good, it would, but that means meeting you. I’ve met you, that’s good enough. I do play Quidditch, but whether I play it on a team or not is kept with me…and other people who know.




“Why won’t you meet him?!” Lily cried as I sealed the letter.


“Lily, I’ve known him for quite some time.” I told her, sending the letter with the owl that I had kept waiting.


“You know what I mean, Lenny.” Lily tutted. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I felt the knots curl around my fingers. I immediately began to pull them apart.


“I’m the loopy Lenny Crowley….no one wants to meet that.” And it’s true. No one does. Not even S.B.



I moaned into my pillow. Bloody hell, how long does it take sleep to take over? I think I’ve been tossing and turning far too long for my liking. It must have been days since I fell asleep. I rolled over and squinted my eyes at the small glowing alarm clock next to my bed. 2:54 A.M. I groaned into my pillow again. There was no way I was going to be able to fall asleep. I’d probably end up dreaming about Bagman attacking my feet. I had that dream last night too.


I pushed myself up out of my bed. If I wasn’t going to be able to sleep, the least I could do was give myself some exercise. I was getting fat. Potter would kill me if a broom couldn’t hold me up for the finals. I’d be off of the team before long. Potter would probably get Mary to replace me. Then he’d realize how horrible she is, beg me to get on a diet, and bring me back on the team. I probably still wouldn’t be thin enough to be able to balance on a broom and Gryffindor would lose the final because they wouldn’t have a keeper.


Maybe I should start jogging. I skipped a few steps, letting my feet slap against the stairs. This was probably good exercise, right? At least I wasn’t lying in bed, which was a true waste of my time! I could already picture a ballooned Lenny lying in bed, commanding Lily to get me more canary creams. Mmmm, those are good. That might be an option. I’d have to keep that in mind.


I jumped to the last step, except I lost my balance. I went tumbling off of it and onto the common room floor. I rolled, smacking my head on a chair leg. I felt my elbow bend awkwardly beneath me. I lay there for an extra few seconds, to see if I had done significant damage. When I was sure I didn’t, I sat up, rubbing a bump I was sure was forming on my head. I think the fairies tripped me. Bloody bastards.


“You okay, Crowley?” I heard someone say. I nearly jumped out of my skin at the voice. I looked up to see Sirius peering over the maroon couch at me with raised eyebrows. I could see the dark circles under his eyes and the droop to his face. Was he crying? Oh wait, nope. A trick of the light.


“Mmm’fine.” I mumbled, pulling myself up. I felt the need to brush off my pajamas. “Are you all right?”


He looked far from all right. Who was I to judge, though? I probably looked like I had gotten into a fight with a few pixies and lost. In all fairness, those pixies are nutters. They’ll eat you if you’re not careful. Sirius probably had encountered a few pixies. That’d give him fair reasoning as to why he was awake at three in the morning.


“Yeah…I suppose.” He answered me. “Sit down, Crowley.”


I took the cushion open next to him, making sure I sat far enough away. I felt oddly uncomfortable. Even as disheveled as Black looked, he still looked like he had taken a good half hour to get ready to just sit here. Bloody hell, did he always look good? I’m sure he could come back from the most severe duels and probably still look good. I glanced down at myself. I probably looked like a monster from under a bed.


I shifted uncomfortably. Merlin, I just didn’t feel all right sitting next to him! Maybe it was because I checked out his butt earlier today. That was just wrong. I cursed my eyes afterwards. I was going crazy. Now would be the time to put me in the nutter house.


“What’s up?” I asked awkwardly, not sure if I should even be sitting here. Sirius was staring at the fire, his eyebrows creased together. Even looking distraught, he seemed to hold an arrogance to him.


“Tell me,” Sirius said suddenly, turning towards me. I jumped slightly, “Am I as repulsive as you say I am?”


Was he serious? Did he really want my opinion on that? This was a trick, wasn’t it. Someone was going to hear me say something mean to him and then tell the whole school how much of a jerk I was. Yet, when I looked back at Sirius, he was staring at me so intently, that I felt he need to answer him.


“No, you’re not…horrible…all the time.” I answered as truthfully as I could. I saw his face fall as he stared down at his hands guiltily. “You’re getting better though!”


“You don’t need to sugar coat it, Crowley.” He mumbled. I pursed my lips and tore my gaze away from him. I felt guilty for causing him to feel so down. “You know about L.C., right?”


“Uh…yeah.” I told him. Course I did, Black. I am L.C.


“I thought this would be an easy way to find another girl….I seemingly dated a mass majority of the people here.” He wasn’t looking at me, but talking to his hands. “With L.C she-“ he let out a deep sigh. “-I just don’t know with her. She’s….different. But a good kind of different. I don’t even know her! She doesn’t even know me!”


“Err…yeah, I suppose you’re right.” I said. Surprisingly, he was right. I may have known him for the last seven years, but I never knew him personally. We argued, yelled at one another, sat far away from each other in class, and played on the same Quidditch team. That didn’t mean we knew each other.


“I’m sorry, I don’t meant to throw all this on you.”




He looked at me quizzically. All I said was okay. Was that wrong? Probably. It seemed everything I said was wrong. Sirius chuckled under his breath, shaking his head at me.


You’re different, you know that?” He told me. I shrugged. Of course I was different. I was Lenny Crowley. “Well, I’m going to try to sleep. It’s late; I suggest you do that too.”


He got up and stretched, his shirt pulling up. I could see the muscle forming a very distinct “V” going beneath his trousers. I cringed, looking away. What he bloody hell was getting into me? I can’t look at Sirius-sodding-Black that way! It is just not right.


“G’night,” was all I said as he made his way to the staircase. I was staring at this arse. Again. Loony bin, here I come.


Chapter 15: Fights and Tears
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Chapter Image by SwissMiss @TDA! 

Oh nargles, please come eat my brain right now. I’ll live through all the pain if it means I don’t have to do this. I’ll go to the insane asylum if I don’t have to follow through here. This has to be a nightmare. Sadly, it wasn’t. In my nightmares, it’s always some twisted version of Lennyland (my mind plays nasty jokes on itself). This wasn’t Lennyland. I’m pretty sure I don’t dream of dueling Sirius Black.


How am I dueling Sirius Black, might you ask? Why am I currently hiding behind a table? Well, he’s a bloody scary dueler. Sirius Black doesn’t half ass anything. If he’s going to win, he’s going to win. There’s no if, ands, or buts about it. I hate Defense Against the Dark Arts, I really do.


When Professor Dearborn told me I was facing Sirius Black to go to the final duel, I told him I forfeited. Everyone knew he was the best dueler in the class. Professor told me that if I forfeited, he’d give me an acceptable (at this point, I was guaranteed an E). I was all for keeping the A, but Teddy ripped me a new one and threatened to tell Mum I passed up an E. Needless to say, I was supposed to try.


This was ridiculous. I had seen the overturned table and dove straight for it, after dodging multiple spells from the end of his wand. He was just scary. I threw a spell over my head, but heard it come straight back towards me and hit the side of the table.


“Get UP, Crowley!” I heard Marlene yell at me. She couldn’t talk, she got knocked out by Pothead. She had actually fought back, though.


“No!” I shouted back at Marlene. Lily groaned from next to her.


“Get that O, Lenny!” Lily cheered, trying to encourage me to get up. Fat chance.


“You could’ve at least put up a fight.” I heard above me. I looked up in shock to see Sirius leaning over it, a large smirk on his face. I shrieked, throwing my wand at him. It flew right into his open eye.


“Ow! Bloody hell, Crowley!” Sirius yelled, stumbling back and clutching his eye.


“Black, you win,” Dearborn told him, picking my wand up off the ground. I sighed in relief, taking it from him. I could hear Sirius whining still.


“Are you okay, Sirius?!” Amelia Bones was at Sirius’s side before I could blink. Her stringy blonde hair was flying everywhere. I’m pretty sure she would suffocate Sirius with her boobs if he wasn’t careful.


“I’m alright, Amelia.” He mumbled, narrowing his eye on me, still clutching the other.


“I’ll bring you to the hospital wing! Eye patches are sexy,” She said this extremely loud, though I was sure this should’ve been seductively whispered. I felt my jaw clench in irritation towards her voice. It was annoying.


“Good idea, Ms. Bones. Black, go to the hospital wing.” Professor Dearborn demanded. Potter snorted from behind me when Sirius’s eyes got as large as quaffles.


“I’ll take myself, Amelia,” Sirius gave Amelia a small smile. I clicked my tongue in disappointment and went towards Teddy, going to his side.


“You shouldn’t take yourself, Padfoot! Let her take you!” I heard Potter say, joy evident in his voice. My hands clenched at my side.


“What’s the matter, Lenny?” Teddy asked, his brow furrowing.


“Nothing.” I told him, but heard my own biting tone. Teddy looked taken back at my response. In all honesty, so was I. I may snap at Teddy a lot, but I normally have reason. Unless I’m on my period, that is. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t on my period. Maybe I just started.


“Oh Merlin, Lenny. You’re not jealous that Amelia is flirting with Sirius, are you?” Teddy was staring at me with wide eyes. I stared back at him, my eyebrows furrowed.


“Bloody hell, no!” I nearly yelled.


“Then what’s the matter?” Teddy asked.


“I’ll take him.” Someone said rather loudly. Everyone turned towards me and Teddy. Teddy was even staring at me in shock. Wait, did I just say that?


“Good idea!” Sirius chirped, grabbing my arm and dragging me from the room.


Why had I volunteered to bring Sirius to the hospital wing? Maybe it was because I didn’t want to keep getting grilled by Teddy. I didn’t understand why I was so mad at Amelia. It may have been her annoying voice or her stringy hair or her…Hufflepuffness. Either way, I didn’t like her.


“I’m glad someone caught on that I couldn’t stand her. Not that I forgive you for throwing your wand at me, but thanks.” Sirius was talking as though we hadn’t just dueled. He was talking as though we haven’t despised each other for the last few years.


“Why aren’t you insulting me? Calling me a moron or something along those lines?” I asked him. His smile faded from his face as he coughed, studying his shoes.


“I guess…someone opened up my eyes. Taught me not to judge a book by its cover.” Sirius mumbled. “I thought I’d pull my head out of my arse, you know?”


No, I didn’t know, but I nodded like I did. I didn’t necessarily think he had his head up his arse….more like his head was too large. I don’t think he’d want to think about sticking his big head up his arse. That’d be extremely uncomfortable. I’d like to think anything up your butt would hurt, but who am I to judge? Don’t knock it until you try it, Father always says.


“How’s that sex appeal coming along?” Sirius asked me, breaking the silence. I paused, turning towards him.


“What does that mean?” I asked, blinking a few times. Did he just ask about my sex appeal?

”You were going on about it at the party. S’why you didn’t get all the fire whiskey off of you.” He looked not the least bit awkward by this conversation.


“Err…it’s going well, thanks.” I told him. This followed by a long, awkward silence.


“Let’s hurry up. Potter will have our heads if we’re late for practice.” I said, quickening my pace down the hallway. Pothead gave me laps for being on time, I didn’t want to be late and have double that.


“Prongs won’t give you laps if you’re with me, don’t worry,” Sirius told me, now rubbing his eye in irritation. I didn’t bother asking about the nicknames the Marauders had given themselves. No one really bothered to ask about them. We all assumed the same thing, I was sure. They were secret aurors and the nicknames were their code names.


“You obviously don’t know James Potter, Gryffindor Quidditch Captain,” I snorted at Sirius. He chuckled, but shook his head.


You obviously don’t know James Potter, my best mate,” he nudged me with his shoulder, to which I nudged him back. Wait, were we being friendly? This is weird. This isn’t the Lenny Crowley and Sirius Black relationship we had.


“You’re late, Crowley. Laps.” James barked before I could give my excuse. I turned towards Sirius, glaring at him. He had an eye patch covering his left eye, to which I couldn’t help but chuckle every time I saw.

”Told you.” I mumbled, moving past him as I started to jog around the pitch as Sirius flew up into the air.


I was wrapped up in a large sweater, a wool hat over my ears, and two pairs of sweats covering my legs. It was the beginning of November. There may not have been snow, but it was bitterly cold. The wind bit my cheeks to raw pieces. I would’ve been wearing more, but I didn’t want to be later than necessary. Sirius may have reassured me that Potter wouldn’t give me laps, but I was reluctant. With good reason, because I had gotten those laps.


Lily’s words rang in my head. They have been for the last few days. When in the world had I started calling Sirius by his first name and not his surname? It was a gradual change. It seemed as though it had started when he began to listen to the L.C. letters. Though I couldn’t let the L.C. letters form my judgment of Sirius. He didn’t see me as L.C, he saw me as Lenny. L.C. was a different person to him, so it had to be separate to me as well.


As I rounded the pitch for the second time, I saw the whole team gathered in the center. It was hard to tell what was going on, but it looked like two people were shagging while everyone tried to get in between them. It looked very wrong to me. It looked extremely aggressive too. I swore I saw a beater’s bat smack someone. That couldn’t be enjoyable.

As I got closer, I saw it was not shagging, it was fighting. Sirius was on top of Ludo, punching him in the face multiple times. Ludo was struggling, laying a few punches towards Sirius, but he barely flinched. James was shouting at the pair, trying his hardest to pull Sirius off of Ludo without prevail. Alice was shouting something, but you couldn’t hear her over the other shouts. Higgins was encouraging Sirius with his shouts. Michael looked on the verge of tears.


I ran forward, grabbing Sirius’s arm with James. Somehow, we had managed to yank him off of Ludo. Sirius’s fists were bloody with Ludo’s thick blood. Sirius’s eye patch was crooked on his face, that eye looking worse than before. His nose was bleeding and lips were red with his own blood. Alice helped Ludo sit up. Ludo was ten times worse than Sirius. I couldn’t even find where his eyes were. Was his nose spitting up blood?


“What the bloody hell are you two thinking?!” James screamed at the pair. They were glaring at each other. I wasn’t sure if I should even let go of Sirius’s arm. He may leap again.


“Why don’t you ask her?” Ludo hissed, gesturing towards me. Me? What the hell did I have to do with this?

”This has nothing to do with her, Bagman!” Sirius viciously spit the blood that was pooling in his mouth. I cringed from it.


“It has everything to do with that teasing slag!” Ludo growled, getting to his feet. Sirius let out a harsh laugh, advancing forward again. Potter jumped in between them.


“She didn’t tease you! Resentful she’s the only girl you haven’t shagged yet?” Sirius called, letting out a harsh laugh.


“Oh, aren’t you? You seem to be getting pretty friendly with her!” Ludo yelled. I stood there dumb-founded. Maybe they were talking about Alice. I turned to her, but she was still so busy shouting at the pair to “knock it off” that I couldn’t tell.


“So that’s the reason you asked her out! I knew it!” Sirius went forward again, but James had him by the arm.


“Yes, Black! Exactly what I did! She’s a virgin, you know that? Would’ve been a great shag!” Ludo spit a huge chunk of blood on the grass at his feet. Sirius pulled away from James and leapt towards Ludo.


They were talking about me. Ludo had only asked me out because he thought he’d shag me. It wasn’t because I was attractive to him. I was probably the only virgin seventh year. I felt pathetic. I felt dirty (or extremely clean). I felt my face flush with embarrassment. I was more than embarrassed, I was ready to crawl into my bed and never come out. It surely wasn’t a secret that I was a virgin, but to be used by the only guy who had been interested in me in years….well, let’s say the tears that stung the back of my eyes were not surprising.


I slowly backed away from the team. Maybe if I got away quietly, they wouldn’t notice the tears threatening to fall. When I managed to get a few meters away, I turn and sprinted from the field. I ran and I didn’t stop. I kept going. I wasn’t sure where because my eyes were blinded by the tears that slid down my face, but I was just surprised that I didn’t run into anything.


I spoke to soon. I felt something collide with my shoulder which made me spin to the ground. I immediately collapsed, realizing how much I was running. Tears oozed from my eyes and I felt my throat constricting as I tried to choke back my sobs. It wasn’t easy. I felt pitiful. So pitiful, that I didn’t protest when someone wrapped their arms around me and began to stroke my mangled hair. Somehow I had lost my hat.


“Don’t listen to him, Lenny.” The person whispered into my hair. I recognized Sirius’s voice and scooted away as fast as I could, my back hitting the corridor wall. I wiped viciously at my tears to get them to go away, only to have more come back. Bloody tears, you will be the death of me.


”I-I’m fine.” I choked. I sounded far from fine and it looked like Sirius didn’t believe me either.




“N-no. Please don’t,” I sniffed, scooting further up the wall as Sirius tried to come towards me. He stopped, looking crest-fallen.


“I won’t hurt you, Lenny.” He whispered. It wasn’t that I was afraid he would hurt me, I was used to getting physically hurt. It was the fact that Sirius had stood up for me. He had defended me in front of our whole Quidditch team. He was doing a complete 180 and I don’t think I could get used to it that easily. He wasn’t the Sirius Black that I knew.


“What happened to you?” I asked, wiping the snot that was forming on the bottom of my nose onto my sleeve. I felt myself sweating through all the sweaters, but I didn’t care.


“What do you mean?” Sirius actually did look genuinely confused.


“You used to hate me, Sirius. Now you’re standing up for me and throwing punches for me.” I stated. He blinked a few times. Did he still not understand what I was saying? Maybe I was speaking in a different language.


“You’ve changed too, you know.” He responded, getting up and running a hand through his dark hair, only for it to fall back into its same place.


“Me? I’m still the nutter I’ve always been.” I responded, getting up as well. He chuckled at me, shaking his head.


“You call me Sirius now. Not Black.” He smirked down at me as we fell into a walk towards the common room. I twitched slightly at noticing this wasn’t the first time this has been mentioned to me.


“Prefer if I called you Black?” I asked. He chuckled, a smile forming on his face. I know I’ve said this before, but his smile changes his whole face. The little wrinkles at the corner of his eyes, the sparkling teeth, and the squinting of his shining grey eyes. I’m going crazy, I’m telling you.


“No, I’ll pass on that.” He said, turning towards the Fat Lady. “Bowtruckles.”


“Right…well, hope your eye gets better. This injury wasn’t my fault.” I started to make my way towards the girl’s staircase.


“See you later, Lenny.” Sirius said, turning towards the couch where Remus was lounging. I stopped on the staircase. Taking off two of my sweaters. It was bloody hot!


“I don’t know what to write her, Moony.” I heard Sirius whine.


“Here, I’ll bloody help you,” Remus hissed at Sirius. “Write this down.”


“Okay, okay! Make it sound like me, though.” Sirius said back.


“If someone is perfect, you don’t find the flaws in them that made you fall in love with them….” Remus started to talk softer, so I couldn’t hear him anymore. Furrowing my eyebrows, I continued up to my dorm.


I was not prepared for what I came in to. How had Alice beat me up here? I didn’t know she had this much anger built up in her. I also didn’t know she had that good of an arm. Lily shouldn’t be standing in the line of fire. She’s really going to get hurt. Yup, Lily’s down with a shoe to the forehead.


“You slag! You wanker! You slapper!” Alice threw something across the room with every insult she wailed. Mary was cowering behind her bed, trying her best to avoid everything Alice was throwing at her. I don’t think Alice has ever used this kind of language before. It was kind of funny.


“It isn’t my fault, Alice!” Mary shouted, finally standing up. Round two was all I could think.


Not your fault? Ha!” Alice threw a book across the room. Lily scooted towards me, standing up once she was out of the way.


“He likes me!” Mary defended. This seemed to get Alice more mad. She reached for a lamp, but Lily acted quickly, accioing the lamp to her.


“I don’t think so, Alice. You need to calm down.” Lily tried. Alice must have just realized she had a wand and took it out, aiming at Mary.


I leapt at Alice, knocking her to the ground. She struggled a bit, but was too tired to fight me much. Once she stopped struggling, she began to bawl. Tears poured out of her eyes like a waterfall. She was definitely not an attractive crier. She tried to hide her face in her hands as I got up, but her tiny hands didn’t cover up the sobs. She was a mess. Lily rushed forward, putting an arm around Alice and tried to soothe her. Good thing, because I felt incredibly awkward with her crying and me not doing anything.


“What happened?” I asked the room, hoping someone would answer.


She snogged him!” Alice cried, pointing a finger at Mary. Mary huffed, sitting down on her bed and crossing her arms.


“Who’d she snog?” I asked, sitting down in front of Alice.


“Frank Longbottom.” Lily whispered. I nodded in understanding. You could be blind and still see how Alice felt about the Hufflepuff boy.


“When was this?” I asked, turning towards Mary for an answer. She flopped down on her pillow, her blonde hair billowing out below her.


“The night of the party. Alice was busy snogging Otto Bagman. Thought Frank deserved a little fun too.” Mary said this so chillingly that I actually believed we were talking about Charms homework for a moment.


“No, I was talking to Otto! I wasn’t snogging him!” Alice was back on her feet, advancing towards Mary again.


I sighed, deciding not to get involved this time. Lennyland looked mighty good right about now. Why did everyone find the need to fight today? Was it a full moon tonight? Was everyone PMSing? I think so. It must be everyone’s time of the month. I heard a small tap over the noise of the girls’ shouting and peeked at the window to see a brown barn owl staring at me with its large eyes. I rushed towards the window, taking the L.C. letter from it, but frowned upon reading it.



Different is great! You don’t have to be perfect, that’s my point. If someone is perfect, you don’t find the flaws in them that make you fall in love with them. You don’t fall for someone based on their good qualities, you fall for someone based on their flaws. That’s why people don’t tend to fall truly in love more than once or twice. Because someone else might find a quality disgusting, while someone else might find it amazing.


My worst habit is picking my calluses. I get a lot because James works the team to the core. He’s dedicated to the game (he could use with picking a better beater for me, though). He’ given Lenny 6 concussions this year! He just works her so hard so she doesn’t day dream on the field like last year. She let Slytherin score 3 times because she was in “Lennyland”.


By the way, a step at a time is all I need.




p.s. Is it pathetic that your letters are the highlight of my day, even the bad ones?


Remus had told him what to write. Remus had given him the words to say. I knew that Remus could be smooth, but all I had wanted was Sirius to use his own words. Had this always been Remus telling Sirius what to say? Had this all been a lie? In truth, it was a lie aleady. I wasn’t the L.C. he wanted. I was Lenny to him. Not L.C.



I would’ve found that cute and maybe would have swooned over what you wrote. I might have giggled and told my imaginary friend (he’s an imaginary chinchilla named Cheddar-he’s a great listener!) that Sirius Black (the name that I curse to Cheddar) isn’t all that bad. I almost did all of this. Almost. Until I overheard Remus Lupin saying this to you. You were almost suave. Too bad you ruined it, huh? Why am I even writing with you? This isn’t real. I’m the last one to talk about “the real world”, but this fantasy is too large even for me to keep in my head. I’m not the blonde, blue eyed veela you expect. I’m just L.C. I’m not even that. I’m ordinary. I’ve never been good enough, Sirius. I never will be.




I sent the letter back with the owl and continued to listen to Alice and Mary shout back and forth with one another. My head began to pound as I closed my eyes, re-reading the letter in my head. I really wasn’t good enough. Who was I trying to kid? Ludo had used me, hoping for a shag. I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I yanked the curtains closed around my bed. Lennyland, please take over. I don’t think the real world needs me right now.

Author's Note: So, things are heating up! Lenny is starting to question what is going on. Sirius is being too nice to her, Ludo used her, and Mary snogged Frank Longbottom. Everything is just spinning into a big drama field. Lenny is crying?! Someone help her :(. So let me know what you think. Who's your favorite character? Who do you want to see more of? Who do you want to see less of? We're at 6,000 views!! Over 100 reviews! Thank you all for following this story, I really really appreciate it!



Chapter 16: Learning the Crowleys
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BEAUTIFUL chapter image by aconite @ TDA



If I bit my fingernails enough, would they fall off? Probably. Was I willing to test this theory? Yes. Well, apparently I was. I was nibbling my fingernails into nothingness. Why, might you ask? Because I am a horrible person. I get satifaction in eating my fingernails. Gross, but let’s get over it. We have more serious matters to worry about.


Like why Teddy sent me an owl in the middle of the night, telling me to meet him in the empty classroom next to the Charms classroom. He had claimed it was urgent. I don’t think anything has ever been urgent to Teddy. The last time he sent me an owl in the middle of the night, he was telling me he lost his virginity. You can’t lose it twice, can you? He wasn’t coming to tell me he was proposing to Mary, was he? I thought Mary had scared him off.


Teddy pushed open the door, still in his baby blue pajamas. I would’ve made some sort of funny comment, but the look on his face froze my words. He had tears running down his face and seemed completely out of breath. Like he had been sobbing. He crossed the room, engulfing me in his large arms and burying his face into my hair. He shook with sobs. He’s lucky that he’s the only person I’d let do this.


“What’s going on, Teddy?” I asked him in a whisper. He pulled away, wiping the tears off of his face. Without a word, he handed me a letter. A letter scribbled in my mother’s handwriting.



I don’t know how to place this lightly. Your father is in Azkaban. He caught me cheating on him and he went after the bloke who I cheated on him with. He killed him, to say the least. Mangled his body. The guy was my boss, so now I’m without a job. I had to sell the house. I’m living with an old friend from school for now until I can find a new job. She thinks she can get me in at the local bar, so we will see. Until further notice, I would like the two of you to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas Break. I’ll let you know of anything new that happens. Be careful at Hogwarts, dear. Tell Lenora what is going on. She doesn’t send us letters, so I thought to only send this to you. Congradulations on scoring on Lenny. She got your father’s skill. Except I hope she doesn’t kill anyone.


Love always,



I had to read the letter three times to make sure I had read it correctly. How could Mum be so nonchalant about this? How could she be so calm while her husband was in Azkaban and she was without a job? I felt the tears stinging my eyes, but fought them away. Teddy sniffled into his sleeve. He was always a pansy. When it was just us two, he bawled like a baby with a butt rash.


I looked up at Teddy, blinking the tears away as fast as I could. This was just a joke. Mum always had a horrible sense of humor. She had thought one time that it would be funny to make all vegetables for supper. Dad was allergic to half of them and broke out in hives. Mum laughed about it the next day as we sat around Dad’s hospital bed. Dad however wouldn’t allow Mum to say a joke like that in a letter. Dad knew what hurt his kids and wouldn’t let Mum make Teddy cry (again).


“Father wouldn’t kill someone, Teddy.” I whispered, dropping the letter out of my hand. It was impossible. Dad was my marshmallow. He only ever killed a spider because I shrieked for ages. He did it to shut me up.


“He did, Lenny.” Teddy whispered back. Teddy then pulled out the Daily Prophet. Since it was nearly five, the next day’s paper was already out. Dad was on the cover. His hair was drenched in sweat, sticking to his face. His dark eyes were wide as he stared at the camera. He was wearing an Azkaban suit, holding a number in front of his body. He smirked at the camera, suddenly looking mad. This wasn’t the man I had looked up to so many times. This wasn’t the man who had kissed my knees when I had nose dived off of my toy broom. This wasn’t the man who had woken me up early Christmas day to hunt nargles. This wasn’t my father. It couldn’t be.


I threw the paper at the ground, feeling the tears stinging my eyes. I felt the anger boiling up inside of me. How the hell could he do this to me? How could he just leave me? How could he get himself locked up like that? How could Mum have an affair? How could she push Dad into killing someone? My fists clenched, my knuckles turning white. I wanted to hit something. I wanted to drive my fist straight through a wall. Bugger to Potter for not having practice the week of Thanksgiving. I needed to let out my frustration.


So what do I do? I run. Really, I’m not as fit as I let on. I just needed to get as far away from that damn paper as possible. I needed to get far away from Teddy. He looked just like Dad. I couldn’t stand to be around him. I felt the tears pouring down my face as I ran. I may still be in my Quidditch embroidered pajamas, but getting away was all I could think of doing. I was breathless when I made it to the one-eyed witch with a hump. Where does one go when they need to get away? Hogsmeade. Thank Merlin for making the drinking age 17.


When I managed to make it to Hogsmeade, it was around 7 a.m. I may have classes today, but I’m sure I wouldn’t miss a damn thing. First thing I needed to do was get out of these pajamas. If there was one good thing my parents left me, it was the money that was carried with me wherever I went. It didn’t bother me that I sounded like I had chains attached to me wherever I went, it was incredibly useful. Sometimes. Like this.


Normally, pubs don’t open until 11, so I had some wandering to do. I normally hate shopping, but I took all the opportunities I had to get my head off of all of this nonsense. I picked out a new red sweater that hugged me way too much. I bought a new pair of jeans that felt a size too small. I even bought a new, leather jacket that was far too expensive for my liking, but it was something different. I needed different right now. It made everything feel so much better.


Come 11, I hit every pub that there was. I ordered pint after pint after pint. By 5, I was smashed. I didn’t eat, just drank. People looked at me oddly as I staggered down the streets, but I didn’t care. I had full reason. Screw all the haters. They can be eaten by the Giant Squid for all I care. I might just feed them to the Squid myself. That’d make everything so much easier. I’d feel very satisfied.


I could barely stand up straight. I think I had five hands. I couldn’t feel my legs. I was trying my hardest to walk in a straight line without toppling over. I was failing miserably. My mind was swirling all together, so I had no recollection of all the things that happened the day before. Suddenly, I found myself falling over the threshold of the Three Broomsticks. It was packed with older wizards, all chatting it up over their dinners. I mumbled something that I didn’t even understand, before crawling over to a stool and pushing myself up onto it.


“Fire whiskey!” I shouted, hoping to get the attention of the barmaid. She shot me a dirty look, before giving me a pint. Success. I downed it as quickly as I could.


“Shouldn’t you slow down a bit?” A red-haired man asked me from my side. I glared as hard as I could at him. His face looked like he had two noses.


“Shouldn’t you be minding your own business?” I asked, but my voice slurred together so my words were incoherent.


“Err…just wondering.” He mumbled, turning back to his plate of chips. Yeah that’s right, eat your chips with shame. Eat your chips by yourself. I frowned. I was by myself too. Well bugger on loneliness.


I watched as the bar maid worked her way through the cluttered bar, passing drinks, taking money, and dodging around a few stray arms that were reaching for her bottom. It was like she was doing an elegant dance while still working. I immediately was envious of her shiny blonde hair tie up in a messy ponytail and her long legs sticking out of her skirt. A few men shouted jeers at her to which she ignored. At least she got the compliments. I didn’t even get comments made towards me.


“Am I pretty?” I asked, leaning towards the ginger next to me. He looked extremely shocked. Or constipated. I wasn’t sure which.


“What?” he asked. Maybe I was drunker than I think.


“Do I have a nice face? Would you shag me?” I reworded. He blinked a few times before letting a smirk cover his face.


“I wouldn’t necessarily say I’d shag you, but yes, you’re very pretty.” He told me, laughing into his chips. I’m pretty? Good enough answer for me.


“I’m pretty too, you know.” I told the bar maid with a smug smile as she put another pint in front of me. She eyed me warily before nodding and turning away again. Bugger to her, I was pretty.


I left the Three Broomsticks at around 11. I felt exhausted and was far too drunk to make it back without being noticed. I had to actually break into Honeydukes to return. I think I had woken the storekeeper up, but had made it to his cellar before he found me. It took me until half past midnight to make it back to Hogwarts. I had fallen multiple times, causing my hands to be very scraped up. I think I had managed to put a large hole in the knee of my new jeans. Bugger. I stumbled out of the passageway and lay there for a few seconds.


I didn’t feel up to moving. This stone floor was actually pretty comfortable. As it was the day before Thanksgiving, we didn’t have classes the next day. I could probably sleep here without anyone noticing me. It sounded very tempting. That is, until I heard a very suspicious churping noise. I took off towards the Gryffindor common room. Err…at least I felt like I was heading in the right direction.


Ouch! When did that wall get there? I rubbed my shoulder. Hell, I couldn’t walk in a straight line. I fell over several times. I felt my palms were beginning to become raw. I fell for the forth time and lay there, not moving. Maybe if I played dead, a ghost would try to take me over and would be able to control my body correctly. Once I sobered up, then I would be able to take my body from the ghost. For now, it would have to take me over.


“Lenny?” I heard someone question. I didn’t open my eyes, but smiled. The ghost had answered my wishes.


“Take me now before I change my mind,” I mumbled.


“Err, what?” the voice asked me. I peeked a eye open to see about five Remus’s giving me an identical look.


“None of you are Nearly Headless Nick or Moaning Myrtle.” I stated, sitting up. I felt nausea take over me, but swallowed back the desire to vomit everywhere.


“What are you going on about?” Remus asked, grabbing my arm and yanking me to my feet. I nearly collapsed into his side. “You smell disgusting! Have you been drinking?”


“Yes’m.” I slurred, letting him hold me steady. Remus was bloody strong.


“Let’s get going before you get in trouble for being out of bed,” Remus sighed, dragging me down the hall.


“We can get in trouble together!” I exclaimed.


“I’m a prefect.”


“Oh. Bugger. Am I in trouble?”


“No, Lenny, you’re not. Just keep moving.” Remus pushed me first up the flight of stairs. Oh bloody hell, which stair was the real one and which were the ones caused by my drunkenness? I took a guess. Wrong. I began to fall backwards, but felt Remus steadying my back. I heard Remus’s angry sigh from behind me.


“Are you mad at me? Don’t be mad at me! I don’t like people being mad at me.” I whined. I glanced back to see Remus’s eyes drooping and his face pale. Great, now I made him sick.


“I’m just very tired, Lenny. That’s all.” Remus mumbled, rubbing his eyes for effect. At least it looked like he rubbed his eye. It could’ve been his ear with how drunk I was. Oh well.

”Do you have a lot of ear wax?” I asked him. It was an honest question, I was curious. I had a lot. Way too much, actually. It was kind of disgusting.


“What?” Remus did a double-take of me. “Bowtruckles.” Remus told a very disgruntled Fat Lady. She mumbled a few things, but I didn’t hear it.


“I have a lot of ear wax. Can we get a really big ear swab? I think they need to be cleaned.” I went to stick my pinky in my ear, but Remus grabbed it away.


“Lenny, you’re far too drunk.” I nodded at this. I knew that. “Come stay in our dorms tonight. You do not want to wake up any of your roommates.”


Well, that was true. They were a bit crabby when I messed up their “beauty sleep”. I didn’t see why beauty sleep was so important. I thought I was beautiful and I didn’t sleep that much. Bugger to sleeping, who needs it? Mary is ugly and she sleeps all the time. Well, I suppose Lily and Alice are pretty and they sleep a lot too. I guess beauty sleep doesn’t work on evil people.


It took a few pushes and a lot of falls, but we made it up to the boy’s dorms. It looked a lot cleaner than it had a few weeks prior. Though let’s be honest, I couldn’t really see that straight and it was pretty dark in the room. I heard very distinct snoring coming from every single bed. Except one was completely empty. I frowned, knowing it was Ludo’s. He must be staying in his brother’s dorm. Good riddance.


“I don’t wanna sleep in that bed.” I mumbled, pointing towards Ludo’s bed. I felt that it was extremely dirty and that I would catch something if I even got too close to it.


“Well…I heard Sirius’s bed is pretty comfortable.” Remus told me. I didn’t have to look at his face to know he was smirking at me. Comfortable sounded really good right now, though. I would absolutely love to just crash on something comfortable that wasn’t the floor. With the help of Remus, I made it to Sirius’s bed.


He looked oddly peaceful when he slept. He was curled up on his side like a small child, his knees nearly touching his stomach. His face wasn’t contorted in his normal discontent. His arms were wrapped around his pillow and around his own body. If I had a camera, I surely would have taken a picture to show people. No one would believe me if I told him. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to wake him up so instead, I crawled in the small place next to him.


His body practically radiated heat. I had forgotten how cold I was. If I cuddled up next to him, would he notice? His hot breath was pushing against my face as I tried to scoot a little closer without him noticing. Suddenly, he draped an arm over my side. I smiled in spite of myself. He still wasn’t awake. I saw a piece of hair falling into his face. Cliché, but I tried to brush it out of his face. He twitched his nose and started to stir. Oh this wasn’t going to be good.


Upon opening his eyes, he shrieked, falling backwards. His bed isn’t as large as you’d think, so when he moved backwards, he fell right off the bed. He took the blankets with him. Bugger. He was fully awake now, staring at me as though I was a workspurt.


“”What the bloody hell are you doing here?” Sirius hissed, his voice low as to not wake up the rest of the room.


“Remus brought me here.” I explained. Sirius sat up, but didn’t get off the ground. It was the first time I noticed he wasn’t wearing a shirt. I nearly turned as red as the Quidditch team colors. He had a twenty-pack, for Merlin’s sake! Was that even possible?


“Why aren’t you sleeping in his bed, then?” Sirius grumbled, glaring in Remus’s direction. I shrugged, because I really didn’t remember why. Sirius sighed, but got up into the bed, laying as far away from me as he could. He gave me one of his two pillows.


“Why do you smell like you bathed in fire whiskey?” He asked me, peering at my blood shot eyes.


“Spent all day in pubs.” I explained. I could feel myself sobering up, but I still couldn’t tell which Sirius was the real one.


“Why’s that?” Sirius asked me, closing his eyes and snuggling his face into his pillow. I don’t know l, but I felt compelled to tell him.


“My mom sent me a letter. My father killed someone and is in Azkaban. Mum’s without a job.” When I said it outloud, I felt my eyes sting with tears. I hadn’t thought about it all day and when it came out, the reality did too. I didn’t have a father anymore. We didn’t even have a proper family anymore.


“Wait, are you being serious?” Sirius’s eyes popped open and he looked at me with concern.


“No, I’m being Lenny. You’re being Sirius.” I told him. He smirked at me, but didn’t press any further. He casually draped his arm over my side again. I felt my body stiffen. I felt…weird, but comfortable. I felt kind of…safe? I wasn’t sure how to describe it. It must be the alcohol.


“Tell me something, Lenny.” I heard Sirius ask me. I honestly thought he had fallen asleep. I nodded, but upon remembering he didn’t have his eyes open, I cleared my throat.


“Uhm, yeah?” I answered. He peeked out from beneath his eyelids and a small smile filtered over his lips. It made me smile too.


“What’s Lennyland like?” he asked. I shifted nervously. I used to get teased constantly about Lennyland. The only reason he knew about it was because I told my teachers I was in Lennyland whenever I wasn’t paying attention. At least it wasn’t a lie.


“It’s not that interesting.” I mumbled, feeling my face flush.


“I really want to know.” Sirius said, blinking a few times. “Really.”


I don’t know what did it, but it was something in his eyes that made me tell him. I didn’t tell anyone about Lennyland, but here I lay, in Sirius Black’s arms, explaining to him what was all in Lennyland. I told him about the large field I would enter. I told him about the different things that appear in Lennyland when I need to be distracted. I told him how much time I spend in Lennyland. I even told him about how he had appeared in Lennyland. I had killed him. He laughed. I left out the part that he was in Lennyland a few days ago, but I wasn’t killing him. I think I was drunk then, too.


We ended up drifting away from Lennyland and talking about so much more. We talked about Quidditch and how Potter was going to kill us if we weren’t careful. I told him he owed me from Potter making me have to do laps. He laughed. I liked his laugh. I was still drunk, mind you. He made fun of me for losing to him in our duel. I pointed out he was the one that came out with a black eye. He asked me about my relationship with Teddy. Even though I felt a lot less close to him this year, I lied and said me and Teddy were close. Sirius called me out on it, so I admitted that we were drifting apart. Sirius told me about Regulus and how much he wished Regulus wasn’t such a pushover. We even began to play 20 questions.


Shut up!” I heard Potter hiss towards us. I stifled my laughter as Sirius’s voice boomed throughout the room.


“Okay, okay, one more question.” Sirius whispered, letting his laughter die down. I was somehow resting on his chest. His breath tickled my forehead and blew my hair into my face. I grunted, pushing it out of my eyes.


“Okay, it was your turn anyways.” I said, yawning. I felt Sirius drawing small circles on my shoulder, but I didn’t care. I was bloody comfortable. Remus had been right.


“Tell me about your family.” Sirius said. I sighed, but thought of what I could tell him.


“Well, before this letter, we were all pretty close. Teddy and I are the only kids. Both of my parents are half bloods. My mum works…err worked for the Falcon’s advertising committee. She’s a bit of a nutter…I suppose that’s where I get it from. She’s so pretty, though. If you looked past all that came out of her mouth, everyone would love her. My father always had a temper, but he never took it out on us. He loved to spoil us when Mum wasn’t around. My grandparents are dead and I don’t have any aunts or uncles on either side, so it’s really just us. We are pretty close because of it. I mean…I suppose that’s all.” I ranted. Sirius didn’t say anything. I glanced up to make sure he wasn’t asleep, but he had his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.


“You must be like your mum.” He told me. I frowned, so he went on to explain. “Beautiful. You just have to look past the weird things that come out of her mouth.”


I froze up. I had no clue what to say to that. Did he just compliment me? Did he just flirt with me? This was beyond weird. I knew I was drunk, but that didn’t constitute weird behavior from other people. Only I was allowed to act strange. That was the general rule. Wait, had Sirius been joking? Had he meant I was a nutter? Probably. He’s always thought I was a nutter. This was just too strange. I was cuddling with Sirius Black and he had complimented me. God, I was too drunk for this.


I looked up at him to notice he was sound asleep, snoring lightly. Although I had the urge to get up and make the trek back to the girl’s dorms, I stayed put. In all ways, I should’ve gotten up and walked away. I should’ve accepted Lily’s wrath with greatness. I knew that it was incredibly wrong for me to sit here, but I felt connected with Sirius. Not just because I was resting against his chest, but because of the letters. Is it horrible for me to take advantage of that? Probably.


But hey, I’m drunk. I’m allowed to do things I want.


Author's Note: So tell me, how am I doing? Love it? Hate it? Think it's cliche? Think its not cliche enough? I love reviews and I always respond. I need to know what you readers think. I am always amazingly flattered when I see someone says "I love this story" or if they can relate to Lenny. That's the goal, loves.

Ive added some amazing chapter images to earlier chapters, so if you're interested in how I see certain characters, take a peek. If this chapter is worth a review, please give it :D.

Chapter 17: For Better or Worse
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Super awesome chapter image by aconite @ TDA! 



 What good has magic ever done for me? I thought I had magic running in my veins. Shouldn’t I have special powers? Shouldn’t I be able to feel powerful enough to magick my worries away? Like this damn headache. I wanted to magick it away. Please Merlin, come take my whole head. I felt like it was going to fall off. I felt like there were tiny animals stomping all over my face. Animals with very big feet. Like a mini Big Foot.

When I opened my eyes, I slammed them shut again. The sun was right next to me! When the bloody hell did the window move to next to my bed? When did the sun form a vendetta against me and try to blind me? Oh, I’ll figure you out yet, sun. We are not yet finished. I will have my revenge.

I rolled over, trying to get away from the sun for when I opened my eyes next when I made contact with something solid. It grunted and I felt it shift at my side before settling back down. Well, either nargles became incredibly large and lazy, or someone was sleeping in my bed. I nearly laughed to myself. The first was far more likely because, let’s be honest, who would sleep in my bed with me?

