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Format: Novel
Chapters: 18
Word Count: 106,694
Status: WIP
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers
Genres: Drama, Romance, Young Adult
Characters: Scorpius, Albus, James (II), Rose, OC, OtherCanon
Pairings: James/OC, Rose/Scorpius, OC/OC, Other Pairing
First Published: 05/30/2011
Last Chapter: 05/18/2013
Last Updated: 05/18/2013
Summary:
(Thanks to Girl with one eye@TDA for the beautiful banner!)
A lot of the things James Potter does bug me.
But I do tolerate him (kind of), to an extent.
There is a line, however.
Jumping off of Gryffindor Tower is crossing that line.
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine, unfortunately.
Chapter 1: The Issue With Weasleys
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I told you,” James crossed his arms, “I don’t like that move. I told you last time if you did it again, you’d be running laps.”
“But –“
“Go on,” he pointed vaguely around the pitch.
“But I scored the goal!” I screamed at him.
I was rather unhappy at this point.
“I’m sorry,” James took a step across the pitch towards me, “but I believe your Captain ordered you to run thirty laps around the pitch.”
“Oh, you ‘ordered me,’” I rolled my eyes, “My bad. Then I dismiss your order.”
James’s eyes narrowed. “You know, if I wanted, I could Imperious you into doing it. My dad does practically get me diplomatic immunity.”
Oh good God. Leave it James fucking Potter to manage to drag his father into an argument about his maddening tendency to “order” me around.
And besides, Harry Potter was not going to let him get away with using an Unforgivable on me. He liked my pancakes. So ha; suck on that, Potter.
“Now,” James grinned smugly; my lack of response had clearly brought him to false conclusions, “if you want to stay on my team, you will complete your laps before leaving this pitch. You may begin.”
I gritted my teeth.
Obviously, I was livid.
The prick knew perfectly well that I would not be leaving the team. He also knew he wouldn’t be making me leave the team; he wouldn’t if he wanted the Cup, at least.
Nevertheless, he insisted on making it an option, just because he knew I wouldn’t take it.
Maybe I should change things up a bit some time.
“Quickly, now,” he prompted, smug expression still glowering at me off his ridiculously gorgeous face.
Maybe I should change things up a bit now.
“Go to hell,” I grumbled at him, turning on my heel and marching off the pitch.
I could just imagine James standing there, gaping at my retreating back.
Yeah, that’s right, I just defied you, you great prat. What now?
“You better be on this bloody pitch tomorrow morning at six sharp, or I’m kicking you off!” he shouted after me.
Like hell.
The Ravenclaw match is the day after tomorrow.
Potter was not going to kick his best Chaser off the team the day before the Ravenclaw match. Not when the match is one of the two that decides who will play Slytherin in the semifinals.
Ravenclaw had already massacred Hufflepuff a month ago, and that left us with the practically impossible task of beating 240 points plus whatever they scored in this match after the Slytherin match in January if we wanted to reclaim the top spot in the standings.
We have yet to play a match this year, so that left us having to fight for the spot rather than having to defend it.
Which means Potter needs his Chasers. Catching the Snitch will not be enough for us.
I’d stormed into the changing rooms by the time I’d affirmed that my spot was secure, only to be met with the rest of the team, who seemed to be in the middle of some sort of dispute.
It all stopped, however, as soon as I entered.
“Well?” Louis Weasley prompted, pulling Keeper glows off as his eyes trained questioningly on me.
“Well what?” I frowned at the lot of them in confusion.
“None, obviously,” Allison Harper rolled her eyes at him. “You think she would’ve finished laps by now?”
“Well, he bloody tried to make me do thirty and then threatened to kick me off,” I informed them, “Again.”
“Ha!” Fred Weasley interjected, “I had my money on ‘tried!””
Prats. This tendency to bet on every little bloody thing had sparked from the Weasleys, who make up half the team.
Louis was Keeper, Fred, who’s an idiot, was a Beater, and James stick-up-his-arse Quidditch-Nazi-Captain Potter was another Chaser. He’s a Weasley on his mother’s side.
The rest of the team is quite impressionable and had taken up the habit of joining in on bets.
“And I said she’d refuse,” Allison added to him.
“What’s the difference?” Fred frowned.
“The difference is that I said she’d refuse, while you only claimed he’d try,” she shot back.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. We all knew Allison would win. She always wins when up against Fred. He always ends up quitting because he eventually becomes sick of her twisting his words repeatedly.
They argued all the time, over everything, and that was always how it ended.
“Bloody hell, Rina, that was quite a throw!” Callie Mena shouted across the room.
I glanced over to find her inspecting black and blue bruises on Louis’s side.
Git deserved it.
“Teach you for next time,” I snapped at him as he winced when Callie touched the bruises.
“What the hell were you chucking Quaffles at me for anyways?” he sent me a glare, “James was the one screaming at you.”
“You were laughing,” I answered simply.
“Yes, but what have I told you about throwing things at friends?” Callie placed her hands on her hips.
“They deserved it if they didn’t have the brains to avoid it.”
Callie sighed and turned away, shaking her head.
I’m about to throw something at her now.
The bitch always thought she had to be my mother while at school. As if I couldn’t take care of myself.
“Stop scowling, Love.”
I decided to scowl at Austin just for that.
The git was always trying to tell me what to do as well.
As if I gave a fuck what he thought.
“Austin, is your shoulder okay?” Callie asked, turning away from a relatively healed Louis and to him instead.
He shrugged, and then winced, which she took for a no.
“Let me see,” she made her way over, wand in hand as Louis departed for the boys’ shower, still rubbing his side.
I had to roll my eyes again at Callie; the Seeker fit nowhere into the team.
Between James the git-Captain, Fred the idiot and stubborn Allison bickering all over the place, my absolute bitchiness, and Austin Raine and Louis having something to say about it all, Callie was the only actually likable member of the team.
Alright, that was a lie.
Fred, Louis and Austin were likable as well. I suppose.
At least they were relatively kind.
Even Fred. Maybe.
“Honest to God, Rina, just let me Bludger James next time instead of throwing things at people,” the Weasley himself called over as he noticed Austin’s bruises as well.
“For your information,” I turned to him in annoyance, “I didn’t throw anything at Austin. I hit him with his Beater’s bat.”
“Oh, my bad,” he rolled his eyes sarcastically, disappearing after his blond cousin for a shower.
Prick.
“Better go find Al,” Austin laughed, glancing over at me. “Before she kills someone.”
Yes, I was angry.
And not even Albus Potter could calm me down this time.
And I know I always say that. But he always managed to do so anyway.
He was about as much of a git as his brother. Except I liked him.
Not for real, of course.
Albus was about as annoying as Callie, but in male form. And, honestly, if he and James didn’t share the same gorgeous features, I’d never believe that they were brothers.
But then again, I had issues believing any of the Weasleys were related.
Fred, for example, was exactly like James, and they were best friends, being cousins and barely a few months apart in age, but I actually liked Fred. Though, that may be because he actually liked me. James couldn’t have cared less if I drowned in the Black Lake.
At least, he’d pretend not to care.
In reality, he’d probably be pissed at me because I’d end up missing Quidditch practice.
Fred, on the other hand, was a relatively good friend. At least he didn’t boss me around all over the place. Even if he did have a tendency to crack some stupid joke in the middle of my attempt at a serious conversation with him, he did manage to shut up enough when it was really important.
I suppose that’s what I had multiple Weasleys for.
Albus and Louis were rather similar, at least; the both of them were the calmest, must ridiculously patient gits I’d ever met. But then again, they were friends with people like Allison and I, so it was most definitely necessary.
I could never even begin to yell at Albus because I’d feel like a bloody idiot with him just sitting there with that look on his face, and Louis would just sit and watch until I was done ranting about whatever I had a problem with (which was many, many things) and then say something clever and make me feel stupid.
Rose Weasley had a similar way of making me feel stupid, except she wasn’t nice about it. If Callie was the exceedingly fussy mother of the group, Rose was the strict one who yelled at us and punished us. She had a way of pissing people off when she tried to help because she was just so damn infuriating. She got mad at everything, as if anger was the answer to everything. And Rose was as perceptive as hell; nothing got passed her. And then there was Hugo.
Her brother was about as dense and tactless as they came, walking around as the idiot of the century without a clue in the world. I seriously doubt he’d make it through life without Lily Potter, James and Albus’s younger sister, to watch his back. She was at least the more clever of the pair, and she was also rather straightforward and lacking Albus’s kindness.
She was a lot like Roxanne, actually. She was Fred’s sister, but much less teddy-bear like and much ruder. Fred claimed she was only a notch or so below me.
Git.
I guess Molly Weasley was Roxanne’s combination Rose and Albus. She was overly mature, and nicer about it than Rose. Her younger sister Lucy, by contrast was the sweetest little girl ever, but also an obvious blonde. She was adorable, really.
And ironically enough, that sweet little girl was related to prat of the century, James Potter.
What the fuck was up with that?
“Stop ranting in your head, Bells,” Austin rolled his eyes at me.
I responded by narrowing mine at him.
He walked away.
Prick.
With a name like Arabella Audrina Zar (yes, I know my parents were on crack), my friends had worked out multiple forms of nicknames.
I had supplied Rina, and therefore, it was the only form acceptable. They were just too thick to understand the fact.
I mean, seriously, do I look like a bell?
I’d have to hex Austin later.
Or just call him Donald. That was his first name. Hilarious, I know.
Donald Duck.
He really hated that.
Which I didn’t understand, because I loved Donald the Duck. Much better than Donald the Austin, at any rate.
I probably wouldn’t hex Austin, if I’m being honest, though. I could just never bring myself to mess up that bloody gorgeous face.
Austin was straight out of my Greek God dreams. He had tousled honey-colored hair, matching eyes, and the most ridiculously perfect gorgeous features.
I’d be in love with him if he wasn’t a whole three inches shorter than me and such a prat.
Plus there was the whole issue with Callie being so bloody in love with him.
Poor thing was so entranced by his beautiful face and ridiculously sexy Scottish accent that she failed to remember what an idiot he was.
Oh well.
I gathered my stuff from my locker and followed Allison and Callie to the girls’ shower, ignoring Allie gloating over her winnings.
She was a prat too.
Really, she was Austin in female form, just meaner. Her hair was near the same color, though closer to blonde with massive amounts of highlights all over the place making it impossible to tell what the actual color was in the first place, and her amber eyes sparked about as much as Austin’s as well.
Of course, Austin’s sparked in humor and teasing while Allison’s were always annoyed.
By the time the three of us had showered and dressed, the four boys were gone, probably shoveling down dinner in the Kitchens.
I made to disappear out the door as well, intending to join them, but Allison and Callie stopped me.
For the most frivolous of reasons.
“Let me at least dry my Goddamn hair,” Allison yanked me back by the arm, fishing out her wand from her locker.
“Did you take my eyeliner, Allie?” Callie frowned, emerging from her own locker empty handed.
I groaned.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a girl. Granted, I’m a girl whose makeup applications don’t stretch far beyond eyeliner, but a girl nonetheless.
I personally felt that a relatively pretty girl, such as myself, could get away with twenty minutes of extra sleep rather than bothering with an exaggeratedly complex makeup regime.
All three of us were in agreement on that, at least, in the mornings.
Where we conflicted was at 9:30 at night on a bloody Thursday when all we were going to do was eat, do insane amounts of homework, and then fall asleep so that we could drag our butts back out of bed five hours later.
Stupid Potter’s practices always made me look like hell anyway, so what’s the point?
As long as my hair looks good, I’m okay. My insane dark curls are still a fairly widely talked about subject around Hogwarts, and I’d figured that no one noticed dark baggy eyes when a girl rocked her hair the way I did.
Insert arrogant smirk here.
But it was the truth, honestly. I’d heard about it a trillion times.
But, us being teenage girls, boys had to factor in somewhere.
Callie was still trying to get a clueless Austin to notice her and Allison prided herself in her shameless-flirting ways, so both girls had to look perfect at all times.
Granted, they did not fail.
After ten minutes of my grumbling about food, Allison and Callie both turned to me, looking much too bloody fantastic for a late dinner in the Kitchens.
Allison’s hair was perfectly straight without looking like a stick, and her glossy lips screamed ‘snog me please.’
Callie’s gleaming dark hair was dried into soft waves and her smoky-grey-lined blue eyes twinkled with an alluring innocence.
I blinked at them.
I then looked in the mirror.
Al’s sweatshirt, yoga pants, dripping hair, bloodshot eyes – check, check, check, and bloody check.
I glanced back to the other two and took in the skinny jeans, low-cut tops and layered jewelry.
Well, fuck my life.
Even I looked terrible next to those two.
I looked back at the mirror and sighed. Screw it.
“Two minutes,” I grumbled at the pair, dragging myself back to my locker.
Allison was already smirking while Callie rolled her eyes.
Skanks.
I scrunched the water from my hair with a towel to be less drippy before tossing the towel aside and finding my curling gel, specifically to be used for Quidditch practices Allison and Callie chose to leave looking like hair models.
Once I was satisfied that there was enough gel to hold the curls, but not enough to make it even close to crusty (to which I would’ve responded by yanking my hard hair out), I was ready to go.
“Come on,” I sighed to my friends, the both of whom had been watching in amusement.
As if it wasn’t all their bloody fault in the first place.
Stupid, stupid girls.
By the time I’d finished eating and made it back to the common room, I was ready to sleep. I wanted sleep so bad, it wasn’t even funny. James fucking Potter had us up with the sun to practice every morning this week.
And it was completely ridiculous because we’re so bloody fantastic.
Honestly, I swear James is just trying to beat the fun out of Quidditch. He’s a right prick.
“You’re ranting in your head again, Bells,” Austin smirked from next to me.
I turned to glower at him.
Allison and Callie had returned twenty minutes ago, but it’d remained behind to eat more with the boys.
In the end, however, even I couldn’t eat as much as a Weasley, so Austin and I had left Louis and Fred to it; prat Potter had left five minutes after I walked in. As if I could kill his appetite when he watched Weasleys eat.
“Go to hell, Donald,” I directed my annoyance on the deserving git.
His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say anything.
That’s how spoiled I am; they all let me get away with it.
Well, Austin does, at any rate.
Louis, Albus and Scorpius make me feel stupid and/or guilty.
Git-heads.
“There they are!”
And speaking of the git-heads.
“Please, Rina, don’t let that glare mess with your pretty little face,” Scorpius Malfoy grinned tauntingly.
My glare deepened.
“Nothing can mess with that pretty little face,” Albus reminded his friend, sending me a smirk.
“I can’t do this right now,” I rubbed my head, falling onto the couch in between the two of them.
Bloody James always gave me a headache, which meant I’d had a constant one all week. Just as it began to subside, the idiot would show up again with another damn practice.
“Now, Rina,” Albus trained a focused gaze on me, “I warned you about joining my brother’s team.”
“It didn’t seem like a bad idea at the time,” I grumbled.
And it hadn’t.
I remembered, it had been the summer before my fourth year and James’s fifth, and I had been at Rose’s for the weekend (which meant we were at the Potters because she and Hugo were always there) when we got our Hogwarts letters.
James had been ecstatic when a Captain’s badge fell out of his envelope, and once he was done bouncing around all over the place, he’d headed straight off to plan stuff. He’d been holed up in his room all day, and Albus, Rose, Hugo, Lily and I thought it was ridiculous. He finally emerged for dinner a few hours later because the rest of the Weasleys had come over as well and he wanted to gloat to Fred.
After a dinner full of James gloating and Fred being moody, the two waged war and, of course, a match took place.
After my phenomenal Chasing won James the game, he mentioned that two of the Chasers had graduated and I should try-out.
Albus had warned it would be a bad idea, but I paid him no attention and landed myself on the team.
And yes, the insanity of his practices had screwed up my life, but what annoyed me more than anything was that it had really screwed up our friendship.
James and I used to be good friends, courtesy of my closeness to Albus. James had a superiority complex, however, so halfway through the season, he’d decided he hated me. He at least knew he couldn’t get rid of me, for the sake of the team, but he made my life hell because I managed some of the moves he’d never dare.
Honest to God, it was a shame, because James had been like Albus and Fred put together.
“Rina, honestly,” Albus rolled his eyes, “You have the attention span of a goldfish.”
I snapped out of my thoughts and turned my waning attention to him. He was right; I tend to drift off a lot.
“Don’t you have an essay to be writing?” Scorpius questioned Austin, who’d dropped into a nearby armchair, and I.
I sighed; he was right as well.
Scorpius is annoyingly responsible; in fact, he’s just bloody perfect. The only person more perfect than Scorpius is Louis.
And that is saying something because Louis’s a fucking part-Veela.
But Louis is also a Weasley and Scorpius is not, so Scorpius was the Gryffindor Prefect for our year, essentially making him more of a perfect nerd. He and Callie.
I hate ‘em both.
But the point is that he was trying to make me write my essay.
And I did not want to write it.
“Can I do it later, please?” I pouted. Yes, exactly like a little girl.
“It’s due tomorrow morning, Love,” Scorpius reminded.
“But we have free first thing in the morning,” I shot back.
“Which practice will run into,” Austin added.
I groaned. He was right again. “Bloody Potter.”
“Hey,” Albus held his hands up in defense, “Don’t blame it on us all.”
“You are just as much of a prick as he is.”
“’Course I am,” he assured.
My eyes narrowed. How the hell am I supposed to argue with someone that decides to agree with me?
This is what I mean by annoying.
Austin groaned, glancing over at the clock, according to which it was almost 11:00. “I just want to sleep. Will you please help me with the essay?” he turned to Scorpius.
The blond responded by rolling his eyes and standing. “I suppose so, if it means I’m not the one stuck helping Bella.”
I glowered at him. Again with the inappropriate nicknames.
“I don’t need help.” I’m good at school.
“But someone’s going to have to keep you focused,” Scorpius reminded, sending a smirk to his dark-haired friend, “Have fun with that, Al.”
I glared unhappily at their retreating backs before turning back to Albus. “I don’t want to write an essay.”
“Come on,” Albus rolled his eyes, handing me his ink, quill, and Transfigurations book, along with spare parchment from his own essay. “You know Animagi.”
“So?” I found myself grumbling under my breath, grudgingly taking the supplies.
This is going to be a long night.
~*~
James Potter is a dick.
He is the dick of the century.
Only he would make me run yesterday’s thirty laps (forcing a pissed Allie to relinquish her winnings to an extremely smug Louis), run every single drill in the book, threaten to make me run laps if I missed a single shot, and then make me run laps for making the last shot.
What a dick.
It was nearing 10:00, Transfigurations starts in fifteen minutes, it was sleeting, and I still had ten laps to go.
Every five laps is about a mile, meaning I had two more miles to run.
Curse the bloody schedule giving seventh and sixth year Gryffindors the same free periods. McGonagall probably did it on purpose so that James could make us practice more. She was still obviously biased to Gryffindor, despite having relinquished Head of Gryffindor House to Professor Longbottom and taken up Headmistress instead.
And she clearly hated me.
James was standing at the edge of the pitch, watching me finish. The git had Herbology next, and we all knew Professor Longbottom would forget about detention as soon as James mentioned Quidditch.
Professor Chang, on the other hand, not only hated me, but she also hated the Gryffindor Quidditch team, being Ravenclaw’s Head of House, and honest to God, I had no doubt she’d give me detention all day tomorrow if I was late. Perfect excuse to take me out of the match.
James, the idiot that he is, probably failed to realize this fact.
I felt the urge to hex him, but apart from my inability to mess with gorgeous faces, the last thing we needed was our Captain in the Hospital Wing the day before the match. Even if it would eliminate lunch practice and night practice…
No, not a good idea, I told myself, huffing onto my final five laps. Leave it for the Ravenclaws.
“Pick up the pace, Zar!” James shouted contemptuously across the pitch. “Don’t want to be late!”
“No,” I called back to him, “Chang would hate that.”
I reveled in an imagination at the look on his face when he realized I was seven minutes from being late to Chang’s class before becoming curious as to whether the actual look on his face was funnier than what I was imagining.
I glanced over my shoulder, and sure enough, it was.
Even from across the pitch, I could see that all color had drained from his face and he was wearing an expression of horror.
“Bloody hell! Zar!” he shouted.
“Yes?” I called, biting back a laugh as I continued to run.
“Get your arse to class!” he yelled hysterically, splotchy red spots beginning to appear on his face. “Dammit!”
I smirked. “You sure?” I kept running, “I still have four laps to –“
“Go!” he screamed at me, already charging across the pitch to yank me into the castle.
I finally stopped running, deciding to collapse into laughter as he grabbed my wrist and dragged me off the pitch. “Bloody hell, it’s like you don’t want to play tomorrow!”
I snorted. “As if Longbottom would allow that to happen.”
James only rubbed his temples, closing his eyes as he released my arm. “Just go.”
I rolled my eyes and headed off at a jog, clearly aware as I burst into the castle with four minutes to go that I looked like hell, having been up before five and not having showered after practice.
Ignoring the disgusted looks I was receiving, I had to charge all the way up to the Transfigurations room, praying to God that Louis had had time to stop in the Kitchens to get me some food.
I collapsed into the empty seat in the back next to Scorpius, huffing for breath, just as the bell rang.
“Nice of you to join us, Miss Zar,” Chang ran a disapproving gaze over my frazzled form.
“Sure,” I managed to gasp out, clutching a stitch in my side. I swear to God, if James makes me run anymore today…
“If you would please pass up your essays on Animagi,” Professor Chang moved her gaze over to the class as a whole.
I dropped my head to the table top, closing my eyes as people began shuffling about to find their essays, ignoring the chuckle from above.
Smarmy blond git.
There was a special place in hell reserved for the lot of my shitty friends, and Scorpius Malfoy would be joining them there.
“She’ll just be looking for a reason to give you a detention, you know.”
My eyes flickered up to him in annoyance as he pulled my essay out of my bag and set it on top of his. Rose was in charge of bringing my, Allison’s and Callie’s bags to our classes if there was practice, for the sake of saving us time.
“And they brought this back for you,” he added, handing me a muffin under the table, subtly so as to not tip of our haughty professor.
Our essays zoomed into a pile on her desk as I took the blueberry muffin with a relieved smile. Some food is better than no food, I suppose.
Scorpius rolled his eyes as he took in my appearance. “You look like hell.”
“I know,” I snapped, annoyed with him again.
Introducing my mood swings.
“Please, Rina, I can’t handle your mood swings today.”
I glared.
Scorpius may as well have been Louis’s twin. Not only were they both the same type of annoyingly teasing and clever, but they also had the same type of effortless good looks. Both were obviously good looking with tousled blond hair, though Scorpius’s was sleeker and his physical build smaller.
I couldn’t even deny the months it took to not swoon at the sight of the both of them.
“Just pay attention and keep her from seeing me sleeping,” I grumbled at him, dropping my head back down to the desk as he shook his head and turned his attention to the beginnings of his notes.
I then proceeded to close my eyes to go to sleep.
‘Course, that wasn’t happening.
“Please do keep your head up, Miss Zar,” Chang called across the room.
I could feel her wrinkled-nosed glare on me. She had issues with anything that wasn’t perfect, and my appearance nearly never was.
I dragged my head up to meet her challenging eyes.
This always happened when Gryffindor was about to play Ravenclaw; she’d target me in hopes of getting me into detention. Louis and Callie were too good to ever get detention, so she never tried with them, and her philosophy was to target Chasers over Beaters, so Fred and Austin were usually fine as well. She couldn’t give the whole team detention; that would be too obvious, so she only picked on one of us.
Of course, James had become a pro at avoiding detention once he became Captain, admittedly maturing (except for the superiority complex) enough to take at least something seriously. I’d give him that. Actually, James had managed to grow much more serious in general. The problem was, it was annoying as hell. I much preferred funny joking, my friend James to bloody perfectionist, ordering me around, having no time for fun, Captain Potter.
Allison, who admittedly was a bit of a bombshell, managed to avoid detentions as well, though most professors did have issues with her personality. She was a bloody genius, so that helped, and she never actually broke rules. She just worked around them and got snarky and loud a lot.
She had nothing on me, though. I had a reputation for being cheeky and sarcastic, which in turn had lost me many house points. For the special occasion of Gryffindor-Ravenclaw matches, however, Chang would step those lost house points up a notch and give me detention instead.
James had blown a gasket the first time it’d happened. If Fred hadn’t knocked the Ravenclaw Seeker out of the game, we wouldn’t have been able to maintain our lead in the tournament. ‘Course, it also helped that Callie was a brilliant Seeker and ended the game within twenty-five minutes as it is.
“Thank Merlin for Callie” had been James’s motto for about a month or so.
So, there I was, pretending to pay avid attention to Professor Chang’s lecture, keeping my eyes trained on her as hers kept flickering back to me in hopes of catching me dozing again.
I was dozing, honestly, just with my eyes open and attentive.
That’s how skilled I am.
When the bell finally, finally rang, I was all for legging it out of there as fast as possible. I was on my way to the Great Hall.
That is, until Allison and Callie caught up with me.
“Practice,” was all Allison had to say to make me shriek indignantly and kick a wall.
I believe I may have frightened a few second years.
“Come on,” Callie grabbed my arm and pulled me along. “It’s only for an hour and a half.”
“But there’s freezing rain!” I cried, motioning out the window where the rain was falling from the gray and black storm clouds.
Allison snorted. “Don’t let James here you complain about that.”
I sighed in resignation as I followed them to the Entrance Hall.
James got really worked up about weather complaints; as Quidditch players we were meant to be “trained to handle any sort of weather situation.”
Prat.
Upon descending the Grand Staircase, we were met by Louis and Austin waiting by the door.
“Are we going?” Allison questioned the pair.
“In a sec,” Louis nodded, “Rose just made us promise to wait a bit.”
“If James makes me do laps, I’m going to murder her,” Austin added, glancing towards the Great Hall.
“If he tries to make me do laps, I’m going to castrate him,” I mumbled under my breath.
Callie shot me a look, while Allison snorted, and Louis chuckled.
“May I please watch?”
I nodded to the blond. “Absolutely.”
“There she is,” Austin pointed suddenly to the splash of bright red hair emerging from the throng of students trying to get into the Great Hall.
Rose came to an abrupt stop in front of us and shoved a plate of good-old-fashioned breadsticks at Louis. “Here,” she spoke briskly, before turning a severe gaze on us all. “Eat. And makes sure James and Fred have something too.”
“If I leave them some,” I conceded, diving for the plate and snatching up a breadstick.
“Now,” Rose ignored me, surveying us, scrutinizing gaze coming to a stop as her eyes rested on me, “Please remember to shower –“
“James was making me run laps!” I defended.
“He’s a git,” she waved it off, “His opinions don’t mater more than your cleanliness, or health, so if there’s lightning, you better come back in and –“
“If our health matters oh so much, than how ‘bout letting us get down there before your lovely cousin is driven to murdering us all?” Allison questioned, raising an eyebrow.
Rose crossed her arms, lips forming a thin line. “I don’t give a fuck about James’s death threats.”
“Come on, Love,” Scorpius came out of nowhere and grabbed her arm, pulling her back, “They can take care of themselves.”
Rose huffed. “If they grew a brain, they could. I’ll bet the lot of them practiced in the sleeting rain all morning.”
“Well, obviously,” I gestured to my damp hair and clothing.
Rose rolled her eyes and pulled out her wand, training it on me and flicking it once. I was suddenly in love with her as I found myself to be completely dry and clean. Why hadn’t I thought of that?
Rose rolled her eyes again, and then flicked her wand at me once more before doing the same to the others. “Impervious Charm,” she explained, replacing her wand in her bag before swinging around and taking Scorpius’s hand. “Have fun.”
Austin shook his head, finishing off his breadstick and going in for another. “Only Rose Weasley.”
Eventually, the five us made it to the Quidditch pitch and entered the changing rooms.
As soon as we did, James began yelling at me.
Yeah, that’s right me. No one else.
Just me.
“Have I not told a you a thousand times to not be late for my practices?” he yelled, hazel eyes darkened to a fiery amber as he gestured wildly with his hands. “Really, what is it? Do you get some sort of thrill out of pissing me off? Is that it? Because, Merlin know, you just love to do it!”
“Shut up James,” I snatched the plate of breadsticks from Louis and shoved it at him. “Rose, who, you know, actually cares about the team, felt the need to provide us with some food and protection from this Godforsaken rain.
“What –“
“Impervious Charm, you dolt,” I rolled my eyes, “She held us up to feed us and Impervious us so that we don’t wake up too bloody sick to play.”
James blinked, eyes flickering over to Louis, who just sighed and walked further into the room.
“One of those is for Fred,” he pointed to the two breadsticks on the plate.
“We should give them both to Fred,” I found myself mumbling darkly, “Seeing as you clearly don’t care enough about food to allow your team to eat.”
James’s eyes narrowed. “Says the girl willing to give up a Chaser by falling off her broom.”
Of course, we were back to this.
The prat insisted that danger was not necessary to win a game, but there honestly was a reason people said I was the best Chaser Hogwarts had ever seen; James had issues with using his brain. He insisted that we do whatever play he calls and make it work so as to eliminate the chances of surprise or danger, but everyone knew that a team could only be good if the players could actually think for themselves.
I’d even give credit to the Slytherin team for how well they executed their fouls.
The sad thing was, James did know the exact meaning of playing together and on instinct. The second I veered off course, the rest of the team, James included, knew exactly what to do. If I changed his Hawkshead Attacking Formation to a Porskoff Ploy, James was there in a second to catch the dropped Quaffle.
Hell, I could fly off without following any play and just going on my gut and, instinctively, James and Allison would know exactly what to do.
These were the things that worked best for us, the things where we felt the game and played off each other, but James still hated it because it messed with what he could control. All of a sudden, I might go in for a spectacular score or Austin might miss the change and knock a Bludger in the wrong direction because the play changed.
Honestly, that had only happened once, and Fred had caught me straight away.
The point is, by this time, we knew how to play off each other and play together, but James still believed we were too stupid to not screw it up one of these days.
Hence his insistence that I was a stupid little girl that was going to mess up his plan.
His plan was his whole life.
“Now,” James switched a bit of his anger in for authority, “Give me ten laps.”
Oh, that’s it.
I’d already stepped towards him, ready to knee him where it hurts, when Austin wrapped his arms around my waist and yanked me back.
“Really, mate, don’t piss her off,” he warned. “She will castrate you.”
“I don’t care,” James’s eyes narrowed at me.
I raised an eyebrow. “Only a guy with nothing there would be okay with that.”
James’s eyes narrowed farther.
“Which would make sense since, you know,” I broke out of Austin’s grip and stepped towards him, “you have less balls than a Slytherin.”
That did it.
James blinked once, and then his eyes hardened dark and cold and he spun on his heel and marched off to the door.
I swear, if I weren’t a girl, he would’ve hit me.
“Be out here in five minutes!”
He then disappeared out the door and into the rain.
“Rina…” Callie sighed, sending me a look.
“What?” I rounded on her, “Git deserved it.”
“Yes, but now, he’s going to make our lives hell as well,” Allison snapped, yanking her locker open.
I sent her glare. “I don’t think anyone can complain about bloody Potter to me. He treats me worse than the shit on the bottoms of his shoes, and we all know it.”
“But, Rina –“
“Shut up, Louis,” I snapped turning away from him and making my way over to my own locker.
The prat always insisted “James means well.”
I sneered at his words, hearing them in my head.
James never meant well. All he ever thought about was how to make the team look good following his Godforsaken rules.
Dressed in grey yoga pants and a small black T-shirt, I turned back to face the others, throwing my hair up into a tight ponytail.
“Before he has another chance to yell at me, I suppose,” I sighed, grabbing my broom and heading out with the rest of the team behind me.
A/N: I've been writing for seven years, lost all my muse for my old stories, found a new muse that this is a part of, and I still don't know how I feel about the way I begin a story. My beginnings have always been my pet peeves of my stories, but maybe you'll let me know what you think? And how 'bout Rina, Austin and Rosie? I love Rose:) We'll see about James later, though;) Review!
Disclaimer: Not mine if you've seen it before:(
Chapter 2: Starts With Denial
I was feeling fit for murder.
I’d just managed to kick the Quaffle into the center hope and swing myself back onto the broom, because that’s just how amazing I am, and James, predictably, was pissed at that.
So, of course he was yelling.
“ – if you let go? You would’ve hurdled to your death from fifty feet in the air!” he gestured wildly, gripping his broom with one hand as he hovered and screamed. “And even if you didn’t let go, don’t you think some bastard of a Slytherin would see the opportunity to whack a Bludger at you to force you to let go or yank at your broom? Obviously, you didn’t, but if you used your Godforsaken brain once in a while, you would’ve!”
“Okay, Potter, we’re playing Ravenclaw –“
“And they’ve been taking a leaf out of the Slytherins’ book!” he shouted, “You saw them playing Hufflepuff, fouling all over the place! And with the terrible conditions we’ll be playing in tomorrow, of course they’re going to get away with it! Bloody Turner is set on doing whatever the hell it takes to beat me!”
I frowned slightly, concentration fading.
James and the Ravenclaw Captain, Michael Turner, really got into it the year before after they lost the Cup to us.
No one was exactly sure what had been said, seeing as we were all too busy attacking Callie after she landed with the Snitch, but Rose, who’d seen from the stands, had said that Michael had caught up with James on his way to the ground, said something and the next thing anyone knew, James had lunged from his broom and was throttling him as they landed on the ground.
In general, James was a pretty big guy, in league with Freddy the Bear, but so was Michael. The brawl the both of them got into was a nasty one, both having immense amounts of strength in their blows.
No one would brave getting into it to stop them, in fear of their lives, until Fred and Austin finally took the initiative and yanked James back, a couple of the Ravenclaws finally coming in to grab their housemate back as well.
The Professors, who had been fighting their way through the crowd since the fight started, were still struggling, and by the time they finally reached the center, James had disappeared.
With all the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws absorbed in a verbal fight, shouting obscenities at each other, the Professors were much too preoccupied to go find him.
It was times like these, however, when I saw bloodied and battered James limping off to the changing rooms, that I remembered that, no matter what a git he’d become, we used to be friends, and I was friends with practically his entire family.
Armed with actually taking the effort to care for once and what Allison referred to as my “Healer instincts” I went to go find him. Everyone was too immersed in fighting to miss me anyways.
Now, being the team’s resident Healer (I’m going to be an official Mediwitch for professional Quidditch because there is nothing hotter than shirtless Quidditch players) I’d seen quite a few accidents I’d been left to deal with.
Simple bruises, Callie handled, seeing as I was always moody and she was relatively good with that stuff, planning on becoming a Pediatric Healer.
Bad stuff however, broken bones and such, things that usually involved falls, dives, and Bludgers, I got, mostly because I took over on that instinct Allison grumbled about; she hated it because it reminded her too much of the school nurse, Madame Pomfrey, but I swear I’m not that bad.
So, in any case, I went to find James, planning on fixing him up a bit and screaming at him about the hypocrisy of his fighting, since he always lectured us (i.e. Fred and Austin) not to get into it with anyone for the sake of a match.
I’d all but frozen in shock as soon as I entered the room, however.
The first thing I’d noticed was a rib that appeared to be millimeters from piercing straight through James’s black-bruised side, and I vaguely remembered him shaking of a Bludger to the side like it was nothing. I shoved the memory to the back of my mind to yell at him about that later.
At my gasp, he’d looked up, immediately wincing and bringing a hand to his head. There was a steady stream of blood running down the side of his face from a nasty gash in the side of his head; there was no way to avoid that from becoming a scar.
He made to get up from the bench he’d collapsed onto upon spotting me, and my heart all but stopped. Forgetting that his ankle was at a horrible angle, even the slightest jostle could dislodge the rib completely and allow it to pierce straight through his skin.
For the love of God.
“I’m begging you James,” I found myself rushing forward hurriedly and placing a hand on his shoulder to hold him still, “don’t move.”
James blinked at me, lingering bits of amber in his eyes from the anger that had sparked the fight taking over again.
Half-a-second later, however, his muscles relaxed under me, and he looked back down to his side.
“Bloody Bludger,” he mumbled.
I took in his beat appearance, heart clenching as I wonder what on earth Michael Turner could’ve said to cause James Potter to lose his cool and leap from his broom. The biggest personality similarity between James and Albus was their endless patience and tolerance, and James’s only exception to that rule was me (while situations involving me brought out even more patience in Al).
I’d question him later, I’d decided, though, moving to my locker. “Don’t move,” I repeated, pulling open the locker and finding my wand.
When I returned and crouched down in front of James, I hesitated slightly. I looked back up to meet his eyes, wincing internally at the pained expression on his usually ease- and charm-emulating face. “This is going to hurt worse than it does now,” I warned.
James’s paled skin seemed to go whiter. Honest to God, only James Potter could hold back tears up to this point.
He nodded slightly, closing his eyes as his fists clenched.
I bit my lip again, returning to the popping rib. It was times like these that I began to reconsider my chosen future profession.
I ran a hand down his insanely toned side, holding back another wince as I felt his muscles tense again.
The ribs felt terrible, as if the usually perfect rows had become crossed.
Well, shit.
I performed an X-ray Charm, and had to bite my lip again at the multitude of broken ribs.
“Maybe I should go find Madame Pomfrey…” I started, looking back up to James’s face.
He began shaking his head however, wincing and stopping as he opened his eyes. “I’m about to pass out here, Zar,” he spoke faintly but firmly.
“But I –“
“You’ve fixed my ribs before.”
“Yes, but –“
“I trust you, Ara.”
I know I should’ve gotten up and left right then and there, just because he called me that, but instead, my eyes flickered back to the mangled ribs.
I swear, if I wasn’t so damn arrogant, I wouldn’t have trusted myself to do this.
I trained my wand on the popped rib and flicked it, fighting to not shut my eyes as the rib yanked itself back into place and James let out a strangled cry.
I quickly flicked it again to heal the rib, and then a third and fourth time to repair the other two cracked ribs. I hurried to tap my wand to his side again in an attempt to dull the pain before looking back up to his face, biting my lip worriedly.
James had gone terribly pale, face screwed up in agony, and I noticed that he had a tight death-grip on my arm, knuckles pure white.
I looked back down to the X-ray Charm to find everything else to be in order. “Looks good,” I smiled back at him feebly.
He chuckled slightly, eyes flickering open. “You are amazing, Zar.”
“A fact you seem to forget often,” I shot back to him, as light and teasing as possible before looking back over him.
Remembering his ankle, I dropped my hands down to his left leg, running my fingers along the swollen ankle.
James winced again and I looked back up to him. “Broken,” I informed him, flicking my wand again to set it in place.
I then proceeded to stitch up the many bleeding wounds and clean off the blood.
Done with that, I looked back to his face. “Anything else?” I questioned.
He shrugged, but then grimaced slightly. “It’s a bit of an overall aching, really.”
I frowned slightly at his slumped form; he’d followed through on not moving.
“Sit up straight,” I commanded.
He did so, and then winced again, bringing a hand to his right side.
I immediately removed his hand and instead ran mine over his side, stopping when he gasped and gripped my arm halfway down.
Using another X-ray Charm, I found that this rib was cracked as well.
Fixing it, I looked back up to him. “Better?”
He nodded, smiling slightly. “Much. Thanks.”
I returned the smile, climbing back up to my feet, “I still want you to go up to the Hospital Wing,” I added.
His eyes widened. “But she’ll make me stay there!” he protested, “Party!”
My eyes narrowed. “You are not going to a Gryffindor party without taking some sort of potion; you’ll be passed out in the middle of the balcony. You need to get something for the ‘overall pain.’”
James opened his mouth to protest some more, but the door burst open before he could.
“Fucking Merlin, James!” Rose cried, charging in after the team. ‘”What the hell were you thinking?”
James’s eyes darkened suddenly, forgetting the argument. “Michael Turner is a sick bastard.”
“Well, it was bloody fantastic!” Allison raved, ignoring the look Callie shot her.
“Honestly, James,” Louis shook his head, “What could he have said?”
Before he could answer, however, Rose had taken over. “You looked like hell,” she bustled forward, “Anything broken?”
“Not anymore,” he assured, eyes flickering over to me.
“Well, then thank Merlin for Rina,” the redhead nodded in approval, “You looked about ready to pass out.”
“Be a dear and make sure he gets some sort of potion from the Hospital Wing, will you Rose?” I asked her sweetly, feeling James’s glared on the back of my head. She, of all people, would be able to make him do whatever she wanted; Rose was just gifted like that. “He’s complaining about everything hurting.”
James was now glaring daggers, officially beyond furious.
Bloody men and their oversized egos.
“Are you even listening, Zar?” James shouted suddenly in the present.
I jumped, jolting out of the memory.
“Yeah,” I nodded quickly, “I’m stupid and you hate me, blah, blah, blah, whatever.”
James’s eyes narrowed. “You forgot the most important part.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Which is?”
“Don’t get yourself killed the day before the match.”
I sighed, unable to help an eye roll. Honest to God, I didn’t intend to ruin the match for him. Really, I didn’t.
I know this season is hugely important for James; he’s hoping to be recruited by teams in the British League this year, and captaining a victorious team is definitely a way to get recruited. As soon as scouts found out he’d managed to take over the lead after being so far behind Ravenclaw, they’d be flocking to the school come time for the Slytherin match.
So, consequently, it’s up to me to get him his big win, and I knew I’d do just about anything to get it.
Getting myself killed wouldn’t help him, I admit, but some risk would be necessary, whether or not James chose to see that.
And I told him so.
Which consequently lead to more yelling.
Go figure.
By the time I’d ambled into my dormitory that evening, I was done. I was in massive amounts of aching pains all over the place, my throat was hoarse from screaming at James all night, and I had that feeling that usually meant I was going to wake up sick.
I swear to God, if I woke up sick and ruined James’s game for him, I would never forgive myself. There’s no way in hell I was going to let Ravenclaw or Slytherin have to satisfaction of beating us out. Gryffindors don’t lose.
“You look like hell,” Rose informed me as I trudged into the room.
As if I hadn’t heard that a thousand times this week.
“We better win,” was all I said before falling onto my bed.
The redhead looked up from her Charms book and frowned over at me. “You sound terrible as well.”
“That’s what happens when you’ve spent all week screaming at an impossibly stubborn Potter.”
Rose snorted. “James is stubborn? What about you?”
I glared up at her. “What about me?”
“You have never stopped to consider any possibility other than your own on anything.”
My eyes narrowed. “Don’t compare me to the git.”
“Whatever,” she shrugged, returning to her book.
I continued watching her for a bit, contemplating.
Sure, I may have some issues, but I honest to God tried his way, at least. It just didn’t work.
“He’s got his own point of view, Rina,” Rose answered my thoughts without looking up.
“A twisted one,” I grumbled, laying on my back to stare at the canopy of my bed.
“Where are the others?” she changed the subject, still not looking around.
I shrugged. “Callie went up to the Hospital Wing with Austin, and Allison was in the common room with Louis and Scorpius.”
“Why’d Austin have to go to the Hospital Wing?” Rose frowned, finally looking up with worry etched onto her face.
I turned my head to face her, sighing. “He was packing up the Bludgers and did something to his ankle. I would’ve looked at it, but James had me doing laps again.”
Rose’s frown became a bit hostile as she turned her attention back to her book. “Git. You’re already on the brink of a fever, and he can’t allow you to stop running out in the cold long enough to fix Austin’s ankle?”
I shrugged. “That’s what I’ve been saying.”
She sighed. “You need to sleep. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
I nodded, sighing again. This had better go well.
~*~
We are so screwed.
Just my bloody luck, I did wake up sick.
Sneezing and sniffling all over the place sick.
Bloody fantastic.
Callie and Rose had immediately jumped in to try and get me to stay in bed.
Like hell.
After I spent a good twenty minutes refusing, Callie begged me to at least get a Pepper-Up Potion from Madame Pomfrey.
I had to refuse even more adamantly to that; Pomfrey would’ve pulled me out of the match straight away.
So, finally, finally, I was dressed in thick, tight layers in an attempt to block out wind and keep in heat, looking like I’d been jinxed all red and puffy, and was sipping steaming hot chocolate in the Great Hall.
Allison was pumped, but Callie was still fusing over me, sending me worried looks. I had to ignore her.
All of Gryffindor was buzzing, for some reason feeling certain that we would win.
That was a lot of faith, no doubt, considering how fucking impossible scoring over 240 points more than the opposing team was going to be. That was a good 10 goals, plus the snitch. And Callie had her work cut out for her as well. She had to actually make sure we had enough points before getting the Snitch.
Granted, most people were just counting on us claiming second place after this match, giving us until after the Slytherin one for first, but I wasn’t counting on that. We had to beat Ravenclaw out this time. James didn’t say it, but he wanted this desperately.
Not to mention we’d be legends. I’d always wanted to be a legend.
The tension was thick, to say the least. The school was divided exactly in half, the Slytherins supporting Ravenclaw and Hufflepuffs on our side.
All across the Hall, people were murmuring in excitement, placing bets and reeling off past years’ stats.
Sitting amongst the mass of scarlet and gold at the Gryffindor table with my hot chocolate and sneezing all over the place, I was really feeling a sense of swelling pride at all the confidence the idiots around us seemed to have in us after taking a look at me.
This match was going to be all Allie and James. And Louis, who had to block every single goal with is life.
With the looks Callie kept shooting me, there was also a sense of guilt.
Bloody hell.
I sighed, looking up at the enchanted ceiling.
It was sleeting again, and there was massive wind outside the windows.
We are so screwed.
As long as there wasn’t lightning, this match was going to happen.
I was probably going to come out of it with hypothermia, the Ravenclaws were going to have a fantastic time fouling in this fog, Callie was going to have a difficult time finding the Snitch, and none of us were going to be able to keep our brooms on course, but it was going to be epic.
James’s play book was done.
This match was going to have to be all improvisation.
He was going to be ecstatic.
Sarcastically, of course.
“Where is James?” I found myself asking, looking around the Hall.
Rose, who was doing the same thing, shrugged, craning her neck to see over all the bustling heads.
“None of the boys are down yet,” Callie frowned worriedly, looking down the table as well.
“Relax,” Allison grabbed more toast, “We have over an hour ‘till the match; they have plenty of time.”
“I suppose,” she nodded slowly, returning to her food, still frowning.
“Load up on your carbs,” Rose glanced from Callie to me.
I sighed, reaching for toast as I set down my empty mug.
And the I paused, suddenly sneezing violently into my arm.
“Ugh,” I sniffled, picking up the toast.
“Here,” Rose refilled my mug, this time with coffee. “Caffeine.”
I smiled slightly in thanks, taking a bite of toast before setting it down again and reaching for the mug.
When Rose looked up again, glancing towards the entrance, she frowned.
I followed her gaze curiously, only to find that James and Fred had finally arrived, along with Tristan Connors, one of their dorm mates, who also happened to be the commentator for the match. He always had loads of fun with that job.
What had given Rose and I a pause, however, was that Ravenclaw’s Seventh Year Chaser, Claire Wilkins, was talking with James with what appeared to be a worried expression.
For his part, James appeared furious, even from the distance, jaw set and eyes hardened.
Claire spoke quickly, glancing over his shoulder as if afraid someone would walk in behind him and overhear, and James was just looking at her, expression falling further into terrifying territory.
“Curious,” Rose’s frown deepened, and she jumped up suddenly, making her way towards the pair.
As I watched, James finally nodded once and said something, just as Rose reached them.
Claire smiled weakly, a bit of a relieved expression taking over her face, before she sent Rose a fleeting smile and hurried past them to her table.
Rose, ignoring James’s cold fury, questioned him, frowning.
He only shook his head and said something, making to pass her.
Rose stopped him however, grabbing his arm and saying something else.
This seemed to get a reaction out of him, and James’s eyes widened as he turned his attention to her.
Rose nodded, speaking again and motioning to our table.
James glanced over, eyes wide with worry, running his hand through his hair as his eyes met mine and widened further. He spoke again turning back to Rose, who nodded once more, before they both made their way over.
“Are you alright, Ara?” he looked me over worriedly.
“Yes?” I frowned in confusion from him to Rose, who shook her head.
“Definitely not,” she told him.
“You do look terrible,” James agreed, frowning at me. “Can you play?”
Before I could answer, I had to sneeze again, and Callie took the opportunity to answer for me.
“No.”
“Yes,” I corrected, sending her a look.
“Definitely not,” Rose agreed with her.
“But –“
“They’re right,” James sighed, looking at me, running frustrated fingers through his hair. “I can’t let you play.”
“Sure you can!” I insisted. “You can’t take over Ravenclaw in the stands without me!”
James sighed. “I know, but –“
“So I have to play!”
James groaned, running his hand through his hair again. “We are so bloody screwed.”
“Don’t let her play!” Rose cried.
“Maybe we’ll put her in if we need her later on –“
“No!” Rose and I both cried, but with obvious different sentiments.
“You can’t put her in!” Rose cried, just as I insisted, “I have to play!”
“So, so screwed,” James repeated, looking back to me.
I did my best not to appear sick, willing my face to lose the paleness and my body to stop bloody shuddering.
James finally let out a sigh. “Just try and stay out of the bulk of the rain, yeah?”
His eyes flickered over me worriedly, and then he disappeared in the next second to join Fred and Tristan.
“What the hell does he mean ‘stay out of the bulk of the rain’?” I found myself frowning after him, before turning back to the girls in puzzlement, “There’s rain everywhere!”
“Git,” Rose glared after him.
“Oh, come off it,” Allison rolled her eyes, “She practically begged.”
“Most practical decision he’s ever made,” I nodded in agreement.
And then I sneezed.
Go figure.
Rose eyed me warily and then sighed in resignation. “Fine, whatever. See if I care when you die of bloody pneumonia.”
I shrugged, reaching for my coffee. “At least I’ll die doing something I love.”
She rolled her eyes, still annoyed as she started in on her eggs. “Mental.”
“What’s with her?” Albus frowned, taking a seat across from me as Austin plopped down next to him and Louis squeezed in between me and Allison.
“Smile, Love,” Scorpius prodded the redhead, taking a seat next her.
She sent him a glare, to which he responded with a kiss.
“Piss off,” she grumbled.
“She’s upset that I’m playing today,” I answered Albus, rolling my eyes.
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a moment, but then I sneezed, again, and his eyes widened.
“Bloody hell, Rina!” he exclaimed. “You look terrible!”
“Does James know?” Louis frowned.
I nodded, sniffling as I sipped my coffee again.
“She practically begged to play,” Allie repeated, popping a piece of sausage into her mouth.
“Please talk her out of it,” Callie turned her attention to him and Albus.
Al sighed. “Sorry, there’s no way with her.”
“Because she’s a right idiotic bint,” Rose felt the need to add.
Callie sighed resignedly. “Fine. I’ll just get the Snitch fast, shall I?”
“No!” Allison, Austin and I shouted in unison.
“We have to score 100 points before you can get the Snitch,” Austin went on.
“Oh, well if the standings are more important than Rina’s health,” Callie crossed her arms.
“That’s the point!” I cried, “What a waste of time me playing would be if we didn’t beat out Ravenclaw! Make sure we’re well ahead, Cals.”
She sighed again. “Fine, if it really means that much.”
“It does,” Allison nodded quickly.
“But keep an eye on her,” Albus added, eyes clouding with concern as he nodded towards me.
“No worries,” Austin assured.
I was about to glower at them in annoyance again for fussing, but I instead had to sneeze.
Fuck my life.
“You bloody well better block every one of those shots so they can get their points faster,” Rose narrowed her eyes at Louis.
“Of course,” he assured nodding, “I want us all out of the rain.”
“Come on, you lot,” Allison recaptured everyone’s attention, “Don’t mess with the mood.”
“What mood?” Rose frowned.
“The Quidditch mood!” she cried, “This atmosphere’s the best. Really gets me pumped and all that.”
I smiled slightly. I was with her on that one.
“Good luck, Rina!” Emily Harris, a blonde seventh year in our house, called over with a smile, walking by with Rachel Trainer, the both of them sitting next to Fred a little ways down the table.
“You’re going to need it,” Rose added to me with a glare.
Bint.
“Don’t mess with the mood,” Allison repeated.
“It’s okay,” Louis assured, “just ignore her and listen for everything else.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Really,” he insisted, “Look,” he pointed to the Hufflepuff table, “that fourth year just put three galleons on Callie, that seventh year put ten on Rina being the top scorer, those fifth years over there,” he pointed to the Ravenclaw table, “are hoping for James and Turner to get into another fight, and that kid put five galleons on it happening with his friend adding another five on James winning. That other kid’s yelling at him to show house loyalty and put ten on Turner. Those Slytherins think Allison will hex someone and those over there are betting on who’ll be knocked out first, Callie or Claire. Those second years,” he went on returning to our table, “are telling the first years about last year’s final, that fifth year kid thinks Fred’s going to Bludger Kristy because they broke up last month, and the fourth year has ten galleons on Claire from Ravenclaw falling off first, but Fred’s putting twenty on Rina falling off first. Stacey Hart’s laughing at the idea and I think James is paling at the thought.”