I pried my eyes open and what was in front of me scared the crazy right out of me (impossible, I know). I nearly screamed, but somehow swallowed it. This wasn’t my bed! This wasn’t my room! This definitely wasn’t an overgrown, lazy nargle. This was Sirius Black. Shirtless. With his body far too close to mine. I was definitely going to catch cooties if I wasn’t careful.

I peeled myself away from the bed (yes, I was sweating, leave me alone) and crossed the room as quiet as I could. I tip-toed over their dirty clothing and weaved in and out of their piles of socks (which is the worst smell ever). My portion of my didn’t even compare to this. What was I thinking last night when I thought it was mildly clean? I was drunk, I wasn’t thinking right.


I was almost in the clear. I was steps away from the door when I stubbed my toe on something that sent a searing pain up my leg. I yelped extremely loud and there was a stir from each bed. Just as they began to stir, the door to the dorm opened. Ludo was standing here, staring down at me in confusion. I took this as my opportunity to ninja roll out of the room, smacking my legs against the wall in the outside hallway.

I managed to kick the door shut behind Ludo. I took a big sigh. Other than the fact that that was an amazing roll to get out of the room (I felt extremely proud of this), but I managed to get out without extremely awkward questions. I did not want to see the look on Potter’s face when he saw his keeper in Sirius’s bed. There would be assumptions. We cannot have assumptions. Especially not with Sirius.

Being too tired to move, I decided to rest myself against the wall next to their door. Hitting the wall made me want to sit there a few extra seconds to make sure I didn’t damage anything. I was beginning to get a high pain tolerance after all the bumps and bruises in Quidditch…and the concussions. I heard the muffled voices in the room behind me and strained to hear them.

“So you shagged her before me? Congraduations, Black,” I heard Ludo hiss.

“She needed a place to stay.” Remus defended Sirius.

“In Black’s bed? Convenient,” Ludo laughed at the end of his statement.

“Me and Crowley? You’ve got to be kidding me, Bagman. Even you’re not that stupid,” Sirius growled. I cringed at that one.

“Call them as I see them!” Ludo said, shuffling something around in the room

“What are you even doing in here?” I heard Potter ask.

“Just came to get some clothes. Don’t mean any harm.” Ludo answered, his voice muffled.

“That’s not preventing the harm. Get out.” Sirius growled.

“Fine. Want me to tell Lenny anything for you?” Ludo asked sarcastically.

“Oh bugger off, Bagman. You’re crazy if you think anything would ever happen between me and Loony Lenny.” Sirius yelled as Ludo pulled open the door and smirked down at me. I felt tiny and insignificant as he laughed, shaking his head. He knelt down next to me as though I were a little child. I felt like one.

“Hear that, L.C.? Nothing could ever happen between you and him,” Ludo whispered. I didn’t want anything to happen between Sirius and I. So why were my eyes watering? Why did I feel this pang in my chest? I pushed myself off the ground and ran. I ran from Ludo’s laughter. I ran from Sirius’s voice saying he didn’t want me.

I slammed open the door of my dorm room to see Lily pulling on a pair or socks. Alice was combing her hair in the mirror and Mary was staring at herself in a hand-held mirror. They all three looked up upon my arrival. I felt the tears stinging my eyes, but with one blink, they were gone. Lily jumped to her feet, fuming. Her face and eyes were almost as red as her hair. I was tempted to ask if she was a metamorphmagus, but held back. I don’t think right now would be the right time.

“Where the bloody hell have you been?!” Lily shouted, throwing her arms into the air. I felt the tears prick my eyes again.

“You haven’t been here for days!” Alice joined in on Lily’s worry. Except Alice’s worry was real worry while Lily’s was anger.

“I-I know,” I stuttered. I suddenly was aware that I slept in my clothes from yesterday. I smelt like a pub floor. But worse. I went towards my bed, shuffling through my trunk for different clothes.

“That’s all you have to say for yourself?!” Lily stomped over towards me, yanking the pants I was about to change into out of my hands. I groaned. Her voice was so loud, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to get the echo out of my head.

“Leave the girl alone. Didn’t you see the Daily Prophet yesterday?” Mary said from her bed, applying a large coat of mascara. I was tempted to kiss her, but remembered she snogged Frank Longbottom. I was supposed to be mad at her.

“Bugger off, McDonald. This has nothing to do with you,” Alice hissed, glaring in Mary’s direction.

“I don’t care what was in the paper! You cannot just run off and not come back! As head girl-“


“Did I stutter? Leave the girl alone, Evans!” Mary was on her feet now, crossing the room in a few strides. Lily’s head rolled back as she laughed at Mary.

“Like you left Longbottom alone, right?” Lily growled, turning her fury towards Mary now.

“We going into that, are we?” Mary asked in false sincerity. Alice’s face started to go red with embarrassment.

“No we’re not, actually,” Lily turned towards me again. I thought I was in the clear. Damn.

“Her father was sent to Azkaban and you’re going to try to lecture her?” Mary scoffed, turning away from Lily in defeat.

“Your brother seemed to be fine showing up to class, but not you?” Lily asked, crossing her arms and staring at me in defiance.

Teddy could show up because he wasn’t as close to Father as I was. Father didn’t sneak Teddy extra pieces of pie when Mom had her back turned. Father didn’t stay up late on Teddy and I’s birthday night to wish him a happy birthday. Father didn’t pick roses for Teddy when he was sick. Father didn’t call Teddy his ‘little princess’. I know parents aren’t supposed to pick favorites, but I was definitely Father’s favorite. The tears pricked my eyes, except this time, I wasn’t trying to hold them back. One slipped down my cheek and the whole room seemed to freeze.

“Well, maybe he should be the Gryffindor then,” I managed to whisper. Lily frowned, but stopped pressing. Instead of changing into proper clothes, I climbed into bed and was planning on burrowing away for the rest of the day.

Okay, so maybe burrowing in my bed for eternity wasn’t a good idea. Mainly because I got very hungry. I don’t like to starve. I didn’t want to give the girls the satisfaction of seeing me leave, however. I waited until they had left to go to dinner and ran to the kitchens. Not literally; I had already ran enough for a lifetime. When am I ever going to need to run this much? Quidditch is in the air! Luckily for me, the house elves were scurrying to help me. I had managed to get a plateful of delicious food in five minutes.

I had scurried back up to the dorm, jumping on my bed in glee. I began to stuff the chicken leg into my mouth when there was a tap on the window. An owl was there, hooting at me. I could see the letter tied around its ankle, addressed to me.


You’re far from ordinary. Yes, I did quote Remus, but that doesn’t make it less true. This does mean that you gave me a very big clue: you’re a Gryffindor. I’m narrowing this down, L.C.


I’m going to be honest with you, okay? I’m used to someone faking perfection around me. It’s why I date so many girls. At first, the girl seems perfect and I don’t find a single flaw; things go so well. It makes me believe that there really isn’t anything I dislike about them. Then, they do something every other girl has done: they show the flaws I can’t stand. They become jealous, obsessed and start to try to drag me away from my friends. They’ve lied all along. Crazy as it sounds, I date to fall in love, too. Guys won’t admit it, but we are trying to find our “soul mate”. I didn’t seriously think that you’d be the “one” for me. When I came up with your initials, I thought it was a joke, but I saw it as a challenge when I couldn’t figure out who you were. Then when you wouldn’t tell me who you were, I saw a new opportunity. With you I’m not Sirius Black, the guy who can get anyone. You treat me like a person. Albeit you treat me not so amazingly, you still treat me like I’m not perfect either.


You’re far from ordinary, L.C.


-Sirius Black

I stared down at the letter. I didn’t know how to react to this. Sirius Black, the guy who I’ve hated since third year, the guy who broke my arse. That was who was writing me these letters. That’s who was far too charming for his own good. That was who I had cuddled with the night before. When did this all change? When did I start to think sanely about someone? When did I think sanely about Black?!

My head pounded as I re-read the letter. Wait, was that my head? No…that was my heart. It was ready to leap out of my chest and flutter out the window. I think it wanted to commit suicide or something. Fine by me, less I have to deal with in my body. It was when I read the letter the third time that I realized something. Something that was really really hard for me to admit. I liked getting these letters from him. I liked the attention he gave me. I didn’t like the pounding of my heart, though. That had to stop.

I grabbed a canary cream and began to eat it when the door opened and in walked all three girls. I continued to chew, staring down at the way Sirius wrote my initials. I liked it. The L curved so elegantly into the C that I could swear it looked like calligraphy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was doing this on purpose, the buffoon. I smiled to myself. He did kind of look like a monkey. A cute one. With small ears.

“Lenny?” I heard Lily’s small voice ask. I didn’t look up from the letter. The thought of Sirius looking for love was kind of intriguing. “Look, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to make you so upset, it’s just when you didn’t show up-“

“What is perfect, anyways?” I asked, cutting her off. I tore my eyes away from the letter. Lily was looking at me in confusion, her mouth half open.

“Er-what?” Lily shook her head a little, shifting her weight. I’m sure she thought I was going to yell at her. She hadn’t made me mad (which I would’ve yelled at her for), she made me sad. When I’m sad, I don’t yell.

“Here,” I handed her the letter and let her read it. She had a small smile on her face as she scanned it. I was sure she read it a good few times.

“Marry him,” she proclaimed, falling back onto her bed dramatically. She sighed, clutching the letter to her heart.

“You know that letter’s not for you, right?” I asked her. She sat up with a chuckle and nodded. Good-that was my sappy love letter.

“I wish it was!” Lily exclaimed.

“So you’re in love with Sirius?” I asked her. Suddenly, her eyes got wide at me. What, had I just actually said the truth? Was Lily living vicariously through my letters with him. Then there was a gasp as Mary emerged from the bathroom, a large smirk on her face.

“So that’s who all those suspicious letters you’re getting are from!” she shrieked. She started to laugh like a mad woman. And they say I’m crazy.

“Say one word, McDonald and I swear-“ Lily warned, but Mary just scoffed at her.

“I’ve got nothing against Lenny. I wouldn’t say anything about it,” Mary said, flopping down on her bed and opening a magazine.Since when did she not have something against me? I blinked a few times, then yanked my letter from Lily’s fingertips.

“What are you going to write back?” Alice asked. I had nearly forgotten she was there and listening in.

“Nothing,” Mary answered before I had the chance. “Play hard to get, Crowley. If you don’t respond, I’m willing to bet he sends you a letter by morning.”

I looked at the other two girls. I was new to this whole thing; I wasn’t sure what was right or wrong. Was I really looking for advice? Well, yes. I’m a bit pathetic, I know. Alice was staring at her comforter with way too much interest. Lily was glaring at Mary.

“Sirius fell for the girl writing these letters, not some typical slag who-“ Lily began to get louder, but Alice cut her off with a small cough.

“I think it might be a good idea,” Alice mumbled. I had to lean forward in order to hear her, but I think I caught what she said. Otherwise she told Mary to eat her hairbrush. That was pretty likely now that I think about it.

“Yeah! Change tings up a bit, Crowley. You don’t want to be predictable. Black hates predictable,” Mary said, combing her hair. I blinked a few times down at the paper. Is that what happened to his exes? They got predictable?

For some reason, I set the letter under my bed (I still didn’t bloody trust those girls) and crawled into bed. Just because I had spent all day out in bed didn’t mean I wasn’t ready to drool all over my pillow. Because I was. And I did, I assure you.

Is it really that predictable that it would be snowing on December first? I think it must be, because I woke up to squealing. I thought I was always the first one up, but it seems Alice loves snow. It was like she had smelt the snow and gotten up before me. I think the squeal was to torture me. I actually took joy in waking up first. It made for a good day. Today? Well, it wouldn’t be good. Especially because I hate snow.

Snow is disgusting. It makes the temperature bloody freezing. Snow makes you put on layers and layers of clothing, then when you get inside you sweat your buns off. It’s wet, sometimes yellow, and hurts when you get hit by it. I didn’t go out when it snowed. I had skipped a lot of Herbology lessons because of this blasted snow. I was I luck, however. Today was a Sunday. Finally, a day off. But the rest of December did not look promising.

“Get up, Lenny! It’s snowing!” Alice yelled in my direction. Mary had her curtains pulled and was mumbling incoherent swear words from under her pillow. Lily was sitting on the edge of her bed, her green eyes glowing as she stared at the window. I looked in that direction as well, seeing that there was already about a foot of snow. I stared at the clock in shock as my eyes scanned it. Seven in the morning? How had I slept in that late?

“I held her back for as long as possible. You were tossing all night,” Lily informed me, pulling a sweater over her mass of red hair that seemed to not want to lie down. I nodded, pulling a blanket around my shoulders.

“Snowball fight!” Alice screeched, taking off out of the room. This is the most outgoing I’ve seen Alice….well, ever. She was never a yeller like this. The last time she yelled was at Mary when she snogged Frank. Lily laughed, taking off after Alice. I was about to go perch myself on a nice armchair by the fire and do some homework (more like nap), when a small tap came from the window. A midnight black owl (covered in snow) was seemingly trying to smash his way through the glass.

“Told you,” Mary mumbled into her pillow. I let the bird in, reluctantly taking the letter from its leg.


You didn’t write, so I’m assuming you’re dead.

Kidding. Will you meet me by the fire at midnight tonight? I need to see you. Don’t respond. Just show up or don’t show up.

Always yours,


“So are you going, then?” Mary asked, peeking over my shoulder. I nearly leapt out of my skin at her voice in my ear. Not only did I not realize she got up, I didn’t even realize she was behind me. I let my heartbeat slow down (it really didn’t want to). I sat on the edge of the bed, letting my fingers graze the parchment.

If I did go, all my hard work (haha) of keeping L.C. a secret would be ruined. Then again, there was a lot of people who already knew. Teddy, Remus, Mary, Lily, Alice, and Marlene all knew. Needless to say, none of them were Sirius. If he were to find out, this whole letter thing would be over. Who knows what would even happen after that? We had been slowly becoming friends; would that be ruined?

I thought back to the night before, lying in his arms. Was it wrong of me to think about it? He had comforted me. He had let me into his bed and even into his arms (literally). He wasn’t the Sirius Black he used to be. He was new and improved (or so I like to think). Things had changed. I didn’t hate him anymore. Hell, I’d even admit I tolerated him now. He was…tolerable. So when I looked up at Mary, she knew my answer before I said it.

“I think so,” I told her. She smirked, turning away from me. Tonight Sirius Black would find out about L.C. For better or worse. I’d be willing to bet on worse.

Author's Note: Soooo?! Is what Sirius said a little harsh? Why was Lenny so willing to forget about it when she got back to her dorm? Bigger fish to fry when she thought of her father? What's up with Sirius' sap letter? Let me know what you think, guys! I always appreciate reviews about how I'm doing and what you like about the story :D.

And oh Merlin, Lenny is going to go meet Sirius and tell him she's L.C! 

Chapter 18: Marlene and Lenny Day
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Chapter image by aconite@TDA!


I felt a snowball smack the side of my face. I buckled sideways a bit, but grimaced all the same. I wiped the melting snow off of the side of my face and glared at a group of first years standing under a tree, snickering to one another. I might kill Marlene McKinnon for sending me that owl telling me to meet her by the Quidditch Pitch. Out of all the bloody places, did it have to be the Quidditch Pitch? Especially with all this bloody snow.

I felt the snow crunching beneath my feet as my boots sank into the ground. I groaned, feeling the bottom of my pants already beginning to get soaked. I’d kill Marlene. She was asking for it, really. She was asking for the snow demons to attack her. If I had control over them, I’d make them attack her. It was bloody cold out here. If snow could die, I’d kill it. I took out my wand and cast at the ground. Fire melted the snow. I smirked to myself in satisfaction.

The pitch looked disgusting with the snow on the hoops. I wanted to vomit a little bit. I saw Marlene nearly hopping on the spot when she saw me coming. I grimaced as he flopped onto her back and began to make a snow angel. What was wrong with people? I felt like the snow was going to engulf her. I wouldn’t be surprised. Snow was pretty evil. Marlene was pretty evil too, though. I watched her cautiously.

“What the bloody hell are you doing?” I asked her, staring at me with an indifferent expression. She sat up, pulling her wool hat further down on her dark hair.

“The snow makes me giddy,” she explained, pushing herself up from the ground and brushing the snow off of her.

“I hate it. Makes me angry,” I told her, kicking at the snow. I’m sure it didn’t feel the pain I wanted it to.

“Sure it does. Anyways,” Marlene wrapped her arm around my shoulder and guided me away from the pitch.

“Where are we going?” I asked her as she pulled me back towards the castle. I didn’t trek out here for nothing.

“We’re going to be spies today,” She explained. I felt my socks starting to get wet now. Great.

“You made me come out in this bloody snow to bring me back inside?” I asked her. She nodded in response. To which I shoved her into the snow. She squealed as I laughed at the shocked expression on her face. She was lucky that bloody snow was there to brace her fall.

“Oi, what was that for?!” She shrieked, pushing herself off of the ground.

“I thought you and the snow would make a good couple,” I told her, trying to walk in the footsteps I made previously.

“I’m going to ignore that comment, Crowley,” Marlene growled, falling into step with me. I was tempted to shove her in the snow again, but I had a feeling she would take me down with her this time.

“So who are we spying on?” I asked. She shoved her hands deep into her coat pockets and a determine look set on her face as she glared at the school.

“Regulus,” She said, tugging her blue scarf tighter around her neck. I didn’t bother questioning it. She probably had reason to go spy on Regulus. He was probably cheating on her or something of that sort. That’s why you don’t trust a Slytherin.

We walked in silence up to the castle. Marlene looked deep in thought. She stayed silent once we made it into the castle. I didn’t question it. Whatever was going on in her head was probably too much for me to comprehend. Those damn Ravenclaws. They think far too much. When we made it into the Entrance Hall, Marlene turned towards the dungeons, not even looking to see if I was following her.

“Why did you have me even come?” I asked Marlene, jogging to catch up to her as she took two steps at a time. Her brows looked ready to meet with the concentration she was releasing.

“I couldn’t ask the girls in my dorm to come do this with me. They’re the biggest gossipers in the school,” Marlene said, peeling her hat off of her head. It seemed her black curls were still staying in perfect condition. I took my own hat off and felt the static take over. She was right, though. The Ravenclaw seventh year girls had huge mouths.

“What are we even looking for?” I asked as Marlene put her ear up to a door, but ended up walking away from it. She crossed the hall, putting her ear up to another door and grinned at me.

“We’re looking for this,” she whispered. Except she pulled away from the door, going to the room next over and pulling it open. I followed her away from the supposed door we had been looking for. She shut the door behind me with a soft click. The room looked like it hadn’t been used in ages. I was pretty sure there were spider webs on spider webs in here. The smell was revolting. I felt like the mold was going to start growing on me pretty soon. It didn’t have much room left.

Marlene pulled out her wand and with a wave, all of the torches roared to life. The room became even more disgusting. I wanted to vomit. Today was already going horribly with all the bloody snow and now here I am stuck in the dungeons with Marlene McKinnon, Ravenclaw hot mess (I heard Teddy calling her that one time). Marlene was facing one of the stone walls, her wand raised. She started mumbling things, waving her wand in silly directions over the wall. I watched stupidly as a translucent screen replaced the wall and suddenly, we could see into the room next to us.

Marlene smirked at me, perching herself on a nearby table. I came up next to her. It was like watching a movie. Regulus was sitting on a chair, staring down at his hands nervously. Theodore Nott, Rabastan Lestrange, Snape, and Avery all stood around him, sneering particularly evilly. I glanced at Marlene as her brow furrowed again, leaning forward as though she were studying a book. Maybe it was a good thing to keep Ravenclaws around.

“Can they hear us?” I whispered, just in case they could. Marlene shook her head, leaning in to be able to hear them better. I did the same.

“The Dark Lord only wants the most loyal of followers, Black,” Rabastan said, sticking his nose high in the air. Subtly, all of the group looked down at his forearm. I did the same, but only saw a cloak.

“I understand that. I’m a Black, Rabastan. We are one of the most trusted lines left. Ask your brother,” Regulus sneered at the larger man. Rabastan huffed, turning away.

“And what about your half blood girlfriend?” Nott spoke up. He smirked as Regulus paled slightly and shifted. They had gotten him on that one apparently. I glanced at Marlene who visably swallowed.

“What about her?” Regulus asked, trying to stay calm. He was a horrible actor. I could see the sweat practically forming on his brow.

“You think the Dark Lord would let her get anywhere near him? You have to get rid of her,” Rabastan said, sitting down in a wooden chair opposite Regulus. It seemed the other three followed suit.

“He wouldn’t make me-“ Regulus started, but was cut off by Rabastan’s harsh laugh. I could practically feel Rabastan’s cold eyes freezing me over.

”You’re 16, mate! He has never recruited so young. He’s going to want to know you’re loyal,” Avery said, brushing his long black hair out of his face. He was the definition of a hippy. An evil one.

“He hasn’t recruited you, Avery. How would you know what he will and won’t do?” Regulus hissed.

“Well, he has recruited me. I say he will make you get rid of her,” Rabastan growled, puffing out his chest.

“Let’s be honest here,” Snape interjected, “The only reason the Dark Lord wants Regulus is because he’s a Black. He’s got a good blood line. I’m sure he wouldn’t have recruited him if Sirius would’ve been in Slytherin.”

“He would have!” Regulus protested like a small child. I glanced at Marlene again to see her biting her finger nails. Out of habit, I started to do it too.

“No, he would not have,” Snape said, keeping his voice very calm. Regulus’s face turned red with anger.

“I’m better than him,” Regulus hissed through a clenched jaw. Snape raised his eyebrows.

“Prove it.”

Regulus was on his feet, wand in his hand before I could blink. Nott and Avery jumped to their feet, pushing Regulus back down into his chair. The whole while, Lestrange laughed. His laugh ran a shiver down my spine. I never liked Rabastan. He cursed all of my socks to turn pink back in our second year after I accidentally killed his pet toad. Maybe he shouldn’t let the damn thing wander around the dungeons while a certain girl has to use the loo. If you saw that disgusting thing sitting in the toilet bowl, you’d flush it too.

“Look, Black,” Rabastan drawled as the two boys finally got Regulus settled down into his chair, “Just break it off with the girl now. That way the Dark Lord will never know that you even had a McKinnon girlfriend.”

Regulus looked troubled by this. His perfectly set face contorted with thought. What were his options, really? Break it off with Marlene or kill her later. Marlene seemed to realize this too, because with a swish of her wand, the translucent screen was gone and the boring stone wall was back. In all honesty, I had wanted to see if I was able to fly through Marlene’s magiked screen. I suppose we can try that another time. I glanced at Marlene and she was more than upset- she was livid.

I’ve never seen someone that upset before in my life. Not even when Teddy caught me cutting holes into his favorite quilt (I needed the polka dots for a collage I was making). She was a mix of emotions. I could see the tears brimming her eyes, but her face was red with anger. Her fists were clenched, but her shoulders were hunched over. I wasn’t even sure if she was breathing, to be honest. She leapt from the table suddenly as I yelled out a yelp in surprise. She stomped over towards the door, slamming it open. I ran after her.

She was already in the next room by the time I made it to the doorway. She was standing in front of Regulus and all of the men were looking at her in shock. Her face still held the mix of emotions. I wasn’t sure how she felt, exactly. That was easily cleared up when she laid a swift slap across Regulus’s face. It wasn’t just a slap, he fell straight out of his chair by the mere force of it. I would cheer if it were appropriate.

“You bloody arsehole!” Marlene shouted. All the males flinched at the sound of her voice.

“Marlene, I-“ Regulus started, getting up to his feet. Marlene looked ready to slap him again, but Regulus held up his hands in protest.

“You stay the bloody hell away from me. You’re a monster, Black. Worse than this lot,” Marlene screamed, slapping him one more time for good measure.

“Ouch,” Nott whispered to someone. Marlene rounded on him, but he immediately cowered away from her. I snorted.

“Let’s go, Lenny,” Marlene said, glaring at the group before stomping over to me and dragging me away.

We made it a good half way out of the dungeons before Marlene collapsed into a heap on the ground. Her sobs ricocheted off of the walls. She shook as tears poured from her eyes like a waterfall. I had no clue what to do. I hated it when people cried. They all cried so differently. Some wanted you to hold them, some wanted you to get as far away from them as possible. Marlene pulled her knees up to her body and began to rock silently back and forth.

I normally pegged Marlene as the type that would want me to get the hell away from her. Yet, she had taken me down here, knowing exactly what she was looking for. In some sick way, I think Marlene wanted to be comforted. To anyone looking on, Marlene was an incredibly strong, beautiful girl. She never let anyone see her suffer in any way. She knew to turn to me to see her break down like this. I was Lenny Crowley, who was I going to tell? Who was going to believe me?

I kneeled down in front of her, wrapping an arm around her sobbing shoulders. Immediately, she fell into my small figure. She was a good few inches taller than me, but somehow she fit in my arms. I tried my best to make it the least bit awkward, but I couldn’t help but not know if I should pat her back or not. Where’s Teddy when I need him? He was always good with the crying girls, not me.

“There, there,” I tried, rubbing circles on Marlene’s back. She managed to calm her sobbing down a bit, sniffling into my shoulder. I looked at the spot to see a little bit of snot mixed in with her tears. After she’s done crying, I’m making her hand wash this sweater.

“You know you make things incredibly awkward,” Marlene laughed, brushing a few tears away from her face. She sighed, looking at the black mascara that had rubbed off on her hands. “I look like a monster.”

“Yes you do,” I told her. She pretended to look offended at me. Well, it was true and she knew it. She had mascara and whatever else she put on her eyes running down the length of her high cheekbones. I didn’t think a shower would even get that nonsense off. Didn’t they make it waterproof or something?

“See you make things awkward, Crowley,” Marlene said, pushing herself off of the ground. I shrugged at her. Was that it? No more tears? No more trying to tell her Regulus ‘didn’t know what he was missing’? Who would pick being a Death Eater over Marlene freaking McKinnon anyways?

See, I could be good at pep talks.

“So now that I’m single, is your brother available?” She asked, threading her arm through mine as I managed to push myself to my feet. Quidditch didn’t help me all the time.

“And you say I make things awkward,” I mumbled.

Marlene had promptly decided by the time we made it back to the Entrance Hall that dinner was not the place to go. She had managed to clean herself up a bit, but rumors flew like wildfire throughout Hogwarts. She claimed not to be ready to hear them yet. She had wanted to skip dinner all together and head up to her dorm, but upon hearing my roaring stomach, she decided to take me to the kitchens instead.

Having Teddy as a brother has its perks. I already knew about the kitchens and the giggling pear (that honestly scares me) and about the bustling house elves. I didn’t have to look like a big idiot whenever Marlene expected my mouth to drop in awe. Truth be told, I loved going to the kitchens. I did it a few days ago so I could avoid the Great Hall myself. Marlene huffed, expecting me to be shocked. Although I always was, I hid it very well (if I do say so myself….which I do).

Somehow, we ended up with far too much food to handle. Not to mention the fire whiskey, red currant rum, some elf-made wine, and Berry Ocky Rot that found their ways to our small table the house elves set up. We ended up drinking more than we ate. Marlene kept pushing glasses and glasses towards me as she whined about Regulus and his snoring. At least that was what I got out of it. We talked for hours. Well, mostly it was her, but I’m a very good listener.

By eleven, we were sloshed. The house elves actually ran out of drinks for us. I had a lot of difficulty seeing my feet. Or my fingers. I couldn’t tell which one was which. Marlene was a giggling mess, but I couldn’t hear her to be honest. I think a bee embedded itself in my ear. Marlene pulled me to my feet and out of the door. Somehow we fell and she landed on top of me. We lay in a heap for a while, giggling like mad. Somehow it was funny. I’m telling you, it was bloody funny.

Do you believe me now? Good.

“I think I’m going to go snog your brother,” Marlene slurred. I managed to slap her arm after several attempts (I was just waiting to hear her protest).

“You will not!” I told her, attempting to keep myself upright by grabbing onto a wall.

“I think I will,” Marlene told me, flipping her black hair over her shoulder as it fell into her face. Bother. She looked to be having a far better time walking than I was.






”Your brother is dashing, Lenny. Why don’t you accept that?” Marlene said throwing her arms around. She was making me dizzy.

“He’s ugly.” I told her. She snorted unattractively. Yes Marlene, Teddy would totally find you snorting attractive.

“You’re in denial,” She said.

“No, I’m in Hogwarts!” I proclaimed, glancing around. I was still in Hogwarts, right? Yup, same old snoring portraits. Same old boring stone walls. Same old ugly ghosts. Same old Hogwarts.

“Fine, if you don’t want me to shag your brother, come sleep in my dorm tonight. I’d rather not be grilled by the girls anyways. I’ll need the company,” Marlene told me. I felt a little tingly inside. Had I just made a friend? Did it feel good? No, it was probably the booze rolling around in my stomach.

“Let’s get my wand first,” I told her, crawling (literally) up the stairs.

I am very, very shocked we did not get caught. I say this sincerely. Not only did we crawl up the six flights of stairs, Marlene got her foot stuck in the trick stair. Twice. It took us ten minutes each time to find a way to pull her leg out. We giggled the whole way because my head kept smashing into the side railings. Those things are made of stone, damn it! They hurt. Needless to say, we made it alive to the portrait. Where I forgot the password. Again.

“How can you not know the password?” Marlene asked me. I shrugged. They changed it so much, I was shocked if I knew what he one was for last week.

“Flippidy Flop?” I tried. The Fat Lady sighed at me and shook her head.

“Let me in!” Marlene shouted. I tried to shush her, but she already began to pound on the portrait.

“Now young lady!” The Fat Lady screamed in between the pounding. “You stop that immediately! I’ll get the headmaster!”

“What’s going on out here?” A voice said. The Fat Lady swung aside as Sirius stepped out into the corridor. He had on a black turtleneck sweatshirt that hugged him in all the right places. He was wearing dark jeans and it looked like he actually brushed his hair. My jaw nearly hit the corridor floor. Yes, he was normally gorgeous, but he was extra gorgeous tonight. Did I mention I was shit-faced? Okay, good.

“Nothing,” Marlene said, trying her hardest to keep a straight face. One look from me and we both burst into fits of giggles. Sirius looked at us like we were going completely bonkers. It was just so funny. What was so funny, I’m not sure. But it sure made us laugh.

“Are you two drunk?” Sirius asked, crossing his arms and watching us with amusement. I straightened up, attempting to look very serious (not like him, the other serious). I made eye contact with Marlene who did the same as I was.

“Us drunk?”



“Maybe on a holiday.”

“Is today a holiday?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Let’s make it a holiday!”

“Marlene and Lenny day!”

“We should celebrate that every day!”

“That’s an amazing idea, Lenny!”

“Are you two done?” Sirius asked, chuckling as Marlene and I ranted to one another. I nodded. There wasn’t really much left to say. I was amazing.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in bed, Black?” Marlene asked, leaning against the wall for support.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in the Ravenclaw Tower?” He countered.

“I came to steal this fair maiden!” Marlene proclaimed, grabbing onto my hand and waving it around. I felt more than must my arm spinning out of its socket.

“Have at it, then,” Sirius said, cordially bowing. I nearly drooled right there.

“Go get your wand, Lenny,” Marlene slurred, nudging me inside. I managed to keep my balance as I pushed through the portrait hole.

Inside it was dark. No one was in the room and the fire was the only thing lighting the common room. The furniture was even rearranged so that the extra comfortable couch rest right in front of the fire with the coffee table set in front of it. On the coffee table was a bottle of red wine, two glasses, and a vase full of lilies that were charmed to be red and gold. It was like Sirius was waiting for a date.

Then it hit me. It was midnight. On the night I was supposed to show Sirius I was L.C. He went through all this trouble for me. He had brushed his hair for me. I wanted to cry and to leap at Sirius all at once. I tried to make sure to keep my feet glued to the ground when Sirius came around me, plopping down on the couch. He stared up at the girl’s staircase with longing. I frowned, knowing he was waiting for L.C to come down those stairs.

“Is this all for me?” I asked. I nearly slapped myself when Sirius looked at me and chuckled.

“No, it’s for L.C…if she ever shows up,” Sirius said, running a hand through his hair. I stared at him as he studied the fire.

“Just give her some time. I’m sure she’ll show up,” I said, running for the girl’s staircase. I managed to stumble up the stairs.

The lights were off in our dorm when I made it there. This made it extremely hard to find my wand or even my bed. I ended up waking Lily’s cat. I hated that damn thing. I may have accidentally kicked it my fair share of times. Somehow I found my wand on a bed stand. At least I hoped it was my wand. I think I’d get a mouthful if I accidentally grabbed Mary’s wand. She’d throw a damn fit.

I crawled out of the dorm as quietly as I could. I may have hit my knees on a few trunks, but that is just a casualty. My knees could survive. So could their trunks. I made it to the stairs when I saw three of them floating way too far off the ground. Bloody hell, how was I supposed to guess which one to step on? Which one was real? Well, time for a guess. I stuck my foot out, leaning forward, but all I felt was air. And I went tumbling down.

Surprisingly, when you fall while drunk, it doesn’t hurt as much. I landed at the bottom of the steps with a very unsophisticated “UMPH” noise. Sirius looked over the edge of the couch at me with a very amused expression on his face. A smile broke out when he saw me sit up straight and wheel around a little bit.

“You all right?” He asked. I nodded, pushing myself to my feet and gripping the wall for support. In all honesty, I wasn’t fine. I stared at Sirius, wondering how I was supposed to tell him who I was. I needed to. Was I prepared for his reaction? Was I prepared for him to turn me down? I felt a pang hit me square in the chest. Nerves.

“I need to go,” I said, running as fast as I could out of the common room. I almost didn’t see Sirius’s confused expression.

Marlene wasn’t outside of the common room when I got out there. In fact, she was no where in sight. Lucky for her, I knew where the Ravenclaw common room was. Thank you Teddy for being a Ravenclaw. I took off in the general direction of the Ravenclaw common room, tripping multiple times over my own feet.

Who was I kidding? I couldn’t tell Sirius who I was. He would laugh at me. I would be a joke. I was Lenny Crowley, I wasn’t someone like Marlene McKinnnon or Mary MacDonald. I wasn’t someone Sirius would want to see when he expected L.C to show up. He wouldn’t want to see me. It was best if I didn’t go back there or even meet him ever. I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t L.C. I was just Lenny.

“Look who it is!” I heard a voice slur. I grabbed onto the wall to steady me as I turned around to see Regulus, Avery, and Rabastan crawling out of the one-eyed witch. I could smell the alcohol from the few meters between us. I froze on spot, unable to move.

“How’s Marlene, Crowley?” Avery asked, laughing as they came towards me. Rabastan stood in front of me and grabbed onto my face. I tried to yank away, but he held on far too tight.

“I don’t see what Reg saw in her. I’d choose you any day,” Rabastan slurred. I attempted to push him away to no avail. I began to feel panic creeping its way up my back. I backed up, but was trapped by a wall.

“Fuck off, Lestrange,” I mumbled, but was answered by drunken laughs.

“You know, I don’t think I will. Let’s see what Bagman found so charming about you, yes?” Rabastan stated, pushing his body against mine as he pinned me to the wall. I felt every part of him against me and I didn’t like it one bit. I shoved, pushed, and even pinched, but he didn’t budge. He began to bite at my neck. I crashed my head into his, but he still didn’t budge.

“Knock it off!” I cried, but it only received more laughter. I felt tears spring to my eyes. It was past midnight, no one would be coming to my rescue. Rabastan grabbed at the bottom of my sweater, grunting into my ear as he pushed himself harder against me.

“Rabastan, maybe we should just go,” Regulus mumbled. Rabastan turned his head to tell him off and I took my opening. I kneed him as hard as I could. Rabastan doubled over in shock, letting go of me.

“Bitch!” Rabastan grunted. I stumbled away from him, taking off at a sprint down the hall.

“No, I don’t think so, Crowley!” I heard Avery shout. Before I knew what was going on, I felt my feet leave the ground and I went flying through the air. I crashed into the stone wall, falling to the ground in a contorted mess. I knew if I wasn’t drunk, this would hurt a lot more, but I still couldn’t move. I felt my head and the warm, thick blood covered my hand when I pulled it away. I moaned, looking up but my vision was blurred. I saw the figures of all three boys, but couldn’t make out who was who coming towards me.

I closed my eyes and insomnia taking over me. Not before I heard a few shouts and heard crashing all in the hall. I wanted to sleep. I wanted the pain to go away. I was in so much pain. I couldn’t even begin to try to open my eyes. I felt myself passing out. Sleep. Thank you.

“Lenny?” I heard. “Lenny? You’re going to be okay. I promise.”

And I trusted the voice. I would be okay.


Author's Note: So you can hate me now. I know you expected Lenny to show herself, but it's way too early! I've got way more up my sleeve yet! Anyways, I know it was a long wait, but did I make it worth it? Let me know what you think.

Chapter 19: The Hospital Wing
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chapter image by inexplicable@TDA!

My head hurt. Not only did it feel extremely heavy, but I felt blinded by the pressure I felt pulsing at the back of my brain. I didn’t have my eyes open, but I knew that I was blind. You can just feel it. Like when you know there’s something by your bed when you wake up in the morning, but haven’t opened your eyes yet. Never happen to you? Oh, I suppose it’s just Mary when she sleep walks.

I peek one eye open and immediately regret it. If I wasn’t blind before, I am now. Those bright white walls are not good when I’m just waking up. I’d rather see a stark naked Teddy when I wake up than white walls. Wait, scratch that. Anything is better than seeing a naked Teddy. I think I should gouge my eyes out for even thinking about that.

Last time I remembered, my curtains were definitely not white. They were maroon (or so I thought). What the hell did I do last night that I ended up in a white room? Well, I do remember being drunker than a skunk with Marlene. What rooms in Hogwarts (or around Hogwarts) were white? Where could I have ended up?

Oh bloody hell. I was in the hospital wing.

I could feel the cushion of the bed beneath me and the weight of a blanket covering me. I could even feel the cloth of a hospital gown hugging my body. My pillow was rock solid. I’ve always hated the hospital wing. It was uncomfortable and frankly, it smelled a bit. Except I couldn’t smell anything. I went to sniff, but I felt a pain rock through my body.

Best if I just don’t move.

“How’s she doing?” I heard Teddy’s voice ask. How was who doing? Was he asking about me?

“Same as before,” I heard another voice say, yawning.

“Poppy say when she’ll wake up?” Teddy asked again. There was a moment of silence between the two voices.

“She isn’t sure. She should’ve woken up days ago. Poppy said she needs to take her own time,” the second voice whispered. There was a painful silence, something I felt even while I was just laying here. Days?

“Sirius, you can’t keep blaming yourself for this,” Teddy mumbled. I felt a shift next to me, but I didn’t move.

“Can’t I? I let her walk out of that common room, knowing how drunk she was. I should’ve-“ he cut himself off with a huge sigh. “How’s Marlene?”

“She’s awake,” Teddy said simply, not elaborating much more. Something had happened to Marlene? More importantly, what the hell had happened to me?

“I’m going to kill those bastards,” Sirius hissed under his breath, but made it loud enough for me to hear.

That’s when it all came rushing back. Marlene and I finding Regulus talking to his Slytherin friends. Marlene breaking down in sobs. Drinking her sorrows away (and my own). Going back to my dorm to get my wand. Remembering I was supposed to meet Sirius, but chickening out. Not finding Marlene when I left the common room. Lestrange finding me. Lestrange trying to have his way with me. I almost cringed, but knew that the pain would engulf me if I did so. I stayed still.

“Want me to take over? You look exhausted. Go get some sleep,” Teddy said.

“No, I’m fine. I wouldn’t be able to sleep,” Sirius mumbled. I was suddenly aware of a pressure on my hand. Something was running circles on my hand. My mind answered it for me: someone is holding your hand. I felt a flutter in my stomach. It was Sirius’s hand.

“Mum has been owling me like crazy,” Teddy said, heaving another sigh. I could practically hear Mum owling asking if I had died. She’s not subtle.

“She worried?” Sirius asked.


“Hey Teddy?” I heard a girl’s voice farther away. “How’s she doing?”

“Same,” Teddy answered. I could feel Sirius tracing circles on my hand.

“Could you get me something to eat, Teddy?” the girl asked again.

“Yeah sure. Want anything, Sirius?”

“No, I’m okay.” Sirius mumbled. I heard footsteps falling away. Sirius sighed. I heard the scraping of a chair getting scooted closer to my bed.

“I’m so sorry Lenny,” He whispered. Why? “I shouldn’t have let you leave that common room.” It’s not your fault. “I should’ve killed those bastards when I had that chance.” Now that’s just ridiculous. “I shouldn’t have let you get hurt.” But you didn’t.

I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t his fault. It was my fault. If I wouldn’t have been stupid and went out while drunk then none of this would’ve happened. If I have had turned away when I saw those dumb Slytherins maybe I wouldn’t be where I was. If I had grown a pair and told Sirius who I was, none of this would have happened.

“It’s all my fault,” I heard. There was suddenly silence. It was then that I realized that voice was my own voice. I had said it. I slowly, very tentatively opened my eyes. I had to blink a few times to get adjusted to the brightness of the hospital wing. Sirius was staring at me in shock, frozen in the chair next to my bed. He looked extremely pale and the bags under his eyes were the size of quaffles. I was sure he hadn’t slept in days.

“Lenny?” He asked.

“Well, I’m not the minister, am I?” I asked him sarcastically. Suddenly, a huge smile broke out on his face. Before I knew what was going on, he wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me far too tight. I didn’t protest though. He smelt very musky, filling my nose with his scent.

“How are you feeling? Does your head hurt?” Sirius asked, pulling back from me. The smile was still glued to his face. His eyes were shining as he studied every part of my face. I suddenly felt self conscious. I didn’t know how I looked.

“How long have I been here?” I asked. Sirius frowned, reaching down to grab my hand. He gave it a tight squeeze.

“A little over a week,” he mumbled. I nearly buckled in shock if I hadn’t been lying down.

“Oh thank Merlin you’re okay, Lenny!” I heard Marlene say across the room. I sat up, wincing as a pain shot up my spine. I saw Marlene sitting in almost the same position as me, gown and all. She wasn’t wearing make up and her hair was dull and lifeless. She smiled at me, but I saw a boring drawl in her eyes.

“Did you die?” I asked her. I felt a stiff chuckle next to me. Marlene laughed, but even her laugh seemed dull and lifeless.

“Pretty damn close, Crowley,” She said, staring down at the blanket with interest. I looked at Sirius, who wasn’t making eye contact with me.

“What’s that mean?” I asked. She shifted nervously on her cot.

“They attacked her too,” Sirius muttered. My eyes flashed over Marlene’s down turned face. I wouldn’t ask. At least not right now.

“What happened to them?” I turned to Sirius, asking him with hopeful eyes. Surely Teddy had kicked their arses. Surely someone had kicked their arses. Maybe they had been in the hospital wing too.