I raised another eyebrow at him. “Are you making this up, or can you actually hear?”
“Oh, no, I heard it,” Louis assured her, nodding.
Allison frowned. “You’re barely half part werewolf and you can hear all that?”
He shrugged. “Guess so.”
“Honestly,” I glanced over at the blonde, “Have you ever been able to get away with anything around him?”
Allison tilted her head to the side a bit, but nodded. “Makes sense.”
I looked back down to where Emily seemed to be admonishing Stacey Hart while Fred said something else to James. “Does Stacey really dislike me?” I turned back to Louis.
“’Fraid so, Love,” he nodded.
I frowned. “Really?”
He nodded again, looking back over to her. “Apparently, it’d be funny if you fell, and Emily’s telling her not to get James and Fred riled up. Bloody hell, James isn’t looking too happy.”
“He’s been like that for a while,” I waved it off, “Claire was saying something to him. Did you hear what, Rose?”
The redhead looked up and shook her head. “He wouldn’t tell me.” She frowned, glancing back towards him. “Said not to worry about it, but I think it may be something to worry about. You lot watch your backs out there, alright?”
“Please stop fussing,” Allison rolled her eyes. “We’ve done this plenty. We’re losing the mood again.”
I sneezed again, but ignored the looks Callie and Rose were sending me, glancing around the Hall instead.
It really did seem like everyone was pumped for the game; the tension was thick, Troy Fuller of Hufflepuff was already walking around taking bets for the official pool and calling out stats and kids were arguing about the two teams’ chances vehemently all over the place.
This was the biggest game since we played Slytherin in the finals two years ago. It was huge because we had always been the best team, but Ravenclaw had dominated in their first game. Not to mention the mysterious feud between James and Michael Turner. There were many stories going on about what could’ve been about, but no one knew for sure.
Then there was Professor Chang’s hatred for us, not to mention McGonagall’s obvious favoritism.
And, because it was Hogwarts, we had to throw in Fred and Kristen Davis’s break up, along with the whole issue with Allison turning down Ravenclaw Beater Clint Lawson last Hogsmeade visit, and (as ridiculous as it is) Martin Tyler, the Ravenclaw Keeper and a sixth year Prefect, and Louis supposedly battling it out for the Head Boy title next year.
Hogwarts Quidditch factors in everything, as if my marks on last week’s Potions assignment or the lack of potatoes last month at dinner have anything to do with Quidditch.
But, nonetheless, this was all talked about information, facts and rumors being exchanged at high speed across the Hall as everyone tried to figure out the match before the first whistle had even been blown.
“Alright, that’s it,” James stood suddenly from his seat and turned to us, “Get your arses to the changing rooms you lot!”
“Thanks a lot, Stace,” Fred sent to the blonde girl in front of him an annoyed look, getting up as well, “Now we’re going to have another full out fight in the changing rooms.”
I frowned when he said that, exchanging confused looks with Callie, but all was explained once we’d gotten changed.
“For the love of God, Ara, you’re sick as it is!” James shouted, “There’s no need to get yourself killed!”
“Who said I was going to get myself killed!” I shouted right back at him. “It’s not like you like me enough to care if I do die, anyways. I’m perfectly capable of playing a game of Quidditch!”
“Not if you try that damn Hummingbird Nose Dive or some Vertigo Trick Shot!”
“Those work!” I defended, crossing my arms.
“If you try to steal the whole damn show –“
“I’m no showoff!” I cried, taking a moment to cough violently before glaring at him again.
James raised an eyebrow, arms crossed with a smartass expression on his face.
“It’ll be fine!” I insisted.
James sighed. “How ‘bout you at least try to stick to my book.”
I snorted. “Yeah right.”
“Well, I’m not letting you do something stupid on a whim,” he informed me, “We don’t have time to play around today; this is serious.”
Play around?
“Play around?” my eyes narrowed dangerously, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, you know,” James motioned absently with his hands, “You take a chance on some stupid move and you may or may not –“
“I will,” I corrected through gritted teeth.
“ – get lucky,” he finished.
“You think this is luck?” I found myself screaming, “I spend bloody hours on this stuff! You’d be nowhere without me! There’s no such thing as luck Potter! Not for me, there isn’t! If I was lucky, my life wouldn’t be this shit with you in it! I bloody work hard! I’m not fucking lucky! I’m good!”
James raised an eyebrow. “You think you have it bad? I have to deal with the likes of you on my team.”
“Oh, it’s your team is it?” I glared furiously, “Well, your bloody team would be nowhere without me!” I repeated, breaking into a cough from a combination of yelling and being sick before returning to yelling at him. “And, yes, I do have it bad because I have an absolute prick as a bloody Captain! They would’ve taken the damn position away from you if I wasn’t on the team because without me, all you’d have are your Godforsaken plays which every bloody team can learn! And then you’d be an epic fail and then your team would be the bloody laughing stock of the whole damn” (pause for sneeze) “school!”
“Thanks for believing in us, Love,” Austin called across the room.
I ignored him, glowering at James angrily, not even looking away when I started bloody coughing all over the place again.
He just looked back, as if daring me to defy him. I’m pretty sure I’d already managed it, but he was giving me that same look Al gave me that made me feel like I was the ridiculous one that was making no sense when I knew I was right.
Bloody Potters.
“Are you done?” he asked, expression emotionless, as if I hadn’t just proved him to be the worst bloody Captain in Gryffindor history.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m going to do every single bloody thing that I can think of that has potential to get me ‘killed,’” I informed him.
I then proceeded to turn on my heel with a smirk, not bothering to waste time with his reaction, only to be faced with Callie’s disappointed head shaking.
Bloody bint could go to hell with James if she wanted.
I sneezed, found a tissue to blow my nose, and then marched over to my locker. I’d been shivering all over the place ever since we’d gotten out here.
I pulled off my robes and yanked open the locker, ignoring the eyes I knew were trained on me, and started sifting through the clothes piled in there. Eventually, I found another thermal long-sleeved shirt and pulled it on over the other two. I then pulled my robes back on and shut my locker again, just as the crackling of the magical microphone sounded outside over all the rain, wind, and overzealous students.
“Ladies, gentlemen and Slytherins!” the booming voice of Tristan Connors followed the crackling, “Welcome to the battled of the Gryffindor Lions and Ravenclaw Birds!”
“Birds do tend to fly better than lions,” the muffled voice of Professor Chang came over the roar of the students.
“Yes, but lions eat birds,” Tristan reminded, “Now, let’s hear it for those Lions!”
There was another roar of deafening cheers and boos, and I was in the zone.
I twisted my hair up into a tight bun and turned to face the rest of the team, acting as if I hadn’t sneezed, again.
“Go team?” Austin looked from me to James, who’d been watching me with a tight expression.
My eyes flickered from the furious Potter to the Beater.
Lips curling into a determined smirk, I picked up my broom and met his eyes. “Let’s do this.”
A/N: Chapter 2, and I'm already writing fillers! But I'm setting the plot up for you, I promise, and next chapter is the game, which is fun, and then you get the actual plot and drama! Excited? Tell me so in a review!
Disclaimer: The stuff that you know doesn't belong to me
Chapter 3: The Battle
“Introducing the Gryffindor team!” Tristan called exuberantly as we all got ready to mount our brooms. This was always exciting because Tristan took special effort to give us all encouraging, albeit dramatic, introductions.
He really got me feeling invincible, at least.
“Part savage werewolf with crazy mind-reading powers, guard dog of the impenetrable Gryffindor posts, impossible-to-get-passed Keeper, the Wolf, Keeper Louis Weasley!”
“If only I could read their minds,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes and flying out to the cheers, which spectacularly managed to drown out the boos.
“And next, we have the man in-synch with the Bludger, the man who thinks with the Bludger, the man who thinks like the Bludger, the Bludger himself, all six-foot-five-inches of the bloody bear –“
“Language, Mr. Connors!” Chang cried in dismay.
“ – out for birdy blood, Beater Fred Weasley!”
“Damn straight I want bird blood,” he muttered determinedly, exchanging dark looks with James before flying out after Louis.
I frowned in slight confusion for a moment, but then Tristan went on with calling out the team and I had to pay attention again.
“And his partner in crime, the Rock, the bat that sets the Bludger flying, the brains of their operation –“
Austin smirked.
“ – dominating this storm with far more dangerous rains of his own –“
So cheesy.
I had to roll my eyes.
“Beater Austin Raine!”
He disappeared, still smirking smugly. Fantastic.
“Quaffle-slayer, bird-slayer, crossing that line between genius and insane, with the lethal temper of a hungry Hippogriff, Chaser Allison Harper!”
“He’s really looking to spike that temper,” she scowled.
She was in denial of her insanity.
“For the Ravenclaws, Sweetie,” Callie prompted her to kick-off.
She did so, the screaming from the stands still overwhelming.
I sneezed, getting all fidgety and excited for my turn.
“Even more lethal than a hungry dragon, with the fire of a Hungarian Horntail, her own species of dragon –“
Oh dear Lord.
“ – a bloody monster –“
“Language!”
“ – death-defying, cold-defying –“
I sneezed.
“ – Captain-defying, straight out of a birdy nightmare, the best damn –“
“Connors!”
“ – Chaser Hogwarts has ever seen –“
“Me, not you,” I added smugly to James.
“ – the gorgeous lioness herself, Chaser Arabella Audrina Zar!”
Way to play on names again.
And way to piss off the Dragon; no one uses my full name. Unless they want a bloody nose.
Git-face was definitely going to get it, I decided, kicking off the ground and flying out onto the pitch to the screaming and yelling and the roaring of lions and chants of my name, all of which strengthened my belief in our victory.
As I flew around the pitch, I took the effort to fly close enough to Tristan’s head to “accidently” kick him in the face before I joined the others in the center of the pitch.
“Rina Zar, ladies and gents,” Tristan shot me a glare while the crowd laughed at his bloody nose.
Professor Chang (relunctantly) fixed it for him before he went on to introduce James.
“And the defied Captain himself –“
I smirked.
“ – leader of Hogwarts best ever Quidditch team, only man stupid enough to enrage the Dragon, with the fantastic plays that no one cares about –“
I smirked some more. Tristan always did like me better than his best friend.
Because that’s how great I am.
“ – the Hero, the Legend, the Gladiator, Chaser James Potter!”
As he flew out, I could clearly tell that he was glaring at his friend, and he probably would’ve gotten the dark-haired boy in the face as well, if the stupid kid hadn’t ducked.
James landed next to me, making it a point to not look at my smirk.
“And, finally, the Goddess of Quidditch, with the grace and beauty of a swan and the stealth of a lioness on the hunt, the girl who has yet to fail in delivering a victory, the Angel of the Gryffindors, golden Seeker Callie Mena!”
Even from the distance, she was obviously blushing like mad as the entire red-and-gold crowd broke out into a chant of her name.
She landed next to me, face on fire and ignoring the smirk I was sending her as she mumbled about Tristan and his “stupid exaggerations.”
“And then there’s Ravenclaw!” Tristan added, pretending to look like he cared, “Keeper, Martin Tyler! Beaters, Clint Lawson and Captain, Michael Turner! Chasers, Claire Wilkins, Kristen Davis, and Hunter Flynn! And lastly, Seeker, Mason Delroy!”
The Ravenclaw supporters made up for his lack of enthusiasm as their team made its way out with loud and boisterous cheers of their own.
I was too busy falling into another coughing fit to pay all that much attention as they landed, and by the time I looked up to see Madame Hooch step onto the field, I was soaked through to the bone and shuddering like mad. A violent shiver ran down my spine as a particularly strong gust of wind blew over the pitch, and I instinctively hugged myself.
This, of course, was a mistake, because Callie glanced over at me with worried eyes, and honest to God, the last thing we needed was for our Seeker’s concentration to sway from the match and to me instead.
She seemed to read these sentiments in my eyes, and she sighed, turning away to face the Ravenclaws.
I did the same, taking in the equally drenched team, sneezing again.
Now, I would never admit this, but I felt so terrible that I almost wished James had pulled me out of the match. I couldn’t stand still, quivering in my boots, my throat was so dry and itchy, my nose hurt and was disgustingly drippy, my eyes were stinging and watering without the help of the wind, and the all over-soreness from all the practicing was joined by massive body aches and a smashing headache to boot.
I groaned internally as I sneezed again, longing for my warm cozy bed as I tried to control my shuddering. I honest to God felt as awful as I looked.
“Captains, shake hands,” Hooch commanded.
James and Michael were glaring daggers at each other; even through the awfulness, I could feel the tension.
Callie was teetering nervously, and Louis and Austin were shooting worried looks to James. Allison stood determined, looking the Ravenclaws over disdainfully, and Fred had joined James in glaring darkly at Michael.
For their part, the Ravenclaws appeared to be expressing the same diversity of emotions. Clint was looking us over menacingly while Hunter and Mason smirked at us all. Martin, who was a sweetheart, really, seemed to be fighting the urge to roll his eyes, though he was glancing at his Captain a bit anxiously. Kristen held the same superior air as Allison, and Claire appeared similar to Callie, dreading the impending match, eyeing their two Beaters in an apprehensive manner.
Michael’s eyes flickered over the rest of us, lingering on me before he smirked back at James. “Your Chaser appears to be shaking in fear.”
James’s eyes narrowed at him, but he didn’t look around straight away.
Claire glanced over at me worriedly before looking back to her Captain, just as I sneezed twice, violently.
When I looked back up, however, it appeared I’d missed something, because suddenly, Louis and Austin had joined James and Fred in looking fit for murder while Allison’s eyes narrowed furiously and Callie glanced from her to me with wide eyes.
For the love of God, I was not going to fall off my broom from sneezing!
These people needed to lighten up.
Clint, Hunter and Mason were smirking sickly by this point while Kristen made a face at the back of her Captain’s head. Martin was shaking his head, looking ready to step forward, clearly fearing another brawl, and Claire’s expression dropped further.
“Mr. Turner!” Madame Hooch’s eyes narrowed furiously, “That is extremely uncalled for and inappropriate! Gryffindor will be beginning with a penalty shot!”
The rest of the team did not seem appeased, but I was all for this; the more fouls they committed, the faster we would get our points. I just wanted to get out of the cold.
I coughed again as Madame Hooch continued to admonish Michael for whatever he may have said, though he didn’t seem to be heeding her words.
In fact, his attention was focused on James again, who looked ready to lunge, and Callie actually stepped forward and held his arm firmly to keep him from acting on the cold fury burning in his eyes.
I snorted; as if that little girl could’ve held back all six-foot-three-inches of James Potter.
“The Captains have yet to shake hands.”
I jumped slightly, remembering Tristan and the restless crowd as he spoke over the howling wind.
“Those of you who bet on another fight, looks like you’re going to get lucky,” he went on.
“Mr. Connors!” Chang sent him a glare as I glanced up.
“Now, for the sake of formalities, I must beg of you, Mr. Potter,” Hooch sent him an almost sympathetic look, “shake hands.”
“And there we have it,” Tristan called as the two Captains reached out to clasp hands tightly for less than a second.
It was enough for Hooch and the crowd, however, and the onlookers went wild.
“Still a chance for a brawl,” Tristan assured as the crowd roared in excitement.
“Mr. Potter,” Madame Hooch looked over to him, offering the Quaffle.
He glanced at me over his shoulder with a pointed look; I wasn’t going to get this penalty shot.
I sighed, rolling my eyes, nodding and allowing him to take the Quaffle as I shuddered again.
“I’m glad to be facing you actually; I wouldn’t have the…opportunity otherwise,” Michael smirked.
James’s jaw clenched, and even from the distance I was afraid some of the fury spitting from his eyes would find some way to strike me dead.
Callie gripped his arm again as Louis stepped forward, while Madame Hooch sent Michael another withering glare.
“Mr. Potter,” she prompted, turning her attention to him again.
“Here we go again, those of you who bet!” Tristan seemed to feel the need to add.
There were catcalls and leers all around the stadium as James closed his eyes and breathed deeply in through his nose.
“After all, you do have rather tantalizing Ch –“
My sneeze cut Michael off, and he trained another look on me.
James glanced over his shoulder at me as well, and then, still appearing furious, he chucked the Quaffle to Allison and turned away.
The unsuspecting blonde caught it, eyes widening in confusion.
One look at James’s expression, however, and she sighed.
“If I make this, please calm the fuck down so that I don’t have to do everything.”
James nodded once, not looking to her.
“If you will please get into position Mr. Tyler,” Madame Hooch turned to Martin.
The Ravenclaw nodded, sending a wary look to James before mounting his broom and kicking off.
Allison did the same, getting positioned in front of the goal hoops to take her shot, just as Martin took his spot to defend them.
“It seems Gryffindor is starting this match with a penalty shot!” Tristan informed the crowd. “Turner felt the need to say something imbecilic, no doubt. The Slayer gets ready to take the shot and…straight through the center! Gryffindor leading before the whistle 10-0!”
Miraculously, Tristan’s overzealous exclamations into the booming microphone were drowned out by the roar of the Gryffindor supporters and the chants of Allison’s new nickname, “Slayer.”
I was honestly a bit unsure of how she’d react to that one.
She returned to the center to take up her position flanking James on the right with me opposite on the left. Fred and Austin took their spots below us, while Louis flew off to the goal posts, and Callie faced off with Mason above us.
I watched as the Bludgers and Snitch were released, vaguely hearing Tristan announce the fact, and then Hooch finally, finally, tossed the Quaffle.
And…
I sneezed.
~*~
“The Wolf is on fire!” Tristan manged to drown out the boos of the Ravenclaws. “That’s Louis Weasley saving yet another shot and – fuck, that was close!” he shouted, standing to hold the microphone out of an enraged Professor Chang’s reach as Louis dodged a particularly close Bludger.
His broom rolled through the air, and Allison streaked across the pitch under the blond, just as he released the Quaffle and straightened back in front of the hoops.
The crowd roared as Allison zoomed straight up into the air and then across the pitch towards me.
I blinked, eyes blurred as they watered and unable to see clearly through all the fog. But, as Allison raised her hands and Kristen flew straight in front of her, my eyes widened and I looked down in time to see James speeding away with the Quaffle.
Tristan was raving into his microphone about this latest play, and I had to agree that it had worked.
But, then again, Allison had had to veer off course to save the Quaffle in the first place.
To say the game had been exciting would be an understatement.
It had been insane.
We were two hours in, leading 120-90, and the rain and wind was lashing and whipping all around us.
I was in love with Austin, at least; He’d taken the first opportunity to direct a perfect Bludger at Martin, and it caught him right in the side.
The poor Keeper was still keeping vigil up there, but he was most definitely hindered. I almost felt terrible, but the sooner we won, the sooner I could get warm.
There had been fouls all over the place with the Ravenclaw team, mostly the two Beaters and Hunter and Mason, taking every opportunity to hinder us further.
For my part, I’d been doing a lot of staying out of the way, unless I was needed, for the past hour.
Not because I couldn’t play (I could), but because after an hour of physical assaults on me going unnoticed by Madame Hooch and my increasing shivering and sneezing, James had stopped passing the Quaffle to me.
Hovering in the sky and watching the game, I felt my heart clench a thousand times over, every time Allison was elbowed in the face and Callie was slammed into the stands. Fred and Louis were barely keeping their agony in check as they were forced to bare injuries that should’ve hindered their abilities; should’ve being the operative word because they were ignoring it all and playing just as fantastic as always with the same vigor. James and Austin, for their parts, were barely staying on their brooms, both hunched over after terrible blows to their ribs.
To say I was pissed would be an understatement.
I was beyond livid.
Way beyond.
These fucking Birds didn’t know who they were messing with.
If there was one thing I knew for certain, with every sickening blow they delivered to my friends, my consciousness of illness slipped away that much more. I was going to win us that top spot, even if it meant being out here all bloody night being punched in the face and ended in an hypothermic death.
I watched Austin and Fred employ fantastic Bludgers to block the three Ravenclaw Chasers, both screwing their faces up in pain as they swung, as James and Allison passed the Quaffle back and forth. Just as James sent it flying towards the center hoop, however, a Bludger came soaring towards it and knocked it off course and…straight towards me.
Game on.
I lunged for the leather-bound ball, and, with it secure in my grasp, I looped through the air to avoid Claire and shot off for the hoops.
“And there she goes again!” Tristan cried into the megaphone, “We haven’t seen much from Zar in the past hour or so, most likely because she’s descending into hypothermia. But that’s dedication folks, and – holy shit! Are you lot fucking seeing this?”
I couldn’t help but smirk as I sent my broom literally spiraling down towards the center hoop, and then cut a sharp left and brought it to a halt as I released the Quaffle and watched in satisfaction as it soared through the hoop, Martin staring at it in bewilderment.
Yeah, take that you good for nothing cheating wankers.
“Bloody Merlin’s pants!” Tristan cried as the noise of the crowd rose over the howling wind.
I glanced around to the commentator’s booth to see Tristan jumping up and down in excitement, ignoring Chang’s attempts to get a hold of the microphone.
“I swear she just disappeared with that speed!” he cried, “And was she spinning? I think she was! Where do you get this stuff, woman?”
I zoomed back around in time to catch the Quaffle as Allison passed it to me, and I quickly tossed it back.
She let it drop, however, for James who was right below her, but (I gasped in shock and consequently fell into a coughing fit) he missed.
Well, fuck.
Before I could dive, Kristen had snatched up the leather-bound ball.
“What the fuck was that, Potter?”
Chang didn’t seem to mind the obscenities this time, too busy watching smugly.
Ignoring the furious shouting from the stands, I chased after Kristen.
The raging wind almost blew me off course, but I verbally screamed at my Firebolt and steered it back towards the dark blonde head headed for Louis.
I noticed Allison closing in from the other side…almost there…
But a Bludger forced her to swerve at the last second and I cursed under my breath as Kristen got ready to take a shot for the left goal.
I cursed again when Louis shot off to the right, along with half the Gryffindors, but we all seemed to remember the mind-reading capabilities at the same time, and I had to fight the urge to join the cheers amidst Tristan’s incoherent shouting as Louis came up with the Quaffle.
Kristen appeared furious, but at the next second, she shot off to block Allison, and I noticed a Bludger distract James.
I caught Louis’s eye across the pitch, and he seemed to see the large form of Hunter Flynn speeding towards me at the same moment as I did.
So, he did the only logical thing.
He let the Quaffle slip from his fingers as I looped over the large Chaser, and then I zoomed across the pitch, noticing Claire diving towards the Quaffle.
I’d only just begun begging with the fates when a Bludger shot Claire off course, and, right over the Quaffle, I turned my broom at a straight ninety-degree angle and dove.
“For the love of God!” Tristan’s voice cut through the wind.
Forty feet from the ground, and I urged my broom to go faster, slipping forward slightly.
The wind gusted violently towards me again and I cursed.
If this doesn’t work, James is going to kill me.
Ten feet and I was still in a nosedive straight for the cold, hard earth, inches from the Quaffle. Reaching out, I grabbed the cold, wet leather ball and turned another ninety-degrees, skimming across the ground.
Tristan was still shouting, and I looked up, cursed, and jerked my broom around to avoid a Bludger, and then I spotted Allison and shot up towards her.
I waited until I saw a Bludger collide with Hunter, who was headed straight towards me again, before chucking the Quaffle to the blonde.
She sped off with it, and I followed, taking position again to appear as if she’d pass to me when Claire caught up.
Allison shot farther up into the air, however, and I shot off, waiting to catch the return after she made a goal.
Just as the Quaffle shot through the right hoop and I pulled up into the air with the leather-bound ball, I heard the piercing whistle.
I looked around to see Madame Hooch’s attention directed across the pitch.
Following her line of sight, I came to a halt.
Fifty feet across the pitch, and I could still see the fury in James’s eyes.
“It seems Gryffindor has called a timeout!” Tristan announced. “We’re two hours in, Gryffindor’s in the lead 140-90, and the sneezing-all-over-the-place Rina Zar has just become the top scorer of the match! Did you lot see her fly?”
I let my broom drift towards the ground, biting back a sigh.
James was most definitely angry.
Tristan was still raving about the team as I landed next to Callie, who was just looking at me.
Allison touched down right after me, and immediately began talking over the wind animatedly, motioning wildly with her hands.
Though I wasn’t paying much attention to her, I vaguely registered that she was commending my Vertigo Trick Shot.
My attention was instead focused across the pitch, to where James seemed to be screaming at Louis.
“Way to go, Rina,” Austin landed next to me and sighed, “Now James is going to get a chance to yell at all of us.”
I frowned around at him, sniffling. “What did you do?”
“Not only did we allow a Bludger to knock the Quaffle off course,” Fred began.
“But the Quaffle went right to you,” Austin rolled his eyes.
“Which provided you with the opportunity to perform that Vertigo Trick Shot,” Fred finished.
“But it was fantastic,” Austin added, eyes lighting up.
“Wasn’t it?” Allison nodded excitedly.
“Yeah, and if she’d sneezed in the middle of that spiral, she would’ve crashed to her death,” Callie reminded tightly.
“And if she’d sneezed while diving?” James and Louis approached us, arguing. “She would’ve slipped off the edge of her broom!” James cried furiously.
“James –“
“And you!” he cut Louis off and rounded on the two Beaters, “Control the damn Bludgers! We missed plenty of shots, and if you’d controlled that one coming for me, Ara wouldn’t have had to dive! Not to mention the one that almost killed Callie! There is a reason I put you idiots on my team!”
“Breathe, will you, James,” Allison stopped him. “This isn’t why you stopped the game.”
“Right,” he nodded.
Oh fantastic.
He rounded on me, fury shooting from his eyes.
I blinked, and then I bit my lip.
Well, shit.
I felt the tickle in my nose and bit down harder.
Don’t sneeze…don’t sneeze…don’t –
I sneezed.
And…James’s glare hardened.
“James,” Callie sent him a warning look.
He glared at me for a moment more, but I began coughing, and he sighed and turned away. “Can we please just get her out of the rain?”
“No!” I cried. “Look, just let me play and we’ll –“
I broke off coughing again and sighed at the look he sent me when I reemerged.
“Let me play,” I repeated, “and we’ll finish faster and I’ll go up to bed in my jammies, okay?”
James stared at me for a moment, but I sighed. “Please!”
“Look, faster, the better, James,” Callie spoke up, eyes flickering overhead, “I’ve been following this Snitch for forty-five minutes and –“
“You know where it is?” Austin’s eyes widened.
“Shush!” Allison sent him a glare and looked around frantically.
I glanced around as well, but the Ravenclaws were gathered at the other end of the pitch.
“Yes!” Callie nodded, “So get your stupid 100 point lead so that I can end this!”
James looked at her for a moment, but he finally sighed.
“Fine.”
“And this involves passing to Rina,” Allison added to him, “I can’t Chase without her, because, frankly, you’re an idiot. She’s much better at Quidditch sick than you are tonight. For the love of God, snap out of it!”
I was coughing again and shuddered as the raging wind picked up and threw icy rain into our faces. Flying through that was like being attacked by needles.
James looked from me around to the others as Callie shuddered as well.
I followed his gaze over the rest of the team, and all of a sudden, my shivering stopped as my realization of the cold slipped away.
Rain still lashing down at us and wind whipping it all around, I looked over the rest of the team.
Callie had a bruise on the side of her head from where Mason had shoved her into the stands when she’d feinted an hour-and-a-half ago. I saw the flicker of pain in her eyes as she brought her arms around to hug herself, and I remembered the Bludger she’d taken to the shoulder an hour ago.
Allison, for her part was sporting bloodied lips from where Hunter had physically punched her in the mouth to get her to drop the Quaffle, and I winced at the streak of dried blood across her check from where she’d attempted to wipe it away casually for James’s benefit. Furthermore, when the blonde moved, I noticed the limp, reminded of the illegal Bludger she’d taken to the side half-an-hour into the match.
As Louis brushed wet blond hair from his eyes, I saw his black and blue fingers, the result of another illegal Bludger aimed for his hands. I bit my lip as I realized he’d discarded his gloves, no doubt finding it too painful to keep them on, despite how many shots he’d blocked with those broken fingers.
Glancing over at Fred swinging his bat around, all I could think of was how phenomenally he’d been playing, considering that he’d been forced to switch to playing left-handed after a dirty Bludger to his elbow. I also felt a knot in my stomach as I watched him attempt, and fail, at straightening his right arm, consequently still gripping his broom at the same odd angle, and a fury ran through me as I considered all the times I’d seen him wince before redirecting that broom.
Austin seemed to notice my expression and touched my left arm gently.
I bit back a wince, that being the side that had been slammed into the stands forty minutes prior, and instead turned my attention to him.
I noticed how he seemed even shorter as he was hunched over, and my eyes hardened at the memory of Clint Lawson pretending to be aiming for the Bludger Austin was swinging at, and instead slamming his bat into his chest. Hooch hadn’t noticed this one either, and Austin had been hunched over for the past two hours.
I tore my gaze away from his crumbled form, and instead found myself watching James again as he surveyed the team as I had.
He looked just as terrible as the rest of them, his left arm hanging limp, probably broken at his side, while he looked over us all through one blackened eye from where Hunter had elbowed him in the face. His posture was similar to what I remember from the year before after his fight with Michael, most likely from the Bludger to the chest that had almost sent him backwards off his broom.
As I watched his face and his eyes swept over me, I frowned, noticing conflicting emotions and an internal struggle beyond his eyes. Like the rest of the team, I’d taken plenty of hits, and I vaguely remembered that my nose was likely broken with blood streaked across my face like Allison from when Clint had “accidently” swung his bat at me. I also figured my right eye was darkening with a bruise forming around it, and I couldn't put any weight on my left side where I'd gotten bludgered.
Finally, he met Callie’s eyes as she touched her left shoulder and winced, and he released another sigh. “Twenty minutes.”
“What –“
“Twenty minutes,” he repeated, looking at her pointedly, “I can’t let you lot keep this up –“
“Sure you can!” I interjected, realizing his words. The bitter wind had me numbed to pain as it is.
James rounded on me as his eyes narrowed. “If you care about this team, you will agree that I cannot.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but closed it again as I noticed Louis flex his fingers and wince out of the corner of my eye; I had to bite my lip to hold in my own grimace as I figured every bone in his hands was probably broken.
“They’ve been fouling us all over the place and Hooch can’t see a thing through this fog, so they're getting away with it –“
“Oh, come off it,” I found myself snorting, “Tristan and half the crowd can see it! She was a Ravenclaw, you know.”
Though, in reality, Madame Hooch had always been impartial for the most part, there’s no way she could’ve missed Allie being punched in the face. We were winning so dramatically, she probably thought she was leveling the playing field. It’s not like we needed the fouls since we were still kicking arse and playing phenomenally.
The Ravenclaws, on the other hand, we really slacking. Hunter was Chasing fine, but I got the feeling Claire was only playing half-heartedly and Kristen seemed to be getting emotions in the way. Martin seemed to be in the same boat as Claire, not to mention his smashed shoulder.
“Either way,” James went on, “we need to just get this over with. Actually,” he looked around at us all again, grimacing as Austin attempted to straighten up and his face screwed up in pain. He sighed, turning back to Callie, “Get that Snitch right away.”
Her eyes widened as mine did as well.
Every injury we’d suffered in the past two hours would be a waste if we didn’t reach our goal now!
We didn’t even have enough points to beat Slytherin in the standings at the moment, and they were in second after their brutish game against Hufflpuff.
Callie watched James’s crumpled expression as he turned away and winced, picking up his broom and running his fingers through his wet hair.
I watched as she looked over the rest of the team and finally looked to me.
Now, Callie, more than anyone else, wanted this to be over. She would’ve ended it forty-five minutes ago if it hadn’t been for James; beating out the other two teams had been insanely important to him. This was all he’d been talking about for a month, and this was all he’d come out here for today. This was the reason he’d let me play and the reason he’d put up with Allison’s bloodied face and Fred and Callie’s beat up appearances. He felt guilty and selfsish enough as it is.
Regaining his top position, and consequently earning himself some scout recognition, had been the soul driving force behind this match for all of us.
As Callie’s eyes met mine, I offered a slight nod. Twenty minutes.
“It seems we’re ready to reengage in battle!” Tristan’s booming voice called as we all mounted our brooms and flew up to our starting positions. “And those Claws better be prepared, because these Gryffindors look determined as hell! I’m terrified for their pride and dignity. I get the feeling that after all those dirty fouls and slimy tricks, those good for nothing Birds are about lose to a half disabled team. Hell, Fred Weasley is playing left-handed, Potter’s playing one-handed, and Zar’s still sick as hell! Look, she’s coughing again!”
And indeed, I was, but I looked back up to face off determinedly against a smug looking Kristen Davis.
“Spread some of those sick germs to them bastards, Rina!” Tristan called.
I smirked as Kristen made a face across from me.
I heard the shrill sound of Madame Hooch’s whistle, and I shot off after Hunter, who’d gotten a hold of the Quaffle.
James, who’d assumed the match was going to end in thirty seconds, was watching Callie’s masterfully executed a Haze-Veil Feint; she’d shot straight into the sky, as if she was chasing the Snitch, and had Mason following on her tail; she’d eventually return and leave him lost in the dark clouds.
Tristan, assuming the Seekers were chasing the Snitch as well, was shouting about them disappearing.
In the mean time, I’d caught up with Hunter and was leveling out with him.
I was going to get that Quaffle from him; there was no way in hell I was going to let Louis further injure himself by blocking shots just because we couldn’t play some bloody simple defense.
Hunter seemed to notice me out of the corner of his eye, but I realized a moment too late, and he’d already slammed me into the stands.
“Are you seeing this Hooch?” Tristan’s aghast exclamation carried through the wind as he forgot the Seekers. “Foul!”
I ignored him, gritting my teeth against a stabbing pain in my left arm, and I urged my Firebolt to catch up again.
“You know, you should really take care of yourself, Love!” Hunter shouted over his shoulder.
I caught up with him again and attempted to veer him off course, but, honestly, he was much bigger than me.
Because we’re Gryffindor, however, and all plays had flown off with the wind, Austin slammed a Bludger at Hunter, forcing him to drop the Quaffle.
He cursed into the wind as I grabbed it from the air and sharply cut my broom around and raced down to the opposite end of the pitch.
Hunter, responded by grabbing my broom and yanking me back.
“Foul!” Tristan cried again, but the only response he got was the roar of the crowd. Hooch was at the other end of the pitch monitoring Fred as he fought to reach a Bludger before Michael did.
I clenched my jaw and fouled a bit myself, swinging my foot back in an attempt to shake Hunter off, and I connected with some part of him and shot off.
“That’s right Rina!” Tristan shouted, "That’s the way to do it! And there’s a beautiful Bludger by Fred Weasley for the good for nothing scumbag –“
“Connors!”
The Gryffindors seemed to agree with him, however, as they cheered their approval.
I had to loop back up into the air and employ a Sloth Grip Roll in an attempt to dodge a Bludger before rushing back across the pitch.
The rain and wind grew fiercer, and I found myself far within the dark clouds. I figured no one could see me up here, and I took the opportunity to drop back into a Vertigo Spiral and shoot back down.
“ – where she went, but no doubt – holy fuck!”
I pulled my broom to a sudden halt and let the Quaffle soar directly through the center hoops, heard the screaming of the crowd, and looped back around to catch up with James who’d just caught an impossibly quickly recovered Quaffle passed by Allison.
“What is she doing?” he cried, referring to Callie who was circulating the pitch as if she were still looking for the Snitch.
“Getting you your points!” I shouted up to him as I caught the Quaffle he dropped to me and Allison looped back around.
I feinted a pass to her as Kristen flew at me and caught Austin’s eye. I released my Quaffle and allowed my broom to drop a few feet as Austin sent a Bludger to my previous position that simultaneously swayed Kristen and shot the Quaffle to James, who then shot down to the hoops.
“Fantastic play by Potter and Zar with the help of the Rock and another goal for Gryffindor!” Tristan shouted along with the crowd as the Quaffle looped through the left hoop. “160-90! That’s the Gryffindor way!”
Another Bludger from Austin, and the leather-bound ball flew to Allison, who made a grab for it, but lost it at the last second when a Bludger collided with her fingers.
She let out a stream of curses, screaming in agony before gritting her teeth and diving for the Quaffle.
I followed after her, swerving around another Bludger, and glanced up in time to see and hear Fred curse under his breath and grimace as he shot the Bludger off with the bat in his right hand in order to get a good angle.
My resolve strengthened with the image of his pale face and I blocked Claire from reaching the Quaffle as Allison snatched it from the air.
She winced when her fingers grasped it, however, dropping it again, and I cursed and shot off for it.
“Harper’s lost a hand as well,” Tristan informed the crowd as the Ravenclaws cheered, “Cork it, you sick bastards!” he added to them, standing and lifting the microphone away from Professor Chang again. “That’s Claire Wilkins with the Quaffle and Zar chasing after her. C’mon, Rina!”
I chased Claire across the pitch, turning my broom up as she dodged a Bludger, approaching Louis again.
I sped up slightly and then shot my broom down in front of her, successfully disorienting her, and she dropped the Quaffle, which James then caught.
He rushed back around to the goal posts with immense speed, and I took off after him, shooting up over him and zooming along parallel, Allison doing the same below him.
I sped up, waiting for him to score again and getting in position to recover the Quaffle, slightly ahead of him, when I heard Fred shout behind me.
I turned in time to see the Bludger hurtling towards James, eyes widening as he reared back and let out a strangled shout when it collided with his back and the Quaffle flew waywardly from his hands.
I noticed Hunter coming in for it, so I did the only think I could think to do.
James wasn’t watching anyway.
I swung off the broom, pulling it around with me as I kicked the Quaffle through the center hoop, and pulled myself back on, just as Hunter collided with me and my broom dropped to the ground.
“Mother fucker!” I screamed, vaguely hearing the crowd roar with disapproval as well, and yanked my broom back up and around, just as the shrill whistle blew with the wind.
“Thank you, Hooch!” Tristan shouted, “About time you noticed those gits massacring our team! That’s two fouls right there!”
Madame Hooch (miraculously) awarded us both fouls, which James allowed me to take, seeing as I was (sadly) now the least disabled Chaser on our team. He was barely sitting up on his broom at this point, and Allison had lost her right hand.
Bloody fantastic.
As I took the first shot, the sound of Allison’s scream shot through my mind, and I gritted my teeth and turned my broom towards the left to throw Martin off before lugging the Quaffle at the right hoop.
My mind was numbed to everything else as a sudden realization shot through me.
We needed one more goal.
With the image of that nasty Bludger colliding with James’s back and his hunched form as the driving force, I hurled the Quaffle straight through the center hoop, Martin missing it by inches, and slumped back on my broom as Tristan shouted those fateful words.
“Gryffindor in the lead 190-90!”
James was no longer flying straight, Fred was clutching the broom with his legs, and Allison only had one hand on the handle as we flew back into position to resume play.
I caught Callie’s eye and she nodded, eyes flickering across the pitch to the bottom of the Ravenclaw goal posts.
Madame Hooch’s whistle blew and she was off like a rocket.
I grabbed a hold of the Quaffle and flew off into the air to distract the Ravenclaw Beaters, who had shot both Bludgers at me before anyone had realized Callie was speeding towards the earth.
“Holy fuck! I think Mena’s seen the Snitch!” Tristan shouted over the screaming from the crowd.
I didn’t even take the effort to try for another goal, instead opting to watch Callie streak through the air.
“Delroy’s getting closer, Cal!” Tristan cried hysterically, “Come on!”
Callie seemed to hear him and she dove faster, ten feet from the ground before she pulled her broom straight up again.
“She was feinting!” Tristan exclaimed, “Bloody hell look at her go! And Delroy’s in the ground and – for the love of God! What is she doing?”
Callie, who’d shot straight up, pulled her broom back down and dove to the snitch, three feet to the right and one foot over Mason Delroy’s immobile form.
“She’s got it!”
The uproar was immense.
The Gryffindor stands had gone insane, chants of Callie’s name breaking out as she pulled her broom upright and held up the Snitch.
There was a stampede of Gryffindors thundering down towards the pitch as Tristan continued to shout incoherently into his microphone.
“That was the Goddess of Quidditch, ladies and gentlemen! Bloody hell that was insane! Where the hell did she learn to dive like that? And did anyone see her turn that broom? One second she’s going up, and the next she’s twenty feet down with the Snitch! Take that you good for nothing, sick Birds! Bloody, bastards! How does it feel to lose to a team that’s going to spend a week in the Hospital Wing? Did you see those lions play? I know I’m not the only one who saw all the blood and heard all the screaming; what now, you wonky, scumbag, git-faced, bastards! The Gryffindor team quite literally whopped your butts with one hand tied behind their backs! That’s our Gryffindors, folks! Nothing, and I repeat nothing, can stop those insane lions. No good for nothing, son of a bitch Bird is going to get in the way! That’s right, Chang!” he was hopping up and down now, holding the microphone up, “Your pathetic team just lost to a team they fucking mutilated! How does it feel, Claws, to fail so epically that you lost 340-90 after playing such an illegal match? The Gryffindor team can barely stand, Harper and Zar have blood on their faces, three players played single-handedly, and Zar is still bloody sick! Bloody hell woman, get something for that before you die!” he shouted down at me as I began coughing fiercely again. “We need you to massacre the bloody Slytherins next month! They’re nowhere near as pathetic at being illegal as these idiot Birds! I mean, did you lot see how pathetic –“
Chang seemed to have had enough and waved her wand to silence him before she started yelling furiously.
By this time, we were all gathered on the ground surrounded by our housemates.
Tristan had been right, though; we were barely standing, and Madame Pomfrey was shoving through the crowd to try and do something about it.
Callie, honestly, had already forgotten about the Snitch clasped in her fingers, and as she and I landed, we had to all but lift James up before he fell off his broom.
“I swear to God, Fred,” he gritted his teeth.
“Leave him alone,” I defended immediately, glancing around to the Beater as he dropped his bat.
“It should’ve been three foul shots,” Allison explained, wiping a few tears from her face as she looked up from her hand to James, “Bloody Turner smashed his arm to stop him before hitting that Bludger at you.”
Callie’s eyes widened as she looked up at Fred, and I gasped at the angle at which his arm was bent.
“I’m fine,” he assured, grimacing as he released his broom. “Fuck.”
“You won’t get your bloody party if you don’t let the nurse through!” Rose’s shrill voice cut through the whistle of the wind and the mass of Gryffindor bodies.
I glanced up in time to see the redhead and Scorpius, along with Albus leading the nurse through the crowd.
“Bloody hell,” Rose’s eyes widened as she took in the sight of Fred’s arm. “Pomfrey!”
“Allie,” he nodded the nurse towards her, stepping back as she broke through the crowd.
“It’s just my fingers; I’m fine I sw – “
“You’re the only one bloody crying, Allison,” Fred reminded.
“I am not!” she shouted back, swiping away another tear.
I sighed.
She hated tears, and honestly, she could tolerate high amounts of pain without physically hurting, but it didn’t take much for her tear reflexes to be triggered.
“Let her heal your fingers so we can get Fred’s arm straightened out,” Callie said to her exasperatedly.
Allison huffed, but held out her hand, wincing again as the nurse took her fingers in her hand. “There!” she turned to Fred triumphantly flexing her newly healed fingers once the nurse tapped them with her wand.
“Are her ribs broken?” James asked, and I remembered her limp.
“Potter,” her eyes narrowed around at him.
“For the love of God,” Albus exclaimed suddenly as I began coughing again, “Can we at least move this healing session inside.”
I sent him a glare, but I had to agree as I sneezed twice.
“The changing rooms,” I suggested, glancing around to James, “Can you move?”
He nodded, waving it off. “I just don’t want to break little Callie.”
“Here,” Scorpius and Albus shoved Callie and I away, supporting James through the crowd with the rest of us limping along after them to the changing rooms.
“Move, you bloody prats!” Rose screamed, charging ahead and parting the crowd.
When we reached the changing rooms, we were met by a few worried seventh years.
Stacey Hart had rushed in after James, but Emily Harris and Rachel Trainer were still hovering around, along with Lucas Mulkins, who was holding the door open.
“Bloody fantastic playing,” Rachel raved as we all trooped in and collapsed onto benches.
I sighed, smiling tiredly around at her as Madame Pomfrey began ordering off layers of sopping clothes and started inspecting James’s ribs.
“We got it,” I added to our Captain who was beginning to protest, motioning towards Callie.
We dug our wands out of our lockers, and Callie went off to straightening out Louis’s hands while I dealt with Allison’s ribs.
Austin, who was trying to ignore Rose’s ranting as she fixed his smashed ribs, glanced up at me and rolled his eyes. “You’ve still got blood on your face.”
“I got it,” Lucas turned to me before anybody could start protesting as I glanced up. He flicked his wand and set my nose right before siphoning the blood off my face.
“Thanks,” I smiled returning to Allison’s ribs, but I was cut off by another coughing fit.
“I’ll do it,” Emily hurried over, dropping Fred’s newly healed arm, and pulled my hand away. “I saw those hits you took. I think her ribs might be broken, too, Rachel,” she added, glancing over her shoulder to her friend, “She keeps clutching them when she coughs or sneezes.”
“Let me see,” Rachel pulled me aside and sat me down on a bench.
I glanced up as she went about with her X-Ray Charm, and noticed that Lucas was taking care of Callie’s smashed shoulder and Louis and Fred appeared to be okay now.
The latter two, along with a healed Austin, were instead grimacing as Rose went about shouting at them for being careless.
I sighed as I glanced back to Rachel; the rest of us were going to get that same lecture as well.
“I’ve got two weeks of detention!” Tristan burst into the room, bringing with him a gust of wind.
“I wonder why,” Emily glanced around at him, rolling her eyes.
“You go on too much, Tristan,” Stacey informed him, brushing blonde hair from her eyes and looking up from where she was sitting next to James as Madame Pomfrey examined his back.
He ignored her, turning to me instead. “Now, I know you’re going to get a earful from everyone, so let me just say that you were bloody fantastic! I doubt anyone else can fly like that when they’re perfectly healthy! That was insane! It’s saying something when you can –“
“Please, Tristan,” I held a hand up to stop him, “I have a massive headache as it is, so kindly shut up.”
“And stop with the inflictions,” Rachel added as she finished and straightened up, “Calm down.”
I went over to my locker as Madame Pomfrey left and the rest of the team began doing the same. I was planning on a long, hot shower. It would be steaming.
“So, the party,” Tristan went on, “How long do you lot think you’re going to take?”
Austin rolled his eyes, glancing over his shoulder. “With Rina, give us an hour or two.”
“Ara is not coming out to the party,” James spun on his heel and directed a sharp gaze on me.
I rolled my eyes, turning to face him. “I wasn’t planning on it, Potter. Though I could if I wanted.”
“You’re bloody lucky I talked Pomfrey out of making you go straight to the Hospital Wing!” he shot back, “Don’t make me call her back!”
My eyes narrowed. “I just said I wasn’t going to come to the damn party!”
“We can’t celebrate a Gryffindor victory without the star!” Tristan exclaimed.
“Don’t you try and change her mind,” James rounded on him instead, “The last thing I need is my best Chaser’s death on my head.”
“Wouldn’t be much of a loss.”
I jumped slightly and glanced around to find where the mumble had come from, only to find Fred, Emily, and Rachel sending glares towards Stacey.
I sighed and went off to the girls’ showers, announcing my exit with a sneeze.
When the hell had I made an enemy?
A/N: I love Tristan! Michael Turner on the other hand...sketchy.... But I'm really wondering how we're feeling about James at the moment. I hope I did that match justice! And reviews would be lovely ;)
Disclaimer: The stuff that you recognize isn't mine:(
Chapter 4: Leap
I sat up and groaned.
My fever had gotten much, much worse.
My head hurt and all the body aches had returned with full force. As I began to cough again violently, I clutched my stomach; yeah, sure coughing was a fantastic work out, but I was in enough pain as it is.
I sighed, turning to my bedside table for the box of tissues that was sitting there. I took one, blew my nose, and then dropped it into the already overflowing trashcan. After the Quidditch euphoria had worn off, I’d been feeling absolutely terrible.
I leaned my head back against the head board and ran my fingers through my hair, sniffling slightly again.
The game had ended somewhere around four in the afternoon, so after our showers, the girls had ushered me back up here and the boys had dropped by in the kitchens.
By the time I’d gotten into my oversized sweats and been tucked into bed, we had massive amounts of food sitting around the room, so we went ahead and devoured it. I’d been starved after that match.
With my hunger out of the way and after spending a good twenty minutes convincing Callie that I’d be fine by myself, I settled back in my bed, and, with the chaotic sounds of three teenage girls getting dressed for a party, I fell asleep.
Glancing back to the clock, I saw that it was 2:14 a.m. No doubt, the party was still going.
There was this fantastic open roof at the top of Gryffindor Tower, one of the few changes to the Castle after the Battle of Hogwarts, and that’s where we always had our parties. Apparently, they used to be done in the common room, but it was much too crowded and stuffy in there. Up on the roof, there was much more space and air, and even in the colder months it was fine because someone always knew a few good heating charms. I assumed a barrier had been set up against the rain as well, this time.
The girls weren’t back yet, which meant they were still in full swing up there; Rose always stayed until everything was over because, frankly, our friends are idiots.
I mean, Austin, Fred, and Tristan had always been idiots, but even Scorpius, Al, and Louis got pissed-out-of-their-minds drunk. And when they got drunk, it was just bad.
Allison was never much more sober than them, but at least the girl didn’t do anything stupid; she just got really loud and annoying and extra whorish.
So, of course, Rose and Callie worried plenty. Poor girls, along with the equally sober Emily and Rachel, spent all night keeping everyone else in check; they got to be in charge because they were older and sober.
Now, I was never a terrible drunk. I mean, sure, I found myself not caring all that much about what the rest might be up to, woke up with smashing headaches, and heard from people that I scowled less and had more fun, but at least I remembered (most) of what went on.
I groaned again and fell into another coughing fit. Just thinking about being drunk and the insane chaos of a party made my head hurt worse.
I figured it was time to get back to sleep, and, hopefully, I’d wake up feeling a bit better.
Maybe.
I sneezed three times in a row and grumbled again, reaching for more tissues.
Probably not.
As I slumped back under my covers, however, I frowned.
Sleep was evading me.
I closed my eyes, rubbing my temples, and wanted nothing more than to fall into the bliss of sweet dreams and relief from all the aching pain, but I couldn’t sleep.
For a full fifteen minutes, I lay there, snuggled up and longing for sleep, but a small voice in the back of my head (which was doing absolutely nothing for my headache) kept screaming at me to get up.
I coughed again and groaned.
I really didn’t want to get up.
But this voice kept shouting at me to get my arse out of bed and to go up to the roof.
After another ten minutes, that annoying voice got more urgent and I groaned again.
For the love of God.
I dragged myself out of bed, the voice insisting I move faster, and I blew my nose again before finding some fur-lined moccasins for my feet and making my way across the room.
I swear to God, this had better be important.
I stepped out into the hall and headed farther up the stairs.
There were two entrances to the roof, one from the girls’ dorms and one from the boys.
I shuddered as a chill ran through me, and, hugging myself tighter, I hoped the heating charm up there was strong. I had seen the lashing rain from my window, hearing it smash against the glass, and just thinking about the cold made me shiver again.
I reached the top of the staircase, and as soon as I pulled the door to the roof open, I groaned again audibly.
There was boisterous shouting and laughing all over the place and blasting music echoing over the entire roof.
My headache had increased tenfold in less than a second.
Rubbing my head again, I stepped onto the roof and found that it was actually much warmer up here than it had been on the drafty staircase.
I snorted as I looked around, however; no doubt, it had to be warmer, what with all the slaggish outfits on some of the girls around. It seemed people were forgetting that it was the middle of November.
I rolled my eyes as the door shut behind me, the noise hitting me again as my head began throbbing worse.
The roof was brightly lit and I wasn’t exactly sure were the thudding music was coming from. Gryffindor banners were strung around the entire place, floating in midair, and there were even blown up photographs of the match featuring some of Louis’s saves, Allison and James’s plays, my spiraling, Fred and Austin whacking Bludgers, and Callie’s capture of the Snitch. There were even large glittering numbers overhead announcing the final score of the match.
Definitely still in full swing.
I sighed, looking around more closely, and I suddenly began to frown.
There were chairs and tables all over the place, a large wooden dance floor, massive and still overflowing tables stacked with food, and even a makeshift bar, and yet it was all empty.
I noticed that everyone was actually gathered at the back of the tower, on a large raised balcony against the ledge.
I blinked.
They were all much too excited.
Oh dear God.
“Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump!”
No.
My hand dropped, and I completely forgot the pounding headache as I charged forward and shoved my way through the drunken crowd.
“For the love of God, get off that damn ledge you gits!”
I looked around for Rose and found her shrieking at the top of her lungs, being blatantly ignored.
I followed her gaze, and my heart just about stopped.
There they were, Albus, Louis, Scorpius, Austin, Fred, Tristan, and two fifth Years, Kyle Johnson and Tanner Reed, climbing onto the ledge at the end of the tower, 2,000 feet off the ground.
They were drunk as hell.
Leap of Faith.
I have mentioned on multiple occasions that Austin is an idiot. And that’s when he’s sober. There aren’t words for a drunk Austin.
How the hell are there supposed to be words to describe a guy that invented a game involving jumping off the tower?
That’s right.
None.
It was last year, after we beat Slytherin and got into the finals and everyone was pissed out of their minds, when the genius drunk Austin climbed up onto that ledge and announced (slurred) the rules of his new game: jump off the tower, summon your broom if you want to avoid death; first one to call his broom is eliminated.
Simple, really.
Even in my drunk, too-busy-having-fun-to-care state I’d just about lost my mind.
Rose had been screaming, Callie had been near tears, and Allison…well, drunk Allie was cheering them on.
Bint.
The game had gone on for ten rounds until Austin had been declared the winner.
There had been a repeat experience after we won the final as well, and during the End of the Year party and this year’s Halloween party.
Every one of those times, I’d sat there, clutching my wand and unable to watch.
I’d watched James instead.
Being James, the ever responsible mature person that he is, he’d had a similar grip on his wand as he stood over the ledge, ready to save anyone’s lives, should they need it.
I couldn’t watch my best friends jump off the tower, and had instead watched for his reaction.
Granted, he hadn’t had to save anyone yet, but I still got extremely terrified.
And nothing scared me. Absolutely nothing.
Except for my friends jumping to their deaths.
I blinked and looked around frantically for James, fists clenched around the sleeves of my oversized sweatshirt.
He was nowhere to be seen, however, and so, I looked more closely, carefully.
My eyes roved over my idiot friends again, and I froze.
I found James.
On the ledge.
James was on the ledge.
James-never-touched-alcohol-in-his-life-Potter was drunk as hell.
On the ledge.
I just about died of shock.
My eyes frantically sought out the girls again, and I found them at the front of the still chanting crowd, looking terrified.
Except for Allison, of course, who was egging them on.
Bloody bint.
Rose had gone white still screaming, and Callie was clutching her arm fearfully, eyes locked on the back of Austin’s stupid head.
I looked back to the drunk idiots on the ledge and then made myself move over to the girls.
“How many rounds have they played?” I asked, approaching them.
Rose jumped, her shouting stopping, as she spun around to face me. “What are you –“
“How many?” I demanded again. My being sick was the least of anyone’s worries at the moment.
“Josh Collins, Hugh and Connor have been eliminated,” she answered me, her worried eyes flickering over to her younger brother and Connor Duncan, both drunk at the other edge of the crowd with Lorcan and Lysander Scamander. The blond twins seemed to be admonishing their friends, though the drunk idiots seemed too busy cheering for the rest of the idiots to be paying attention.
My heart skipped a beat as I looked over at them.
They were bloody fourteen. Their mothers would have heart-attacks if they ever found out.
Lily Potter was also nearby, yelling at them and motioning wildly with her hands, though she was being blatantly ignored, just like the twins, and Jessica Clemens seemed to be trying to calm her.
I shook my head, turning back to the nine boys on the ledge as Lily suddenly slapped Hugo across the face and he fell over again.
I almost threw up at the sight of the boys standing there, drunk and rowdy, wobbling all over the place.
“Fucking Merlin, I hate this so bloody mu – Oh, God!” I nearly had a panic attack as the idiots jumped and Rose’s yelling cut off in favor of a horrified shriek.
My heart stopped, literally.
I couldn’t even breathe as I stared at the haphazardly strewn brooms in anticipation.
I’d done this math a million times in my head; they were 2,000 feet off the ground, which gave them barely sixteen seconds to call their brooms.
Fucking gravity.
It was six seconds before brooms started rushing over the edge of the tower, starting with the one labeled “Kyle Johnson,” which was followed quickly by Tanner’s and, another second later, Louis’s. Albus’s flew off another second after that, along with Scorpius’s, and two more seconds passed before Tristan’s, and then Fred’s, Austin’s, and James’s.
Bloody hell.
I turned my attention to stare at the ledge to watch the boys fly up, not releasing my breath until I saw James’s sopping head last up; Rose and Callie did the same next to me, and the redhead began screaming again.
I shook my head, looking the boys over as Kyle was eliminated; for a moment, I’d forgotten the rain, but the boys had clearly ventured out of the warm bubble over the tower.
Great. Add a broom blowing off course to the list of things to worry about.
I stared in the same dazed blur as they went through three more rounds, eliminating Tanner, and then Louis and Albus.
Finally, they were down to the finally five: Scorpius, Austin, Tristan, Fred and James.
Bloody fantastic.
The rule was that to “celebrate” making it the top five, they were supposed to take five shots.
I swear to God, Austin came up with this load of shit just to piss me off. He’s looking to get murdered.
Rose was screaming at Albus and Louis furiously, going into one of her mental episodes; even drunk, the two boys looked terrified.
Callie, for her part, still hadn’t said a word, just staring at the remaining five players as they threw back their shots to thunderous cheers.
Allison, of course, was joining in the cheers.
“Alrigh’, a’righ’!” Austin shouted over the crowd, “Le’s do this!”
I grimaced at his slur as the crowd roared again, and the five of them got back up onto the ledge.
Please, dear God, stop them.
“I’m fucking begging!” Rose’s frantic shouts reached my ears as the boys stumbled about on the ledge. They were so bloody hammered. “For the love of God just stop it and get down and go to sleep! You’re going to die and your mothers will kill themselves! Get down! Fuck!” she turned to us as the chants of “jump, jump, jump!” started up again, eyes shining with fury. “I have such a terrible feeling.”
I only nodded, no doubt paling as I watched the boys while the voice in my head returned and shouted at me to do something.
I was just staring at them, my knees about to give away as my heartbeat quickened and breathing grew shallow.
“Something bad is going to happen,” Callie whispered from next to me, speaking for the first time since I’d gotten out here.
The boys jumped, and my heart stopped.
One Mississippi…two Mississippi…three Mississippi…four Mississippi…five Mississippi…
Callie whimpered.
...six Mississippi…
One broom flew down.
…seven Mississippi…eight Mississippi…
Two more brooms.
…nine Mississippi…
Another one.
…ten Mississippi…
The voice screamed, and I leapt into action. Something isn’t right.
Before I knew it, I’d jumped off the balcony, swinging onto James’s broom as the fierce wind and lashing rain hit me like a thousand knives.
…eleven Mississippi…
I was rushing towards the earth, willing the broom to defy gravity and speed up.
…twelve Mississippi…thirteen Mississippi…
The broom swerved with the wind, and I cursed, yanking it back straight to the ground.
…fourteen Mississippi...
I urged the broom to speed up even faster, seeing the dark form of James Potter’s body still hurtling towards the earth.
Almost there…
…fifteen Mississippi…
I reached out a hand and grabbed James’s limp arm tightly, swinging him around onto the front of the broom, just as blood began to pour from the side of his face.
I cursed as his other arm whipped around and struck me in the eye, but shrieked as I found that the cold, wet earth was right in front of me. I watched a drop of shining crystal water slide down a blade of grass, migling with the red of James's blood, and then turned my head ever so slightly, only to catch sight of the dark, sharp and awkward branch, sticking inches into the air, just beyond the dark green blades of grass, with a red tint where James’s blood seeped down.
Less than a second later, I had the broom speeding back up to the top of the tower, struggling to keep both James and myself from slipping off the wet handle.
As soon as I surfaced over the ledge, entering the warm, protected bubble, my eyes met Rose’s wide, terror-filled ones. Next to her, Allison had gone just as pale as the horrified Weasley.
But neither was anything compared to Callie. As soon as the broom hovered into view, she burst into tears, gripping Rose’s arm tightly.
My heart clenched, and I brought the broom down onto the now silent tower, releasing James’s arm and allowing his unconscious form to slip to the ground.
He was out cold.
A chill ran through me as I dropped the broom, the sound of it clattering to the ground echoing over the tower as I watched the blood from the gash seep over the stone floor of the tower.
And then, there was a shriek.
Little Lily Potter rushed forward, and collapsed next to James, grabbing his limp arm. “Fucking God, James are you dead?”
That one word seemed to get a reaction, and suddenly the entire tower was in an uproar.
More bodies rushed around James to assess him, everyone screaming and shouting all at once.
And I stood, watching.
For the love of God.
Through the blur, I heard somebody shout that he was still alive and the cries of relief that followed the pronouncement, but I still couldn’t think as the source of the blood was identified and wands were directed towards his face.
I must’ve lost twenty years to my life in those sixteen seconds.
I collapsed into a nearby chair and sneezed, dropping my head into my hands.
I am going to kill him.
~*~
When I awoke again, the sun was streaming in through the windows, and I blinked a few times before turning my head again to see the time. 10:45.
I sneezed, and then started coughing again as I sat up.
I was still sick as hell.
Fantastic.
“Rina?”
There was a shuffle and I looked around to see Callie jumping off her bed and rushing over to mine.
“How are you feeling?”
I looked at her, however, and just shook my head. “I’m fine,” I assured her, straightening up and looking into her blood shot eyes. “Did you sleep?”
She only shook her head, red eyes beginning to tear. “I couldn’t. I…I kept dreaming that…that you didn’t come out and…”
I closed my eyes, shaking my head again. What a terrifying thought.
“Allie’s still out cold?”
Callie nodded as I opened my eyes again. “She drank plenty; she probably won’t remember.”
“Rose?” I glanced around to find her bed untouched.
“She stayed with the boys to keep an eye on them,” she told me, “And Lucas didn’t drink much so James, Fred and Tristan should be fine.”
I nodded, looking back to her.
Her eyes were curious and still shining fearfully as she looked back at me. “Did…did he hit the ground?”
I blinked at her.
She was more out of her mind than I thought.
“Would he be alive if he’d hit the ground?”
Callie sighed, nodding slightly. “I’ve just been thinking about what could’ve happened. I mean, I was counting and it was exactly twelve seconds before you got back: six down, six up. Ten before you jumped; ten plus six is sixteen. Sixteen seconds until he hits the ground.”
I shuddered again as she looked back up. “Fifteen before I got him though,” I added.
“Oh, God,” she closed her eyes, dropping her head into her hands. “I don’t even know why he got so drunk in the first place. He was already far gone by the time we got there, and Lucas said he had no idea what had gotten into him.”
I shrugged, watching her until she looked back up. “Why are boys so stupid?”
I shrugged again. Beats me.
“He passed out while he was falling then, didn’t he?” she asked.
I nodded. “Probably.”
“God,” she shook her head again, “I knew something bad was going to happen. If you hadn’t come up…”
I looked back to the clock again, vaguely remembering the annoyance at not being able to fall asleep the night before and that little voice.
“I had a feeling too.”
Callie looked at me for a moment more, but then she frowned, hopping off my bed and hurrying back to hers.
She returned with her wand and pointed it to my face, flicking it once.
“You had a black eye,” she explained to my confusion.
I nodded, touching the eye and remembering James’s fist striking it. “I suppose I wasn’t all that careful when I yanked him up.”
Callie nodded, sitting down as her eyes trained on mine again. “The – the blood?”
I fought the urge to be sick as I remembered it.
“A branch on the ground.”
“He got that close?” Callie’s eyes widened, voice coming out in a terrified whisper.
I remembered the blade of grass with its drop of shining crystal water and nodded.
“Fucking God!” Allison’s voice cut through the room, echoing the words no doubt running through Callie’s mind. “Rina! Give me that damn potion!”
I jumped slightly, looking around at her as she sat up, clutching her head.
“I got it,” Callie jumped up, snapping from her horrified stupor in an instant. “Where did you put them?” she looked back to me.
“There’s a box in the cabinet in the bathroom,” I told her.
There was this Hangover Potion I’d been messing with for a few years, and I’d perfected it only last year. It worked instantaneously and tasted minty, rather than the nasty bitter taste of some of the stuff they sold.
I was rather good at potions, so it was convenient, and I brewed a batch every time I knew there would be a party ahead of time.
Now, it may seem a bit selfless to spend my free time brewing a potion that took a full two weeks for my idiot friends, but really, it was for me, because I was the one who would’ve had to deal with their hungover states otherwise.
I only made a limited supply, with exactly two extra vials since each batch gave me ten vials. Someone always managed to come find me to buy those two off me, however, for ten galleons each, and that was enough to pay for the ingredients, so it all worked out.
“Here,” Callie handed Allison a vial.
“Thank you,” she threw it all down and sighed in relief. “I love you.”
“Of course you do,” I grumbled as Callie set the box of potions in front of me. There were still nine vials left, and I actually had three extras because I hadn’t been at the party.
“Well,” I sighed, clambering off the bed and slipping on the moccasins, “I better go get these dished out.”
“I can go if –“
“Never mind,” I shook my head, cutting Callie off, “Just calm yourself a bit, yeah? Everything’s alright now.”
She nodded slightly, standing as well. “Most people were drunk and won’t remember, but Molly and Roxanne stood by all the doors threatening people to keep their mouths shut. They don’t think it’ll go over well with James.”
“What happened?” Allison frowned at us.
I looked up at her. “She can know though, right?”
Callie nodded, moving to sit with her. “Might as well. It was a big breakthrough for her, you know, actually considering the levels of danger involved with the game; we should remind her of it.”
I sighed, picking up the box. “I suppose Rose and I are telling the guys then.”
“But not James,” Callie added.
I nodded. “Right.”
I stepped out of the room, sneezing again, heading for the guys’ dorm instead.
I was halfway across the common room, however, when I was ambushed.
“Holy fuck,” I groaned, shifting the box and closing my eyes. The pounding in my head was starting up again.
“I got here first!”
“I have the money! Just give me –“
“You’re not even that hungover! My –“
“But she told me last time –“
“Here’s the money, Zar, just –“
“Shut up!” I snapped.
The crowd of hungover people shut their mouths. “I’m not giving any of these to any of you because, quite frankly, I don’t want to,” I snapped.
“Oh, but come on, please just –“
“Shut up,” I glared at Teresa Reynolds, a particularly annoying seventh year. “I have no extras; they’re already gone.”
“But –“
“None!”
“You have a whole box full!” Tanner Reed argued.
“And you said the rule was first come first serve,” Marcus Carrington added.
I glowered at him in annoyance. He was a seventh year, and I didn’t like him much either. He’d always been rude and obnoxious, and he still had issues with me because I refused to shag him in a broom closet.
“Only when I have extras,” I reminded, “There’s none for sale today.”
“You’re just giving those away?” Harrison Bay’s eyes widened. He was another annoying seventh year.
“Yes,” I snapped, shoving through the crowd, “For people that I actually like. Now, go away.”
There was annoyed mumbling behind me as I stepped onto the boys’ staircase and headed up.
Fucking annoying drunk bastards.
I barely talked to any of them, and they all still felt the need to harass me.
There were very few people that I actually liked in our school, and in Gryffindor House, those people were limited to people I was stuck with, which included my friends, the Weasleys, and their friends. In other words, the people I’d been forced to develop an immunity to. Seriously, they were everywhere, considering the Weasley tendency to adopt anyone who was insane enough to associate with them.
Hogwarts’s population had grown over the past twenty or so years, so there were a lot more annoying people waltzing about. In fact, the population size had almost doubled, meaning that there were actually four dorm’s worth of kids per House per Year, versus two.
I reached the fourth floor landing, where there were two doors on either side of me, both labeled “Fourth Years.”
I checked the names under the plaque on the door on the right, though I was already pretty sure it was Hugo’s room.
Once I’d made sure, I knocked, and, hearing a mumbled “Come in,” entered.
“Hello,” Lorcan looked around at me.
“You look terrible,” Lysander added.
“Thanks,” I rolled my eyes at the pair. They had always been brutally honest, which I supposed was a good thing. They never meant anything in a rude manner, at least, just as a fact.
“Where are they?” I questioned, referring to last night’s two drunk fourth years.
“Hold on,” Lysander set his copy of The Quibbler down and got off his bed.
With Lorcan, he approached the two beds on the other side of the room, and, together, they both shouted, “Wake up!”
I heard a bang and a shout, followed by a lot of cursing, and I smiled along with the satisfied twins as Hugo and Connor fell out of their beds.
“What the fuck was that?” Hugo demanded.
Lorcan simply shrugged. “Maybe you’ll think twice before going and getting drunk.”
“You are right gits,” he glared at them.
Lysander only shrugged. “You’re just lucky you’ve got connections.” He motioned to me when the two boys frowned in confusion before returning to his magazine.
“Rina!” Hugo’s eyes widened, eyeing my box. “Are those –“
“Yes,” I rolled my eyes, handing over two vials, “I suppose I’m going to have to brew some more if I still want to be able to make enough money to pay for the ingredients.”
“We don’t have to pay, do we?” Hugo asked.
“That wasn’t rude at all,” Lorcan called from across the room where he was going through a pile of single socks in an attempt to match them up.
“No, you don’t,” I rolled my eyes again.
“This is excellent,” Connor grinned, setting down his empty vial, “I don’t feel annoyed or nauseous or anything!”
“I’m going to be rich, once I go get these patented,” I agreed. “I just fixed the problem with the hyperactivity and everything. It should be just right.”
“It’s fantastic,” Hugo assured, grinning as well, “I can’t think of any negatives of getting drunk when I have this stuff.”
“Except, you know, dying,” Lorcan added.
“What?” Connor frowned.
“James almost died last night,” Lysander explained not looking up from his magazine.
“What?” Hugo’s eyes widened in shock.
“Molly said to keep it quiet,” I reminded the twins as they abandoned their reading and socks, “So don’t tell people. Only us important people and the sober people get the details.”
“I offered to run a Memory Charm over everyone else, but Molly seemed to think it was unnecessary,” Lorcan spoke up.
“No, Roxanne’s threats are enough, I’m sure,” I agreed.
“What happened?” Hugo demanded.
“Oh, good, you’re up.”
I whirled around to find Lily, Jessica, and their dorm mate Amanda Casper in the doorway.
“You had extra potions?” Lily turned to me.
“Just the two,” I nodded.
“Lucky bastards,” Lily sent Hugo and Connor glares.
“What happened to James?” Hugo cried again.
Lily’s eyes narrowed as she and the other two girls entered to room.
“I’ll see you later then,” I waved briefly, leaving and shutting the door behind me, just as Lily began to yell.
I shook my head as I began up the stairs. Gits were totally screwed.
“Rina!”
I looked over my shoulder to find Molly and Roxanne hurrying up the stairs, along with Cynthia Daniels and Madison Lake.
“You don’t have any extra potions, do you?” Molly asked.
“Afraid not,” I shook my head, “I just gave them to Hugo and Connor.”
“Good,” she nodded coming to a stop next to me on the next landing, “These idiots are going to learn the hard way.”
She burst through the door on the left, screaming in an extremely Weasley fashion. I heard loud protests coming from the room as Cynthia shook her head, following the rest of the girls in.
Kyle Johnson, along with Aaron Casey and Mathew Florence, were a lot like Austin: absolute idiots; Molly had Stupefied them to keep them from joining the game last night.
“Well, I’m going to go get some breakfast…” Jake Mulkins stepped out of the room.
I smiled around at him as he shut the door. He, at least, was a levelheaded kid, what with Lucas as an older brother.
“Might want to stop by in the Kitchens instead,” I suggested, “For their sake.”
“I suppose so,” he agreed, disappearing down the stairs.
I rolled my eyes as I headed up again, shifting the box.
I figured I’d take the potions up to Fred, Tristan and James first, and then see how the boys were doing, so I skipped the sixth landing and headed up to the seventh.
Upon entering the room, I found that the three boys were still out cold, and it seemed Lucas was in the shower.
I sighed, pulling three vials out of the box and setting one on each of the boys’ bedside tables.
As I set James’s down, I glanced over at him, frowning. He was lucky I didn’t need this potion, because I was pissed at him and would’ve given the extras to Hugo and Josh rather than him.
I looked him over again and rolled my eyes. What an idiot.
It didn’t even make any sense because James never drank, like, ever.
And Molly was right; James would have a freak attack if he found out that he’d played Leap of Faith, forgetting that he’d almost died, and not even thinking about me being the one to yank him back. He’d hate to owe me anything.
He turned in his sleep, probably sensing my disdain, but as he did so, he revealed the ridged scar running down the length of his face.
My eyes seemed to freeze on it; he’d been insanely close to the ground.
And whoever tried to heal his face messed it up.
That could’ve been healed without scarring; it was just a branch, but now it looked bad. It seemed unlikely that anyone would be able to get rid of that scar.
There’s no hiding that, then.
I jumped as the door to the room suddenly burst open, and I spun around to find Stacey Hart standing there, appearing terribly hungover.
“What are you doing here?” she questioned, eyes narrowing upon spotting me.
“Bring hangover potions to the idiots,” I answered, rolling my eyes.
Her eyes flickered over to the box on the ground by the door, but I only rolled my eyes once again. “I already gave James my last one.”
“There’re four more in here,” she looked up.
“I still have one more stop to make,” I explained, stepping towards the box.
Her eyes narrowed in annoyance again. “Way to play favorites.”
I rolled my eyes. “I make these for my friends in the first place. I only sell the two because their extras.”
“You’re handing these out for free?” her eyes widened again.
“To my friends,” I repeated, gesturing around to Fred and Tristan’s immobile forms.
She glared at me again, so I responded by rolling my eyes again.
Slag.
“You can leave now,” she spoke up after a moment’s silence.
“Why?” I raised an eyebrow.
“You have no more business here,” she replied simply.
I raised the other eyebrow. “And you would know, how?”
“Oh just get out!” she snapped, “I don’t have time for this! I need to make sure James is –“
“He’s alive,” I cut her off, eyes narrowing.
This is what really got me peeved.
I rarely even admitted caring about James, and this girl always gushed all over him, and yet, she was busy egging him on to jump while I fucking saved his life.
Hypocrisy if ever.
“I was there, remember,” I went on, “I think I added another week to my fever and took ten years off my life, but I was there to save his.”
“You took his broom!” she cried, “How was he supposed to summon it if you took it?”
My eyes narrowed further.
“He didn’t summon it. He passed out halfway to the ground.”
“Bullocks!” she cried, throwing her hands up in the air.
“Why would I take his broom and fly off after him?” I questioned.
“I don’t know,” she shot back, “Why did you?”
“Because he passed out,” I reminded, “He was about to die.”
“Because of you!” she shouted again, “It’s not like you could see if he was conscious or not!”
This was a valid point.
I’d give her that.
But I had the feeling. There had to be some reason I had gone up there and Rose had been worrying more than usual and Callie said something bad was going to happen.
“I knew.”
“How?” Stacey crossed her arms. “How could you possibly know?”
I shrugged.
This was also a valid point.
Her eyes narrowed again. “Get out. You always say you hate him, you almost got him killed and now you’re here acting like you care? Just leave!”
“What is with the shouting?” the bathroom door burst open to reveal Lucas and his towel.
“Zar felt the need to come up here and harass James,” Stacey answered him.
I rolled my eyes. Seriously?
“I heard you shouting, Stacey,” Lucas informed her, “I didn’t even realize Rina was here.”
“But –“
“So please, keep it down or leave, before you wake them,” he went on gesturing to the sleeping boys.
I did actually have to snort at that.
These boys were sleeping like the dead; nothing was going to wake them.
“I just wanted to check on James,” Stacey stated to Lucas, crossing her arms.
“So fine, check on him,” Lucas stepped out of the bathroom, “Just do so quietly.”
“I just brought up the potions,” I added to him, turning to leave, “And I had my extra for James, too.”
“Hold on.”
I glanced back over my shoulder.
“You doing okay?” His brow was furrowed in concern as he looked me over.
I smiled slightly and nodded. “Molly found you, right?”
He nodded. “Though I personally think it’s the best form of punishment for him.”
I shrugged. “I think I agree; I’d tell him that he at least played. He’d probably hear it somewhere anyways. But the near death experience might be too much for him.”
“Especially the part where you were involved,” Lucas added, beginning to smile.
I shrugged again, picking up my box. “That would get him riled up.”
“Yes, just don’t mention to him that she tried to kill him,” Stacey agreed from next to James’s bed.
I sent her a glower.
Bitch.
“Better go get these to the boys,” I sent Lucas a fleeting look before he could open his mouth and left the room.
I suppose this means she really does dislike me.
I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.
I honestly don’t even know how I managed to get her to dislike me. I mean, sure I never liked her, but I never said anything to her either.
Oh well.
I didn’t find myself caring all that much anyways.
I stepped onto the sixth floor landing and shifted my box again before pushing open the door on my left.
The room was dead silent, save the breathing of five sleeping teenagers.
Despite being a generally cranky person, I couldn’t help but smile as I set the box down and glanced up to see Rose sleeping, tucked away under Scorpius’s strong arm.
They were just so damn cute.
They’d been dating for a whole year-and-a-half and I swear, I’d never met too people so damn perfect for each other; they were literally two halves of a whole, the perfect opposites, like little jigsaw pieces and all that shit.
Rose was about as sweet and pleasant as I was, while Scorpius was the calmest person I knew. Rose went straight to shouting all the time; the more she shouted at someone, the more she loved him. Scorpius, on the other hand, only ever lost his temper with people that he loathed enough to get angry with, while he dealt with the rest of us with insane amounts of patience, enough to rival Albus.
I refuse to admit this to anyone, but I loved them. They were just so fucking fantastic together.
No, I’m not a closet romantic, I swear.
Rose seemed to feel my eyes on her in her sleep, because she blinked a few times and opened her eyes.
She smiled for a moment, glancing around at her blond boyfriend, but upon turning and catching sight of me, she immediately scowled.
“Comfy?” I smirked.
She scowled some more, attempting to sit up. “I’m stuck.”
“Appears so,” I nodded.
She frowned slightly, looking me over. “You’re still terribly sick.”
I remembered this with a loud sneeze.
Fuck my life.
“What are you doing here?”
“Potions,” I motioned to the box. “They sleep alright?”
“Yeah,” Rose nodded, “Took a bit of shouting but I got them into bed at least, and they’ve been out cold since.”
“Good,” I nodded, moving to sit cross-legged at the end of Albus’s bed, facing her.
Rose was still looking at me, her expression dropping back into worry. “Did you go up to the –“
“Yes,” I cut her off, nodding, “They were still asleep. Though they’ll probably be up soon.”
Rose began to frown as I scowled. “What?”
“Well, Stacey Hart decided to come up and yell at me for ‘harassing’ James,” I made a face. “Loudly enough to wake them eventually.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You were harassing him?”
“I put his potion on the table next to him when she burst in and got angry!” I exclaimed, suddenly feeling angry about the whole situation myself. People like her were the types of people that really got to me. “If Lucas hadn’t come out of the shower and shut her up, her screaming would’ve woken them all up! And, apparently, it’s my fault that James almost died!”
“James almost died?” Scorpius blinked a few times before his eyes focused in on me.
“Yes,” Rose snapped becoming angry again as she pulled at his arm.
He ignored her, however, tightening his grip on her as he frowned at me. “What happened?”
“Leap of Faith happened,” I grumbled.
“James?”
“Yes,” I glowered, “Damn git. I should’ve stayed in bed last night.”
Rose stopped struggling immediately, focusing her gaze on me. “Rina.”
“What?”
“He’d be dead right now if you hadn’t come up.”
I blinked.
That just didn’t seem plausible.
“Surely someone else –“
“You jumped at the last second!” she cried.
“You jumped?” Scorpius’s eyes widened.
“Callie kept saying she had a bad feeling and I thought something wasn’t right, but I didn’t think –“ Rose broke off, shaking her head. “I just thought Michael might still show up and start a fight with crazy drunk James or something!”
“Turner?” I frowned.
“That’s what Claire was telling him apparently,” she nodded, “He and Lawson and Flynn and Delroy have started some new slimy tradition or something; see who can shag a girl from the opposing team first after a match.”
I almost threw up.
Rose made a face as she pushed hair out of her eyes. “Louis says Turner mentioned you and Allison before the match and James was furious.”
I did throw up a little in my mouth at that.
I supposed that’s what I missed while I was sneezing then.
“Will someone please explain!” Scorpius shouted in annoyance.
“If you let me go,” Rose sent him an annoyed glare.
“James passed out halfway through hurtling towards the earth,” I told him simply.
He blinked.
“And he’s alive?”
“Lucky bastard,” Rose’s eyes narrowed as she took the opportunity to break out of Scorpius’s grip and sat up. “Rina managed to somehow know and jumped off after him and saved his worthless-piece-of-shit life.”
He turned back to me.
“With the broom,” I rolled my eyes, “Or else I’d be dead as well.”
Scorpius shut his eyes and shook his head. “I think I’m about to pass out.”
Rose snorted. “Alright.”
“I nearly did,” I agreed.
“For the love of God, has Rina been up here yet?” Austin’s groan echoed throughout the room.
“Yes,” I answered rolling my eyes.
“Where’d she put that Goddamn potion?” he grumbled, sitting up and clutching his head.
“She left it by the door,” I told him, glancing over my shoulder with an amused smile.
“Toss one here,” Scorpius added as Austin dragged himself out of bed and began stumbling towards the box.
“Why couldn’t she bring this into the damn room at least?” he went on grumbling, ignoring him.
“He’s an idiot,” Rose rolled her eyes.
“Because she hates you, obviously,” I reminded him.
“I’d like to give her a piece of my mind. Bloody bitch, making hungover people get out of bed for their potions,” he fished one out of the box and straightened up. “Where is she?”
“Over here, dumbshit,” I threw one of my shoes at the back of his head.
“Oi!” he spun around furiously as the shoe hit him.
That’s right, you bloody git.
“I’ll start making you pay for those, you know,” I went on, “What with the six more hungover idiots hanging around, I need to start making more as it is.”
“Sucks when baby brothers grow up,” Rose sighed, climbing out of bed.
“But on the other hand,” I smirked slightly, turning to her as she went and grabbed the rest of the potions, “if he ever gets on your nerves, just threaten to tell your mum.”
“That’s what I should do to James next time he starts acting like an arse,” she agreed handing a vial to Scorpius before setting the other two on Albus and Louis’s tables.
“James doesn’t get drunk I thought,” Austin frowned, shuffling back to his bed and no longer hungover.
“You thought wrong,” I glared.
“What –“
“I’m not telling this story three more times,” Rose cut him off, yanking back Louis’ covers. “Get up!” she shouted.
“Holy –“
He sat up, rubbing his head and looking around. “What the hell was that?” he glared at Rose, making me smile slightly as I remembered Hugo downstairs. It’s the little things that remind me the Weasleys are related.
“We have to tell you about how your idiot cousin almost died,” Rose snapped at him, moving around to Albus’s bed.
“Here,” I stopped her, pulling off my other shoe and throwing it across the bed at the sleeping Potter at the other end.
“Who died?” Louis’s eyes widened.
“James almost died,” I corrected him, promptly cutting off Albus’s protests.
“What?”
“Yeah, your idiot brother is an idiot,” I told him, glaring again.
“My head hurts,” Albus groaned closing his eyes and dropping his head back against the headboard. “Ow.”
“Way to go, idiot,” I rolled my eyes and reached across the bed for the potion, which I then handed to him.
“Will someone please explain?” Louis begged, setting his own empty vial down and moving to the end of his bed.
“Drunk James decided to be an idiot with you lot and jump off the tower, passed out halfway down, and should be in a thousand pieces at the foot of the castle,” Rose recounted, sitting back down next to Scorpius.
“And we’re not panicking about my brother’s near death because…?” Albus prompted.
“Because we did plenty of that when we thought that he was dead last night,” she answered simply.
“How is it that he’s still alive if –“
“Rina’s a fucking seer is how,” she cut Austin off.
“It was just a feeling,” I corrected, “Like you and Cal.”
“Whatever,” Rose waved it off, “In any case, she leapt after him, with his broom,” she added before anybody could question the detail again, “and saved his bloody arse.”
“Bloody hell,” Louis sat wide-eyed, “He’s going to throw a fit.”
“Which is why we’re not telling him,” Rose rounded on him. “The last thing we need is for him to know that Rina’s still bloody sick because she went out into that damn rain again to risk her life for his worthless one.”
“Well, I was already going to be sick all –“
“Forget it,” she snapped, jumping up suddenly. “I need a shower.” She put on her shoes and grabbed her wand from next to Scorpius’s and headed for the door. “You should get back into bed,” she whipped around to add to me before leaving.
“What the fuck is this?” Scorpius frowned after her, “I didn’t even get a bloody kiss.”
A/N: I would like to introduce you all to suspension of disbelief, which means that I understand that I've messed with the laws of physics and time, but let's pretend I didn, okay? I know that it bugs me a bit when things in stories don't make plausible sense, but I don't think this is too bad. So, reviews??? The twins were tons of fun:P It was also necessary to offcially meet fellow Weasleys, so I'd like to think I did them justice. Any progress on Rina's character? I like to keep up with how you're all feeling about her. And James, though there isn't currently much to go on. And we like Allison and Callie, right, because I'm going to start writing their story soon, which is going to be the fluffy relief from the drama this chapter has begun. I'd love to hear what's on your minds!
Oh, and the idea of Leap of Faith came from a friend telling me about a party she went to at school. Actually, when she gave me the idea months ago, I was fianlly able to peice together Rina's story after spending a good amount of time at a complete loss for plot and direction.
And, wow, I had a lot to say. Sorry!
Chapter 5: Idiot “Friends” and Ara’s Improving Mood
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Disclaimer: What you recognize isn't mine
Chapter 5: Idiot “Friends” and Ara’s Improving Mood
Once I had the guys properly awake and assured them that idiot James was okay, they decided to get dressed for breakfast, though it was almost noon.
I had suggested meeting them in the Great Hall, but this didn’t go over so well; they literally ordered me back to bed.
Probably because I finished off the suggestion with a coughing fit.
Rolling my eyes, I (unwillingly) left them to their showering, shutting the door behind me.
I made my way down the stairs to the common room (coughing all the way), and took a moment to groan and lean against the wall.
The worst part about being sick was that when I woke up in the morning, I was fine for about an hour, and then all the symptoms returned worse than ever. It was a nightmare.
I sneezed twice and groaned again, closing my eyes and touching my tender nose; I’d rubbed the poor thing raw last night, and it wasn’t going to catch a break today.
Damn, I hate my life.
“Ara!”
I groaned.
I did not want to talk to people.
“Go away,” I didn’t bother to turn.
I don’t care who it is, I don’t want to talk to him.
“Ara.” The voice was closer, and I groaned as I realized who it was.
Only one person had fallen into the stupid habit of calling me that and had failed to return, despite numerous threats.
“What, Potter?” I sighed, not bothering to open my eyes.
I wanted to talk to him least of all because, frankly, I was pissed at him.
Yeah, that’s right, pissed; with the inflection.
Maybe if I was rude enough, he’d go away.
“You look horrible.”
My eyes snapped open and narrowed into slits.
Damn straight I look horrible! Shame, really, because no one would’ve noticed if he looked as horribly dead as he should, and would’ve if it weren’t for me!
Fucking prick.
“Alright, calm down!” he laughed, standing in front of me.
My eyes narrowed further.
“Someone didn’t get enough sleep last night,” he rolled his eyes, “Despite going to bed before 6:00.”
“I was up at 2:30 last night,” I glowered.
James raised an eyebrow. “So was I.”
“Well, I’m sorry if I didn’t sleep well,” I snapped, “You know, after watching half your idiot friends jump off the bloody tower, you tend to have nightmares about it afterwards!”
James frowned. “You were at the party?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“When you were bloody jumping off the Goddamn tower!” I shrieked, hurting my own head even worse.
James’s eyes widened at that. “I did what?”
I raised an eyebrow. “What, Lucas didn’t get around to filling you in? Well, you jumped off the Goddamn tower!”
“Thanks for that, Love,” Lucas descended the staircase behind a shell-shocked James. “I was going to wait until after he got some food in him.”
I rolled my eyes. “Because it’s not quite as bad then, is it?”
“What’s with you?” Fred frowned around at James, coming down with Tristan.
“I hate you too!” I glared at the pair before spinning around on my heel.
I grumbled to myself as I held my poor head, shrieking in rage again as I heard Fred’s next words:
“Leap of Faith, then? How’d I do?”
Bloody idiots.
I swear to God, I’m not going to forgive them by the end of the day this time.
I’m not.
I mean it.
Really.
I stomped off up the stairs to my room and slammed the door shut behind myself.
“Fuck!” I screamed, clutching my hammering head as the slam spiked the aching.
“Gosh dammit,” I glared furiously into the mirror at myself as my shrieking wasn’t helping matters at all.
Fuck my life.
“Please, Rina,” Callie looked up at me worriedly, “get into bed. You look so horribly sick; I don’t want you up again until I say so.”
I sent my glare at her instead.
I hate being sick. And I used to never get sick either.
And then I joined James’s team.
And bam! My immune system took a hit.
Probably because he had germs. Annoying germs that is.
Though, more likely because he had me out in the rain every Goddamn night.
Dickhead.
“Rina,” Callie sent me her authoritative look; it was the one she used when she tried to act like my mother.
I was about to completely defy her, but then I began violently coughing again.
I grabbed my bed post, bent-double with a hand clutching my stomach as I continued to cough, dropping to my knees.
Well shit.
“Rina!” Callie flew across the room and dropped down next to me.
“Fine,” I attempted to assure her hoarsely before falling into fits of coughing again.
This was just the way I did it. When I got sick, I got really sick. It was absolutely terrible. Like being to hell and back; and then returning.
“Come here,” Callie got me up as I finally stopped coughing, pulling me back to bed. “I don’t want you leaving again, Rina,” she said as she tucked me into the covers.
“I’m fine,” I repeated, noticing the concern clouding her eyes as she looked me over. “This happens plenty.”
She frowned, glancing down at my flooded trashcan. “That’s what worries me.”
I rolled my eyes, pushing my hair back. “It’s because James has me in the rain all the time. I’m already easily cold in the first place. And the stress he adds to my life doesn’t help matters at all.”
She nodded, looking back up at me. “I swear that’s done. I hate seeing you like this.”
I sneezed and smiled slightly. “I hate being like this.”
“No doubt,” she returned the smile.
I nodded. “I mean, first of all, I look like hell.”
Callie rolled her eyes. “That’s your concern.”
“I mean, I’m covered in cold seat, my face is blotchy and red, my nose is like a fucking cherry, my eyes are terribly bloodshot, I’ve got massive bags under them, my lips are chapped from breathing through my mouth since my nose has become dysfunctional, and, just to be the whipped cream on top, my hair’s screwed up just for the hell of it,” I listed, shuddering as a chill ran through me. “I swear, this is my terrible karma for screaming at James all week. I mean, my voice is practically gone from the screaming along with the nasally from my Goddamn nose.”
Callie only shook her head, flicking her wand at my trashcan and emptying it.
I sneezed twice more and she frowned again.
“I feel like you need to go to the Hospital Wing.”
“No!” I cried, halfway through blowing my noise obnoxiously. “I hate the Hospital Wing.”
She sighed, watching me drop the tissue into the trashcan and reach for another one. “I don’t want to move you all the way down there, but I don’t like you being up here all alone, either.”
“I’ll be fine,” I insisted, sitting back in the bed.
I began coughing again however, body heaving as I clutched the blankets.
“Fine,” I repeated once I’d reemerged as she looked down at me with more concern.
“You’ve never been this bad before.”
I shrugged, sitting back again. “I usually spend a night running in the rain, wake up sick, and then you make me stay in bed. This time, I woke up sick and had to play that match.”
Callie sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “I wish you hadn’t played; it wasn’t worth it.”
“Are you kidding me?” my eyes widened. “Of course it was worth it! We won! We’re leading in the standings!”
Callie sighed again. “Only because we had to do it for you and James; we couldn’t let you play for nothing at all.”
I smiled again. “Feeling the love.”
“And not sarcastically either,” she nodded, smiling with me again.
“But seriously,” I insisted. “Just leave me be; I’ll be fine. Just give me a book or something.”
Callie was frowning again, however. “Allison disappeared to hook up with some Hufflepuff, and I have to tutor some second years in Charms in a couple hours. And Rose has to get Austin through his Arithmancy essay. I don’t know how long you’ll be alone.”
I rolled my eyes. “Again with the I’m f –“
“But what if you need something?” Callie started again, becoming more anxious with each word, “I’ll be busy until after dinner and Austin’s hard work and you never know when Allie might resurface. What if –“
“Callie,” I cut her off again.
“I’m moving you,” she decided, completely ignoring me.
“But I don’t want to go to the Hospital –“
“No, that’s too far,” she agreed, “I’m moving you to the boys’ dorm. Scorpius, Al, and Louis can keep an eye on you, and this way, Rose can be with you while helping Austin as well.”
I sighed dramatically rolling my eyes. Callie got too worked up too easily. She was going to be an excellent pediatric Healer. Pediatric meaning children’s, however; I am no longer a child.
(There’s a difference between acting like a child and actually being a child.)
“It’ll work,” she nodded, talking to herself now as she began bustling around the room.
“What are you doing?” I questioned conceding to her decision. She was still worked up over Leap of Faith and James, so I supposed I shouldn’t be too difficult on her.
“Looking for whatever you may need,” she answered, grabbing books and parchment and quills and ink.
“I’m not doing any homework,” I told her.
She frowned, glancing around at me.
“And the guys have that stuff anyways,” I added.
She sighed, but dropped what she had, and instead headed for the closet.
“They have warm clothes as well.”
“Alright, fine,” she went into the bathroom and returned with a box of tissues and picked up the book I’d been working on off my bedside table.
“Let’s go,” she turned to me.
I shivered again as I climbed out of the blankets, only just then realizing how warm it was in there, and joined her at the door, deciding against shoes. My green and purple dinosaur socks were fantastic.
When I entered the boys’ dorm, I was immediately attacked.
“I thought we sent you off to bed,” Louis frowned at me.
“You did,” I rolled my eyes, glancing over to Callie.
“I’m leaving her here,” she explained, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind her. “I’m busy with tutoring, Allie’s in a broom closet and Rose can’t help Austin if she’s in the girls’ dorm.”
“Great, I get to spend all day with sick Rina,” Austin made a face at me.
I sent him a glare. “I’ll cough on you,” I threatened.
He responded by sticking his tongue out at me, and I shuddered again as a chill ran through me.
“Come here,” Albus beckoned me over to his bed.
I smiled gratefully as he tucked me under his covers, and then went and dragged the blankets off Austin’s bed.
“I’ll be fine,” I told him as he began covering those over me as well.
“Shush,” he said, pulling the blankets around me tightly.
“She’ll be fine,” Scorpius assured Callie, who was biting her lip nervously.
“Yeah,” she smiled fleetingly and set the book and tissues next to me. She then proceeded to summon the trashcan over as well. “Good thing Scorpius is a neat-freak, at least,” she glanced around the relatively orderly room.
He shrugged, smiling. “I don’t like messes. So sue me.”
“It’s bloody annoying,” Austin made a face at his folded school shirts.
I rolled my eyes. “You’re an idiot.”
“You’re sick,” he shot back.
I sneezed and raised an eyebrow. “So?”
He shrugged. “I got nothing.”
I rolled my eyes again. I loved him, really, I swear.
“Am I the only one shocked that she’s not mad at us?” Louis spoke up suddenly.
“Yeah,” Albus frowned, turning to me as well. “You’re always mad after Leap of Faith.”
“For a bloody week at least,” Austin added, making a face.
I shrugged, sneezing again and glancing over to Callie. “For Callie’s benefit, I suppose. She’s gotta be okay with leaving me here. And besides,” I turned back to them and pulled the blankets closer, “when I got mad at James, Fred and Tristan, my head began pounding.”
“Karma,” Austin nodded seriously.
“I can’t wait until you get your karma for being so mean to me!” I snapped at him.
He only raised an eyebrow. “Rina, you are much meaner than I am.”
My glare darkened.
I’m not mean.
Louis laughed. “You’re horrible Rina.”
“No one would hang around long enough to realize that you’re relatively harmless if you weren’t so damn hot,” Albus added, nodding along in agreement.
“Wouldn’t have me at least,” Austin spoke up.
I rolled my eyes at him. He had a crush on me in first year.
It was annoying, really, but Rose had always insisted that he was cute.
I wouldn’t have taken the time to befriend the git if he hadn’t been friends with Albus and Louis who were Rose’s cousins.
Seriously, that’s the only reason I bothered with any of them in the first place.
I sneezed twice before I could come up with a snappy comeback, so I just let it go.
Just goes to show how sick I am, that I let it go.
“Why don’t you lot just disappear to all the damn food,” I grumbled instead, leaning back into the cushions. I must say, Albus had an extremely comfortable bed.
My stomach growled and I frowned.
If I wasn’t allowed to leave, how was I supposed to get food?
I looked up to meet Albus’s amused eyes; he’d heard my stomach.
“Bring me something?” I asked hopefully.
He rolled his eyes. “We’ll have to house elves send something up,” he promised.
I grinned as the lot of them emptied out of the room for the Great Hall, Callie sending me a worried glance as she shut the door behind her.
The grinning didn’t last all that long, however, because I fell back into a violent coughing fit.
I groaned, falling back in the bed and closed my eyes.
This wasn’t going to be fun.
And I was right.
My Sunday sucked. Really bad.
Rose was trying to get Austin to pay attention to Arithmancy, which was a bit difficult for her because the pea-brain wouldn’t stop picking on me and my puffy face and terrible coughs.
So, of course, I responded with colorful language and loads of coughing and sneezing, which only made him laugh some more. This resulted in me screaming and ended with me and a migraine.
The rest of the boys had left when the shouting had started.
The migraine had resulted in a lot of my complaining, which Austin, for some reason, found to be annoying. Can’t imagine why.
He wanted to leave, but Rose refused to leave me alone, and in the end, she silenced me and I had to watch, pouting, as the pair got back to Arithmancy.
At some point, I suppose I fell asleep, because the next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes to find the clock next to Albus’s bed glowing 7:30.
“That was quite a nap,” Rose spoke, making me jump.
I coughed and sat up slowly, pushing my hair back, to find her curled up in Scorpius’s bed with a thick book. “Where are the guys?”
“Your joking, right?” she raised an incredulous eyebrow. “Dinner time?”
I frowned slightly. “Oh yeah.”
“You hungry?” Rose asked.
My frown deepened as I realized that I wasn’t. But then again, I always lost my appetite when I got sick.
“No,” I shook my head, “but have you eaten?”
Rose shook her head as well. “No, I was waiting for you to wake up. I sent everyone else off only five minutes ago.”
“You can go,” I told her, resituating myself in the bed, “I’ll be fine for an hour or so.”
Rose’s brow creased with concern as I coughed again.
“You sure?” she questioned skeptically.
“Yeah,” I assured, nodding earnestly.
Rose didn’t appear appeased.
“Oh, just go eat! I’m fine!” I insisted.
Rose shut her book slowly, still looking me over.
My renewed coughing fit didn’t help matters.
“Fine,” I insisted again.
Rose finally sighed, dropping the book and getting off the bed. “Alright…”
“You’re a Weasley!” I reminded, “You have to eat; it’s what you do.”
She smiled slightly, rolling her eyes as she pocketed her wand. “I’ll hurry.”
“Take your –“ I cut off for a sneeze before finishing, “– time.”
Concern clouded her face again as she paused at the door, but I waved it off, reaching for a tissue.
“Don’t worry about it,” I told her after blowing my nose (rather obnoxiously) and dropping the tissue into the trashcan. I grabbed my book and opened it before looking back to my redhead friend. “I’m reading.”
Rose sighed slightly. “Well, you are fine when you’re reading.”
“Exactly,” I nodded, turning my attention to the book.
I heard her finally leave, but I’d barely made it five sentences when the door burst open again.
“I said I was f – Oh,” I frowned, finding not Rose, but James standing in the doorway.
“What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same,” he shot back.
“Callie,” I answered rolling my eyes, “Apparently, the girls are busy, and I can’t be left alone when I’m sick.”
“You’re alone now,” he pointed out.
“No, really?” I rolled my eyes again.
“No need to get sarcastic,” he shot back, entering the room.
“What do you want?” I asked him as he shut the door behind himself.
“The Invisibility Cloak,” he answered, moving to Albus’s trunk and throwing it open.
“You’re going to cause mischief?” I did my best to sound appalled, which worked out since I really was. James didn’t get in trouble anymore.
“Albus has it,” James pointed out, glancing up at me.
I shrugged. Fair point there. Albus never caused trouble.
“And it’s for Fred, actually,” he added, returning to searching the trunk.
Well, that made more sense.
“What’s he doing?”
“I don’t usually ask,” James responded with a bit of an amused smile.
That was wise, I suppose.
“You feeling any better?” he questioned me, pulling more stuff out of the trunk.
I made a face and narrowed my eyes at that.
Well, if I hadn’t gone out into the rain and wind to save his stupid life, I would be feeling much better.
I sneezed and reached for another tissue as he glanced up at me. “I’m feeling fantastic.” I blew my nose and dropped the tissue into the trashcan before dropping my head back against the headboard.
James rolled his eyes and reached into the bottom of the trunk, finally pulling out the light Invisibility Cloak. “A simple ‘no’ would suffice.”
“Oh, go to hell,” I snapped, glaring at the top of his stupid gorgeous head. Seriously, his hair was fantastic. It had a mind of its own and never lay flat, looking stupid all the time, but that’s one of the reasons he always looked so damn sexy.
See why he pisses me off?
It’s a pet peeve of mine when good looking people are so terrible.
No, I’m not a hypocrite.
I’m not terrible.
Arrogant, maybe, but not terrible.
“Right back at ya, Love,” James smirked up at me.
Not as terrible as bloody Potter.
“You’re terrible,” I informed him.
“Oh, I’m sure,” he chuckled, returning things to Albus’s trunk. “Like you’re just so fantastic.”
I snorted.
“What?” James looked up again scathingly.
I glared.
I just saved your life you great prat!
Way to treat the bitch that saved your fucking life!
And then people wonder why I dislike him.
“What?” he repeated, seeming to find my fury to be amusing.
I responded with another snort.
I then proceeded to cough violently, gripping the blankets and clutching my stomach.
Fuck my life.
I glanced up to see that James’s smirk had actually widened.
Yeah, that’s right: he was enjoying my pain.
Sick bastard.
“You’re a fucking bastard,” I told him through gritted teeth, pulling myself up in bed and clutching my head. I could barely move with the all over body aches consuming me.
“Oh, I am, am I?”
“Yes, you are!” I glared furiously.
It was his turn to snort as he slammed the trunk shut and stood. “Says the selfish bitch spending the day in bed.”
Says the selfish bitch that saved your fucking life!
My conceited self iss never going to let go of the fact that he owes me his worthless life.
Telling him would be insanely satisfying, actually.
“What was that?” James raised an eyebrow mockingly at my lack of response.
I gritted my teeth in an attempt to keep my mouth shut. There was a reason Roxanne and Molly had been threatening people, after all.
“I’m afraid I didn’t catch that.”
I’d actually opened my mouth to inform him of exactly what had gone down the night before when the door burst open again.
“Where’s the Cloak?” Fred asked, entering the room.
James tossed it to him and brushed passed him out of the room.
Git.
Fred glanced around the room in confusion, until his eyes found me.
“Yeah, Louis mentioned you were up here.”
I was too busy glaring at the door James had slammed shut to respond.
“What did you fight about?” he sighed, walking in and dropping onto the other end of the bed.
“You hear what happened last night?” I growled, still glaring at the door.
“His near death experience? Yeah,” he nodded.
“Yeah.”
“You told him?” Fred cried, eyes widening.
“No, you dolt,” I rolled my eyes, looking back around at him. “I probably would’ve though.”
“You can’t!” he reminded insistently.
“He’s got the nerve to call me selfish!” I cried. “I should’ve let him die if I’m oh so selfish.”
“Rina –“
“Shut up!” I glared.
“Look, I know –“
“I’m still pissed at you, too, actually, so get out!”
Fred sighed and took the Cloak, getting up from the bed. “Alright, Love. Feel better.”
I glared at the back of his head until he left.
And then I sneezed again and had to blow my nose.
Fuck it all.
~*~
I woke up Monday morning with another groan.
Fucking classes.
Great.
I’d padded back up to my own dorm around 9:30 the night before, when the boys had returned and started spiking my headache again, and I fell asleep as soon as I made it to my bed.