“Dumbledore suspended them from Quidditch for the rest of the year,” Sirius said, again not looking at me. That was it? Dumbledore suspended them for nearly killing me and for doing Merlin only knows what to Marlene? Something was seriously wrong with this picture.

“Speak and he shall appear,” I heard the soft, calm drawl of Dumbledore’s voice. Immediately I sat up straighter. It was a habit whenever authority was around. I cringed at the pain that shot up my spine, but tried my best to hide it.

“Hello Headmaster,” I mumbled my greeting. He smiled warmly at me, eyeing the room over his spectacles.

“How are you ladies feeling today?” He asked, turning to Marlene and me respectively.

“Better,” Marlene said, smiling at him. It was a genuine smile. Something you do not see on Marlene McKinnon. Ever.

“And you, Ms. Crowley?” He asked, turning his gaze on me. I felt like he already knew how I felt, but I let the smile grace my face anyways.

“I’m getting there,” I responded. His gaze lingered on me for an extra second before he nodded, turning away.

“I was informed that you may leave tonight, Ms. McKinnon. As you’ve only just woken up, I’m afraid you must stay for a few more days, Lenora,” I cringed as he used my full name, but nodded all the same. Sirius snorted from next to me at the use of my full name.

“Lenora,” he repeated. I glared at him. Dumbledore was probably the only person who could get away with using my full name.

“I’m sure it is past visiting hours, Mr. Black. Don’t stay for too much longer,” Dumbledore said, shooting me one last glance before dancing away from the room. I stared at the door for an extra second before glancing back at Sirius. His face was cast towards our joined hands. I suddenly felt extremely hot as I let go of his hand, pulling my own onto my stomach.

“He’s right, I should get going now that you’re awake. I’m sure you’ll need your rest,” Sirius mumbled, getting up from the chair placed next to my bed. He took a few steps, turned and stared at me for an extra few moments. He looked like he was going to say something, but thought better of it.

“Thanks Sirius,” I said. He turned around, raising his eyebrows at me, “For sitting with me…you know.”

He smiled and gave me a head nod before leaving the hospital wing. Yes, I did stare at his butt and yes, it is nice. I’m a girl in a lot of pain right now, you cannot blame me. I never said I was an angel. Sirius Black is nice to look at. I turned my attention back to Marlene who was smirking at me knowingly. I put on my best innocent face. She couldn’t have seen me checking him out, right?

“What?” I said innocently. I had been caught with my hand in the metaphorical cookie jar and I knew it.

“You know he was the one who saved you. If it wasn’t for him that arse would have done more than just knocked you out for a week,” Marlene said, focusing on pushing herself out of the bed. I felt a blush creeping up my neck.

“I thanked him,” I told her.

“You thanked him for sitting with you, Lenny. He’s not just been sitting with you, he’s been here day in and out. He hasn’t left your bedside for more than a few minutes,” Marlene criticized me as she placed socks on her feet. She pulled the curtain around her. I assumed she was changing or really mad at me.

“I didn’t ask him to stay by my bedside,” I said after a moment of silence. Why would Sirius stay at my bedside anyways? Didn’t he have class and Quidditch to attend?

“No, you didn’t. He did it because he wanted to,” Marlene said. I let her words sink in. Sirius wanted to sit by my bedside. He wanted to make sure I was alright.

“I don’t think that’s it,” I mumbled. It just didn’t make sense to me. Marlene sighed, pulling back the curtain to reveal herself fully dressed.

“Why is that so hard to believe, Lenny? He likes you. He held your hand the whole time. He freaking talked to you like he was a nutter! What more do you need?” Marlene was on my bed at this point, giving me a very pointed look. I needed to divert the attention off of me. I couldn’t be thinking about this. It wasn’t realistic. Sirius and I weren’t realistic. Not unless we were cursing each other.

“What happened to you, anyways?” I asked her. Her face immediately fell as I asked her this. She pushed herself off my bed, putting her back towards me.

“I would rather not talk about it, Lenny,” She whispered. I would get it out of her eventually…maybe. That girl was damn stubborn.

I’m not being dramatic, I swear. I can honestly say that I would rather jump off the Astronomy Tower naked then stand another minute in this bloody hospital wing. Waking up to the bright white walls and sheets is one thing, but listening to the whiners that came in here was another. A first year came in complaining of diarrhea. When Pomphrey told him to take a cup and get some of the diarrhea in it, he ran straight back to class. Pomphrey even had to give the ‘womanly’ talk with a third year.

I felt bad for the lady, I really did. Except she wouldn’t let me leave.

Teddy visited me every day for supper. We ate together. He would tell me about the classes we had together. I nearly fell asleep on him every time. He also told me that Mom invited us to stay with her and her friend this winter break (which was in two weeks). Teddy wasn’t going unless I went. I wasn’t all too sure if I wanted to go or not.

Sirius had visited every day in between classes. He brought me some chocolate and some magazines to keep myself busy. We never talked about what happened. We didn’t even let it come up on conversation. He’d tell me how James was threatening to replace me if I didn’t come back pretty soon. He told me that Teddy punched Regulus straight in the face. That explained why Teddy was missing last night for dinner. He was company.

Lily and Alice also popped in a few times. They brought me all my homework. I told them I would do it, but let’s face it, I wouldn’t touch it. They gossiped about all that was Hogwarts. I swear they even gossiped about fifth years. I wanted to rip my ears out by the time they left. It did leave me to think about whether or not Marlene and Teddy were a couple. Rumors, I’m telling you.

Even Mary had come and visited me. She was only there on the assumption that she had to get my permission to ask my brother to the Masquerade Ball (which apparently was announced when I was passed out). She only asked because “now we were friends”. I told her to go for it, knowing he would say no to her. She already got her shot and blew it. She could find out the hard way, though. I wasn’t one to crush her dreams. That would be Teddy’s job.

This time of day was the worst. Everyone was in class so I had absolutely no company. I wanted to bang my head in. The hospital wing is absolutely lifeless. I had whined to Madam Pomphrey for a good hour already. She still refused to let me leave. I had one more set of potions to take in two hours before I was allowed to go. She had to “make sure I’d be fine”. I wouldn’t be fine if I stayed another minute in this hospital wing.

“Madam Pomphrey, I’m going to kill myself if I stay in here much longer!” I shouted towards her office.

“I can keep you here longer for saying that, Crowley. Suicidal amplications!” she shouted back. I groaned, rolling over onto my side.

“At least I could get away from you if I killed myself!” I yelled. I wanted to punch my pillow all too hard, but resisted the urge. I heard a familiar tap at a window. I sat up to see a black owl perched on the window sill. I grinned to myself, running towards the window and nearly tearing the letter off the bird’s leg.


I’m sorry. That’s all I can say. I’m sorry if you showed up and I wasn’t there. I’m sorry if I disappointed you. I’d hope you would understand, but you don’t seem like the forgiving type. I’m sure you heard of Lenny’s accident. I take complete blame for it. I ran into Lestrange and his friends talking about going to get pissed drunk because of Marlene and Lenny. I saw Lenny leave the common room. I followed her because I had a really bad feeling. I tried to stay a good distance behind her, but I ended up losing her. Lestrange found her before I did. I couldn’t breathe when I saw her. She was a mangled mess. I didn’t know what to do. I managed to scare Lestrange away, but that didn’t make it better. I don’t want to bore you with the details, but all I can tell you is I’m sorry, L.C.


I felt like all of the air had been punched out of me, except in a good way. Sirius had been the one to find me. He had been the one to tell me everything would be alright. He had been the one to save me from Rabastan. I felt my stomach flip as I touched the side of my forehead. Pomphrey said the scar would be there forever. It was better than being dead, I suppose.

The main point was I was grateful. I was more than grateful, I was in debt to him. I re-read the letter, but the words didn’t change. I clutched the letter close to my chest and grinned to myself. I felt like a giggling teenager, but it didn’t matter. I glanced around, wondering if anyone had seen me grinning like a mad man. I hurriedly grabbed a piece of parchment and quill from my bag and set to writing him back.


I understand. No need to apologize to me. You’re a great friend to sit with her in the hospital wing. I’m sure she was very appreciative that you found her in time. I’m normally horrible at saying this kind of thing (I normally shove my foot in my mouth), but what you did was truly amazing. You saved her, Sirius. Lenny wouldn’t put any blame on you whatsoever. She’s probably in Lennyland, anyways! Crazy girl, right?

Let me repeat myself: I don’t blame you. I didn’t show up either, if I’m being honest. I was caught up in nargles. They were everywhere. I ran to hide from them! They can be pretty vicious.

Apology accepted,


“Crowley, you’re not dead!” James proclaimed as I entered the Great Hall. People turned towards me and I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I made my way towards Lily and Alice, taking a seat next to them.

“I’d hope not,” I responded, taking a piece of chicken and taking a rather large bite out of it. Sirius grinned at me, flipping his hair out of his face. My stomach fluttered.

“Feeling better?” He asked. I nodded, unable to find my voice.

“Good! I can’t have my keeper dead. I don’t think I’d be able to find a replacement. I’d have to get Evans to replace you,” James smirked at Lily. She glared at him immediately.

“I’ll murder you,” She hissed viciously. I smiled to myself. Lily and James fights are always funny.

“If murder means shag, then be my guest!” Everyone around groaned.

“I would never shag you!” Lily growled. I saw her hands clench around her fork. Her knuckles got white.

“That’s not what the stars said, Evans. We’re meant to be,” James smirked at Lily. I furrowed my eyebrows as Lily’s face got as red as her hair.

“That was a mistake!” Lily shrieked. Most people were staring at the pair now.

“No, we’re not a mistake. Snivellus, yes. Us, no,” James said, biting into his mash potatoes. If it was possible, Lily’s face got redder.

“I cannot believe you! We are as destined as Sirius and Lenny are!” Lily shrieked. She pushed herself away from the table and I felt my face grow red again. Remus nearly choked on his dumplings. Alice stared down at her plate with much interest.

“Hey, I resent that! We’d make a fantastic couple! Right Lenny?” Sirius said, looking right at me. I felt way too many eyes on me. My face was burning at this point. What the bloody hell am I supposed to say to that?

“Don’t make me answer that,” I mumbled into my pumpkin juice. James laughed heartedly at me and shook his head.

“You’re about the only girl who wouldn’t answer that with a yes, Crowley,” James said, glancing at Sirius’s red face.

“Hey, what’s that?” Remus asked, pointing at my forehead. I went to touch it, but he shook his head, signaling that I wasn’t touching it.

“Yeah, what is that Lenny?” Alice asked, peering at my forehead with much interest. I picked up a spoon, trying to see my reflection but just seeing my round face.

“What?” I asked them. Sirius leaned over the table, his eyes narrowed on the spot. He brushed my hair away from my forehead. I realized how close his face was to me. My breath hitched in my throat. I watched as his grey eyes studied my forehead. I noticed everything about his face. His pointed nose, his perfect cheekbones, the small freckles that brushed his cheeks, and his long eyelashes. His finger ran from my hairline to my eyebrow.

“It’s just a scar,” He claimed. Just as quickly as he was there, he was gone. I paused, still staring at his face. Remus coughed and I felt something kick me under the table. I jumped out of my daze and saw Remus raising his eyebrows at me.

“Let’s go check on Lily, shall we?” Alice said, getting up from her seat. I slowly followed.

“What did James mean about the stars?” I asked Alice.

“The Astronomy assignment at the beginning of the year. They both got each other’s initials.” Alice explained. I paused. Lily and James? Maybe that was like Sirius and I. Maybe we really just weren’t meant to be. Why was I even thinking about being destined with Sirius, anyways? I must still be sick.

Hospital wing, here I come.


Author's Note: So? What do you think? I wanted to say thank you to all of you who are reading this. I really really appreciate it. I haven't been updating as much because of school, but my semester is over now, so I should be updating a lot! I know it's been a while, but...well, I'm done with excuses. Like the little James/Lily I put in there? Hope so, you'll be seeing more of that to come! Review and rate, loves?

Chapter 20: Changing
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chapter image by inexplicable@TDA!

If you would have told me I would be sitting where I was today, I would call you a liar. If you would tell me that I’d have friends, I would laugh at you. If you were to tell me that I was slowly falling for Sirius Black, I’d call you a nutter. If you told me I wouldn’t be as close to my brother as I used to be, I’d shake my head. Yet all of this was happening right in front of me. All of this had happened in three measly months of a school year.

I watched as Teddy nibbled on the end of his quill, his eyebrows nearly touching in concentration. He had studied so hard for his OWLs in our fifth year that the wrinkle that had appeared between his eyes didn’t go away all summer. He had looked like Old Man Ester from next door. Teddy quickly dipped his quill in an ink bottle as the thought came to him, scribbling down on the parchment. I felt like he was a stranger. I felt like I barely knew him anymore. The twinge in my heart was something that I didn’t expect to feel.

“Lenny, what’re you writing your Defense’s paper on?” Teddy asked, glancing up at me. I looked down at my own parchment to find it blank. We’d been sitting here for a half hour and I had nothing. Not to mention the paper was due in two days.

“Uhm…how long does it have to be again?” I asked him. Maybe if I just wrote a little bigger than normal, I could pull it off.

“Two feet. Surely you have something done,” Teddy responded, grabbing my roll of parchment. He looked at the blank roll and frowned at me. “You plan on being an eighth year or something?”

“That’s not such a bad idea,” I mumbled, taking my parchment back. I dunked my own quill in my ink and let it drip onto the parchment. Nothing was coming to mind.

“Come on, you can’t think of one single dark magic item or creature to write about?” Teddy asked, placing his quill down for the first time since we got here.

“Normally you tell me what to write about,” I explained. It was true. Teddy normally did that kind of work. He even wrote openings for me and sometimes I could convince him to write the entire paper.

“This is your seventh year, Lenora. I think you should be able to handle it by now,” Teddy mumbled. I felt the sting of his words. Not only had he called me Lenora, but he had hit home.

“I’ll figure it out on my own, then,” I grumbled, beginning to pack up my scattered books and parchment, throwing it all into my bag. Well, now I understand how my bag got so messy.

“Oh come on, Lenny. Just stay and write your essay,” Teddy wasn’t even looking up from his parchment. The sting hit me right in the chest again. He wasn’t even looking at me as he talked.

“I’ll pass. Why not just invite McKinnon do study with you? Sure she’d love it,” I snapped. He finally looked up at me with a dramatic eye roll.

“What has gotten into you now?” He asked, though I could see he wasn’t interested at all.

“I don’t even know my twin brother anymore,” I told him. I swung my bag over my shoulder more, turning away as I started to make my way out. If there was one thing that I knew about Teddy, it was that he would want the last word.

“Look who’s talking! I’m not the one who changed, Lenny!” Teddy called. The librarian shushed him, but he was on his feet, making his way over towards me. I stopped, turning towards him, my arms crossed.

“I haven’t changed,” I lied. Even my lies sounded better than before.

“Think about the beginning of this year, Lenny. I was the only person you had. Now you have Lily, Alice, Mary, Marlene, the Marauders, and you definitely have Black! You don’t need me anymore.” I could see the pain in his eyes, but his voice was full of fury. I tried to bite my tongue, tried to hold back the pricks of water that were fighting to come out.

“Now you know how I felt for the past six years,” I whispered, rushing out of the library as I felt the tears threatening to fall. I felt blinded. I wasn’t just blinded by the tears in front of me, but by the fact that I didn’t even know my twin brother anymore. He didn’t know me either.

I wiped a tear away as it slid down my cheek. Bollucks, I was turning into a wimp. I realized I cried more than I’ve ever cried in the past few months. Grams would be very disappointed in her weakling granddaughter. She yelled at Teddy for crying when he broke his arm. She was probably staring through the clouds in heaven and frowning at me, shaking her head the way Grams did. I could hear her yelling “Suck it up, you banshee!”.

“Lenny?” I heard someone ask. I quickly swiped at my eyes only for more tears to fall into their place.

“What?” I snapped, leaning against the wall in a huff. I didn’t bother to look up. I felt pitiful.

“Are you alright?” They asked. I looked up and through the tears I could see Sirius looking at me. His face was full of concern. I slid to the floor. Great. Now Sirius bleeding Black was going to see me cry.

“I’m bloody fantastic,” I mumbled. I made a quick swipe at my eyes, but I knew the damage was done. Sirius crouched in front of me. I curled my knees in on myself and concentrated on them.

“You sure look bloody fantastic,” Sirius said sarcastically. He chuckled lightly to himself, but I didn’t feel any type of humor bubbling in me. I frowned. He sighed, sitting down on the floor directly in front of my knees.

“You can talk to me, you know,” He insisted. I concentrated on my knees. This wasn’t the Sirius Black I knew. The Sirius Black I knew didn’t care about anything or anyone other than himself

“What is it you want from me exactly?” I asked. Even when I wasn’t looking at him I could feel his confusion radiating off of him.

“I don’t want anything, Lenny,” Sirius said softly. That was the thing. Sirius never used to talk soft. He used to be boisterous and loud and obnoxious. He used to be the guy I despised seeing whenever I was hung over because he was so loud.

“You’re a Marauder. More importantly you’re Sirius Black. You’ve always had a hidden agenda. Especially when it came to me,” I mumbled. I glanced up to see Sirius smiling at me. No, he wasn’t smirking, he was bloody smiling. See why everything is so messed up lately? It used to be just Teddy and I against he world. Now Teddy wasn’t even here.

“Things change, Lenny,” Sirius said, not even glancing up as a few girls walked by. I nearly was baffled by that simple movement, but didn’t bother saying it out loud.

“But I’m not supposed to. My life is supposed to stay the same,” I whined, more to myself than to him. I heard him chuckle again at me, but when I looked up, his face was like a stone.

“You want what we used to have? Fine,” He said, shrugging as he got to his feet. “Get your fat arse off the ground and stop feeling sorry for yourself, Crowley. You’re wasting my breathing room with your sobbing. Better yet, go into Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. Myrtle needs a loopy stall mate anyways.”

“Don’t you have somewhere better to be? Like up Pothead’s arse?” I suggested. Sirius grinned at me, unable to contain it much longer. His grin was contagious, because I was smiling moments later. I wasn’t sure why, but I found myself feeling slightly better all of a sudden.

“Ah-ha! Love that smile,” He said, giving me his hand. I took it as he helped me to my feet. I smacked my cheeks a few times to bring color to them so it didn’t look like I had been tearing up at all.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, smiling lightly. It was strange and surreal that I felt this calm suddenly after feeling so overwhelmed all day.

“Let’s get down to lunch. Evans said your brother had you in the library all through your free period,” Sirius said. In response, my stomach growled. We both laughed as he took my bag from me, slinging it over his shoulder. I didn’t protest. In fact, I barely noticed it when he put his hand on the small of my back as we made our way to the Great Hall.


“So Crowley,” someone drawled. I glanced up to see Marlene leaning on my desk. She was smirking at me, giving me that look that meant something was up. I raised my eyebrow, setting my quill down.

“McKinnon?” I questioned. Her smirk grew as I acknowledged her. Something was up her sleeve and I didn’t particularly like it.

“The Masquerade Ball is a week away,” she said nonchalantly. I didn’t like the way this was headed.

“Uh-huh,” I said, picking my quill back up so that I could have something to play with.

“Have a date?” She asked me a little too loud. I blinked a few times before glancing around to see a few people who had just made it to Charms glancing at us suspiciously.

“No,” I mumbled, looking down at my empty desk.

“Why not ask-?” she started, but was caught off by a swift cough coming from Mary. Marlene shot her a cold glare, but took it as her cue to leave. She smiled at me, winking. I knew she wasn’t done with this conversation. Mary took the seat next to me, pulling out her Charms book.

“She’s right though. You should ask him,” Mary said, not glancing up once from taking things from her bag.

“Why would I?” I asked, feeling my heart beat pick up. I pictured slow dancing with Sirius, fairies floating above our heads and smoke rolling over a marble floor. I shook my head. Let’s be realistic, Lenny.

“Because you don’t have a date and rumor is he doesn’t either. He’s turned down half the school already. You better get a move on before he’s gone,” Mary finally looked up at me, smirking upon seeing my face. Was I that red? Bollucks.

“Well, who are you going with then?” I asked, trying to get the attention away from me.

“Lupin asked me. Figured why not,” She said with a shrug. Double bollucks.

“Lily and Alice?” I asked hopefully.

“Longbottom asked Alice and Evans finally said yes to Potter,” Mary said, leaning back in her chair. Suddenly, I felt panic crawling up my back. Normally I wouldn’t go or wouldn’t consider even bothering finding a date, but things were different. I couldn’t ask Teddy to go with me because he probably would find a date or already had. I couldn’t just sit lonely in our room because someone would bring their date in there to shag. I was screwed. Maybe I could just take a house elf. Yes, they’d make a lovely date.

“Did I just hear right?” Potter said, coming up behind me. I nearly jumped straight out of my skin, but managed to hang onto her skin.

“Hear what?” I hissed. James chuckled, taking his normal spot in front of me, except he turned around this time. Bother, he wasn’t going to leave me alone.

“You don’t have a date? Can’t say I’m not surprised, Crowley,” James said, sending me an innocent smile.

“Me either,” I mumbled, placing my chin in my palm.

“Wasn’t one of Lily’s conditions to going to the ball with you was you had to be nice?” Mary questioned. James blushed, turning away from both of us and facing the front of the room.

“Today we’ll be learning how to cast a bubble-head charm!” Flitwick said enthusiastically. I wanted to groan along with the rest of the class. Another charm meant more homework. More homework meant more to add to the pile that was forming at the bottom of my bed. The bigger the homework pile, the less comfy I was at night and the less likely I was to get a good night sleep. See the logic?

“Now, the charm is-“ Professor Flitwick began, but was interrupted by Sirius slamming the door open and walking briskly in as though nothing had happened at all. He took his usual seat next to James and in front of me, only looking up at Flitwick once he had completely unpacked his bag.

“Uhm…hi Professor,” Sirius said, smiling wide at him. Flitwick didn’t look impressed at all.

“Mind explaining to the class why you feel the need to arrive so late to class, Mr. Black?” He asked as everyone was staring at Sirius. He wasn’t nervous at all. He never was. He didn’t skip a beat.

“Had something I needed to take care of,” Sirius said, opening his book to a random page. Professor Flitwick wasn’t going to give up that easily.

“That something was more important than class?” He asked.

“Yes.” Sirius said simply. Everyone in the class seemed to inhale at his words. A few people chuckled under their breath.

“Detention, Mr. Black!” Flitwick called, his face red with anger. He turned back towards the board, forgetting what he was doing all together.

“You’re just in time, mate!” James said to Sirius, clapping him on the back.

“For?” Sirius asked. I looked down at my paper, copying down what Flitwick was writing on the board.

“Crowley is dateless for the Masquerade Ball!” James whispered, but both Mary and I heard him. Mary chucked a piece of parchment at the back of his head. James barely flinched. There must seriously be something wrong with that bloke.

“That true, Lenny?” Sirius asked, turning around and looking at me with furrowed eyebrows. I felt my face flush. Of course I didn’t have a date. Did I ever? Did that really come as a shock to people?


“Unless you want to change that, Black. Heard you don’t have a date either,” Mary said. I felt a bubble in my stomach rising to my throat. It was panic and it was taking over me. Sirius glanced at me, smirking.

“Anyone know the answer?” Flitwick answered. We all immediately turned our attention to him. My hand shot up in the air. “Yes, Ms. Crowley?”

“Uhm…” I mumbled. I hadn’t actually heard the answer. Oh well, time for Lenny-ness. “Dragon dung can clean an oven.”

A few people looked at me like I was loopy. It was actually useful! At least I think it was dragon dung that I saw Mum cleaning our oven with over the summer. I couldn’t be sure. She was probably lying when she said it was dragon dung. Oh well, I suppose the weird looks I was getting meant I was getting my reputation as Loony Lenny back. Merlin save me now.

“Even if that is true, it was not my question, Lenny,” Flitwick said. “Ten points from Gryffindor.”

“Don’t worry, Lenny,” Sirius whispered, turning towards me. “I’ll save a dance for you.”

I think my stomach just flipped a little.


I dragged my bag very un-ladylike behind me up the girl’s staircase. Oh how I hated school work. Why couldn’t I have a nerd who had a crush on me? Or why couldn’t I be intimidating like Slytherins? Or why couldn’t I be fantastic at copying charms? Even mind erasing charms would suffice. Though I’m sure someone would catch on if my teachers kept forgetting things. Nevertheless I wish I had some sort of extraordinary talent. Yet I don’t. Sigh.

I pulled open the door and heard the girls’s giggles immediately stop once I entered the room. Lily, Alice, and Mary were all huddled around my bed, having been giggling at something upon it. Probably a pair of my birthday knickers I got last year from Mum. She thought it would be funny to get me bright yellow knickers with purple and pink unicorns on them. Oddly, they were extremely comfortable. So sure, I have worn them a few times. Sue me for picking comfort over how good my knickers look. Who is going to see them anyways? Who am I going to be shagging?

Except when I got a closer look at what they were staring at, I gasped. It was not my knickers, but was something entirely different. There was an elegant crystal vase resting on my bed. It shone in the candle light. Carving its way up from the bottom were indents that accented the vases beauty. The vase wasn’t even the most beautiful part. Flashing within the vase was a bouquet of beautiful roses. Not only were they roses, they were flashing different colors. Red, violet, green, blue, black, white, yellow, pink, orange, and so on. It didn’t stop. I don’t think I even recognized some of the colors it was changing.

Then resting right below the vase was a letter. A letter with the initials “L.C.” written on them. I glanced at the girls who were awaiting my reaction. I leapt for the letter and tore it open without another thought.


Lenny isn’t exactly crazy, she’s just…creative. I used to think she was completely mental, to be honest. She’s actually not, though. She’s just easy to fire up and can be very entertaining when she’s flustered. When she gets mad, she throws things at me. That tends to happen a lot. She says the weirdest things and you’re always wondering what’s going on in her head. She’s just…Lenny.

What would you say to going to the Masquerade Ball with me? You don’t have to say yes, but I want to meet you. I lost out on that. Wear the most elaborate mask, it won’t matter. I would just love you as my date. I would have the most beautiful date in all of Scotland (that’s saying something since I haven’t even seen you). I obviously couldn’t do this in person, but I am trying to be romantic. Bear with me. I’m no good at being sappy and all that nonsense. I sent you the roses to show you that I could be romantic for you. I thought you weren’t a red rose type of person. You’re a million colors, like these. Modestly beautiful, but so many layers. So what do you say?

Sincerely yours,

“You have to go!”

“If you don’t accept, I will!”

“That was so charming and romantic and-“

“You have to shag him now.”

“She doesn’t have to shag him! Just go to the ball with him!”

”I don’t think I have to do any of that,” I mumbled, plopping down on my bed. The girls all turned to me with wide eyes.

What?!” Mary questioned. I think she was questioning my sanity as well as my comment.

“I can’t go with him.” I answered her. Alice blinked a few times, picking up the roses and admiring them longingly.

“Why not?” Alice asked. I smiled at her, shaking my head.

“I’m just…I’m….” I couldn’t find the right words. Sirius didn’t want to see me. I wasn’t the girl he wanted.

“Lenny, you two are destined to be together! Don’t let anything get in the way of that. Go on this date. It can be your own Cinderella story,” Lily said, sitting down on my bed next to me. I frowned at her.

“What’s Cinderella?” I questioned. She waved her hand dismissively at me.

“What I mean to say is: you are going on this date. We won’t allow you not to. Give us one good reason why you don’t want to go,” Lily insisted. I racked my brain for anything I could think of.

“I don’t have anything to wear,” I tried.

“We will go shopping this weekend. I need something too,” Mary said, smirking as she crossed her arms.

“I need all the time I can get to get caught up on my homework. McGonagall said I have until the day I leave for Christmas Break to get all my late assignments turned in for all of my classes,” I said. Both Alice and Mary glanced at Lily.

“I’ll do them,” She said, reaching over towards the large pile of homework on my bed. I went to protest, but she glared at me. Lily’s glares can get scary.

“He’ll recognize me…I want him to find out who I am after he meets L.C….you know?” I tried one last time. All three seemed stumped.

“I have something.” Alice whispered. She crossed the room and threw open her trunk, starting to dig for the bottom. “You remember my costume back in fifth year for Halloween?”

“That’s brilliant!” Lily chanted, grinning like a mad woman at Alice. Alice came out of her trunk holding a plain black mask. She held it up in front of me grinning.

“It’s magically enchanted. It hides your identity. Sirius will still see you for you and how beautiful you are, he just won’t be able to put a finger on who you are,” Alice told me. “I’ll decorate it for you.”

“Brilliant,” I murmered. The three girls immediately began to cheer when they realized I was out of excuses. I shuffled my feet uncomfortably. How hard could it be, right? Just one night. One night until midnight. If I was having a bad time, I’d leave at midnight. I don’t need you, Teddy. I’m fine on my own.

Screw Cinderella. This is going to be my night.


Author's Note: So was it worth the wait? I say this all the time, don't I. You guys don't deserve how horrible I've been! I'm so sorry :(. But Lenny is going to the Masquerade Ball with Sirius! Aren't you excited?! Teddy and Lenny are fighting, that's no good. Lily and James are going to the Masquerade Ball together too ;). Little things are falling into place slowly, but surely. So, tell me your predictions. Tell me what you think. Is the Masquerade Ball going to go well? Are things going to blow up in their faces? We're almost there, ladies and gents! Almost to the place where everyone has been waiting for!

On another note, I got engaged! That's why I've been away for quite some time. I got taken away to Italy on a romantic getaway and then proposed to. I'm extremely happy. Now only two more years left of Law school! Then I'll be a lawyer and watch out ;). I'll be defending one of you some day!


Chapter 21: Dresses and Being Lenny
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chapter image by inexplicable@TDA!


“Just because this is a social get together does not mean you are allowed to misbehave,” McGonagall called to the Gryffindor common room. Every Gryffindor was scattered within, listening to the thin, strict head of house. No doubt every other house was getting this same speech.

“I expect the house of Gryffindor to be chivalrous and modest. That does not mean getting intoxicated or doing promiscuous things.” McGonagall glared around at each student. Even at the first years.

“Professor, when you say promiscuous, what do you mean?” Potter asked innocently. Too innocently.

“Potter, I think you understand what I am implying,” McGonagall said, crossing her arms. James shared a look with Sirius as they both looked back at Professor McGonagall with identical confused expressions.

“Promiscuous covers such a wide variety of things. You’re going to have to elaborate, Minerva,” Sirius said. A few people snickered at him. Mary elbowed my side, grinning like an idiot. I looked back at Professor McGonagall as her face was getting redder with each passing moment.

“The two of you can consider that wide variety as your spectrum. You do one thing any of the staff considers as a misrepresentation of Hogwarts, you will be kicked out of the ball. Understood?” A few people nodded at McGonagall, others grunted their responses. I shifted on the edge of the armchair was I was sitting on.

“Professor?” Lily asked, raising her hand. James sat up straighter, staring straight at her. It seemed the whole room turned to hear her question.

“Yes, Ms. Evans?” McGonagall said, just as interested in Lily’s question as everyone else.

“What’s the curfew?” She asked. A few people snickered at her innocent, obviously Evans, question. James looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“And you call yourself my date?” James asked. Lily threw the nearest couch pillow straight at his head.

“Oh yes, I nearly forgot!” McGonagall said, folding her hands in front of her. “The dance is over at midnight. We expect everyone back into their common rooms by one at the latest. If you are not back, you face the punishment permitted by whoever finds you.”

“Want to find me, Evans? I’ll let you punish me,” James asked Lily, who threw yet another pillow straight for James’s head. How she comes up with so many pillows is beyond me.

“That’s enough, the both of you!” McGonagall shouted. Both ceased their actions. I chuckled under my breath. Lily and James fighting were always entertaining. To think they were going to the ball together was just hysterical. Something as going to blow up in their faces and when it happened, I’m sure everyone would get a good laugh out of it.

“We are holding this ball because it has come to our attention that house rivalries have become more of an issue than ever before,” McGonagall continued once the common room quieted down. “Not only will you be interacting with students from other houses, but every student will be wearing a mask. It is your choice if you wish your mask to be magical or not. Now I assume a lot of you already have dates, but I promote intermingling with other houses. That does include the Slytherins.”

“So you want me to dance with my brother?” Sirius questioned.

“No, that’s not what I meant, Mr. Black,” McGonagall scolded. Sirius blinked a few times, shooting her a grin.

“So you want me to dance with my cousin?” Sirius asked. McGonagall’s face turned slightly red as the common room bursted with laughter.

“I do not expect you to dance with any member of your family, Black,” McGonagall told him, talking over the laughter.

“I don’t want to dance with his family either!” James chipped in. Suddenly the whole common room was yelling things about how they did not want to dance with Sirius’s cousins. Lily rolled her eyes from my side, mumbling something under her breath about immature seventh years.

“That’s enough!” McGonagall shouted. She sighed once everyone had quieted down, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Why do I even bother with you lot?”

“Because you love us, Minerva!” Sirius said, getting up and wrapping his arm around McGonagall’s shoulders. McGonagall may be a tall woman, but Sirius was still a bit taller than him.

“Get off, Black!” McGonagall hissed, peeling Sirius’s arm off of her shoulder.

“Oh right. No affection in front of the students. Forgot about our little rule,” Sirius whispered, but was loud enough for the whole room to hear. People began to snicker to one another at his comment. I found myself holding in my laughter as McGonagall’s face turned red yet again .

“Detention, Mr. Black! Keep this up and you won’t be allowed to go to the ball!” And with one final huff, McGonagall stomped from the room.

“Wouldn’t want to get kicked out of the ball, Black! Heard you have a hot date,” Mary called, nudging my side. I felt my face flush, but kept quiet.

“Yeah right. I bet she won’t even show up,” James countered, elbowing Sirius in the side too. In retaliation, Sirius shoved James off of the back of the couch. No one seemed to mind it all too much as James lay on the floor, shouting wandless curses towards Sirius.

“She’ll show up. I know she will,” Sirius mumbled, but it seemed like he was trying to reassure himself more than James.

“Trust us, she’ll show up. Right girls?” Lily said, turning towards Alice, Mary, and I. Except I knew her eyes were looking directly at me.

“Of course she will!” Alice chipped.

“Who wouldn’t?” Mary questioned.

I paused. I opened my mouth, closed it, then opened it again, but nothing came out. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know whether or not I would show up. I wanted to, I really did, but I wasn’t quite willing to let Sirius know who I was. With or without Alice’s magical mask. I stared down at my feet, willing myself to say anything, but the only thought that crossed my mind was blurting out who I was. Who L.C. was

COMING!” I shouted, darting for the staircase. I didn’t stop until I reached the top of the staircase. I listened below to hear absolute silence.

“Does she realize that we are all down here?” Alice asked.

“That’s Lenny for you,” Lily responded. A few people mumbled things of agreement before it got quiet.

I suppose I still had it in me. I approve of that.

I groaned and tossed another gown back over the top of the changing room door. I didn’t like this. I didn’t like it one bit. For one, it was harder than skinning a bowtruckle to get into these godforsaken monstrosities. Not to mention they were frilly and I kept getting poked in the eye with frill. That damn frill was out to get me, I’m telling you. Who the bloody hell would wear frill anyways? Mary and Marlene really needed a reality check. I would knock them a good one in the eye if they threw one more bloody deathly frill dress over the top of this dressing room.

“You can’t say no to them all!” Marlene protested from the other side of the door. I heard her stomp away to find another one.

“Can’t he just be the one to wear the dress?” I asked hopefully. Maybe Sirius would. I have always had a theory that he had a feminine side. He did have an obsession with his hair after all.

“You’re very close to going naked, Crowley!” Mary hissed, pulling open the door partly and slipping another dress in the room. I didn’t even bother to look at this one. It was damn pointless. They had absolutely no taste whatsoever.

Mary was going in a low cut, silky, shag-me-now dress. It had a slit all the way up to her hip for Merlin’s sake. It was peach, bringing out her tanned skin. It hugged her all too much, but men liked that sort of thing I suppose. She had already planned on tying her hair up in a huge fancy bun to show off the size of her chest. She had the matching shoes and jewelry already tucked in a seat outside the dressing rooms.

Marlene had actually chosen something a little classier contrary to popular belief. The corset of her dress was dark blue with black stripes through it. The skirt flowed all around her, making her look like a princess (something I knew I’d never pull off). She had asked my opinion of it because she was going with Teddy (what the bloody hell was she thinking?), but I refused to give an opinion. I was still mad at him. If I could, I’d transfer my blood into Marlene so that I didn’t have to be related to him.

Alice had a dress that was… well… very Alice. Modest, yet beautiful. Plain, yet so extraordinary that you didn’t even notice how boring it really was. It was grey and looked far too much like a wedding dress than a ball gown. Frank Longbottom would love it. More importantly, he’d probably love Alice. It’s weird sometimes how perfect two people are for one another. You just can’t let a bint like Mary get in the way of that.

Lily’s dress was positively stunning. She went with something simple, but completely mind striking. It was a green that matched her stunning eyes. It flowed all the way down to her feet in ringlets. It had a bare back, but was very modest in the front, covering up her cleavage pretty well. I could already see Potter drooling over her (though I’m still not sure why she agreed to go with that toerag). Her dress, along with all the others, was sitting on the waiting room chairs.

And here I was, not being able to find a bloody dress. How hard could it be? If Mary and Marlene threw me one decent dress, I might be tempted to buy it, but no. They have to throw me slag dresses and horrible bridesmaid’s dresses. What did they think we were going to, the club or a wedding? Bloody hell, someone save me now. I shouldn’t have ever agreed to go to this bloody ball with bloody Sirius Black. I regret sending him that letter saying I’d come. I swear, I was forced by Lily. She can be pretty scary when she’s determined.

“Come out already, Lenny!” Lily called in frustration. I groaned, pulling the dress as hard as I could over my butt. It just barely came over it.

“If you don’t come out, we’re coming in!” Marlene yelled.

“That’s a little drastic, don’t you think?” Alice’s soft voice asked. Bloody dress. I can’t fit it over my chest.

“That’s it! We’re coming in!” Mary shouted, pulling open the door just as I managed to get the dress over my breasts. She gasped loudly, turning towards the girls. “You have got to see this!”

“No!” I shouted, trying to shut the door on Mary. I was hideous. I probably looked like a half eaten troll. Since when did trolls get eaten, may you ask? Since I was put into this dress, that’s when.

“Let me see!” Lily shouted, shoving the door open with the help of the other girls. From the force, I fell backwards, toppling over onto the ground. All the girls gasped as they stared down at me. Oh come on, they knew I was clumsy!

“Oh my Merlin…” Alice mumbled, her eyes nearly out of their sockets.

“Lenny, that’s just..” Lily tried, but fell short of words.

“You’re buying that one.” Marlene said simply. Mary smirked to herself, pulling me to my feet. I felt the dress ruffle around my feet. Oh no. No fluffiness.

“I don’t think so!” I told them, shaking my head and trying to pull the dress off of me in a hurry.

“Lenny, just look,” Mary sighed, turning me towards the mirror. What I saw shocked me. The corset of the gown was black with red vines flowing through it in an unorganized pattern. The dress then pirouetted from there, flowing down to my angles in many different layers. The large skirt didn’t jet out like a wedding gown, but actually stayed pretty close to my body. Every single layer was either red or black. I blinked a few times at my reflection.

“She loves it!” Marlene squealed.

“She hates it,” I confirmed.

“Why?!” Mary exclaimed, grabbing me and hoisting me up with barely a problem. I stared at my reflection again. Why didn’t I like it?

”It’s not very Lenny,” I mumbled. All the girls stared at me in shock. Lily came up next to me, staring at my reflection as well.

“But it’s very L.C,” She whispered to me. I smiled lightly. Sirius wasn’t going with Lenny, he was going with L.C. Though we were the same people. I had to be different than Lenny.

“Okay, I’ll buy it,” I told them. All the girls immediately began to squeal. I never understood the girl squeal. I know it means they’re excited, but did they have to be that excited?


“It’s too cold!” I shrieked, my fingers nearly freezing to my broomstick. James shot me a warning glance, then went back to passing the quaffle to Alice who tucked it under her arm. Probably for warmth.

“I agree with Lenny!” Michael said from above me as he grabbed the snitch between his trembling fingers.

“We keep practicing until I say so!” James shouted at the both of us. I groaned as Alice shot the quaffle towards me rather weakly. I caught it with ease, but I swear my fingers immediately were glued to it.

“Well, then say so, Potter! We’re freezing! It’s got to be the coldest day Hogwarts has seen in long time,” Ludo whined. I found his voice incredibly annoying during practice lately.

“Are you done whining, Bagman?” Sirius hissed. I could see him glaring at Ludo from here.

“I’m complaining,” Ludo corrected.

“Same thing.”

“Take a little break,” James sighed, knowing he was getting no where. I darted for the ground before James could even move. I ran straight for the warmth of the girl’s changing room.

“Ahh sweet, sweet warmth!” I cried, curling next to the fireplace that was blazing. So there was a purpose for a fireplace in the locker rooms.

“A bit dramatic, Lenny,” Alice commented, walking over towards the fireplace and kneeling down next to me, placing her hands as close to the fire as she could without putting them in it.

“This cold makes you dramatic,” I told her, curling up tighter. We sat in silence for a moment, both letting the warmth melt our limbs. I felt myself turning back into a person, not an icicle anymore.

“You know you don’t have to go with Sirius to the ball if you don’t want to,” Alice said in a soft voice. I looked over at her to see her head resting on her raise knees. She was staring at me, studying me for any sign of emotion. I blinked a few times. Did I want to go with Sirius to the ball?

“I actually think I do,” I said slowly. Alice smiled at me.

“I knew you were going to say that. I had to make sure you knew that too,” Alice said, getting up and jumping around a bit. “We should get back out there.”

“I’ll catch up,” I told her, watching her walk out.

I brushed a strand of hair out of my face. I watched as the flames from the fire licked at the wood like a hungry hippogriff. I frowned to myself. If you would’ve asked me a few months ago if I would be agreeing to go to this ball with Sirius Black, I would think something was horribly wrong with you. I felt like something was horribly wrong with me. How did I get here? Where did I lose my brother and gain friends? When did I lose myself?

I stormed out of the locker room and straight up to James who was standing on the side lines, staring up at the hoops. My hoops. When he saw me coming, his face immediately froze and turned to stone. Yet I didn’t stop, I shoved straight past him, to the boy’s locker room. I slammed it open to see Sirius and Michael talking on their benches. I didn’t give my mind a chance to see the differences between our locker rooms.

“Black?” I managed to say. He turned towards me, furrowing his eyebrows.

“What’s up, Crowley?” He questioned, getting up and leaning against a locker. Yes, he did look very attractive doing that. Merlin.

“Uhm…I, uh…” I stuttered. Why had I even come in there in the first place? I couldn’t tell you.