Callie looked across the room to me in contemplation as I sat up, rubbing my head.
“Can you go to classes?” she asked.
I shrugged, sneezing. “Might as well. If you tell the teachers I’m up in my dorm sick, they’ll send me to the Hospital Wing, and I refuse to go there.”
She sighed as Allison came out of the bathroom. “Alright, then get dressed. You’re going to need some food.”
I dragged myself out of bed, ignoring Allison, who told me I looked like hell.
Looking in the bathroom mirror, however, I discovered she was most definitely right. My hair was sticking out all funky, and the bags under my eyes had not yet disappeared. I sighed and threw my hair up into a messy ponytail before going about brushing my teeth. I was not in the mood for a shower, so I just layered on the deodorant (yes, I know, personal hygiene if ever) and then yanked my hair back out. I stared at the mess of curls for a moment, before begrudgingly running my fingers through my hair in an attempted to tame it. I couldn’t comb my hair because I’d end up combing out my curls, and then it’d be a frizzy mess. I gave up after a few minutes and just pulled it back up into a messy bun, a few tangled curls falling out all over the place.
I then tracked down my eyeliner and attempted to reduce the zombiness of my eyes, though I failed epically.
I left the bathroom still looking like the undead and shuffled towards the closet. I found the warmest looking blouse I could find and a skirt and quickly changed, only to be left shuddering and missing my sweats.
Fuck the school uniform.
“Sweater?” Callie suggested.
Now, there’s an idea.
I returned to the closet to find a Hogwarts sweater, but came out empty-handed.
Fuck my lack of doing laundry.
“Nothing at all, Rina?” Callie frowned.
I shook my head grumpily, grabbing my wand and bag.
“I’m sorry,” she followed me from the room. It seemed Rose had left before I got up and Allison had left while I attempted to fix my face (which was an absolute fail).
I grumbled in response to her.
“None of us have done laundry, or else we could’ve found –“
“Never mind,” I sighed, sneezing into my arm.
Seeing as they didn’t require robes anymore either, we barely had a few sets. Being winter time, we had actually worn them, but had yet to send them to the laundry. Inconvenient if ever. All my warm clothes were dirty as well, and, though this shirt had looked like it would work, it was doing a miserable job of keeping me warm.
I’m going to protest the school.
Why do we have to wear fucking skirts anyways?
They probably hate me.
I mean, they already made James the bloody Quidditch captain.
“Morning, Callie!”
Ugh, think of the fucking devil.
Callie’s face took on a rare expression of anger as she glared across the common room at the bastard Potter.
She was angry at him for getting me sick.
“What?” James joined us but blatantly ignored me.
Callie responded by grabbing my arm and dragging me past him to the portrait hole.
“Callie!”
“We’re getting breakfast!” she snapped, shoving through the portrait.
I laughed slightly as she pulled me down the corridor. “I didn’t know Callie Mena had the capability of being angry at James Potter. She must really love me.”
“Yes, she does,” the dark-haired girl nodded.
I smiled as we headed down the stairs.
Passing the window, however, I noticed the leaves blowing around in the wind and realized that we had Herbology outside after Transfigurations.
And then I groaned as I realized Transfigurations was first.
Fuck Chang.
“Rina?” Callie frowned around at me.
I coughed slightly before facing her. “Chang,” was my way of explanation.
“Callie!”
Ugh.
What was wrong with fucking Potter?
“What, James?” she sighed, turning to face him as we stepped off the staircase on the fifth floor and headed down the hall to another staircase.
Leave it to Hogwarts to not have a direct staircase from the seventh floor to the ground floor.
I mean, seriously.
“Short cut?” he questioned, grinning and gesturing to a portrait.
I sneezed suddenly, causing James’s eyes to flicker over to me.
“Oh, I forgot about you.”
Prick.
“James,” Callie sent him a glare, “Go away.”
“What, she started it,” he pointed to me.
Right, I’m the one who jumped off the fucking tower.
“No, actually, you did.”
That’s right, Cals.
“Oh, really?” James raised an eyebrow. “And how’s that?”
You jumped off the fucking tower!
“Have you thanked her for the hangover potion?” Callie raised her brow right back.
No, actually, he hasn’t.
Now, I was even more pissed.
Fucking prick.
“Oh, please,” James rolled his eyes, “You probably made her give it to me. Or, more likely, snuck one from her box and brought it up yourself.”
Prick!
“No, I didn’t,” Callie sent him a glare, “I thought she was going to sell it. She already gave the extras to Hugo and Conner, and I figured she had to sell at least one to pay for the ingredients.”
Shit, she was right! I’m broke!
Bastard Potter, getting himself drunk.
This was all his fault.
James blinked for a moment, but then shrugged. “She still started it.”
Oh, I’ll start something alright!
“For your information, Potter,” I stepped towards him furiously, “I’m the one that –“
“Arabella!” Callie rounded on me, “That is not necessary!”
“Why the hell not?” I shot back, crossing my arms.
“Because he’ll go jump off the tower again!” she cried, waving her arms dramatically.
I rolled my eyes. Sure, Potter may not take well to owing me anything and may not be happy with almost getting himself killed, but I’m pretty sure it’d teach him to stay away from bloody towers.
“What?” James frowned in confusion.
“Nothing!” Callie snapped.
I rolled my eyes again and grabbed her arm. “Come on.”
“Wait!” James made to follow.
“You better not tell him,” she mumbled so that he wouldn’t hear.
“Because then I’ll be jumping off towers again, as well, won’t I?” I rolled my eyes for the third time in a minute.
I do that a lot, actually.
“Please, don’t,” she looked worried again.
I smirked slightly, glancing over my shoulder to James, who was still following. “She says she would prefer for you to go die.”
“I did not!” Callie gasped, appalled as she whirled around to face James again. “I didn’t!”
“More or less,” I shrugged.
“Well, I didn’t mean –“
I cut her off with a sneeze. “Can we please just go get food?”
She looked me over worriedly again, and then sent James another glare.
“It’s all your fault she’s sick, you know.”
He only laughed. “She’s the one who begged to play.”
“I was sick before that!”
He shrugged.
“You made me run all those laps in the rain!”
“Maybe you should listen to me a bit more.”
“Like hell!” I glared.
James only sent me an eye roll and brushed past us, disappearing through a random wall, which I figured was another secret passageway.
I made a face at the wall before coughing and stalking towards the stairs and down to the first floor.
Callie rolled her eyes at me as well as she followed, but I chose to adamantly ignore her. She was just being annoying because, even though she was currently mad at him, she, for some insane reason, actually liked James.
As we joined Austin, Albus and Louis at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, I looked back over to Callie to find that she was making eyes at Austin again.
I rolled my eyes at her, shaking my head as I turned to the food; poor thing was crushing on an absolute idiot.
She seemed to have a high tolerance for idiots, actually. She put up with James, after all.
Insane, I know.
I sneezed into my pancakes and managed to knock over the syrup I was trying to poor, which lead to me shrieking furiously again and glaring at my food.
“Rina,” Albus sighed dramatically at me.
“I don’t want to eat anymore!” I shouted. My stomach responded with a loud growl.
“Ugh!”
“You know, I just love you in the mornings,” Austin informed me, sarcastically, of course, as he reached over to pour the syrup over my pancakes.
“I don’t care!” I snapped at him. “I’m cold!”
“Didn’t do your laundry again?” Louis raised an eyebrow.
I answered with a glare and shivered again.
“You haven’t done yours either,” Callie reminded. “I was about to steal something for her, but then realized.”
“Gits,” I glowered at the boys, picking up my fork and gripping it forcefully as I began to poke at the pancakes.
“James and Lucas do their laundry,” Albus spoke up suddenly. “Hey, Lucas!”
I turned to find the blond, along with Fred, behind me.
“Yeah?” he glanced over.
“You’re not really that cold, are you?” Albus asked.
He frowned slightly in confusion, but Albus nodded towards me, shuddering and eyeing his warm looking fleece jacket.
Lucas laughed, and rolled his eyes, handing me the jacket.
I was so excited to put it on that I didn’t even bother to glare at him for rolling his eyes at my pathetic self.
“I love you,” I informed him smiling happily at the oversized sleeves.
“You are so bloody bipolar,” Fred said, rolling his eyes at me.
“Fuck off,” I glared at him.
He only shook his head and left with Lucas to join James and Tristan a little ways down the table.
“I hate Weasleys,” I pulled the sleeves of the jacket up slightly to uncover my hands and picked my fork back up.
“Thanks,” Louis rolled his eyes.
What was with all the eye-rolling?
I must be contagious.
Great influence, aren’t I?
I dug into my pancakes, ignoring the rest of my idiot friends, mood having improved ever so slightly.
By the time I found myself slouching in a chair in the back of Transfigurations class attempting to ignore Austin, who was poking me in the side, however, I was in a mood again.
“Come on, Rina,” Austin poked me again. “Smile.”
I glared at him.
“It honestly wouldn’t kill you to at least try.”
It probably would.
Another poke.
Another glare.
“This is not healthy, Rina,” Austin said.
“Being friends with you isn’t healthy!” I snapped back.
“I’m not the only one who thinks you need to improve your attitude, you know,” he said, ignoring my fury.
“Yes, I know,” I grumbled, staring at the blank blackboard in the front of the room. “Albus, Scorpius and Louis think so too. As do Callie and definitely Rose, and even Allison thinks so. Fred and Lucas think so, and so do Emily and Rachel. And most definitely James. And Jacob thinks so and Sophia thinks so too. Even my parents think so I bet, and they’re bloody dead.”
Austin didn’t respond, instead fidgeting with his fingers in his lap.
He was a boy and therefore incapable of dealing with an emotional girl bringing up her parents’ deaths.
They’d died two years ago when they were driving me home from Kings Cross station when I came home for holiday break. Mum was going to apparate to the station to get me, but Dad wanted to come along, so they drove; he wasn’t a wizard, so it was the only way. Mum had been against the driving idea in the first place because it was snowing and the roads were icy, and she’d been right.
My half-brother Jacob got to be my legal guardian after that.
Lucky for him.
(Not really).
Double lucky for his poor wife Sophia, who got stuck with me as well.
She claims she loves me, but really, with my moods?
Jacob was twenty-eight, and he thought he liked me as well, which is why he insisted on custody of me instead of Dad’s parents.
They’d loved his first wife, Catherine, and they really loved Jacob and his twin sister Julianne. But then he went and divorced Catherine, married my mum, and a year later, they got me as a granddaughter.
They didn’t like my mum, and consequently not me either.
Julianne was in complete agreement with them, hating my mum for being her stepmum and resenting me for being the product of her father’s relationship with another woman.
She’d always been a bit of a bully to me, actually. When her father died, however, she’d had just about enough. There had been a lot of screaming involved, and now she was gone.
Jacob had always liked me and Mum, and he hadn’t shared his sister’s sentiments, so when he tried to have a joint funeral for them, Julianne had been furious. When he refused to change his mind, she’d shrieked like crazy. When he decided I would be living with him, she’d left.
Poor Jacob didn’t even know where his twin sister lived anymore.
And the cherry on top was the sudden dip in my attitude.
Jacob and Sophia both insisted I try and be nice a bit more, but I hadn’t been able to like anyone other than their two-year-old daughter Julie in over a year.
It wasn’t my fault really.
I’d just finally had a little sense knocked into me; people really didn’t enjoy my company all that much.
Julianne had always insisted, and James could rant for hours about it. Rose made the fact absolutely clear as well.
And really, people sucked as it is.
I therefore did not feel Austin had the right to tell me to smile.
He doesn’t like me either, so he should go to hell.
Fuck you, Donald.
That’s right, I said it.
Donald.
“Rina…”
“Fuck you, Donald.”
Donald shut up.
Chang spent the entire class talking about something nobody cared about, and by the time class was over, my face hurt from scowling and glaring.
But, ‘course, I didn’t let that stop me.
I sniffled a bit as I yanked my bag onto my shoulder and stomped from the room, leaving fucking Donald to fumble around and tattle on my mood to the rest of my shitty friends.
Keeping in mind that I use the term “friends” loosely.
I may be a bitch destined to go to hell, but the lot of them would be joining me in the opposite corner.
The gits didn’t seem to understand the concept of keeping out of my life.
Honestly, did I interfere when Rose treated Scorpius like crap? Did I interfere with Allison’s whore-like tendencies? Did interfere with Callie’s ridiculous crush on Donald?
No.
So why the hell did the lot of them feel the need to interfere with my lack smiling.
Honestly, it wasn’t even as if I was always in a bad mood.
It was only when I didn’t feel like taking the effort to be in a good mood.
Which was most of the time.
Not all the time.
Just most of the time.
I spent a lot of time being in a general bad mood glaring at my Fanged Geranium in Herbology class next, and I left with holes in my hands, blood on my arms, and in an even more foul mood.
I also had a hideous headache, so I figured the best way to relieve it and my cold was to spend lunch outside and away from people.
No judging.
Outside was quiet and relaxing.
I’d only been sitting under the beech tree by the lake for a whole five minutes, however, when some idiot decided to interrupt me.
“Ara.”
And by idiot, I meant James Potter.
“What are you doing here?” he frowned, standing over me.
I took the time to send him a glare. “Sitting.”
“But you have –“
“If you’ve decided to hold another practice, I refuse to remain on your team and will probably hit you,” I added.
“No practice, just,” he frowned, sitting next to me, “just, you’re still a little sick. Shouldn’t you be inside?”
“Yes.”
He looked at me expectantly while I glared out over the lake.
I soon became annoyed.
More annoyed than I was before, I mean.
(Yes, it was possible as it turns out).
“What do you want?”
“You should be inside,” he repeated.
I sneezed. “So?”
James sighed dramatically, and I was pretty sure he was rolling his eyes at me.
“May I ask how you got your hands on my jacket?”
I frowned a bit in confusion at that, glancing down to the oversized sleeves I was clutching and then back up to his curious face.
“It’s yours?”
“Yes,” he nodded, raising an eyebrow.
“Albus made Lucas give it to me,” I answered him. “No one else has done laundry and I was cold.”
“I see.”
Silence.
James had yet to leave.
I sighed dramatically and climbed to my feet, glaring down furiously at him. “How fucking difficult is it to say, ‘give me my jacket back, you thieving bitch’?” I questioned, yanking the sleeves off and ignoring the chilling air and my shiver as I threw the damn thing at him.
“I –“
“Fuck you,” I snapped into his bewildered face and marched back towards the castle.
“Ara!”
James, being a Quidditch playing git, was quick enough to catch up with me.
“Ara!” he repeated at my lack of acknowledgement, grabbing my arm and yanking me around to face him.
“What?” I repeated in the same furious tone.
“I didn’t come looking for my jacket,” he said, seeming a bit annoyed.
Surprise surprise.
I seemed to be the most annoying person he’s ever met.
I gave the jacket back; what more did he want?
“Everyone’s worried,” he went on, “because Austin says that you –“
“Mind your own fucking business!” I grabbed my arm back and went to turn away again.
James, however, grabbed my wrist and pulled out his wand.
Before I had opened my mouth to question angrily, he’d pointed it to my fingers and stemmed the flow of blood dripping down my hands. I’d forgotten that the Geranium bites were bleeding.
I sent him another glare and pulled my hand back and stalked back up to the castle to find Donald and give him a piece of my mind.
Way to be a fucking tattletale.
A/N: I hope that I've resolved issues with the last chapter! I had to split the two up, actually.
But how do we feel about Rina's mood? Somewhat of a relief to get to know more about her? There are a lot of things that she's not willing to see or admit, so it takes a while to get to know even her, despite the fact that the whole story is biased in her point of view. Like I've rambled about in quite few reviews, every situation and character is seen throguh Rina's biased eyes, so things won't clear up for you (or me actually) until they do for her. I think I'm staying with Rina's view for the most part and figuring it out with her. I've got the main idea of what's going on, but I'm just as lost on the fine details as Rina. Not quite as bad as you guys, though, since I'm starting Chapter 9 ;P It's fun, I think, but I hope you don't mind being patient, because Rina really is a lot of drama. Her story is huge to her character though, so I'm hoping it explains a lot about her once you get through the next couple of chapters. It's interesting, I think.
Moving on...we had more James! I want to keep up with how we feel about him, so let me know. I'm working on his character, but I'm still unsure. I like Fred though! I feel it'll take a couple chapters for him to be more than a flat character, but I'm hoping this chapter hints at his serious side a bit. Austin's been established as a real person, I think, but I think he's a lot like Fred in that we haven't seen him serious yet.
And then there's Allison and Callie. They both have big parts in the story, I'm just not sure whose should go first, so I thought I'd hint at both. I'm leaning towards Callie's though, for the sake of the structure of the story.
I thrive on your reviews, and you know that you helped tons and I loved it when my response more than doubles your review :S
You also know I'm excited when I ramble so much in my ANs :D I think I ramble a lot, so be warned!
(But that wasn't suposed to scare you off reviewing!)
Disclaimer: JKR owns everything that you recognize
Chapter 6: Control
It wasn’t until Thursday that my mood actually improved for real.
I’d woken up finally not feeling at all sick, the rain had left, leaving only fierce wind, Ancient Runes had been insanely easy, and lunch was delicious.
But of course, karma hates me for some reason.
Seriously, I haven’t even done anything to deserve it.
All I did was save the life of the crazy Quidditch captain so that he could go back to practicing cruel and unusual punishment.
I mean, seriously.
“Hey, Ara,” Crazy Captain himself plopped down next to me on the bench at the Gryffindor table. “I hear you’re feeling better.”
“Much, thanks,” I smiled, glancing around to him.
See, I was even smiling. At James.
I didn’t deserve this.
“Great,” he grinned back. “So, we’re having practice at 3:30.”
I swear, I’m paying for Donald’s karma.
It was all the git’s fault for tattling.
“I’m going to hex you if you don’t disappear right now,” I told Crazy.
He didn’t budge.
“And I’m telling you right now that you better not be late,” he warned me instead.
“Because you’ll make me run laps if I am,” I rolled my eyes. “I’ll plan on leaving time to run then, shall I?”
“You will not be late!” James commanded.
“Yes, master,” I rolled my eyes, returning to my lunch.
“I’m serious!” he insisted, “I’ll kick you off my team!”
“That’s cool,” I reached for my water.
“You know, anyone else would be grateful –“
“Grateful?” my head snapped back to glare at him.
“Yes, grateful!” he snapped, “We could’ve practiced every day this week, but we didn’t because I didn’t want to make you go out while you were sick!”
“Sure,” I snorted, rolling my eyes. “You always give us a few days off every couple of months so that you can get caught up on everything else. We were long overdue.”
James’s eyes had narrowed into furious slits. “We didn’t practice this week because I was worried about you.”
I only snorted again, grabbing some grapes from the bowl in the middle of the table.
“What?” James seemed insanely annoyed.
“You have never showed genuine concern for me in your entire life.”
He seemed ready to explode, face going through ten different shades as he opened his mouth to deliver another furious retort.
“Your concern for me stretches as far as your fear of Rose when she’s concerned about me,” I went on, popping a grape into my mouth.
“You are such a narcissistic bitch!” he exploded, looking about ready to slap me across the face and scaring a few third years, who flat out ran to the other side of the Hall.
Yeah, he cares plenty, wishing to slap me. Real concern.
And narcissism? Really? It might be true, but how exactly does my acknowledgement of his distaste for me prove it?
He was just feeling the desire to yell at me again.
Prat.
“I know, Potter,” I glared in annoyance. “You despise me, for no reason, at all, you don’t give a shit for my wellbeing, and you wouldn’t give a fuck if I keeled over and died.” I got to my feet with my grapes in hand, intending to leave before I said something rude.
No, I had not yet insulted him.
Shocker, I know.
“I would be very upset if you died.”
“Oh, yes, of course,” I rolled my eyes, “You would be extremely upset. Having to replace your best Chaser would be a complete nightmare.”
James’s eyes slitted again furiously. “Are you insane?”
“Yes,” I nodded over my shoulder as I left the Hall.
To say the least, my mood had, once again, regressed.
Despite my best efforts, pissing off Crazy Quidditch Captain James Potter did not cancel practice.
Nevertheless, I took my time trudging down to the pitch after Herbology, ignoring Allison, Callie, Albus, and Louis, who’d rolled their eyes at me and run ahead.
Despite the fact that I had a whole half-hour to get down to the pitch, I managed to be forty minutes late. Probably because I took a break at the lake to sit down and eat my apple, and then proceeded to clean out my bag, where I found various crumpled papers and broken quills that needed discarding.
No, I was not trying to be late on purpose.
It just appeared that way when I showed up to the Gryffindor locker room around 4:10 after a power nap to find an extremely pissed James Potter.
He was probably considering extreme cruel and unusual punishment again as he glared at the back of my head as I headed towards the girls’ changing rooms.
After spending a good five minutes changing, and then another ten to “properly” tie my hair up, I figured I had nothing better to do and sauntered from the room.
Yeah, that’s right, I sauntered.
That’s how cool I am.
James was even more pissed at my coolness.
“What were you doing?” he demanded.
“I had an apple, than I cleaned out my bag,” I answered, frowning at a piece of bang that was falling into my eyes. “Do you realize how much shit had collected down there?”
“No,” he answered in an icy tone.
I shrugged. “There was a lot. But yeah, so, anyway, it was actually a bit tiring, cleaning everything out and reorganizing on top of that, so I took a nap.”
James blinked.
This is fun.
I resisted the urge to burst into entertained laughter.
“You took a nap?”
I nodded. “Cleaning is always exhausting, and the lake is quite calming, actually. I figured it’d be good for me to get a little bliss before reporting to the fiery pits of hell.”
James appeared furious.
Beyond furious, actually.
It was a bit hilarious.
I mean, honestly, he looked like he’d love to Avada me, and any sane person would cower and run for the hills, but I’m not afraid of much.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand that there is a high possibility that James may brutally murder me. I just can’t convince myself to be afraid of him; he’s not worth the effort because, frankly, he’s just an arse.
A worthless arse.
A worthless arse whose life I saved.
I don’t think he’s allowed to kill me, actually.
Bloody hell, he’s trying to kill me with his eyes.
He’s pissed.
“You’d make a good Basilisk, James,” I informed him, glancing around to everyone else shaking their heads, all disappointed in me.
Eh, there’s nothing new there.
“So, are we going to practice at all?” I questioned them. “I could return to the nap –“
“I cannot believe you took a nap!” James exploded.
“Really?” I turned back to him with a raised eyebrow. “It’s me.”
James shouted furiously and incoherently.
“Excuse me?” I frowned in confusion.
“You’re off the team!” he screamed.
I snorted and rolled my eyes. “Sure.”
“Bloody hell, I haven’t got a clue what I was thinking putting you on my team!” he cried. “I must be –“
“A complete idiot arsehead?” I supplied.
His eyes spit some more furious fire.
“Go die,” I told him in response.
James seemed to be attempting to take some calming breaths.
They didn’t work.
“Up in the air!” he rounded on the rest of the team.
Allison rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically, shouldering her broom and heading for the door. “This is going to be fun.”
The rest of the team seemed to concur with her sarcastic assessment.
“You,” James proceed to return his fury to me. “Fifty laps.”
I rolled my eyes as well before following the team out and proceeding to pound my way around the pitch.
I must admit, I nearly got blown off course, the howling wind being so strong.
Around lap fifteen, I glanced up to the sky, beyond James floating fifty feet from the cold ground and screaming at everyone else, and noticed that storm clouds were blowing in again.
With another particular gust of wind, I shuddered and looked away from the rest of the team on their brooms, watching my feet pound across the earth instead. The temperature had to be nearing freezing. It was two whole days into December after all.
I actually liked the snow; it was pretty and white.
I only ever liked winter when there was snow. I loved the beauty of the snowy blanket covering everything and the soft flakes blowing around as they fluttered to the ground, and I loved the smell of the snow and the orangey night sky and bright glow of a snowy night.
I huffed heavily, forcing myself forward on burning legs at lap twenty-six, eyes tearing against the wind.
My throat became tight and my legs wobbled at lap thirty-nine, and I gasped for breath with difficulty.
I then proceeded to scold myself in my head; I was only rounding off my eighth mile, and there was no need to get wobbly at that.
My chest burned and there was a knotted lump in my throat by lap forty-five, but I only had a mile to go, and really, that was nothing.
God, I really am becoming a real baby.
What a wimp.
By the time I rounded off lap fifty, my vision was blurred, my breaths were barely coming out as half-way gasps, my throat was knotted, my stomach ached, my sides were stitched, my chest burned, and I’d regressed into an absolute baby.
Like, I was newborn.
I tripped over my feet and collapsed into a heap on the cold hard earth with the fierce wind slashing at my skin. I closed my eyes and shuddered.
I was vaguely aware of icy rain lashing down at me, the cold wind howling past me. The awareness of the dropping sensation in my stomach as I dove evaded me as I focused on only one thing in the black dark.
“Rina! Open your eyes!”
My eyes flew open to find the rest of the team gathered around me, and, as it turned out, it was still plenty light and it wasn’t raining today.
I closed my eyes again, bringing my fingers up to press against my temples as the general chaos of the night of the party overwhelmed me again.
“I’m telling Rose!” I heard Louis’s furious voice over the wind, followed by a snort.
“Why not just hex him yourself?” Allison suggested. “I’ll do it.”
“She – she shouldn’t practice today,” Callie’s voice shook.
I opened my eyes to find her concern-ridden face and followed her terrified eyes up to James, who I found hadn’t landed, but was instead hovering impatiently overhead.
My stomach dropped.
Well, now, that’s a complication.
“Don’t worry, Cals,” I attempted to reassure her, “I’m here, remember?”
Her eyes snapped back to me and she only shook her head. “I’m just being silly. It’s fine, really.”
I just looked at her and rolled my eyes. “Sure, it’s fine. I just blacked out and had a fucking flashback.”
Callie open her mouth to respond, but I suddenly became pissed again and instead directed my eyes up to the git source of our problems, bloody James Potter.
I should’ve let him die.
I mean, seriously, I’m the one who told him to go die, and then I take the trouble of bloody saving him?
Where’s the logic in that?
“I hate you,” I informed, him, getting to my feet, feeling a bit lightheaded and shoving passed Fred and Austin, who were exchanging bewildered expressions, as I reached for my hair-tie.
“I forbid you to leave my practice!” James shouted over the screeching wind after me.
I froze.
He forbids me?
“You forbid me?” I rounded on him furiously.
I dropped my hand to my hip, letting my hair lose to whip around in the wind.
“Yes, I forbid you,” James brought his broom around to me, dipping it down to be a bit more level, six feet from the ground, still over my head.
My eyes locked on his large form through the hair lashing across my face, slipping down to the edge of his broom.
“And what,” I willed my voice not to shake as I brushed my hair from my face and left it behind my neck, “makes you think that you can give orders to me?”
“I’m your Captain,” he answered simply, leaning forward on the broom, angling it closer to the earth, slipping farther down the handle.
I believe I briefly heard Callie whimper through the raging wind.
For my part, however, I found myself tightly fisting my hands, keeping my eyes trained on the bastard Captain as pieces of my hair escaped into my face again.
“What was that?” James leaned farther down.
My fists tightened.
“I’m sorry, but I didn’t hear the response,” he taunted further, dipping closer to me.
Gosh dammit!
“I’m afraid that’s it then,” he smirked triumphantly, “I’m your Captain, and you have to listen.”
A particular gust of wind swayed his broom slightly, but in the next second, he’d steadied the broom and was smirking arrogantly at me again.
Callie, however, had shrieked.
“For the love of God James!” I found myself shrieking along with her. “Get out of the air!”
“What?” he frowned, arrogance dissolving in an instant.
I responded by pointing behind him to where Callie was staring at him in paralyzed fear.
James had landed in front of her in a moment, discarding his broom as she released a sigh of relief.
“What’s wrong?” he frowned in concern, catching her as she launched herself into his arms.
“She’s been like that for the past hour, you twat,” I answered, pissed once again. “The last time you lot were on brooms, jumping off bloody towers had been involved,” I reminded, sending a bit of my fury at the rest of the idiot boys.
Usually, Callie was okay with the situation, but considering James’s…experience, she was a bit more terrified than usual.
Perhaps because this was the first time anyone had actually almost died while plummeting to the earth.
Miraculously.
“What –“
“You should go to hell and stay there,” I informed him, stepping closer furiously. “I’d send you there myself, but that one,” I sent a look to my devastated friend, still clinging to him, “would be upset. You may not care for the fact, but I do.”
James had gone rigid, glowering all over again. “And who do you think you are to –“
I’m the bitch that saved your life.
“She’s the one who, you know, actually cares,” Allison answered for me however, showing clear annoyance with James as well.
I turned to raise an eyebrow at her.
“Cares?” James snorted. “She’d watch me die with a tub of popcorn.”
I rounded on him again, beyond livid.
Yeah, next time, I will spend my energy conjuring popcorn instead of saving his arse.
“Rina –“
“Fuck off,” I sent Fred’s warning look a glare before turning on my heel and marching off the pitch.
I’m not stupid.
I know that the whole lot of them care bucket loads for James, and, therefore, I’m always the bitch at the end of a dispute with him. Forget all the shit he says to me (the delusional bastard), but if I told him the truth they’d never forgive me because he might freak out.
Seriously, where was the proof he’d react badly?
Other than the semi-depression at what an idiot person he was for actually beating a guy up for no reason at all after the first Turner incident.
I personally didn’t think that was so bad, however; he should take a moment every now and then to reflect on what a git he is.
Knowing what he put poor Callie and Lily through would be good for him.
A bit of a humbling experience.
It was much needed, though it wasn’t likely to affect his conscious all that much.
Seeing as he was a heartless git without a care in the world for most people.
He barely cared for his mum if he was going to go around getting pissed drunk and jumping off bloody towers.
So lost in blind rage as I was, I didn’t even realize I’d managed to march through the entire castle and up to my dormitory until I’d slammed the door shut behind me and Rose had glanced up to raise an eyebrow.
“What happened?” she asked, seeming to resist the urge to roll her eyes at my fury; apparently, it was “getting old,” my regular annoyance with James.
“Your foul git of a cousin is an absolute prick, and he should go to hell,” I answered her furiously.
“He’s just –“
“If he’s just oh so convinced that I’d watch him die with bloody popcorn, then that’s exactly what I’ll do next time!” I decided, beginning on my rant as I stalked aimlessly across the room.
“He’s not –“
“I mean, he’s not completely stupid, I admit,” I conceded, “I don’t like him, and I would most definitely be better off without him around to fuck up my life, but I do care about the rest of you bloody lot, and the fact alone that you for some reason give a fuck about the prat is enough for me to bother to save his worthless arse. How could he possibly think that I am that uncaring for my stupid friends that I’d actually enjoy something that would cause you so much worthless pain?”
“James is a clueless prat,” Rose said, eyes zeroing in on me in a way that made me stop and look at her. “He doesn’t know what’s going on, but I love him more than anything. He is not a bad person.”
“No, of course not,” I rolled my eyes, “He just hates me for no apparent reason.”
“He does not hate you.”
“Yes, he does.”
Rose sighed and rolled her eyes. “You are just terribly annoying enough to run out his endless patience.”
“James is a generally nice person, but he loathes me more than anyone else on earth,” I concluded firmly, crossing my arms. “I’m not stupid; just because I say he’s a worthless git doesn’t mean that I actually think he is. I know he’s not a prick; he’s only a prick to me because he hates me because I’m oh so ‘annoying,’” I rolled my eyes.
Rose rolled her eyes right back, picking her book back up off her lap. “If that’s what you want to think,” she shrugged.
“That is not what I want to think,” my eyes narrowed at her.
The redhead looked back up at me to raise an eyebrow.
What, did she want me to actually say it?
“Yes, Rose, I miss him,” I rolled my eyes again. “But I’m also over it, so he can hate me now if he wants. And you can leave me alone.”
Rose shut her book and got off her bed, leaving the room without a word.
I blinked at the door for a moment.
And then I went to bed.
~*~
“ – all week, Rose. Don’t make it worse. I can’t handle it.”
“But –“
“No.”
“She’s right, though. This is getting absolutely ridiculous.”
“Damn straight it is,” I grumbled, sitting up in bed and sending my bint friends a glare. “It’s the way I do it. Rude, bitchy and ridiculous.”
I mean, I’m not stupid; they’re always talking about me behind my back.
Thanks for the love, friends.
Seriously.
Arses.
“Look, Rina,” Rose crossed her arms at me, glaring right back, “If you’re going to –“
“Rose,” Callie sent her a glare.
“No,” Allison repeated, sending her a glare. “Continue,” she turned back to the redhead.
Callie decided to glare at her instead.
I rolled my eyes.
Way to glare, guys.
Way to copy my glaring tendencies.
I started it, I know.
I started a fad.
A glaring fad.
Seriously, first the eye rolling, and now the glaring.
Wow, I am a bad influence.
“I know I suck, alright?” I sighed, rolling my eyes (yes, I know). “There’s no use wasting your breath.”
“You’re not –“
“I don’t care, Rose!”
Yes, I was pissed now.
“I told you, I don’t care, and I’m fine,” I reminded, “I only get pissed when you lot get on me like this!”
“Well, I get pissed just looking at you!” Rose shot back before turning on her heel, red curls flying as she stomped to the door, slamming it behind her. Allison gave me a fairly disgusted once over, accompanied by a disappointed headshake, and left with her.
Well.
Way to copy my inflection tendencies, too.
Callie just looked at me for a moment, but then she sighed and shook her head disappointedly as well.
I rolled my eyes.
She sighed and left after the others, which left me all alone.
I glanced around to my broomstick, which was laying on the ground, and then proceeded to kick it under my bed and slip on my shoes. I left the dormitory, took a deep breath, considering a better mood, and headed down to the common room. I spotted Austin and Scorpius with Callie and Allison in front of the fireplace, but upon catching sight of me, Allison glared and immediately stood up.
Callie followed her line of sight, and seeing me, I could tell from the distance that she was sighing dramatically as she grabbed Allison’s arm and yanked her back down.
Well then, I supposed it’s safe.
I made my way over and collapsed at the foot of the sofa, stretching my legs and leaning back as I closed my eyes.
“Rina…”
My mouth twisted into a frown.
“Look here, please.”
My eyes opened to glare at the smarmy blond git.
“Now, Rina,” Scorpius crossed his arms. “What have we said about these moods of yours?”
“They piss you off.”
“Do you care for us, or are you just a hypocrite?”
My eyes narrowed.
“Then you wouldn’t like upsetting us, would you?”
I glowered a bit more.
“Thank you,” he nodded in approval at my submission.
Well, Scorpius Malfoy had another thing coming!
I had not yet submitted!
“James Potter just pisses me off!”
“Rina,” Callie did her dramatic sigh thing again.
“No, seriously!” I rounded on her. “Where does the bloke get off trying to boss me around, acting as if he’s in control of me or whatever? Who gave him the bloody right to order me around?”
“Well, technically,” Austin started out from his armchair, “Professor Longbottom did when he made him Capt –“
“Bloody arsebutt!” I shrieked (yes, that was my exact wordage). “Being the bloody Gryffindor Quidditch team’s bloody Captain means shit! He can’t control my actions!”
“Well, if you’re going to do stupid things –“
“The fucking bastard has the guts to tell me I do stupid things?” I cut Allison off completely. “Where the hell does he get the idea that he has to save my life? When has anyone ever had to? Have I ever been in a life threatening situation? No. Where the bloody hell does he get off claiming I whittle down his life? I’m the one who’s lost bloody twenty years to her life saving his worthless arse! What the fuck does he know?”
“Not that you saved his worthless arse,” Allison reminded.
I glared at her.
“Here’s what I think,” Callie spoke up after a moment’s silence in which she’d sat looking me over with a contemplating expression.
“What?” I grumbled at her.
“You may find yourself hating James most of the time,” she admitted, twisting her dark hair around her finger as she looked at me determinedly, “but I think you may be a little bit – don’t kill me – in love with him.”
My jaw dropped.
Callie Mena is the most clueless bint on the planet.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she dropped her hair. “It’s just, the look on your face that night. And I know you like to act like you’re just mad, but the things he says to you really do actually hurt.”
I just gaped at her some more.
“You used to be really good friends, Rina,” she reminded, “and you were heartbroken when the pair of you suddenly started screaming at each other all the time.”
Holy fuck.
“What’s going on?” Louis plopped down in front of the fire with Albus and Rose.
Bloody fantastic.
I looked around from my stupor and started.
Shit. How often is Callie right?
“Callie here has discovered why our Quidditch team is such an epic fail,” Austin explained to Louis, smirking.
My eyes flashed around to him.
He was hinting!
Git!
“Our team’s not that much of a fail,” Louis defended, “Except for Rina and James screaming at each other all the time.”
“Yes,” Austin nodded, smirk widening, “That’s what she’s managed to explain.”
Rose frowned, glancing around to the dark-haired girl, who simply shrugged. “Er…what?”
“Rina’s in love,” Scorpius explained, sending me a smirk as well.
Also git!
Stop bloody hinting!
I haven’t had a chance to think yet!
It’s not like the arseheads knew shit anyways; what did they have to hint about?
“Oh dear, Lord,” Rose was shaking her head. For some reason, she found me in connection to pleasant emotions to be implausible. Can’t imagine why.
Seriously.
I’m not being sarcastic.
‘Kay, yes, I am.
“With?” Albus prompted, ignoring the redhead, eyes trained on me instead.
For my part, I was blushing madly and staring at the floor. I wasn’t telling him I was in love with his brother.
And my friends may be cruel, but they wouldn’t do that to me eith –
“James.”
Bloody bint!
I sent Allison a furious glare.
What the hell was she thinking?
Oh, that’s right, she doesn’t think!
I couldn’t have all of James’s family knowing I was in bloody love with him!
They talked!
I eventually chanced a glance over to the Weasleys (and Potter) after Allison responded to my fury with a shrug of her own.
Louis just blinked at me. And then he blinked at me again. And then he blinked a third time.
This was unsettling.
Rose, however managed to claim my attention. And most of the common room’s as well, now that I mention it.
“Bloody Merlin’s fucking pants!” she screeched.
What the hell did Merlin have to do with this? Or his pants?
Albus, however, had the simplest response.
When I looked to him, he only returned my gaze and said one word.
“No.”
Ouch.
Before I’d even opened my mouth to question, he’d gotten up and walked away.
I blinked, eerily similar to Louis.
But then, I snapped out of it and chased Al down before he made it to the stairs to his dorm.
“Hold on, wait,” I grabbed his arm and spun him around, “What’s –“
“Just,” Albus sighed, shaking his head, “No, Rina. James and you is not good.”
“He’s your brother,” I reminded.
“Which is how I know it’s not good,” he nodded.
“Fucking Merlin!” Rose and Louis, who’d managed to stop blinking, caught up with us.
“Are you on drugs?” Louis questioned.
“No!” I protested. “I mean, why are you freaking out? I’m the one going insane.” Seriously. “I don’t even bloody know what I think now! Let alone fucking feel! I hate James!”
“Apparently not enough,” Albus muttered under his breath.
“I’m about to fucking hyperventilate over here!” I found myself shrieking. “But Merlin,” (maybe he had more to do with this than I thought) “I think Callie might be right!”
Shit.
Did I mean that?
Shit, I think I may have.
Holy fuck.
The Weasleys’ (and Potter’s) looks seemed to mirror my sentiments.
I am so screwed.
“Don’t worry,” Louis turned to his cousins quickly, “she’ll come off whatever drugs she’s on –“
“I’m not on drugs!” I found myself screaming, only to receive a bunch of looks from the rest of the room asking “Are you sure?”
No I’m not, actually.
Joke.
Really.
“Arabella Audrina,” Rose’s severe gaze met my suddenly terrified eyes.
This was not good.
At all.
“Rina,” she addressed me again, “Are you sure?”
I just looked at her for a moment, but then nodded meekly.
Bloody Merlin.
I honestly got a bit woozy and closed my eyes.
Shit.
Why?
It’s not like the git’s nice to me!
Bloody, hell, how does that work?
The world is seriously fucked up.
Seriously, the bloody fates are playing sick games.
They’re fucking twisted.
Like, where do they get these ideas?
It’s not like this even makes plausible sense.
How could it?
But I know one thing for sure; this is not my idea. This isn’t at all voluntary.
Forget James Potter trying to control me; I don’t control what happens in my life.
Like, at all.
A/N: Sorry I took so long! I know I said in a couple reviws that I would update as soon as I figured out chapter nine, but I couldn't get things moving right until I got started on chapter eleven. Sorry! I would've hated it if I posted this chapter and then had to go back to change details later just because of what happens in later chapters. I'm really not very organized with this, so even though I know where it's going, I'm not sure how I'm getting there, which is why I have to be well enough ahead before I'm comfortable posting.
But, moving on, what do we think??? This chapter is a bit filler, but at the same time, you get a lot of insight in it. I really want to know how you guys feel about James at this point, though;) And Rina's revelation.... I know I'm bring it up now, but it develops slowly because I don't want it to ruin the story. There's tons more growing for Rina to do before things actually happen. I'm just staying realistic and developing things slowly as far as her relationship goes. Besides, I don't think any of us, Rina nor you guys, like James enough yet for real feelings ;D
But review! The next chapter should be out as soon as I get through chapter eleven. I just need to get things solidified in my mind, I suppose. The next one's super dramatic though! One of my favorites, along with the Quidditch match! (Look at me being evil to you guys ;D )
I'm finishing this epic A/N with a teaser for you guys!
“So you go and destroy my best friend?” I questioned furiously. “Rose would never purposely try to hurt anything!”
“Then why do you let her mess with you so much?” he demanded.
I frowned. “What?”
“You know she doesn’t hate you or think you’re terrible, so for the love of God, why have you convinced yourself that she does?”
A little Scorpius development for you guys because I love him;)
Disclaimer: Don't own stuff you don't think I do
Chapter 7: Devastation
I was dead scared.
Like, out of my mind, shit my pants (eww, gross) make-this-end-now-please horrified.
I like James Potter.
Dear God how did that happen?
I mean, I could tell over the last couple of years that I was losing my mind, but I’d never realized exactly what that meant.
Turns out it meant I was falling for James Potter.
Which doesn’t even make any sense, actually, because I still hate the smarmy prat.
This inner conflict and my absolute fury at the whole situation were perfectly acceptable reasons for the glare on my face Friday morning. They also justified my pancake stabbing and utensil slamming.
(No, I am not behaving immaturely).
I shoved another piece of syrup drenched pancake into my mouth as I reached for my glass of milk, glaring up to whatever happened to be across from me as I waited to finish chewing and swallowing.
What happened to be across from me was James Potter.
Fuck my entire life.
I blinked for a moment, and then I dropped my fork.
Dear God my brain is turning to mush.
Like literally.
I’m actually gawking at James Potter.
When did I sink to this level?
I attempted to tear my gaze away from him, but I found that I couldn’t.
Well, I’m fucked.
I don’t even know when he got so damn attractive.
I mean, sure he was always gorgeous, but I myself had never been particularly attracted to him. I was too busy screaming at him most of the time.
And now, all of a sudden, I was literally swooning when he approached my vicinity?
I am so pathetic.
Beyond all levels of patheticness.
That’s how pathetic.
“Really, Rina?”
I jumped and snapped my eyes around to the other Potter as the James one passed on by and settled himself down at the other end of the table.
I poured some milk into my mouth, and then proceeded to pretend I had not been doing anything insane and returned my eyes to Albus’s disapproving gaze, ignoring the sudden redness of my face.
God.
“Why are you mooning over James?” he demanded. “I mean, I’ve never caught you mooning over me, and James and I could be twins if we weren’t born fourteen months apart. The point being you have no reason to go around gaping at him.”
I just shrugged helplessly, sneaking a peek back down the table as James reached for eggs and bacon.
“Rina!”
“What?” I decided to glare at Albus again.
Seriously, the prat was getting annoying.
It’s not like this was my idea!
“Leave her alone, Al,” Rose sighed, reaching for pumpkin juice.
“Please,” I added, slamming my glass down.
“But –“
“The times of realizing intense feelings for a good-for-nothing prathead are extremely difficult,” she informed him.
Thank you, Rosie!
“No sane person would make the decision herself, and there is nothing sane about the situation in the first place,” she went on, setting down her goblet. “Therefore, she has every right to gawk in the attempt to make sense of the insanity. It’s already terrible, and I’m afraid it only gets worse, so leave her alone.”
“Thank you, Rosie,” I nodded along with her and picked my fork back up.
“Oh, what does she know?” Albus snapped.
“Speaking from experience,” Rose shot him a look, “I know quite a bit.”
“Was that meant to insult me?” Scorpius raised an eyebrow.
She shook her head but shrugged. “Not on purpose, but it probably should.”
“Thanks,” he rolled his eyes sarcastically, returning to his own breakfast.
He and Allison were the only ones to have already accepted and moved on with my insanity.
Callie seemed to enjoy the whole predicament, as did Austin, though both for different reasons. Callie thought it was fantastic, while Austin found amusement in my pain. Fucking sadist.
Rose was fairly sympathetic, having been there before, and Albus was on the other side, absolutely furious about the idea.
Louis, meanwhile, preferred to live in denial pretending nothing insane was going on.
I was probably more in sync with Albus, being entirely pissed with the situation.
Like, I don’t like James Potter at all. I do not want to be in love with him.
Karma was trying to teach me the lesson that I can’t have everything I want and life’s not fair.
Fucking lemons. I used to like them.
Why can’t life hand me blueberries?
Or pineapples?
I love pineapples.
If I was going to be reincarnated as a fruit in my next life (because I actually think about stuff like that), I’d want to be a pineapple. I already know all about appearing all sweet and everything and then going and being a bitch with crazy rude sarcasm and insanely sharp wit, so it might be nice to shake things up a bit. I could actually be nice and only pretend to be mean.
What a change.
So, now that I’ve established my insanity.
Moving on.
Or circling back to the original topic of conversation.
My stupid crush.
God, shoot me now, please.
I really am begging.
A nice Avada would be great.
I’ll just take my key to my pit in hell and get on with it.
“Please, Rina, don’t kill yourself,” Austin spoke suddenly, doing that weird thing where he reads my mind.
I sent him a look of annoyance; I hate when he does that.
“If you’re dead, I won’t get to see how this whole thing plays out,” he went on.
Prat.
I threw a grape at him.
It hit him in the eye.
He cursed.
I popped a grape into my mouth.
I like grapes.
I could probably deal if life handed me grapes too.
“Rina.”
“What?” I sent my glare towards Scorpius.
My glare only hardened when I realized he was looking at me in that, we’re-about-to-talk-it-out way. I always left feeling stupid beyond all levels of stupid when we talked it all out. It was like talking to Albus or Louis. Except those two were behaving about as immaturely as me.
Which left Scorpius.
Yippee.
“Come on, we have a free period,” he nudged me and stood.
I remained stubbornly in my seat.
“Come on,” Rose sighed, grabbing my arm and dragging me up to follow after her stupid boyfriend.
I mean, seriously, she agreed he was stupid, so why did she always side with him?
“What?” I yanked my arm from Rose’s grip as we ended up in a second floor back corridor.
“Your attitude –“
“Rose,” Scorpius shut her up.
She sent him a glare.
I glared at her.
What have I said about leaving my attitude alone?
“Just because you care does not mean you have to be rude about it,” Scorpius went on firmly.
Well, now he’s getting serious.
Sure, he loved Rose, but her way of dealing with things really pissed him off. She was too intense, while Rose thought that he was too nice about everything.
I personally felt a happy medium was necessary and the both of them were annoying prats.
“Do you have any idea –“
“Oh, please, Rose,” Scorpius rolled his eyes. “We all know. Austin may be stupid about it and Callie may find it to be a difficult situation to deal with, but we all know. You and Allison seem to have an insensitive way of –“
“Insensitive?” Rose screeched, becoming even more furious.
“Yes, insensitive,” Scorpius crossed his arms, “You may figure things out first, but did you ever think they go deeper than what you get at first glance?”
“Of course I –“
“Then why would you be so terrible about the entire situation?” Scorpius demanded.
“I’m not –“
“Yes, Rose, you are,” he told her. “You just manage to make things worse.”
“I do not –“
“Yes, you do!”
“What gives you the right to –“
“I’m sick and tired of the mess you make!” he cried. “Your attitude is the reason things like this go on so long and get so bad. You say the exact wrong things and make it all worse. –“
“That is way out of line,” Rose’s eyes narrowed furiously. Actually, she appeared hurt more than anything.
“No, actually, it’s not,” Scorpius responded, seeming equally upset about the situation they were discussing.
I actually didn’t have a clue what was going on. Seems dramatic though.
“You don’t…” he sighed and broke off, shaking his head, “I couldn’t make sense of it at first, but by the time I got it, you’d already helped make it worse.”
“I –“
“Yes, you,” he said firmly. “You and James.”
“Don’t lump my contributions with his,” Rose’s voice lowered.
“But they are the same,” Scorpius told her matter-of-factly. “Neither one of you seems to know how to properly explain what you’re trying to say, and the both of you have tempers that get in the way, and the result is your destructive contributions.”
“It’s not my fault,” Rose whispered, close to tears.
“It kind of is.”
By the time she’d turned on her heal and rushed away, tears were leaking from her eyes.
“What was that?” I demanded furiously, rounding on the prat Malfoy.
Seriously, what was wrong with him?
His eyes narrowed at me instead.
But before he said anything rude to me, he sighed and ran his fingers through his blond hair, shaking his head.
“This has just been going on for way too long,” he sighed, rubbing his temples.
“So you go and destroy my best friend?” I questioned furiously. “Rose would never purposely try to hurt anything!”
“Then why do you let her mess with you so much?” he demanded.
I frowned. “What?”
“You know she doesn’t hate you or think you’re terrible, so for the love of God, why have you convinced yourself that she does?”
“I haven’t –“
“You are being insanely difficult and your attitude is absolutely terrible,” he went on in frustration.
My eyes narrowed at him dangerously.
He ignored the fact, however. “She just misses you being a happy person; no one likes your newfound cynicism.”
There is nothing wrong with my newfound cynicism.
There really isn’t.
It’s called reality.
“And James is her brother; you can’t get angry at the fact that maybe they do talk and maybe he really does have his own logical point of view,” Scorpius reminded.
James Potter is a generally illogical person.
The prat.
“Rina,” he sent me a look as I made a face.
“What about his point of view is logical?” I crossed my arms angrily.
Everyone always took his side.
“I don’t know,” Scorpius rolled his eyes, “Maybe he actually means it when he’s trying preserve your life.”
My eyes narrowed more furiously, but I tried to keep my mouth shut. I was just about at rant stage of fury again.
If James Potter wants to preserve my life, it’s for the team, and that is incredibly selfish. Not to mention that his attempts undermine my abilities seeing as he’s trying to tell me I’m not able enough to do the things I do.
Well, guess what, prick; at least I’m not trying to jump off towers and do magic while I’m pissed out of my mind drunk.
Arsebutt.
“Liking someone doesn’t have to piss you off,” Scorpius sighed, taking in my furious expression at him.
“It’s damn annoying to have to bloody like someone who pisses you off as much as you do,” I snapped back. “The whole lot of you seriously give me a headache and complicate my life so much, I’d be better off without you, but what the hell can I do about?”
“Nothing,” he shrugged and answered simply. “That’s why it might be better if you’d just improve your attitude about it.”
I just glared at him.
Bloody Scorpius Malfoy.
What the hell was even his point?
“Just go apologize to Rose or something,” I grumbled, “I hate it when she cries.”
He smirked slightly. “It’s not so bad admitting you care, is it?”
I found my wand.
He rolled his eyes and turned back up the corridor.
Bloody arsehead.
I attempted to send a Trip Jinx at him, but bloody Malfoy is so damn perfect that those don’t work on him.
He only laughed at me without looking around, which left me to throw my wand across the corridor and shriek furiously.
The bloody blond prick pisses me of so much.
I spent the better part of my free period being furious, and by the time I’d stomped into Transfigurations, I was livid.
I glared my way through class with Louis next to me, still pretending that nothing was going on.
As soon as the bell rang, I ran to the Great Hall, and by the time the others made it down to join me, I was practically done wolfing down my lunch. Before anyone had a chance to make me any more angry, I’d left.
I found myself in the nearly empty common room and collapsed into an armchair by the window.
The storm clouds from the night before had progressed, and I knew it was much colder. Perhaps it would snow tonight.
I reveled in the possibility and found myself on the verge of smiling as my anger began to suddenly slip away.
The first snow fall of the year always calmed me; it came with the first smell of winter and the beginning of the holiday season. Life always seemed to suddenly get so much better after the first snow fall. By the end of fall, things got dreary and cold and rainy and I was ready to move on. The beginning of every season, the first day of the warm weather of spring, the first day of the flawless clear summer sky, the first orange leaf of fall, the coming first snow of the winter, always got me so excited. It was like starting over; it was different, but it was the start.
I jolted out of my relaxed thoughts when I heard sudden voices.
The common room had been generally quiet, but I looked around towards the boys’ staircase to find James and Fred emerging, seeming to be in the middle of an argument.
Everyone today, seriously.
“Don’t tell me what to do, Fred,” James was warning him. “You don’t know everything.”
“I know more than you!” he shot back. “If you actually cared, at all –“
“I don’t care, though,” he reminded. “I think you are exaggerating and I find it to be particularly aggravating.”
“You’re aggravated?” Fred’s eye became furious. “Bloody hell, James –“
“Shut up,” his eyes seemed to catch mine.
Fred turned to see me as well, and then again opened his mouth, but James was already headed towards me.
“Damn it, James!” he shouted after him.
James ignored him as he stood over me, obnoxiously authoritative. “If you’re late to practice tonight –“
“Another practice?” my eyes widened. “Are you fucking mental? Do you want us all to freeze? And it’s going to snow tonight and I –“
“You’re complaining about snow?” he cut me off with a raised eyebrow. “You, who begged to play sick in the middle of a rainstorm?”
“I’m not complaining,” my eyes narrowed. “I just don’t want to practice tonight. I w – “
“You never want to practice, so that’s nothing new,” James shot back. “It doesn’t change that you have to –“
“I don’t want to practice because I want to enjoy the first snow of the season,” I informed him through my fury. The bloody git had no right to tell me I had to do anything.
“You can enjoy it at practice,” James told me simply before turning and marching out of the room.
I stared after him furiously. Fuck being in love with him. The bloody stuck-up prick could go to hell.
As my eyes flickered over him, Fred shook his head, and still seeming angry, followed after his cousin.
I spent all of lunch in the common room in a state of rage.
I didn’t know what to do with myself or what was going on, and I so desperately wanted the insanity of my life to end.
If only.
I sat through three classes without paying an ounce of attention to anything, and then I bolted back to my dormitory without saying a word to anyone.
I stood by my bed for a moment before looking down to where I kept my broom, only to find that it wasn’t there.
I had a sudden flash of a memory from the day before of myself kicking that broom under my bed.
For a moment, I considered getting down and fishing it out, but I didn’t.
Instead, my eyes stared at my window.
The very same window James had fallen passed last week.
The fall he barely came out of alive.
Another flash of James and the rest of the team zooming around hundreds of feet in the air came to my mind.
I shook my head and turned back out of the dormitory.
I stepped out of the common room and made my way to the entrance hall.
The fact that I didn’t even have a sweater didn’t register with me as the icy wind lashed at my bare skin as I made my way down to the Quidditch pitch.
I stepped into the Gryffindor changing rooms, not exactly registering the warmth, as James turned.
Everyone else was there already, and James seemed shocked that I was on time.
I opened my mouth before he opened his, however. “I quit.”
James blinked. “Excuse me?”
“I quit the team,” I repeated. “I don’t want to play Quidditch anymore.”
James stared at me. Yes, I’d quit quite a few times, but he didn’t ever believe me and I didn’t ever believe me. Not before.
“You want to leave your team stranded and without a Chaser for your own selfish reasons?” James questioned, raising an eyebrow.
It was my turn to blink at him.
He knew I wouldn’t do that, and so did I.
I met his eyes, and maybe he was right. Maybe I had no reason to quit. I could get on my broom and play Quidditch. I could.
I was just considering the possibility when James moved to push hair from his eyes. His fingers brushed against the terrible scar down the side of his face, and my eyes glued to it.
Suddenly, the side of his face flashed red, covered in blood. He was pale and he wasn’t conscious and my vision was going cloudy.
I shook my head quickly, a shiver running down my spine as I followed the length of that scar with my eyes.
“Ara?” The anger in his eyes was pushed to the side; he seemed worried.
He’d watched me change my mind, and he was watching me now in fear of the decision I’d made.
I shook my head again and stepped back, away from him.
I couldn’t do it.
“I quit,” I told him. “I quit.”
I figured it probably was cold out as I escaped, and I figured I’d probably left James furious and Callie and Louis worried and Fred, Allison, and Austin yelling, but I ran.
I burst back into my dormitory, shaking and looked around to meet Rose’s eyes.
She dropped her quill and shoved her book and essay aside, looking me over instead. “What happened? Why aren’t you at practice?”
“I quit,” I told her.
Bloody hell, I quit.
Rose’s eyes widened. “Rina.”
“I can’t do it,” I confessed, my mind going fuzzy again.
I found myself on her bed next to her, clinging to her as she hugged me tightly, my face buried in her shoulder.
I quit because I can’t do it.
The changing rooms were probably exploding and Gryffindor house was going to be furious.
But I can’t do it.
I should’ve never been made a Gryffindor.
I fell asleep there on Rose’s bed with her rubbing soothing circles on my back.
And I didn’t sleep well either.
I jolted awake shaking and covered in a cold sweat. Looking up, I found Rose’s concerned eyes staring back down at me, my head on a pillow in her lap.
I shook my head and sat up, looking away from her.
“Rina,” Rose spoke carefully.
It was dark outside now and I realized I was hungry. My eyes flickered over to the clock that read 7:30. Still dinner.
“Rina,” Rose spoke again.
I turned to meet her eyes and sighed.
Scorpius was right.
Rose looked dead scared and so worried, and she never ever meant to hurt my feelings. She was just worried and that’s how she did it; first she yelled, and then she got scared.
“I’m alright,” I attempted to assure her. “I am.”
“You quit.”
I nodded.
I did.
I quit.
Because I can’t do it.
“I’ll be okay,” I said again, “I just…”
“It’s alright, you know, Rina,” Rose touched my arm gently.
I nodded.
Maybe.
But Callie didn’t quit and Allison didn’t quit.
I did.
Callie was scared and Allison remembered, but neither one of them quit.
They could do it.
I can’t.
“I know what you’re thinking Rina,” Rose said, “But that’s not the way things work.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Neither one of them had to race against time to save his life,” she reminded, “We didn’t realize what was happening until you came back. Neither one of theirs’ last flight on a broom was filled with that urgency to save his life; no one’s life depended on their last time on a broom.”
A life depending on a girl on a broom.
I shuddered.
“Neither one of them have dived for anything more than a ball. You dived for a body and that dive must have been the longest, most terrifying dive.”
It was.
“The length of a dive reminds you how far you are from the ground and how…dead…anyone would be if they fell.”
I looked into her understanding eyes as her deep brown orbs sparked back at me. “I never realized how long a night was until I stayed up all night in a hospital praying that my dad wouldn’t die,” she confessed softly with tears in her eyes. “Now every night is eight hours in which people could be dying.”
I hugged her tightly, closing my eyes. She was right; until seeing the bad side of something, everything was good.
Every body on a broom is hanging by a thread, and at any moment, they could slip and I know how far that fall is. I can’t watch people I care about that close to death.
I can’t do it.
“You’ll be alright, Rina,” Rose pulled back and promised. “Everything has a bad side, but that doesn’t make it bad.”
No, flying was thrilling and Quidditch was fun.
But I can’t do it.
“You need to eat,” she jumped off the bed and grabbed my arm, pulling me up.
I got up numbly.
“Here,” she threw a sweater at me.
I pulled it on and slipped on some shoes as she grabbed my arm again.
What’s done is done, I suppose.
I’m a pathetic Gryffindor and I quit Quidditch. It’d be alright.
Rose dragged me with her from the room, but halfway down, the shouting reached our ears.
Rose’s eyes widened at the sight in the common room as she turned back to me at the top of the first landing.
“ – is your fault! It’s always your fault!”
“Nothing is ever my bloody fault! I’m not the stupidly stubborn one with petty grudges!”
“You don’t know anything!” Fred roared through the room. “You think I’m exaggerating? Do you think they’re exaggerating? Do you think Callie’s just stupid and Austin’s taking time off from his everything’s-great persona just for the hell of it? Do you honestly think that everyone’s bloody stepping out of character for an exaggeration? Do you realize how stupid you are?”
“Fred –“
“Allison’s right; it’s all your bloody fault!”
“This is her being selfish –“
“Shut up, James!”
Rose began tugging on my arm to pull me back up, but I didn’t move as Lily went on. I’m stubborn, remember.
“All of you shut up! You aren’t helping matters –“
“We’re trying!” Albus shouted in exasperation. “He won’t listen!”
“He’s such a bloody prick –“
“No one will listen if you keep shouting like this!” Molly cut Fred off again.
“He won’t ever bloody listen!” he shouted again. “he won’t stop blaming –“
“I’m the one trying to shove off blame?” James cried. “I –“
“You always think you’re fucking right!” Callie shrieked. “You’re a terrible Captain, you don’t listen to anyone, and you just don’t care. Stop yelling at Fred and Austin and Allison and Louis just because they do care.”
“I have the likes of you lot on my team and you’re calling me a bad Captain?” he rounded on her furiously.
“Don’t you dare yell at her,” Austin cut him off, “She’s bloody right.”
“What, you want some sort of mutiny to overthrow me?” James demanded. “You that desperate to get her back?”
“Bloody hell the only thing anyone wants is to get her back,” Scorpius told him from across the room in a low voice. “And, yes, I am desperate.”
“And no, James,” Louis added, “she won’t come back to the team if you’re gone. Not everything is about you.”
“She’s a bloody selfish bitch that can’t –“
There was a bang as James was shot into a wall.
“What are you doing?” Roxanne rounded on her brother, snatching his wand from his hand as Fred stood there seething.
Lily pulled her own wand out and disarmed James, Louis, Albus and Allison as well. “This is getting too far. For the love of God, James, just stop it.”
“Me?” He was on his feet now and reaching new levels of fury.
“Yes, you!” Allison cried. “You won’t bloody listen! Stop bloody pretending you know everything! Don’t blame Rina for quitting; you don’t know anything!”
“I don’t know about her petty grudges?” he questioned, glowering at her. “I don’t know that her life’s goal is to spite me and she thinks she’s some sort of Goddess and I should do as she says? She hasn’t accepted that I’m the Captain and I –“
“This has fucking nothing to do with your coveted Captainship!” Allison cried. “That’s the point! Rina’s quitting and it has nothing to do with you or anyone else!”
“Her little rebellion is selfish and –“
“Stop saying that!” Fred roared furiously.
“What, that you’re precious Arabella Zar is a selfish bitch?” James raised an eyebrow. “She is –“
“Albus!” Lily screamed as he launched across the room and punched James clean in the face.
Roxanne pointed Fred’s own wand at him and froze him before he could follow suit and Molly did the same to Austin while Scorpius grabbed Allison’s arm.
Lily shoved Albus away from their brother, eyes flashing. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Are you stupid?” he glared down at her.
“Don’t you dare Albus Severus,” she warned furiously. “I’m angry too, but you guys are going much too far.”
“No one’s going too far,” Allison snapped. “The bloody prick should go jump off the tower.”
There was silence in the room as all eyes flashed over to her. The room seemed to hold its breath as half the house, those who had remained sober, remembered the events of the party.
“Don’t say that!” tiny Lucy Weasley cried with tears in her eyes. “You can yell at him; he’s a prick, but don’t –“
Louis placed a hand on her shoulder, pulling her closer as she began to cry.
“Are you done yet?” Lily rounded on Albus again.
“Fred,” Roxanne sent him a look as he opened his mouth.
“I think you and Molly were wrong,” he told her, “I don’t care what would happen if someone told.”
“Stop it!” Callie stopped him, “This isn’t even the point!”
“It is the point though!” Allison cried. “He wants to know why Rina would quit; I’ll bloody tell you –“
“No, you won’t!” Molly rounded on her.
“What the fuck –“
“Shut up; it has nothing to do with you,” Roxanne rounded on James.
“It sure as hell sounds like it does!” he shouted back, wiping blood from his broken nose.
“It isn’t important,” Molly snapped at him.
“What’s important,” Lily round on the rest of the room, “is that you’ve said enough to each other. Just stop it.”
“What’s the point of that?” Austin spoke up suddenly. “He walks away still a smartarse that thinks he knows everything and we go back to the devastation he leaves behind.”
“For the love of God, I never said I knew everything!” James cried, “I came in here and told them what I know, and you lot started bloody attacking me!”
“We told you that you were wrong; you just didn’t want to believe it,” Callie told him. “We told you that the reason for Rina’s quitting had nothing to do with her feelings about you or your Captaining tendency. It has nothing to do with any point to prove to anyone, it has nothing to do with anyone’s ego, and it has nothing to do with spiting anyone. We told you it was a separate matter entirely, but unless you get to get in on her business, you’re right. Just because no one tells you the reason doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist.”
“If I’m the one responsible for this ‘devastation,’” his eyes flickered over to Austin, “then I must know what’s going on. Unless you can –“
“That’s the point!” Allison cried. “You don’t know and that’s exactly why it’s happening!”
“Then how is it my fault?” he demanded.
“Because you won’t listen!” Callie reminded him. “I’ve tried a thousand times to make you stop, but you won’t listen to me! You just go around making things worse!”
“You can’t tell me her quitting doesn’t have to do with me and then tell me that the unknown reason for her quitting is my fault!” James cried in frustration.
“It is –“
“Stop it!” Rose shrieked from the top of the staircase introducing our presence. “It has nothing to do with any of it, and you know it! Rina’s quitting has nothing to do with James being a prick or Callie failing in stopping him being a prick. It has nothing to do with her stubbornness or her fury. It has to do with Quidditch. If she doesn’t want to play, she won’t play. That’s it. Just stop!”
“How long have you been there?” Albus demanded, eyes landing on me.
“Long enough for you to leave behind devastation,” Rose snapped in response.
It was only when she grabbed my arm and pulled me down the stairs that I realized I was shaking.
My eyes met Scorpius’s by the portrait hole, and that’s when I realized his point.
It was all my fault.
A/N: I'm posting this in a rush becuase my family's getting impatient with me, but I'd love to hear what you all think of the drama! I think this is the climax of this phase of the story. Next is a conclusion, transition to filler, filler plot, and than transition back and we'll see where it goes!
I'm sure James made you all mad too, but Weasleys are great! Prepare for Rina's moods in the next chapter though!
I know the quitting was intense, but how many people saw it coming? I think it's huge to Rina's character, and the plot as well, considering the fighting and everything.
'Kay, gotta go; review!
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize doesn't belong to me
Chapter 8: Broken
My life is officially fucked.
James, who’s always hated me, is extra pissed at me for quitting.
The rest of Gryffindor House equally despises me for quitting since James’s tryouts turned out ridiculous failures.
Slytherin House has been ecstatic about my quitting, as have the Ravenclaws.
And, to top it off, I provided the foundation for the biggest fight in history of fights, tearing apart the Weasley family with my patheticness, by quitting Quidditch.
Notice how it all has to do with me quitting Quidditch.
I’d rejoin, but I can’t do it. I can’t get on a broom or go to the pitch or watch people flying on those stupid brooms on that stupid pitch I loved so much.
I should’ve never been made a Gryffindor; I’m pathetic.
I looked away from the three third year girls glaring at me from the other end of the common room, trying to make it not bother me.
It didn’t work.
I’m pathetic.
And I definitely don’t belong in this house.
“Rina,” Louis spoke quietly from next to me.
I didn’t turn to face him, but he pulled me towards him anyways, wrapping his rather large arms tightly around me as I landed on his lap.
I sighed and gave up, letting my head fall against his chest and closed my eyes.
“It’s alright, Rina,” Albus spoke from the right.
I shook my head into Louis’s chest.
I couldn’t even look at Al.
He wasn’t talking to James.
He wouldn’t so much as acknowledge his brother’s existence.
Because of me.
Always because of me.
Because I’m stupid and selfish and can’t suck it up for those who deserve for me to care.
I care, I really do.
But I can’t manifest it. I can’t act on it.
I just hurt them, break them, and rip everything apart.
“Rina.”
He hadn’t spoken to his brother in two weeks.
And it was my fault.
“Happy thoughts!” Austin exclaimed suddenly, startling me.
I jumped slightly, but then sighed and settled back into Louis’s lap.
“You get to go home and see your brother tomorrow!” he went on.
I squeezed my eyes shut tighter.
Jacob tried to make the holidays fun, really, he did.
But the fact remained that they were the anniversary of my parents’ death and he hadn’t so much as had confirmation of his twin sister’s remaining existence in a full two years.
Because of me.
Because it’s what I do; I rip families apart.
Ever since the beginning when I took up all of dad’s attention and Julianne began to resent him for it. Ever since Jacob realized he liked having a younger sister and gave me some of Julianne’s attention.
And now Albus won’t talk to James and Lily won’t talk to either of them and Fred fights with James everyday and Roxanne and Molly are always yelling at them all and Louis is always glaring at James and Rose can’t stand the sight of him and Hugo informs James he’s a prat every day and Lucy can’t stand any of it and the Weasleys’ rock solid bond has ripped apart.
Because of me.
“Bet Jacob can’t wait to see you,” Austin was still talking.
I snorted at that. “Sure.”
“He loves you, Rina,” Callie spoke softly. “You’re his sister.”
I lifted my head to meet her gaze. “I’m his half-sister,” I reminded. “Julianne is his real sister, his twin sister. He hasn’t spoken to her in two years. Because of me.”
“Rina it isn’t because –“
“Yes it is!” I suddenly shrieked, rounding on Rose. “Yes it is! It’s what I do!”
“R –“
“I rip families apart and ruin everyone’s lives because I’m a cold, selfish bitch!”
Rose just stared at me, wide-eyed. She looked shocked.
I hadn’t yelled in a while.
“Rina, you aren’t –“
“Yes, I am!” I shouted to Louis, leaping away from him and gathering myself at the other end of the sofa. “I am! I’m horrendous!”
“No one thinks that, Rina,” Allison spoke sternly, as if she were right.
Stupid.
“Julianne thinks so and James thinks so and as a result, I’ve taken their families from them!” I cried. “There’s a reason people can’t stand me!”
Scorpius pulled me down into his lap, tightening his hold on me as I tried to get up.
What was his problem?
“Arabella.”
I closed my eyes. They used my real name, my full name, on me like they were my parents.
“Shut up,” I spoke weakly, suddenly realizing I didn’t have any energy.
Callie pulled me from Scorpius’s grip and grabbed his and Austin’s arms, pulling them up. “It’s bed time,” she said her eyes on Allison.
I heard them get up and leave, but my face remained buried in my knees, my arms wrapped tightly around my legs. It was a few minutes before I realized I was alone with three Weasley’s whose lives I’d ruined.
I shuddered.
Rose crawled over to me, setting a gentle hand on my arm.
I shrunk away from her.
“Rina.”
It was probably his voice, the way he said my name, that made me look up at Albus. His expression was as if everything had suddenly fallen into place.
Except it hadn’t. Everything was completely fucked.
“Rina, you know I love you,” Albus spoke again as if he meant it. “You’re one of my best friends, and ever since first and second year when I missed Lily and you reminded me so much of her, you’ve been like my sister. I love you and it’s not your fault. It’s because I love you, Rina.”
I couldn’t look at him.
“Siblings sometimes take sides,” Rose explained softly, “when one of us is wrong and the other one needs us.”
Louis had climbed down to sit next to me and put his arms around me again.
“James was your brother first,” I whispered.
“He’s also stupid,” Albus reminded. “You wouldn’t expect me to take James’s side over Lily’s if he hurt her because I knew him first.”
“You couldn’t possibly think we hate you, Rina,” Louis pulled me closer again. “It couldn’t happen.”
“But I’m terrible,” I glanced around to Albus, almost hoping to see agreement. It would make me feel better.
“Not even close, Rina,” he said, however.
I didn’t believe him.
“Forget me, Rina,” Rose smiled slightly, “but these two would still think you’re their sweet baby sister if you went and slit their throats.”
“I’m not sweet,” I said softly.
“Oh, please, Rina,” Louis snorted. “James is an absolute arse and managed to successfully break you and we idiots can’t keep off our broomsticks while everyone else is behaving childishly as if you didn’t have the right to make your own decisions, and here you are feeling guilty about our fight with James.”
“Because it’s my fault,” I reminded.
“It’s James’s fault, actually,” Rose corrected. “He won’t listen. He’s got a bloody stick up his arse and can’t get over his huge head long enough to realize he doesn’t know shit and it’s all his fault.”
I shuddered, shrinking closer to Louis. “Please make up with him.”
As my eyes landed on Albus, I noticed that his green eyes were hard and focused beyond me. I knew who he was looking at. For the first time in two weeks.
“He’s your brother,” I said softly.
“He’s an arse.” Albus formed the words slowly, clearly, and I knew James had been able to make out the formations of his lips when I saw the hint of satisfaction in Albus’s eyes.
“You have to make up with him,” I repeated.
“No,” he said, “I don’t.”
“It’s Christmas!” I was shouting again. “You can’t fight with your brother during Christmas!”
Albus’s eyes had narrowed furiously, but then they returned to me. “Sure I can,” he told me simply before climbing to his feet and marching off to his dorm.
I stared hopelessly after him, suddenly feeling a strange sense of déjà vu.
It was just like Jacob.
Julianne refused to see me, and Jacob refused to see her unless she spoke to me.
And she wouldn’t, so Jacob didn’t invite her to Christmas, and I begged him to make up with her. I told him he couldn’t have Christmas dinner without her. They’d done Christmas together since before they were born! They were always together, ever since the bloody womb! He couldn’t have Christmas without his sister.
“Sure I can.”
He never saw her again.
She was gone.
I was crying. I only realized when I saw Rose’s red hair as she marched by as a blur.
“This is getting ridiculous,” she stated.
I blinked, clearing my eyes of tears slightly as Louis held me closer. I watched Rose as she swiped a single tear from her check and narrowed her eyes the same way Albus had.
I didn’t watch as she walked away, and I closed my eyes, dropping my head back onto Louis’s shoulder as I heard her voice a few minutes later.
“You will not glare, Albus Potter,” she scolded sternly. “And neither will you,” she added.
Louis’s hand moved up and down my arm soothingly as I pulled myself closer to him.
“What do you want, Rose?” James’s voice sighed exasperatedly.
“Albus would like to say something to you, and so would I,” she answered simply.
“I have nothing to say,” Albus grumbled.
I shuddered.
“Oh, for the love of God, Al!” Rose cried, “Or at least for Rina will you stop it? You’re only helping to reinforce that ridiculous idea in her head!”
Now they’re fighting.
Just because I’m pathetic.
Fantastic.
“We’re Weasleys, Bells,” Louis assured me softly, “We always make up.”
I wasn’t so sure.
“Shut up you lot!” Louis shouted suddenly.
I jumped.
“I forgive you, James, for pissing me off, and I’m sorry if you disagree with me. You can think whatever the hell you want; it isn’t really all that important anymore.”
“Yes, it is!” Albus argued.
I held my breath.
“No, it isn’t Al,” Louis sighed. “What’s important is that we don’t make anything worse. Can you take her to bed, Rose?”
I hugged Louis tight as Rose took my arm gently.
“Thank you,” I told him.
He just smiled and winked as Rose led me away.
“Did he mean it?” I asked her as we made our way up the stairs.
“Louis doesn’t hold grudges,” she answered. “He still isn’t happy with James, but he won’t bother to be mad at him if it hurts you.”
I looked over to her as we stepped into our dormitory, and she followed me to my bed, sitting down next to me.
“He misses her,” I told her. “Julie was never a bad person, and Jake loves her and he misses having her around. She always made him laugh, and he always ran to her when he needed help with Sophie. Did you know she helping him pick out the engagement ring?” I smiled slightly at the memory of him raving about it. “He was completely frantic and clueless. Julie and Sophie planned the entire wedding because Jake was an incompetent guy and knew shit and Sophie needed help. She wanted to name their daughter Christy, and she was supposed to be her Godmother, but she disappeared a month before she was born, and Jake missed her and named her Julie after his sister who he never saw again. And now he resents me because he thought she’d come back and she didn’t.”
“He doesn’t hate you,” Rose attempted to assure me softly.
“James will be hurt and upset that you picked that selfish brat over him, and he’ll go away and you’ll think he’s coming back, but he won’t, and you’ll hate me too.”
“We couldn’t hate you, Rina,” Rose repeated, running her fingers through my hair. “And James isn’t a complete idiot.”
“That’s what he thought,” I reminded her.
“I promise you, Rina.”
I looked at her.
They would break that promise.
~*~
I felt helpless as I stared.
Albus and James were blatantly ignoring each other, Lily was glaring furiously at the both of them, Ginny Potter appeared shocked, and Harry Potter seemed so…lost. I knew that, more than anything, his kids’ friendship was so important to him; it was his family.
I am such a terrible person.
Rose was sending me a sympathetic look, shaking her head as Hugo, rather tactlessly, informed his mother, when she asked about his term, that James was a prat and he would not be speaking with him again.
“Come on,” Austin gently pulled me through the barrier to the muggle world. “They’ll be fine,” he insisted as he continued to drag me along.
I didn’t respond.
They probably wouldn’t be.
“There’s your brother,” Austin spoke again, guiding me towards him.
I didn’t look up.
“Rina?”
Jacob sounded confused.
After all, last time, I’d greeted him with cynical sarcasm.
Now I had tears on my face.
Damn it all.
“What happened?” Sophia seemed to feel the need to sound concerned.
“It’s…uh, a bit of a story,” Austin answered rather uncomfortably. He knew that Jacob generally didn’t like it when I was upset.
“Is it now?”
“Yeah,” Austin was nodding now. “She’s being a tad bit dramatic maybe…”
I snorted.
“You are Rina,” he sent me a look. “It’s James and Albus; they’ll be fine.”
Doubtful.
“They’re not just brothers, Rina; they’re best friends.”
Jake and Julie were best friends.
“Rina.”
“Just go home, Austin!” I snapped at him. I was sick and tired of people ignoring the blatant truth.
He crossed his arms at me. “Well, merry Christmas then,” he rolled his eyes at me, “I know I’ll just be having a jolly good time.”
The cold sarcasm in his voice made even the usage of the word “jolly” sound hateful.
“You know, it’s just what I wanted for Christmas, Rina,” he went on in the same tone, “a best friend in tears.”
“And all I wanted for Christmas was a best friend and a brother that refused to talk to their siblings and for my parents to die,” I snapped back.
Perhaps if I’d looked around to Jacob, I would’ve realized exactly what a bitch I was being, but I figured I had a pretty good idea all the same.
I couldn’t exactly bring myself to care, either.
I guess some things never change, then.
Wonderful.
~*~
Jacob spent holiday break being upset with me.
He seemed to find my living in my bedroom to be ridiculous and immature.
I saw no problem with distancing myself from people whose moods I would otherwise ruin.
He’s just an idiot that didn’t realize my level of consideration.
It was Christmas morning when Julie managed to escape her parents and came bouncing into my room.
“Ri-ri!” she squealed, bouncing on my bed. “Chis’mas!”
I blinked as I sat up, looking at her face.
She was small, blonde and adorable. She had little dimples showing as she smiled hugely at me, tiny little teeth sparkling. Her candy cane pajamas were askew, her messy hair even worse, and she appeared ecstatic to be beaming up at me as she bounced on my legs.
“Pancake!” she added to me delightedly.
“Pancakes?” I raised an eyebrow.
Damn, this little girl knew me better than anyone else.
She squealed again as I suddenly grinned at her and scooped her up in my arms, carrying her out of the room as she giggled loudly and shrieked when I threw her onto the couch.
“Where are they?” I demanded.
Julie giggled a bit more as she bounced on the couch and pointed towards the kitchen.
“Would you look at that?” Sophie raised a curious eyebrow at her daughter as she emerged from the kitchen, “She actually doesn’t dislike you. Imagine that.”
I blinked at her. And then I was suddenly scowling again.
Imagine a Weasley Christmas with them all hating each other.
“Maybe you should try to keep out of their lives and enjoy yours instead,” Sophie suggest, observing me carefully. “Everyone has some level of idiocy in them, but the only way to work it out is for them to get over it themselves.”
Even when you’re the cause?
“Chocolate chips, right?” Sophia checked, turning back to the kitchen.
“Choc’ate!” Julie screeched, hopping off the sofa and racing after her mother.
I couldn’t help it.
I followed.
It was chocolate, after all.
I sat at the table and watched Sophie flip a pancake, Julie sat across from me, fork in hand and syrup within reach; she was practically drooling as she stared at the pancake.
“Rina,” Sophie spoke after a moment. She placed the pancake on a plate and set the plate in front of Julie (who attacked it with syrup), before looking up at me. “You wanna know what I think?”
“No.”
“I think,” she ignored me, causing me to scowl, “that you’re a hypocrite.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“What gives you the right to even offer to sacrifice a friend or your happiness if you won’t allow anyone to do the same for you?” she questioned. “You know the whole thing works both ways; you’re supposed to let people love you back.”
“Unless you’re so epically selfish that you don’t deserve it,” I found myself mumbling to the table.
“Anyone that loves deserves to be loved back times ten,” Sophie said, turning back to the stove and picking her spatula back up. “Will you get her some milk?”
I blinked at the back of her head for a moment, and then turned my gaze to Julie, who now had syrup on her face. I sighed and stood, pouring a glass of milk and setting it down in front of the little blonde, who yanked it up and gulped it down.
“Mo’!” she held the empty cup out to me.
I offered her a dramatic sigh before refilling it, and then pouring myself one as well.
By the time I’d sat back down at the table, Sophie was setting pancakes in front of me, and I found myself suddenly not caring that she was pissing me off; she made me chocolate chip pancakes.
‘Nuff said.
“’Morning.”
I turned, fork in my mouth, as Jacob walked into the kitchen. I blinked at him until he raised an eyebrow at me.
“You pulling that thing out of your mouth anytime soon?” he inquired, lips twitching in amusement.
He was Jacob and I was a hypocritical freak, so that’s all it took, and I abandoned my fork and pancakes and instead leapt at him, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck.
He laughed in my ear as he held me tight. “Clearly, I’ve passed my gift on to my daughter.”
I looked down at her, now tugging on her father’s pants in hope of a hug of her own, as Jake set me down. He was right; I couldn’t be in a bad mood with the two of them around, even if Jake had epically pissed me off.
But it was Christmas and he’d been right; I’m not forcing myself on anyone if they actually want me around. That’s the thing thought; sometimes, with people so obviously wanting me to go away, the distinctions blur together. It was a problem, I suppose.
“Where’s my food?” he questioned, setting Julie back in her chair and handing her fork back to her.
She giggled and pointed to Sophie’s back before shoving more pancake into her mouth.
Jake raised an eyebrow as he sat next to her. “Do you want to share while I wait.”
“No!” she shook her head, voice mumbled as she tried to talk with her mouth full.
“Swallow before you speak please,” Sophie sent her a look as she handed Jake his plate.
I handed him the syrup as she turned back to the stove, exchange looks with him as I did so. He grinned, and I grinned back, rolling my eyes at the smirk he was sending me.
Alright, so fine, maybe improving my attitude, for the time being, wasn’t so difficult.
We’d see about his smirk if my attitude remained improved.
~*~
Jacob is a prick.
A real huge prick.
He was still smirking at me by New Year’s.
But come on, seriously, how was I supposed to not improve my attitude around little Julie? I couldn’t help it.
Just because I managed to smile and laugh with the little girl for a week didn’t mean that my attitude was going to stay like that.
I mean, sure, Austin’s letters were funny and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at Scorpius’s detailing of his father’s behavior, but the two of them would be annoying prats as soon as we got back to school as well, and that would mean that my attitude would, once again, take a dip.
Especially if the Weasleys were still fighting.
And I knew they were because every time they wrote, they neglected to mention anyone they were upset with. Albus wouldn’t even mention Louis anymore because he was annoyed at him for forgiving James, which consequently led to Rose becoming annoyed at him.
Only Louis was alright with dealing with everyone, but even though he did mention them all, he was careful not to mention anything involving the arguing parties, which was a direct contrast to previous years when he would be writing me about Fred and James’s pranks or Albus and Rose fighting over Scorpius as if he were a plaything. Louis’s letters made it more obvious than anything else did that things still weren’t right.
And that would probably impact my attitude a bit when I was no longer around Julie.
“You know, I don’t even know what you’re friends are fighting about that has you so upset.”
I looked away from the window and turned to Jake instead as he sat down next to me on the sofa. Sophie had just taken Julie away to put her down for her nap, leaving me to contemplate how bad the situation with the Weasleys could be. We were going back to Hogwarts in three days, and then I’d get to see for myself.
I looked up to Jake as he looked back down at me inquiringly.
“Well,” I sighed, “Like Austin said, it’s a bit of a story.”
“Yeah?” Jake raised an eyebrow.
I nodded, and he stood, disappearing into the kitchen. He returned a moment later with the leftover New Year’s cake and two forks. “Tell me,” he handed me a fork.
I took it and dug it into the cake before replying.
“Last year, Austin invented a game,” I began, “when he was drunk.”
“Oh, God, I did that once,” Jake began shaking his head.
“Did it involve jumping off a tower?”
Jake raised an eyebrow.
“They jump and then they see who can go the longest before they summon their brooms,” I explained. “Summoning Charms are difficult, and they require precision and memory and visualization and a whole lot of mental capabilities. You have to know what you’re summoning and where it is and how far it is and where you are and everything has to be exact. How much mental capability do you have when you’re drunk?”
“None,” he answered immediately. “They can manage this?”
I nodded. “Just barely. Magic is insanely difficult when you’re sober; I don’t even like thinking of people attempting it drunk. Things can go wrong if it’s not done right.”
“So, where does the fighting come in?” Jake asked after a moment of silent eating.
I pulled my fork out of my mouth and sighed, looking up at him. “It’s just really scary to watch them, but I’m never that drunk, and I have my wand, and James never drank and he always had his wand ready in case something went wrong. There were never any incidents before, except for the last time.”
“Did someone get hurt?”
I nodded. “We won our Quidditch match, so we had a party, but I was sick, so I stayed in bed. I’m still not exactly sure what made me get up and go out to the roof, but when I got there, they were all playing, all lined up on the ledge and jumping off. It would’ve been the same as usual and I would’ve counted on James to act if anything went wrong, because I trusted him, and he’s great at magic, except he wasn’t standing there with his wand. He was drunk and he was playing. I think he was trying to get his mind off of the other team’s captain who managed to rile him up, but I didn’t even have my wand and everyone else was either drunk and egging them on or hysterical and not as magically capable.
“In the end, I just had that feeling that something wasn’t right when James didn’t summon his broom, so I went jumping off after him. He’d passed out, and he has this terrible scar on him face, and I just barely got him,” my voice grew quiet as I looked back at Jake. “It was scary,” I admitted. “I never really considered heights before, but…” I trailed off with a shudder, looking back at the cake.
“So they’re fighting because…”
“I quit Quidditch,” I admitted, looking back up at him.
Jake frowned slightly. “I thought you loved Quidditch.”
“We fly around on broomsticks hundreds of feet in the air!” I shrieked, turning back to him.
Jake looked at me for a moment and then sighed. “Heights.”
I nodded, digging my fork back into the cake dejectedly.
“James was so drunk that he didn’t remember his experience,” I went on after a moment, “And no one told him because his reaction probably wouldn’t have been too great. When I quit, he thought it was because I was trying to prove a point against him or something, like it was a protest against his captaining skills and I was being selfish and bitchy. We always fight about Quidditch because he doesn’t like some of my maneuvers, and that makes me mad. I do something tricky, he punishes me, and we yell about it; in the end, he says I’m stupid and arrogant, and I say he’s stupid and arrogant. So, obviously, when I quit, he assumed that’s what it was about; me being prideful and trying to screw him over. He doesn’t realize I’m scared.”
“So then it isn’t really his fault,” Jake pointed out carefully.
I nodded, taking another bite of cake. “Everyone else thinks I should try listening to what James has to say and he should stop being mean. When I quit the team, James came into the common room and announced that I was prideful and selfish and unable to be a team player, so I quit, and that set them all off. James thinks they’re just taking my side and that hurts him, the team thinks James should accept that he’s wrong and my quitting has nothing to do with him, and everyone else is mad at them for fighting and upset with each other for how they’re treating me or James or everyone else. They all hate each other.”
I felt Jake’s eyes on me for a moment but didn’t look up from the cake.
“The guilt?” he finally questioned.
I looked us and shrugged. “It’s sort of my fault,” I admitted.
“How?” Jake sat back and crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow at him.
“If I’d just improved my attitude in the first place about James’s method, he wouldn’t think I’m out to get him!” I cried. “In the end, he’s just hurt, and I’m such a crappy friend in the first place, it’s not fair that I have to take his family away from him!”
Jake just looked at me for a moment before he set his fork down and turned back to me with a sigh. “Rina. You know, the definition of friendship is getting yourself involved in and messing with their lives the most when they least want you there.”
I looked away from him.
“You’re not the cause of the fight; you’re simply the subject,” he went on.
I turned back to raise an incredulous eyebrow in his direction.
“You didn’t tell them to fight; actually, you tried to stop them.”
“If I wasn’t a baby quitting Quidditch, they’d have no reason to fight,” I mumbled, keeping my eyes on the fork I was twirling between my fingers.
“Look,” Jake turned me back to him, “You quit for a logical reason; James is simply jumping to conclusions. Obviously, your friends’ decision is also an obvious one.”
“Obviously?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Obviously,” he nodded affirmatively.
“Jake,” I sighed.
He stopped me with a determined look as I met his eyes. “You never did anything to Julianne; she was just being bitter. So, obviously, my decision was an obvious one.”
I looked back down at my hands.
“I wasn’t about to hand you over to Grandmother and Grandfather,” he made a face (they’d always insisted they be addressed “properly,” which Jake and I found ridiculous; he actually just hated having to be forced to learn such long words at the age of one). “They’re just bitter that their set up eventually failed and you exist to prove it.”
“But it –“
“And besides,” he spoke over me, “I love you, so that’s that.”
“You love Julianne, too,” I reminded softly, looking back up to him.
“Yes,” he nodded with the same stubborn look in his eyes, “I love both my sisters, but one of them is being an illogical moron. I don’t even have anything to apologize for in the first place, so when she wants to get over it, she can apologize, and I’ll forgive her.”
“That’s a terrible attitude, Jake,” I pointed out carefully, unable to meet his eyes again.
“It isn’t actually,” he disagreed.
It was, actually.
“There’s a difference between hating someone and simply not forgiving them,” Jake said. “I’ll always love Julianne, no matter how much of an idiot she’s being, and I’ll forgive her for her idiocy when she apologizes to you.”
I looked back at my fork and couldn’t help a small smile. “You’d love me even if I went and slit your throat?”
“Still my baby sister,” he assured, pulling me into a hug.
I sighed, closing my eyes as I laid my head on his chest.
He was right, of course; the definition of friendship was pissing them off and driving them insane.
~*~
Al was proving to be a fantastic friend. So was Fred, actually.
I was about ready to chop their heads off.
That’s how pissed I was at them, and I was going so insane, I was about to scream just screw it all and jump into the Black Lake to live with the drama-free Giant Squid.
(The marks of a good friend).
I’d only been watching them glare at James for twenty seconds before they had proved themselves to be such good friends.
Only Louis was being sympathetic.
Allison was being almost as good of a friend, Rose was too busy being mad at them, Scorpius was equally busy rolling his eyes at them, Austin was still a little upset with me, and Callie was just too busy being upset.
Maybe I should just rejoin the Quidditch team; that would fix everything.
I shuddered at that and looked away, turning my attention back to dragging my trunk along. I stumbled, however, nearly fell over, and realized that I was upset again. (For the love of God, I said goodbye to Julie not even a minute ago!).
“Come on, you prats!” Lily and Roxanne dragged Albus and Fred towards the train respectively, Lily taking the time to send James a look to follow.
Molly shoved him a bit when he didn’t move, however, and Hugo led Lucy away before her quivering lip gave away to more tears.
This left Teddy, Victoire and Dominique staring after them in helpless confusion.
Dear God, I’ve literally broken the Weasleys.
“They tried to get all of us together at Teddy and Tori’s for the weekend to fix things, but it didn’t work,” Louis told me as he noticed me watching the three eldest Weasleys (Teddy was honorary, poor bastard).
“Actually, they announced their wedding and tried to make Fred, James, Albus, Louis and Hugo groomsmen together,” Rose corrected, rolling her eyes after the two Potter brothers stalking towards opposite sides of the train and blatantly ignoring Lily and Molly. “It didn’t work,” she added, turning back to me with a sigh.
“Teddy and Victoire are getting married?” my eyes widened.
Rose nodded, smiling slightly. “And it’s about time, too.”
“It’s a shame the wedding party refuses to cooperate,” Louis added as Albus stalked up to us.
“I’ll cooperate when they kick the prat out,” he stated stubbornly.
“That’s fine, Al,” Rose nodded to him, “I’m sure Teddy can get married without you.”
Albus’s eyes narrowed. “I meant –“
“Fuck off,” Rose snapped, glaring at him.
And he did leave with Allison to join Fred in a compartment where they could curse James’s very name without interference from the redhead.
I closed my eyes and pressed my finger tips to my temples. I am not going to make it through this term.
Okay, breathe.
I took a deep breath and opened my eyes again to meet Louis’s sympathetic gaze.
“Come on,” he took my hand and led me towards the train, the rest following after us.
I let him lead me into a compartment before collapsing on a seat and closing my eyes again, already exhausted at the thought of the coming months.
I had to fix this.
A/N: First of all, how do we feel about the drama at the start? For a long while, I thought Rina was too dramatic, but I eventually convinced myself that it was fine.
I know that the Holidays went ridiculously fast (I got through them in one chapter), but they're really not that big of a deal for Rina's family. I mean, her parents died, so Christmas is a quiet affair.
Julie and Sophie though? I like them, and I loved writing Jacob, too. I think his conversation with Rina was huge, sort of the beginning of her sorting things out. His last words are one of my favorite themes of this story;) The best friends are the ones that you hate.
I've been really iffy about the next few chapters, but I've finally come to a realization that kind of puts my mind to rest, at least for now.... I really want this story to flow right, and I don't know how it's going from here. I think the chapters represent the state of Rina's life, though, which is why I couldn't figure out how to write the same things differently. But this is just rambling.
LOOK HERE!
I know the AN's kind of long, but this is actually a bit important. I need help. I think I'm being overwhelmed with the amount of characters in this story. I know very well who they all are, but I'm not sure how well they've been portrayed so far in the story. I prefer indirect characterization to direct, but with so many characters, I can't keep up and still move to story along. What I need is help to decide which course of action to take. Out of the sixth years I'm focusing on, which characters do you feel are the most underdeveloped? Which ones do you get, and which one's do you not know at all? All their individual characters are essential to the plot of the story, so I need to make sure you get them all. I'm afraid some of them seem too similar or too flat, but they're all very different. I got to a point in chapter eleven, I think, where Rina sort of defines them, but I think it might help to get it indirectly as well. I've worked on it, but I think it would help to know exactly what you get out of all the characters so that I can see where I need to focus. I suppose what I'm asking is exactly what you know and how you feel about the sixth years. I'm not too worried anb Rina, but how about Allison, Rose, Callie, Albus, Scorpius, Louis, and Austin? I split the peices of Rina's life into too many people, and we need to keep them straight before I can move on in the plot.
I would really appreciate your help in figuring this out!
You know I'm desperate considering the epicness of this AN. After all, you are the readers, so you need to be able to get the story. I've sort of developed them all in my head, but I don't know how well I've done with defining them with words, so tell me!
Thanks so much in advance! I'm counting on you!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything recognizable.
Chapter 9: Blur
I didn’t know how to fix this.
They’d been fighting for over a month, and Callie reported that Quidditch practices were a nightmare, even before factoring in my idiot replacement, seventh year Ericson Lawrence.
James was furious when he realized that he was the best the house could do in terms of Chasers; Ericson was already a self-assured idiot that James did his best to avoid, and now he had to captain him.
Apparently, he was alright with following James’s plays and direction, but he always messed up. And when he messed up, he claimed that he’d done it on purpose, because “I think this way will work better.”
If this way worked better, why’d you drop the Quaffle, you dolt?
This attitude made it impossible for James to captain him, and he seemed just as furious after a practice as he did when I was on the team.
Actually, I figured he may even prefer me returning because, despite the fact that I was insanely difficult (yes, I admitted it), at least I knew what I was doing and made the goal in the end.
Currently, however, the team was in shambles. James, Fred, and Allison were always screaming at each other or ignoring each other with Allison refusing to pass to James and Fred repeatedly attempting to Bludger him. As a result, Austin was having the bust his butt trying to keep Fred from actually getting a hold of a Bludger, leaving Louis alone to try and control the shouting and completely distracted from defending the hoops. Then there was Callie, who didn’t know what to do with herself, unable to concentrate on the Snitch and always returning from practice near tears. And, just to top it off, there was Ericson, being a general prat amongst the anarchy.
And did I mention that the Slytherin match is in a week?
Yeah, we’re screwed.
And everyone knows it, too, which is why the entire house hates me. In their opinion, no matter what the problem is, I should just suck it up and rejoin the team for the sake of my house.
I snorted at the thought. Yeah right.
I was hiding up in my dorm, as per usual as of late, while Callie and Allison were suffering through another practice and Rose was off with Scorpius trying to get a break from the madness that had become our lives.
I scowled at my Charms essay, suddenly pissed at Rose for getting to be off snogging her hot boyfriend while I was stuck doing Professor Greyson’s stupid essay.
The annoyance didn’t last too long, however, because I could barely handle any emotion as of late. So, instead, I sighed and returned to mindlessly writing about Memory Charms.
I’d just finished the conclusion when the door was thrown open and Allison burst in, oddly ecstatic after practice.
“We’re not playing Slytherin!” she announced.
I blinked. “Why not?”
“Hufflepuff asked for a switch!” she went on as Callie appeared behind her, “Their Keeper is the Maid of Honor in her sister’s wedding on the day of their match, so they practically begged to switch with Slytherin. We’re playing them instead next week and Slytherin in May.”
I sighed, charming my essay dry before rolling it up. The date for the Hufflepuff match had been announced just a few days ago. Well, now it’s the Slytherin match, I suppose.
I put my essay, Charms book and quill away before looking back up to Allison. “You know, there’s always the possibility that Hufflepuff is just trying to take advantage of the fact that you suck,” I pointed out.
She narrowed her eyes at me as she dropped her broom. “Shut it.”
I shrugged. “I’m just saying, do you honestly think that you have a chance, even against Hufflepuff? They’re not bad, you know.”
“Stupid Puffers suck balls,” she grumbled, looking away.
I rolled my eyes. “They were massacring Slytherin and neck-and-neck with Ravenclaw before the opposing Seeker caught the Snitch.”
“Yeah, and we have Callie, the best damn Seeker since Harry Potter himself, so we have nothing to worry about,” Allison snapped back.
“Maybe if you lot would cool your tempers and let go of your stupid grudges,” I conceded, “but how the hell is she supposed to concentrate on the Snitch if she’s worrying about her own team killing each other?”
“She got it the last time we were all being knocked off our brooms,” she reminded. “She’ll be fine.”
I glanced over to the Seeker in question, who was at the opposite end of the room and blatantly ignoring the fact that we were talking about her.
I snorted shaking my head. Yeah, sure, they’d be fine.
~*~
I was right.
They were fine. In the sarcastic sense I’d meant it in, of course.
Gryffindor lost the match 210-20. In twenty minutes.
Yes, I know; I just about threw something when I found out.
I hadn’t gone to the match (actually watch my idiot friends doing stupid things on broomsticks?), but the moment Callie stepped into the dormitory, it was blatantly obvious.
Even before I looked at her face, it was obvious, because when we win (which we always do), there’s a party raging on the roof at least an hour before the team returns. Today, however, I hadn’t heard a single shout of victory or announcement of the score; there were no discussions about food or alcohol or music; there were no debates on outfits or James and Louis in the girls’ dormitories; there was no nothing.
Instead Callie had just walked in, looked at me, and then dropped her broom next to her bed before climbing in and pulling the hangings shut.
She was upset. I knew she was; of course she would be after losing, but there was something else.
I didn’t know if I wanted to question her, though, so I instead watched her bed in contemplation again for a while. I hated to break Callie, and she was already so close to it; I didn’t want to make her tell me, but I needed to know.
I’d been worrying about it for only a moment before Allison banged into the room and slammed the door behind her.
“Callie Alexandria Mena!” she shouted, glaring furiously at the hangings and throwing her broom at the bed.
“Allison!” I sent her a look.
She ignored me. “Get out here right now!” she instead demanded.
I looked back to Callie’s bed and saw the hangings shift slightly before she pushed them aside and stepped out.
“Just do something for me,” she asked Allison in a small, broken voice before the blonde could open her mouth again. “Stop fighting.”
Allison blinked at her, closed her mouth, and then opened it again. “I don’t think so.”
Callie’s eyes filled with tears.
“Allison,” I repeated, rounding on her. “Stop it. You’re all getting ridiculous.”
“But he –“
I sighed and closed my eyes, sitting back on my bed. “What?”
“The tower was furious at her for not getting the Snitch, and when Austin shut ‘em all up, James, felt the need to add that, once again, it was your fault! You didn’t even play!”
“Which is why it’s my fault,” I nodded, “Obviously.”
“The mature ones of us were even willing to ignore the fact that James is an idiot, but the others,” Callie sent Allison a look to which she responded by crossing her arms with a humph. “The others started another fight.”
“Allison,” I started once again.
“Oh, relax,” she rolled her eyes, stepping further into the room, “I shut them up for Callie’s sake. They’ll just brood at each other for another month.”
“And you’ll be joining them,” I added obviously.
“James is an illogical idiot!” she exploded again.
“I know,” I nodded, running my fingers through my hair and closing my eyes. “But I don’t want him to be unhappy. He misses his friends, and this isn’t worth it.”
“Oh, right,” she rolled her eyes, “It’s alright if he’s a git to you now because you’re in love with him.”
I opened my eyes again and looked at the back of her head as she returned her broom to her trunk and slammed it shut.
Maybe that was why I was so sick of everyone fighting with him; I cared about him.
Well, I always had; I knew that. James and I had been good friends for a long while, until our personalities began to clash ferociously.
I wasn’t in love with James though. I knew that much because it was ridiculous, especially considering how much we’d both changed since we’d been friends. I knew that I didn’t know him as well as I used to; not anymore. The James I’d known had always been carefree and fun-loving. He’d still been logical and the voice of reason, but not as often. But I figured that, at least for those who he didn’t hate, he was still that guy.
I suppose it wouldn’t make sense to be in love with a guy that hated me. Perhaps I’m just almost in love with the idea of the James I’d known and cared about. Back then, I’d always thought that maybe I liked him as more than a friend. And then I lost him as a friend and I began to really fall for the guy I’d known.
I am sure, however, that the James here and now that is just barely still exactly the James I’d known, that James, I like. I don’t love him, because that’d be stupid, but I have those illogical feelings for him where I want him to stop glaring at me and just smile for once. I want that look in his eyes every time he glances at Albus or Fred to go away. I want him to be happy and okay, and I want to fix whatever changed the James I’d known that liked to have a good time without a care in the world. I’m falling in like with him.
It’s probably still illogical to like a guy as much I like James when he hates me, but I can’t seem to help it.
Clearly, I’m screwed.
“What’s screwing you over?” Callie’s voice asked me.
I jumped and looked around at her. So I guess I was making that face again.
“Liking James,” I told her.
She sighed, looking down at her fingers in her lap. “At least you’re not in love with an oblivious idiot.”
I joined her on her bed and shrugged. “At least Austin doesn’t hate you.”
Allison glanced over at us and shook her head. “You like a guy that thinks he hates you, and you’re in love with a guy that thinks you’re just friends.” She shook her head at me and Callie respectively before pocketing her wand and heading for the door. “This is why I just leave it at shagging the guy and being done with it. So much easier.”
I blinked at the door as she left before turning back to meet Callie’s eyes, which seemed to share my sentiment.
Something needs to be done.
~*~
The thing with Allison is that she’s a bit of a whore.
Yes, I know she’s my best friend, but it’s true. (I’ll murder anyone else that dares to call her that, though).
At first, we didn’t even know what to think when she started sleeping around, and then we thought it was just a faze, but it’s been going on for over an year now. The sad thing is that she knows she has a reputation, and she just doesn’t care.
Austin may not seem like it, but he can put up with it, and so can Scorpius, but it makes Albus and Louis furious. Like, Louis can put up with a lot, but when it comes to Allison’s whorishness, he can’t stand it.
And Allison is oblivious, or likes to think she’s oblivious, to the fact that we actually care for her to stop sleeping around. I mean, it can’t be healthy.