“I’ll just go back to the pitch,” Michael said, getting up and all but running out. I blinked a few times at the door. Sirius crossed his arms at me. The silence was deafening.

“Are you okay, Lenny?” Sirius asked, coming forward a bit.

“I’m Loony Lenny.” I declared. Sirius blinked at me, but didn’t say anything. “I’m still the same person I was a few months ago. I still go to Lennyland whenever I need some time to myself. I still will try to find nargles on Christmas day, but this time by myself since my father is in Azkaban. I still bite my quills to their tips. I may not have Teddy by my side and I may have friends now, but that doesn’t change that I’m Lenny Crowley.”

Sirius stared at me, furrowing his eyebrows. I’m sure I startled him. He blinked a few times from the position he was in. He didn’t put his eyes off of me, though. It was like he was looking into my soul, looking for a reason as to why I said what I said. It was the truth, though. I wasn’t a fake person (other than L.C.). I was Lenora Crowley, as much as I hated that. I was the person he used to hate, not this person he now is friends with.

“Lenny…” Sirius said, coming forward. He stood right in front of me. I could see the grey of his eyes and the brown flecks in them. “The person you were a few months ago was an amazing person. I would never expect you to change and I know you haven’t. As for those nargles….I’ll go with you this year. You might have to teach me a bit about nargles. Teddy will come around, but I’m here for you too.”

He was right in front of me. My heart was pounding in my throat. He was sweet. Charming. I had a bloody crush on Sirius Black. Who would have thought? He looked down at me and I felt my legs tingling (this could be from the cold). Sirius reached forward, brushing a strand of my dark hair from my face, except he didn’t move his hand from my cheek. I saw his eyes flick down to my lips. Did he just move forward? He was moving forward. I froze, feeling the foot move to inches, to an inch, to a few centimeters….

“Are you two coming?” James asked, causing us to jump apart. Now there were feet in between us. I stared down at the floor in embarrassment.

“Y-yeah. I’m coming,” Sirius stumbled over his words. He grabbed his broom that was resting on a locker and crossed the room. I was still frozen on spot. He looked at me, smiled a bit, then returned to the pitch.

Well, Merlin. I was going to the Masquerade Ball with Sirius Black. My heart fluttered a bit.

Author's Note: SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?! I won't get another chapter out until after the queue closure, but I'm super excited I got this in before then. Fourth of July, here I come! The next chapter will be the ball ;D. Are you excited?! I know I am. I'm going to perfect it over the queue closure, so hopefully it'll be my best yet. So.... Lenny's dress? Sound pretty? Sirius and McGonagall having an affair?! What?! (That was seriously just a joke). Anything else you can think of? Let me know ;D. SIRIUS IS GOING NARGLE HUNTING WITH LENNY!

Chapter 22: The Masquerade Ball
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amazing chapter image by aconite. @TDA!



This was a mistake. I was making a fool of myself. He’d realize it was me and he’d run for the hills. Even worse, someone else will realize it’s me and out me. This wasn’t good. More than that, I felt like I was going to throw up any moment. This wasn’t good. My dress was going to get ruined. The hard work that all of the girls did was going to get ruined. I just needed to turn around and go back to the dorm. Would the girls even notice if I was missing? Surely they wouldn’t. They’d all be too wrapped up in their dates.


But the moment they saw Sirius sitting by himself they’d hunt me down like I was a gazelle and they were cheetahs. Bollucks.


I followed a little bit behind the four girls walking in front of me. They were all talking to cheerfully and giggling with one another that I felt bad for intruding on their fun. They weren’t nervous like I was. They were so excited that they didn’t even take notice to me falling back into my own steps. I listened to my heels echo on the stone ground. The corridor was lined with torches lighting our way to the Entrance hall. We were almost there and yet I felt like everything was moving too fast. I felt like I was walking too fast and that this whole ball was flying by already. I felt my stomach flop and that was when I ripped open Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom door and rushed for the nearest stall.


There goes supper.


“Lenny? You all right?” I heard Lily ask. I answered her by emptying my stomach into the toilet again. She pushed open the stall, rubbing small circles on my back.


“I can’t do this, Lily,” I mumbled, resting my forehead against the side of the stall. I didn’t think about the germs. The coldness felt great on my burning up skin.


“Yes, you can. You’re gorgeous, Lenny. You have absolutely nothing to worry about,” Lily tried. That was the problem. I was gorgeous, something I wasn’t used to. This wasn’t me. Hell, I wasn’t even sure if this was L.C.


“I have everything to worry about, Lily,” I mumbled, but I wasn’t quite sure if she heard me. With a sigh, she took out her wand and waved it over me. I felt the feeling of vomiting disappear but it didn’t mean I wasn’t going to do it again.


“Come on, love. You’ve got a special someone waiting for you,” Lily said, hauling me to my feet. I felt sick again, but Lily was fast and pulled me out of the bathroom without another word. Good thing because I was afraid Moaning Myrtle would induct me into her bathroom club. She’s tried before.


“You ready, Lenny?” Alice asked. I sighed, nodding my head nervously. .I had a feeling if I wasn’t these girls would drag me down there anyways. Lily linked her arm into mine (probably to make sure I didn’t run) and continued on our way.


The grand staircase was decorated in blue and white tinsel. Snow was falling from the sky, but never landed on our shoulders. The flames from the candles were charmed to be blue and white. There were cheesy sparkles everywhere and icicle this and that, but it was so stunning that you would never be able to call it lame. I glanced at the other girls and their faces lit up upon seeing the Entrance Hall. It was packed with people trying to find their dates and ghosts floating around in glee. It was absolutely perfect.


“Okay, mask time Ms. L.C,” Lily whispered to me. Alice smiled at me as I slipped the elegant mask over my eyes.


“Lily!” Someone called from the crowd of people. I could see the wild mess that was James Potter’s hair as he pushed his way past people and stood at the bottom of the seven steps we had yet to descend. I looked at Lily’s face and she was paler than you expect from a red head.


“Wow you look….and your dress…wow,” James stuttered. His face was red as he nervously chuckled and ran a hand through his hair.


“T-thanks,” Lily stuttered back. I snorted from next to her, getting an elbow from Mary. They did the whole “gaze into each other’s eyes” thing for a good thirty seconds before Marlene coughed not-so-subtly.


“Err-right! Shall we?” James asked. Lily nodded, making her way slowly down the staircases. She hooked her arm into James’s and they disappeared into the crowd.


“There they are!” Another voice shouted. Frank and Remus appeared from the crowd next. Alice’s face immediately lit up like a Christmas tree as she flew down the staircase and straight into Frank’s arms. I raised my eyebrows at Marlene from this action. It was very un-Alice like.


“You look gorgeous, Mary,” Remus said, staring up at Mary with admiration. Mary put a polite smile on her face as she floated down the stairs.


“Just because you can’t compliment me doesn’t mean you get a shag tonight,” Mary said, grabbing Remus’s arm and dragging him away before I could register the shocked expression on his face. I laughed along with Marlene.


“Then there were two,” She mumbled. She finished walking the rest of the way down the staircase. She turned, smirking up at me.


“Where’s Teddy?” I asked her. She shrugged.


“Oh L.C!” She bellowed, holding her chest dramatically with one hand and holding the other one out to me. I felt my face grow red with embarrassment. “I have waited day and night for this moment! We shall be wed right now; I do not think I can wait any longer!”


“I don’t think it’ll go that way,” I told her, taking a few steps. These heels were not my friend.


“It can go that way if you wish,” a voice said from behind me. I froze on the last step. Marlene’s smile grew as she gazed over my shoulder. “I’m not quite sure about the marriage thing though. You’ll probably have to shag me first.”


I turned around to see Sirius Black a mere two steps above me. His dress robes fit him perfectly. The white undershirt fit his chiseled chest so well that it begged for me to touch it. His jet black hair was swept perfectly off of his forehead. It even looked like he had worked an extra hour on it to make it sit perfectly on his head (not that it already didn’t). His eyes were glowing and his skin was clear of any blemishes (though I doubt he ever had one there in the first place). He looked perfect. Absolutely perfect. My breath was caught in my throat. I didn’t know what to say.


“You look….wow,” He chuckled nervously, taking a few steps down. He was now on the same step as me. I smiled, allowing a small giggle to escape my lips. A giggle? Pull yourself together, Lenny! You don’t giggle!

“This better not be a waste of my time, Black,” I found myself hissing at him. He looked slightly taken back, but recomposed himself and grinned widely at me. He held out a corsage with a red and black rose on it. I let him place it on my wrist.


“Beautiful,” He said once he had fastened the corsage. He then looked up at me, studying my face. I hoped he didn’t recognize me. “Absolutely beautiful.”


I felt my face flush with embarrassment, but yet it was the good embarrassment. I felt on cloud nine. His eyes glowed as he stared at every inch of my face. At least he had the decency not to stare at my chest. That was a step up from the Sirius I knew. He was still holding my hand when he kissed it lightly. I felt my blush creep up my neck. It didn’t matter that Marlene was a few steps below me. It didn’t matter that I was standing on the middle of the stairs.


“Hot date, Black!” Someone shouted. Sirius broke out of his trance to glare at the bottom of the staircase.


“Shove off, Bagman!” Sirius hissed. I turned to see Ludo stumbling drunkenly at the bottom of the staircase. Really? Drunk already and it was just the beginning of the ball.


“I’ll see you later, doll face.” Ludo mumbled at me, sending a wink my way before stumbling off.


“Well I’m off,” Marlene said, awkwardly, turning and walking away as slowly as she could. Maybe my brother would find her that way in her mind. Unlikely. Teddy couldn’t find a needle in a haystack even if all the hay was actually needles.


“Come on. Let’s dance,” Sirius said, taking the last final steps with my hand in his. I faltered slightly.


“I can’t dance,” I mumbled. It was true. If I had two left feet while just normally walking, I’d be royally screwed while trying to make myself look elegant. Sirius turned towards me, frowning.


“I’ll teach you, love. We have all night,” He said, smiling before taking me through the Entrance Hall doors and into the Great Hall.


If I described the Entrance Hall as beautiful, it didn’t even begin to explain how the Great Hall looked. There were crystal icicles, fake snow, blue twinkling lights, and even floating drink trays. Couples were dancing wildly and the music was resounding off the walls. There were round tables off to the side where a few people were sitting, talking about Merlin knows what. I saw house elves weaving in and out of the dancers and picking up multiple things that not even I could see. There were sporadic teachers everywhere, but I don’t think they particularly cared what people were doing. I saw Mary grinding on Remus who stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. I saw Lily and James talking next to the punch bowl. I saw Alice and Frank laughing to one another, dancing around wildly.


“May I have this dance, love?” Sirius asked, bowing down. I laughed, nodding as he took my hand and led me to the dance floor. Expecting him to start dancing around me and do the wild things I saw everyone else do, I was caught off guard when he pulled me into him.


“What’re you doing? This isn’t a slow song,” I told him. He put his hand on the small of my back, cupping my hand in his other hand.


“I’m aware,” He told me. I rolled my eyes, but let it be. I’d let Sirius take the wheel tonight.


He spun me around, holding me close to him the whole time. It was as though he’d never let go. I wasn’t complaining. I didn’t want him to let me go. We stayed in comfortable silence, grinning to one another whenever we had the chance. I didn’t know what other couples were doing and I didn’t particularly care. It didn’t matter. It was as though Sirius and I were the only ones on the dance floor right now. We were the only ones dancing to our own music.


“So tell me,” Sirius said, breaking the silence after the second song ended. I wasn’t even paying attention to the music, honestly, “Favorite Quidditch team?”


“Falmouth Falcons,” I told him. “You?”


“I have the favor the Harpies. Mom and all. Secretly my favorite is the Cannons,” Sirius said with a grin.


“Rebel you,” I commented with a chuckle.


“If you could have one thing, what would it be?” Sirius asked again. I frowned at this one.


“Why would you ask me that?”


“I want to know as much as possible about you, L.C. Even if I only have a few hours with you, I will know more about you than you know yourself. I promise you that,” Sirius said. I smiled to myself. Did he mean to be so corny and sweet or was it just habit at this point?


“I have everything I want. I wouldn’t ask for much more.” I told him. His grin widened at me. He stopped dancing, pulling me to a hault with him.


“That’s the best answer I’ve ever heard,” Sirius said, pulling me off the dance floor. We went over to the punch bowl, each taking a cup and beginning to sip at it. It was spiked, but I didn’t care. I ran my finger along the rim on the cup, staring down into it.


“So why’d you invite me tonight? I heard you had plenty of options,” I asked him out of curiosity. He chuckled, looking down into his own cup.


“I have this odd attraction to you. It’s strange. I have never met you and yet I’ve never been so attracted to someone. I think it’s your charm that does me in,” Sirius winked at me. I laughed, taking another sip of my punch.


“Do you really believe in that whole destiny with the stars thing?” I asked him.


“I don’t know,” He answered honestly. He then looked right into my eyes and I felt my body freeze. Looking into his eyes gave me a sense of sanity that I never have felt before. “Do you?”






So maybe I didn’t know which was true, but I was supposed to live in the moment. I was supposed to enjoy the night. If I didn’t, I knew the wandering eyes of Lily, Mary, Alice, and Marlene would find me and would beat me later for it. Plus, Sirius wasn’t a bad date. I knew I had jealous eyes looking at me, but it didn’t matter. I was with Sirius Black and he was with me. That bleach blond slag who looked ready to come over and snog the living lights out of Sirius could go crawl into a hippogriff’s arse for all I cared at this point.


“Well it looks like Lily and James are having a good time,” Sirius said, gesturing towards the spot on the dance floor where James had just twirled Lily who was laughing in spite of herself. I grinned to myself.


“About time, huh?” I said. Sirius let his head roll back as he laughed.


“You’re telling me. I’ve heard Prongs talk nonstop about Evans for the past six years,” Sirius said. I smiled to myself. James brushed a strand away from Lily’s face, who was visably blushing. He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips.


“I feel like I’m ruining their moment,” I told him, turning away. Sirius smirked at me, cupping my hand and pulling me back towards the Entrance Hall.


“Well come on then. Let’s not ruin it for them,” He said. Once we made it to the Entrance Hall, Sirius draped his arm over my shoulders. He then led me towards the front doors which were already propped open with twinkling fairy lights leading out the doors.


“Where are we going?” I asked him.


“They have gazebos outside. Thought we could have our own moment,” He said, sending a wink my way. I felt a blush creep up my neck.


“Sirius, I-I don’t think…err, I mean…I have to pee!” I shrieked the last few words. Sirius blinked a few times at me before a smile broke onto his face.


“I didn’t mean it like that, love. I just meant we could talk. If it leads to snogging, I won’t protest,” Sirius joked. I felt my heartbeat slow back down to a steady pace. No pressure, right?


“O-okay,” I mumbled. Sirius laughed to himself, pulling me out the front doors.


“Do you always do that?” Sirius asked me, passing couples who were snogging on benches and whispering things in each other’s ears.


“Do what?” I asked, trying hard not to look at a couple who looked ready to shag right there in the empty gazebo they were in.


“Try to run when you feel uncomfortable,” Sirius asked. I faltered at his question. I didn’t do that. I can’t run to save my life anyways.


“I don’t do that,” I said.


“You try to.”


I blinked up at Sirius, and then frowned at the ground. I thought of all the times I’ve felt uncomfortable and what I’ve said to get away from it. Some awkward things, but I always managed to get away. How would Sirius know that though? Did he know I was really L.C? He must. How else would he know that I do that? Had he known all along? Was he just waiting for the right time to bring it up? I honestly thought he’d be a little smoother about it, but each to their own, I suppose.


“I have a friend that does that,” Sirius said, breaking the silence. “She’s pretty funny when she finds the need to run. Lenny Crowley, you know her?”


“Uhm… y-yeah. We’ve…crossed paths a few times,” I mumbled. I mentally sighed in relief. I was in the clear for now.


Sirius guided me towards an empty white gazebo. Twinkling lights hung from it and a small bench was resting inside of it. We could hear the music from the school faintly. I could hear the giggle of the girl from a few gazebos over as her date nibbled at her collar bone. Choke me now. Sirius sat down on the bench, patting the spot next to him. I walked over to him, sitting next to him. We sat in a silence for a while, letting the warmth of the heating charm seep into our bones.


“I didn’t think you’d come,” Sirius admitted. I turned towards him.


“Why?” I asked. He turned towards me in turn, lifting one leg onto the bench so he could turn his whole body towards me.


“You’re hard to figure out. One minute you’re nice and sweet in your letters, and then you’re cold and distant,” Sirius said. “I’m not sure if we cross paths and I do something wrong or if you just PMS a lot.”


It was my turn to laugh at his comment now. Sirius was better now than he has ever been before. He was nicer, sweeter, and even went out of his way to be nice to me. “No its not that… you’ve been nice to me, Sirius. Oddly nice, actually.”


“It’d be nice if I knew who I was being nice to, but I’m not pushing you. I know you want to keep your identity a secret,” Sirius said. I looked down at my hands. I wanted to tell him, I did. I was just afraid of his reaction when he saw I was Lenny Crowley.


“I don’t think you want to know, honestly,” I told him.


“No, I really do. It wouldn’t change a thing, love,” Sirius said, He was holding my hands, tracing circles on them just as he had done while I was in the hospital. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I didn’t know what to say. It would change everything. Nothing would be the same anymore.


“Let’s just enjoy this night, yeah?” I said. Sirius frowned, but nodded nonetheless. I tucked myself under his arm and he sighed in content. At least what I thought was content. Could be irritation. Who knows.


“Aye!” Someone shouted from the walkway.


“Not him again,” Sirius mumbled under his breath. I sat up straighter to see Ludo Bagman stumbling up our gazebo. I felt panic rush over me.


“Why helloooo lovey!” Ludo slurred, looking straight at me. It was as though Sirius wasn’t even there to him.


“What do you want, Bagman?” Sirius asked in irritation.


“I want her,” He said, pointing at me. “Come with me, darling. I”ll show you a good time, yeah?”


“Shove off,” I hissed.


“Oooo feisty!” Ludo laughed. “I like that!”


“Don’t make me hit you again, Bagman,” Sirius warned, stepping in between me and Ludo. Ludo smirked at Sirius. He didn’t seem threatened at all. In fact, he seemed to think it was a joke.


“Why because I’m going to steal your other girl away from you too?” He asked in a mocking tone. Sirius’s jaw tightened.


“Get away, Bagman. Now. Final warnng,” He growled through clenched teeth.


“You know how to pick them, though. First Crowley and now this smoking-“ Ludo started, but was cut off by Sirius’s right hook to his jaw. I gasped in shock as Ludo hit the gazebo floor with a loud crash.


“Let’s get out of here,” Sirius said to me. I didn’t protest as he pulled me to my feet and we both rushed back into the school. I stopped him once we reached the Entrance Hall and turned him towards me. His face was red and his jaw was still clenched. He was holding on extremely tight to my own hand. I thought he would break it at the rate he was going.


“Thank you.” I told him. His jaw unclenched slightly as he seemed to calm down slightly. I wrapped my arms around his middle and laid my head on his chest in a tight hug. He chuckled against the top of my head and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.


“No one deserves to be treated like that by a man. I’ve learned that,” Sirius mumbled into my hair. He had learned. He had learned so much in the last few months that I was amazed. He had changed. It gave me hope. I pulled him back into the Great Hall where a slow song was resounding off the walls. I pulled him into me this time, now dancing in each other’s embrace.


We danced like this for a few songs, not saying a single word. After some fast songs came on, we retired to a table and talked. I’m sure we could’ve talked for hours at the rate we were going at. He got us drinks, even stole the pumpkin pasties bowl for the two of us to share. For a first date, I’d say Sirius Black went beyond anything I could ever imagine I grinned to myself as Sirius told me more about his friends. I already knew enough about them, but he got so much joy talking about them that I wasn’t going to ruin that.


“Oh hey, there they are!” Sirius said, gesturing over my shoulder. He waved at them, gesturing for them to join us. Remus, Mary, James, and Lily made their way towards us. I saw Lily and Mary share a smirk with one another as they sat down opposite me, still grinning like mad.


“So this the girl, eh?” Remus said, giving me the same knowing smirk hat Mary and Lily just had. I felt a blush creep up my neck again. I glanced at James who had his eyes narrowed on me. I hoped he wasn’t going to figure out who I was.


“Who are you?” James asked harshly. Sirius turned to glare at him.


“L.C.” I told him.


“And who’s that?”




“What does L.C. stand for?”


“That’s for you to decide, I suppose.”


James blinked at me a few times, then glared again. He glanced around the table, obviously trying to find someone else who would interrogate me. Once he realized no one else would, he turned back to Sirius. Sirius’s face was red with embarrassment over his best mate. His eyes widened and he sent James a warning tone. James sighed, turning back to me.


“I don’t care if you’re a girl or not. You hurt my mate, I’ll hurt you. Understood?” James threatened. I had gotten plenty of threats from James in the past on the Quidditch pitch

Another one didn’t scare me.


“Of course, Potter,” I said, smiling at him. He looked taken back by my smile, but tried not to falter. He was putting on a tough front. I was used to this all too much.


“Err…right. Come on Lily, let’s go.” James said, grabbing Lily’s hand and pulling her to her feet.


“But we just got here!” Lily protested but was already being pulled away by James. All of us left laughed at Lily’s expense.


“I’m Mary McDonald,” Mary said with a smirk. I glared at her, but nodded my head all the same.


“Pleasure,” I told her. She snorted slightly into her hand. Remus smiled at me, then looked at Sirius.


“Picked a good one, Padfoot,” He told him. Sirius grinned, grabbing my hand and squeezing it under the table.


“I know,” He told Remus.


“Have you seen Crowley yet?” Mary asked not-so-subtly. I swiftly kicked her under the table. She grunted, but tried to make it look innocent.


“You’re right! I promised her a dance!” Sirius said, looking apologetic at me as he went to get to his feet to start looking for me.


“Er Sirius?” Remus said, interrupting Sirius’s eye sweep of the room. “She didn’t come, mate.”


Sirius’s face immediately fell. He stopped looking around and sat down next to me, a frown creasing into his face. I frowned at Remus who winced slightly at his own words. He was like Sirius: hated to see his friends hurt. Sirius opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it quickly. He didn’t have anything to say. No one really did. We all knew that the girl he was looking for was right next to him. Everyone but him.


“Oh.” Was all he could say. I wrapped my hand into his and pulled him to his feet.


“Let’s dance,” I told him. He nodded stiffly, letting me guide his arms around me. We swayed slowly with one another. We stayed in silence as Sirius slowly let his limbs calm down and let himself get back into the present moment.


“Can I do something?” He asked after the third song ended. I looked up at him to see his eyebrows creased together in concentration. I blinked a few times, but nodded all the same.


“Sure, what is it?” I asked him. He grinned at me, brushing any hair that was in my face away from it. My pulse immediately picked up. I couldn’t pull my eyes away from Sirius’s. When he made the glance to my lips, I immediately knew of his intentions. I was going to pull away, I was going to run, but I didn’t. I wanted this. I wanted this for a while and I couldn’t believe that I was mentally admitting that. Sirius leaned in towards me. I closed my eyes. I could feel his warm breath against my face and smell the mint he had eaten not too long ago. Smooth, Black.


And then I felt his soft lips against my own. Gentle, yet I could feel the full force of them. It was a simple, yet elegant kiss. It wasn’t a huge snog or a tongue-filled make out session. It was a simple kiss that lasted a few seconds. Yet that was good enough for us. It was good enough for me. It was good enough to make my heart nearly leap out of my chest. It was good enough to make me smile as he pulled away. He looked down at me for my reaction and broke into a huge grin as he saw my own grin. The clock chimed midnight, but it didn’t matter. It was just us two here.


“Can I do one more thing?” Sirius asked me.


“Anything.” I whispered. He smiled, reaching his hands up and touching the mask that covered my eyes. He wanted to know who I was and I didn’t seem to care. I closed my eyes, waiting for him to pull the mask away. I was Lenny Crowley, not L.C and he would find that out. I’d let him.


Then suddenly, everything happened at once. I opened my eyes in time to see Teddy come stomping over and slam Sirius with a fist to his jaw. Sirius stumbled backwards, holding his jaw in shock. But Teddy wasn’t done. He slammed another fist straight into Sirius’s nose, sending him backwards into a chair, breaking it straight through as the chair collapsed and so did he. Teddy jumped on top of Sirius, throwing fists. There was shouting and screaming from people around. James ran over and tried to yank Teddy off. Yet the whole time, Sirius didn’t throw a single punch.


“What the bloody hell, Teddy?!” I shrieked.


“Stay-away-from-her!” Teddy screamed between punches. Sirius blocked a few, but was so overwhelmed that I don’t think he had a chance to think.


“Lenny, I’m so sorry!” Marlene said, coming to my side. I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t sure if I should rush in or let them go at it.


“Why are you sorry?” I asked her, watching as professors got involved now, trying to calm Teddy down.


“I told Teddy that you were Sirius’s date.” I gasped at her and covered my mouth. This wasn’t how I wanted Sirius to find things out. This definitely wasn’t how I wanted the night to go. Everything was being ruined. Everything was coming crashing down.


The professors blasted Teddy and Sirius apart. Teddy flew across the room, but Sirius managed to land right at my feet. He looked up at me, blood covering his face and frowned, unsure why Teddy would have done that. Teddy was screaming curses on the opposite side of the hall, but it didn’t matter. Sirius managed to make his way to his feet and was staring straight at me, no one else. I opened my mouth, afraid of what he would ask me. Afraid of what I’d have to say.


“What the bloody hell was that for?” He asked me when he should’ve been asking Teddy. I knew he wanted the answer from me, though. He knew I knew.


“I-I…” I stuttered. I felt panic flash over me. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t be with Sirius. It wasn’t right. It would never be right.


And then I was running. I ran from the Great Hall, kicking off my shoes and going as fast as my legs would take me. I may not be a runner but when I want to, I can go with the best of them. I threw the mask off my face in frustration and took two stairs at a time. I wasn’t just running from that dance, I was running from everything. I was running from the troubles of Teddy. I was running from my family. I was running from Sirius Black. Because I was Lenny Crowley. I wasn’t L.C. I’d never be the L.C. he wanted me to be.


I couldn’t be her.

Author's Note: WORTH THE WAIT?! There's the dance, ladies and gents! Lenny and Sirius kissed! Lenny's falling in love! But then she runs from her problems. Sirius knocks Ludo out. Teddy beats up Sirius. Sirius wants answer. Lenny cant' give them. what are we going to do?! Let me know what you think, loves! Sorry for such the long wait!


Chapter 23: Protego
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beautiful chapter image by aconite. @TDA!




I stared down at the roll of parchment in front of me. A large red D was marked on the very top. Dreadful. I was dreadful. Sure, I had never been Outstanding, but absolutely never dreadful. I was normally an acceptable student or sometimes exceeds expectations. I had even received a poor on a few papers, but never dreadful. Screw Professor Dearborn. He hasn’t liked me since I did so well in the dueling tournament.

It was all luck. I swear. None of it was skill.

I could feel the heavy bags underneath my eyes from lack of sleep. I could constantly feel the eyes on me for the way I looked. I didn’t care, though. I had honestly planned on skipping the whole last week of school before the break. It had been going so well until Lily had pulled me out of bed this morning. I had whined and moaned and bitched, but she said that I was going to class even if she had to drag me there in my pajamas.

And here I sit in my pajamas. Not that it mattered. At least I was there. That’s all some teachers seemed to care about.

“Ouch,” Mary mumbled, glancing over at my essay. I turned to her with a cold glare. She held up her hands in defeat.

“And what did you get, hmm? A poor?” I asked her snippily. Everyone knew Mary McDonald was not the smartest student around. She held up her parchment with a smug smirk. Acceptable. Bollucks.

“Now stop being a Ms. Downer and do something with that hair. Black has been staring at you all class,” Mary whispered. I immediately stiffened. I had been avoiding him like the plague. I had been avoiding Teddy too. Mary had somehow managed to pull my hair back into a ponytail in the thirty seconds that I had frozen to my seat.

“There!” Mary said triumphantly. I grunted in response. I didn’t allow myself to turn into Sirius’s direction. I couldn’t look at him. The ball kept flashing in my head. That wasn’t me. That wasn’t who he wanted me to be.

“Am I interrupting something, girls?” Professor Dearborn asked. Everyone’s eyes turned towards Mary and I. I sunk down in my seat, crossing my arms. Thank you, Mary. I really want everyone in the whole class staring at my hideousness.

“No problems back here, Professor!” Mary chipped happily.

“Good. I expect you pay attention and quiet down then, hmm?” He said. Mary nodded as Dearborn turned back towards the board. I will never understand how she gets this kind of power over our professors.

“You should just tell him it’s you,” Mary whispered, starting to doodle on her parchment to make it look as though she was paying attention.

“He’d run away,” I mumbled back, doing the same and doodling on my own parchment.

“He’d love you even more.”

“He doesn’t love me.”

“He does too. He just doesn’t realize it yet.”

“That doesn’t constitute love.”

“Oh, but it does.”

“You’re sounding loonier than me.”

”So you admit you’re loony for Black?”

I sighed and refused to answer her. Loony for Black? That was crazy. Then again, I did have a great time at the ball before Teddy decided to interrupt things. I was going to let him reveal my true identity. I was going to let him take off my mask. I felt a stab in my chest. It didn’t happen. It wasn’t going to happen.


Why’d you run out? If you’re afraid, don’t be. I had the most amazing night with the most amazing girl. You’re just like I pictured you would be: elegant, beautiful, modest, and kind. Not something every girl can be. You’re unique and you’re yourself. That’s what I love the most about you. Did you used to date Teddy Crowley? Is that why he punched me?

I want you to know that I don’t care who you are. You could be a bloody Slytherin for all I cared at this point. The ball made me realize why the stars gave me your initials. I was meant to get them and you were meant to get mine. We are meant for each other. I couldn’t picture someone more perfect for me than you. I want to meet you, L.C. I want to care for you. I want to hold you and kiss you every day. I think I could love you. No, I know I love you. There. I said it. Or wrote it. Whichever you prefer.

Don’t be mad, L.C. This is only the beginning for us.


My fingers were nearly tearing through the parchment. Love. Sirius didn’t even know who I was. How could he love me? How could there be such a thing out there? No, this wasn’t real. His love was for a fake girl. A girl that wasn’t me. A girl I could never be. Sirius wouldn’t love Lenny Crowley. The only girl he would love was L.C. I stared down at his words over and over again and felt tears prick at my eyes.

I heard the giggling of the girls as they neared the dormitory. They always gushed over Sirius letters and threatened to tell him who I as if I didn’t do what they wanted Panicking, I looked around for a place to stash the letter. Why did my portion of the room have to be so bloody messy all the time? Without a second left to think, I shoved the letter into Mary’s owl cage (which was empty, thank Godric) just in time for Lily, Alice, and Mary all to walk in.

“He is so smitten with you, Lils!” Alice said, pulling her knitted hat off of her head and setting down on her bedside table. I sat innocently on my bed, blinking at the group innocently. Yes, keep believing I didn’t do anything. Good.

“He is not,” Lily said stubbornly, but even I could hear the lie in her voice as the blush crept up her cheeks.

“Who?” I questioned. I could do innocent. Ha ha.

“Potter!” Mary chipped in, giggling as Lily’s face grew as red as her hair.

“He is not smitten with me!” Lily said childishly.

“Oh come off it. The bloke has fancied you since our first year!” Alice said, throwing a pillow at Lily. Lily caught it ungracefully, having it flop in the air a few times. I snorted slightly. If it weren’t for Quidditch I’d have Lily’s coordination, I was sure of it. I would like to take this moment to thank the Quidditch Gods for giving me the skill of Quidditch.

“He is—wait, what’s that?” Mary started, but cut herself off once she got a view of her owl cage. I froze right on spot as Mary crossed the room and opened her owl’s cage. She peered at the swirling of Sirius’s words and the large letters L.C. written at the top of the page. Then she gasped and looked at me. “A new Sirius letter?”

And that was when I leapt into action. Literally. I flew straight for Mary, knocking her against her nightstand and making us both crumble to the floor. That didn’t stop me. I spread myself like an eagle over her as I tried to grasp the letter, but Mary wouldn’t have it. She held it just out of my reach as she tried to do her best to shove me off to no avail. She pulled my hair, pinched my arms and even swatted at my face, but that didn’t mean I was getting off of her. Nosiree, she was not reading that blasted letter.

“Lenny what are you doing?!”

“Get off of me!”

“Bloody hell!”

“Give me my letter!”


I pinned Mary’s shoulder down as best I could, but she still managed to wiggle around enough. Somehow she managed to shove me hard and my head slammed into her bed, a shoe digging into my bottom. Immediately Lily and Alice streaked across the room and were reading the letter with Mary silently. They all looked up at me at almost the exact same time. They all had the same blank expression on their faces. It seemed as though I was holding all of their eye contacts for minutes. Hours. Years even.

“You have to tell him,” Lily mumbled, breaking the silent. She crawled until she was right in front of me. Her emerald eyes searched my own for an answer. I was frozen. I didn’t know what to say or even what to do.

“I can’t,” I whispered. Lily’s face immediately fell.

“He loves you, Len. You have to do something about this!” Lily told me in frustration. I shook my head, tears pricking my eyes.

“He doesn’t love me. He loves the girl in the letters. Not Lenny Crowley.” I found myself saying. I stared down at the cluttered ground, not looking up.

When we are little, the only love we see is that of our parents. Unconditional and forever giving. It’s what every girl wishes for when she grows old. It’s the only love I have ever seen in my whole life. My parents used to be so deeply in love that it was sickening. Sure, they were a little crazy at times and yelled, but they always made up and always found their way back to each other. So how can a love like that not prosper and survive? How did a love like that drive someone to an affair and another to murder?

“Love doesn’t exist.” I said, my voice cracking. The girls all looked at each other and then back at me.

“Don’t say that.” Mary whispered. I shook my head and let out a harsh laugh.

“It’s true. Ever wonder why the Hairy Warlock dies? Because of love, that’s why,” I hissed at her.

“Well…it’s mainly because he cut out his heart and then the witches,” Alice mumbled, immediately stopping her explanation the moment I glared her way. Before I had a chance to respond, there was a tapping at our door. Lily’s eyebrows furrowed together as she got up and opened the door to reveal Teddy still clad in his uniform.

“Can I talk to you, Lenny?” Teddy asked sheepishly. I blinked a few times before nodding.

“How’d you get up here?” Lily asked, glancing behind him and into the hall. The stairs were still in tact, I knew that.

“Being friends with the Marauders has its perks,” Teddy said with a smirk and wink at Lily. I got up and crossed the room.

“What could you possibly want?” I questioned. He sighed and pushed at his thick brown hair.

“I shouldn’t have hit him,” Teddy growled. I raised my eyebrows, crossing my arms. He wouldn’t get away with it that easily.

“You laid him out, Teddy. Plus, you don’t sound too sorry,” I told him.

“I never said I was sorry. The prick deserved it,” Teddy told me. I felt my eyes narrow into slits as I glared at him. Was he really going to be this big of a prick about it?

“He did not deserve it, Teddy Crowley!” Mary hissed, coming up to my side and jabbing Teddy in the chest with her slim finger. Teddy look affronted by the action.

“What makes you say that?” Teddy asked her in an accusing tone.

“He loves her!” Alice chipped in, waving the letter around. Oh Godric no. This is a sick joke. No way in Merlin’s name was Teddy reading that letter.

“Apology accepted! See you tomorrow morning! Save me a seat on the train, yeah?” I said quickly, slamming the door before anyone could say another word. It was silent. Too silent. Suddenly all the girls ran back towards the letter and started to gush over it. Mary was pretending to be Sirius saying it aloud. Lily was pretending to be me falling madly in love with Sirius/Mary. Alice was pretending to be Teddy and rushed in between them. I sighed, sliding down the length of the door.

I watched him stumble around the room. He was throwing cupboards open viciously and when he found nothing in them, he would curse so loud I was sure he was going to wake up Mother. He slammed the cupboard door back in place and I was sure the door was going to split into two. Maybe Mother chose to ignore the racket like Teddy had. Teddy stopped coming down to watch Father after he and Mother got into a fight and Father stormed off, only to come back later piss drunk.

“Damn flabbit!” He cursed again, this time because he ran into a bar stool. He picked it up above his head and threw it across the room with so much force that I was afraid his arms were going to go flying with it. I cringed as it hit the refrigerator and a crack appeared in the front of it.

“Where’s all the bloody alcohol?!” Father shouted to no one in particular. His eyes scanned the room and I immediately cringed away from around the corner. “WHOSSTHERE?!”

I winced but peeked from around the corner. I was half expecting him to throw something at me, but something melted in his face when his heated eyes caught sight of his only daughter. His face softened away from the anger and he sighed, collapsing onto a kitchen chair. He placed his head in his hands and shook his head, more angry at himself than at me.

“How long have you been standing there, kid?” He mumbled. I barely understood him.

“Since you got home,” I answered him. He glanced up at me, studying my expression. I was terrified of my own father.

“Come sit,” He commanded, pulling a chair next to himself and patting it. I bounded across the room, hopping up with my seven year old legs.

“Are you gonna be okay?” I asked him as he put his arm around the back of my chair. He chuckled lightly and nodded.

“The alcohol wears off, sweetums. Don’t worry about Daddy,” He said. I shook my own head.

“I meant are you and Mum going to be okay?” I re-worded. Father froze, obviously thinking of an appropriate answer. He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Darling there’s something you need to understand,” He started, “I love your mother very much. Nothing could change that. People that you love make you feel the most powerful emotions. Sometimes they aren’t good emotions. Like the way I was acting tonight. Love makes you uncontrollable. You don’t know how you’re going to feel until it is right there.”

“I don’t think I want to be in love, Daddy,” I mumbled, resting my head on his big arm. He chuckled wrapping his arm around my shoulders and letting me rest my head against his chest.

“Don’t bother with it, honey. It’ll only bring you pain.”

I groaned as I flipped onto my stomach. Bugger off, dreams! Let me sleep! I have to go see my psychotic mother in less than five hours and you expect me to not kill her with such little amounts of sleep? She was the reason Father was in prison. Damn love. Who the bloody hell needs it anyways?

I pushed myself away from my cold pillow and wrapped a duvet around my shoulders. This was no use. It was too bloody cold in this room and Mary snores too bloody loud. I’d suffocate her if I had to spend another moment in this room. Thank Merlin it was my last year at Hogwarts. I’d turn the heat on every day in my house. Even in the summer. I’d be so thankful for heat it’s not even funny. I slipped my feet into the fuzziest slippers I could find (which happened to be Lily’s). I reached under my bed and tore all of the Sirius/L.C. letters from the mattress. No way was I leaving these here with the girls. Even if they were sleeping. I didn’t trust them.

Pulling the duvet over my shoulders tighter, I tip-toed out of the dormitory. The common room below was quiet and the only noise I heard was the crackling of the fireplace. Good. I didn’t want to run into any nosy first years or giggling third years. I wouldn’t even tolerate the fifth year fan girls. I just wanted to be left alone for once. I took two stairs at a time, finally ready to collapse and possibly fall asleep.

But Merlin has other plans for me, obviously.

Curled up like a puppy next to the fire was Sirius Black.

“What the bloody hell are you doing?” I hissed. Sirius nearly jumped straight out of his skin at the sound of his voice. His eyes were the size of quaffles when he found me in the darkness of the room.

“Me? What are you doing here?” He retorted. I rolled my eyes. I didn’t have time for games.

“Couldn’t sleep,” I mumbled. “You?”

“Same.” Sirius mumbled back. I nodded, taking the favorited love seat as my bed and sprawled out on it. Sirius was silent. He returned to staring into the fire, except this time he was sitting up. He didn’t say a word and neither did I. We sat in an odd, yet comforting silent. I felt myself finally drifting away to sleep.

“Crowley?” Sirius asked, snapping me away from sleep.

“Hmm?” I questioned, staring up at the tall ceiling.

“Do you believe in love?” He asked me in a soft voice. I felt myself falter. I thought of my father. I thought of the ball.

“I think that love does crazy things to people and maybe it’s just not worth it in the end,” I mumbled. Sirius turned towards me with a pained expression.

“Love is always worth it. The pain and the sorrow that comes with it is just there to remind you that there’s something there,” Sirius said. He then turned back towards the fire, his eyebrows furrowing together. “That something is worth fighting for.”

We sat in our own thoughts again, silence engulfing the room. The letters were heavy in my hand underneath the duvet. I don’t care how many times you say the word love, you will never know the meaning until you feel it. I looked at the top of Sirius’s head and my stomach tied itself into a tight knot. My heart nearly leapt out of my chest. My mind spun with so much that I wasn’t able to keep up with it all. Love. Is that what love is?

I crawled onto the ground next to Sirius. He smiled at me before staring back into the fire. I rested my head against his shoulder, letting him wrap a warm arm around me. I felt warm and safe. I felt like nothing could damage me or get at me. It was like Sirius was my own Protego charm, but ten times better. Maybe that’s what love is. Feeling the security of a Fidelius Charm. Maybe it’s that adrenalin pump you feel when you first ride a broom. Maybe it’s even that feeling you get when you look into someone’s eyes like I was and realize that the flaws you have known for so long don’t matter anymore. All that matters is them.

So that’s why I did it. That’s why I pressed my lips against his just like he had done to me the night of the ball. I put my hand on his neck. He didn’t react at first to the feeling of my lips on his, but once he did it was the ball all over again. The soft caress of his lips on my own was the best feeling in the world. My stomach flipped and my mind soared. His hand brushed my cheek and tangled itself in my hair, but it didn’t matter. He pulled me closer to him, turning the kiss into a full out snog.

I pulled away a few minutes later to catch my breath. Sirius was breathing heavily, his breath minty on my face. I couldn’t stop grinning. I felt the letters in my hand and I knew it would be all right if I showed him. He’d be all right with it all. I laughed a little, staring down into my lap. When I looked back up at Sirius, he had an expression I didn’t plan on seeing there. Confusion, but most of all sadness.

“That was a mistake, Lenny,” He whispered. I felt my whole body fall from cloud nine and smack down into reality.

“W-what? Why?” I asked pathetically. Sirius lightly pushed me off of his lap and onto the floor next to him. It didn’t make it hurt any less. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and then over his face.

“We can’t…we’re not-“ He tried, but nothing seemed to fit the key. I felt my heart sink into my stomach with every expression that crossed his face. “We just can’t do this, okay?”

No, it wasn’t okay. It was far from okay. I felt hurt, but more off I felt pissed. Where the hell were Lily and Mary and Marlene and Alice in a situation like this? Weren’t they the ones that told me he loved me? Weren’t the letters in my hand proof of that? He wasn’t expecting me. He was expecting some beautiful and talented girl to be his L.C. He wasn’t expecting boring old Lenny Crowley with two left feet and a mouth that never stopped going.

“You know what? Fine.” I hissed. I got up, the letters heavy in my hand. I threw them straight at him. “Take all your damned letters. Burn them for all I care! You don’t care who I am my arse!”