Actually, Fred hadn’t always had this reputation as the guy who beats people up, but he gets pretty upset when it comes to Allison as well. Her reputation is even on the extremely tiny list of things that set James off (I’m the only other occupant of that list).
So, this would be why, when Allison, Albus, Austin and I had been sitting around the common room with Charms homework and Marcus Carrington had come by and asked Allison if she wanted to shag and she said yes, Albus snapped his quill and threw his homework into the fire.
Oblivious as always, Allison was already long gone, leaving Austin and I to glance at each other before quickly removing all other objects from Albus’s vicinity.
“You know what?” he glared at the fire before getting to his feet, “Never mind. I don’t even care anymore!”
“No, of course not,” I rolled my eyes.
“It’s perfectly cool if our Allie sets herself up for hurt,” Austin went on, grabbing Al’s arm and yanking him back down.
“She deserves so much better than that,” he glared furiously at the back of the portrait that Allison and Carrington had disappeared through.
He was completely right there, seeing as Marcus had simply sauntered up, glanced at Allison, and asked, “Shag?” before she shrugged and stood, responding with a “Sure.”
Like, seriously.
I felt the sudden urge to throw something in the fire as well. Or just throw Marcus Carrington into the fire.
Lovely.
“Throwing things at fires won’t resolve anything,” Austin reminded.
“Unless it’s Carrington that we’re throwing,” I pointed out.
“Rina,” Austin sent me a look.
Well, just look at who’s trying to be the voice of reason.
“Do you even care?” Albus glared furiously at Austin.
Austin’s eyes narrowed at that.
Oh, wonderful.
“Yes, of course I bloody well care! It’s Allison! She was my first ever friend!”
This was true; Allison and Austin had ridden in the Hogwarts Express together for the first time. And she’d always been so small and relatively innocent those first couple of years that Austin had a tendency to be ridiculously protective of her. He was just a lot cooler about it, probably because he knew her so well. He’d thrown a fit when he first learned she’d lost her virginity, but he claimed he knew how to handle it.
I suppose he was able to keep her out of trouble, at least. Albus, Louis, and Fred’s approach had a tendency to push her towards the trouble.
“Then do something about it!” Albus cried in exasperation at Austin.
“If you piss her off, she’s just going to go shag someone else,” Austin pointed out. “If that’s what you want to do about it –“
“Fuck off,” Albus snapped, getting to his feet again and stalking off towards the dormitories.
“Breathe,” I turned to Austin.
He blinked for a moment, and then sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m afraid she’s going to get hurt.”
“That makes all of us, then,” I nodded with a sigh.
“Do you really not know why she’s so –“
“No,” I shook my head. “She just stepped into the dormitory one day and announced she’d shagged a Ravenclaw, ‘can’t remember his name.’”
Austin closed his eyes and threw his head back against the sofa. “What are we going to do?”
I shrugged. “Throw her in a fire?”
He opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow at me, so I responded with another shrug.
“At least not another burden,” I pointed out.
He rolled his eyes before closing them again.
“It’s times like these when I wonder about the human race,” he spoke again after a moment.
I snorted.
“Seriously,” he opened his eyes and sat up to look back at me, “We’re kind of terrible.”
“Not all of us, though,” I reminded.
“Most of us,” he countered.
I raised an eyebrow before speaking again in a pretty damn clever kickass fashion. “You’re a pretty good guy. An oblivious idiot, but a pretty good person. Opposite end of the spectrum when compared to Carrington, at least.”
Austin’s eyes narrowed. “I’d prefer to not be referred to as being the same species as him.”
I rolled my eyes but went on with being subtly clever. “And you know sweet innocence still exists in Callie.”
Austin’s eyes softened as he grinned. “She doesn’t count; she’s out of everyone’s league exceptional.”
I smirked.
“You just say that because you like her,” I pointed out.
“And because it’s true,” he nodded. “And, seriously, who doesn’t like her? She’s bloody fantastic.”
“How did you reach that assessment?” I questioned.
“She cares about everyone, whether they deserves it or not, and that makes her better than everyone else,” he answered simply.
I snorted again and shook my head. “You should date her,” I told him only almost not teasingly.
He raised an eyebrow and scoffed at that. “Right, because I’m good enough for the likes of Callie Mena.”
Score.
“Well, she does have a relatively high tolerance for idiots,” I pointed out, “And she does generally like you.”
“You generally like me, Rina, but you’d hex me into next week if I tried to kiss you,” he said.
“Have you considered trying to kiss Callie, then?” I inquired, only slightly acting the part of a nosy and annoying friend.
He only shook his head. “Go to bed, Rina.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Goodnight, Bells,” he waved and headed for his dormitory.
“That’s a yes, Donald!” I shouted after him before settling back with a smirk.
Damn straight.
I just outcunninged a Slytherin.
I should get a medal.
~*~
Turns out Austin’s stupider than I thought he was (and I’ve made it pretty clear that I think Austin’s an idiot). He still has no idea that he likes Callie. Like, seriously, who doesn’t realize it when they like someone (don’t call me a hypocrite)?
I mean, sure, Callie’s the center of his world, but that doesn’t mean he likes her.
Idiot.
“You alright?” Louis raised an eyebrow at me as he sat down in the chair across from me in the library.
“I’d always wondered how Callie could like Austin for so long without him realizing, but now I realize that it’s because he’s an idiot,” I answered.
Louis snorted. “Now you realize?”
I narrowed my eyes briefly before glancing down at the Arithmancy essay I was supposed to be working on.
“What’s the plan?” he inquired.
I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. “I don’t know yet. How are you supposed to explain something to an idiot?”
“Have you tried ‘Austin, you like Callie?’”
I threw my quill at him. “No need to be a prick. I’m serious; they need to be together and happy already.”
Louis raised an eyebrow, a smirk creeping onto his face. “Whatever happened to good friends keeping out of their friends’ lives?”
“Hey, I’m a selfish bitch, remember?” I reminded, “I’m doing this for me. I’m getting sick of her making eyes at him. And his obliviousness is also getting to me. You know how I can’t stand it when people are stupid.”
“Right,” Louis rolled his eyes.
“What do you want?” I snapped back. “I’m busy,” I gestured to my half finished essay.
“Clearly,” Louis nodded very seriously, handing my quill back to me.
I snatched it back, sending him an annoyed look.
“I was wondering, actually,” Louis suddenly took on an actually serious expression, “Have you actually seriously considered telling James.”
I blinked, my annoyance disappearing to be replaced by dread at the mention of James. I hated to talk about him; the topic always brought up everything that’s screwed up in my life.
“Telling him what?” I asked carefully.
“About Leap of Faith,” Louis expanded.
“Why,” I frowned slightly, “I thought that everyone –“
“You know, as Weasley’s we have a tendency to blow things way out of proportion.”
I snorted at that. No kidding.
“What I mean,” he rolling his eyes, “is that maybe if James would just understand, they wouldn’t all be at each other’s throats all the time.”
I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. “Do you know why he was drunk?”
I’d been wondering for so long, and I wanted to know.
“Stress, I think,” Louis answered. “We went through hell that match, and we have so much farther to go. We proved he was right thinking we might fail, considering the last match…”
I shook my head, but didn’t comment. It had been two weeks since the Hufflepuff match, and our house still hated me for being the reason for our failure.
Arsebutts.
“There has to be more to it, though,” I insisted, pulling my thoughts from that depressing subject. Not that this one was much better…But still.
Louis sighed, shrugging. “Maybe Turner, too. What he said about you and Allison pissed him off; you know how he gets when it comes to Allie.”
I nodded, but tried to avoid that subject as well.
“Maybe he just got tired of being the responsible one,” Louis suggested. “Pressure and stuff. It’s been sucking the James out of him for a while.”
I nodded again. This was true. Ever since professional Quidditch became an option, James had been losing his mind trying to pull his life together into some semblance of control. He’d decided that he needed to control everything, or else things would get screwed up and it’d be his fault. That was a flaw he seemed to have inherited from his dad; when things went wrong, he had a tendency to blame himself.
The only time he didn’t blame himself was when I was involved; then, it was my fault.
I figured, then, that telling James what had happened that night would prove to him that things went wrong when he lost control of them. And that would give him a reason to yank everything back into a stricter order.
And for the love of Merlin, that was the last thing anyone needed.
I met Louis’s eyes again and shook my head. “It would just make things worse.”
“But everyone hates him and he’s making everyone hate you!” he cried in disagreement. “I don’t want my family fighting; I want to fix this.”
I sighed, shaking my head again and looking away from him. “So do I.”
“But then –“
“Telling him won’t do anything, Louis,” I sighed again, forcing myself to look back at him. Looking at Louis made me feel guilty. He hated to see his family fighting, and it was still somewhat my fault.
Jacob may have been right that it wasn’t my doing, but the fact remained that I hadn’t fixed things yet.
I used to be able to figure these things out. I used to be really good at mediating my friends, with help from Scorpius or Rose, of course, but we could handle things. Any of us could handle things, actually, as long as we weren’t being the problem; we did it in our own ways, but we did do it. Lately, however, I’d been losing my touch. No one wanted to listen to me anymore.
“We’ll figure it out though, right?” Louis insisted.
I met his bright blue eyes again, through the blond hair falling into them. His eyes were anxious, and his jaw was no longer set in the determination that usually fixed things.
Louis was good at getting things done, but sometimes, even he’d lose it. This was one of those times.
I almost wanted to lie to him. Telling him the truth would feel like kicking a lost puppy.
But I didn’t lie.
“I think we have to let this run its course.”
Louis’s eyes were almost begging me to take it back.
“But they’ll be okay,” I went on, trying to rid him of that look, “They have to be. You’re Weasleys.”
Louis reached across the table and took my hand with a sigh. “Thanks.”
I attempted a smile.
A/N: I know, this is short! The next few will be though, since they serve as transition. there is plot, though! You got intor to Allison, which plays out with drama, and hinting at Callie, which is a bit of fluff. The next few were interesting to write, albiet a bit difficult. I just finished chapter fourteen, though, so I'm excited for the next phase. having finished the winter, I should have everything worked out with at least through thirteen to post quickly (fingers crossed!)
Okay, so, what do we think? This chapter is told more through Rina's clear eyes a bit objectively. it gets really interesting with the next one though, to see how her mind preceives the events of this one. She's getting melodramatic, but i find it a bit sad and angsty to actually hear what's going through her mind. It's just time, I think, that causes her to develop the thoughts wiht the ideas just festering. I like the juxtaposition, though.
But, sticking with this chapter, how do we feel? I loved the end with Louis; the chapter just didn't seem quite complete without it. That was my explanation to everyone who couldn't understand why James couldn't know. I figured it was good insight into his character too, Rina revealing something that she knows about him without a foul attitude skewing things. Like I've said, he's not a bad person; he's just James. I really like him, and I'm excited to write more of him. We get a little of him in the next chapter, but than he's entirely MIA until chapter fourten, which turned out to be fun.
As fo the rest of your reviews, thanks for the character insight. I was more worried about Albus, Louis, and Scorpius, so I wrote good bits of them into the next part of hte story to distinguish them a bit. You guys, however, seemed more worried about Allison, Callie, and Austin. Since the next part is about them, however, I don't think they should be an issue, though, so that's good. Keep me posted on how you feel about hte characters, though! If anyone starts falling flat, I want to know write away!
Disclaimer: Recognizable stuff isn't mine, unfortunately
Chapter 10: Murky
“Rina?”
I glanced up briefly to Callie as she entered the dorm before flipping my hair back down to continue to drying it. “Yeah?”
“You missed dinner?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Didn’t feel like it,” I answered, running my fingers carefully through my hair, one hand positioning my wand to shoot hot air at it.
“But you missed lunch too,” Callie stepped further into the room.
“I had to finish the Charms essay,” I reminded.
“You slept through breakfast…”
“Friday means I get to sleep in,” I said, “Free first.”
“Have you eaten anything today?” Callie asked carefully.
“I had some chocolate cake in the kitchens after Charms,” I told her, flipping my hair back as I straightened up to glance back over at her.
She was looking me over with a scrutinizing expression, running her fingers though her hair. “That’s not healthy, Rina,” she said finally.
“Probably not,” I agreed, tossing my wand onto my bed and picking up a book.
“What are you doing now?” she frowned.
I raised an eyebrow at her. “Reading,” I held the book up before settling on my bed and opening it.
“You should eat something,” Callie told my seriously. “You haven’t eaten properly in a while.”
“Haven’t been hungry,” I shrugged. “I suppose when you’re not going through regular hellish practices, you don’t need as much food.”
“You still need more than a bit of cake!” Callie cried.
I looked up from the book, eyes wide; she looked a bit hysterical.
“You’ve lost too much weight and you’re always up here all alone and –“
“Well, excuse me for not wanting to venture out and be continuously glared at by my house mates,” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
“You barely even see the guys anymore!” she went on, motioning wildly with her hands. “And you only see us because you live with us! If I’m worried, you wouldn’t believe Louis and Scorpius –“
I just snorted. “They’ll be fine.”
“No they won’t be!” Callie cried. “Albus actually told me that he’d stop glaring at James if you’d come out.”
“Wonderful,” I rolled my eyes. “But I’d still prefer to not be glowered at myself.”
“Even Austin’s getting anxious and –“
“Well, if Austin cares,” I snorted, returning my attention to my book. Is it really that bad to not want to sit around with a bunch of people that hated me? I gave it a try at first, but after we lost the Hufflepuff match, I’d actually had to dodge a few hexes.
“You have to come out!” Callie cried.
“No, I don’t,” I told her.
“But this isn’t healthy!”
I’m sure it’s plenty healthy, considering the hexes.
“Rina!”
“What?” I looked back up at her in annoyance.
“Why won’t you at least come eat?” she demanded. “You haven’t stepped foot in the Great Hall in over two weeks!”
“Because the last time I did, The Slytherins and Ravenclaws began applauding, the Hufflepuffs thanked me for quitting, and the Gryffindors tried to kill me,” I reminded her simply.
“No one tried to kill you –“
“I’m pretty sure I saw some flashes of green light,” I affirmed.
“Rina, –“
“What, Callie?” I demanded, now glaring up at her. I was getting sick of her and Rose getting on my case all the time.
“You have to come back to living with the rest of the world and –“
“I’ve seen plenty of the rest of the world!” I argued. “I did the Arithmancy essay in the library during free period on Wednesday and I worked on Charms homework with Austin, Al and Allison in the common room the week before. Not to mention all the classes I’ve been to and –“
“You hid in here during lunch on Wednesday because there may have been people in the library and then snuck down during free just because you needed a book,” Callie crossed her arms. “And it took Austin thirty minutes to convince you to help him on Charms in such a ‘public setting,’” she added with a scoff.
I narrowed my eyes. I couldn’t stand it when Callie got all bitchy. As of late, the only times anyone took the effort to talk to me was when they wanted to criticize me. Fucking arses, the lot of them.
“If you don’t want to talk to me, then leave me the hell alone.”
“But we want to talk to you!” she cried. “That’s the point! We miss you, and want you to come down and –“
“Oh right, because you lot are such fantastic friends that it’s alright if I get glared at and jinxed everywhere I go,” I rolled my eyes sarcastically.
“Rina, you –“
“I don’t want to have a bunch of people around just so that they can be hateful! No one said that you have to talk to me or harass me; what’s so bloody wrong with living your own life without obsessing over the pitiful Rina?” I demanded. “I’d think it’d be a bit more refreshing. Just let me be.”
“I will not,” Callie crossed her arms defiantly. “You have me going insane worrying over you –“
“Then stop worrying,” I told her simply. “No one said you have to pretend to care. Do your homework and hang out with your friends; I’m fine.”
Callie looked me over with her darkened blue eyes before brushing hair out of her face. “You sure as hell are not,” she told me before turning on her heel and leaving the room.
I glared after her for a moment before throwing my book aside and glaring around the rest of the room.
Allison didn’t even care to talk to me anymore, too preoccupied with whoring around, and Callie and Rose seemed to feel the need to always yell at me. And it was always the same thing; the bints seemed to feel the need to take a little time out of their pretty little lives to come around and remind me that mine was hell.
I know I’m stuck up here; I don’t need them around to bloody remind me what I’m missing. It made me furious how they’d come around and pretend to care, just rubbing it in my face that they were going to flounce back down to the common room and chat and laugh with the guys once they were through with yelling at me.
I swiped angrily at a tear as the stupid image of Austin telling a joke and everyone else rolling around in laughter while Callie made eyes at him flooded my mind.
Fucking bastards.
They knew I couldn’t leave the bloody dormitory; they knew that everyone was still either hating me or mocking me. As if I didn’t already know that the failure of Gryffindor house and the fight between the Weasleys and James’s now long shot Quidditch career were all my fault. I know perfectly well, thanks.
And I don’t bloody care if everyone wants to hate me for it. Honest to God, it just doesn’t matter.
I’m already well adjusted to being hated, so there’s no need for those stupid bints to pretend to care.
I hate how everyone feels like being friends with me when they can get Quidditch and homework out of me, and as soon as everyone hates me, I’m suddenly some sort of embarrassment.
They all take turns sitting with me in classes because somebody has to, and the only time somebody took the effort to seek me out was when Louis knew I was hidden in a back corner of the library where nobody could see us when he needed something. I can just imagine how painful it must’ve been for Austin to seek Charms help from me right there in the middle of the Gryffindor common room. And that too, only because Callie was already tutoring second years, Scorpius and Rose were doing their Prefect rounds, and Allison and Albus, who was with him, refused to let him copy. As soon as Allison and Albus left, Austin hightailed it out of there as well.
Which left me alone to fend off two Stinging Hexes and three Trip Jinxes as I tried to get out of there.
I felt the sudden urge to throw or break something, but looking around, I found nothing that would be satisfying enough, and I ended up having to sit up there on my bed and sob my frustrations out into my hands.
I hate my life.
~*~
I woke up late in the morning and glanced around to my bedside table, snorting at the plate of toast and muffins.
Somebody was feeling guilty.
I was tempted to just vanish the food back to the kitchens, but my hunger was outweighing my resolute determination to not accept anything that pretended to care from those idiots. Besides, it was Saturday, so there would be people everywhere all day, so I wasn’t going to make it to the kitchen undetected today. So instead, I begrudgingly ate the food and drank the glass of milk before getting out of bed and crossing the room.
I stood there pointlessly for a moment before crossing back. I then walked into the bathroom, glanced around, and then made my way back out to the room.
And so it went, me aimlessly wandering around the room for three hours, mindlessly shuffling things around, until I finally sat down in front of the mirror and pulled out my wand.
I began flicking it around at my hair, changing its style just for the hell of it.
There was nothing to do.
I think I may have even preferred James screaming at me on the Quidditch pitch.
Actually, the best part of the last month was that James hadn’t spoken to me once.
I felt a pang in the pit of my stomach at that realization.
Despite the fact that I just had not cared for the past month, I wanted James, if not anyone else, to want to talk to me. It’d been years since we’d just sat around and talked. We used to be able to carry on conversations about nothing for hours. James had always been so easy to talk to.
Before he hated me, that is.
I suppose I miss talking to everyone, but it pissed me off that I was missing people that didn’t miss me. That just wasn’t fair.
But I supposed I’d gotten used to everyone else’s exasperation with me. I guess that after spending so much time with people that just barely cared to make the effort to pretend to want to be around, it almost felt unnatural to remember back when they liked having me around.
I could remember clear as day back when James liked me, though.
And then he suddenly hated me without even bothering to make the effort to pretend to care.
And yet, I couldn’t stop wanting him.
Even the memory of his eyes twinkling as he smiled made my stomach erupt into butterflies. He used to always smile at me, and suddenly, I couldn’t remember how I’d been managing without his laugh.
He seemed to always find me amusing; he used to always tease me and laugh while I pouted like a little girl. I’d have a bit of a blonde moment or a klutz moment, and then he’d snort and I’d tried to defend myself, which would always make him laugh. And then other times, we’d sit up at night and talk about the most random things, for some reason getting so into the oddest conversations about Bowtruckles or cheesepuffs, that he’d at some point sit back and smile and comment on how ridiculous the whole thing was. And then I’d shrug and agree, and we’d get back into the rationalization of mammals like dolphins and whales in the ocean. (They need air, so why are they sea animals?)
I sighed, flicking my wand at my hair one last time and returning it back to its original state before glancing back around the room.
James can’t even stand the sight of me anymore.
I don’t even know when I got so selfish and bitchy, but James noticed one day and ran off before I could drag him into the same boat as everyone else.
The rest just stuck around a little too long, not taking the hint to run for it, and as a result, they got stuck having to pretend to still want me around.
I guess they manage pretty well when I’m in a good mood, but even that’s getting exceedingly more rare.
If it weren’t for Callie, Albus, Scorpius, and Louis’s patience, I doubt they would put up with me anymore. It’s no wonder why they always make me feel so ridiculous, at least. It’s as if they barely care that I’m a stupid idiot; they just sigh and give their advice and move on. The boys almost seem to find amusement in condescending me.
I know that Allison just doesn’t want to deal with me anymore, running off for a shag when I’m the only other option. She’s made it clear that she finds my entire existence to be just pathetic.
Callie and Rose take their pretending to care a bit too far. They get so annoying and controlling, and they repeatedly claim that the reason they always come around to accuse me of something is because they “care.” If they cared, they’d be around for more than just yelling at me about how pathetic I am. They’d take the effort to listen, and they’d try to help. Instead, they just tell me I’m stupid and then go back to their lives. And Rose didn’t even bother to come bug me anymore, getting fed up with the chore.
Which leaves Austin acting like the good guy. I suppose his general personality, which can handle things better than most people, allows him the ability to put up with me. Around Austin, it even sometimes feels like he wants me around. But, at some point, it becomes glaringly obvious that he’s just fulfilling some sort of duty, most likely keeping me out of everyone else’s hair.
When my vision blurred, my eyes narrowed again.
Damn it.
I’d made crying a daily activity, which is just absolutely pathetic.
For the love of God, I should’ve grown accustomed to being disliked.
But for some reason, I wanted so badly for my friends to like me. I wanted them to want to be my friends again.
While their lives went on beautifully without me, I missed them.
~*~
I was already hiding in bed by the time Allison and Rose came up to sleep that night. They whispered a bit by Allison’s bed, the farthest from mine, before actually getting into bed, but I was pretty sure they were discussing me anyways. Fucking bints.
It was around 12:30, and Callie hadn’t made it back yet. I rolled over in bed, away from the clock, instead staring at my hangings. I was hungry.
I wanted to wait until everyone was asleep before I went down to the kitchens, however, because the last thing I needed was to be attacked, whether my attackers were pretending to like me or not.
Another hour and a half later, however, Callie was still MIA, so I decided to screw it all and crawled out of bed. She’d probably fallen asleep in the common room; whenever we did that, the guys took us up to their dorm because they couldn’t get up to ours.
Shitheads, I’d practically killed them when they left me all alone in the common room back in third year.
I sighed, quietly slipping some shoes on and shuffling towards the door. I shut it softly after me and made my way down the stairs, pulling my sweater around myself a bit tighter; the castle was always a bit drafty at night.
The common room wasn’t empty, however. I heard the voices as I reached the first landing and immediately froze. I’d almost turned to hurry back to my room, too, until I recognized the voices.
“– eating isn’t even a priority anymore.”
“That’s why we have to do something!”
“Quiet.”
I sat down on the top step and listened.
“If you wake her and she cries again, I’ll kill you,” Austin’s voice went on.
“They used to never cry,” Scorpius spoke again after a moment.
“What does a twelve year-old witch have to cry about?” Austin questioned in response. “Even boarding school isn’t bad when it’s Hogwarts.”
“And with Al and Louis as friends, even Malfoy’s a pretty alright bloke,” Scorpius added.
Even I couldn’t help but smile at the memory of a tiny Albus Potter demanding, “Do you think, I’d make friends with a Death Eater? No? Then scram.”
I held back a snort of laughter that I hadn’t been able to resist at the time; they’d been second years, us first years, and James had spent a week proudly telling everyone about how his little brother was a boss.
That’s what had made being a twelve-year-old witch so easy; Albus and Louis had a way of making it crystal clear that they liked me, screw the stupid Slytherin bints.
But when Louis looked at me like I was pathetic and he needed to escape, things got murky.
“You ever feel like we might be bad friends?” Scorpius spoke again.
“I’m a fantastic friend!” Austin protested.
There was silence for a moment before Austin spoke again. “She’s been exhausted with the past month; nothing will wake her. But no, I don’t think I’m a bad friend.”
“But girls are different,” Scorpius said. “They go loopy if they get a bad feeling. I mean, look at Rose; I can’t tell her I disagree with her without her thinking I don’t love her anymore and want to breakup with her and shit. Their emotions are insane.”
“Are you sure that isn’t just Rose?”
“Yes,” Scorpius insisted. “I mean, look at Callie going crazy over being a failure or something. At least, I think that’s what I got through the tears.”
“Well, yeah, they cry easily and have a tendency to be dramatic, but how is that our fault?” Austin pointed out. “We just have to be the poor blokes that deal with it.”
“Maybe we don’t deal with it right,” Scorpius suggested. “Rina hates it when I try to help. I don’t even know what I’m saying wrong.”
“She thinks you’re condescending,” Austin told him. “She complains to me about it.”
“But I’m just trying to help!” he cried. “Would she prefer me yelling at her like Rose? Because I don’t think that does much good either.”
“That’s the problem with girls,” Austin pointed out. “They think everyone’s out to get them. I half wonder why we even try.”
“Because we care,” Scorpius answered immediately. “I don’t like it when Rina cries; she used to be happy, and she’s always been tough.”
I could barely remember being happy; as far as I could remember, I’d always been just fine.
Maybe before my parents died, back when Jacob made it seem as if Julianne was to be just a petty existence to me. Before my parents were dead and the wall that kept Julianne at bsy crumbled. Before reality made it through the walls people like Jake and Al had put up around me that made me think that everyone liked me and if they didn’t, they didn’t matter. Before the harsh reality became apparent that these people had lied to me. I wasn’t all good; I was a selfish bitch. Just like Julianne had always said, and just like James had one day realized.
I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the wall next to me.
“Maybe it’s like you said,” Austin spoke into the silence. “Maybe we’re just bad at being friends with girls.”
“Not bad, maybe,” Scorpius mused carefully, “Just…ill-equipped. I supposed it might be important to keep in mind that they read things differently.”
“No kidding,” Austin snorted. “I didn’t realized going up to bed was an attempt to escape. She was almost okay that night, too.”
“See, that’s the thing with girls,” Scorpius agreed, “How are we supposed to know if they’re okay or not if they don’t tell us?”
“Louis always claims he knows,” Austin pointed out.
“He has two sisters,” Scorpius reminded, “He may as well be a girl.”
Maybe Scorpius is stupider than I thought. He was always better than Louis, or at least just as good. None of them were bad. I’d always thought that the stability of their emotions made them better friends at times. Less dramatic, at least. The girls were better to talk things out with, but then I always needed the guys to get my head on straight.
It was like I said, guys like Albus make it easy to always know that I have friends, and then girls like Rose have me wondering what exactly it is that she thinks of me.
And then when they’re all thrown together and reality is crashing into me, I never know what to think. Things get confusing and twisted. Suddenly, no one wanted me around, or maybe they didn’t know how to handle me, and that made me difficult.
Perhaps I was the burden that would’ve been better off in the fire; less drama to deal with, less to worry about.
“I think that’s it,” Scorpius spoke up again suddenly.
“What?” Austin questioned.
“Rina was always simple; less dramatic than the girls,” Scorpius said, “Even Callie and Rose said it used to be easier.”
“So?”
“But she’s a girl, and she thinks we hate her,” Scorpius went on quietly.
I think?
“We’ve told her we don’t,” Austin reminded.
“We couldn’t hate you, Rina,” Rose repeated. “I promise you, Rina.”
“Then I don’t know what to do,” Scorpius sighed.
I think I believed it, but I didn’t think I could.
~*~
If I cleared my mind a bit, I think I knew what was happening, and I think I knew what I needed.
I didn’t bother to change or brush my teeth or comb my hair before I left the dormitory. I just put on shoes and a sweater and left.
Albus was sitting at a table by a window with Allison and Louis. I stepped of the staircase and approached him.
He blinked in confusion at me when I touched his arm slightly and he turned, but I ignored it. It was a lot, and then not really much, what I needed. And it was simple too, really. I thought it was. I may be insane, fussing over such details, but it made sense in my mind.
“Do you love me?” I asked him.
He blinked a bit more. “I – Rina, yeah, of course I do, you’re –“
“Then do something for me. Please?”
As his emerald eyes met mine, they were clear. Undoubting and determined. “Anything.”
“Make up with James.”
His eyes widened.
“If you’re not fighting with James because of me, you’ll have no reason to hate me,” I explained to him.
“But I don’t hate you Rina, I –“
“Then prove it,” I crossed my arms resolutely. “Forgive him.”
“How –“
“If you have no reason to hate me, I have no reason to believe that you do.”
I’m probably stupid and ridiculous. My mind works in funny ways. Even I don’t understand its rationales at times, but I do know what it’s thinking. I never understand why, but this much, I knew.
Albus’s eyes flickered over to James, seated on the couch, completely oblivious, with Stacey talking to him animatedly. He was so caught up in listening to her that he didn’t notice Albus until he was right in front of them.
“What would you do if I told you that Stacey Hart is a bitch?” he questioned frankly.
“I’d break your nose,” James answered simply in the same manner.
“Then you should know,” Albus said, “Stacey’s a bitch.”
The common room fell silent as everyone stared. James had knocked the coffee table over as he leapt across it, now standing over his bleeding brother on the ground, seething.
As Lily quickly emerged and pushed him away and Molly healed his nose, Albus simply looked up at his brother. “Then you know how I feel.”
James shoved Lily out of the way and just looked at him. His eyes flickered over towards me for a moment, but then he was standing over his brother again.
Albus took the offered hand and pulled himself up as James pulled out his wand and directed it towards his face, siphoning off the blood.
A/N: I'll be back with a real A/N, but I have to get dressed for work now! Just review!
(I'm particularly interested in how you guys feel about this one!)
Real A/N: Alright, So, what do we think? A generally heartbreaking chapter to write. The first two scenes really got into Rina's head as she finally admitted what was going on. Her background has her looking at things with a really interesting (dramaitc/heartbreaking) perspective. And then there was Austin and Scorpius's conversation, which got to me about as much as it did to Rina. I guess being a girl herself and living with them, she sees Rose, Callie, and Allison as real people with their real faults, but from her point of view, Scorpius, Albus, Louis, and Austin are kind of idealistic. their conversation was areminder that they actually are really people, and more imporantly, actual teenage boys. Really sweet teenage boys, but boys nonetheless. I'm trying to work on making them real, so we'll see. Then there was the end which had me ecstatic. It's the definition of Rina and Albus, I think, and a really good look into James.
So, that's what I got on this chapter. I lied in the last A/N, by the way; I just finished chapter thirteen, which is where James returns, and I've now started chapter fourteen, which is the beginning of part four of the story. good stuff, and I'm counting on the permenant return of James, finally.
Disclaimer: I don't own the things people already know
Chapter 11: The Business of Love
“Austin?”
“Yeah?” he glanced up from his Quidditch Weekly.
“I need to ask you something.”
“Yeah?” he set the magazine down.
“Do you like Callie?”
He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t see how anyone would dislike Callie.”
I picked up the magazine and whacked him over the head with it.
“Oi!” he snatched it out of my hands. “What?”
I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. It was Monday morning. And more than that, it was Valentines’ Day. I had decided that, today, I would be playing Cupid.
While Scorpius had already whisked Rose off to be sickeningly romantic and Allison had made plans to skip Transfigurations in favor of a Valentines’ shag with the first bloke she saw (leaving Callie to try and prevent the murder mission Albus and Louis were no doubt planning), I’d gathered up my love arrows and followed Austin to Transfigurations.
When I’d told Allison and Rose of my plans, they’d scoffed at the idea of me playing Cupid. Apparently, I know nothing about the business of love.
Right.
I mentally snorted before turning my attention back to Austin. “Here’s the way I see it,” I said. “If you’re going to realize feelings for Callie eventually, why not just do it today?”
“Who the hell told you I like Callie?” he frowned with genuine confusion.
“I’m a relatively clever one, thanks,” I crossed my arms, “I didn’t need to be told. I figured it out myself.”
“Figures,” Austin snorted, flipping open his magazine again. “Why would I like Callie?”
“Well, why the hell wouldn’t you?” I demanded. “You make it sound like there’s something wrong with her.”
“There isn’t,” he looked back up at me. “That’s just the thing. Why would a general idiot such as myself bother with having feelings for the general perfection of Callie Mena?”
I opened my mouth to point out that, obviously, he liked her, but the “general perfection” herself came trailing into the room after Albus and Louis, shaking her head at as she took the seat next to Albus right in front of us.
“Silence, please,” Chang shut the door with a bang as she sauntered up to the front of the room. “I trust you all have managed to retain some sort of information on the process of Animagi, so today, you will be taking a quiz.”
There was a collective groan around the room, which Austin and I joined in, before Chang sent us one of her looks again and demanded, “Silence.”
She then proceeded to flick her wand to send quizzes to each of us before saying, “Begin.”
I glared at the quiz before picking up my quill.
The entire class was wasted on the useless quiz-taking, and I didn’t even have a chance to talk to Austin again until the bell rang.
“Alright, so listen,” I turned to him immediately as our quizzes zoomed to the front of the room, “You’re going to tell Cals that –“
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Austin demanded, grabbing my arm and dragging me from the room before Callie and the others could catch up.
“What?” I sent him a look of annoyance and snatched my arm back.
“I don’t like Callie,” he said determinedly.
“No, you just think you’re not supposed to, and therefore pretend that you don’t,” I corrected.
“Rina –“
“You know it’s true.”
He glared at me for a moment before turning away to run frustrated fingers through his hair. “Callie’s a relatively normal type of girl, Rina,” he sighed.
“And you’re what, half-troll?” I raised an eyebrow.
“You know what I mean,” he rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, and you’re not so bad yourself,” I admitted. “I mean, sure, you annoy my tons, but, like I’ve said, Callie’s got a high tolerance for idiots.”
He turned to raise an eyebrow at me.
“I think you’ve got a chance.”
“I don’t know…”
“Okay, here’s the plan,” I said, turning back to him as we stepped out onto the grounds. “You’ll spend a good amount of the next few days in Callie’s company, and then decide whether it’s worth it.”
“I’ve spent plenty of time with Callie.”
“Yes, but not after admitting to the possibility of feelings for her,” I pointed out. “Stop pretending like you don’t like her.”
“Okay, see, now you’re just –“
“I’m really not,” I pulled him towards the greenhouses. “Trust me on this.”
He only sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t get it.”
“That’s because you’re a guy.”
“Oh, and you know anything about this whole business?” he raised a skeptical eyebrow.
“Why does everyone keep questioning that?” I cried. “I’ll have you know that I know plenty. I happen to be a closet romantic in denial, thanks,” I humphed, crossing my arms.
Austin snorted, sending me an amused look as we took our seats in Herbology. “Are you now?”
“No,” I sent him an aghast look.
Does the kid not know what denial means?
He rolled his eyes, pulling his essay out of his bag.
“Okay, despite all that,” he turned back to me, “I don’t think –“
“You’re such an idiot, Donald,” I snapped, turning away from him. “Have a little faith.”
“But –“
“I won’t leave you alone unless you give it a try,” I decided, crossing my arms again.
He sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes. “I honestly don’t get it.”
“Just don’t pretend, Austin,” I sighed.
“What –“
I got up and moved farther along the bench as the rest entered the greenhouse, and Callie, obviously, took the vacant seat next to Austin.
He blinked at me for a moment, and then glanced around at Callie. She smiled fleetingly up at him before turning to her bag, leaving Austin to gape at the top of her head.
I smirked triumphantly. Damn straight, Donald. Who knows your mind better than you do?
Yeah, that’s right, Rina. Pure brilliance.
I held back a snort as Austin turned to glance at me in horror.
Yes, Donald, you should be scared.
I spent the rest of the day feeling pretty satisfied with myself, and I couldn’t even help but grin as I literally skipped into the dormitory that night.
I am a boss.
Callie looked around to me in confusion as she stepped out of the bathroom in her pajamas. “What’s got you so ecstatic?”
“I had this really good talk with Austin,” I informed her as I fished out my own pajama bottoms and T-shirt. “Really good.”
“About?” she raised an eyebrow.
“This and that,” I shrugged. “Talking to Austin’s always good, you know. He’s got this way of making your entire life without even realizing it.”
Callie just blinked at me for a moment before looking away with a sigh. “Don’t I know it. He makes your whole life just with a glance.”
I snorted. “He makes your life with a glance. I just like him.”
She only shook her head, stepping aside as I skipped into the bathroom to change. “He’s always been that fantastic.”
I smirked as I shut the door after myself.
She’s so fucking in love.
~*~
“You told me that I liked her, not that I bloody loved her!”
I looked up from my Defense essay and smirked. “When’d you figure it out?”
“We were in the library and working on our Potions essay,” he began, sitting across from me at the table in the common room.
I raised an expectant eyebrow when he didn’t go on. “And…?”
“That’s it!” he cried, bordering on hysterical now. “I was doing Potions and enjoying it! I looked at her, and she was writing, and then I looked at my essay, and I finished it! I didn’t even want to not do it! What does this mean?”
“That you’re in love with her, obviously,” I rolled my eyes.
“But how?”
“Look,” I explained, “You did you’re Potions essay, right? It’s like when Rose didn’t do the extra credit in Arithmancy and snuck into detention with Scorpius instead. I know it’s love when food and sleep aren’t at the top of my priority list anymore.”
Austin blinked at me for a moment, and then glanced at my essay. “Really?” he looked back up at me.
I rolled my eyes and returned to a detailing of the Imperious Curse.
I do actually know things, thanks.
Austin sat there for a moment more, dumbfounded, before speaking again.
“What do I do?”
I looked back up at him to raise an eyebrow. “You’re going to need to figure that one out yourself.”
“But I thought you knew these things!” he cried.
“Yes,” I rolled my eyes, “Which is why I’m saying that you have to figure it out yourself. It means shit if I tell you what to do.”
“But –“
“Just sit down and think, what would Austin do?” I suggested.
“But I don’t know what Austin would do!” he exclaimed. “This isn’t what Austin does! Austin does cool and stupid and general idiot, not cheesy and romantic!”
I snorted. The thought of Austin trying to figure out how to convey his feelings to Callie was actually a bit amusing.
“Help!” he begged.
I only shook my head. “How about advice?”
“Please!”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t try to think cheesy and romantic. That’s not Austin anyway.”
“But –“
“And Callie knows that, so it’s okay.”
He blinked at me for a moment. “So you’re saying do something stupid and idiotic?”
I shrugged. “Try thinking Austin. Seriously, what would you do?”
“Make a fool of myself?” he guessed.
“Probably,” I agreed, nodding, “But how?”
“I don’t know!” he cried exasperatedly, “That’s what I need help with!”
I sighed. This kid is hopeless.
“I wouldn’t expect any roses or midnight walks to be involved,” I decided. “Austin doesn’t think like that.”
“Right,” he nodded frantically.
“I picture stuttering and awkwardness,” I told him truthfully.
“What?” He looked horrified.
I shrugged. “You’re Austin. What would you expect?”
“Cool and suave!”
I snorted. “Right. You’re thinking of Scorpius or Louis.”
“But I –“
“And even Scorpius couldn’t come up with anything smoother than snogging her,” I reminded. It’s like people didn’t know how to say things anymore.
“Should I –“
“Does it seem like something Austin would do?” I asked.
He thought about it for a moment before shaking his head slowly. “I couldn’t pull it off,” he admitted.
“So?” I prompted.
He thought again for a moment while I watched him.
I kind of knew Austin’s style, so I suppose I know how it would turn out, but it was up to him, really. Some things just don’t seem so sincere when someone else comes up with them; it has to be him, not me. No matter the disaster that awaits.
“I haven’t got a clue,” Austin eventually sighed dejectedly, slumping down into his seat.
Well obviously. Some things aren’t supposed to be planned either.
“You’ll get it,” I assured.
“But I’m not prepared!” he cried.
“You’re not supposed to be,” I told him, rolling my eyes. “You’ll tell her when your gut’s ready for it.”
“But how?”
“Your gut’s going to know that, too,” I reassured.
“But –“
I only shook my head, snorting again. He looked terrified. That’s Austin, and I figured messing with that would ruin everything, so I left him to hyperventilate and returned to my essay.
This could’ve been a mistake, however, as I realized the next day.
I know that I mentioned before that Austin’s more of an idiot than I thought, but I don’t even have words for him anymore. Like, seriously, there’s only so much of an idiot an idiot can be.
But then I went up to the dormitory.
(Cue disaster).
“What happened?” I immediately asked Rose, seeing that Callie was crying into her shoulder.
“Austin’s an idiot,” Allison answered from the other side of the bed, sat with legs crossed and arms folded against her chest.
I sighed and joined them on the bed, discarding my Defense books on my bed as I went. “What’d he do?”
“He d-doesn’t like me!” Callie wailed into Rose’s shoulder as she patted her back sympathetically.
Oh dear God.
“And how do you know?” I asked her patiently (yes, I can do patient if it feels necessary).
My question, however, only prompted her to wail louder.
Beautiful.
“Tyler Wright from Ravenclaw asked her to Hogsmeade,” Rose explained.
“While she was in the library with Austin helping him with the Arithmancy essay,” Allison added.
Oh no.
“What’d you say?” I asked Callie a bit nervously.
“No,” Rose answered for her.
I released a sigh of relief. I was seriously about to worry. If she’d complicated this, I was going to abort before I got caught up in the drama. I cannot handle drama.
“So then what happened?” I asked.
Callie hiccupped slightly before lifting her head to face me. “A-Austin said what an idiot, w-why would he b-bother with asking me out because that’s just stupid!” She ended up shouting with a fresh wave of tears running down her pretty face.
Wonderful.
“My head hurts,” I decided, closing my eyes.
“H-he says that it’s s-stupid to like me!” Callie cried again, burying her face back into Rose’s shoulder.
Well, there was that thing about stupid and idiotic.
I sighed and got up, leaving again as Callie’s sobs overtook the room.
Since when did it come down to me to fix things?
Oh, right, when I decided to play matchmaker for an idiot.
I sighed again as I made my way across the common room and up to the boys’ dormitory.
“Austin Raine!” I slammed the door open.
He jumped and dropped his Quidditch magazine, nearly tumbling out of bed as well.
“What?” he sent me a glare, picking the magazine back up as he righted himself.
“When you tell girls that it’s stupid to like them, they assume it’s because they’re stupid,” I informed him, stalking into the room and slamming the door behind myself.
He blinked at me for a moment. “What does that –“ and then he stopped and blinked again before, “Oh, shit.”
“Idiot,” I sighed, rolling my eyes again.
“What’d he do?” Scorpius asked.
“Well,” I glanced at him, “Callie’s crying buckets.”
“She’s crying?” Austin’s eyes went wide.
“Of course she’s crying!” I shouted again. “What did you think?”
“But – but that’s not what I meant!” he defended.
“Yeah, but she didn’t know that!”
“Why is she crying?” Albus demanded, fixing Austin with a glare.
“Did you tell her she’s stupid?” Louis sent him a similar glower.
“Not on purpose!”
I groaned loudly, taking his magazine and slapping him around the head with it again a few times.
“Stop it!” he swiped it away.
“Explain,” Scorpius flicked his wand and summoned the magazine from my hands.
“I meant that it’s stupid for the wanker to think he stands a chance,” Austin elucidated. “I mean, what type of general idiot thinks that he’s actually worth someone like Callie?”
“Well, there’s you,” I pointed out.
“No, that was your idea,” he argued. “I said that I’m not that stupid.”
“Really, because I’d expect you to be,” Scorpius disagreed fairly.
“Never mind him being stupid,” Albus was still glaring. “Fix it!”
“How?”
“You’re supposed to come up with that,” I reminded.
“But I’m still not prepared!”
“Well, get prepared before my gut decides to hex you,” I snapped, turning on my heel to stalk away and dramatically slam the door again after myself.
Fucking idiot friends.
Why the hell do I bother?
They suck.
I’d decided that I needed cake in order to deal with the idiots, so I was stalking down to the kitchens when I ran into Allison.
She also seemed to feel that she needed help in dealing with the idiots. Only, she’d figured she would be better helped by shagging Jared Rogers in a hidden corridor.
“Harper!” I found myself shrieking as I stumbled upon the half-naked couple pressed against a wall.
Allison detached her face from Rogers’s long enough to look over his shoulder at me while he continued to kiss her neck.
Eww.
“Get off of her, you prick!” I cried, flicking my wand and effectively slamming him against the opposite wall.
“Rina!” Allison glared. “What is your problem?”
“Having bloody idiots for friends is my problem!” I screamed back at her. I was getting sick of her. I mean, normal people, when they get stressed, go knit or read or smoke or hit things or take bubble bathes or walks. Allison, however, goes and finds herself a shag.
She gives me a migraine.
“Why is it that –“
“If you don’t mind, Zar,” Jared Rogers sent me a nasty look as he cut me off, climbing to his feet, “we were a bit busy.”
My eyes narrowed furiously at him. “I will cut out your insides and strangle you with them,” I told him.
He made a disgusted face at me and opened his mouth again, but when I slashed my wand at him again, he ran.
“Rina!” Allison glared at me again.
“One day, you are going to realize what is happening to you, and then you will be in tears and Albus and Louis will have killed every guy you’ve ever shagged,” I turned back to her.
“There is noth –“
“Or, better yet,” I spoke over her, my eyes hardening, “one day, you’ll fall in love and realize how deep you’ve dug yourself into that hole.”
Allison simply blinked at me as I shoved passed her and towards the kitchens.
I need that bloody cake, now.
~*~
Louis found me in the kitchens three hours later, still shoveling cake and ice cream down my throat.
This is what I do when I’m stressed, alright?
I glanced up at the blond as he entered, thanking a house elf as he approached me. I pushed a pint of ice cream towards him, yanking out a chair next to me, before continuing to shove my own spoon into my mouth.
Louis sat next to me, taking a spoon and taking a bite of ice cream.
“What happened?” he asked after a few minutes.
“Ran into Allison,” I answered shortly. I was still furious.
Louis didn’t say anything, looking back towards me.
I sighed, finally turning to him as well, setting my spoon down. “I don’t like it.”
Louis set his spoon down as well, turning to glare at his ice cream. “You’re telling me,” he said bitterly.
I sighed, picking my spoon back up and digging it around in my ice cream. “I finally get what’s so frustrating,” I told him.
“Trying and failing?’ he glanced back up at me.
I nodded dejectedly. “I can’t get through to her.”
“I used to be able to,” Louis sighed, pushing ice cream around with his own spoon. “Before, when she was upset about things. She used to listen to me.”
I smiled slightly. “Everyone listens to you. You always seem to know how to go about things.”
“It’s because of Vic and Dom,” he admitted. “I suppose I’ve picked up on how Dad handles them.”
“You’re good at it,” I told him.
Louis shrugged, returning his attention back to his ice cream. “I’m no good at being a brother, though.”
I dropped my spoon as I turned back to him.
“That’s where the protective stuff comes from, isn’t it?” he glanced back up at me. “I suck at handling that.”
I relaxed slightly, almost smiling a bit again. “You’re still a Weasley.”
“I love how that’s an excuse,” he turned away again.
“It’s family,” I corrected. “There’s nothing wrong with being compared to family. You’re supposed to have those things about you that prove you’re related. It’s always the little things with you guys. It’s the drama and your protectiveness, but also your smirking and humor, and your general love of life. But you still do Weasley in your own way.”
“I suppose,” he said finally, looking back up at me.”It does leave me ill equipped to handle Allie though.”
“It’s alright though,” I assured him, “That’s what Austin and Scorpius and Callie are for. I mean, I suck too, clearly, but they’re capable. People are different, and it’s just a matter of the right fit.”
The look in his eyes as he spoke again reminded me of the desperation in the library. “There’s nothing worse than failing as a brother. This is supposed to be what we do. I’m supposed to do it right.”
My heart broke a bit all over again.
I gripped his hand again tightly, attempting a reassuring smile for him. “Allie will need your style of brother for something. I promise.”
A/N: So???
This one's definitely a lot shorter and a bit filler, but with some important stuff, too; I don't think I write just filler chapters, actually. Let's call it set up.
So, how do we feel about this set up chapter? I enjoyed Austin in this one, but I guess the actual important part is the beginning of the thing with Allison. I mentioned in a response to a review about teenage girls and Rina's mood swings, but I'm starting to think this entire story is a teenage girl; mood swings if ever. I'm trying to highlight the life of a teenage girl, I guess. Oh well.
I'm also trying to give more indirect insight to what Rina's actually like through other people's eyes. It might take a couple chapters to develop, but I want to hear what you guys think. She's a very well rounded and dynamic character (in the opinion of the author).
I also felt like throwing in a little (somewhat useless and fluffy) foreshadowing there; doubt you'll notice until we get to what I was hinting at, and even then.... No big deal, though! (Gosh, I'm such a tease).
I really do throw around too many hints and clues in these A/Ns and my responses, don't I? Does that bug you? I'll try to watch myself if it does.
Anyways, there's also the issue with my prewrittens. I know I've mentioned that i have a good few written ahead, and I realyl do try my hardest to use that to my advantage to get these out quickly, but it doesn't always work like that. I don't sit there and outline things before I write them, so chances are that things might not stick. i just type what comes to my mind at the time, and then sometimes that'll contridict something and I have to go back and rework things. I do my best to get things concrete as best as I can, though, so that I can keep posting somewhat regularly. You guys get that, right? I'll do my best with the next one, and thanks for being so patient you guys!
Disclaimer: I don't own things that you recognize
Chapter 12: Desperation
Quite obviously, I had, once again, been a bitch. Which is why Allison was avoiding me.
Rose was angry at me for upsetting Allison, and seeing as Callie was still a wreck, she didn’t bother to take the usual effort to mediate.
Albus and Louis, meanwhile, had reached the point of being fed up with Allison’s tendencies, so they did their best to avoid her as well, lest they throw something at fires.
Austin was so busy trying to figure how he was supposed to talk to Callie again without making things worse, that he couldn’t help to control Allison, making her even worse. And Austin’s avoidance of Callie hadn’t helped to improve her mood, either.
This, of course, left Scorpius and I to sort things out.
(Insert snort here).
Yeah right.
“I’m this close to losing my mind,” I informed Scorpius after another failed attempt at hanging out with everyone without someone stomping off or running away. We used to always spend free periods hanging out together. And then drama happened.
“And I’m a guy,” Scorpius shot back, “I don’t know what you expect me to do.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. Scorpius is a lifeline. Scorpius is brilliant, and he knows people. He’s really good at handling us.
He just thinks it’s too much effort when he has to make the conscious effort to do so.
Prat.
“You always think I know things, but you lot are a lot more drama than you realize.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I know that we’re all a lot of drama. And I guarantee you’d know how to handle it before I would.”
“I don’t think –“
“What make you think you’re a bad friend?” I interrupted.
He stopped abruptly. “I – what?”
The thought had been eating at me a bit, actually.
“I mean, sure, you bug me, but you’re always right,” I went on. “In the end, I’d be fucked without you.”
He blinked a bit at me. “You’re logic and reason,” I said thoughtfully. “Albus is gut and action, and I supposed Louis’s in the middle with Austin all over the place depending. Callie and Allie and Rose are girls, and that leaves you to be the most stable and dependable. It doesn’t matter if you’re mad or upset or whatever, you’re always there. You always know how to fix things objectively, no matter how you feel about it.”
Scorpius blinked a bit more before sitting back in his chair. “Really?”
I shrugged and nodded. I always thought it was kind of obvious.
If I were to define my friends, Scorpius would be logic and stability. Albus would be action, and Louis would be comfort. Austin was a sort of escape or subtly, whatever was needed. Rose was the mother hen, but also drama and emotion. Callie was love and kindness and innocence, and Allison was stubbornness and blunt honesty. They were all sort of the individual pieces I needed to hold up my world. Without one, everything would crumble. If one broke, it all shattered. I think things were starting to shatter a bit now. Maybe.
If we didn’t figure it out now.
“What?” Scorpius inquired as I sat, staring out the window in silence.
“I don’t know if I’ve mentioned before, but I love you guys,” I told him, turning back to face him.“I’m not exactly sure what would happen without you all.”
Scorpius smiled slightly and reached out to stop my fingers twiddling my quill. “We know.”
“Good,” I returned his smile, “because I think I’ve got a tendency to be a bit of a bitch most of the time.”
He only shook his head, however, “I think that you have a tendency to think that, but you’re more like Rose.”
“Rose?” I frowned.