“What are you-“ Sirius started, but when he got a look at the letters his face immediately went pale. “Where’d you get these?”

“You’re joking me, right?” I let out a harsh laugh. “Lenny Crowley. L.C! How could you not see it?”

Sirius blinked down at the letters, his mouth gaped open. “I didn’t think…” He tried, but shook his head. He looked up at me, sorrow written on his face. “I’m sorry, Lenny.”

“Yeah…me too.” I whispered before turning and dashing up the staircase. And he didn’t even try to follow or make me stop.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The moment you have all been waiting for arrived! Didn't see that coming, did you? LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS! It's not over yet, though. Don't you fret! You will see more. We aren't through with Sirius and Lenny.

Chapter 24: Home not Home
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amazing chapter image by aconite. @ TDA!



“Lenora!” I heard the screech before I saw her. That was never good. That meant she would be sneak attacking me any moment now. I was bracing myself. That mother of mine was pretty sneaky, I’m telling you. She has been famous for jumping on me and us both crumbling to the ground.

“Hey Mum!” Teddy said, engulfing our mother in a large hug. Teddy was very obviously larger than our mum. Mum was only a few inches taller than me and probably a size or two smaller as well. I honestly don’t know how she did it. She ate like Teddy did.

“Hello loves! Oh I’ve missed you!” She said in her high pitched, cheery voice. It made my head ache. I loved Mum and all, but she was chipper at all the wrong times, honestly. She turned to me, her bright green eyes meeting mine. Immediately her smile widened as she stepped forward and wrapped her slim arms around me.

“Hello Mum,” I mumbled into her slick brown hair. She stepped back, her arms still on my arms as she looked me up and down.

”We need to stuff some food into you. You’re looking too thin,” She said, patting my cheek affectionately. Teddy snorted and elbowed me playfully. He was trying and that was all that mattered, I suppose. Christmas Break was going to be about my family. I wasn’t going to dwell.

“Lenny skinny? That’s a joke, right? Have you seen this girl eat?” Teddy asked, taking a hold of my trunk and dragging it behind him with his own. My stomach immediately turned at the sound of food. I hadn’t eaten at all today. I hadn’t been able to. I didn’t sleep the night before after my conversation with… you-know-who (no, I’m not talking about Voldemort). Everything seemed off balance. I barely would allow myself to think about it. If I did, my eyes began to water. I hated that feeling of being so weak and vulnerable.

I was Lenny Crowley. Nowhere in there did I see “weak” or “pathetic”.

“You two are going to love Becca. She’s really looking forward to meeting the two of you!” Mum said, wrapping her arm over my shoulders. I had no clue who Becca was and I was sure I wouldn’t like her. Mum was a Hufflepuff back in school, which meant so were her friends. I didn’t get along well with Hufflepuffs. I didn’t get along well with anyone, for that matter.

“I’m sure we will love her,” Teddy said with a false smile, shooting me a look that said otherwise.


I felt like I had pounds and pounds of floo powder up my nose. I could barely breathe. I lay on this stranger’s floor, my eyes shut tight, and coughing violently. I hate flooing. It has to be one of the worst ways to get around the wizarding world. Whomever invented it should probably be stoned to death or something along those lines. They must get a sick pleasure from watching people like me suffer.

“Len, you okay?” I heard Teddy ask. I peeked my eyes open to see Teddy standing over me.

“I’m fine,” I grumbled, getting to my feet and shoving his extended hand aside.

The living room was quite cozy. It was small, but held large plush furniture and even a few muggle artifacts. It looked like I had walked into one of those classical movies where I’d be asked if I wanted some tea, only to find out that all the tea was already gone. You’ve never seen that type of movie? Oh, maybe it is just me.

“You must be Lenny!” A woman with dark blonde hair and bright blue eyes said to me, coming forward and wrapping her arms around me without a second thought. This is why I hate Hufflepuffs.

“You must be Becca,” I told her as she released me. Her and Mum were just about the same size. I wouldn’t be surprised if they shared clothes.

“I’ve heard so much about you two,” Becca said, grinning at us both. “Not only from your mother, but from my son as well. I believe you two know him?”

I glanced at Teddy in confusion. To my best knowledge, I didn’t even know Becca was married, let alone had a son. I stared at her, studying her features. I recognized the hair from somewhere, but I couldn’t place a finger on it. Her round face seemed all too familiar as well. I just couldn’t seem to place a direct finger on who her son could possibly be.

“Remus?” Teddy asked. No, that couldn’t be right.

“Teddy? Lenny? What are you two doing here?” Remus’s voice asked. I turned to see Remus having just come out of the fireplace, a confused look on his face. Sure enough, same hair as Becca and the same face.

“I could ask you the same thing,” I retorted, feeling my stomach twist into a knot. Remus was connected to “you-know-who”. I didn’t like that. I didn’t want to have to think about him this break.

“I live here.” Remus said, giving me the common ‘loopy Lenny’ look. At least I’d feel a little bit more at home with that look.

“Don’t be rude, Lenora,” Mother scolded. I pursed my lips, but didn’t say anything.

“Remus, why don’t you bring the two up to the guest room and get them settled in, yes?” Becca said, smiling at her son. Remus nodded, gesturing for Teddy and I to follow him. I managed to drag myself into following behind him.

The house was very modest. It was obviously a two story with three bedrooms. Everything was decorated with the taste of an 80 year old, but it somehow added to the charm. It reminded me of the way Remus dressed every day. He didn’t have first class clothing. He wore modest, second hand robes. Most of the décor was of old looking flowers. The curtains were thick mustard colored. So maybe it didn’t all have taste.

Remus led us up the stairs in silence. This meant that Sirius had told all of the Marauders about what had occurred between us. I didn’t blame him. He was embarrassed beyond belief. He probably thought big mouth Lenny was going to go off and tell the whole world. He probably wanted to beat me to the punch. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone, but I think they got the just of it. Lily claimed to have found the letters in the morning when she got up, stacked in a neat pile outside of our dorm door. They were now in my trunk, a weight that I didn’t want there.

Remus pulled open the first door we came across once up the stairs. It was a simple room. Two twin beds, a small dresser and a vanity all organized neatly in the room. A window out looked the backyard. It was snowing lightly out. I wrapped my sweater tighter around me. I really do hate winter.

“How are you doing, Lenny?” Remus asked. I knew the hidden message in his words. I tried to force a grin on my face, but it probably looked like I was constipated.

“I’m fine, Remus,” I mumbled. Teddy threw his trunk at the bottom of the bed closest to the door. He flopped down on the bed, placing his arms behind his head.

“Thanks for letting us stay here, mate. Just don’t mention it to anyone,” Teddy said, a small smile given to Remus. Remus returned it, running a hand through his hair.

“’Course not. Won’t tell a soul,” he said. I nodded, moving into the room myself. I sat down lightly on the other bed, it squeaking under my weight.

“I’ll let you two get settled, then,” Remus said awkwardly, shutting the door behind him as he left. I sighed, the air in the room thick. I could tell Teddy wanted to say something. Anything that could fix what was so wrong with me.

“Look Len-“ He sighed, running a hand through his thick hair. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t stop you from being with someone that you really like. I can tell you like Sirius and he likes you. If you two want to be together….then you have my blessing.”

I felt a knot form in my throat. If this would’ve been a few days ago, then the blessing would have meant the world to me. After last night, nothing truly mattered. It didn’t matter that Teddy had punched Sirius in the face. I actually was very happy with my brother for that. I felt tears sting my eyes. I was glad Teddy wasn’t very observant. For a Ravenclaw, he could be pretty thick some times.

“It’s fine, Teddy. Don’t worry about it,” I said pathetically. He sat up, angling himself at me.

“No, it’s not fine. Lenny I’ve watched you change so much this year and it has scared me. You used to be my sister who I never had to worry about. Now you’re a woman and I realize that you don’t need my protection. You just need a brother and I’ve been lacking in that department.” Teddy switched beds, now sitting next to me. “You’re my twin sister, Lenny. Nothing can change that. Not some guy that I punch, not some girl that you don’t like, and definitely not some stupid Quidditch rivalry. I’m sorry about the last few months, Len. Forgive me?”

Teddy and I always had a special bond. We were more than just twin siblings. When I didn’t have someone by my side, I could always count on Teddy. Teddy was my confidant. Teddy was my best mate. Teddy was my Teddy. He saved me on countless occasions and always knew just what to say to make me smile. We were attached since birth and I don’t think the last few months could ever change that. I put my head on his shoulder.

“Of course I forgive you,” I mumbled. I could hear his smile as he wrapped his arm across my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. I grinned, finally feeling remotely calm.

“So tell me what Black did,” Teddy said. I felt the calmness seep away.

I jumped into everything. From the ball, to the letters, to him admitting he loved me, to the snogging, and then to the disappointment of a lifetime. It wasn’t so much that I had been hurt by what he said, it was the fact that I had set myself up so high. I was disappointed in myself. Black was Black. He would always get the girl. He had me. I was wrapped around his finger. I had let myself get that way. After years of watching him do it to girls, I had turned into one of them.

I was just as pathetic as Kathy Mae, the Hufflepuff bimbo who thought he never really broke up with her.

I wiped my eyes, unaware that I had been crying. Teddy had stayed silent the whole story, not saying a word. It was then that I realized his whole body had become stiff. I glanced up and he was glaring at the door as though he would Avada it. His fists were clenched so tight that his knuckles were white.

“Teddy?” I questioned weakly. He closed his eyes, shaking his head.

“I should kill him, Len. I really should.” He growled. My eyes widened at his words. “But I won’t. For you.”

I looked up at him and smiled. My Teddy was back.

There was a soft knock on the door. We both looked up as Mum peeked her head around the corner. She smiled at both of us, oblivious to the conversation we had just had. She walked in a bit, shutting the door behind her. She sat down opposite the two of us, staring down into her hands. You knew something was wrong when Mum didn’t have a large grin on her face.

“Children… we are going to go see your father. In Azkaban.” She said, finally looking up at us. Neither of us responded. This was… shocking to say the least.


I felt as though all life was being sucked out of me at this very minute. I felt dry, disgusting. I felt like my soul was floating above me while the rest of my body was moving forward. It was cold, even colder than it was outside. I didn’t like this one bit. It was dark and wet. The only light was a torch every ten kilometers. This wasn’t even where they kept the prisoners; this was where they allowed us to visit our father.

There were other prisoners around us, talking in soft tones to their loved ones. I shuffled nervously on the stone bench that had been available for us to all squeeze on to. Mum was to my right and Teddy was to my left. I think they did this on purpose so that I wouldn’t run. Like that would stop me.

Teddy placed his hand on my knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Mum was holding her breath next to me. The air in the room suddenly thickened. The door at the far end of the room opened and slowly my father walked through, followed by a dementor. At least I thought it was my father. His eyes nearly drooped to the floor. His hair was messier and greasier than I remembered. His stubble had grown into a full blown beard. He looked as though he hadn’t eaten since he came here. The uniform they gave him seemed to have countless blood stains on them. I hoped they weren’t all from him.

He looked up, scanning the room. Teddy gasped at the sight of him. Mum cast her eyes down. Me, I stared straight at him. His eyes locked with mine. The eyes I had gotten from him. He studied my face, his own too hard to read. Then as he reached the table, I saw a tear slide down his cheek. The chains on his hands prevented him from doing so, but I knew he would have reached over and stroked my face.

“I am so sorry,” He whispered to me, sitting down across from us. Mum cleared her throat, but Father didn’t look her way.

“You should be. You should be ashamed,” I hissed at him. He looked taken back, but he had expected it. Teddy stared at me in disbelief.

“Lenora Crowley-“ my mother started to scold but Father cut her off with a ice cold glare. At least I knew where I got my cruel side from.

“Don’t you look at her that way!” I growled. His eyes turned straight back towards me. He didn’t have a right to give Mum that look. He didn’t have a right to look at her. While she may have cheated, he committed the worst crime of leaving us. He killed someone. I would never understand the kind of person who could do that. I may never understand why my mother cheated, but leaving is inexcusable.

“Children…” Father said, looking between Teddy and myself. “I did it out of love. My love for the two of you. My love for your mother.”

He was pleading with us. Trying to get us to see his side. I didn’t want to have to see his side. I barely saw Mum’s. I stared at him, my face impassive. Teddy stared down into his lap. It was obvious from the beginning that Teddy had sided with Mum in all of this. I was Father’s last strand of hope. He looked at me, his eyes pleading with my own.

“Lenny, you’ve got to believe me. I would never do anything to hurt you, baby girl. You’re my sunshine. When the dementors come close, I think of you. I think of the nargle hunting we would be doing in a few days if I wasn’t here. I think of the years we have spent baking cookies until two in the morning.” I feel the tears sting at my eyes as I see my father is not ashamed of the ones flowing from his.

“Stop. Just stop.” I choked out. I shook my head at him. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t go down memory lane when I knew that he wasn’t going to be able to create any more with me. They’d all just be something to tuck away in the back of my mind. It didn’t matter anymore. He didn’t matter anymore.

That was when a dementor floated behind me, nearly touching me. I gasped as a cold breeze swept through me. I felt all emotion float away from me. All emotion but the depression that had been prominent over the last few days was gone. My father leapt to his feet, shoving me into Teddy and away from the dementor. The dementor reacted on instinct and dashed straight for Father. So did the other dozen that were in the room.
They all surrounded him in a matter of seconds.

“No!” I screamed, leaping to my feet. I saw a dementor far too close to my father’s face. I jumped right over the table, colliding with my father and bringing him to the ground. People were screaming, dashing for the nearest exit. I heard Mum shouting something inaudible. Teddy was trying to get someone to help. I looked up and suddenly it was just me and Father, surrounded by the dozen or so dementors. I was reminded of Sirius’s rejection. I was reminded of the times my father came home drunk. I was mostly reminded of how lonely I was.

That’s why I got up and found my way through the dementors, leaving my father in the middle. They didn’t care about me, they cared about him. He was the prisoner. He was the murderer. He wasn’t the father that I grew up knowing. I was going to leave him the way he left me. His eyes met mine through the throng of dementors. I shook my head at him.

“You’re dead to me.” I told him. I turned and went straight for the exit. Teddy’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. It wasn’t a Lenny move to do that. Mum stared at me in disbelief. I walked straight past both of them.

I lost the capability to be Lenny Crowley last night when the man I had fallen in love with told me we were a mistake.


I made it back to the Lupin home with tears streaming down my face. How stupid could Mother be to bring us there? Just because it was the holidays? She was thick. I wanted to scream and shout, but knowing this was not my home, I wouldn’t. Where were we supposed to go after Hogwarts ended? Mum surely wasn’t going to live here forever, was she? The Lupins weren’t going to be that generous to her.

I went to storm up the stairs when I saw Remus at the top. His eyes widened at the sight of the tears pouring from my eyes. He was frozen, unsure what to do. I climbed the stairs, still crying. Upon reaching Remus I wrapped my arms around him and sobbed into his knitted sweatshirt. I felt his body stiffen, but I didn’t care. I needed someone to comfort me. Even if it was Remus Lupin. Eventually he wrapped his arms around me and patted my back awkwardly.

“Shhh, it’s okay Lenny,” he mumbled into my hair.

“No, its not!” I sobbed harder. It wasn’t okay. I felt as though it would never be okay.

“Like Padfoot’s seconds, mate?” I heard a voice ask. I wiped at my eyes hastily and turned sharply to see James Potter standing in front of us, a large smirk on his face. Upon seeing my tears, his smirk immediately fell from his face.

“Prongs.” Remus said with a frustrated sigh. James’s face paled.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Lenny.” James mumbled. I felt panic rising in my chest. If there was Potter, Black was short to follow. I felt the knot in my throat loosen and the tears threaten to fall again.

“Screw you both!” I hissed, rushing past them and into the guest room Teddy and I were sharing. I couldn’t handle this. I felt like everything was collapsing in on itself.

Everything was crumbling. Everything was falling. I was falling. I was at a loss as to what to do. Life was so much simplier when I was Loony Lenny, not L.C.


Author's Note: So I'm sorry about the wait? Does that make any sense? No probably not. Anyways, this was really just a filler chapter and a bigger insight on the Crowleys. You had to see it, honestly. She needed time away from Sirius. You'll see him in the next chapter, don't worry. Like this sad Lenny? Should we get her happy again? Favorite quote? Favorite scene? Let me know what you think and your ideas!

Chapter 25: Into Sirius's Mind
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L.C. Lenny Crowley. Lenora Crowley. It just wasn’t clicking in my head. They couldn’t be the same person. They just couldn’t. They were two entirely different people. L.C. was charming, creative, beautiful, and walked to her own beat. Lenny was… well, I suppose Lenny was just like that. Actually, I sort of thought I had just described her right there instead of L.C. So maybe it wasn’t too far-fetched.


I still wasn’t willing to believe it, though.


I twirled my wand in my hand, small sparks falling from it, burning out before they reached anything. Figuring out who L.C. was had been my goal for the past few months. Now that I knew, I wish I could rewind it all. I didn’t want to know that it was Lenny. I didn’t want to know that it was anyone, honestly. I didn’t want to feel this way about someone who was real. I was used to thinking someone was attractive, sure, but not actually loving someone.


Who would have thought Sirius Black would fall for Lenny Crowley? I had spent years making fun of the way she dressed, the way she talked, even the way she walked. There was something always different about Lenny. She didn’t follow what everyone else did. She didn’t care if she looked funny or if she sounded strange. That was what made her so different. Hell, it was why I had made fun of her for all of those years. She was always an easy target.


Teddy Crowley, her twin brother, had forced her to join Quidditch our second year. Our third year when I was properly introduced to her, she had given me “the talk” about how she was born. That day was the day I had flagged her as weird. That was the day that I began to make fun of her. That was the day that my dislike for Lenny Crowley had grown. This year all of that had turned around rather quickly.


L.C. had come around. At first, she was just another challenge to me. She was another girl that thought she didn’t want me and couldn’t be charmed by me. I was going to prove her wrong. Along the way, things slowly had changed. So many things had happened. Remus had made me open up to Lenny. Lenny had done the same. We had an electrical bond that I wasn’t aware could ever happen. And something else was going on with L.C. She was becoming a figure. Sure, she didn’t have a face, but that wasn’t the part I had fallen for about her. It was everything else. The part I wasn’t willing to admit was that I was falling for Lenny at the same time.


The pathetic part? They were the same person.


I know, I still don’t believe it.


For some reason, I had always hoped that James would pop out of somewhere and tell me that L.C. wasn’t real. Tell me that he had made her up. Hell, I was willing to believe Regulus had made her up. It would make these feelings make more sense. They knew what type of girl I would fall for. It wasn’t going to be the perfect, model girl that giggled at all the right times and blew kisses at me across the classroom. It was going to be an independent, didn’t take the nonsense people dished on her, shockingly beautiful girl.


It was going to be someone like Lenny.


“Padfoot? Mate?” I heard James’s tentative voice from outside the bedroom door. They all were treating me like I was going to crumble into a mess any moment. I was fine. Men don’t crumble. James peeked his head around the corner of the doorway, staring intently at me. “We’re leaving for Moony’s place. You coming?”


“I’ll catch up.” I mumbled, staring up at the ceiling that I had become accustomed to over the last few years. James’s spare bedroom ceiling. Ever since I had ran away from Grimmwald place, this had been my home.


“You sure, mate? I can wait if you’d like,” James suggested. I felt my jaw clenched. I was a man and men didn’t need help!


“I’ll be fine, Padfoot.” I said through clenched teeth. He took that as his hint and left the room.


I got up and made my way towards my trunk across the room. Opening it, I dug through the contents and produced the L.C letters. Both versions. I thumbed through them, seeing the ink stains where I had strained for words. I saw the loops in her words as I was sure she had rushed through writing them. I saw her simple signatures. I saw my gradual increase of feelings through each page. I remembered the smiles I had when I had wrote them. I remembered staring at her letters for hours, trying to figure out who she was.


And she had been right in front of me the whole time.


The memories that took me over weren’t those of L.C; the memories were of Lenny. Playing Quidditch with her. Being partners in Potions. Dueling in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Laughing at James and Lily together. Fighting Bagman for her (more than once). Sitting next to her in the hospital. Dancing with her at the ball. Kissing her. Then snogging her in the Gryffindor common room. Finding those letters.


I set the letters back in my trunk gently as though they’d disappear if I wasn’t careful enough. Shutting my trunk, I collapsed back on the bed again. I needed the time that break was going to give me to just think by myself. James had already tried multiple times to try and break me out of my spell from bad-talking Lenny to trying to make me play far too much Quidditch. I didn’t want to think about Lenny. I couldn’t do it right now.


I stepped out of the fireplace, brushing the inevitable soot off of my jumper. Floo was one of the dirtiest forms of transportation. The dirtiest had to be the London Underground. That was repulsive. Last summer was the last time I let James take us on an “adventure”. Adventure my arse. More like suicide mission. I think he was trying to do just that. Evans hadn’t responded to his sixteenth owl that week.


“’Ello?” I shouted. Normally everyone was in the sitting room, waiting for everyone else to arrive. I didn’t get an answer. With a huff, I exited the sitting room, slinking my way up the Lupin stairs. I got to the top and heard Remus and James muttering angrily at one another.


“Did you have to say that, Prongs?” Remus huffed at him. James threw his arms up in the air in frustration.


“I didn’t seriously think she was crying! How was I supposed to know?” James countered. I approached them and Remus turned towards me, his eyes widening.


“Padfoot! Mate! What are you---err… come this way!” Remus squeaked. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and guided me away from the hall and back down the stairs.


“Wait, what? What’s going on?” I asked, stopping in my tracks. Even if Remus was a werewolf, he was stopped in his tracks at my movement. He glanced at James who looked around, panicked.


“Let’s go play Quidditch!” He said enthusiastically. I frowned at the both of them (though it wasn’t much of a change from the face I already had on).


“Who’s crying? Your mum?” I asked Remus. That’s when Teddy came rushing up the stairs, his hair disheveled as he glanced around at us.


“Lenny in there?” He asked simply, pointing to the door behind James. They both nodded. Teddy didn’t so much as acknowledge me as he rushed past them and disappeared into the spare bedroom. My jaw nearly smacked the floor.


Well, I didn’t see this happening during my break.


“That’s her crying in there?” I asked in disbelief. Remus nodded, the expression on his face pitying me. I immediately felt my body tense up. I didn’t need Remus’s pity.


”Her mum and my mum are friends. They go way back,” Remus tried to explain.


“Why is she crying?” I asked in a soft voice. I barely recognized it as my own.


“Mrs. Crowley took them to see Mr. Crowley in Azkaban today. She came back a wreck,” Remus told me. I immediately wanted to comfort her. I wanted to hold Lenny in my arms. I wanted to be that stable person for her. Ever since the Ravenclaw game, Lenny could barely trust Teddy, I was sure of it. I had been the last person she had trusted.


And I had ruined it.


“Maybe you should go talk to her, mate,” James suggested. I looked at him in disbelief. Not only because I couldn’t do that, but because he had never been supportive of L.C, let alone of Lenny. Those two butted heads in a way that Lenny and I hadn’t.


“She needs someone. Someone who isn’t her brother,” Remus added. I blinked at the two. Weren’t they marauders? Weren’t they always on my side? Mates my arse.


“No. That isn’t going to happen.” I said, shaking my head while not making eye contact with either of them. They had no idea how bad I wanted to do what they said, but I couldn’t.


“We’re going to go help mum with dinner,” Remus said. James looked ready to protest, but he was dragged quickly down the hall by Remus.

I stared at the door where Teddy had just disappeared behind. I could practically see Lenny’s shining brown hair flowing onto her shoulders. I could smell the coconut soap she used. I could feel her soft skin. I envisioned her small hands engulfed in my own large ones. I could see myself wiping the tears from her eyes. Before I knew what I was doing, my hand was raised to the door, almost knocking. I immediately pulled it down. She didn’t want to see me. I hurt her.


I ran my fork through the peas Mrs. Lupin had prepared. I wasn’t hungry. I haven’t ate in a few days. Nothing seemed to fix my appetite. Even Mrs. Lupin’s cooking (which came in second to Mrs. Potter’s cooking). James was devouring his meatloaf. Remus was watching me with careful eyes. Mr. Lupin flipped lazily through the Daily Prophet as he sipped his tea.


A woman walked through the door, sighing as she plopped down in the seat opposite James. I knew her immediately to be Lenny’s mother. She may have held most of Teddy’s features, but I could see the way she sat, the way her lips turned slightly when she saw everyone’s eyes fixed on her. She shook her head sadly and it matched the way Lenny shook her head as well. I cast my face down.

”She won’t budge.” Mrs. Crowley mumbled. Not even a few seconds after she had said that, Teddy slammed down the stairs, shoving the dining room door aside like nothing, and taking the seat across from me. He glared daggers straight away. I knew this wasn’t going to be pretty.


“Do you feel satisfied, Black?” He hissed at me. I immediately cringed. I wanted to tell him no, I felt worse than I’ve ever felt. Worse than when my parents used to use the unforgivables on me. Not that would change his mind.


“This isn’t the time or place, Ted.” Remus growled at him. Teddy just turned his glare towards Remus.


“You knew all along, didn’t you? You knew what Black would do to my sister! You knew he’d do what he does to everyone! You let her get hurt!” Teddy bellowed. All parents looked at one another in confusion. Remus’s face turned red.


“I-I didn’t…I thought-“ Remus stuttered, glancing at me. My heart sunk. He thought Lenny would change me. He thought I’d be different after her. I was. I wanted to tell him that. My lips wouldn’t open to protest Teddy. I deserved his fury.


“You thought wrong. He’s a Black. He’s no different than the rest,” Teddy directed his gaze towards me now. He was right. Hurting Lenny was the worst thing I could do. It meant I was a Black.


“Shut up, Teddy. I can fend for myself just fine, thanks.” I heard Lenny’s voice before I actually saw her. She was standing in the arched doorway behind me. Her hair was tied up and away from her face. Her eyes were puffy from crying, but she hid it well (probably splashed a bit of water on her face). She was wearing sweats and a fitted tee.


“Beautiful,” I found myself whispering to myself. She met my eyes and immediately we both froze. My breath caught in my throat. She didn’t move. She didn’t say anything.


“I didn’t think you were coming down, darling,” Mrs. Crowley said. Lenny tore her eyes away from mine and fixed them on her mom. Her lips turned down and I could see her jaw clench in anger.


“You thought wrong.” She said simply, placing herself in the seat next to Teddy. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her. No, it wasn’t like I was seeing her in a new light. She was always beautiful. Her school uniform, her Quidditch robes, or simply the sweats she was wearing were sufficient. Her Halloween costume had made me drool all over myself. Her ball gown had made her the most radiant person I have ever seen.


Maybe it just took me this long to realize what I had been hiding behind for a long while. I was in love with Lenny Crowley. I nearly choked on the water I attempted to drink to calm myself. I doubled over coughing, getting a rough pat on the back from James. I smacked his stomach to keep him from patting me. Once I had subsided my coughing, the room was silent. People weren’t looking up from their plates. Lenny was stirring her peas, just as I had.


I wanted to say something to her. Anything. I wanted to see her smile. I wanted to hear a witty remark come from her beautiful lips. I wanted to hear her laugh. But I didn’t say anything. I kept my lips shut and went back to stirring my own peas. Lenny was powerful and strong. She didn’t deserve to be treated like I had treated. She deserved to be put up on a pedestal. She deserved to be treated like a princess.


“James? Sirius? I’m sure you two won’t mind sleeping on the couches tonight, correct? Lenny and Teddy have the spare bedroom.” Mrs. Lupin tried to break the thick air that had been forming.


“Of course not, Mrs. Lupin! We’d be delighted, actually.” James forced a too cheerful response. Teddy snorted into his pumpkin juice he was raising to his lips. Lenny gave him a very noticeable kick under the table and a telling look. I couldn’t help but let a small smile scratch at the surface. How could I not see my love for this girl earlier?


I never thought I would listen to the advice of James Potter. He could be dumber than Xeno Lovegood sometimes. Sure, he was brilliant with a wand and on a broom, but when it came to women advice…well…he did chase after the same woman for seven years after all. But I stared at myself in the mirror. I could do this. I could explain it all to Lenny. I would explain it all and then everything would be fine.


But then what? Did I expect to ride off into the sunset with her?


Bollucks. Maybe I couldn’t do this.


“Whoever’s in the bloody bathroom, get out! I have been waiting for ten minutes! I believe that is plenty of time to-“ Lenny’s voice rang. I cut her off by swinging the door open. Words stop coming out of her mouth, but it still hung open. She blinked a few times, frozen on the spot.


“I need to talk to you.” I tried. She closed her mouth, but was still unable to move. I quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her into the bathroom, shutting the door behind.


“This is like kidnap!” Lenny hissed at me. Well, at least she was talking to me. That was more than I expected.


“You’re still in the same house. I just put you in a different room. All’s fair.” I told her. She crossed her arms defiantly. The large bags under her eyes made me feel incredibly guilty. Her hair wasn’t as shiny as it normally was. Her skin didn’t look as smooth as I expected it to be. She was a broken version of Lenny. And I was the cause of it.


“What the bloody hell do you want, Black?” She asked me. Her voice even sounded defeated.


“I…” What did I want? What was my goal in dragging her in here? To make her see why I did what I did? I broke her heart. I made her this crumbled mess. No matter what I did, nothing could fix that. “I figured you could use this. It’s helped me the last couple days.”

I handed her a bottle of the relaxation potion I had been taking and quickly dashed from the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me as quick as possible. I could charm the pants off of a veela, I could date ten girls at once, I could get caught dating all those girls, and still end up with a girl. But I could not buck up the courage to win Lenny Crowley back.


“Padfoot?” I heard James whisper into the darkness that was the Lupin’s den. I ignored James. Maybe he would think I’m sleeping. I could see out of the corner of my eye that he sat up on the couch he was stretched out on. “Padfoot?”

”What?” I hissed at him.


“What’re you going to do?” He asked me. I sat up now. I was used to James saying some weird stuff, but it always tended to make sense.


“What the bloody hell are you talking about?” I asked him back. James cocked his head to the side.


“About Lenny. What are you going to do about Lenny?” James clarified. I furrowed my eyebrows at him, though he probably couldn’t see that. The only light was the moon (which was almost full, by the way).


“Since when have you cared about Lenny and what I do about that situation?” I asked him. He leaned slightly back.


“Since I realized how madly in love with her you were.” James answered me. I felt my face flush and was very grateful that he could not see the beat red it had become.


“Mate, I don’t love-“


“Yes, you do. You’ve never moped like this for any other girl. Sure, you’ve acted like a prick because they beat you to the punch of breaking up with you, but you’ve never…moped,” James explained. I felt my face growing hotter by the minute. I’m a man! Men don’t mope!


“I’m not going to do anything. It’s all…complicated.” That was the best way I could explain it. Complicated. Like when you’re killing another team in Quidditch, but you’re only up by 140 points. Then suddenly, the other teams seeker catches the snitch and you lose. Then you have to explain it to your bint of a girlfriend how you lost and she still doesn’t understand why.


It’s a bit of an overkill, but I’m sure you understand what I mean.


“Please, you and Crowley are the definition of complicated. Once you get over that, let me know what you are planning on doing. I’m always in for a good adventure.” James sighed, rolling over.


I waited until I could hear his obnoxious snores before I swung my legs off the couch and tip-toed towards James’s trunk in the far corner of the room. I quietly dug through it until I came up with a piece of parchment, a quill, and a bottle of ink. I lit a candle at the far end of the room to make sure James would not be woken by me.


I did need a plan of action. I did need Lenny in my life. As much as I hate to admit it, I was wrong. I was wrong for calling her names and making fun of her all these years. I was wrong for pushing her away the last few months. I was wrong for telling her we couldn’t be together. But I was going to make up for it. I’ll be damned if I lose this girl. I started to quickly scratch a long, extensive list of things I would have to do to get her back.


Romeo and Juliet? No. It’s a Sirius and Lenny love story now. I’d make sure of it.

Author's Note: Long, long, long wait, I know! Yell at me later for that. That is if you are still reading this after such a long wait I put you through. Did you like going into Sirius's mind? Did you like the switched POV? Should I do it more often? 

Anyways, my break from writing is over and I'm very much ready to jump back in the saddle. Be ready, HPFF. I'm back! 

Chapter 26: Attempts and Fails to Cheer Lenny Up
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I really wasn’t sure how much longer I could do this. What the bloody hell was Mom thinking taking us here? Why couldn’t we have been homeless? I’d be a good homeless person. Empty. Soulless. A large desire to drink themselves into a stupor. Not that I’m stereotyping homeless people. It’s just how I feel.

I watched as snowflakes fell from the sky and danced to the ground. In a weird way, it was peaceful to watch. I may dislike the snow, but it had a certain grace that I didn’t have. Though let’s be honest, I don’t have any type of grace to begin with. My forehead was pressed against the freezing ice cold window, but I didn’t move. I felt numb.

I am not throwing myself a pity party. I am not that pathetic. But what I have noticed lately is that everything seems to fall apart at once. You can never just have a few rain drops; it always has to be a storm. I felt like I was in the middle of a tsunami for Merlin’s sake.

First it was my father. Don’t get me wrong, he deserves to be where he is, but he is a god man. He was so passionate and loving and sometimes a bit of a drunk, but he was good. Yet right now I felt the opposite about him. He caused my family to be broken. He caused us to be without a home. He made us fall apart.

Then there was Teddy. We had always been so close. We acted like twins more than twins probably should. He used to be my best friend. Then something changed. He changed. He was barely my brother anymore. I mean, he nearly killed me! He wasn’t’ my best friend anymore.

Then, just like everyone knew I was going to say, there’s Sirius. I don’t think I’ll ever understand him. I’ll never understand why I was put through this. I knew better. I knew what Sirius was like. I knew I shouldn’t have thrown myself into that horrible situation. I wasn’t going to. It wasn’t the plan. But somewhere along the way, I fell for a man. A man behind a quill and a piece of parchment.

I blamed myself more than I blamed Sirius for all of this.

“Lenny?” I heard the delicate for of Lily in the doorway. I didn’t pull my head off the glass. In all honesty, I was pretty sure it was frozen there. I grunted a greeting that sounded a lot like a frustrated hippogriff.

She sat down next to me, crossing her legs as she looked out on the snow. I know she was trying to be sympathetic, but it was very annoying. I wasn’t a glass doll that you had to be gentle with or it would break. I was Lenny Crowley! I was the girl that got into fights with Slytherins. I was the girl that ignored millions of whispers that were heard every day. I was stronger than Lily was giving me credit for. I was stronger than what everyone was giving me credit for.

“I was thinking you and I should do something. Just us girls.” Lily said. I rolled my head to the side, peeling my face away from the window.

“Like what?” I said. Hell, even my voice sounded numb. I was preparing to say no and hse knew it. Her eyes darted around the room, trying to come up with something.

“We could go shopping!” Wait no-you’re not Mary…We could go make a snowman! Wait darn it…Alice likes that…” I saw her eyes droop. “I’ve never had to cheer you up before. I don’t know what to do, Len.”

“Neither do I, Lils.” I whispered pathetically. I never honestly needed cheering up. I was always cheerful. People would cut me down and I could still smile at them. I had the mentality of in one ear and out the other.

Except for this time. This time hurt a little more than someone asking me why I wasn’t in the loony bin. This time it felt real.

“I’m going to paint your toe nails!” Lily proclaimed, quickly getting up and dashing from the room. I sighed, placing my head back on the window.

I really hope it freezes there.

I knew this therapy session wasn’t for me. It was for Lily. She was at a loss as to how to help me. We hadn’t been friends for long, even if we’ve been sharing a dorm for the past 6 years. I don’t mean to say we were strangers by any means. I remember in our fourth year, Lily had helped me get the gum out of my hair after Sirius had thrown it in there during Transfiguration. So maybe there was always a special bond between Lily and I. From first year when I told her I didn’t feel the need to have friends to watching her ogle over my L.C letters. Somewhere along those lines Lily and I had grown very close.

She came back in, holding a scarlet nail polish in her hand and a large grin on her face. I grimaced slightly. I wasn’t going to fight it. If Lily wanted to paint my nails, then I’d let her. She grabbed my foot and swung it into her lap and began painting away. We didn’t’ say a word. She barely looked up from my foot as the sparkle in her emerald eyes grew brighter. I knew she was enjoying herself so I didn’t stop her.

“Don’t you just love this color?” She asked me. I think she forgot who I was for a second. I faked a smile and nodded my head. Lily accepted it, looking back down at my foot again. She seemed so content that I didn’t want to stop her.

“So Marlene owled me. Asked me if we wanted to go sledding with her today. I told her no. You don’t like the snow, right?” Lily asked me.

“You’re right, I do not.” I mumbled. I put my head on my knee and watched with mild fascination. I didn’t understand how she could not paint all over my foot. My hands weren’t that steady.

“They were going to come here for Christmas morning, but they all got tied up in something. Mary is in Peru. Marlene is afraid to see Teddy. Alice’s family won’t let her go.” Lily rambled.

“Why is Marlene afraid to see Teddy?” I asked. Maybe Lily could keep me interested. It could be possible that the nail painting was making me crazy.

“They did some heavy snogging at the ball. Marlene apparently really likes him and doesn’t want to ruin anything that could happen. Thinks that if they saw each other for Christmas, that it would be rushing things.” Lily faked a Marlene voice. She almost got me to smile.

“Teddy didn’t tell me that.” I mumbled into my knee. Lily’s face slightly fell.

“Does he normally talk to you about girls?” Lily asked.

“Yes.” I said simply. Lily didn’t have a response. She finished my left foot and shifted to my right, pausing for a moment.

“I think I should paint every other toe gold. What do you think?” Lily asked me.

“I think the fumes are going to make me pass out.” I stated honestly. Lily sighed, capping the nail polish.

“So maybe this wasn’t a good idea.” She said, placing the bottle to the side. It really wasn’t, but I wasn’t going to be the one to say that. Then her face suddenly lit up.

“I’ve got a fantastic idea! Come on!” She nearly shrieked, jumping to her feet and pulling me with her before I had a chance to catch myself. I fell smack on the ground, laying in an awkward heap.

“I’m sorry!” Lily gasped. I waved her off. Out of all the changes I’ve made, I wish the clumsiness would have went away.

The Lupins’ basement reminded me of the dungeons at school. Everything was made of stone, it was damp, and cold. There were small torches hanging from the wall, magically lit with the tip of Lily’s. Except the eeriness of the basement wasn’t what was the weirdest thing. The weirdest thing was the way Lily was dressed. She was wearing a safari hat, carrying an oversized net, wearing a large, grey knitted sweater, and had on ugly brown boots. Trust me, if I am saying they are ugly, they are hideous. Lily narrowed her eyes, peering into the deepest, darkest corners. I watched her with a curiously raised eyebrow.

“What exactly are you doing, Lily?” I asked her. She gestured for me to be quiet.

“We’re hunting nargles.” She whispered. I nearly choked on my own spit. I seriously almost died right then and there.

“Lily, do you even know how to hunt nargles?” I asked her. I saw a blush creep up the back of her neck.

“Am I not doing it right?” She asked skeptically, holding out her net to me. I sighed, rolling my eyes as I took it away from her.

“Well first off, you won’t find nargles in a basement.” I took her hat off of her. She just looked silly. Which is saying a lot coming from me. I put her safari hat on me. Now that probably looked pretty sweet. “Second, you won’t find them other than on Christmas morning. That’s the only time you can see them. Otherwise they hide in mistletoes and try to steal your things.”

Lily scratched the side of her head. She was trying and I knew she was. That’s what mattered here. I tossed her net from one hand to the other. I had to think of something to make it seem like her efforts weren’t pointless (even if they sort of were). I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I knew she didn’t believe in any of the things I did. This is what made her a good friend, though. She was willing to go nargle hunting with me in a strange basement.

“We could always hunt for moon frogs. Those are pretty easy to find I hear.” I tried. Her face lit up.

“Yes! Let’s!” She proclaimed.

Oh joy.

I opened the fridge. Why does it seem that whenever you’re remotely hungry, nothing seems good enough? No, I didn’t want the left over squash from last night. No, I didn’t want the blueberry pie piece that was left. I closed the fridge. Then I opened it. Hell with it, I want the pie. Who could possibly turn down the deliciousness of a blueberry pie? Now squash, that was easy to turn down. Turning down pie was like turning down a hungry, starving puppy on Christmas day. Who has such a soulless heart?

I grabbed the pie, which was a large piece, much to my delight. When I closed the door and Teddy was on the other side of it, I nearly jumped straight out of my slippers. The pie stayed in my hand, however. That was the most important thing. You always save the pie. If you’re falling off a cliff, save the pie. If you are nearly scared straight out of your jumper, save the pie. It’s a life rule, really.

“What in the bloody hell was that for?!” I nearly shrieked. Teddy lifted one of his eyebrows at me.

“What do you mean?” He asked. I sighed, reaching around him into the drawer that had the silverware and taking out a fork. I poked him gently in the chest with it.

“Scare the crazy right out of me!” I told him. He chuckled to himself. I walked towards the counter, pulling myself onto it as I began to eat my pie. Nothing beats pie.

“Well, I’d hope that’d be a good thing. Get you a little more sane and all…” Teddy carried out. I ignored his comment and took another bite of my pie. Teddy Crowley wasn’t ruining my pie with his snarky comments.

“What do you want?” I mumbled into another bite.

“You.” He said simply.

“That’s gross. I’m your sister.”

“Not in that way, you dolt.” Teddy said, stealing my fork and the pie chunk I was about to eat. I didn’t protest. No point. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“About?” I questioned, though I knew the answer. Why did it seem like today was the day to try and get me out of my funk? I never had a funk. I wasn’t sure I even knew what a funk was.

“Lenny, let’s not play about, yeah? I know you’re upset. With everything, actually. You’re upset with Mum, you’re upset about Father, and the whole Black thing isn’t helping any either…” I wanted to smack Teddy as hard as I could. He couldn’t pretend to know what was going on in my head. He wasn’t in it. He wouldn’t understand the pain all of it caused me.

“I’m fine.” I said through clenched teeth.

“See, that’s how I know you’re not. I’m your twin brother, for Merlin’s sake. I know when something’s wrong with you. We’ve always had a special connection, Lenny.” Teddy told me.

We used to have a special connection. Teddy used to be my best friend. I used to be able to tell Teddy anything. He was my confidant. He was the one person I relied on. When anything was going bad, Teddy was always right there to make it better. He was my knight in shining armor. He was my Teddy. He was always all mine. Until this year. Things had changed this year. He wasn’t my Teddy anymore. We used to have a special connection. We didn’t anymore.

“Don’t fool yourself, Teddy.” I mumbled, taking the last bite of my pie and jumping off the counter. I began to wash the plate in the sink, slowly and taking my time so I didn’t have to turn towards Teddy.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Teddy said. I heard the defensiveness in his voice. I sighed, setting the plate and fork in the opposite sink to dry. I turned slowly towards him. His arms were crossed.