“You’re first instinct is to get angry and scream,” he explained. “You don’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings; you just want them to listen.”
I shrugged a bit. “Harsh, but honest.”
“Exactly,” Scorpius nodded. “That’s not bad, because when whatever you said to Allison stops stinging, she’ll remember that you do love her and just want her to be alright.”
“That’s all I want,” I agreed. It’s a bit heart-wrenching to see what’s happening to Allison. The more guys she sleeps with, the more she hurts herself. It’s as if she’s proving that, for some reason, with something, she’s not happy. And she deserves to be happy. She doesn’t deserve the things people say about her. She deserves for someone to love her, and to feel like someone loves her. She’s too good of a person for what she’s doing.
“Sometimes I get the feeling she’s giving up,” Scorpius spoke again after a moment’s silence.
“Giving up?”
He nodded with a sigh. “A bit like you when you let yourself believe everyone hated you. It’s as if she’s quit on a good guy or something.”
The thing with Scorpius is that he’s insightful as hell; Scorpius knows things. And he’s a guy. I’m never exactly sure where all his deep shit comes from in the first place.
Who would’ve thought that he could actually read that deep into anything?
Hell, I thought Allison was just being stupid.
Scorpius knows people. He knows us.
“Quit on love?” I asked quietly.
Scorpius shrugged, shifting slightly. “Err, yeah, I guess that’s it.”
I smiled slightly.
He is just a guy.
~*~
“Fuck off, Louis, Weasley! You don’t own me!”
“But I don’t want –“
“I don’t give a shit what you want!” Allison screamed, yanking her arm from his grip and stalking out of the common room.
I sighed, watching Louis’s furious face as he glowered at the back of the portrait hole.
“She’s –“
“Yes, I know,” Rose took his arm and guided him over towards the couch Scorpius and I were sat on.
“I don’t get it!”
“Scorpius does,” I told him.
“You do?” Louis whipped around to him.
“Well, she thinks I do,” Scorpius glanced at me.
I sighed, shaking my head. Scorpius hadn’t quite managed to gather this afternoon’s musings into logic. He had got it, but he didn’t know it yet. Scorpius is the type of person who offers his own ideas without realizing that he’s exactly right. In his mind, he’s the guy who mucks around trying to fix things, doing whatever he can, but he doesn’t see how he does it all exactly right.
“She’s quit,” I explained to Louis and Rose.
“Quit?” Louis frowned.
“What? Why?” Rose’s eyes widened.
I sighed again and shrugged. I wish I knew.
“What does she mean, quit –“
“She deserves so much more! Why doesn’t she see that?”
I shrugged again. Rose was starting to make me feel helpless. It was as if I couldn’t do anything for Allison. Why was it that I couldn’t do anything to make her get it? I mean, I tried, but I just yelled and upset her. And why wasn’t she talking?
I closed my eyes, dropping my head onto Scorpius’s shoulder as I tried to reason. It was just then when it hit me.
She already knew how deep in that hole she was. That’s why she quit.
“I think she knows,” I spoke, opening my eyes to face Louis. “You and Al are wasting your time, because she knows it’s bad. The only thing is, she thinks it’s too late. That’s why she’s quit.”
“Too late for what?” Louis frowned.
“For it to matter if she stopped sleeping around,” I answered my voice growing quieter as I felt a jab at my heart. “Too late to be anything but a whore.”
The look on Louis’s face, as if, for one wild moment, he wanted to punch me in the face, mirrored the chilling anguish running through me.
What’ve we allowed to happen?
“That’s not fair,” Rose whispered softly.
I was crying again.
~*~
Albus threw a nearby third year’s Potions book into the fire when he found out what Scorpius had figured.
“That’s not fair,” he growled, glaring around furiously for something else to throw as the third year and his friends quickly gathered the rest of their things and scrambled.
Rose set a hand on his arm in an attempt to calm him, but he just shrugged it off, still glowering furiously.
“What the hell gives her that idea?” he demanded.
I shrugged helplessly. I wouldn’t be nearly as lost if I knew.
“Allison is too good for that,” he went on, “She’s brilliant and strong and kind. She’s a good person. Hell if I’m going to let her get away with less than a bloody prince. Actually,” he began looking from me to Rose again determinedly, “She’s too good for anybody. No one deserves the general person of Allison; she’s too understanding and too tolerant, and much too caring and a general Allison for any idiot bloke!”
I exchanged looks with Rose, reaching out to carefully take the snapped quill from between Al’s fingers.
No one seemed to get Allison, but Albus was right. That is exactly what she is, just in an Allison sort of way. She seems harsher and ruder, but she’s so much like Callie. All she ever wants is for everyone else to see the best in themselves.
While Callie goes about it with comforting words like, “But you’re such a good person,” Allison’s style is more of a, “You’re an idiot if you think you’re bad.” But the words hold the same meaning; that’s the way Allison does it.
That’s why people didn’t see it, though. Allison dished out tough love, but the fact that she did love was glaringly clear.
Allison was the type who didn’t want people to realize what a good person she was. She was so protective and so selective of who she was protective of, that she succeeded. Yes, she was sarcastic and rude, but there was no better friend than Allison. She was so loyal and always determined as hell to prove the good in the people that she loved.
As I looked back to Albus, it was clear that he’d always known this.
“You need to calm down,” Rose said quietly, reaching out to smooth his fisted fingers.
He focused on her at her touch, and his expression seemed to crumble. “Why does she think that?”
Rose immediately looked away from him, and when Albus turned his eyes to me, I understood why.
His emerald eyes were bright and desperate for understanding. They were like a child’s, trying to understand, desperate to understand, why cruelty existed in the world.
They were begging to know what could be so cruel as to steal our Allison’s innocence and faith in the world.
It was heart breaking.
Rose reached out another hand to brush his hair out of his eyes and turn him back to face her. “It’s not your fault,” she told him quietly.
He shook his head slightly.
“Why would it be?” Rose pressed, her ocean blue eyes staring imploringly into his bright emerald ones.
He didn’t say anything, however. He just stood up and left.
Rose stared after him for a moment before turning back to me helplessly.
I didn’t know the answer to the question in her eyes. What was happening?
How did things get so…insane?
We were fine just a couple of months ago. Sure, my friends were still annoying, but I could put up with them. I played Quidditch, did homework, went to classes, ate in the Great Hall, and spent the rest of my time sitting around somewhere with someone doing absolutely nothing at all. And everything was fine.
Allison was sleeping around, Callie was pinning after Austin, and Rose was always shouting. Albus was protective, Austin was oblivious, Scorpius could barely handle Rose, and Louis was so good that no one ever really realized. I was snarky and cynical and bitchy and couldn’t smile.
But it was fine.
I shrugged back at Rose with a similar expression.
I didn’t have clue.
Albus is a generally ridiculously patient and tolerant person; he may be protective, but he puts up with a ridiculous amount of our shit. He puts up with me. So why couldn’t he handle this?
Rose had turned her attention to the fire, watching the third year’s Potions book burn. (I made a vague mental note to track down my third year Potions book and give it to the kid; a Potter temper is always bad).
I suppose the past few weeks had been taking a toll on me, however, because I was suddenly overwhelmed by sheer exhaustion.
When I awoke, there was shouting.
“But he’s just –“
“I don’t care!” Allison snapped, turning on her heel and dragging yet another guy off with her.
Callie stared after her helplessly for a moment before turning her expression to us and sinking into the sofa.
I watched her for a moment before sitting up slowly, glancing around. I exchanged looks with Scorpius in the armchair next to mine with Rose before looking back to Callie. She looked hurt.
This was starting to get a bit out of hand. Actually, it had been ridiculously out of hand for a long while, but I was too caught up to realize.
It was as if my life had become an incomprehensible blur lately, and I could barely keep up with what was happening. Every day was monotonous, just like the last, but in such a bad way. Allison was sleeping with someone, Albus and Louis were furious at her, Callie was near tears, and the rest of us had no idea what to do about it.
Alright, damn it, that’s it.
I turned a sharp expression to Austin, suddenly feeling all traces of exhaustion seep out of me, and nodded towards Callie as I crossed my arms.
His eyes widened as he began to frantically shake his head. He still refused to speak with her, afraid that he might upset her again.
My eyes narrowed at him. Why didn’t he understand? This is what Austin
did; he’s the one that cheers us up, gives us hope again.
Callie didn’t need reasoning, she didn’t need anger, and she wanted, but didn’t need, a shoulder to cry on. She didn’t need drama or fretting or a general Allison, either. She needed Austin.
Rose had joined me in giving him the look, and only when Scorpius sighed slightly and gestured towards Callie did Austin resign, getting up to sit gingerly next to her.
“Er, Callie?”
She didn’t blink or speak or turn to him. She only drew up her feet onto the couch and leaned into him, resting her head against his chest as she continued to stare into the fire.
Austin’s eyes widened in surprise for a moment before he wrapped an arm around her tightly, glancing up to me questioningly.
I rolled my eyes with a silent snort. He’s still an idiot.
Rose was smiling slightly as she observed them for a moment before burying her head into Scorpius’s shoulder and closing her eyes.
I suppose that was it; just wait it out. I pulled my feet up and curled up in the chair, closing my eyes as well.
It was relatively quiet in the common room tonight. Between the five of us, there was a comfortable silence. It seemed almost as if it were exuding off of Austin: hopeful, reassuring.
I suppose we all needed it though; Rose had screamed herself out as well and was nearing Callie’s state, while Scorpius was seeming more defeated than ever.
We’d all agreed that whatever it was that was going on with Allison, it was bad. Obviously, it was bad, but the extent of how far it went was deeper that we’d thought at first.
Allison used to be alright, even. She’d always been like this but she was normal otherwise. As soon as we started really noticing though, as soon as someone (I) said something to her, she sort of broke. All of a sudden, she was distant and angry. Allison was entirely gone.
Despite Albus and Louis’s constant anger, even they’d begun to give up. Something in her sudden change kind of threw them off, as well.
“Is she going to be okay?” Callie broke the silence.
Rose and I opened our eyes to look at her. She was still staring at the fire.
“She’s got us, hasn’t she?” Austin reminded.
“It’s like Rina again,” she spoke quietly, still not looking around.
I frowned slightly.
Was it?
“Kind of,” she went on, “I still feel helpless.”
“It’s about her though, isn’t it?” Scorpius spoke up, “At some point, she just needs to let go, and then she can move on.”
I glanced around at him, still with a slight, contemplative frown.
It was, though, I decided. Just a moment to let it go, unburden the mind, was enough to figure it out. That’s all it took for me. A moment in which my friends wavered. I suddenly realized it was all in my head. Just letting it go for a moment, I knew what my mind was looking for.
But what did Allison need?
But I suppose there wasn’t all that much we could do to help her figure it out, either.
I’d always had my friends, but Allison’s problem was in more than that, wasn’t it?
If I could find her a prince or a knight, I would, but I didn’t know where to look.
“I tried talking to her,” Austin said, “but she wouldn’t say anything. Honestly,” he glanced up to exchange a look with Scorpius, “I think it’s a girl thing.”
“Is it?” Callie finally tore her gaze from the fire and turned to meet his eyes.
Austin nodded.
“Well,” Callie glanced to me as well, meeting my gaze, “That changes things.”
I figured she was right. If this was something we had to handle alone, there was only one way to do it.
Girls always had this tendency to gang up on each other. And usually, it works.
So we made a plan.
Well, a girly version of a plan.
Actually, it was a bit pathetic.
Allison didn’t make it back to the dormitory until 3:26 that next Friday night.
Rose, Callie and I were huddled on my bed, waiting anxiously for her. I actually realized how terrifying it was, the thought of Allison off somewhere with who-knows-who. I shuddered at the thought of what if we weren’t at Hogwarts where everyone was safe.
Regardless, however, no one’s feelings were safe here.
The thought of what was happening to Allison was scary; I was afraid she might get stuck.
“What are you all doing still up?” she frowned as she entered the room. We’d made an effort to try and leave her alone that week in hopes of getting her to talk to us. It had kind of worked; she wasn’t mad at us anymore, at least.
I suddenly realized how much I’d missed Allison; it had been much too long since I got to spend good time with her.
“Waiting for you,” Rose answered her, scooting over on the bed.
Allison eyed us suspiciously, but she took the spot on the bed.
Looking at her up close, it was clear what she’d been up to, even if we didn’t already know. Her school skirt was askew, the buttons of her shirt weren’t done up all the way, her hair was in complete disarray, and her bra was slung around her wrist until she flung it across the room at her bed.
(Alright, so the bra was a dead giveaway, but still).
“What’s up?” she asked nonchalantly.
Rose and I exchanged looks before glancing to Callie.
She was always so sincere, even Allison had to know that she meant it, right?
“I –“ she turned to her with her classic doe-eyes that always meant she was so worried and scared and had to do something now. “I – I’m scared,” she admitted quietly.
“Of what?” Allison demanded immediately, protective anger lighting up in her. “I’ll kill it.”
“I – I’m afraid that something bad is going to happen,” Callie said, her blue eyes making it clear that she meant every word she spoke.
It almost broke my heart yet again to hear the desperation in her voice; it was cruel to do this to someone like Callie who lived for her friends’ wellbeing.
“Something like what?” Allison frowned.
“I’m scared that you’re going to get hurt.”
Allison blinked, and then, a moment later, her eyes flashed with betrayal.
“You’re not okay, and I –“
“What the hell is your guys’ problem?” she demanded, ignoring Callie entirely as she turned her flashing eyes to Rose and I. “Why can’t you butt out?”
“I don’t know Allison,” Rose rolled her eyes sarcastically, immediately flaring up, “Maybe it has something to do with us caring about you!”
“It’s none of your business who I shag!” she cried.
“It is when your shagging is literally causing Allison to fade away!” I shouted right back. Why wouldn’t she listen?
“I’m fine!” Allison insisted.
“No,” Callie shook her head furiously, “Something isn’t right! You’re off. You’re slipping away!”
“What the hell are you on about?” Allison crossed her arms. “I’m a whore. I’m not dying.”
There was silence for a single moment.
And then I snapped.
I’ve literally never wanted so badly for somebody to just listen to me; I’ve never been so desperate to make someone agree with me.
I did the first thing my instinct said to do in such desperation.
I slapped her across the face.
“Rina.” I figured Rose was probably glaring daggers at me while Callie stared with wide-eyed fear, but all I was seeing was red.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry in my life.
I was seething, kneeling on the bed over Allison, whose amber eyes were wide and staring at me as she held her stinging cheek.
“Say it again,” I dared.
She continued to stare.
In her eyes, I saw that I was right; swirling within the depths of amber, I saw a little girl with faith in the world.
~*~
It was probably the last of the snow for the year, seeing as February was slowly fading away. Since it was Saturday, the entirety of Gryffindor Tower was out on the grounds, screaming and laughing amongst the white ice blanketing the earth. The common room was close to empty that afternoon.
Lily had dragged the Weasleys along to join the rest of the school outside, and Rose had taken Scorpius with her.
I didn’t want to think about where Allison was at, though it was completely obvious.
Austin and Callie were the only two in the common room with me that afternoon.
I felt as if even my anger had run out, leaving me feeling somewhat hollow, empty. I barely even registered the looks Austin kept throwing me in between stares at Callie, who was staring blankly across the room. I didn’t know what to do anymore.
It wasn’t until Callie spoke that my mind snapped back.
“Why am I such a bad friend?” she asked, pleadingly, as she stared at her hands.
I was about to pull an Allison or Rose and scream again, but Austin had taken over before I could.
His hands clasped around hers as he looked imploringly into her face. “Callie.”
She slowly turned her eyes to him.
“No one’s ever had a friend filled with so much love,” he told her determinedly. “We thank our lucky stars everyday for giving us you.”
“But if I was a good friend, then –“
“You’d try your damnedest everyday to make your friends smile,” he continued for her. “That’s all you do, Callie. Allison’s lucky to have a friend that the rest of the world doesn’t deserve.”
Callie looked back at him almost bitterly. “What makes you suddenly think I’m so great?”
“Callie,” Austin shook his head slightly, “our world would fall apart without you. You know that. You’re absolutely brilliant.”
“Really?” she sneered, yanking her hands away, “because I thought I was stupid.”
Austin’s eyes widened as he retracted his hands slowly, staring at her. “Callie…”
“I don’t even care,” she snapped, glaring at him, “I mean, I know it’s pathetic, how hard I try and how desperate I get. I didn’t think it was bad, though, to want my friends to be happy. I’m sorry if I’m too stupid to help, though!”
“Callie, I –“
“Because you’re just too good for me, aren’t you?” she plowed right on, “You always know how to fix people and make them happy. It’s just what Austin does. You barely even have to try, and Rina can’t help but laugh. She was barely okay before she was off smiling after you as if you’d just made her life. And then there’s me, once again defeated, with nothing better to do than ooze desperation after another friend that I can’t help! It’s not fair!”
Austin blinked at her for a moment. “But – but, I’m not good enough for you.”
I had to try real hard not to snort. Callie’s just opened up a whole new can of worms, and that’s all he focuses on. Typical head over heels in love.
Callie blinked back at him.
“See, that’s the whole thing,” Austin spoke again, “All you ever do is try to make everyone happy. You’re that one person that just proves to the rest of us something about us is good enough for Callie to love us enough to make herself insane. Then there’s me, mucking around without a clue in the world.”
“But you always fix things,” Callie told him. “You always make everyone happy.”
“I’m a guy!” he cried, “All I do is stupid and idiocy. Half the time I fuck up, and all I know is that I love you guys and want you to be happy. I mean, how typical tactless guy is it to tell a girl that it’s stupid to like her?”
Callie blushed and looked away from him.
“I mean, only I would think it’s clear that I meant only a stupid idiot would think he’s good enough for the likes of Callie Mena,” Austin plowed on, “I thought it was pretty damn crystal, actually, until Rina clued me in. And then you think I knows things,” he snorted.
Callie looked back up at him with wide doe-eyes. “You don’t think I’m stupid?”
Austin snorted again. “You’re bloody brilliant.”
Callie blinked at him once before throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.
I rolled my eyes with a snort of my own at the bewildered expression on his face.
“Thanks,” Callie mumbled into his chest.
“Your…welcome?” He looked so lost.
Oh, for the love of God.
Callie seemed to get his confusion, too, however. She giggled slightly as she looked up at him. “Thank you for being such a good friend.”
“Oh,” Austin’s eyes widened before his face fell again. “Your…your welcome.”
For the love of God.
Callie frowned a bit. “What?”
Austin shook his head, however, attempting a smile that seemed a bit stiff. “Nothing.”
Callie’s frown deepened however, as she reached up to his face, pressing her fingers to his jaw. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he loosened at her touch and smiled a small smile, “I just had this really stupid thought.”
“What?” Callie raised a curious eyebrow.
“Nothing,” he shook his head yet again, “I was just almost this close to telling you that I love you, but that can’t end well; you are too good for me.”
Callie’s eyes went wide before she blinked once.
“What?” Austin frowned now. And then his expression morphed into one matching Callie’s. “Oh, I er – wait, I, um – damn.”
I snorted once more before picking myself up out of my armchair and heading up to the dormitory.
Austin’s still an idiot, but damn, is he a sweetheart.
~*~
I didn’t know where to find Allison her prince or knight, but I found her something close. Better even, in my opinion.
“You’re making yourself insane,” I told Albus quietly after a good hour of silence.
The fire he was staring at was dead, and the common room had become slightly cold.
Albus seemed to sense my shiver, and he silently reached across the sofa and pulled me towards his warmth without looking at me.
I looked at him, however, taking in the darker shade of emerald in his eyes and the set of his jaw.
There are very few moment of this winter that I can recall. The last couple of months had been a hazy blur. There were short times that I could remember, however, small moments that were somewhat significant to me in some way. Moments that were a slight stray from monotony or were profound in their monotony. I suppose my brain was sort of shut off for the past few months, but at these moment, my mind whirled back to life.
Everything felt like a jumble of snapshots, strung together with no flow or order, bouncing around, up and down in no real pattern.
But this lack of flow and the selection of moments that stood out highlighted the winter and everything that went with it.
This moment, for example, was one of the shortest, a millisecond in the spectrum of eternity. But this was also a moment that defined an eternity, Allison’s at least.
Albus Potter wasn’t a knight or a prince, but, God, there couldn’t have been a person better.
A/N: This one is honestly a little too dramatic, even in my opinion. But I guess the characters really did take a life of their own and do things I really didn't want them to do. They're all stupid, I guess. But the next chapter is better, I think.
I liked the last one even better, actually, but there wasn't much love for it I guess? Not my absolute favorite I guess, and it was short...but they're getting longer again!
But moving on. Rina hit Allison! I was a bit shocked at her too, but I was getting so mad at Allison that all I wanted to do was slap her across the face, and then Rina did it for me. Intense, I know, and I'm really not sure how I feel about it. But what did you think of Austin in this, because I was a bit iffy on the stupidity/fluffiness of him and Callie. I try to stay out of the box but not dumb, but I don't know.... And then there was Albus.... I personally laughed when I wrote about him throwing the book in the fire (poor third year). And I don't know how I feel about the fact that it's actually something he would do in all seriousness. Clearly, he was upset. For some reason, I really loved the very last scene of this one, even though it was tiny. Albus is clearly a brooder, but I love him.
Oh, and someone asked this in a review and I forgot to answer it, and I don't want people to think that i was avoiding it for a reason. Albus DOES NOT like Rina. That is very much emphasized. I was really afraid when I started writing them that it would seem like that, but I could think of another way to write them that would capture them. I guess They're the type of friends that everyone that doesn't know them thinks there's something going on, but there really isn't. When you know them, I guess it's clear, even though they could work if htey wanted to, which they don't. Albus literally sees her like Lily; I think he may have even said so, or he will. but yeah, I want to make sure we all know that, because i don't want the course of the stroy to mess with anyone's heads. Actually, Albus likes Allison. A lot. Just putting it out there.
(I rhink my A/Ns need to get shorter...)
Disclaimer: Recognizable things aren't mine.
Chapter 13: Progress, Thank Merlin
This is awkward.
It took me a few moments to pull the spoon out of my mouth and lower it slowly back to my tub of ice cream.
James, however, was still standing there, looking at me.
After a few more minutes of staring at each other, he gave in and stepped into the kitchen, walking over to my ice cream.
He didn’t say anything, but he grabbed a bowl and a nearby ice cream scoop, scooped himself a big bowl, and went over to the other end of the table with a spoon.
I blinked at him.
And then I blinked at my ice cream.
And then I blinked at him again.
He was blatantly ignoring my existence, however, so I eventually turned back to my ice cream as well.
It was still awkward.
It was funny, really, how ridiculous my life had gotten over the winter, and yet, it was circling back to an issue with James. Things hadn’t exactly sorted themselves out with Allison, but they were starting to calm. A bit. A really tiny bit.
I suppose the general freshness of March and spring were helping me to clear my head, and so I was able to take a bit of a step back enough to evaluate the situation (as if it were an Arithmancy equation or something), before diving back in.
I’d decided that we need to let Allison cool down again, so we’d been leaving her alone for now, taking the time to regroup (like a spy mission). Obviously, we needed a more tactful approach, because Allison is insanely stubborn, and our meddling had so far only pushed her farther away. I’d figured that she was drifting away, but this was too much. We couldn’t get on her again without figuring things out yet.
It seemed that so far, I was the only one to know of Albus’s exact feelings for Allison, Albus included. (And then people say I don’t know things about the business of love). I’d convinced the others to let him be as well, though we’d managed to calm Louis down enough to keep his head around her now.
Albus was always in a mood nowadays, and I found it ironic that he’s generally one of the most patient people I’ve ever known. I suppose he’s like James in that; there’s that short list of things that set him off as well.
Callie’s hysterics were much better under control now, thanks to Austin. The fact that the dolt had finally managed to figure things out had put her in a fantastic mood, and then there’s the fact that Austin has his general tendency to always keep people in a good mood, even if he isn’t snogging them. She was more level headed now, so there were much less tears.
There was also less shouting from Rose, though I think that may have more to do with the fact that she’s so worn out. Scorpius has been forcing her to breathe again (much too her dismay), and she’s been allowing herself to calm down from time to time.
All in all, things were almost normal again.
Almost.
“How’s Quidditch practice going?” I asked suddenly, looking up across the table to James.
He looked up slowly and just stared at me for a moment, but I didn’t avert my gaze.
No one was talking about practice anymore, and I was genuinely worried about everyone. I could tell that it was still taking a toll on them all, but they weren’t saying anything.
“There’s less shouting,” James finally answered.
I was startled for a moment by the jolt that ran through me at the sound of his voice. My stomach flipped slightly, and suddenly, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from him.
He was still James, with that indifferent expression as he looked at me, the slight set of his jaw, and a hardness in his eyes.
But he was also still James. I could see the stress on his face, the exhaustion due to school and Quidditch and the future. Having his heart so set on professional Quidditch, one would think that he would set classes aside, but James had never been one to be like that. He was taking on everything, and I doubt he’s going to graduate with nothing less than nine N.E.W.T.s and seven team offers. James is just the type of person.
It seemed as if it was too much for him. I could see it in his face that he took on too much responsibility. Aside from school and his career, there was his family. He was a lot like Albus, and that meant that he was insanely protective and made it a first priority to keep an eye on everyone every day. He looked after everyone, and if anything went wrong at any time, he would take the blame, and the guilt would drive him to take on the responsibility to fix things. Even when it wasn’t up to him, he made everything into a personal mission.
Lucas Mulkins was Head Boy, and James volunteered to help him with patrols or feasts or anything else, lest his friend “take on too much.” He left his Runes essay aside to aid struggling first years in Charms. He stayed up late getting Tristan caught up in classes he skipped after his detentions for skiving in the first place. He went up to the Hospital Wing to bring a Pepper-Up Potion back for Emily Harris when she wasn’t feeling well. He helped Professor Miller clean the Potions room after somebody’s cauldron blew up.
It seemed as if he did everything.
He did too much, and it was making him insane, taking too much out of him. Just taking the responsibility for it all was messing him up.
And yet, staring at him, I could still make out James, the funny and charming bloke with the constant smirk and never-ending laugh.
He was somewhere in there.
“That’s good,” I finally spoke, “Less shouting.”
James nodded slightly. “Too bad everyone’s too distracted.”
My stomach dropped this time as my thoughts immediately jumped to Callie. Only after Quidditch practice did she seem off these days.
Allison was tough, so she could pretend like she was fine and go on with practice, but Callie was different. She could still handle it, better than the girl who quit, at least, but her anxiety was more obvious. She couldn’t push the memory away like Allison could.
“How’s Callie?” I asked carefully.
“We have to summon the Snitch at the end of every practice,” he replied monotonously.
I felt the urge to do something, anything that could make this better, but I couldn’t think of anything. All I could see was the horror-struck look on Callie’s face as her eyes followed James zipping through the sky, only distracted by the forms of Fred, Louis and Austin in the air as well.
“Lawrence doesn’t know any of the plays,” James went on.
“Can he chase?” I asked.
“Not with Allison and I,” he answered.
He wouldn’t say, but I knew what he meant. Ericson could never be in tune with Allison and James and the rest of the team like I had been. He didn’t have it in him to be on a Quidditch team. He could play, but he couldn’t melt into the unit of the team.
It was silent again for a moment as I returned back to my ice cream. A few minutes later, however, James broke the silence.
“What happened to my brother?”
I looked up at him and knew before I did what I was going to see.
Something else he hadn’t been able to take proper care of. Control was slipping.
“Allison,” I answered him.
James sent me a blank expression.
I mentally rolled my eyes before explaining, “He fancies her. And she thinks she isn’t worth anyone’s fancy.”
His jaw locked. “That’s the problem?”
I nodded solemnly.
“Why?”
“We’re trying to figure it out,” I told him.
“You’re eating ice cream!”
I raised my eyebrows at his outburst, but I managed to rein in my own anger. James’s frustration was mounting with the knowledge of something else he couldn’t help.
“You’re team’s in shambles and you’re eating ice cream as well,” I pointed out to him calmly. (Ha, I manage to respond to James calmly. Apocalypse).
James stared me down for a moment before slumping, somewhat defeated.
Touché.
“He’s a lot like you,” I spoke again, referring to Al. “It’s eating at him, as if it was his sole responsibility to prove her worth to her, and it’s his fault and his failure.”
James just looked back at me.
“Whatever it is though,” I went on, “it was out of his control. If it had been up to him, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“You think?” James question carefully.
I nodded. “He can’t control everything; he’s only human.”
James set his spoon down and got up from the table.
He didn’t turn, but he did pause at the portrait as he pushed it open. “Goodnight, Ara.”
~*~
The fact that James no longer entirely hated me sparked a new determination in my mind to sort this out.
I remember telling Austin that some things aren’t supposed to be planned. Sometimes, it’s just up to the gut.
Allison had been weary of me after I slapped her, but on this night, she had forgotten to scope things out before bursting into the dormitory with her shirt inside out.
I glanced up at her from my laundry before returning to folding clothes. “You forgot your bra.”
She blinked at me for a moment before glancing around from Rose to Callie.
“If you hit me again, I’ll hex you,” she finally spoke.
“Then don’t say stupid stuff,” I shrugged.
Allison didn’t say anything but I figured she was glaring at me in annoyance as I folded a shirt.
“Who told you that?” my gut asked as I finally looked back up at her. “Who told you that you’re a whore?”
Allison blinked at me for a moment before spinning around on her heel.
Rose was across the room lightning fast and gripped her arm, yanking her back.
“Allison.” Her eyes demanded an answer.
She stared at her for a moment before her eyes slowly sought out Callie and I.
Her eyes were as resolute as ever, but in a moment, I saw a waver.
She turned back to Rose’s still unyielding gaze, and I saw an ever so slight slumping of her shoulders.
Rose saw it too, because her eyes flickered before softening ever so slightly.
“Ethan,” Allison finally answered.
Fuck.
Exchanging looks with Rose and Callie, I knew that we were all thinking the same thing.
Fuck.
Suddenly, this was so much simpler and so much worse.
Rose had gently pulled Allison towards her bed, sitting her down and sitting next to her as Callie and I joined them.
My mind was still reeling.
I’d thought that Ethan Sandler had been nothing.
Allison had dated him for a couple of months at the start of fifth year. He’d been a sixth year at the time and in Hufflepuff. They’d been pretty good together too, at least at first.
Allison started getting annoyed with him as soon as we did, however. He was just a little too possessive and high-maintenance, and he had the annoying habit of always trying to tell Allison what to do.
It had been just a faze, however, because he grew out of it after a while. Their relationship eventually became more of them just being together. They liked each other enough, I suppose, to still be together without always being together. This was around where Allison got bored.
We hadn’t minded much when she announced that she was going to break up with him, and he was done and dusted a week later after she told us that she’d done it. There hadn’t even been any real change in her.
It was a few weeks later that she slept with the Ravenclaw, “can’t remember his name,” and I suppose the rest is history.
I never thought that Ethan Sandler had anything to do with it. He’d moved that next summer, and we never saw him again, and Allison didn’t mention him once after the break up. We rarely even saw him for the rest of the year after they broke up, and the pair had always been indifferent to each other.
Which is why, clearly, this is a problem.
“Do you remember the Ravenclaw?” Allison asked after we waited somewhat patiently for a couple of minutes.
“Which one?” Rose asked starkly.
“The one,” she insisted, “I can’t remember his name.”
I nodded, exchanging looks with Rose.
“I slept with Ethan first.”
Callie’s eyes went wide.
“I don’t even know why,” she went on, “I’d almost decided to dump him.”
Oh, for Merlin’s sake.
“I even had sex with him a couple more times, but it sucked, so I broke up with him.”
My head was already starting to hurt.
Allison was still absentmindedly looking at her hands as she went on. “I told him so, too, and he laughed. I’d already broken up with him, so it was too late by the time he pointed it out. I didn’t have much going for me in the first place and now I wasn’t a virgin either. Actually, I’d just slept with him and dumped him, so I was already practically a whore. At the time, I’d thought that it was pretty ridiculous, so I just scoffed a bit and left.”
My head was really hurting.
“Apparently, though, he’d been right,” Allison continued bitterly. “A lot of guys had been asking me for a hook up after that. I thought they were stupid at first, but when the Ravenclaw came up to me after dinner that night, I realized that he was probably right. Apparently everyone else had already decided that I was a whore.
“I eventually figured that it was a bit stupid and ridiculous,” she conceded, “but I figured it a bit too late. By that time, I already was a whore, and it was too late to go back. I’m really not worth much now, am I?”
That one was a jab at my heart.
“Allie,” Callie spoke softly, covering her hands gently with her own. “That’s not true.”
Allison finally looked up to her with a raised eyebrow. “Really, now?”
“Yes, really!” Rose practically shrieked. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Rose,” Allison spoke calmly, “I shag guys when I’m bored. That pretty much says it all.”
“No,” Rose seethed through clenched teeth, “it doesn’t.”
“Who said it’s too late?” I asked her, meeting her eyes.
She snorted. “Can you think of any good guy that would want to have anything to do with a girl that’s been around as much as I have?”
“Yes.”
“No!” she practically screamed, her iron mask suddenly breaking. “No, you can’t! I’m just not good enough anymore! My reputation will always precede me!”
“Allison –“
“That’s what happened to Mum, isn’t it?” she went on, bordering on hysterical now. “That’s what she did, and when it was too late, it was too late; there’s never any going back.”
And with her tears, that’s where we hit.
Allison’s mother had run up a reputation of her own back in her day. Her dad had found out about it and he left.
They hadn’t been married or anything. They’d only been together for a month or so before Marie Harper got pregnant. He’d been less than pleased to learn of her reputation and he’d ended any form of a relationship. He supported Allison though, sending her mum money regularly, asking after her health now and again. But that was it.
“It’s not like I don’t talk about things, you guys,” she said quietly, looking at us through her tears. “I talked to Mum, and I tried to sort it out. Really, I did, but she said that it was too late.”
“She didn’t,” Callie insisted imploringly.
The idea broke my heart a bit, too.
“She says that everyone has a chance,” Allison conceded, “But that’s all it is. She lost hers, and I think I’ve missed mine, too.”
“I don’t,” I stated bluntly.
“That’s not what she meant,” Callie said softly.
Allison didn’t respond.
This was going to work itself out, I could feel it. I had something to work with now, and it was suddenly so much simpler.
But it was harder, too.
It ran too deep, I realized.
The thing with trust is that it’s just so damn difficult. It always feels like it’s too much to give to someone when trying to hand it over. And then when someone has it, it’s difficult to remember how they got a hold of it.
Trust was never something that was really given. Trust always decided on its own who to go to, so that never really left anyone with much of a choice in the matter.
It was simple because Allison didn’t have much of a choice left. It was difficult, because she didn’t realize that Trust had already handed itself over. That was where the problem was; realizing it.
She was staring at me incredulously through her tears.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Allison cry. She’s always been strong, ironclad, sometimes bordering on icy. She was always too tough for tears, it seemed, too good for them. She always worked things out before it reached the point of tears.
Some people just naturally cried easily, like Rose or Callie. Others, like Allison, could take a lot more before the tears came. It would take a lot to make Allison cry.
But I suppose this is a lot. This whole business is a bit overwhelming.
She was shaking her head at me now. “Can you think of anyone who would think I’m worth anything? That I’m worth ignoring the things I’ve done?”
“Yes,” I answered her again resolutely. I have never been more certain of an answer in my life.
Allison stared at me, her amber eyes melting. “Can you?” She was meant to be questioning my doubtfully, but the trace of hope escaped into her voice.
I was the only one who knew, apart from James, so I figured I shouldn’t say anything. Not yet. I had a game plan, though, and I intended for this to end well.
I knew it would, so I nodded to her determinedly.
Allison’s eyes glimmered a bit before she shook her head slightly and turned away.
I figured it was about time for me to start poking my love arrows around at another oblivious idiot’s stupid arse.
Damn it, why are guys so generally stupid?
~*~
I spent a good day teetering around a bit before I made a decision.
I figured the others might be upset with me when they find out, but people are different. They have their strengths and weaknesses, and there are things they’re good at and things they’re not. It’s a general fact of life. If I wasn’t the one that knew, I doubted anyone would call me in for help, because I suppose the situation does demand a bit of sensitivity and tact, not to mention that everyone thinks that I don’t know anything about the business to start with.
Callie’s the embodiment of sensitivity, and she’s good with people. Scorpius is also good with people, and he’s got a level head. Louis’s pretty level-headed, too, if a bit of a Weasley, but his being a Weasley helps, actually. He knows Albus better than anyone else, except Rose, but she’s a bit nutty, so she’s out of the question.
I was going to do this tactfully, I’d already decided. Boys are a general amount of stupid, but this is different from Austin’s type of oblivious stupidity.
It was Allison, really, and the sad fact that she’d been deceived. She read things in a way that pushed her to her state; the things that made Allison, her person, her character, her family, her friends, her mind, her surroundings, her values, her moral and the way it all made Allison sort of disoriented her. It all attacked her and clouded her, mingling and poking around, until this is all she saw.
Albus didn’t know how to approach it.
I suppose that made sense, though. I sure as hell didn’t know what it would be like to have feelings for someone who’d actually decided she wasn’t worth it. (My feelings were already invested in a general prat who thought he was too good for anyone less than perfect).
That’s where I needed the help. I couldn’t exactly tell Al how to go about handling it if I was lost as well.
Unfortunately, however, the three other teenagers I’d enlisted to help were as clueless as I was.
“But can’t he just tell her?” Louis frowned in a secluded corner of the library. “If he’s decided he fancies her, then it negates everything, doesn’t it?”
Alright, so they’re even more clueless than I am.
Fantastic.
“That’s not it,” Callie shook her head slightly. “She won’t believe it or accept it if she actually thinks she doesn’t deserve it.”
Not all of them, then; maybe there is hope after all.
“But it’s Al,” Scorpius pointed out.
I suppressed a groan.
“That’s the point,” Callie sighed exasperatedly. “He is generally perfect.”
“And he’d been with Melissa for a full year before he had sex with her,” I added, referring to Al’s girlfriend all of last year.
Scorpius and Louis promptly turned red and averted their gaze with the universal I’m-a-guy-this-is-uncomfortable expressions.
I snorted.
“He’s not that special,” Louis mumbled, ignoring my statement entirely.
I rolled my eyes. “It’s true, though,” I insisted. “Even goody-goody Rose didn’t wait that long.”
Scorpius went redder and scooted his chair away slightly as I sent him a pointed smirk and Louis sent him a glare.
Boys.
I rolled my eyes again.
“The point,” I went on, ignoring their idiocies, “is that Albus is a good person. Allie would be more comfortable settling if she had to with someone with a history like hers. Screw ups don’t usually have standards that high.”
“Then why is Callie bothering with Austin?” Scorpius raised an eyebrow.
Louis snorted.
Callie blushed brilliantly and looked down to her hands on the table.
Dear God.
“She’d think Albus is too good for her, and that’s the issue,” I explained, entirely ignoring anyone’s redness. “It’s hard to trust someone to stick around when they’re too good for you.”
“But it’s Al,” Louis repeated. “He’s half Uncle Harry and half Aunt Ginny. He’s an annoyingly noble git.”
I suppressed another groan.
“I think,” Scorpius interjected before I yanked out my hair, “that what she’s trying to say is that Albus’s good points are the issue.”
“Yes,” I nodded gratefully.
“The fact that Al fancies her makes her think that he doesn’t fancy her?” Louis frowned.
“Yes,” I repeated.
Finally, progress.
“But that’s a stupid paradox!”
I groaned again.
“That’s the point!” I cried. “If her reasoning made sense, we would have no problem explaining it to her!”
“But how –“
“She’s a girl, Louis,” I sighed. “We’re all mental.”
Louis blinked at me for a moment before glancing towards Callie, who appeared relatively normal, and then looked back to me. “She’s made it up in her head?”
I nodded.
“But how are you supposed to reason with a girl who’s made things up in her head?” he frowned.
Actual progress.
“That’s what we’re trying to figure out, Louis,” Callie sighed.
“Well, then we’re fucked,” he said matter-of-factly and sat back in his chair.
Idiot.
“No, he’s right,” Scorpius nodded. “All we can do is let her think she’s right until she figures it out on her own.”
“But –“
“There’s not much else that can be done.”
“Sure there is!” I cried.
“Like?” Louis prompted, raising an eyebrow.
I drew a blank.
This is why I’m asking for help, stupid!
“You make us sound like idiots,” Callie accused. “We’re not hopeless.”
“Anyone hear a hypocrite?” Scorpius snorted.
I hit him.
Dick.
“Come on now,” Scorpius laughed, ignoring my pathetic attempt at hurting him, “We have more knowledge in this area than you do.”
“But we’re girls,” Callie reminded.
“You guys know shit about us, remember?” I added.
“We don’t understand how your minds work,” Louis corrected.
“We’re brilliant at handling you though,” Scorpius went on. “We don’t need to understand you to know you.”
I blinked at him.
Damn it.
He was right.
If Allison had decided on this, there was no changing her mind. I doubt even she understood much of why she was thinking what she was thinking. Regardless, only she’d be able to figure out how to sooth her mind. Outside influences were likely to just make it worse.
It’s a bit sad and pathetic that Scorpius and Louis know more than we do.
But then again, I guess it makes sense.
We were shit at handling each other. Rose liked to scream, Callie always got hysterical, Allison got mad, and I was always just mean.
The guys, meanwhile, managed to butt out of our lives long enough to clear our minds. This would be why I always thought guys were better at being friends with us. We girls were always shit to each other.
For example, there’s this moment here, a fantastic example of me being incapable of keeping out of my friends’ lives.
Food helps me to relax, so I’d been spending tons of time down in the kitchens, by myself, eating (pathetic, I know).
Tonight, on my way down, I, once again, ran into Allison.
And, once again, I just about lost my mind in a girl-like fashion.
I shrieked furiously and physically grabbed Allison by the arm and dragged her out of the secret passage, not even bothering to consider glancing at the stupid dick that had her pressed up against the wall.
“Rina!” Allison glowered at me as she yanked her arm back.
“What?” I returned her glare.
“Will you stop it?” she snapped back, raging. “You’re acting like Fred!”
“You expect me to send him a nice thumbs up and be on my way?” I rolled my eyes sarcastically. “I don’t like seeing stupid arsebutts all over you!”
“Now you sound like him, too!” Allison cried. “Stop it! You have no right to butt into my life!”
“I damn well do when you’re fucking around!” I shrieked back. “In fact, it’s my job as a resident best friend to keep you from getting hurt!”
“I’m already hurt!” she cried, this time with actual tears. “You’re a little too late for that, Rina!”
“Well, then I’m supposed to make it better,” I crossed my arms.
She snorted humorlessly. “Sure. Good luck with that.” She began swiping angrily at tears and made to turn away, but I couldn’t let her.
I grabbed her arm again and yanked her back towards me, pulling her into a tight hug. I was surprised, actually, that she melted immediately, clinging to me tightly as she cried into my shoulder.
Allison didn’t like showing emotions, and hugs were out of the question. She had a general tendency to fear physical contact, unless she was shagging some stupid bloke. She didn’t let anyone hug her, ever, hitting even the guys if they tried. She didn’t ever need the comfort. She was too tough.
But right now, she was breaking.
I rubbed her back soothingly, trying to tell her that she’d be alright. She has to be. She’s Allison.
She isn’t supposed to break or cry or need a hug. She doesn’t need people’s comfort.
It took so much to break Allison that the idea of anything driving her to this point made my stomach twist. It made me furious, and it made my heart break.
Allison is my best friend. I’m supposed to keep the world from doing this to her.
~*~
I’m pretty sure I’ve never felt quite so miserable and helpless. My life is chalk-full of difficulties, but this right here is the epitome of helplessness.
My best friend is breaking, and there is nothing I can do about it.
I’d managed to get Allison back to the common room, which was thankfully empty on this Tuesday night.
She was still crying, and the looks on Callie and Rose’s faces when they saw her no doubt mirrored mine. Helpless.
Rose was only like that for a moment, though, before she swooped in and enveloped Allie in a hug of her own. As I watched her lead her to her bed and gently sooth her and help her get changed, I met Callie’s terrified gaze. It was just so scary to see the strongest friends break. It was as if everything had turned on end and the earth was spinning in the wrong direction, as if everything was wrong.
Allison wasn’t supposed to be like this.
I couldn’t handle it.
Callie nodded slightly to me before hurrying off to help Rose with Allison.
I thanked her silently and quickly escaped.
As soon as the door shut behind me, I could breathe again.
I meandered down to the empty common room and curled up in an armchair by the fireplace, finally letting my mind slow down. I didn’t have any food, but I suppose this would have to do.
I wasn’t sure if I could do as Scorpius and Louis had said and let her be.
They’d said that that was the problem; girls couldn’t leave their friends alone. They said that we were too frantic to sort everything ourselves that we made it worse.
I didn’t like that, though. I had to do something. I couldn’t just sit around and watch my best friend break. The guys might be patient, but I sure as hell wasn’t.
I hated to see any of my friends upset. It wasn’t fair. Life always had a tendency to pick on people who didn’t deserve it.
I was a bit startled by the hand on my shoulder, and I jumped around to see Fred looking back down at me with concern.
“What happened?”
I blinked at him for a moment before scooting over in the large armchair to make room for him.
I love Fred. He’s a bit like all the guys rolled into one, always pulling out whatever bit of him that’s needed. In general, he’s just funny, a bit stupid, but tons of fun.
But he’s also brilliant and kind. Sometimes he becomes serious and helpful and just listens, and others he’s nice and comforting, trying to make things better.
Most of the time, when he wasn’t being stupid and funny, it was because he was being angry; he had a temper that made him a clear Weasley. But then, he also had the Weasley way of making me feel as if everything would be alright and I did have a friend for always because he was there.
I didn’t always talk things out with Fred, just because he had that little drawback of always trying to make things better with a joke. It always helped, though, to just sit with him.
He was the type of guy that could be stupid and funny and arrogant and laidback, and yet, it was still so glaringly clear how huge of a heart he has. Guys couldn’t usually be like that and still be such obvious softies. That’s just Fred.
“She’s actually crying,” I told him after a while of silence, “Actually sobbing.”
“She’s only human,” Fred reminded.
I shrugged. “It’s still not right. Not for Allison; she’s tough.”
“So are you,” he turned me to face him, his chocolate brown eyes clear and determinedly serious. “We all went through hell when you cried, too.”
I blinked at him for a moment.
But I didn’t cry. Not usually. Not until this winter.
I’m not exactly sure what the world is coming to.
“She’ll be alright, though,” Fred went on. “She’s a smart girl. And we’re brilliant friends. This is what we do.”
I smiled slightly. “Getting a bit conceited, aren’t we.”
He smirked back. “I’ve always been conceited.”
I rolled my eyes but turned back to the fire, resting my head against his shoulder.
“I’ve missed you Rina,” Fred said after a moment.
I nodded. I hadn’t seen much of him in the past few months. “It’s been a long winter.”
“It’s been a long year,” he corrected. “You’ve been gone for way too long.”
I frowned turning back to him in confusion.
“Rina smiles more,” he explained with a bit of grin. “She likes to laugh, and she’s usually in a good mood. She’s a bit of a sweetheart actually. Tough and snarky, but still so sweet. A walking paradox, I think.”
I turned away from him again, staring at the fire.
That’s what people used to tell me. Until I realized I was such a selfish bitch. People like Albus and Jacob tried to shield me from the world by telling me I’m a nice person, such a sweetheart.
Reality’s a bit cold, isn’t it?
~*~
Something’s not right.
It was my first thought as I woke up, and it took me a bit to figure out what it was.
It was the smell.
It smelt like honey and trees, and a vague little bit like smoke. It smelt like Fred.
The realization took me back to my last memory of sitting by the dying fire with him in the night, and I finally opened my eyes to sit up in his bed.
The hangings were closed and there were voices.
I didn’t move; I listened. (I’m a teenage girl; what would anyone expect me to do?)
“She was upset. What would you have done?”
“Left her there.”
I felt an urge to punch James in the face.
“No, you wouldn’t have,” Fred answered simply as a door (which I presumed to be the bathroom) opened.
“Don’t be a prick, James,” Lucas’s voice sighed tiredly. “And someone wake him up.”
There was a thump, followed by a shout and cursing before another slam.
“Bloody hell!” Fred shouted.
“Don’t be throwing things at me,” Tristan’s voice snapped.
“Class –“
“I’m skipping History,” he cut Lucas off. “Now, fuck off.”
Class.
I had a Charms essay due first thing, so I suppose there’d be no skiving for me.
I suppressed a groan as I pushed the hangings open and climbed off of Fred’s bed and glanced around the dormitory at its four occupants.
“Morning,” Fred grinned as Lucas threw a pillow at Tristan’s almost once-again snoring form.
“Here,” I volunteered, finding a half-filled inkwell on the desk. I unscrewed the lid as I approached a thoroughly stubborn Tristan, buried in his a bed, and smirked a bit as I emptied the contents on his head.
“Oi!” he shot back up as the black liquid slid down his face. “What the hell?”
His furious eyes found me and narrowed as he lunged out of bed.
I ran quickly to the other end of the room and hid behind Fred, who was howling with laughter.
I stood on my toes to see Tristan’s face over Freddy’s shoulder and had to laugh as well.
“I’m going to kill you,” he promised.
I scoffed. “Get dressed for class.”
He grumbled a bit under his breath, unintelligibly, but probably swearing, as he yanked open the bathroom door.
Don’t bring her back here!” he barked at Fred over his shoulder before slamming the door shut.
I smiled gratefully to Fred as he turned to face me, mirth still dancing in his eyes. “I love you.”
I smirked. “I figured so. Thank you.”
He grinned back. “Well, I wasn’t going to leave you in the common room. You’d murder me.”
“In third year, I woke up on the couch with a bunch of fourth years trying to get a good angle with a camera down my shirt,” I defended, crossing my arms. I can’t sleep with a lot of clothes on; I move a lot in my sleep, and it all gets twisted around. (I sleep looking like a whore, so sue me).
“Who? I’ll give ‘em detention,” Lucas offered.
I rolled my eyes but smiled. “Just lend me something, please,” I said, glancing around from him to Fred. “I’m not going down like this.”
I was wearing pajama pants, but the tank top I had on was short, low-cut, and much too tight.
“Here,” Fred handed me one of his sweatshirts.
I pulled it on (it went down to my knees, stupid Freddy the Bear), and glanced back around the room.
Lucas was dressed and waiting patiently on his bed, flipping lazily through a magazine, while Fred had moved on to dig around for a clean shirt. Tristan was still in the shower, and James was in front of a mirror, doing up his tie.
I watched his profile for a moment, his hair a mess and eyes scrunched trying to look down as he did the knot. Once he was done, he looked back into the mirror, straightened the tie a bit, frowned, loosened it, and then ran his fingers through his hair, making it look even more ridiculously insane.
With a satisfied nod, he turned back to his bag, finding various books and gathering them together. Finally, he picked up his Quidditch plays and grinned proudly. As he added them last to his bag, however, he frowned, a bit sadly, and sighed dejectedly as he shifted a few things to make them fit.
He glanced back around to the mirror, still frowning, and ran his fingers through his hair again, though this time, it seemed to fall flat, before he straightened his tie and sighed again, rolling down the sleeves of his shirt.
I turned away.
“Thanks, again,” I said quickly to Fred, who had finally found a shirt, and quickly left the room.
I hurried down the stairs and across the common room, back up to my own dormitory where the girls were just finishing getting dressed as well.
“Where were you?” Rose demanded.
“I fell asleep downstairs,” I answered her, voice a bit muffled as I pulled off the sweatshirt. “Fred took me up.”
She nodded, accepting my explanation and returning to reading over her Charms essay.
“You alright?” Callie frowned.
I jolted from thoughts and realized that I was still standing by the door. “Yeah,” I nodded, stepping into the room and setting about finding a proper outfit. “Just…” I glanced back to her and to Allison as well, “Just do me a favor and at least try at practice today, yeah?”
Callie met my eye for a second and then nodded.
“Alright.”
A/N: James came back! Ithink that's the highlight of this chapter.
And Allison finally came clean. I had to give her some sort of story, but I think she'll be okay now. She's a lot like Rina when you think about it, actually.
And then there was the little meeting Rina held. Good stuff, I thought. Louis and Scorpius are great:) I think I remember answering a few reviews showing them some love, so there you go. I Also thought they brought up a pretty good point about girls;)
I was also happy to write Fred again; I missed him.
Okay, so I know James was a bit of a git in the last scene, but he's getting major attention again, and I actually loved the last bit, but I'm wondering what you guys got from it. This next part is a lot of James development, and I'm trying to ease into it so that it makes sense and stays realistic, so I want to know what you guys think of him through the next couple of chapters. Rina's fianlly going to start developing more of him and revealing things about their relationship, so keep an eye out for the next one. There are some really good scenes in that one with Jamess that I loved writing.