“It means our connection is gone.” I said dully. He looked like someone had slapped him. It was kind of like I had. A moment passed in silence where Teddy was just staring at me. He was staring at me like I was a stranger. I guess I was.

“Don’t say that, Len.” Teddy whispered. I could hear the knot in his throat constricting on him.

“Don’t pretend it isn’t true, Teddy. This year has pushed us apart. We aren’t the same Crowley combo we used to be. We’re just…different.” I tried to explain. I felt my own knot tightening in my throat.

“We’re still the Crowley combo. We’re still twins. We’re still family. Nothing can ever change that.” Teddy stated defensively.

“Trying to kill me can change a lot. Ignoring me when I need you the most can change things too. Oh yeah, did I forget about how you snogged one of my close friends and didn’t find it necessary to tell me? I may have changed a bit, but you’ve changed a lot.” I felt my voice rise. Teddy’s lower jaw visably clenched. Teddy and I never fought. Ever.

“You’ve been too wrapped up in your new self-image to give a rat’s ass about me! All you cared about for the past four months was your stupid L.C letters! Look where that landed you. I told you to stay away from him and you didn’t listen to me. It’s not my fault you’re moping around because of it.” Teddy nearly yelled back at me. I felt taken back.

“I am not moping about because of Sirius bloody Black! I am moping about-- though I don’t think I’m doing that—because everything falls apart at once! Our whole family is in shams, Teddy! You and me, Mom and dad…Nothings right. Nothing can fix it. I would love to hear your solution to that, Theodore. If you have any ideas, feel free to shout them out at any moment!” I yelled. He was silent. “That’s what I thought. So if you don’t mind, I am going to go about my own business and let you do yours. Excuse me!”

I shoved past him and out of the kitchen. When I reached the staircase, it felt like I was out of breath. I grabbed onto the railing and felt my head rush with adrenalin. Teddy and I rarely fought like that. We rarely fought over anything serious. Maybe we were being torn apart. I felt so helpless. Like there was nothing that I could do. I flopped down onto the bottom staircase and held my head in my hands. I wanted to cry, but for some reason I felt like I was dried up. I was out of tears. There wasn’t much left to cry about, honestly.

“Lenny? You alright?” I heard Remus’s voice as his heavy footsteps came down the stairs. He sank into the stair next to me. I sighed, looking up at him.

“I just don’t want people to try to make me feel better anymore. I’m fine. I don’t need anyone’s help.” I hissed. Remus didn’t look taken back by my words. It sort of looked like he understood.

“I’ve felt like that before. It’s like people are looking at you in pity. They tip-toe around you. They think that if they say the wrong thing, it might be taken wrong and you might break into a million pieces or something. The only reason you get so angry is because everyone thinks you’re a delicate little doll that is going to break with the wrong look.” Remus was staring off at the opposite wall. I felt like he knew me more than I thought. “You’re stronger than you think.”

“Am I? I sure don’t feel like it.” I mumbled, sighing as I played with a loose string on my sweatshirt.

“Of course you are. You’re the girl who broke her arse and lived to tell the tale. I don’t think many people could not have cried in front of the whole Great Hall.” Remus joked, elbowing me lightly. It made me smile slightly. Just slightly, but it was better than the no smiling I had become accustomed to.

“Let’s go for a walk, Crowley.” Remus said, getting to his feet and pulling me up with him. For a 17 year old guy, he was surprisingly strong.

“I don’t like the snow.” I protested.

“You’ll learn to like it today,” Remus said in a no-nonsense voice.

I pulled my jumper tighter around me. Bloody hell I hate snow and the cold it brought along with it. Did Remus not get that? This was just horrible, horrible conditions. I was completely bundled up and I still was shaking. Remus was walking with a think jumper and a scarf. That was it. I wanted to smack him upside the head. I don’t know what Remus’s idea of a good time is, but this was definitely not it for me. No sir-ee. Stick me by a warm fire any time now, Remus.

“When I was younger, I used to play in that field over there all the time,” Remus said, pointing off passed a large red barn. “I didn’t have siblings or anything to play with, so a lot of the times I found myself playing with the animals. You see, there aren’t a lot of children around here. Most of the families are much older than us. I had made friends with this small little rabbit. I would bring a carrot out to it every other day and it would sit right in front of me and eat the carrot. Sometimes I’d have to bring other assorted vegetables to get it to stay and listen to me talk. I was a bit of a nutter back then.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked bluntly.

“Because one day, the rabbit bit my finger. I felt like I had lost all the trust in the world for it. In truth, Mum hadn’t any vegetables and I tried to feed it a cookie. I left that field feeling so disheartened and broken to bits. Then a few weeks later, I went back to the field, just to see if the rabbit was there. Just was curious. To my surprise, it was there. It was waiting for me. I didn’t have anything to feed it, but it sat there and listened to me talk.” Remus saw the confused expression on my face and sighed, stopping by the snow covered bench beneath one of the trees in his backyard. “The reason I’m telling you this, Lenny, is because you need to understand that the rabbit made a mistake. Everyone does. It didn’t mean that the rabbit didn’t care about me or that we hadn’t had a connection. It just got caught up in the moment. In time, I went back and there was an unspoken forgiveness there.”

“So…wait. Am I the rabbit or you in this story?” I asked. A small smile tugged at Remus’s lips.

“You’re me.” He stated.

“And who’s the rabbit, then?” I asked.

“Whoever you want it to be.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Who is it supposed to be?” I tried again. Remus shrugged nonchalantly at me, staring out into the field. I sighed,  sitting down on the bench. Remus followed suit.

“You’ll understand what I mean.” Remus said. I glanced at him and huffed.

“I have no bloody clue what your story meant, Remus.” I told him. He smiled knowingly.

“But you will.” He nodded back towards the field. I looked off at what he was looking at. Jumping in the field were five rabbits. A large one led the four smaller bunnies across it. It stopped for a moment, sniffed the air and then glanced at us. Remus blinked a couple times, then smiled. The rabbit got up on its hind legs and sniffed again. It was like it was its own greeting towards Remus. Yet seconds later it got down and hopped away, the bunnies following in tow.

“You’re always going to have that one rabbit, Lenny.” Remus said cryptically.

I was about to tell Remus I still didn’t understand what the bloody hell he was talking about when I felt something cold and hard hit the side of my face. I made a very unlady-like “hmph!” noise and my head snapped to the side. I took off my mitten and felt my face. Snow. I felt a burn on my cheek and knew there’d be a pretty little mark there when I went inside. I was about to yell, to shout, to do anything when Remus grabbed my arm and pulled me up and behind a tree.

“Snow ball fight!” Remus read my mind, answering my question before I could ask it. I groaned. Bloody hell, no. I hated everything snow. Who thought it would be okay to start this war?

“Ohhhh Moony? I know you’re hiding pretty little Crowley. Don’t think I won’t find the both of you…” I heard Potter’s voice echo through the yard. I cringed, sinking down into the ground.

“Bloody hell, what are we going to do?” I whispered. Remus bent down and immediately began to make snowballs.

“You’re a chaser. You know exactly what to do.” Remus commented, placing two snowballs in each hand. I stared at them dumbfounded.

“But I just want to run for it. Can’t we do that?” I asked helplessly. Remus peeked around the corner of the tree and quickly darted his head back.

“Nope. We’re outnumbered. No running shall be done. We fight.” Remus said. Standing up with about a dozen snowballs tucked in his left arm and his right holding one.

I took my turn to peek around the corner. He was right, we were outnumbered. James was juggling a snowball in his hand, sneakily peeking behind every tree he passed. Lily was giggling, skipping behind him like a snow nymph. Teddy was sulking a bit behind, but still holding a few snowballs in his hands. Not very much further behind Teddy was Sirius, looking devilishly good looking with his fitted jumper. Bloody hell, that boy could look good in anything.

“There they are!” James shouted, pointing straight at me. Bollucks. I saw the snowballs headed straight in my direction. There had to have been millions being launched towards me. I shrieked, pulling my head back behind the tree just in time to avoid the bombardment.

“Are you ready, Crowley?” Remus asked me. I guess I didn’t have a choice. I got to my feet and before I could react, Remus had already charged out with a whooping war cry. I groaned, following suit as I leaped out from behind the tree.

James was the first person I saw. My first snowball hit him square in the face. Wasn’t he my captain? Wasn’t he supposed to be able to dodge easily? My second snowball went straight for Lily as she tried (and failed) to hit me with her own weakily thrown snowball. She had come up a few feet short. Mine hit her straight in the chest. I slunk into hiding behind a tree, preparing my next few snowballs for fire.

“What is she, a super ninja or something?!” I heard Potter protest as he threw a snowball in my vicinity. I peeked from behind my tree to see Lily grin devilishly, then launch a snowball at the back of Sirius’s head.

“All for themselves!” Lily shouted. It didn’t take long for her then to shove a handful of snow down Potter’s back. He shrieked like a girl as Lily ran in the opposite direction. I took that as my opportunity to come out of hiding.

I packed my hands full of snowballs. I wasn’t going down without a fight. I was a fighter, damn it. I went around the opposite side of the tree, only to get knocked straight back on my bottom, someone falling right after me on top of me. My snowballs went straight back into my face and my hair went along with it. This would not be a loss! I brushed off the snow and my breath was quickly caught in my throat. Laying on top of me was Sirius, staring at me with a dumbstruck expression. 

Neither of us said anything for what felt like a long while. He stayed there, bracing his own weight on either arms, but oddly still very close to me. I could smell his minty breath. I could see the specks of blue in his deep grey eyes. I could count the very few freckles he had dotting his nose. I could feel his heart pounding against mine. They were almost going the same, adrenalin-crushing speed. I could feel the heat radiating from beneath his jumper. It didn’t matter how cold the snow now on the nape of my neck felt. I was incredibly hot right now.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ he started, but my own nervous ramble attempted to cover up his.

“I just didn’t see you-“

We both stopped ourselves from talking. There was a certain, undeniable spark between us at that moment. Was his face getting closer to mine, or did I maybe hit my head a little bit too hard? I could practically taste his lightly balmed lips on my own. I swear, he was centimeters away at this point. Why wasn’t I stopping him? Why were we allowing this to happen? I closed my eyes, awaiting the inevitable.

Then suddenly, his weight was gone and I was left cold again. I opened my eyes and glanced over to see James had tackled Sirius and was shoving snow in his face, cackling like a maniac. Before I knew what was happening, Lily was on top of me, shoving snow down the front of my shirt. I shrieked, but she didn’t budge. Soon, I found myself laughing at her antics as I then took control and started shoving snow down her jumper.

Maybe Christmas at the Lupins wouldn’t be so bad afterall.


Author's note: So this may have taken longer than we all anticipated, but here it is! As we are nearing an end to this story, I just wanted to thank you all who have stuck through it with me. I went back and read how horrible I used to be and wonder how I got some of you so hooked in the first place. This one is for all of you who have a bit of Lenny in you. This one is for the people who believe in magic. Personally, I think we all have to believe in magic to get by.



Chapter 27: Christmas Eve
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“What do you think of this?” Lily asked, holding up a pink cardigan. I wanted to snort at her. I may not be a fashion guru, but I knew that Lily Evans should never wear that cardigan.

“Not even I wear that.” I stated. She frowned, returning the cardigan to the rack. She bent down and picked up the numerous shopping totes she was carrying. I shifted the ones in my arms.

It was Christmas Eve, the last possible day you could purchase presents. One could be sure that I had the tradition of doing shopping on this exact day. Normally it was Teddy and I who would go together, but somehow Lily had convinced Teddy to stay at the Lupin’s. It was probably a good idea; I wasn’t quite in good standing with Teddy at the moment. I wasn’t sure if we ever would.  Lily was always welcome company.

“I don’t understand why we need outfits to eat a bloody dinner.” I grumbled, watching as Lily held up more dressy shirts in front of her body.

Mr. and Mrs. Lupin would be gone tonight. They had some work party to go to. Mum was going along with them. Lily was leaving tonight to go back to her own house, but was able to stretch the homecoming until later in the evening. Since all of the teenagers had the house to themselves, they had decided (without my input) that they would be exchanging gifts and having a dinner together. I thought it was a stupid idea. Everyone else apparently thought it was brilliant.

“It’s our own little formal dinner, Lenny. Wouldn’t hurt to look nice.” Lily explained. She sighed, placing another sweater on the rack. “I’ve got a few nice things packed.”

I rolled my eyes at her, following her out of the shop. Diagon Alley was bustling with people. The streets were so packed that I contemplated actually taking off my jumper and throwing it at the nearest person. Let’s be honest, it wouldn’t be Christmas without at least one fist fight in Diagon Alley. People used to fight over the last toy broomstick in stock or the last designer shoes for their child. I suppose I’ll never quite understand the human race. Let along the magical people who are a part of that.

“You got everything, yes?” Lily asked me, glancing at the numerous bags in my hands. I mentally checked off all the people I was forced to buy presents for.

“Yes.” I told her. She raised her eyebrows at me.

“Even Sirius?” She questioned. I pursed my lips. I didn’t want to buy a present for him. I didn’t want to even be in the same house as him. It was torture. I hated having to look across him at the dinner table. I hated having to smell his cologne when I went to the loo. I wanted to hate him.

 But I couldn’t.

“Lily, if the nargles come and take you away tonight, I will not feel sorry.” I hissed, stomping like a child into the nearest shop that claimed to be the “one stop shop for Christmas presents”.

“I tried to help you catch them so they wouldn’t do that. It’ll be your entire fault. You get to be the one to break the news to James.” Lily turned her nose up as I held up a Slytherin-colored sweatshirt for approval.

“I would gladly. You know how I like to ruin his life!”

“Now that we are officially going together, you are going to have to learn to be at least polite to him, Lenny.” Lily lectured.

“Poor bloke doesn’t know what he has gotten himself into, does he?” I snorted, receiving a nasty look from Lily.  

“You watch yourself, love. If I die at the hands of nargles, I will come back from the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life.” Lily threatened.

I was honestly very afraid after her threat. Nargles, leave her alone tonight. A ghost Lily Evans was scarier than the Bloody Baron after pissed Gryffindors woke him up from his ghostly slumber.

Do ghosts even sleep? The Blood Baron probably does. He needs to be able to torture the other ghosts and all.

“How about you give him some chocolates? No one can go wrong with chocolates.” Lily said, popping a pumpkin pasty into her mouth.

I was about to agree with her until something caught my eye at the end of the store. It was tucked in the corner, almost like the store owner didn’t want me to find it. I smiled at Lily, rushing over to the present and yanking it off the shelf. She turned towards me and eyed the object in my hand suspiciously.

“No, I’ve found Black’s present.” I told her.


I grumbled angrily, standing against the spare bedroom door. I’m not gullible and I don’t cave into things very easily. I don’t like to dress up, but somehow I broke every Lenny rule in the book. Somehow all the women in the Lupin household had squeezed me into a deep purple turtle neck sweater with dark jumpers to boot. Thank Merlin I was allowed to wear knitted stockings and didn’t have to wear those bloody heels I had to wear to the ball. I might stab someone’s toes straight off of their feet.

“This is bloody ridiculous!” I hissed as Mum wrapped her shawl tighter around her, pursing her lips as her deep red lipstick wrinkled with her lips. Satisfied, she turned towards me and sighed.

“You look lovely, my dear.” She said, coming towards me and tucking a piece of stray hair behind my ear.

“I look like a plum.” I groaned.

“You look like….” She paused. I saw the tears swelling in her eyes. “a beautiful young woman.”

“Don’t cry, Mum.” I whined. She immediately turned away from me to hide her tearful eyes.

“I can’t be proud of my daughter?” She asked me, returning to the mirror to re-apply her lipstick.

“Nothing to be proud of. I let you dress me up. That was it.” I commented dully, pushing away from the door and standing with her in the mirror.

For the longest time, I had thought I looked just like my father. Same dark eyes and hair and same round face. Suddenly though, I was seeing the similarities between Mum and I. We both had the same slim, average figure. We both had the same narrow neck. We both had the broad shoulders. I was always compared to my father in all my physical features, but standing here now, I was a mirror image of my mother. Quite literally.

“You know I never meant for any of this to happen.” Mum whispered. I didn’t want to think about it, but I knew it was going to be addressed sooner rather than later. I turned away from the mirror, sitting on the bed I had claimed as my own.

“Didn’t you? You drove Father away. You cheated on him. You made him do what he did.” I was holding in my anger the best I could, but I could hear my voice shaking as I narrowed my eyes on her. She calmly sat on the bed next to me, her hands tightly knitted as she tried to find the right words.

But there weren’t any.

“Lenny….my actions were not done at random. Your father and I have not gotten along in a very long time. You knew that. You saw the way he drank. We have stayed together because of you two children. We were going to separate once the two of you were out of the house. We had no connection anymore. A man from work knew of our situation and had been very supportive throughout the years. This last year it had turned into more. I went to him when your father came home drunk. He comforted me…he made me feel safe. Somehow your father had found out about it. I tried to reason with him, but he acted without a second thought.” I saw the tear slide down my mother’s face. I immediately reached forward and squeezed her hand.

“You shouldn’t have stayed with him if it was that bad, Mum.” I mumbled.

“It wasn’t that easy, Lenny.” She whispered.

“Did you love that man? The man you were having the affair with?” I asked her. There was a moment of silence as I saw Mum’s lower lip quiver as she let out a sob and nodded her head, immediately crumbling onto my shoulder.

“Oh Lenny, don’t make the mistakes I have!” She sobbed. I awkwardly patted her back, unsure of what to do. Oh how I hate criers. I should really read a book on how to handle these situations.

“How could I? Have to have a husband and all first, Mum.” I said awkwardly.

“You will. You’re a gorgeous girl, darling.” She sniffled. I snorted. I couldn’t even get Sirius Black to accept that I was L.C. I sure couldn’t convince the world I was gorgeous.

“You shouldn’t have stayed with Father.” I blurted. Mum’s head tilted to the side slightly in question. “You should’ve been with the man that you had an affair with. If you loved him, you shouldn’t have put yourself through all of that pain.”

“Sometimes love is complicated, Lenny.” She sighed, her eyes drifting away into her memories. “Sometimes it’s not as simple as just being together. Sometimes there are other people you have to consider. Family. Friends.”

“No. It’s simple. If you love someone, you’re supposed to be with them. No games. No gimmicks.” I told her.  

“You sound pretty confident in that for someone who supposedly isn’t in love.” My mother said. I could hear the tone in her voice and the look on her face told me it all. She knew about the Sirius debacle. Teddy isn’t one to blab to Mum about things, but somehow she knew.

“It’s not me who doesn’t understand that. It’s him.” I said pathetically. I didn’t want to think about Black anymore, did anyone not get that?

“Men always need a little time to process what is going on. He will come around, Len. They always do.” Mum said, smiling as she kissed the top of my hair. I suddenly wanted another shower. I wouldn’t admit it, but deep down, I hoped Mum was right.


“Happy Christmas Eve, Len.” Teddy said, hugging me into his side. I felt like he was the Aunt that you didn’t want kissing you on the cheek because they will leave an embarrassing red lipstick mark. I cringed, but attempted a tight smile nevertheless.

“You too.” I responded.

“Lenny!” I heard the shriek before I saw Alice come dashing past Teddy and enveloping me in a hug. I nearly fell smack on my bottom.

“Alice? What are you doing here?” I questioned. She smiled at me as her sparkling eyes seemed to have an extra shine tonight.

“Convinced my parents to let me have Christmas Eve with you lot. Plus, Lily said she could use some assistance. Apparently you told her that her jumper looked like a cat threw up on it.” Alice raised an eyebrow at me.

“I saved her from not wearing a throw up sweatshirt. She should be thankful.” I explained. Alice wanted to be serious, but I could see the smile pulling at the sides of her cheeks.

“She would not have lived it down…” Alice mused. She winked at me before turning away and going back over to Lily who was gesturing wildly with her hands to Potter about something.

“Happy Christmas, Lenny!” Peter called from me from his spot next to Sirius. I made a small wave towards him, but came up short when my eyes met Sirius’s. He had on a tight black jumper that seemed to squeeze every one of his muscles the right way. I saw his jaw tighten and his eyes turn to the size of quaffles at the sight of me.

Did I really look that horrid?

“Let’s go eat!” Lily called out to everyone.

I was honestly very surprised at the meal that Lily and James had managed together. There was a large cut turkey in the center of the table with roasted potatoes, cranberry sauce, chestnut stuffing, parsnips, and assorted other sides spread out. There was even wine magically pouring itself into each glass. It was very elegant, very sophisticated, and very beautiful. I was taken aback by the scene in front of me. It felt like nothing was wrong anymore.

“We know who’s going to be hosting Christmas Dinners when we graduate.” Remus said, causing a laughter to erupt through the group as they all bustled into seats.

 I ended up next to Teddy and Lily. Everyone seemed so joyous. They were really in the Christmas spirit. Joking, laughing and making obscene gestures. I watched like an outsider looking in as James flung a roll straight for Remus’s head who wasn’t paying attention and got laughed at for a good five minutes. There was idle chatter about this and that, but I still did not join in. No one really pressured me into joining in either. For the first time, I sort of felt comfortable just watching my friends.

Friends. Who thought Loony Lenny Crowley would ever say that.

“Gryffindor’s going to take home the trophy this year!” James cheered, nearly bouncing straight out of his seat.

“You’re going to have to fight us for it!” Teddy rebutted.

“You already tried that, mate. DIdn’t win that either!” James joked, getting a good laugh out of everyone.

“You guys do have an amazing team,” Remus chimed in.

“What is our Quidditch team going to do without us next year?” Sirius added.

“Lose to Slytherin, probably.” Lily stated. James nudged her side.

“Gryffindor shall never fall to Slytherin!” James cheered while most of the room whooped in agreement.

“Let’s all go pro. Crowley, Sirius, and I would all be unstoppable! Teddy, if you learn to play nice, you might make our team as well.” James said, receiving a spoonful of roasted potatoes thrown straight at him. He didn’t have time to dodge and it went sliding down his button up.

“Teddy!” James whined. “Lily just ironed this for me!”

Everyone burst into fits of laughter at Potter’s expense. And at Lily’s expense as well.

“You two are like a married couple and you have been dating for hardly a few months!” Teddy said between laughter.

Lily Evans and James Potter. Who would have thought?


“Wow Peter. This is a very nice….sweater.” Lily said awkwardly, holding up the lime green Christmas sweater. I snorted from her side and received a swift elbow. Peter was just glowing with happiness.

“I’m glad you like it!” He squeaked, taking another sip from his tea. Lily gave me skeptical look, but set her new present in her pile and continued on.

I watched as everyone opened their presents. Teddy had gotten some books, some assorted practical joke items, and a large family picture from me. Lily had gotten some books as well, random items of clothing, a gorgeous locket from James, and a large stuffed bear from Sirius (who claimed she would have to cuddle with something when he wanted to hang out with James). Peter had gotten practical joke items, candy, and a pair of fuzzy socks from me. Remus had gotten countless books, chocolate, and James and Sirius had bought him a pet rabbit (for what reason I will never understand). Alice received mittens from me, make up, candy, and assorted clothing. James opened his presents and found practical joke items, Quidditch supplies, and a phoenix feather quill from Lily.

I cautiously watched Sirius as he opened his presents silently across the room, trying to make sure no one saw him. He wanted to do it without anyone seeing his reactions. He opened Peter’s present: a Gryffindor scarf. He opened Remus’s present: a necklace with a wolf’s tooth on the end. He opened Teddy’s present: a large bottle of hair gel (to which he had a silent chuckle). He quietly opened Alice’s: a set of Gryffindor mittens. He opened James’s: a set of keys. He paused, looked at James who smiled at him, and nearly jumped straight out of his skin.

“YOU GOT ME THE BIKE?!” Sirius exclaimed. Suddenly he had all the attention of the room on him.

“Of course mate!  You were only eyeing that thing up for ages!” James smiled at Sirius who looked ready to kiss him.

“I’m going to take this for the longest joy ride later. Thanks Prongs!” Sirius tucked the keys safely into his pocket. This time everyone was watching him. My heart beat picked up as he picked up my present. I didn’t put a tag on it. I immediately looked down into my hands as I felt him bring his eyes onto me, practically knowing I had gifted that to him. I looked up just in time to see him unfolding the old piece of parchment and staring at it in wonder.

“What’s that?” Peter asked, crawling towards Sirius and peering at the parchment. Remus and James soon joined him.

“It’s constellations, Wormtail,” Remus explained. “But see, whoever gifted this to you already connected a few.”

I felt my heart rate pick up as Lily reached over and squeezed my shoulder. I watched as all the boys scanned the paper and was trying to connect the dots in their head to no avail. Peter even tilted his head to the side slightly in an attempt to read it better. Remus was running everything through in his big encyclopedia for a brain. James was waiting for someone else to figure it out. Sirius, though I knew deep down he knew what it was, was at a loss for any kind of thought.

Then I held my breath as realization dawned on Remus’s face.

“Padfoot, you know what that is, right?” Remus asked him. All eyes turned towards Sirius as he stared at it quizzically.

“No, I haven’t a-“ but he cut himself short and I could see the realization dawn on his face as his cheeks flushed pink.

“What, what is it?” Potter asked, grabbing the parchment and flipping it upside down in an attempt to better read it. Sirius looked up at me in that moment. I couldn’t read the expressions on his face, but it was like I could hear all the questions in his head. The main one? “Why?”

“My turn!” I squeaked, reaching for the first present my outstretched hand could grasp. I pretended to shake the box, but didn’t hear it rattle. I ripped it open as fast as I could, avoiding eye contact with everyone. It was a book with a Quidditch player floating around on the top and the title read ‘Quidditch for Dummies: How to Capitalize on Talent”.

I stared blankly at Potter who was grinning from ear to ear with joy at his purchase. “You’re welcome!” He proclaimed. I rolled my eyes and started a small pile.

Remus had gotten me a rather large box of chocolate, which had tasted positively delicious when I took three consecutive pieces and popped them in my mouth. Peter had gotten me Gryffindor socks (which honestly looked very comfortable). Teddy had gotten me a rather expensive looking broom service kit that I knew would come in way too much handy with the upcoming end to the season. Lily had gotten me a brand new book bag because mine was becoming “rather frightful to even have in the same room”. Alice had gotten me a picture frame with all the roommates from Halloween. That was positively frightful to look at.

There was one small box left with a red ribbon on the top. I stared at it for a second while it seemed like everyone was holding their breath along with me. There was only one person it could be from. I wasn’t sure if I truly wanted to open it. Half of me wanted to throw it in the fire and be done with it. But curiosity did kill the cat after all. Though I’m not a cat, nor have I ever been one in a past life. That part is irrelevant.

“Are you going to open that or stare at it all bloody day?” Potter asked, receiving a swift arm punch from Lily. You go, girl. I sighed, reaching forward and I unwrapped it as slowly as humanly possible.

It was indeed a small box with a latch on the front. The box was slick mahogany wood that seemed like it was polished over and over again. The box fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. I slowly unlatched the clasp and took a deep breath before flicking the small top open. I gasped and nearly dropped the box to the floor. It was beautiful. It was magnificent. It was… completely me.

Inside was a small charm bracelet. I lifted it out and watched as Lily and Alice both gasped at it. Attached were five charms. One was a small golden broomstick. Another was a masquerade mask. Right in the middle was a slightly larger charm with the letters “LC”. To the right of that was a single star and next to that was a shrunken piece of parchment with small, illegible writing on it. I stared at the charm bracelet for what seemed like hours before slipping it on my wrist.

I looked up to everyone staring silently at me. They were waiting for a reaction. The air in the room was stiff as I felt like I had to do something, anything to get the attention away from me. Normally I could just open my mouth and something would come out on its own, but it didn’t seem to be the case right now. Where had that changed? Where had I changed from Loony Lenny Crowley to someone’s friend?

“Wish someone would have gotten me a Crumple-horned Snorkack’s horn.” I blurted out. It seemed like everyone let out their breath in a sigh of relief.

I guess some things will never change.



Author's note: So I know I've lost a lot of readers just because of my lack of being able to update within the last year. I do apologize for that. I'm not going to make up excuses this time, but thank you to ALL that are still here. It really does mean a lot to me to see my work get noticed like this. I love reading new reviews and seeing what everyone has to say about the ups and downs of Lenny Crowley. That being said, I would LOVE to hear some predictions on what people think is going to happen! I am one for a cliché ending, but with Lenny, you can't predict much.

Chapter 28: The Nargle Attacks
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It was possibly the most beautiful Christmas I’ve seen in a long time. There was roughly thirty centimeters on the ground already and snow was still sprinkling the ground. It was still dark out, the street lamps leaving a beautiful glow on the Lupins’s front yard. No, that didn’t mean I wanted to go out and play with the snow and make it my best friend, but it was a start. I would definitely admire this from afar and keep my distance while I was at it….well, except for right now. But for very good reason.

I slipped into my wool jumper and pushed my feet into the over sized boots that I had sworn I would shrink….or ask Lily to shrink because I honestly didn’t know any shrinking spells. My Gryffindor scarf was wrapped around my neck for warmth and my mittens might not be practical for the events that are to happen, but I couldn’t think of a warmer thing to wear on my hands. My large sweatpants were tucked rather foolishly into my boots to prevent them from getting too wet at the bottoms. I was bundled and ready to go on this Christmas morning. Where might I be going?

Nargle hunting.

I felt a bit out of place doing this by myself. Normally it was my father and I doing this. Father would even pick out the outfits we would wear. They would always match. He would bring all the necessary items. Sure, we never caught any nargles, but it was always fun getting up early and doing something that brought father and I together. Now the only thing that brought us together is when Mum decided it was time to visit Dad in Azkaban again.

“Lenny?” I heard him before I saw him. I spun around with a yelp and saw Sirius coming out of the kitchen with a pair of sweatpants on, no shirt. I tried hard not to stare, but Quidditch treated Sirius well.

“Black.” I responded. I juggled the jar in my hand awkwardly, not quite willing to look Sirius in the eyes.

“What’re you doing up so early?” Sirius asked, leaning against the doorway, glancing down at the jar in my hand.

“What are you doing up so early?” I questioned back. It was then that I noticed the sandwich in his hand. Stupid question. He raised his sandwich to show me.

“Needed a snack. You?” He asked. I hated that he was being civil to me. I wanted to hate every bit of Sirius Black, but I couldn’t. It just wasn’t possible. If I were to tell myself at the beginning of the year that I would be saying this by
Christmas, I wouldn’t have believed it.

“Nargle hunting.” I said in a quiet voice, hoping he didn’t hear me. Sadly, he did as he nodded his head in understanding.

“Teddy not going with you?” He asked. What did he even care?

“No. My father and I used to go together but…” I let my voice trail off. I wasn’t even sure why I was telling Sirius this, but I found my mouth wouldn’t stop moving.

“I’ll go with you.” Sirius said, taking a bite of his sandwich and coming towards me, grabbing his jacket off of the hook behind me.

“No, you don’t have to,” I protested. He shoved the rest of the sandwich in his mouth.

“I want to.” He said simply, pulling his boots onto his feet. I blinked at him a few times. Why did he find it so necessary to be nice to me now? Did he feel bad for what he did? Probably not. This was Sirius Black we were talking about here.

Without a word, I walked to the backdoor, Sirius close in tow, and quietly opened the door. A cold wind immediately bit at my cheeks, but I gritted my teeth and ventured out into the Lupin’s backyard. It was rather large with a lot of pine trees this way and that. They had a large fire pit in the middle with chairs, that were currently covered in snow, all around it. There were random Christmas lights this way and that, hanging from tree to tree. If it weren’t so cold and there wasn’t so much bloody snow, I might think it was a pretty sight.

“Where do we begin?” Sirius asked, narrowing his eyes as he searched through the backyard. I sighed, going over to the nearest pine tree.

“They like to hide in things that are tightly bound together.” I explained. I shook the branch, my jar open right under it. I quickly shut it and paused for a second. Nothing happened. “They never have a good grip on anything. You can shake the branch and, if you’re lucky, they will fall into your jar. You won’t be able to see them, but if you’ve caught one, you’ll hear a rattling and feel the jar shake because they are trying to get out.”

“Ever caught one?” Sirius asked as I opened the jar and he began to shake the tree. I quickly closed the jar. Again nothing.

“No, not yet.” I said with a sigh. I moved to a different tree.

“Why is Christmas such a good time for this?” Sirius asked, shaking a branch again. Nothing.

“They’re most active around Christmas. They enjoy stealing presents.” I explained. Sirius nodded at me. He looked like he wanted to say something, say anything, but he didn’t . I felt the air thicken as the awkwardness sunk in and we fell into silence. Every once in a while I would go to a different tree and Sirius would follow.

“Tell me…” Sirius said as we went to our fourth tree. “Where’s the best place to catch nargles?”

I thought about that one for a second and glanced around, trying to find what I was looking for. Sure enough, up on the steps leading to the Lupin’s back door was it. I pointed at it. It might have been the wind, but Sirius’s face flushed slightly at the sight of it. However, he grabbed the jar from me and made his way over to it. I quickly followed. We both positioned ourselves right under it as I reached up to shake it. I shook it twice before Sirius slammed the jar shut, waiting for the tell all signal.

Then suddenly, the jar shook and there was a very distinct rattling sound. Sirius’s face lit up with excitement and I squealed with glee. I couldn’t believe it. We had caught a nargle. I pulled the jar from his hand and sure enough, it shook again. I wanted to keep this forever. I was so excited; there weren’t even words for it. Sirius looked almost as impressed as I did. I felt it rattle again and without thinking, I reached up and hugged Sirius.

We both stopped our laughter as I quickly pulled away. Sirius
had a very distinguishable blush to his face as I knew my face was burning just the same. I mentally slapped myself for what I had just done. Getting wrapped up in the moment was something I was all too familiar with. Yet Sirius didn’t move very far away from me. In fact, I swore he was closer to me. I suddenly felt hot in the amount of clothes I was wearing. Sirius was really too close to me. He glanced up at the mistletoe again, then back down at me, a small sparkle in his grey eyes.

“Mistletoe.” He said simply and that’s when I knew what he was going to do.

And of course, I pulled a Lenny.


“What do you mean a nargle attacked him?” Remus asked for clarification, watching as James dabbed at Sirius’s bloody eyebrow, much to his protests.

“If you just sat still-“ He grumbled as Sirius winced again.

“Well maybe if you weren’t pushing so bloody hard!” Sirius whined.

“I mean a nargle attacked him.” I explained. Maybe that wasn’t the truth, but that was what I was sticking with. Sirius wasn’t going to cross me either. He had been the one to try to kiss me. Which is why I dropped the jar and as it shattered, the nargle apparently attacked Sirius’s face. Watching an invisible pest attack someone is a lot funnier than you’d think.

“Why do I find your story hard to believe?” Remus crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes on me. I blinked a couple of times, but didn’t flinch.

“Because it’s not true. Lenny probably attacked Padfoot with her claws.” James protested, though he looked oddly joyful at the whole situation. Sirius winced again as James applied pressure and then swatted at Potter’s head.

“Can we just drop it?” Sirius asked pathetically, having not looked at me since the incident. I couldn’t even register many thoughts after it had happened. I couldn’t think of the whys or ifs. It was all just too consuming.

“Did you get your arse kicked by Lenny?” Teddy asked, walking into the living area and seeing the scene before him. Sirius immediately glared towards Teddy and Teddy smirked back at him.

“I did not get my arse kicked by Lenny!” Sirius squeaked, trying and failing to defend himself. It was the first time he looked towards me, looking for some sort of help. I frowned, unsure of what to do or say.

“It was a nargle.” I stated simply. Remus and James both rolled their eyes, but didn’t say another word.

“What do nargles look like?” Peter asked me. That didn’t even merit a response. Mom managed to save me as she came in, hair tied up in a large ponytail and her small body wrapped in a large robe. She looked around in confusion, but let her eyes settle on me with a small smile.

“Lenny, I have your present upstairs.” She told me, gesturing for me to follow her. As quickly as I had dropped the jar, I rushed over towards her, dashing from the room.

“What’d you get me?” I asked her. I honestly hadn’t expected a present from her. After Father had left and the house was gone, I expected Christmas to be nothing special at all. I honestly hadn’t thought Mum had any money at all.

“What happened to Sirius?” She asked me, trying to divert my attention.

“Nargle attack.” I said simply. “Is my present something soft?”

“And why did a nargle attack him?” Mum pressed, narrowing her eyes at me as she pulled open the bedroom door to the room she had been staying in. At first I hadn’t seen my present, but it was a small box wrapped up on Mum’s bed. I grabbed it and lightly shook it in my hands. It made no noise.

“What is it?” I said stupidly.

“You cannot open it until you tell me what happened to Sirius.” Mum crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows at me. I sighed at her, setting the box down as I sat on the bed. She came and sat next to me.

“I was nargle hunting, per my usual Christmas morning schedule, and Sirius was with me. We actually caught a nargle, a real nargle, Mum! Then he….well he…He tried to kiss me.” I mumbled, still not quite sure how I felt about the whole situation. I was still a little numb from the cold, to be honest.

“Do you like him?” She asked rather simply. I thought about her question. It was a difficult one to answer.

“I don’t know.” I answered her. Sirius had been a guy that I had fallen for despite my efforts not to. He was charming when he wanted to be and the sweetest person around. Yet, he had still been the guy to break my heart and give me the worst type of rejection. I wasn’t a person who let people in. I wasn’t the girl that fell for guys, got their heart broken, and was fine a week later. I had never gotten my heart shredded by a guy, especially one I hadn’t let in on my own will. So to say that I liked him? Maybe that was an understatement. To say that I hated him? I could never hate him. It wasn’t possible, even if I wanted to more than anything.

“Darling, I didn’t ask if you hated him; I asked you if you liked him.” Mum restated, raising her eyebrows at me.

“You already seem to know the answer.” I grumbled. She placed her hand on my shoulder with a sigh.

“There’s nothing wrong with liking a boy. Especially if he’s as cute as Sirius Black.” She added the last part with a wink.

“There’s everything wrong with liking Sirius Black. He’s arrogant, self-absorbed, thick headed, and has really small ears! Not to mention he doesn’t see me as…err… normal. To him, I’m the weird girl who talks to herself too much and lives in her own head. I’m not the tall, skinny blonde bimbo that giggles at boys’ jokes and flip their hair at all the right moments. I think I’d get whiplash if I tried to flip my hair.” I fumbled with the present in my hands, not looking up at her. She placed her hand in my hair and patted it.

“You do not give yourself enough credit. You’re gorgeous, though you don’t give yourself credit for it. You’ve got amazing Quidditch skills. You’d have better grades if you applied yourself. This boy doesn’t know what he’s missing out on. Anyone would be lucky to have you.” She tried cheering me up to no avail. I wasn’t stupid, contrary to a few people’s beliefs.

“Yes, Mother. That’s why I haven’t had a boyfriend in years.” Had I ever had one? That was a question for later.

“And that’s not your fault either. Lenny, I am proud of you. I have always been proud of you. I don’t care if you bring home a million boyfriends or none, you are still my gorgeous, happy-go-lucky daughter. I wouldn’t change that for the world.”

Though I knew Mum was only trying to cheer me up, it really made me feel worse. It made me think about the feeling I had towards Sirius. I really did like him and that made me feel pathetic. He had built me up and made me believe that he didn’t just think of me as Loony Lenny Crowley. He had made me believe that maybe things had changed. Maybe I wasn’t just Loony Lenny anymore. I had felt like I had changed. Then it had all came crashing down when he rejected me. He kissed me, then said it was a mistake. I was the loser that I always was.

“Why don’t you open your present, darling?” Mum said, breaking me out of my trance. I looked down at the present and tore the paper away from the black leathered rectangular box. Popping it open, a long gold chain was within it with a very simple, elegant lion’s head in silver with small diamonds for the eyes and nose. It was positively breathtaking.

“This is gorgeous, Mum.” I breathed, pulling it from the box. She was slightly red as I handed it to her to put on me.

“It was all I could afford.” She admitted, clasping it around my neck. “But you’re a Gryffindor, Lenny. You’re brave and strong. You can make it through everything.”

And she was right. I could. And I would.


I hesitated in the foyer. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how he was going to react. How does one apologize for letting a nargle attack someone? How do you find the right words to express your sorrow, while still trying to show that you meant to do it? Well, not saying I meant to do it, but I did mean to not kiss him. Why did he try to mix up my brain like this? I wasn’t someone that would just snog him whenever he felt it was convenient for him. I didn’t work like that.

I peeked my head around the corner to see James and Remus in the corner by the fireplace, a game of chess in front of them. Remus was obviously winning as James was producing swear words I didn’t even think existed as Remus smirked at him. I watched as Remus’s queen took James’s bishop’s head off. James swore again and Remus let out a barking laughter. Sirius was sitting close to them on a fluffed chair, a small smile on his face as James went to swat at Remus who leaned back and missed the hit. It was easy to tell Sirius was distracted, however.

Now or never, Lenny.

I took a deep breath, pulling my jumper tighter around me, and entered the room. It was like a silence fell as everyone turned towards me. James immediately stopped his profanities and Remus immediately straightened up. What was I, McGonagall? Surely they didn’t think I was that much of a stick in the mud. I raised my eyebrows at the game, approaching it as it seemed like the thickness was harder to walk through than to cut.

“Potter, do you suck this bad at everything or just chess and coaching a Quidditch team?” I questioned, taking the last fluffed chair next to the table.

“I do both fantastically, actually!” He protested. I tilted my head to the side and looked down at the game.

“You’re obviously losing.” I retorted.

“Remus has an unfair advantage!” James shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at him. Remus barked with laughter.

“What? Brains?” He asked. James flushed pink.

“Explains so much, doesn’t it Prongs?” Sirius asked, a smirk on his lips. James glared at all three of us, huffing angrily. I couldn’t think of a smooth way to transition into trying to talk to Sirius. Smoothness wasn’t really my strong suit.

“Lupin? I think Potter needs a lesson on shaving. Looks like me missed a few hairs on his chin.” I tried.

Hey, it was a lot smoother than I normally am.

Gladly, Remus immediately took the hint and grabbed James by his collar.

“Come on, mate! You need a sharper razor!” Remus said. James, however, didn’t get the hint.

“I have a fantastic eye!” He protested, slapping Remus’s hand away from his collar.

“Well, your hair needs some taming.” Remus mumbled, dragging a protesting James from the room. It was silent. Too silent.

“Lenny, I’m-“

“I just wanted to-“

We both stopped as the other tried to talk. This wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought.

“Go ahead.” I told him. He cleared his throat, looking down at his hands.

“I’m sorry I tried to kiss you. It was very inappropriate of me.” He stated.

“Inappropriate is your middle name.” I told him. He looked up at me and smirked, the small twinkle in his mischievous eyes.

“Touché.” He said with a nod.

“I’m sorry I let a nargle attack you. It was damn funny, but probably a bit uncalled for.” I recited. He let out a small chuckle and nodded towards me.

“Apology accepted.” He stuck out his hand for me to shake, but I didn’t take it. I didn’t feel like it would be right to touch him. I could already feel my desire to sink into him and let his warmth envelope me. It didn’t feel right to want to do that, but my feelings never agreed with me as of late. He dropped his hand after noticing I wasn’t going to take it with a frown.

“We are going to have to have the talk, aren’t we?” Sirius questioned.

“What talk?”

“I have to explain myself. Explain…the last few months.” Sirius clarified, not quite making eye contact with me as I could feel his nerves kicking in.

“Then explain, Black.” I told him, tilting my head to the side because, let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to get into his head for a bit? It would make my life a lot easier. He studied me for a moment, as though trying to see what is in my head. He then let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

“What difference is it going to make?” He asked me. “You’re still going to give me that loathing stare whenever I come into the room. You’re still going to think of me as the guy who led you on for months. You’re still going to see me as the tool who wrote you those letters for shits and grins. You’re not going to see me as the guy who danced with you at the ball. You’re not going to see me as the one who saved you from Bagman countless times. I’m always going to be that guy that hurt you, though that was never my intention. Everything just caught me by surprise. I didn’t know how to react, so I reacted in the best way I could, which was closing myself off. Horrible, I know, but I had never put a face to L.C and when I finally did, I wasn’t ready to realize my feelings for a real person.”

I didn’t quite know what to say. Did I tell him he was correct? He was. I was hurt by him in ways that I never thought Sirius Black would hurt me. Yet, underneath all of my anger and disgust for him, I knew he was the considerate guy that he tried to hide from the world. I knew that he had feelings, no matter how far down he buried them. I knew that Sirius Black wasn’t just some player that everyone thought he was. Though all that was Sirius Black scared me. It scared me because I felt something for him that I hadn’t felt for someone before. I cared about him and I didn’t know how he felt about me.

“I’m not playing your games, Black.” I retorted, crossing my arms. I couldn’t afford to let myself get juggled around by him. I wouldn’t do that to myself.

“This isn’t a game, Lenny.” He pleaded with me. He turned so his body was facing me. “No matter what you think, I meant every word in those letters to you, both to L.C and to Lenny.”

I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I turned to look at him. Did he really mean that? Did he really care about me the way he wrote in those letters? I wanted to not believe him, but the pleading sorrow in his eyes told me otherwise. I wanted to scream at him and to hit him multiple times until he cracked a smile and told me he was joking, but in the pit of my stomach I knew it was all the truth. The truth was something that I wasn’t prepared to handle.

“I’ve got to go.” I mumbled, pushing myself up from the couch and running from the room faster than you can say ‘The hippogriff was ornery’.

Maybe Sirius and I weren’t meant to be. One of us was always running away.

Author's Note: Wooooo Lenny and Sirius not meant to be?! Is that a joke?! Maybe ;D. AND THE NARGLE ATTACKS! bum bum bum. Sorry my mind is a bit wonky right now. I haven't slept much lately and well... you know the whole excuses thing by now, don't you? Review, rate, all that good stuff! Tell me what you think!!!

Chapter 29: Potter's New Years Eve Party (Part One)
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For the next couple of days, I found myself locked in the spare bedroom at the Lupin’s house. I rarely came out for meals. I barely responded to Teddy when he came in to try to talk to me. I ignored my mother’s requests to help her with something. I gave Remus glares whenever he showed himself. I didn’t communicate with the world and I just wanted to be by myself. Why? Sirius Black. Hasn’t everyone understood by now that he is the reason for everything going wrong in my life?

I didn’t want to have to accidentally bump into him. I didn’t want to possibly hear his name. I just didn’t want to deal with anything Sirius bloody Black. I didn’t feel comfortable and I wasn’t ready to deal with everything yet. Maybe it was my pride taking over or possibly me being childish, but I would be fine if he dropped off the face of the earth and never came back. I would be very happy if someone just erased him from my memory and I never had to think about him again. Sadly, neither was going to happen. I knew I’d have to face him sooner or later, but I preferred to think it would be later.

I stared at the ceiling of the Lupin’s home, contemplating if I smelled bad enough that my own stench would keep people away from me. Probably not. Teddy had a cold right now and he was too prideful to take a potion for it. I wondered what day it was. Was I supposed to go back to school soon? Probably. I had heard Remus talking to Teddy about how he hoped his essay was long enough for Professor Slughorn. School talk meant it was close, right? I sighed, pursing my lips as I started to count the small dots embedded into the ceiling. 1,321 was what it was last time I checked….which was yesterday.

“Lenora Crowley!” I heard someone shout as they pushed open the door. I didn’t move my head. I was too deep in my counting. I felt someone sit down on the bed and I felt eyes on me, but I didn’t look over.

“Hello person.” I mumbled, keeping my eyes glued to the ceiling.

“You could at least look at me. I did take time out of my wonderful vacation to get your sorry arse out of this bed,” The person growled. I lazily looked over and saw Marlene, freshly tanned, sitting next to me, her nose pointed practically to the ceiling.

“What do you want?” I drawled. She didn’t look offended in the least.

“Well, rumor has it you have been sulking all break and no one has been able to peel you off this bed. Do you realize how bad you smell?” She asked me. I grunted, not responding. “Anyways, I figured after you didn’t respond to my fifth owl that something was wrong, so I left Portugal and came straight here!”

“You were in Portugal?” I asked, not because I was interested, but because Marlene McKinnon could ramble on about the most pointless things if you got her going long enough.

“Don’t try that on me, Crowley. We’re getting you out of this bed whether I have to do it by force or you go willingly.” She growled. I wanted to grab my wand and curse her, but not only did I not know a spell off the top of my head to throw out, but I was too lazy to reach around her and grab my wand.

“And what do you expect to do with me once you have me up, hmm? Take me shopping? Try to catch nargles?” I asked her in a monotone, recalling what others had tried to do to make me feel better.

“What? Who the bloody hell would take your nargle hunting?” Marlene asked, though I didn’t feel obligated to respond. “No, we are going to get ready for Potter’s New Year’s Eve party. I don’t normally attend, but a lot has changed over the past year.”

You can say that again.

“He’s having a party?” I questioned, hoping to get Marlene on a rant.

“Yes and we are both going.” She declared, yanking on my arm. Due to the lack of strength I had as of late, I tumbled straight off, her dodging out of the way expertly to avoid going down with me.

“Bloody great.” I mumbled as she pulled me to my feet. She examined me for a brief moment before her nose wrinkled.

“Go take a bath before we go anywhere. There is no way I am letting you even go near my wardrobe when you smell like that!” She hissed at me, leading me out into the hall and into the bathroom across the way.

“I can wear my own clothes, you know.” I said to her, stripping down and turning on the water as she turned away from me.

“You can but you are wearing mine.” Marlene responded. I let the warm water soak my skin and run through my hair. I could practically feel the grime washing off of me.

“Why?” I groaned to her.

“It’s going to be a new year….a new chance to reinvent yourself. Do you want to be forever remembered as L.C?” Marlene asked. I took a moment to mull that thought over. Since the beginning of the school year, I had taken way too many steps away from Lenny Crowley. I had gained friends (which I never had) and I had done things I never would have imagined I would ever do.

“I don’t think I need to change…I think I need to go back to how I was before.” I told her. She was silent as I heard her sigh.

“Whatever gets you out of this mood.” She mumbled. I smiled for the first time in a while and put my head under the water, sighing with bliss. If new Lenny caused all this havoc, maybe going back to old Lenny was just the route to go.


To say the McKinnon Home was immaculate would be an understatement in itself. When we flooed in, a large pillow magiked itself in front of me, catching me before I fell flat on my face. The pillow felt softer than my bed. Marlene probably had a pet dog that slept on something like this. When I looked up, I was met with a large sitting room. The oversized furniture matched perfectly with the walls, the Persian rug, and all of the miscellaneous decorations they had. I got up on my feet and turned back to the enormous stone fireplace and saw a large photograph of Marlene and her two parents (who looked nothing like her), smiling and sticking their nose in the air.

Seeing her aristocratic parents in that photograph explained so much.

Marlene was already half way out f the room before I had a chance to blink. I quickly rushed to catch up as she made it out into the marble-floored foyer, and to the grand staircase. I barely had time to take in the over sized chandelier hanging above our heads as she began to take two stairs at a time. There were photographs lining the staircase of Marlene and her parents. They each studied me as I nearly tripped trying to dash up the stairs after Marlene. She didn’t seem to take notice of my inability to keep up with her. She brushed passed the photos without a second glance.

“Is that Lenny Crowley?!” I heard Marlene’s voice. I stopped climbing as I turned to see a 14 year old Marlene with her eyes narrowed slightly, trying to figure out what I was doing here. I was wondering the same thing.

“Err… yes?” I answered her. She sat up straighter, surprised I had actually answered her. Marlene sighed from the top step, swiveling around and crossing her arms.

“Lenny, you can’t talk to them or they’ll never shut up,” Marlene told me. The Marlene in the photograph glared at her.

“Well maybe if someone around here said one word to us we wouldn’t be so starving for a simple conversation!” Little Marlene shrieked. Big Marlene rolled her eyes and gestured for me to follow her.

“Don’t act like such a child!” Marlene called behind her as she started down the long, narrow hallway that seemed to go on forever.

“You know you’re talking to yourself, right?” I asked her. Marlene mumbled something I couldn’t hear before taking a sharp right and pulling open two double doors. I don’t need to express my shock at her room at how understandably large her entire house is. Was I surprised upon walking into her room? Well, seeing as I had already walked through part of her home, not really. Did I expect to see so much pink? Probably not. I sat down on her bright pink bed spread and looked at Marlene with a raised eyebrow.

“What?” She asked irritably.

“Pink?” I questioned, wanting to smile, but knowing better than to. She glared at me, but went straight for her double door, walk in closet. She immediately disappeared into the hoard of clothes.

“What do you want to wear?” I heard her voice come from the closet. I sat down on her bed, staring around the room. There were assorted Ravenclaw decorations, along with a fair amount of pictures of herself. Someone was a little self evolved.

“What am I supposed to wear?” I asked stupidly. Why was I even caring about what I wanted to wear? Wasn’t I supposed to go back to the old Lenny who didn’t care about what she wore?

“Are you giving me permission to dress you?” I heard Marlene’s voice practically echoing from within the closet.

“I was not looking for someone to dress me, just someone to give me advice,” I said cautiously. Marlene would have a dress over my head before I could say Hippogriff if I wasn’t careful. Marlene shuffled around in the closet. I heard glass break. I heard her swear loudly. Then she came out, holding up a rather short red dress. I tilted my head to the side, trying to determine which end my neck was supposed to go in and which one would barely cover my legs. It looked like a 50/50 shot, really.

“Absolutely not.” I informed her. She sighed, going back into her closet. I got up this time, following her in. Saying she had too many clothes was an understatement. Had she even worn all of these? I knew from Hogwarts that she had a fashion sense, but what the bloody hell did she do with all of these? You could tell she was a Ravenclaw from the way she had everything organized. By what I saw, she had organized it by length of sleeves, color, and then thickness of the material. She was almost as bad as Teddy who had to iron his clothes by hand before they were put away.

“Well, I think I’m going to wear this…” Marlene mumbled, pulling a short, frilly blue dress off of a hanger. She smiled at me, holding it up and shaking it. I nodded in approval, though I highly doubt she really cared about my opinion.

I wasn’t sure I could pull off wearing anything in Marlene’s closet. One item in here was probably more expensive than my whole wardrobe. Plus, they were more bold than I would ever try to pull off. I may not have a fashion sense, but I knew that none of these would look very attractive on me. They wouldn’t hug me the way they hugged Marlene. They wouldn’t show off my curves like they did on her (not that I had many of those). I wasn’t bold and daring when it came to clothing. I was just Lenny.

But maybe that was the point. Maybe I wasn’t exactly supposed to go back to the old Lenny, but be a bolder, more improved Lenny. Maybe if I mixed the old Lenny with the new, I’d come out with a result I would be happy with. Though I may have been happy before this year, I was always missing something: friends. A new year wasn’t about reverting to old ways; it was about changing and becoming something new. Maybe that was what I was intended to do.

So I pulled an outfit off of the rack at random. Maybe not complete randomness, but it was a step in the right direction. It was probably the most innocent, concealed thing that Marlene owned. The dark jeans would probably be a little snug and the white fitted sweater would probably look a little too dressy, but it would have to do. Upon seeing my choice, Marlene pursed her lips, but didn’t reject it. She simply tossed a pair of dressy boots in my direction and began to change into her dress.

“You could’ve chosen worse.” Marlene mulled. I smiled at her. New year. New Lenny.

“That hurts!”

“Well if you would just sit still…”

“I would be able to if you weren’t yanking so bloody hard!”

“I wouldn’t be pulling so hard if you would just sit still!”

“You two are bloody ridiculous, you know that?” Mary said, entering the room. I groaned as Marlene tugged at my hair again in her attempt to make it sit how she wanted.

“Lenny is letting me do her hair, but she won’t cooperate,” Marlene informed Mary. Mary chuckled, bouncing down onto Marlene’s bed. She was wearing a flowing skirt and a nice sweater. Her blonde hair was in loose curls around her face.

“Do you want to impress Black or not?” Mary asked me.

“Not.” I replied. They both glanced at each other and shared a worried look.

“How’d you even manage to convince her to go?” Mary turned to Marlene. I could see Marlene shrug in the reflection of the mirror.

“Didn’t give her an option.” Marlene pulled at my hair again as I let out a yelp.

“So I know the whole letter thing went down the drain, but Black seems to….I don’t know, genuinely care about you.” Mary was always the awkward one when it came to talking about feelings.

“Does that even matter?” I asked her. I didn’t care if Black really did care about me. That didn’t change anything.

“It should.” Marlene replied.

“Hate to say it, but you two would make a rather cute couple,” Mary added. Marlene snorted at Mary’s comment, but smiled all the same.

“We won’t ever be a couple. Black is…disappointing.” I didn’t know how else to explain it. I had set my expectations high, yes, but my expectations are still rather low to normal people. He had hurt me and I wasn’t going to let that type of pain hit me again. I couldn’t do that to myself.

“You’re telling me.” Mary mumbled in agreement. Marlene threw a pillow at Mary who laughed, dodging out of the way quickly.

“And that’s why Ravenclaw doesn’t stand a chance for the cup.” I told her. She glared at my reflection.

“So you aren’t going to snog anyone for the new year?” Marlene changed the subject.

“Probably not.” I shrugged. Mary’s face got red in the reflection of the mirror. “Do you, Mary?”

“I’ve got my eye on someone.” She said. Marlene raised her eyebrows.

“Who?” We both asked in unison.

“I don’t want to jinx it.” She mumbled. This must be a serious crush if Mary isn’t willing to babble about it. “What about you, Marlene?”

“Probably Teddy.” She said nonchalantly. I glared at her, but she smacked the top of my head with her hairbrush.

“Oi! That’s my brother! You cannot snog him!” I protested, despite the hit on the head.

“I can snog whoever I wish, Ms. Crowley.” Marlene returned my glare. I huffed, letting it go.

“Can we go now?” Mary whined. Marlene pulled one last time at my hair.

“Yes, Lenny is ready.” Marlene’s smile was just a little too large. I didn’t bother to look at my reflection. There really wasn’t a point. I wasn’t trying to impress anyone.


It was known that the Potter’s had a significant amount of money, but they were always very modest with it. Their two story home had roughly 3 bedrooms and just enough room for a growing Gryffindor to cause mischief. With all of its modesty, it was surprising that when you walked into their entertainment room, the room was extravagant items to contribute to amazing parties. There was a large muggle stereo and miscellaneous tables, furniture, and anything else you can possibly think of. It was like the Potters had invested most of their money into this one room and had been fine letting the rest go without the galleons that they could have put into their home.

I heard the music blaring from the entertainment room as I gave my jumper to the house elf waiting at the door. Marlene and Mary glanced at each other, joyful smiles on their faces. I didn’t know how I was supposed to react as they dashed down the foyer. I followed slowly behind. As we got closer, I could smell the aroma of alcohol and hear the chatter of people. Entering the entertainment room, I easily found myself trying to sink behind Marlene. People had cups in their hands, swaying to the music as they laughed along with one another.

“Lily!” Mary called, spotting the red head laughing with Alice. Lily waved all of us over to her. I followed.

“You look stunning, Lenny! It’s so good to see you!” Alice giggled, pulling me into a hug. I could smell the fire whiskey on her breath. She stumbled back, nearly toppling into Lily in the process.

“Someone had a bit too much to drink,” I commented. Alice just answered by a giggle.

“How are you doing, love?” Lily asked me, wrapping her arm around me as Alice took Mary and Marlene to get drinks.

“I’m fine.” I said stiffly. She raised her eyebrows at me.

“Remus said you locked yourself away again,” Lily was talking as though we were discussing our homework.

“I did.” I didn’t want to talk about myself.

“Why don’t we go get a drink?” Lily said. I nodded, glad for the distraction. Lily grabbed my elbow, guiding me pass Megan Thomas who was drunkenly whispering things into Cane Dean’s ear. We reached the drink table and James was enthusiastically gesturing around to some sixth years about the Quidditch team. Lily smiled, attempting to hide any sign of affection.

“Girls!” James shouted upon spotting Lily and I next to him. He wrapped an arm around Lily’s shoulders and grinned when she didn’t shrug him off.

“Drinks, Potter.” I demanded. He tilted his head to the side at me.

“You look better than I expected you to.” He commented. Was that supposed to make me feel better?

“James.” Lily scolded.

“Can I have that drink?” I asked. James reached behind him, coming up with a red plastic cup. I took it greedily, taking a long drink from it. I could tell James wanted to say more, but with Lily at his side, he held back.

“Well, Ms. Crowley!” I heard the slur before I saw Ludo Bagman’s face appear next to me, a large drunken smirk on his face.

“What is he doing here?” Lily hissed at James. James’s face flushed red.

“My parents make me invite everyone.” James mumbled. Ludo ignored Lily’s comment, his eyes still trained on me.

“You look ravishing.” Ludo said in my ear, placing his arm around my waist.

“And you look like a tool,” I replied, pushing his arm off of me. He didn’t look the least bit affronted by my actions.

“Why don’t you slither away, Bagman?” James asked not so politely. Ludo let out a barking laugh at this.

“Why don’t you go shag Evans in a different room and leave the rest of us alone?” Ludo countered.

“That was very clever, Bagman.” James retorted sarcastically. I felt my hands begin to shake, recalling the abuse Bagman had put me through.

“Go away, Bagman.” I growled. He turned towards me again, smirking at me. He went to open his mouth, but someone cut him off.

“You heard her. Get lost.” Ludo spun around and I looked behind him. Sirius stood there, his fists balled at his side and a scowl on his face. His dark hair was flipped away from his face, revealing the cold glare that was trained on Bagman. Bagman didn’t protest, scowling as he darted away from us.

“I need another drink.” I announced. Sirius’s hand was on my lower back, a warm smile on his face. I suddenly felt a little bit safer.

“Let’s get you one, then.” He told me. I allowed him to guide me around James and Lily (who were both grinning like mad at us).

“I can get it myself.” I protested, but Sirius already had placed a fire whiskey in my hand. I sighed in frustration. “What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?” Sirius asked, leaning up against the drink table. His arms folded and he looked way too dashing for his own good.

“This. Being all polite and talking to me like nothing has happened between us.” I explained. Sirius thought about this for a moment, taking his own drink and taking a slow swig of it.

“It’s about to be a new year, Lenny. An opportunity to change. I am seizing this opportunity.” He explained. Though I felt like he was hiding something.

“Why change? Why now?” I questioned. I saw a small pink brushing onto his cheeks.

“The old Sirius hurt you….the old Sirius was the one that ran from someone they care about. I’m hoping that maybe if a new Sirius came along….any type of Lenny would fall for him again.” Sirius’s eyes bore into mine. It was like he was searching through every bit of me to try and find some type of answer he was looking for. My mind was blank. I didn’t know what to think and the way my own eyes swam into him made it even that more difficult to find the words to say or the voice to speak anything.

“Sirius!” Remus called across the room, gesturing for Sirius to come towards him and play the drinking game he was about to start. Sirius didn’t move his eyes from my own.

“I hope that at the end of this night, you’ll be able to say yes to accepting the new Sirius. I would love to start out the new year with you.” Sirius whispered this to me, his hand brushing against my own as he swept around me and went towards Remus. I could feel my heart in my throat, pounding louder than the music around me. I was frozen to my spot. I didn’t know how to react. How was I supposed to react? Was I supposed to react?

I let out a yelp when something cold rushed down my back. At least I knew how to react to a drunk Hufflepuff spilling their drink on my back. Joy. I spun around, glaring at the fifth year Hufflepuff girl who was giggling, covering her mouth, her eyes wide. She couldn’t even muster up an apology? She was too caught up in her own small world to notice what she had done. Being a fifth year had its own adventures and now she had been invited to the prestigious New Year’s Eve Potter Party and she felt on top of the world.

“No apology? Nothing?” I asked her after her giggles somehow subsided. She blinked a few times, her dark eyes studying the wetness of my clothing and the empty drink in her hand.

“What happened to your sweater?” The girl asked, her voice slurring. I rolled my eyes at her.

“You spilled your bloody drink on me.” I told her, taking my wand out and waving it, the white sweater now back to its original state.

“Well, it’s all better now. No harm done!” She said with a shrug, smiling as she spun herself away from me. I sighed, rolling my eyes. “Doesn’t Black look positively delicious tonight? I know who I’m snogging at midnight!”

She was gone before I could protest. Somehow she had made her way through the crowd to Sirius, who she immediately began to flirt with, twirling her dark hair as she put the biggest smile on her face. I felt like I was watching a horrible movie. Sirius smiled warmly at her and I immediately felt my heart sink. His eyes slowly wandered away from the girl and over towards me, our eyes meeting. He let the girl put her hands around his neck, but he didn’t touch her back, still watching me, studying me. I turned away, willing myself to not look at him again. Hufflepuff could have him.

“Lenny?” Lily asked, coming up to my side. I could see the worried expression on her face, but I put the fake smile on and turned towards her.

“Let’s enjoy this….together.” I linked my arm in hers. She hugged my side as we took off towards the drink table. I glanced behind me to see Sirius still watching me, Hufflepuff still around his neck.

Author's Note: So we are... sort of nearing the end... shocked? I really hoped you liked this chapter! Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? It is only part one, don't you worry. We still have a whole different part of the party to read! Thank you all so much for reading my story. I really really really appreciate all the feedback I get.

Chapter 30: Potter's New Years Eve Party (Part Two)
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“And then he told me that his girlfriend probably wouldn’t be happy if he was snogging me! Can you believe that?” Mary slurred, nearly tumbling into me as she recalled the story of snogging Mitchell Chambers, who everyone knew was dating Avery White.

“That’s something else.” I mumbled, hoping that someone would come along and save me from the nightmare that was a drunk Mary Macdonald.

“Men are such tools.” Mary announced dramatically, taking a big swig of her red plastic cup.

“Agreed.” I said nonchalantly. Lily came up next to us, a large smile on her face, her cheeks slightly flushed.

“Well, look at you! Off snogging Potter?” Mary had a small glare in her eyes.

“Yes, in fact!” Lily responded. Mary was a bit taken back by this statement, but recovered easily.

“Well at least someone isn’t having horrible snogging experiences.” Mary huffed, turning away and disappearing between two Ravenclaws.

“What bit her in the arse?” Lily asked me. I sighed, looking into my own cup, seeing it was almost empty. Great.

“She snogged Mitchell Chambers,” I explained. Lily cringed.

“Isn’t he dating Avery White?”


“Oh dear.”

Lily chuckled, but dismissed Mary’s promiscuous ways. It really wasn’t surprising at this point. Lily really seemed that she wasn’t going to let anything ruin her good mood. She looked like she was on cloud nine. It was weird to me to see that James Potter made Lily this happy. James didn’t make people happy. James made people frustrated and irritated whenever he opened his mouth. At least that was how he made me feel. Didn’t he make everyone feel that way?

“Why do you like Potter? He’s a prick.” I asked, coming off a bit more rude than I intended. Lily didn’t let this bother her.

“He is at first….but when he lets his head deflate a bit, he can be rather charming and sweet.” Lily told me, glancing behind her and catching James’s eye across the room. James was animatedly talking to Sirius, but stopped mid sentence to grin stupidly at Lily. A blush crept up her cheeks.

“I find that hard to believe.” I mumbled. Lily sighed, looking right at me.

“You seem rather against the idea of love, Lenny.” Lily stated. I rolled my eyes.

“Let’s not get into that, Lils…” I told her, turning away and going towards the drink area and immediately grabbing a cup of…something. I couldn’t tell you what it was. Not that that mattered, honestly.

“Why can’t we get into that, exactly?” Lily asked, following me and watching me take a rather long swig of the drink. I felt it sting my throat, but that wouldn’t stop me from drinking.

Who would have ever thought at the beginning of the year that Lenny Crowley would be saying a comment like that? Times really have changed.

“You’re not getting me talking about Black.” I grumbled. Lily sighed, giving me the all-knowing look.

“You really need to talk to someone about him, Lenny.” Lily pried. I hated it when people pried into something.

“I do not.” I retorted. Lily wrapped her arms around my shoulders and guided me to a rather secluded corner of the family room we were in. To many, this probably looked like a loving gesture, pulling me aside and trying to talk to me. To me, I knew she was cornering me, making sure I couldn’t leave.

“I need to understand why you refuse to give him a second chance,” Lily whispered to me, glancing around to make sure no one overheard. I sighed, feeling my heart drop into my stomach.

“Black and I have never gotten along. We have always been the two people in Gryffindor who got along worse than you and Potter used to. It was ridiculous of me to think that our relationship could be anything but the horrendous mess it has always been.” I hated the look of sympathy painted onto Lily’s porcelain face. I didn’t want her to pity me. I didn’t want to be looked down upon.

“Everything has changed. Both of you have changed.” Lily pressed. I sighed.

“It doesn’t change that Lenny and Sirius just aren’t meant to be.” I told her. I could see her face fall at this.

“Well then….” I heard behind me. I spun around and saw Potter with his eyebrows raised at the pair of us. “I originally came to steal Lily from you….but I think after hearing that I’m going to steal you instead, Crowley.”

I stared in disbelief at James. It wasn’t a secret that James and I weren’t close. Hell, our relationship was almost as bad as Sirius and mine. James was always fast to back up Sirius whenever we argued about something. James was the one that made me do laps whenever I made a comment about any of the Marauders and their lack of talent. So when he linked his arm in mine, smiled charmingly at Lily, and guided me across the room and sat me down on a couch secluded from the rest of the guests, I was more than thrown off. I stared at him in disbelief for a couple of seconds, not sure why he would want to talk to me at all, let alone by himself.

“Here’s the thing, Crowley.” James began, pushing his glasses up his nose a bit. “Sirius is my best mate. We’ve been closer than close since our first year at Hogwarts. He’s always had my back and I will always have his. It’s how our friendship works. If he starts dueling with a Slytherin, I join in; if I start poking fun at Snivellus, he is right with me. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“No.” I answered. He rolled his eyes at me, but pretended he didn’t hear me.

“When L.C came along, Sirius became very wrapped in figuring out who she was. He became very entranced with L.C. Along the way, he fell in love with you. In him doing that, he distanced himself from me. I didn’t see my best mate as much. Yet he was still there. He was still the Sirius that had been my best mate for seven years. After recent…incidents he hasn’t been himself. He has been stuck in his own head for the past few weeks. He won’t talk to anyone. He refuses to even mention your name. The thing about Sirius is that he isn’t good talking about his emotions and that is all that is going through his head. Did you know the night he found out it was you, he woke me up and talked to me for hours about you? I think he knew all along that it was you, he was just too afraid to admit it to himself. He was too afraid to admit that he had let someone see the real Sirius Black. If there’s one thing that I dislike more than Sirius drifting away from me because of you, it’s seeing him hurt over you.”

“Potter, I appreciate your dedication towards your mate and your weird obsession with him, but I didn’t do anything to him. Well, I did, but that all ended rather abruptly when I wasn’t the girl that Black wanted me to be. I’m never going to be the girl that Black wants me to be. Your effort is noted, but not needed.” I informed him, trying my best to not notice the way he looked ready to make me run laps.

“That is the most sane response I’ve heard from you in all our years at Hogwarts.” James commented. I narrowed my eyes on him. It really wasn’t time for his dramatics.

That’s when it hit me. Why the hell would I, Lenny Crowley, care if someone was dramatic? Why would it even cross my mind that someone was supposed to be more serious about something? I was never serious about anything my entire life. I lived in my own world where nothing truly mattered. I walked to my own beat. Maybe it was a part of growing up, but immaturity was always my strong point. Maturity always seemed so far away to me. Yet I knew I couldn’t judge James for his immature ways, since that was what I had built my life around for several years.

“I guess all I truly have to say is: don’t hurt my best mate, Crowley. Even though you believe that you were the only one hurt in this encounter, Sirius took a blow as well and while he will not show the pain you have caused him, he is still hurt.” James explained. I furrowed my eyebrows at him in confusion.

“He was not the one that was led on-“ I began, but James cut me off with his own words.

“No, he was just led to believe that he was falling in love with two different women. You knew the truth all along and you didn’t bother to tell him. You are just as guilty as he is, if not more so. He was frightened upon realizing that L.C was a real person. He needed the time to process it all and by that time he had come to terms with it, you were already gone.”

“James Potter, don’t you dare try to pin this on me.” I growled at him. James crossed his arms, not ready to give up without a fight. When it came to his best mate, there was no turning back.

“Then don’t pin it all on him!” James retorted. I huffed angrily.

“I wasn’t the one who led someone on for months only to turn away from them when they are most vulnerable.” I hissed, my voice low so the group of Ravenclaws behind us couldn’t overhear.

“No, you just let a man get vulnerable and open up to you and then let them realize that you were hiding the biggest secret that would affect your relationship from him.” James responded. We were in a standoff and neither was ready to budge.

“I opened up to him too. It was not a one way street.” I whispered. I felt like James was hitting me in the chest over and over again. It was a blow straight to my heart and I felt my defenses that I had been building up for the last couple of weeks begin to crumble.

“Then don’t act like his trying to make things better is him groveling.”

“You need to stop, James.” I heard the soft voice of Remus from next to us. He glanced at me and I could see the pity in his eyes. I immediately hated it. I wanted to hit the look right off of him, but he was giving James a look that made James sigh and put his head down in defeat.

“I feel as though you out of all of the Marauders should be in favor of things working between the two of them.” James mumbled, getting off the couch.

“He’s right, you know. I should be the one that is lecturing you on this. I was the one rooting for you after all this time,” If Remus had glasses, he’d be giving me the Dumbledore look over them right now. Was it lecture Lenny day or something?

“I’m going to go pee.” I announced, getting off the couch and dashing across the living area and into the foyer. I sighed in relief. It was quiet out here and besides the snogging couple behind the front door, I was alone.

I leaned up against the wall and let my body slide down it and onto the cold floor beneath me. Maybe it hadn’t been a good idea to let myself get dragged to this party. If I had wanted to get lectured about my lack of a love life, I would have went with my mother and watch her drink far too many fire whiskeys. I felt as though I was getting ganged up on by everyone to give Sirius a second chance. Second chances were for the type of people who messed up the first chance. Why would I want to give someone a second chance when they can’t even get it right the first time?

I probably could have sat in this spot for hours, but contrary to what Potter and Remus probably thought, my excuse was legitimate. I really did have to use the loo.
The corridor leading to the stairs to the second level were lined with family portraits and photographs of James at multiple ages. I sometimes wished that I was an only child just to see my parents fawn over me the way parents who only have one child do. I stopped at the small photograph at the bottom of the stairs and saw James being held by his father when he was probably three, laughing as he was spun around like a muggle helicopter. I saw the loving, caring look James’s father gave the young child. I felt a pang hit me directly in the chest. I would not have my father give me that look ever again. Even if I visited him (which was highly unlikely), his eyes would be empty and soulless from the dementors. I cringed at the mere thought.

I watched as a giggling Alice came down the stairs by herself, damn near falling onto her face as her high heels threatened to collapse in on themselves at the way she stomped her feet. She smiled, tapping the heels as it echoed through the nearly empty corridor. She was obviously enjoying the sound way too much to notice that I was at the bottom of the stairs because she smashed herself right into me. I barely was able to hold both of us up as I stumbled into the wall. I was sure I was going to break something.

“Why hello Lenny!” Alice laughed into my ear. It is a bit sad when everyone else is drunk except for you.

“Alice, can you use yourself for balance?” I asked her rather pathetically. She nodded, pushing off of me and then stumbling into a side table, nearly knocking the way too fancy vase off of it.

“Don’t tell James I did that!” Alice said, her face flushing pink. I couldn’t help but laugh at her at this. Alice never let loose and seeing her actually enjoying herself was quite the sight.

“It’s between you and me.” I told her. Her smile widened at me.

“You’re such a good friend, Lenny.” Alice tried to reach out to me for a hug, but missed my shoulders by a long shot.

“And you’re drunk.” I responded. She nodded her head at me.

“That much is obvious,” She mumbled, bumping my hip a bit too hard as she stumbled for the living area to return to the party. I sighed and began to make my way up the stairs towards the bathroom when I heard her voice again.

“Hey Lenny?” She was quiet, looking up at me with her large, deer eyes.

“Yeah?” I responded, turning around so she knew she had my full attention.

“I’ve wanted to be your friend for a long while. We all have. I’m glad you gave us a chance.” She was somber. A small smile pulled at the corner of her mouth as she retreated into the living area. I smiled at her retreating back.

It may have taken seven years for it to happen, but being with these people made me feel a lot better than I have felt in the last years at Hogwarts.


I pursed my lips at my reflection. Hidden underneath the moderate make up and the oversized hair, I could see my large eyes and my thick hair. My lips were pushed out from my face and the bags under my eyes could be seen, no matter how much make up covered them. I tilted my head. Normally I didn’t pay this much attention to myself. Normally I didn’t even look in the mirror. In a way, I still looked the same from what I could remember.

Yet I was so different.

I sighed, washing my hands under the faucet and drying them quickly on the towel next to the door. I turned back to myself, giving a long look in the mirror. Lenny Crowley. Lenora. Bloody hell. I felt more insane then I’ve ever felt in my life.

I opened the door and leaning against the opposite wall was Sirius. He had one leg propped up against the wall and his arms were crossed. His black hair was flipped over his eyes as he was staring at the ground. When he heard the door open, his head darted up and he looked startled to see me. His eyes were innocent and he immediately unfolded his arms and pushed himself off of the wall, dragging a hand through his hair. I found myself admiring everything about him. Sometimes I wished he wasn’t so bloody attractive.

“Need to use the loo?” I asked, side stepping the doorway as I left the bathroom.

“Yeah, I do.” Sirius said, a small smile tempting to dance across his crystallized face.

Oh Sirius Black. What you do to a girl’s heart.

“I’ll get out of your way then.” I told him, but I found myself not moving. He tilted his head to the side, smiling a full smile at me.

“You can move you know, Lenny.” Sirius joked. The way my name rolled off of his tongue sent a shiver straight down my spine. It might have been the fire whiskey talking. It might have been the voices of everyone in my head. It might have been the last few months of the charming, loveable Sirius Black that made me stay in my spot, but I couldn’t move.

“I don’t know if I can.” I said honestly. His eyebrows furrowed at me as he looked at me amusingly.

“Why’s that?” Sirius asked. I took a step forward, needing to bring myself close to him.

“Everyone’s right, Black. I can’t deny how I feel about you or the chemistry we have.” I told him. I felt the words falling off my mouth. I truly barely knew what I was saying to him. I barely felt my words. I placed my hand on his arm, feeling the fire erupt at my touch.

“Lenny…” Sirius said slowly, placing his own hand over mine. I felt my heart sink at the way he sighed and easily glided my hand off of his arm. “Don’t get me wrong, I want these feelings from you. I want you to tell me that you care about me. I want you to tell me that you can forgive me for all that I’ve done. I want to want you to kiss me and not regret it. I don’t want people whispering it in your ear. I don’t want the pressure of everyone else make you think that giving me a second chance is all you can do. I want your love with no regrets or doubts attached, Lenny. If you can tell me with all of your blunt honesty that you don’t have a small voice in the back of your head telling you that kissing me would be a mistake, then do it. If that voice is there, even in the slightest, then please walk away.”

I stared at him, feeling fifty emotions swimming in my head. I didn’t know what to say. Sirius waited patiently, letting my emotions swim together in my head. He knew that I was trying to process everything. He knew that it always took me an extra second if I didn’t want to let my mouth run the show. Sirius knew who Lenny was and still wanted me to think it over and make sure I knew the decision I was making. Yes, maybe I thought a little bit too much and stayed in my head more often than I should, but Sirius knew all of this and was still willing to kiss me.

“Not like this.” I told him. “Not now. I want to be swept off my feet… I deserve a knight.”

It was true. I didn’t want a meaningful kiss with someone that I cared about to be outside of the loo at a New Years Eve party. If I was going to forgive him, it wasn’t going to be because I was too drunk to know any better. I needed a clear head and mind in order to make a sound decision about him. This was my love life, not a potion I was brewing in my lessons. I couldn’t just throw in whatever I felt like and hope that I didn’t lose my eyebrows (again). Love took balance and clarity and I needed to make sure that I could feel that away about him when my hormones weren’t getting the best of me.

Sirius nodded his head in understanding, furrowing his eyebrows. He wasn’t happy, but I knew he understood. With a small smile, he stepped around me and into the bathroom, lightly shutting the door. I frowned, but let myself leave the bathroom door because who wants to be that creepy person who can hear the person in the bathroom going pee? Not me, that’s for sure.


As I walked back into the living area, I noticed a few things. One: it was quarter to midnight. Everyone was by their significant others or paired with someone they thought was attractive enough to bring in the new year with. Two: Everyone was too far gone to realize who they were standing next to, let alone embracing much too closely. A prime example was Mary wrapped around a Hufflepuff 6th year with too much acne. Three: I was probably the only one in the room alone. Wait, Peter was over there in a chair! Scratch that, a petite girl sat down on his lap. If there is one thing worse than being a third wheel, it is being a… well, however many people were in the room.

Guess I was kissing fire whiskey to bring in the new year.


I grabbed a rather large bottle and entwined my fingers around it, crawling into the only arm chair that wasn’t occupied by snogging couples. How pathetic did I probably look right now? Meh, never mind that. I took a long swig of the fire whiskey. I found myself wondering what it would be like if I was cuddled with Sirius next to that fireplace or if I was being nuzzled by him behind the drink table. I ran my hand through my hair in frustration of letting these thoughts dominate my head. I remembered a time when I didn’t constantly think or wonder about Sirius.

Oh how I missed those times.

“Lenny!” I heard the call from across the room. I felt my stomach drop as I saw Ludo Bagman stumbling towards me, fire whiskey in his own hand. I groaned internally, but forced a small smile on my lips.

“What’s up, Bagman?” I asked him. What had made Potter invite Bagman here? Ludo sat down clumsily on the arm of the chair, nearly landing straight in my lap.

“You looked a bit lonely. I thought I could keep you company!” Ludo slurred. I felt my teeth clench.

“I’m fine, thanks.” I mumbled. Ludo ignored my comment and draped one of his large arms over my shoulder. I felt dirty with his arm around me. I tried to shrug him off, but his heavy arm was too difficult to make budge.

“Bagman, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you to leave Lenny alone before the idea sticks.” I heard Sirius’s growl before I saw him. His eyes were narrowed and for the first time, I saw why he was almost a Slytherin.

“Oh sod off, Black. We were just having a good time!” Ludo glared straight back at Sirius, not skipping a beat. I practically saw Sirius’s veins bulging out of every centimeter of his body.

“One minute to midnight, everyone!” I heard Potter across the room.

“Just leave, Bagman.” Sirius said in a threatening voice. His fists clenched at his side. Instinctively, I reached out and squeezed his clenched fist. Immediately, he visibly unclenched every part of his body and his eyes flashed onto me. Bagman mumbled something incoherent and stumbled off of the arm of the couch, leaving us alone.

I didn’t let go of his hand.

“Twenty seconds!”

“I won’t let him hurt you again, Lenny.” Sirius told me, crouching down so he was in front of me. He placed both of his hands on my knees.

“I know you won’t.” I responded and for the first time, that was true. I felt like I finally trusted him.

He was my knight.

I saw his face visibly lighten up. He smiled at me and it was a genuine smile. It spread all the way up to his eyes. He squeezed both of my knees and I felt a shiver run down my spine. This is what this was supposed to feel like. I didn’t need him nuzzling my neck and I didn’t need him to snog me senseless. All I needed was the comfort of Sirius’s touch and knowing I could trust him. I needed his protection, though I’d never admit to it out loud.

“Do you trust me, Lenny?” Sirius asked me. The room suddenly got quiet as he looked at me, his eyes boring straight into my own. I thought about his question, his words spinning in my head, making me feel dizzy. I could feel his hot breath tickling my nose and I felt my stomach flip.

“Yes.” I said honestly.




“I’m going to protect you.” Sirius comforted me.

“I know you are.” I whispered.



Sirius’s lips met my own as everyone immediately cheered, confetti somehow falling from the sky. His lips molded into my own and I could stay like this forever. The soft innocence of the kiss made it all the more meaningful. He was gentle, yet caring. His hand went from resting on my cheek, the soft calluses leaving a tingle, to the small of my neck. He pulled me in, tentatively deepening our kiss. My heart jumped straight to my throat and I felt like my pulse was going at a speed unimaginable. I felt myself smiling against his lips, though I didn’t want to ruin our snog.

Though I didn’t want to have to do it, I pulled away slightly from him, our foreheads pressing against one another. Neither of us could stop smiling. I felt completely in bliss and I was sure the feeling was mutual. For once, it felt like this was finally falling into place. Sirius kissed my nose, letting a low chuckle come from his throat. This couldn’t be better. I couldn’t be happier.

“Happy New Year.” He said to me.

“Happy New Year.” I laughed.


Author's Note: The moment everyone was waiting for!!! Not only just for this chapter, but for Lenny and Sirius getting together!!!! AHHHH! Sorry it took so bloody long! I'm finally back from vacation and I am very glad I finally got this chapter out! Stayed tuned for the last couple chapters!!!

Chapter 31: McGonagall's Office
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I sighed, looking at the paperwork sitting on my desk. I had been the head of Gryffindor’s house for years. I have been a professor for longer. I knew how to deal with teenagers. Yet if there was one group of misfits that knew exactly how to get under my skin, it was the group of Gryffindor seventh years that would be coming into my office throughout today. They’d be telling me their plans for their future and I could already hear the jokes they would be making about it.

Every January, the head of houses met with their seventh year students and discussed what their plans were after school. We would also help them arrange meetings or ways to get interviews with where they desired to go. I had pamphlets and grades all in front of me of the eight Gryffindors. I thumbed through them. Black. Crowley. Evans. I pursed my lips and knew that these students were unpredictable. I wouldn’t know what they were going to say to me about their future. Did they even know what a future was? They were all so wrapped up in Hogwarts that I wasn’t sure they understood they were leaving this year.

“Professor McGonagall?” I heard the quiet peep of Samantha Rabot, the Gryffindor sixth year prefect. She had her head around my office door, her eyes large. She was always slightly afraid of me.

“Yes?” I asked. She blinked a couple of times, watching me watch her over the top of my glasses. I pursed my lips.

“Sirius Black is here.” She told me. Meeting number one. Joy.

“Let him in, then.” I told her. She nodded and clicked the door shut.

Sirius Black was a character in himself. He was charming, debonair, and very smart (though he would never tell anyone that). I felt sorry for the boy sometimes, being that he was so different from his pureblood, aristocratic family. I was happy, however, that he had managed to get out in the nick of time. He had too much potential to throw it all away. Yet he was in my office every other day for the past seven years. He could not find it in himself to behave for more than a week, no matter how many detentions he was given or how many times I threatened to expel him. It just seemed to egg him on more.

“Professor dearie! You look lovely today.” I heard Black’s chipper voice as he entered, showing me his award winning smile. I sighed, pursing my lips at him. For some reason, he found the need to attempt to flirt with me to no avail.

“Please sit down, Mr. Black.” I said dryly. The smile didn’t come off his face as he took the chair opposite me and kicked his legs up over the side, practically lying on the chair. I felt a bit of anger flare in me at this. “Sit properly in that chair, Mr. Black.”

“You don’t like to make a lad feel at home.” He mumbled, placing his feet on the ground. His smile never faltered. Ignoring his comment, I set his grades in front of him. He glanced at them, but didn’t seemed too concerned.

“Those are your grades over your time at Hogwarts.” I began. “Like I told you fifth year, I believed you should have challenged yourself more. You have so much potential and it is such a shame to see your cleverness go to waste on your pranking.”

“Are you flirting with me, Minerva?” Sirius asked, smirking as he leaned forward, wiggling his eyebrows at me. This boy really knew how to get under my skin.

“We must think about your future, Mr. Black. What are your plans?” I tried to get him to act serious (no pun intended) for a moment. He sighed, obviously knowing that he wasn’t leaving until this question was answered.

“I don’t know.” He mumbled. I figured as much would come from him. I didn’t expect him to have any definite plan. Black barely planned for the next day.

“I thought you might say that.” I said, placing a few pamphlets out in front of him. He scooted forward, glancing down at the pamphlets. “I had a couple of ideas for you.”

I watched patiently as Sirius picked up the pamphlet on the Ministry and about entry level positions. I did not think he would even think about that position, but I had to give him options. He frowned when he saw the business robes the man on the front was wearing. He immediately set it down without flipping it open. He then picked up the pamphlet on Aurors. I smiled as he opened it, knowing this was the right choice for him. He let his eyes wander over it and I could see his eyes lighting up at every word he read.

“This one.” He said simply. I nodded, going to my left and going through the papers I had available to me.

“You have the proper grades to become an Auror and the right qualities as well. You must be aware that being an auror brings a lot of danger into a young man’s life. Are you prepared for that?” I asked him. His eyes were gleaming and I knew that anything I said would not matter to him at this point.

“I can handle it,” He told me, his chest puffing out slightly. I handed him the summer training program for Aurors.

“You must attend every training session and exceed the trainer’s expectations. When you do, you then must become a trainee and do all the Auror’s dirty work. Only then can you become one. Are you okay with that, Mr. Black?” I asked him. He pursed his lips slightly, but nodded his head again.

“I can.” He reassured me. I nodded. I knew he could.

“Well then off you go, Mr. Black. Nothing more I can do here.” I told him. He kicked himself off of the chair and started towards the door. I went back to the paperwork in front of me.

“McGonagall?” I heard. I looked up to see Black was turned around at the door.

“Yes?” I questioned.

“It’s been a good few years, yeah?” He asked, a small smile playing on his lips. I found myself smiling along with him.

“It’s been interesting.” I informed him. He chuckled and then left.

He never ceased to amaze me.

“Professor?” I heard the calm voice of Remus Lupin as his head poked around the office door. He had a rather large scar from the outside of his eye down to the middle of his cheekbone. I smiled warmly at him. He always had that kind of effect on me.

“Come in, Mr. Lupin.” I informed him. He slid around the door, clicking it shut behind him.

In a way, I dreaded this meeting. Remus thought so little of himself because of his “problem”. He didn’t think he could do the things other students could do. He always stood back in the shadows, letting his friends become the Quidditch stars or letting other students get the awards for each class. He always did well, but held himself back from being at the top. Unfortunately when it came to job searching, this was something where he couldn’t be number one. I wasn’t even sure he could be number two.

“You have fantastic grades, Mr. Lupin. You’re nearly at the top of every class.” I began. I didn’t know how I was supposed to let him down easily with this.

“Professor?” He interrupted me. I looked up from my hands to see him with a small smile on his face. “I’m aware of my predicament. I wasn’t really expecting much from this meeting. It is quite all right for us to end it just like this.”

I felt useless to the poor boy. I felt like he was the professor. Though Lupin would be a great teacher, there wasn’t a school within kilometers that would be willing to take on a werewolf. It was just too dangerous no matter how delicate and gentle his human form was. Remus was the kindest, most well-rounded student I had seen come through my door in ages and it was unfortunate his situation. I tried to smile at him, but knew it would do no good given the circumstances.

“I am still going to try for you, Remus. Mark my words.” I told him. He chuckled and nodded, though I knew he had no hope.

“Have a good day, Professor McGonagall.” He told me, getting up and clicking the door shut lightly behind him.

Next was Peter Pettigrew. He sat in front of me, his round cheeks growing red as he tried to sit still, but squirmed slightly in his seat. He fidgeted with his hands and tried to calmly await me to begin the meeting. There was always something a little off about Peter. He was nice and a gentle boy, but he always lacked a certain spark his friends had. He was always in the background, never too keen to shine through the Marauders. He was shy and quiet, which was strange for a Gryffindor.

“All right Peter. What do you want to do after Hogwarts?” I asked him. He shuffled in his chair and looked up at me through his thick eyelashes.

“Err… What did Sirius and Remus say?” He asked me. I pursed my lips. Always too fast to want to follow the crowd.

“I did not ask what they want to do, Pettigrew. I asked you what you want to do.” I repeated. He cleared his throat and tried to glance at the pamphlets in front of me. I covered them with my hands. I wanted him to think for himself for once.

“Something easy?” He said, though his statement sounded more like a question. I sighed. He was always trying to take the easy way out of things.

“Peter, when you were younger, did you not aspire to be anything when you grew up? What did your future look like when you entered Hogwarts?” I asked him, trying my best to pry him open a bit.

“I just wanted to graduate, Ma’am.” He mumbled. I wanted to rip out my hair, but knew I would have to wait until I got through these damn meetings.

“What did you dream of being, Peter?” I repeated, this time more stern.

“My own person.” He told me. I blinked a couple times. That may not have been the answer I was looking for, but it sure was a start. His own person. I nearly smiled at this. I leaned back in my chair, pursing my lips as I watched his cheeks start to turn red again.

“Well, Mr. Pettigrew….I think I might have something for you, then.” I told him. I reached forward and grabbed a pamphlet in front of me and handed it to him. I watched as his eyes darted across every inch of the pages. He flipped it open and hunched over it. He looked up at me with hope gleaming in his eyes.

“Department of International Magical Cooperation?” He questioned me. I smiled at him and nodded.

“I think it would be a good fit. Take the pamphlet and read it over. If it interests you, I can set up an internship for the summer.” I explained. He nodded and was out of the room in a dash.

Next was Mary McDonald. Sadly, I saw her a lot during the last few years. Mainly for bullying. It was rather hard to explain to her that she was actually not better than everyone she encountered. The good news was that she always had one talent (and one talent only). She always had a way with words when she wrote her papers. It may have been a Troll paper, but the way she worded things made it get an Acceptable. I had spoken to the Daily Prophet and sent them a couple of her essays and they agreed to take her on as an intern. She was beyond joyed when I told her. Mary was always a hit or miss. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she told me no.

Alice Logan sneaked in after her. She smiled sheepishly at me, taking the seat in front of me. Alice Logan was the quietest Gryffindor I had seen in a long time, yet she had something about her that lit a fire in the Gryffindor house. She brought her own cards to the table and that was always something we professors treasured. She was very unpredictable; you never knew what she was really going to do. I watched as Alice waited so patiently for me to give her something, anything to do. A slowly slid a letter I received from the Head Auror at the Ministry. They wished that she would come begin the auror training this summer. She was shocked (the same way I was when I had received the letter). It wasn’t something we expected, but she was grateful to ‘give it a go’.

“Hello Ms. Evans.” I said to Lily Evans as she came into the room, not even knocking. I didn’t expect her to. Her relationship with me was rather strong. Stronger than I had experienced in a while. Lily had discipline, drive, and independence. She was a true Gryffindor. The bravest soul resided in this one girl.

“Hello Professor!” She said cheerfully, sitting down in front of me. I wouldn’t have noticed if she had gotten no sleep over break. She was always cheerful and bubbly.

“Let’s get right down to business, shall we?” I told her, clearing my throat as I grabbed my cup of tea and took a sip. It wasn’t easy when it came down to trying to figure how I was going to go about this meeting. I didn’t know if I wanted to guide Lily in a certain direction or if I wanted to present her with what I had and let her pick.

“What do you want to do with yourself, Lily?” I asked her. She looked slightly shocked at my question. She had expected to come in here and me to tell her what she had available to her.

“What do you mean, ma’am?” She asked me, furrowing her eyebrows. She tucked her red hair behind her ear.

“I’ll be very honest with you, Ms. Evans.” I told her, pursing my lips. “You have perfect grades. You are very active in the school. You have the world at your fingertips. I have received many offers for internships and positions for you without even sending anything out. So what I want to know is what you want to do, Ms. Evans.”

She took a deep breath, letting her mind collect itself. I could see the engines going in her mind, trying to make sense of what I have said. I knew that I had thrown her for a loop, but that was my intention. I didn’t want Lily to think that her future was set for her by just walking through a door. That was never my intention. I wanted her to know she had options. More than she was aware of. I needed to know that she would be happy in what she was doing. That was all that mattered.

“I don’t know what I want to do, Professor.” Lily said, looking up at me with her big green eyes. I was reminded of when she was a first year and didn’t know what to think of the large castle. She was so innocent and pure that I had to smile at her.

“I don’t expect you to, Ms. Evans. I just want you to listen to your heart. What do you like to do? What do you enjoy doing?” I asked her.

“Well…” She started, blinking a couple of times as she thought of the one thing she hadn’t thought of in a long time: herself. “I like to help people. I want to do something meaningful with myself.”

“That’s a start.” I told her, grabbing a couple of letters and placing them in front of her. “I think these are a few of your options then.”

I let her study them. She read each through carefully and let them process in her mind. It was a big decision. The first I had passed her was a healer internship. It would give her the opportunity to help the helpless people and feel good about herself. The second I had passed to her was the auror position. She needed to be doing something meaningful with herself and Lily Evans was a bit aggressive to be honest. Being an authority figure would do her well.

“Can I think about this?” Lily asked hopefully. I expected her to think about it. I didn’t want her to come up with her answer right away for me. I wanted her to weigh the options and the pros and cons.

“Absolutely. I would hope you would, Ms. Evans!” I told her. She nodded, reaching forward and shaking my hand. That was something that I wasn’t used to when it came to my students.

“Thank you, Professor McGonagall. I really appreciate it,” She said, a warm smile attacking her face. I chuckled to myself as she walked out of my office.

It was ten past two. Lenora Crowley’s appointment with me was at two. I really hadn’t expected her to be on time. You never could expect too much from Ms. Crowley. She just would occasionally surprise you or amaze you. Lenora was unpredictable. I never was able to tell if that was a bad or a good thing with her. Her timing needed some work, but at least she was developing into a young lady (finally). With all of the constant changes in her life in the past year, I was surprised she was still walking on two feet. Her father was in Azkaban, her mother was living with the Lupin’s, and her social life was coming out of nowhere.

I heard a rather loud crash outside of my office door and it made me nearly jump straight out of my chair. It sounded like someone had ran full force into the armor outside of the door. I quickly got to my feet, dashing towards the door and pulling it open. Oddly, I wasn’t too surprised at what I saw. Lenora was laying on the floor, pieces of armor all around her. She even had the helmet resting over her head. She groaned, pushing as much as she could off of her, with no regard to the armor. Upon seeing me staring at her, she froze on spot.

“You’re late.” I informed her. She stumbled to her feet, more armor scattering around the hall.

“Y-yes I’m sorry. I was just…uhm…” I could tell she didn’t want to quite tell me what she was doing. Seeing her relationship with Sirius Black lately, I was not sure I really wanted to know.

“Let’s go then,” I said, stepping aside to let her in. With red cheeks, she scurried in, taking the seat opposite my own. I slowly walked around my desk and took the seat opposite of her. I let her sit in the silence for a moment. She did not like it. Lenora always had to be doing something. Sitting still was not her forte.

“Lenora…” I began, looking down at my desk. I had worked for a while on Crowley’s file. She was a different breed. It was impossible to predict what she would be good at with her ever-changing ways. “I do not really know where to begin.”

“I have bad grades.” She began for me, looking down into her palms. “I’m not very active in activities. No one made an offer for me, did they.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. I sighed, folding my hands on my desk and looking over at Lenny, studying her. She hadn’t come in here with the intention of hearing anything promising. She had expected me to tell her to begin applying for jobs in Diagon Alley. I had honestly thought about it. That was until someone reached out to me. Someone, who I had known for a very long time, took interest in Lenora Crowley. They thought she had spark and drive. They read her essays and had even came to her Quidditch games and seen her drive. They wanted Lenora, and even though I would not have recommended this place to her in the beginning, I was loving the idea of it.

“You’re wrong, Ms. Crowley.” I told her. She looked up at me confused.

“Wrong?” She repeated. I nodded at her. Holding the folded letter in my hands.

“You have an offer. It is something that I would have never considered before receiving this letter, really.” I began to explain. “You are right. Your grades are barely passing and the only thing you are active in is Quidditch. Yet, someone took the interest and the initiative to watch you and to see that you would be a great fit for their company.”

“What place is it?” She asked eagerly.

“I just want to talk to you about it first….before I just give you the letter.” I explained. It probably wasn’t something she thought about doing before. It probably wasn’t something anyone considered she’d be able to do.

“All right, hit me Professor!” She said, sitting up straighter and smiling. I kept the straight face, but I was secretly smiling at her enthusiasm.

“You hurt yourself a lot, yes?” I said. She nodded. It was true. Lenny was always getting herself injured. “You know a fair few spells to heal yourself?”

“A few. Nothing substantial.” She said. I nodded at her.

“Now, think of Potions class.” I began. She cringed. I expected that.

“I blow things up. A lot.” Lenny answered. I smiled at this. I couldn’t keep my straight face. I couldn’t count the amount of times Professor Slughorn came to me and told me the stories of Lenora blowing up cauldrons.

“Yes, but you produce good healing potions. Maybe not any other type, but good healing potions. You also have a very good understanding of the medical uses of many different herbs and magical ingredients, which you will not find in your classmates.” It was true. Lenora received flying colors in her essays in Potions, just not particularly the cauldron.

“I just want to be able to know what the purposes are of fairy dust in case I need it someday.” She said with a shrug. She was horrible at taking compliments, really.

“You are also extremely driven and you drive your own broom.” I kept explaining. I could see the blush beginning to creep its way onto Lenora’s cheeks. “That is why these people took interest in you, Ms. Crowley.”

That was when I passed her the letter. She slowly took it, afraid to look at it. I nodded towards it and she eventually looked down. Her eyes scanned every inch of the parchment, making sure to soak it all in. When I had first heard that St. Mungo’s wanted Lenora Crowley to be a healing intern, I barely was able to comprehend what they were saying. I immediately got a hold of the healer in charge to make sure that this wasn’t some sort of mistake. It wasn’t. They explained how they thought she had unbelievable potential. I couldn’t agree more with them and was excited that someone had seen what I had seen the minute she had walked into Hogwarts.

“St. Mungo’s? They want me to be a healer?” She said, looking up at me. Her large brown eyes looked at me in pure wonder. “Is this real?”

“You need to believe in yourself a bit more, Ms. Crowley.” I told her. She smiled at me and even though she will never admit it, I could have sworn I saw tears building in her eyes.

“Thank you, Professor.” She whispered and I could feel the sense of accomplishment swim over her and splash onto me. I felt as though the last seven years had paid off. I felt that the detentions I had to sit through with this girl had made it all worthwhile right now.

“You are very welcome, Ms. Crowley. Now get along. I’d hate to take you from Mr. Black for too long,” I informed her. Her cheeks began to burn as she nodded her head, dashing out of the room. I sighed, leaning back in my chair.

There was a soft knock on my door. Knowing who it was, I immediately sat up straighter. I cleared my throat and Albus Dumbledore came floating into the room. His robes billowed behind him as his warm smile met me. I smiled back as he danced over towards the seat opposite me. I felt strange being in the authority position. He crossed his legs, blinking a couple of times. He was an old, trustworthy friend, not just a colleague. Dumbledore was the reason I was a professor.

“Well?” He asked. I pursed my lips slightly.

“They are an interesting group,” I confirmed our conversation from earlier. “But they would make great additions to the Order. All of them.”


Author's Note: We are almost at the end!!! ONE MORE CHAPTER TO GO!!! I love you all and thank you so much for your dedication to the story and your amazing comments. I could not have done this story without all of you.

Chapter 32: Valentine's Day
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The Entrance Hall was deserted of people. I looked up at the clock to notice it was eight. It wasn’t even moving. Normally everyone was up by now! It was a little too eerie. My footsteps echoed on the stone stairs as I descended, looking around for a sign of anyone. Not even the portraits were moving on the wall. The windows were dark and ominous, almost like it was pouring rain outside, but you couldn’t see the rain at all. The air was thick and it was difficult to breathe. I stepped into the Entrance Hall and could see my breath.

Then suddenly it all changed. The windows opened and sun suddenly lightened the whole room. The fresh air hit my face and I could breathe again. The room was filled with warmth. The portraits began to move and chatter with one another. Students came from outside and from behind me to enter the Great Hall. No one seemed to stop and take notice of the sudden change except for me. They all went along on their busy ways, trying to make it to breakfast before the first class of their day. I blinked a couple of times, trying to adjust myself to the sudden change.

“Lenny? Love?” I heard. I turned around and saw Sirius coming down the steps, except he wasn’t looking at me. In fact, it was like he was looking through me. He crumbled his eyebrows as he took the steps in a leap and looked around through the students. He brushed right past me without even noticing I was there. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. “Bloody hell.”

He sighed in defeat and went towards the Great Hall, but it was then that he noticed me. His eyes lit up and his whole body seemed to straighten up. I found myself smiling. It was like I had been invisible and now suddenly he could see me again. He came forward, slowly. Flowers grew from his hands, dozens of lilies in a beautiful bouquet. I gasped at them. They were phenomenal. He reached out without a word and handed them to me. I took them in my hands and let the scent wash over my nose. He immediately brought me in closer and kissed me deeply. I felt all worry and all pain wash away in one simple kiss. It was like he could make the worst of pains disappear with his lips.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, love.” He whispered against my lips. I smiled against his own.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” I responded.

“Bloody hell Lenny, WAKE UP!” I pulled the blankets over my head, hoping to drown out Mary’s excessively loud voice. It was worth a try.

“Leave me alone.” I mumbled into my pillow. I felt her try to tug on my blanket. Ha. I’m a Quidditch player. I had strength on my side opposed to her scrawny little arms.

“It’s Valentine’s Day! Don’t you at least want to attempt to look good for your boyfriend?” Mary tried. I grumbled. I really didn’t care how I looked, to be honest.

“This is Lenny Crowley you are trying to get out of bed, not you. You’re not going to get her out by giving her makeup and cute clothes.” Lily’s voice came from the bathroom.

“It’s her first Valentine’s Day with Black! Neither of them have ever had a significant other for Valentine’s Day! We’ve got to set the bar high for that bloke,” Mary told Lily. It was true. Sirius had always found ways to break up with his girlfriends right before Valentine’s Day to avoid the hassle of the big holiday. Except this year. This year he had me.

“He’s a romantic. I’m sure he’s got something planned.” Lily drawled.

Did he? I wondered if he did. Lately, all we had been doing is snogging in corners of the castle and staying up late together talking….and snogging. It really wasn’t like we had gotten the opportunity to spend real boyfriend/girlfriend time together. It really had only been a month or so since we had started dating in the first place. I hadn’t expected much. Not that I was complaining. Sirius was an amazing snogger and I was having difficulty removing my lips from his anyways.

“The lad hasn’t celebrated a Valentine’s Day. Ever. You really think he knows what the bloody hell he’s doing?” Mary asked Lily. I was glad to be out of the conversation.

“Nevertheless, I agree with Mary…surprisingly.” Came Alice’s voice. I groaned. “Sirius hasn’t had a real Valentine’s Day and if Lenny shows up at breakfast in rags, then he is going to think the holiday isn’t a big deal to her and he will not do anything.”

“It’s not a big deal to me,” I grumbled. They all ignored me. I really despised girl logic. I didn’t understand it and it apparently didn’t understand me. Valentine’s Day wasn’t that big of a deal. It really wasn’t. Sure, it would be nice to have Sirius do something other than snog me, but who was I to complain?

“Fine, but nothing too over the top. Sirius will know we got her ready.” Lily gave up, sighing with agreement. No, Lily! Don’t give up! Don’t let them do this to me!

“Ohhhhhh Lenny!” Mary said in a sing-song voice, finally managing to rip the covers completely off of me. I rolled into a ball and groaned. This wasn’t going to happen. I peeked open an eye and looked at the clock. Bloody 5:30?! Now this really wasn’t going to happen! I snapped my eyes shut and protested a great deal when Mary began to shake me.

“It’s bloody five thirty in the morning. I am not getting up!” I growled, squeezing my eyes shut tighter in hopes this would get my message across. It didn’t. With one swift shove, Alice and Mary both managed to shove me right out of bed and onto the floor. The cold floor greeted me with what I knew would be a large bruise on my rear.

“That’s one way to do it.” I heard Lily’s voice as she emerged from the bathroom. I was now full awake, much to my own dismay. I glared at them all, but they didn’t seem too concerned with my evil look.

Bloody great. It was like Halloween all over again.


“There. Perfect!” Mary squealed, clapping her hands together. I felt like my skull was on fire. I wanted to itch my face but when I had went to do it five minutes ago, I got my hands slapped away rather viciously.

I spun around to look at myself in the mirror. I felt like a muggle doll that you gave to children. My hair was straight and then it waved down at the bottom. I had light pink lip gloss on. My eyes had so much make up on them that I felt as though they would close on their own, and not because I was tired. There was a pink tinge to my cheeks, one that I normally gave myself anyways whenever I opened my mouth. They put a pair of darker pants on me and a black, low-cut blouse with dark blue polka dots all over. Who the bloody hell wore polka dots.

“He’s going to know I didn’t do this.” I told them. Lily shrugged.

“At least he’ll know that someone attempted to make you look decent for the holiday.” She told me. I looked at the clock. Is this why women got up before the sun to get ready? It was suddenly 7:30.

“Breakfast, yes?” Alice smiled. My stomach growled in response. Their lip gloss would be gone in no time.


Luckily, the girls had allowed me to wear flats. I wasn’t sure what I would have done if they would have put me in those high heels again. Probably would have made a bigger fool of myself than I had already had. When we made it to the Entrance Hall, I suddenly didn’t feel so out of place in my get-up. Girls were at every corner of the Entrance Hall, giggling and joking with one another. Most of all, everyone was dolled up, looking like they had woken up just as early as I had. Boys were slowly making their way into the Entrance Hall as well. Some looked like they had actually made an effort in their outfit (these were the boys who had just started their relationships). Some looked like they couldn’t care less. Most of all, they were carrying some sort of present for their significant other. I grinned when I saw a fourth year hand a box of chocolates to his new girlfriend.

“You don’t even have someone to give you chocolates, Mary. Don’t grimace at that poor boy looking ready to vomit!” Lily hissed towards Mary, who must have been looking at the same couple.

“I’m sure I’ll get something from someone. I am Mary McDonald, afterall.” Mary boasted, shoving her nose in the air. I looked at Lily and we both rolled our eyes. The ego of that girl never ceased to amaze me. Suddenly I saw Marlene shoving her way past a group of third years as they swooned at a sixth year boy. She was dressed up too, but she was a lot more subtle about her outfit.

“Oh bloody hell! They got you, huh?” Marlene joked, smirking as she sized me up.

“Doesn’t she look wonderful, Marlene?” Lily asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. Marlene held back all of her snide comments and simply nodded her head.

“Just smashing.” Was all she should manage to say. I glared at her but she just continued to smirk.

“Who the bloody hell are you dressed up for?” I asked her. Last I remembered, she didn’t have a boyfriend. Or so I thought. I was bad at keeping track of things.

“If you stepped out of the broom cupboard every once in a while and stopped snogging Black, then you’d have heard that your brother asked me out on a date today!” Marlene announced this rather loud, obviously trying to fend off any single girls who were hoping Teddy Crowley was going to bring them flowers. I thought I saw a few girls out of the corner of my eye start to cry.

“My brother?” I repeated, not really believing it. Marlene was too feisty for him. She had too much attitude for him. Teddy was more down to earth than her (which was saying a lot because he really wasn’t down to earth at all).

“Yup. Finally got all the hints I was dropping, apparently. Must have not realized that today was Valentine’s Day. Poor bloke. Now he’s got higher expectations!” Marlene smiled to herself as she turned, skipping away. I frowned. Poor bloke was right.

“Teddy is in for quite the surprise himself.” Lily mumbled, shaking her head. I shrugged. Not my problem.

“Oh Frank, these are so gorgeous!” Alice shrieked, causing all of us to turn in her direction. Frank was holding an overly large bouquet of flowers of various types in front of Alice, blushing from behind them. She ignored the flowers, wrapping her arms the best she could around the nervous man. He let out a sigh of relief upon getting the first step done right.

Suddenly, Lily let out a shriek and I glanced over to see James covering her eyes. He had his common mischievous glint in his eyes as Lily tried to squirm out to see who was there, but he would not let up. I found I wasn’t the only one giggling at the scene as most of the Entrance Hall was now watching James and Lily. Lily wouldn’t relent as she tried to get out of James’s grasp, which he was just as stubborn as Lily and was holding his grip a little too tight. When I glanced around, I didn’t see Sirius or Remus, who were commonly right behind James in the mornings. I frowned to myself and looked back at Lily and James to see Lily smacking James on the arm as she had finally gotten free.

“A normal girlfriend would think that’s cute!” James defended himself from Lily’s ice cold glare.

“A normal girlfriend doesn’t expect to be blinded on Valentine’s Day!” Lily hissed at him. He put his hands up in defeat and reached into his pocket, pulling out a black box, that obviously held some type of jewelry.

“This make it up?” James asked, popping the box open and revealing a gorgeous emerald pendant. I gasped myself upon seeing it and Lily’s eyes lit up as James wrapped it around her neck.

“It’s a start.” She joked, hugging James in appreciation. I stepped forward.

“Hey Potter?” I asked. Lily let go and James furrowed his eyebrows at me. “Don’t mean to interrupt, but do you happen to know where Sirius is?”

“He had a rough night last night. Must still be sleeping.” James informed me, turning back to Lily and wrapping his arm around her as they went into the Great Hall. I frowned. I vaguely remembered Sirius saying he was having a “boys” night, but I didn’t think it would have rendered him so much worse than James. Normally they were always on the “same level”, as Sirius liked to put it.

Slightly disappointed, I followed the rest of the couples into the Great Hall. I hadn’t expected to make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day, but when push came to shove, I thought Sirius would have came through. We have only been a couple of months into our relationship. It was silly of me to try to hold him to such high expectations. I blamed the girls. They got me up at ridiculous hours and made me loopy. Sirius hadn’t went through a Valentine’s Day with a girlfriend, so he didn’t know what to do. I suppose neither did I.

I sat down quietly next to the Gryffindors. Lily had her hand on her pendant, grinning like an idiot at James. Alice was leaning her head against Frank’s arm as he whispered things in her ear that made her blush and occasionally peck him on the cheek. Mary was looking at her reflection in a spoon while a couple of seventh year Hufflepuffs were staring at her. She knew it. She perked up her breasts in the process and one almost fell right off of the bench he was on. I then glanced towards the Ravenclaw table to see my own brother handing Marlene a single rose. Bloody hell, even Teddy was good at Valentine’s Day and he wasn’t even dating Marlene.

Don’t be bitter, Lenny.

Just as I went to grab my pumpkin juice and bread, I saw out of the corner of my eye Remus and Sirius both come in to the Great Hall. They looked to be dragging their feet. Remus was pale and looked like he would be ill any second. I think there was a fresh cut that was obviously healed by the hospital wing right below his eyebrow. Sirius looked just as bad. He looked as though he had gotten no sleep. The bags under his eyes were huge and his hair was sticking up in multiple places. He was even wearing his pajamas still. Bloody hell. That was my boyfriend on Valentine’s Day.

“Hello, love.” He yawned, kissing the top of my head. He sat down next to me, immediately digging in to the nearest food to him, not even second glancing me. I felt my heart sink. Remus sat down on my other side and managed a small smile at me.

“Long night?” Lily asked, glaring at Sirius. She had worked too hard on me this morning to stay quiet about Sirius’s lack of enthusiasm. I felt my cheeks flush, probably the color of her hair being that I was already wearing blush.

“You know how we Marauders are!” Sirius said, smiling with a slight wince as he poured himself some tea.

“Apparently James is just fine. Why the bloody hell are you so horrid?” Lily growled towards him. James wrapped his arm around Lily to attempt to calm her anger, but it didn’t seem to work much. Sirius looked up with a raised eyebrow at the redhead.

“He crashed early.” Sirius explained.

“It’s my fault, really. I kept Sirius up,” Remus jumped in, looking ashamed. He wasn’t talking to Lily though, he was directing his comment towards me. I looked down at my pumpkin juice and took a sip, trying to stay out of the situation, even if it was about me.

“Black, do you even realize what day it is?” Mary asked and now all three of my roommates were giving him the nastiest looks they could muster. All of the boys at the table knew better than to help the poor lad out.

“Saturday?” Sirius tried. If there was one person who wasn’t intimidated by those three girls, it was Sirius.

“You look lovely today, Lenny.” Remus jumped in, attempting to help in some way. I smiled at him in thanks. That got Sirius’s attention as he looked at me, furrowing his eyebrows. I felt my cheeks grow warmer. Then he snapped his eyes back to the three girls.

“What the bloody hell did you do to my girlfriend?” He demanded. I bit my lip at that.

“If you weren’t so bloody thick!”

“You’re a sodding git, Black!”

“Are you really that stupid?!”

All the girls immediately began their attacks and I could barely hear what they were saying over each other’s shouting. I put my head down, mainly because they were defending me and my boyfriend couldn’t even remember what day it was. In his defense, he never had to remember this day before. He never had to make a big deal out of it. I never had to get dressed up for Valentine’s Day, so I didn’t know what it was like to feel the disappointment of the big day. Trust me, it was not something I wanted to feel any time soon again.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, sis!” I heard Teddy’s voice as he held out a rose in front of my face. I turned and smiled at him, taking the rose as he kissed me on the cheek, oblivious to the fact that Sirius was getting attacked. He waved at everyone and walked away. The table was silent.

“Lenny…” Sirius began, turning towards me. I could see the disappointment in himself evident in his eyes. “I am so sorry.”

“It’s all right.” I told him, trying to brush it off. I didn’t want it to seem like a big deal when it really shouldn’t have been. Sirius grabbed my cheeks and lightly turned my face towards him, his grey eyes not letting my own go.

“No, it is not. You are my girlfriend and I should not have forgotten this.” He told me. He kissed my nose and I think I heard Lily say ‘aw’. “I will make this up to you.”

“It’s not a big deal, Sirius. Really. It’s just another day.” I told him, making him let go of my face as I focused back on dipping my toast into my pumpkin juice. “Just another day.”

It was dropped after that. I felt a bit pathetic for letting the girls get me all dressed up for this. It was really just another day. I shouldn’t have let my hopes get so high for nothing. It wasn’t like Sirius and I had been dating for a year, it was only a few months. I really didn’t know how dating etiquette went, but I didn’t think that a few months entitled me to a full blown Valentine’s Day. I wanted to rub off my makeup and change out of these tight clothes. I wanted nothing more than to just hideaway in my dorm. I felt foolish.

“Ready, Lils?” James asked, pulling Lily to her feet.

“For what?” She asked. He smirked, but didn’t respond, pulling her out of the Great Hall. I felt Sirius squeeze my hand.

“I’ve got some things to finish up, but I will see you later, okay?” Sirius whispered to me. I nodded reluctantly. I really couldn’t decide what Sirius did, even if just simply spending the day together was something that I would have preferred. He kissed my head and ran out of the Great Hall.


The fire was roaring with heat and making me sweat, but I couldn’t find myself pushing the chair I was in further away. I just didn’t want to move. It was eight o’clock at night and I hadn’t seen Sirius since breakfast. So much for Valentine’s Day. I had already changed out of my ridiculous clothing and into a comfortable jumper. The makeup was gone. My hair was thrown up on top of my head. I no longer had high hopes for Valentine’s Day. Frowning, I continued my long stare into the flames.

I had Sirius Black. I had the guy. A year ago, I would have been telling myself to get rid of any notion of being with Black. That it was the stupidest thing I could ever think up. Last year all I could think about was making it to the summer so that Teddy and I could play some Quidditch together. I just wanted to make it home so that Father and I could mess around and find something interesting to do. It was never the same thing, it was always something more interesting than the last time.

I hadn’t received any updates on Father. Mum had been sending me a couple of letters, letting me know how Father was doing in prison. I think she did this just because she knew how close the two of us had been. She knew that deep down I’d want to know what was going on at Azkaban with him. When I didn’t respond to the first few, I think she received the message that I truly did not care, nor did I think I would be able to find the capability to care. I had blocked him out in my mind and that was the way I preferred to keep it.

There was a tapping coming from the far side of the empty common room. Irritated, I glanced over and saw a jet black owl tapping his beak on the window. I grumbled, looking around for someone to open the bloody window and let the bird in, but I knew I was alone. I rolled myself off of the arm chair and dragged my feet towards the window, slowly cracking it open so that the cold wind didn’t come in, but so the owl could. It quickly darted in, shaking its feathers as it ruffled on a side table. I slowly reached for the letter on its leg, actually getting it before the owl could peck off my fingers. It flew straight out once I got the letter. I sighed in relief.

Dearest L.C,

I first met you in our first year when all of the Gryffindor first years had to sit by each other. It was all alphabetical, so you had to sit next to me. You didn’t say a word, just kept staring at your brother, who had gotten sorted into Ravenclaw. I knew what it was like to feel alone. I was the only Black in Gryffindor. I leaned over to you and told you we could be the two “outcasts of Gryffindor”. You gave me the dirtiest look and told me “Nargles will eat you in your sleep if you don’t leave me alone!”. That was when I first realized you had the most original mind in the entire world. It was also when I realized that you were not one to trifle with. You would send nargles on me.

I smiled at this. I remembered watching with dismay as Teddy got sorted into Ravenclaw. We were supposed to be together, like we always were. I hadn’t known what to do. I felt betrayed, though I knew it wasn’t Teddy’s fault. He was smart and deserved to be a Ravenclaw. I was actually surprised I wasn’t a Hufflepuff. I was a little strange, afterall. That was when Sirius had leaned towards me and asked to be the weirdos together. I part of me wanted to tell him yes, just so I could have a friend. Then my mouth opened first and he didn’t talk to me again.

I first admitted your beauty when Remus had pressured me into it. I wish he hadn’t. I wish I would have admitted it on my own. I should have. I should have told you a long time ago that I thought you were beautiful. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met in my life. You were just too perfect and that scared me. I told you “You’d be kind of attractive if I didn’t loathe you.” Little did I want to admit that I didn’t loathe you as much as I tried to convince myself. I was attracted to you in a way I never felt before and that scared me, love. You told me that I looked like wrackspurst would want to nest in my hair and that I had small ears and I was lucky my hair covered it up. I hadn’t known what to say. I just was too intimidated that you actually knew I found you beautiful. Or at least had a small idea that I did.

I first realized my attraction to you when I heard Bagman ask you on a date. I had the jealousy bubble up in me when he had kissed your cheek, simply stating the double date was to help you out. It wasn’t. I could see his secret agenda and I didn’t like it. I watched him from that moment, making sure he didn’t hurt you. Making sure that you were safe. I never wanted you to be hurt by him. I would have to make sure of that. And then when he was at the Halloween party and he cornered you…. I wasn’t going to let him near you again, Lenny. I felt protective over you.

I first kissed you at the Masquerade Ball. I didn’t have to know who you were, I just cared so greatly for you that I needed to do it. Your letters made me fall for you. Your charm, your grace, and your stand-offishness is what made me realize that you were the girl. You were that girl. You were the girl that I could love. It had scared me at first, but because I never got to take off your mask, you weren’t a physical person. You weren’t someone who could make me vulnerable and scared of myself. Looking back, it makes sense that Teddy punched me. He was protecting his sister.

I first realized I loved you at two different moments. The first time was after the ball and after you were gone. I missed you. I wanted to have you in my arms again. I wanted to kiss you again. And again. And maybe again. The second time was when you kissed me in the common room. It was after you left that I realized my horrible mistake by pushing you away. I knew I had hurt you the minute I pushed you off my lap and I knew there was nothing that I could do to turn that around. At least not at that moment. I knew I was going to have to make it up to you in some other way.

I do love you. More than anything. You are my world, Lenny Crowley. It may have taken me this long to admit it and realize it, but you are the first and only woman that means this much to me. To show you how much I love you and how much you mean to me, please meet me down by the Quidditch Pitch. I know you hate the snow, but it will be worth your while. I promise.

Love always,

Without a second thought, I ran up to the dorm room, where Mary was sitting with a book. She had dozens of boxes of chocolate lying around her and a couple of bouquets of flowers. She was smiling to herself, nibbling on a chocolate frog. I didn’t say a single thing to her as I went for my trunk, grabbing my warmest jumper, my mittens, boots, scarf and hat. I began to toss them on and I knew I was finally gathering Mary’s attention. Once I pulled on my mittens and glanced at her, she was furrowing her brows at me.

“Where are you going at eight o’clock at night?” She asked me. I wanted to keep this as my secret.

“For a walk.” I lied.

“You hate the snow.” She stated, putting down her book and crossing her arms. I bit my lip. I was really a horrible liar.

“Well, I was promised it wouldn’t be as horrible as I think it is.” I said cryptically. Mary knew she wasn’t going to get anything else so she just nodded her head at me, returning to her book.

“Have fun.” She said simply. I nodded and took off out of the dorm and out of the castle.


It was bloody cold outside. I really hated this weather. I hated snow. I absolutely despised the damn thing. I wrapped my jumper tighter around me as the air bit at my cheeks. I made for the Quidditch Pitch. Sirius better know some good magic to make me not so bloody cold, or he better be taking me somewhere warm. If he was meant to know anything about me, it was that this weather was not something to take me out in to make up for the lack of Valentine’s Day surprise. As I got closer, I heard light music coming from inside. I started going in, but Sirius was suddenly blocking my path. I jumped, trying not to look too startled.

“Why hello there, my love.” He said, grinning as he stepped forward and touched his lips so delicately against my own. I found myself grinning at this. He pulled me closer to him and I immediately felt warmer.

“Hello.” I mumbled into his chest. I closed my eyes against his chest, feeling the warmth of his grey jumper against my face and the manly smell that was Sirius Black float through my nose.

“I’ve got a surprise for you.” He told me, but didn’t move. I didn’t want to move either. I didn’t care about the snow right now, just the warmth of his arms.

“This is a perfectly fine surprise. I love being in your arms.” I told him. He kissed the top of my forehead and pulled me away from him.

“You are so beautiful right now. You don’t need all that makeup and fancy clothes. I love you just like this.” Sirius told me. I could only smile at him. He was so charming. “Come.”

I followed him inside the pitch and when we got through the stands, I found myself slowed by the scene. Smack in the middle was a melted spot of snow. There was the most elaborate small table I have ever seen, dressed in a white table cloth with a single candle and a bouquet of flowers resting in the middle. There was even steaming plates of food. I couldn’t see what they were from this distance, but the food was fresh and the smell was amazing. I turned towards Sirius and I felt tears spring to my eyes at the pure beauty of it all. He tried so hard and it was so beautiful.

“I don’t know what to say.” I whispered. Sirius grabbed my hand and led me through the snow to the middle of the pitch. Suddenly warmth enveloped my body. He put some sort of spell on this area. I folded off my jumper and let Sirius take out my chair and have me sit. I looked down at my plate a frowned.

“What’s the matter?” Sirius asked, taking the seat opposite. “The house elves make the best seafood! Is something wrong with yours?”

“I’m….allergic to seafood.” I told him. His face immediately fell at this, like his whole day was ruined.

“I should have known. What kind of boyfriend am I? I try to kill you on bloody Valentine’s Day. I can’t even get this day right!” He got up and began to pace in anger at himself. I found myself smiling and I got up, grabbing onto him to make him stop. I grabbed his face and pulled it into my own, kissing him.

“It’s the thought.” I told him, smiling against his lips as I kissed him again.

“It was a bloody horrible thought.” He mumbled, wrapping his arms around me as he kissed me again, this time deeper.

“We all make mistakes, Sirius. I don’t expect you to know everything about me. You know how many more mistakes you are going to make in our relationship? Millions. But it is being able to laugh at the mistakes we make that is going to make us last. And being able to do this afterwards.” I kissed him again. He smiled against my lips.

“I’ve got some chocolate.” He told me.

“Sounds like the best Valentine’s Day ever.” I told him. He reached underneath the table and brought out a large bag full of chocolates. I grinned and he pulled our chairs closer to each other as we began to eat the chocolate.

“I’m sorry I ruined Valentine’s Day.” He told me. I rolled my eyes, letting him pop a chocolate frog in my mouth.

“I’m with you. That’s the best Valentine’s Day there is.” I put a hand on his cheek, gazing at every inch of his face. He was the man I loved. Nothing could beat that.

“I love you, Lenny Crowley.” He whispered to me, kissing my lips again.

“And I love you, Sirius Black.” I told him.


Author's Note: And there is your ending! I hope you all enjoyed this journey as much as I did. It has been quite the adventure. To say that we have all grown together is an understatement. This story hasn't just been me writing it, it has been the support and love of all of its readers. I wanted to give a formal thank you to all of you out there who have loved and hated Lenny and Sirius. Who have fallen in love with their story.

And yes, there will be a sequel.

Until next time!