I'll do my best to have the next one out soon! Reviews in the mean time are appreciated. And we all know I sometimes give away good stuff in those replies;)
Disclaimer: What you recognize isn't mine
Chapter 14: Soul Mates and Meant-To-Be
Callie and Austin make me smile.
At first, I’d figured that Rose and Scorpius were just special, but Callie and Austin turn me into a closet romantic as well.
(It’s a bit pathetic, actually).
“Don’t be such a bully!” Callie was laughing as she grabbed Austin’s wand and directed it away from Ericson, whose hair was flashing various shades of magenta and lavender.
“But he’s a git, Cals,” Austin reminded but didn’t redirect his wand.
“That’s still mean,” Callie insisted.
Austin snorted, shaking his head. “Prat doesn’t even know what he’s on about anyway,” he grumbled, glaring at the git-prat across the common room. “He almost took James’s head off with that Quaffle.”
“That could’ve been on purpose,” Callie pointed out. “He was screaming at him all practice.”
“That’s because the prat kept dropping the Quaffle,” Austin reminded. “What a useless piece of shit.”
“James should’ve told you off for Bludgering him,” Callie said.
“He can’t even catch a Quaffle!” Austin cried. “He had no right to criticize your seeking. You could chase better than him any day.”
Callie sighed dejectedly, dropping her head against his shoulder on the sofa. “Perhaps,” she conceded.
Austin rolled his eyes, glancing over to exchange looks with me. He scowled however, when he noticed me smiling at them from my armchair, and he promptly turned away when I sent him a deliberate wink.
“Thanks though,” Callie smiled up at him and kissed him briefly on the lips, entirely oblivious to my smirk.
Austin noticed, however, and scowled at me again over her head.
So entirely perfect and adorable.
“Bloody fuckers,” Allison suddenly collapsed into the armchair next to mine, grumbling as she sent the pair a glare.
Austin and Callie entirely ignored her or just didn’t hear, now caught up in their own quieter conversation.
“They’re not bad,” I glanced around to the blonde as Callie laughed again quietly.
Allison didn’t respond, just averting her gaze.
“They’re more stable than Rose and Scorpius, at least,” I pointed out.
Allison followed my gaze to the pair at a table by the window and snorted.
Rose was trying furiously to retrieve the beginnings of her Arithmancy essay from her blond boyfriend, but he wasn’t relenting. The essay wasn’t due until next week, and Scorpius felt that Rose’s time would be better spent relaxing.
She did not agree.
She was huffing at Scorpius, but he only continued to smirk and shake his head, ignoring her as he banished the essay all together.
As Rose opened her mouth, no doubt to scream at him, Scorpius took the opportunity to silence her with a kiss.
Allison rolled her eyes, but I smiled.
“It’s not bad,” I told her.
Allison shook her head. “I guess not.”
I didn’t say anything else.
I was proud to announce that Allison’s whoring had been receding over the past week.
She seemed more wary of the situation, at least, when she did run off to meet a guy. She hadn’t shagged a single guy today, and only one yesterday.
Allison’s eyes flickered once again to Rose and Scorpius, where the blond was prompting his girlfriend to offer a begrudging smile.
He seemed satisfied with that, however, and smirked triumphantly, saying something else that earned him a full out grin and kiss on the cheek. He responded by recapturing her lips, and even Allison was smiling slightly when she looked away.
“They’re really good together,” she conceded eventually, glancing back over to the couple before us where Austin was still talking and Callie was laughing.
“Hey, Harper,” Harrison Bay sauntered by.
I grabbed her hand as she opened her mouth, and she promptly allowed it to shut again, turning away.
“We have a History assignment,” I glanced briefly at Harrison before gripping Allison’s arm more firmly and pulling her up with me towards the dormitories.
She didn’t speak for a moment as I shut the door, just standing in the middle of the room as I watched her.
And then suddenly, she turned to me with an imploring expression. “Do you really think I can have that?”
I could see it right then, Allison smiling and Albus laughing, curled up in an armchair in front of the fire, so entirely lost in their own world that they were oblivious to the rest of the room.
“Yes,” I told her with more confidence than I’d felt ever before.
The sudden look in her eye told me that it was all downhill from here: hope.
Allison didn’t shag a guy for the rest of the week.
I can’t remember the last time I was so ecstatic. This was my victory.
It was more than just that she wasn’t shagging; she was laughing.
That next Saturday night, at a time at which she’d usually be in a broom closet, she was instead laughing on a couch in the common room, sandwiched in between Fred and Tristan with a mirthful expression on her face all night.
I just couldn’t get over it.
“Didn’t I say?” Scorpius was smiling as well. “She had to do it herself.”
I only nodded, still flooded with excitement. This was good.
Halfway there.
~*~
Louis was in a fantastic mood.
I smiled as I plopped down next to him Sunday morning at breakfast.
“I don’t remember the last time she looked like that,” he responded to my knowing look. “She’s been so busy being hot that I forgot how adorable she is.”
I nodded, glancing down the table a bit to where Allison was pouting at Fred as he held a plate of pancakes away from her. She grew bored of it eventually, however, and stabbed a fork into his arm, smirking triumphantly at his yelp as she caught the plate he dropped.
I shook my head, turning back to Louis who wore the same amused expression. “We used to have tons of fun always.”
“We still have fun,” I said, pouring syrup over my pancakes.
He sent me a look.
“Good times,” I corrected.
He raised an eyebrow.
“Sometimes,” I conceded with a sigh. “I think life is just getting to all of us.”
“It’s ridiculous,” Louis shook his head, turning back to his eggs.
“It’s us,” I rolled my eyes, “We’re generally mental and bipolar; we’ve never been normal. We’ll be fine.”
“No kidding,” Louis rolled his eyes again. “What with all the sugar Rina’s been getting hopped up on lately.”
I hit him upside the head but smiled anyway. Something about the look in Louis’s eye told me we were in for an interesting next few months.
Before I could question him, however, Rose had dropped into the seat across from me in a huff, ignoring her stupid boyfriend rolling his eyes in amusement as he took the seat next to her.
“What’d you do?” Louis raised an eyebrow with a similar expression.
“I told her that she doesn’t have to do her Charms essay until later tonight,” Scorpius answered.
Rose sent him a glare.
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned before, but Rose and Scorpius make my life.
They’re the definition of soul mates and meant-to-be. If I died an old cat-lady, I’d still believe in love, solely because of Rose and Scorpius.
Rose is consistently grumbling about him, complaining and yelling and generally claiming he’s a stupid prat and she hates him. But she’s never denied she loves him. I asked her once why she loved him, and she just stomped her foot and grumbled, “He’s a prat.”
And Scorpius takes it all in stride. He’s always so generally happy about Rose. No matter how much she complains about him and shouts that she hates him, he never gives in. He’s always trying to calm her down, taking away her homework, feeding her, getting her to bed on time, always being there. When Austin would snort at them or shake his head, Scorpius would always shrug and agree that she’s insane.
They’re the definition of love: in love without a clue as to why.
(God, I’m so fucking cheesy).
“What’s wrong with you?” Rose raised an eyebrow at me across the table.
I realized I was grinning like a fool at her and her dumb boyfriend and only shook my head.
“You love him,” I nodded towards the blond next to her.
Rose huffed and went back to her toast.
Scorpius glanced around to me with a roll of his eyes but with that same smile Rose always set on his face.
Fucking prats; I’m jealous.
“I better get them going,” Louis stood, and nodded towards where Allison was sat with Fred. “We’ve got practice starting now.”
I frowned down the table to where Callie and Austin were eating breakfast across from Fred and Allison.
“Where’s James at?”
Louis shrugged. “He’s always buried in plays by the time we get down there. Fred says that he was up around 6:00 last Friday for 9:00 practice.”
Rose snorted. “I cannot believe it’s Sunday and you don’t have to practice until 10:30.”
I frowned a bit at that as well.
“It was supposed to be 8:00, but James came around the dorm around 6:00 to say he was pushing it back.”
“He’s been up since 6:00?” I raised an incredulous eyebrow.
Louis shrugged.
“Down at the pitch?”
“Probably,” he shrugged again.
“Breakfast isn’t out until 8:00 on the weekends!” I cried.
Louis raised an eyebrow.
“James is an idiot,” Rose shrugged, agreeing with my sentiments.
I glared around the food-laden table, grumbling to myself.
This is what I meant when I said James makes himself insane. I’m positive this isn’t healthy.
I found my wand and began using it to stack a large plate with various foods until I had to use magic to keep everything from toppling over. With an apple on top of the pile, I nodded with satisfaction and handed the plate to Louis, Balancing Charm in place, as he walked by again with the rest of the team in tow.
“Breakfast,” I answered to Allison’s raised eyebrow. “Pushing practice back another half-hour won’t kill him.”
Louis sent me a look as he took the plate but didn’t comment.
Prat. I know I like the git; obviously, I’m going to care if James eats.
“Thank God we have you,” Rose sighed, reaching for the blueberries.
I turned back to her questioningly.
“It was getting annoying being the only one that cares,” she explained.
“You’re not the only one who cares,” Scorpius nudged her. “You’re just the only one who’s annoying about it.”
She humphed and turned away from him.
Scorpius answered with another eye roll and went back to his own breakfast.
~*~
Now I’m mad.
I guess James is still good at that.
“What do you mean he didn’t have time?” I demanded of Fred, arms crossed across my chest.
The Weasley shrugged with his mouth full of food. “Tha’s wha’ ‘e ‘aid.”
I made a face at him.
James had finally released the team for food at 2:00, and they were all wolfing it down in the kitchens.
I’d been working on my Potions essay when they all trooped in. (Yes, I did homework in the kitchens).
Apparently, however, this did not mean that James had released himself for food as well.
What a prat.
“We’ll take him back something,” Callie assured quickly.
“How much breakfast did he eat?”
Callie shifted a bit in her seat and looked back to her plate.
“He had the apple,” Allison answered, glancing up and rolling her eyes. “I told him I’d hex him if he didn’t eat anything else, but he threatened to kick me off the team and made me run laps for delaying practice.”
Prat.
“Alright, Rina,” Louis pushed me back down in my chair. “Let’s not start acting like Rose.”
I sent him an annoyed glare.
“I understand how you feel about him – “
“Inexplicably,” Allison added.
“ – but you need to breath,” Louis went on.
“You’re cousin’s a prat,” I responded.
Louis rolled his eyes. “I know.”
“He made me run laps for ‘harboring interest’ in delaying practice when I told him Allison had a point that he should eat something,” Austin piped up.
I groaned, closing my eyes. I’d honestly thought that Quidditch practice would be better now that I’d quit, but it turns out that without me to direct his fury at, James was taking it out on everyone else now.
I sighed, glancing around to the team, all shoveling food, Ericson a little ways away at his own table. I looked back to Louis, who was watching me, and motioned to his plate, which he returned to.
Now, I know that James is still generally furious with me for ruining his future and being a bitch, but I do actually care for the prat.
He may hate me and treat me terribly, but I do know James, and I know how he treats everyone else. James is a generally good person, and while he may not necessarily deserve for me to care, he does deserve to have someone keeping an eye on him.
I know Rose is always pestering him, but Scorpius has been trying to get her to lay off because it’s stressing her out so much. Callie’s not nearly so assertive, and Allison just gets mad at him. Rachel and Emily try, but James tends to shut people out when he feels attacked. I know that he listens to Stacey Hart, at least, but she’s not here right now.
Which leaves Rina.
Lucky me.
I pulled out my wand again and found another large plate, piling food and adding a Balancing Charm before I picked it up.
“He gave you guys an hour, yeah?” I glanced over my shoulder to the team.
Louis nodded. “Forty minutes now.”
I sighed and stepped out of the kitchens, heading up through the castle.
As I stepped out onto the grounds, I found that it was actually a rather nice day for Quidditch. The ground was a little wet from yesterday’s rain, but the sky was blue and the sun was out. The air felt cool and fresh in a way it could only after a rainstorm, before the heat had a chance to set in and the moisture remained in the air. Today, it smelled like spring.
I grinned at the thought as I entered the Quidditch pitch.
And then I stopped.
I looked up at the towering goal posts and looming stands, and I remembered that this was the place I loved so much, spending nights and days suspended in the air on a broomstick. Those broomsticks that my idiot friends still couldn’t get enough of, up in the air hundreds of feet from the ground.
Oh God.
I took a shuddering breath and closed my eyes.
It’s just the Quidditch pitch.
The last time I was here, I quit.
I remembered that day, icy and cold with the wind howling. It seemed eons ago, but it was only months.
I didn’t even miss it. I didn’t miss my broom and the Quaffle. I didn’t even think about it.
Now that I did, however, I missed enjoying it.
I looked back up to the goal posts and shuddered.
It’s too high.
I wish I could love it again.
I looked back down at the plate and took a deep, steadying breath, before stepping towards the changing rooms.
I closed the door after myself quietly, looking around the small building.
A wave of nostalgia hit me, and I wished I could enjoy Quidditch again, just for this building with its lockers and benches and showers where I lived for two and a half years.
I probably showered more in these showers then the ones in the dormitories for those two and a half years.
I set the plate down on a bench as I stepped into the room, towards the lockers.
I reached my old one and pulled it open.
That scrunching gel was still sitting there on the top shelf.
Eyeliner and lotion sat next to it, along with shampoo and conditioner. The bottles were almost empty; I was going to replace them, but then I never had to.
Albus’s stupid giant sweatshirt was still hanging on a hook, and there was a folded stack of long-sleeved shirts at the bottom. A few mismatched socks sat on top of them, and folded yoga pants and sweatpants were stacked next to them.
“What are you doing here?”
I jumped and whirled around to find James at the doorway to the Captain’s office, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.
I blinked at him for a moment and shook my head quickly, closing my eyes.
I missed it so much.
I stopped the tears before they fell and remembered.
“Lunch,” I opened my eyes again.
James was still looking at me inquisitively, so I quickly motioned to the plate on the bench.
“They said you didn’t have time to come up and you barely touched breakfast…” I trailed off, my eyes wandering back to my locker.
James was silent.
“I don’t even know why your stuff is still here,” he spoke after a moment.
I took it all in again and shook my head helplessly. “Me neither.”
“Callie shouldn’t have bothered,” he spoke again as I turned back to him. “I’m not going to eat that.”
I opened my mouth, and then I closed it again.
I closed the locker quietly and sat down next to the plate on the bench.
“Why not,” I turned back to face him.
“I don’t have time!” he cried.
“For food?” I raised an eyebrow. “Are you a Weasley or not?”
“I can’t get anyone to play right and no one tries and no one’s paying attention and no one cares anymore!” James shouted. “No one cares and they don’t try and I’m so entirely screwed!”
I stared at him.
“My entire bloody future is three months away and I have nothing for it!” he ran frustrated fingers through his hair and then dropped his hand with a sigh. “What the hell am I supposed to do now?”
I looked at the pile of broomsticks in the corner and brushed my hair from my eyes. “They love you, you know,” I told him. “No one would’ve finished that game for any other captain. We would’ve forfeited after Louis’s hands and Fred’s arm, and Austin side. We wouldn’t have let you fly,” I looked back up at him. “I wouldn’t have played.”
James stared back at me with an unreadable expression.
“You quit,” he spoke eventually.
I nodded.
“Why?”
I looked to the broomsticks again and longed for mine. I wish I could get up there again.
I turned back to him with a helpless shrug. “I’m a pathetic Gryffindor,” I answered eventually, getting up from the bench. “You should eat.”
He looked at the plate again.
“Something,” I pressed. “I had to put two Balancing Charms on that to keep it from toppling over, and I know that you actually like every single thing I put on that plate.”
He turned back to me.
I met his gaze as he stared, his hazel eyes swirling ever so slightly. James was in there, his determination and his endless smile.
I turned away and stepped out of the changing rooms and onto the pitch.
~*~
“I miss you.”
Albus looked up from his Defense chapter with a raised eyebrow.
“Where have you been?”
“Library,” he answered, gesturing around to the surrounding bookshelves.
I rolled my eyes, plopping down into the seat across from him.
If it isn’t already, I’d like to make it general knowledge that I have a tendency to get involved in everyone’s lives. So, if I were to see the opportunity to meddle, I’d jump right in, no questions.
My plans, while usually being the halfway, as-I-go types of plans, are pretty damn clever and cunning, too.
Not to mention my generally flawless execution.
And action.
“How much have you missed me?”
He raised an eyebrow again. “What happened?”
“I talked to James,” I began.
Albus seemed to be suppressing a groan as he closed his book and set it down.
“No, really,” I insisted. “I talked to him, and there was no shouting!”
“None?” Albus raised (yet another) disbelieving eyebrow.
“Well, I didn’t shout,” I amended, “And when he did it wasn’t at me. He’s upset with the team. He’s probably still mad at me for quitting, but he didn’t yell at me!”
This is huge for us; really.
“And what did you discuss?” Albus inquired.
Cue hesitation.
I’m not actually that pathetic over a conversation with James (even with the lack of shouting).
But he and Albus are best friends. (The brilliance).
“I’m worried.”
Albus ran a hand through his hair and nodded with a sigh.
“I mean, he could do anything if he didn’t play Quidditch; he’s brilliant, but he’s an amazing Quidditch player as it is.”
Albus nodded in agreement. “He’s just James.”
“I wish someone would tell him that; that he’ll be okay,” I went on with a sigh, glancing out the window. The pitch was visible from the library, and I could just make out the team zooming around. (I’m not being spurious, I promise).
“You want me to talk to him?” Albus asked after a while.
Success.
I nodded, turning back to him. “He’s your best friend and your brother, and he knows you’re just like him.”
“In what way?” Al frowned.
Cue planning-as-I-go.
“Making yourself crazy,” I explained, leaning towards him slightly as I rested my elbows on the table top. “You can’t control everything.”
“When have I –“
“That’s where you’ve been,” I interrupted. “This is what you guys do when you lose control; you shut out. James has been holed up in that little office, and you’ve been making yourself scarce ever since Allison and I.”
His emerald eyes met mine, appearing hard, like the stone itself.
They knew I was planning but they also knew that I meant it. I’m a genuine meddler, so I have to mean it, and he has to know that. It isn’t often that we reverse roles; he’s usually the one fixing me.
His emeralds continued to bore into me, searching. That’s another thing they both did a lot: denial. They wouldn’t even realize that they weren’t admitting something, so caught up in shutting down, and they instead searched for it with that intense, unending stare, just trying to figure out what they were missing.
“It really hurts to think that I’m such a shitty friend,” he finally spoke.
I closed my eyes, feeling myself deflate in my chair. “You aren’t,” I told him. “I’m just Rina.”
His hand covered mine on the table top as he spoke again. “You’ve always known that you’re like my sister. How could I ever dislike you?”
I opened my eyes to meet his again. The emeralds were melting.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged helplessly. “I – I get it now.”
Albus’s intent look remained on me for another moment before he nodded slowly.
“But you’ve still been gone.”
The melting emerald began to freeze again.
“I know where you’ve been, and I know you’ve figured it out in the past few weeks,” I went on vigilantly.
He tore his gaze away from mine, retracting his hand.
I didn’t say anything as he stared out the window. Getting through to Albus was always a precarious matter.
I reached out again slowly after a while, this time covering my relatively smaller hand over his. “It’s just an effect of her life,” I attempted tentatively.
“Like you?” he asked without a questioned, not turning his head.
He probably sensed my nodding however, because he turned back suddenly with a fire behind his stony eyes. “I was supposed to have a say in your life,” he snapped. “You and Allison. What does it say about my efforts?”
“What does it say how much you mean to Allison and I?” I countered. “Neither one of us would be the same people we are without you.”
He snorted.
“You make me feel like someone always cares,” I revealed to him. “And you’re her hope.”
Albus raised an incredulous eyebrow.
I snorted, attempting a bit of a smile. “Someone like her Albus is in love with her? She has to be the better person you know she is.”
The fire seemed to die.
“You’d be good for her,” I succeeded in a smile this time as he blushed slightly. “And she for you. You know how she is with prats.”
Albus snorted at that. “I’d predict a good amount of physical abuse in a future with her.”
“Only because you’re you,” I grinned. “You don’t seem to be able to tone down the Potter.”
“I’m proud of the Potter,” he defended.
I nodded. “It’s what makes you so good.”
His liquid emeralds now swirled.
Score for Rina.
~*~
“They have those…blowhole things.”
“If they lived on land, they wouldn’t need them!”
“They don’t have feet.”
“Neither do snakes!”
“Yeah, but bone structure and everything –“
“Evolution is stupid.”
“Don’t take it out on evolution, James,” Stacey Hart rolled her eyes but smiled.
“Did you know that evolution suggests that humans are generally afraid of the dark because the human trait to not fear the dark died out?” James questioned, leaning forward in his chair.
Stacey raised an eyebrow, brushing blonde hair out of her eyes.
“Seriously,” he propped his elbows up on the table, speaking with earnest. “It’s called nature’s selection or some – “
“Natural selection, James,” I corrected quietly, letting the portrait hole shut as I stepped into the common room.
He glanced into the shadows as I stepped further into the room until the firelight could reach me.
“Right,” he nodded once he could see my face before turning back to Stacey, “Natural selection. Whales that had legs and couldn’t swim died out, right?” he glanced back around to me, still halfway across the room.
I couldn’t help the small smile as I nodded slightly. “Something like that. I never liked muggle sciences.”
“Right,” he turned back to the blonde across from him, “It’s some pretty crazy stuff.”
“I survived the dying process because I’m afraid of the dark?” she raised another eyebrow.
James shrugged. “That’s what she says,” he jerked a thumb towards me.
But he didn’t look around this time; Stacey did.
Her icy eyes met mine across the common room for just a moment, except, they were like water, melted.
It was only a moment, and then she turned away again.
“Muggles are mental,” she spoke again.
“No kidding,” James was nodding again. “Fred takes Muggle Studies, and he’s always talking about bombs, I think it is. They use them to blow each other up.”
I hurried from the room quickly because I was smiling again, and then for some reason, I was upset.
I turned back from the first landing and looked down.
He was talking with his hands; in this moment, there wasn’t a care in the world.
The table they were sat at was strewn with charts and diagrams and plays and James’s reading glasses were set on top of a haphazard pile of playbooks. His hair was everywhere, distinctly hassled, and his eyes were tired.
“The Americans actually put a flag on the moon, you know…”
And he was wearing that same expression, fascinated, that he wore when we sat up late at that table years ago, homework forgotten as I told him everything that was now spilling from his mouth with the hints of passion that always spurred a debate or discussion in the dead of night.
And for a moment, the stress on his face was left behind his expression, a flicker of life in his hazel eyes and the ghost of a smile lingering on his lips.
And Stacey Hart was listening.
A/N: This chapter makes me feel all fluffy!
Lol, I think it's Rose and Scorpius's fault:)
I really enjoyed writing Rina in this; I'm trying to establish another side of her character. This one is very much girl-like and protective and caring. I like her:)
And what about James? This was my favorite chapter to write him in. I particularly loved when they were in the changing rooms. Big moments, I felt like, as we'll see later;)
And then there was the conversation between Rina and Albus. That was just sweet, I thought, and a really good characterization of their relationship.
What 'm really curious to hear from you guys about, though, is what we make of that last scene. James and Stacey? They're relationship is intersting, too, I think, and so is Stacey's character. I want to know what you think of her no and in the next one, and later, too. The next chapter is devoted to Stacey's character development, so it's interesting.
But, I have to go to work, now, so review, please!
Disclaimer: I don't own what you already recoginize.
Chapter 15: The Thing With Stacey
“Please stop it,” Stacey Hart dropped into the seat across from me in the library.
I looked up at her over my book and lowered it slowly.
“Stop what, exactly?”
“Messing with him,” she answered immediately, pushing perfect blonde locks behind her ear.
I raised an eyebrow.
“James is going mental enough as it is and with you guys falling out and you quitting over some grudge –“
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I interrupted, trying my very hardest to remain calm.
“I do though,” she opposed, “You were good friends, I know, though I haven’t a clue what happened. What I do know is that he’s making himself mad, so just don’t make it worse. Your quitting is about as bad as it can get.”
I sighed. I probably didn’t owe her an explanation, but I was getting sick of this. “That’s not why I quit,” I told her.
“Then why did you?” she demanded.
“Think about it,” I snapped, slamming the book shut and suddenly glaring at her.
She was silent for a moment, and then her hand dropped slowly from her hair.
“Just watch yourself, please?” she finally spoke again and stood, “I try really hard to make him go to bed at night.”
I stared after her as she left and then closed my eyes.
Why, dear Merlin, does drama love me so?
~*~
Stacey Hart was only the start, as it turns out.
The fact that Slytherin had managed to beat Ravenclaw in their match last Saturday didn’t matters much either.
The Hufflepuffs were pretty upset because their season was over after their match against us in January, and, while they’d been in first with a total of 420 points, they dropped to third. And we dropped down to fourth with the only a match against Slytherin next month, coming off their win. Currently, they were second, a hundred points behind Ravenclaw’s final of 590, but they were confident enough in their seeker that they’d manage to pull ahead. James, meanwhile, wasn’t confident enough in Ericson, Allison, and his own ability to score even the necessary 60 points to pull us up to third at this point.
Of course, if I was still on the team, this wouldn’t be a problem. Forget those 60 points, we’d have massacred Hufflepuff and be in first without a doubt.
Even Ravenclaws were furious at me at this point, because there was apparently no way Slytherin would lose to Gryffindor without me.
Arses.
This is why James is going so mental; if everyone didn’t think he needed me, neither would he.
Looking back on this fifty years from now, I will come off as the arrogant bint thinking she’s the one with all the skill.
(Just to clarify, I’m not).
Allison was once again reaching the point of furious with James’s practices. She claims he’s become “ruthlessly hopeless.”
Callie explained that this means he announces at the start of every practice that he doubts it’ll do much good before sending everyone off to run mental drills and ten hour weekend practices.
And just when I’d finally escaped the stresses of Quidditch, too, I was being dragged back in.
I couldn’t help it.
First there was Allison, entirely furious at James’s entire general attitude. The others agreed that she tried her best, but it was completely useless with Ericson being a halfwit and James half-assing everything.
Louis was always complaining about how useless keeping was with only Allison even bothering to try. Sure he could barely ever save her goals, but Ericson was so entirely predictable and James no longer tried to not be.
And then there was Austin and Fred, who’d decided the whole thing was a joke. Ericson was the only one who couldn’t avoid their Bludgers, the others knowing them so well, so instead, they were left to their own devices throughout the practices, beating the Bludgers around back and forth for the hell of it. Even James didn’t have the gall anymore to yell at them to try some target practice. If he did, they just knocked Ericson off his broom a few time and then went on with it when James went off to yell at the poor (dumb) bloke instead.
Then there was Callie. James had made it clear in no uncertain terms that he didn’t expect her to catch the Snitch anymore, leaving her in the same hopelessness he was flying around in. Her mind wandered too much now, and she couldn’t pay attention to the lithe little ball anymore. James didn’t even bother to check before summoning it at the end of a grueling practice now.
I groaned, dropping my quill on top of my pathetic attempt at starting my essay as my eyes and mind remained focused on the stupid Quidditch pitch out the window.
I was avoiding the library again as well. Sure, most of the Gryffindors were still furious at me, but at least I could avoid the glares of Ravenclaws and heckling of Hufflepuffs and Slytherins.
I closed my eyes, dropping my head down to my hands.
My life is becoming such a joke.
Again.
“Chin up, Zar.”
I allowed a mirthless chuckle to escape my lips as I looked back up to see Tristan dropping into the chair across from me. “Sure.”
“Want me to tell you a joke?” he offered with a smirk.
I couldn’t even help a smile as I shook my head.
“It’s a good one!” he wiggled his eyebrows.
“I don’t doubt it,” I assured, “I’m just not in the mood.”
“Wow, it’s serious,” he raised an inquiring eyebrow.
“You haven’t noticed?’ I raised an eyebrows right back. “The whole house is only falling apart all around you.”
“Dramatics,” he shook his head.
“We’re Gryffindor,” I reminded. “It’s what we do.”
“It’s Quidditch,” he corrected.
“It’s your best friend’s Quidditch career,” I shot back.
“Ahh,” Tristan nodded. “See, I knew it was more than Quidditch and dramatics.”
“It is –“
“No, see, that,” he gestured around the generally dismal room to a group of seventh years bemoaning a bottom finish in Quidditch standings for their last year, “is dramatics. This,” he pointed towards me, “is personal.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“You care about James,” he explained.
“Clearly,” I rolled my eyes.
“That’s why this is tearing you up,” he went on.
“Clearly,” I repeated.
“Hush,” he waved a hand at me, “I’m trying to prove that I’m not stupid.”
I snorted.
He ignored me. “I think a viable solution –“
“Viable?” I raised an eyebrow; Tristan was never one for big words.
“Do you want my advice?” he sent me a glare.
I laughed a bit at that. “You were right; that is a funny joke.”
“Shut up,” he grumbled with another brief glare. “What I’m trying to say is that you should probably explain to him.”
I raised an eyebrow again. “What exactly?”
“Why his life is going to hell!” he cried in response. “Your quitting has, quite frankly, left him hopeless. If it isn’t petty grudges and you actually care for his success, maybe he’ll get his head out of the metaphorical fog. And the rain every now and then,” he nodded out the window to where it was pooring now while the team practiced.
I sighed, glancing out again. “Tristan…” I sighed, turning back to him.
“Rina,” he shot back with a surprisingly serious expression. Even the ghost of amusement had left his expression as he peered down at me through dark sapphire eyes.
I didn’t look away.
“We’re all starting to think leaving him in the dark was a bad idea. For your sake and his.”
“But –“
“What are you afraid of?” he demanded, crossing his arms. “Why can’t he know what you did for him?”
I felt my gaze wavering, but there was something about Tristan’s rare seriousness that kept my eyes locked on his.
What was it?
It was a while before I could figure it out.
“He’ll be mad.”
Tristan’s expression took an incredulous twist as he opened his mouth to retort, but I hurried on before he could.
“I mean, then he owes me, which sucks when he hates me, and then I’m holding it over him and quitting –“
“Rina, you sound ridiculous,” he shook his head.
“No,” I shook my head right back. “It’ll be his fault; either he’ll claim that I’m telling him that it is, or…”
Tristan raised an eyebrow as I trailed off.
“Or he’ll decided it is,” I sighed, tearing my gaze away from his again and back to the dark, rainy grounds.
“How so?” he asked after a few moments.
“You’re friends with him!” I cried, whipping back around to face him. “You know how he is; he twists everything to his fault. ‘I got drunk; she saved me; she got scared; she quit; I’m screwed.’”
Tristan blinked at me for a moment before opening his mouth again. “Well, that’s true –“
“Tristan!”
“It’s not your fault,” he went on.
“But…but I quit,” I reminded.
“So?” he shook his head again, incredulously. “Were you supposed to do something you were terrified of for his sake?”
I blinked at him for a moment.
“It’s not your fault,” he insisted again. “Even James can’t twist it like that when you say you’re scared.”
“And his fault?” I questioned after a few moments, meeting his eyes again.
They saddened as he held my gaze. “It’s James,” he tried. “This is what he does.”
“It’s not healthy,” I shook my head.
“He’ll try harder for Quidditch,” he tried. “That’s also James; trying to fix things that are his fault.”
Point.
I glanced back out the window, once again.
I could make out the pitch, but not the team through the rain. But they were there. Going through yet another mind-numbing practice on a Thursday night. They’d been out there since classes ended at three with a double free, through dinner, and it was nearing 10:00 now. He better let the team sleep through free first in the morning.
“He is my best friend,” Tristan spoke again. “I want him to be able to do what he loves with the rest of his life.”
I looked back at him again slowly. “Me too,” I admitted softly. “He deserves it.”
Tristan smiled in response, and I couldn’t help but crack a smile as well.
“It’s actually your information to do with what you will,” he conceded. “You saved him, so you can tell him if you want. Just…think about it.”
I nodded with another sigh as he stood. “Thanks.”
He grinned again and sent me a wink over his shoulder as he left, and I couldn’t help but smile after him as well.
And then I got a bit curious.
“Tristan!”
He turned halfway across the room with raised eyebrows.
“What was the joke?” I questioned.
He grinned wickedly, mischievously, at that. “What do you call a blonde that colors her hair?”
“What?” I asked, his grin once again contagious.
“Artificial intelligence.”
I burst into laughter as he sauntered off with satisfaction.
~*~
Fortunately, Tristan’s a generally funny enough type of person that his stupid joke made my night, and I was able to finish my History essay before going to bed.
Unfortunately, he’d given me so much to think about that I couldn’t actually fall asleep.
What was I supposed to do?
I couldn’t just tell him; I knew that.
What would I say? Hey, James, I know that you hate me and all, but I saved your life during Leap of Faith and you inadvertently caused my new found fear of heights.
Yeah.
That would go over well.
(Sarcasm).
He’d lose his mind because, as many times as I may have mentioned it, James is a good person. When things go wrong, he always finds his fault in it, and this is definitely things going bad. This, James would decided, is why he’s not allowed to have fun; people who have fun cause a fear of heights in others.
And in an attempt to keep his head enough during difficult situations to not lose it and get drunk, he’d completely lose his head and go insane.
Not okay.
I hated seeing him suck the life out of himself.
It wasn’t fair.
James, the real James, was carefree and cheerful, and he smiled and breathed and told jokes and talked about nonsensical things for no reason at all; there was life in him.
This James was a hassled zombie, going insane with no time for cheer on his mind.
The closest I’d seen him to James was that night he was ignoring his Quidditch plays at 2:30 at night discussing bombs with Stacey Hart.
And I knew I couldn’t have the heart to hate her if she could put life into James again, however brief and dim it may be.
I could tell from my encounter with her in the library that she cared. She wasn’t stupid or petty like she’d come off as being; she actually cared.
I didn’t know whether it was a load off my mind knowing that someone else was trying; even more so was that it seemed as if she was succeeding. She got him discussing bombs.
And at the same time, I couldn’t help that silly, petty pang that it wasn’t me anymore that he was discussing stupid nonsensical things with at 2:00 in the morning.
That, I suppose, is why I can’t sleep at night.
How typical petty teenage girl of me?
Pathetic.
~*~
“Rina…”
I turned dejectedly to face Allison, who was giving me a knowing look.
Alright, fine, so maybe I was staring at James and Stacey in the library.
Again.
She was taking his Quidditch plays away from him during the day now, so he was helping her with Transfigurations instead.
I wish I sucked at Transfigurations.
Or that James didn’t hate me.
Either one.
Or both.
(Shut up, Rina).
“Come on,” Allison waved my Herbology book in front of me.
“This isn’t getting better,” I sighed, opening the book in front of me.
She snorted. “No kidding.”
“I told you it wasn’t a good idea,” Albus spoke up, not looking up from his own essay. “But you never listen.”
I scowled at the top of his head for a moment before conceding. He’d warned me about joining the team in the first place, too. I should know that no one knows James like Albus does.
I sighed, glancing back across the library to where James seemed to be explaining something, Stacey listening with rapt attention.
Stupid blonde bimbo.
“Rina,” Allison sent me a look.
I groaned, dropping my head onto the table.
“What is it?” Albus finally set his quill down.
I turned my eyes up to him, my chin still on the tabletop, and sighed.
“That used to be us,” I pointed, “Until he started to hate me.”
“Oh, God,” Allison was already rolling her eyes.
“I remember the last time,” I went on, ignoring her, “I was trying to do Ancient Runes, and he was supposed to be doing Potions, I think, but I was drawing this ridiculously huge blank, so he was helping me through it. I just wasn’t feeling well; we’d just come back from break and my parents…” I trailed off slowly, closing my eyes.
It had been a bright afternoon with the sun reflecting off the white blanket of snow and lighting up the cold library. “It was lunch, and we were supposed to have practice that night, but James thought I should stay in or go see Madame Pomfrey. I thought he was being stupid because we had that match against Slytherin coming up. He was mad all practice.”
I didn’t say anything for a moment; it has been so long since I’ve had that anger directed on me like that. It was so terrifying at first. It’s still terrifying, actually, when James gets mad. When I think about it.
“I remember,” Allison was nodding. “That’s when practice started going really bad.”
“I told you to quit then, didn’t I?” Albus sent me a look, “But you’re too prideful.”
I opened my mouth to retort, but he went on before I could. “Quidditch was too much stress right after what happened,” he said. “That’s what happened.”
I closed my mouth.
“Or maybe James was,” Allison suggested.
I sighed, closing my eyes, dropping my head into my hands again. “He was always so mad at me, and I didn’t mean to be so terrible.”
“No, you didn’t,” Allison agreed as I looked back up at her. “Things were just bad.”
“I drove him away, didn’t I?” I turned back to Albus. “I got so terrible and he hated it. James could never stand bitchy people. Or selfish people or rude people or –“
“Rina,” he cut me off sharply.
“It’s true, though,” I reminded.
Albus held my gaze for a moment before he sighed. “Things were bad.”
I nodded, turning away again to watch as James demonstrated the difference between wand movements and Stacey nodded, picking up her own wand.
“That’s how I know she can’t be a bad person,” I spoke again, “James doesn’t like bad people.”
Albus shook his head in agreement as I turned back at him.
“I always figured he was a good judge of character, too,” I went on, “Less quick than I was, at least, and he usually turned out to be right. It’s how you know if you’re a bad person; if James thinks so, you must be.”
“You’re saying you think you’re a bad person because James thinks so?” Allison checked.
I nodded.
“You’re stupid,” she shook her head.
“But I –“
“That’s dumb logic, and you know it.”
“But –“
“I don’t like bad people, Rina.”
“James is human,” Albus added, “He makes mistakes.”
I shrugged. “I always trusted his opinion, though.”
“Yeah, and my opinion?” Albus raised an eyebrow.
As I looked at him, I knew that I trusted those sparkling emeralds as well; he was Albus.
“You can be both, can’t you?” I tried. “A good person, but…mean and selfish. I don’t want to be bad, so that has to be good.”
Albus sighed, shaking his head. “Don’t hurt yourself, Love.”
I sent him a mock glare.
“You’re dumb,” Allison decided, handing me my quill again. “Venomous Tentacula?”
I sighed, taking it from her and opening my book again.
And I tried my hardest to ignore James and Stacey’s presence as I began listing the properties of Venomous Tentacula.
By lunch, I was done with Herbology and proud to say that I’d succeeded.
That is, until I was leaving lunch with Albus, Scorpius and Rose while the others went out to Quidditch practice, and I heard Stacey Hart affirm, “Zar can go to hell.”
Thanks.
I looked around in time to see Fred shaking his head before heading out as well and Stacey heading towards the marble staircase I’d turned on.
I’d even opened my mouth, too, my dark side starting to rear its ugly head again, when Rose grabbed my arms and dragged me away quickly.
“Come on,” Albus pulled us into a secret passageway up to the common room.
Rose released my arm and I sighed, following her up to corridor.
“Don’t worry about it,” Albus assured, “No one listens to her.”
“Except James, right?” I turned to him. ‘That actually explains so much.”
“No,” Rose shook her head. “James gets upset at her for picking on you as well.”
I stared incredulously at the back of her head as she marched on without turning.
“But, he hates me.”
Scorpius snorted, glancing over his shoulder at me. “Do you think I’d let some stupid bint talk about Rose just because we broke up?”
“When did we break up?” Rose frowned up at him.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you, actually…” he trailed off slowly.
“Prat,” Rose thumped him on the head.
He chuckled and kissed her cheek, draping his arm around her shoulders.
“You’re not dumping her,” Albus pointed a warning finger at his best friend with a stern expression. “She might end up with some dumb-fuck.”
“Do you think I’d waste my time with some dumb-fuck?” Rose whirled around to him.
“Too late,” I pointed out.
Rose didn’t disagree.
“Thanks, Love,” Scorpius rolled his eyes, kissing her again as we reached the seventh floor.
“Love you, too,” she promised, pulling him out of the passage with Albus and I following behind.
“Sure about that?” Scorpius raised an eyebrow.
“Of course I am!” she whirled around to thwack him again as we approached the Fat Lady.
Albus and I exchanged looks, and I shook my head.
The Fat Lady wore a similar expression. “You’re lucky to have him, Dear,” she reminded the redhead.
She only crossed her arms. “He’s stupid.”
“You’re abusive,” Scorpius shot back. “They put people in Azkaban for this.”
Rose snorted while Albus rolled his eyes.
“Lace wings,” I told the Fat Lady.
She sent Rose and Scorpius another look before swinging open to admit us.
“I should probably break up with you,” Scorpius considered. “You’re terrible to me.”
“Try it,” Rose whirled around, narrowing her eyes.
“And you’re threatening me,” Scorpius went on. “That’s not legal either, is it?”
“You’re such a prat!” Rose groaned, turning on her heel and making to march away again.
“But I love you,” he reminded, grabbing her arm and yanking her back around.
She huffed until he kissed her.
Cue Albus making a face and stumbling away, muttering to himself.
Cue Rina’s closet romantic.
“You better not break up,” I trained my own severe gaze on the pair as they broke apart, attempting (and failing) to suppress a (huge, cheesy) grin, “I’ll lose all faith in the meaning of love if you do.”
Rose rolled her eyes as she pulled Scorpius down onto the sofa with her. “You’re ridiculous.”
“You’re fantastic,” I motioned to them as I took an armchair to myself. “All perfect and shit.”
“Change of topic,” Rose shook her head, blushing, while Scorpius rolled his eyes.
I was still grinning like a cheesy nut as Rose pretended to care about Scorpius’s detailed explanation on the pros and cons of dungbombs.
~*~
Stacey turned on her heel ready to march away as soon as she caught sight of me Tuesday night in the kitchens.
(Yes, I’d had another bad day).
“Hold on,” I stood and stopped her. I was really starting to get annoyed with her shooting me nasty looks every time she saw me.
Stupid bint.
“What?” she raised an eyebrow, turning back to me with a look of contempt.
“Have I done anything to personally offend you?” I questioned a bit sardonically, raising my eyebrow right back at her. “I don’t see what my presence has to do with you obtaining food.”
“You know, Zar,” Stacey responded with a roll of her eyes, “Not everything is necessarily about you.”
“My bad,” I responded sarcastically, “I only thought that the reason for someone trying to kill me with her eyes might have something to do with me.”
Stacey only snorted and turned to leave again.
“No longer hungry?” I asked mockingly.
She stopped at that and looked around to the eager house elves eyeing her hopefully.
“Right,” she nodded, running her fingers through her hair. “May I have some leftovers please?”
“The same as usual, Miss?” asked an elf, bouncing on the balls of her feet.
“Yes please,” Stacey nodded with a smile.
The elves hurried away to prepare a plate as Stacey turned back with a suddenly weary expression.
Even I couldn’t manage to be annoyed with her as she sank into a chair to wait.
Stacey Hart at times seemed spurious, and at other times, she became a bit bipolar. It was a bit difficult to keep up, actually.
At the moment, she appeared tired and weary, and, close up, I noticed dark bags under her eyes and her usually immaculate appearance hassled. Her hair was unkempt, and she wore much less makeup than usual.
I frowned as I sat down in the chair next to her.
“Are you alright?” I asked carefully.
She looked up to send me a sardonic look.
Alright, so no.
“You don’t care,” she shook her head when I continued to watch her questioningly.
“I might,” I countered, “If you’d like to tell me.”
She met my eyes with a penetrating gaze and held it for a moment before sighing and looking away again.
“I’m really worried about him,” she admitted.
I blinked at her for a moment.
“James?” I frowned.
She nodded dejectedly. “He’s making himself insane.”
“That I know,” I agreed.
“It might be your fault,” she went on.
This, I did not know.
“How close were you two?” she asked suddenly.
I faltered a bit at that.
“I – well, we were friends,” I admitted, “Good friends.”
“You were best friends,” she disagreed, glaring at me again. “He was always with you, and if he wasn’t, he was talking about you. He never bothered with anyone else when he needed something, and he always went looking for you when he was bored.”
I stared wide-eyed at her.
“What’s wrong with you?” she shook her head. “Are you dumb?”
(Possibly).
“You have to have known that,” she went on, waving her hands around. “It was clear to everyone else!”
“Was it?” I asked quietly after a moment.
“Yes!” she cried, running her fingers through her hair as she shook her head. “You know, you really are the type of person I can’t stand.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“What happened to your sense of worth?” she demanded. “You can’t just go around pretending people don’t care; it’s selfish.”
“Here is yous food, Miss,” a house elf set a toppling pile of food (everything that I noticed to be James’s favorite) next to Stacey excitedly.
“Thank you,” she smiled tiredly, taking the plate.
“You is welcome, Miss!” The elf cried merrily, waving.
I, for my part, stared gapingly at the back of her retreating head.
~*~
James and I met on my first day on the Hogwarts Express.
He’d come by to see Albus, Louis and Rose, and Callie and I’d already joined them.
I made the mistake of introducing myself as Arabella before informing him that I preferred Rina. When he decided that it would be amusing to call me by my first name, I told him he was a prick and to go away. He obliged, but he’d taken to following my around just to bug me when his brother or cousins weren’t available. According to Albus, he lived for these types of things, finding people’s one pet peeve and using it.
My annoyance with his use of my first name was the first thing he found amusing about me. Soon, he’d also discovered my tendency to accidently injure myself and have frequent blonde moments.
By the time that he’d decided that he enjoyed my company, I’d grown accustomed to his use of my first name and put up with him. It was easy when talking to James for everything else to melt away; he made every conversation and every moment riveting.
A friendship with him was natural; we always had a good time without having to do much.
We never fought much either.
We were both stubborn and loved to hold a grudge, but each other had always been the exception to that rule. Perhaps it was because we both knew that the other wouldn’t apologize first, and we were both unwilling to go too long without talking. Or it could have to do with that we both knew each other well enough to see the other’s point of view and that remaining angry wouldn’t seem right.
Either way, we were good friends, probably best friends.
Which is why the sudden fighting was so terrifying.
Neither one of us knew how to actually handle a fight with the other, which is probably why neither of us knew what to do now. It was foreign, not knowing what the other was thinking and being unable to understand. We probably made up explanations because we weren’t willing to admit that we didn’t know, and it’s not like we ever had to talk before to understand.
In the end, we probably made true what we’d at first made up.
I don’t think James could’ve hated me if I hadn’t become a detestable person. And I don’t think I’d be so upset with James if he hadn’t become so insane.
When James sat down in front of me in the library, there was contempt written on his face.
“Why did you quit?” he demanded.
I set my quill down and stared at him for a moment. He was tired and spent and desperate.
It broke my heart a little.
“Why does it matter?” I asked after a while.
“Because Stacey thinks it does.”
I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. “Everyone thinks it does.”
“Does it?” he pressed.
Does it?
I wasn’t sure anymore.
No,” I decided firmly, convincing myself as I shook my head, “What matters is that I did and you need to work with that.”
He stared furiously at me.
“Honestly, I was hoping my quitting would help you get your head on straight without having to make yourself crazy trying to deal with me,” I admitted.
“Is that why you quit?” he demanded, almost shouting and attracting the attention of a few nearby students.
“No, James,” I rolled my eyes, “I was just hoping that it would be a positive consequence.”
“But what –“
“Shush,” I glanced around, but the librarian wasn’t in sight.
“But what was the reason that you quit?” he repeated.
“It doesn’t matter,” I repeated resolutely. “But you’re a good captain. Make it work.”
“What is wrong with you, Ara?” he groaned, running frustrated fingers through his hair.
“Oh, trust me,” I gathered my things and stood, “You’re lucky you didn’t stick around long enough to find out.”
I was gone before he could open his mouth.
And, for some reason, it was later that night that the past few months managed to catch up with me.
They were nightmares.
Bad nightmares.
First, I was watching James jump off the tower with everyone else, and I didn’t follow him. Then, I didn’t wake at all that night, not until my ears were met with screaming.
So the next time, I followed him, but I followed a second later, and I stared, horrorstruck, as rain pounded down onto James’s broken figure sprawled in the grass, rainwater washing blood down the side of his face.
The last time, I gripped his arm just in time, and his face was gushing blood over the white stone of the tower.
“Fucking God, James, are you dead?”
That’s when I woke up, my heart pounding as I stared out the window at the night sky.
I didn’t sleep for the next three nights.
A/N: I know! It's been forever! You wouldn't beleive how difficult it was to write chapters sixteen and seventeen, and I could bare to post this until I was sure those two were alright. I redid this one tons over the past couple of months, too, just so that it would work with the next two. This is why I like to be far enough ahead beofre posting a new chapter; I sometimes have to edit previous chapters after I write new ones, and I don't want to do that after I post something.
So, first, I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter! i was in love with Rose and Scorpius, and Rina was being...Rina. But I'm really interested in how you all feel about Stacey now. I know she hasn't had much love lately, but what do we think? And Rina and James? Best friends? Really? You'll see it soon, no worries. I guess I just wanted to portray all the different sides of an everlasting, unbreakable friendship. You're not supposed to expect it or believe it yet, so it's okay.
Second, the next two chapters. Warning now, the next one is a major cliffy, and I would hate to leave you for months with that one, so I'e got a propostition: if you don't mind me writting a couple more chapters until I'm sure chapter seventeen can be set in stone, I'd be much more comfortable posting the next one. Or else you're likely to be left with a bad cliff-hanger for a while. I promise to try my best, but I just finished chapter seventeen (I think; I've thought that before, but I keep making it longer). It's an important one, though, so I need to experiment with a couple more chapters beyond that to be sure that the details are alright. it's the beginning of phase four of the story, so I need to figure out the exact details of the plot beofre I can be sure. you all understand, right?
(God, look at those excuses! Inexcuseable!)
Seriously, though, thanks for all of your patience and support! I always read your reviews when I have writer's block and rereading previous chapters isn't helping. Thanks so much, you guys!
Disclaimer: I own ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you recognize.
Chapter 16: Defiance
“Rina?” Callie sat down hesitantly next to me on the couch in the common room.
She knew I wasn’t sleeping. She was worried.
I sighed, tearing my gaze away from the crackling fire. “I know,” I admitted, meeting her eyes. “I just…can’t.”
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
I shook my head, turning away from her again. I didn’t even want to think about it.
Callie had been right; losing James had broken my heart. I couldn’t possibly handle it if that night had gone just a little bit differently.
It might have even been a bit funny, thinking about it, when considering where I’d been just a few months ago.
I’d blocked out real life for so long that I actually started believing every single thing I’d made up. Hell, I’d told James that he never cared.
Looking back, it had to be my fault. Knowing James, how could I have possibly said something like that to him? To James who thinks everything is his fault. What a terrible person would he have to be for his best friend to actually believe he’d never cared?
I told him he wouldn’t care if I died.
And I knew it wasn’t true. I’d just blocked every bit of reality from my life.
But Stacey had been right; James was my best friend. It’s how I know that I still know him.
The thing is, James and I had been a little bit different. He was in the year ahead of me, so we didn’t get to see each other all the time, and we had other friends in our own years. We never did everything together or spend every moment of everyday together or talk about everything.
Friendship isn’t something that’s easily defined with words, though. Friendship, true friendship, is defined by barely seeing each other for a month and sitting up late talking away into the night and fighting for two years and caring so much that all that’s left is insanity. It’s being friends no matter where we end up.
James and I’d be friends even if we did truly hate each other.
“Rina?” Callie spoke again quietly.
I met her eyes again and shook my head slightly. “It’s knowing that he’s not in my life anymore,” I tried to explain. “It’s not…right…but if I didn’t have James at all, if I hadn’t gotten out of bed or if I’d waited just half-a-second more…”
Callie pulled me into a hug, and I closed my eyes, burying my face into her shoulder.
“You just got another chance to make it right,” she told me softly.
James and I would remain friends for eternity, but what scared me is that I don’t know if we’ll ever be right again.
“It’s James,” she spoke again.
It is.
“You know,” Callie pulled away from me slightly with a small smile, “What scares Al the most is that you and James have always been you and James, and that leaves him with the best opportunity to break you.”
I rolled my eyes slightly, but I suppose it was true. “Is that pathetic?”
Callie shrugged. “Some people get to be an exception, and I think James is yours.”
Fortunately or unfortunately, he was.
Turns out that James really is the source of my insanity.
As if it weren’t enough that we were best friends fighting, I went and fell for him, and that’s about what did me in.
I mean, sure, I’d always cared that he’d eat and sleep and live, but now there was something different about the tug at my heart that made me want the things that I wanted for him.
Not being able to explain what I felt for him in itself was making me insane.
And the worst part is, I couldn’t escape being plagued by thoughts of him even in sleep.
Because I couldn’t sleep.
Callie had eventually asked me to come up to bed, but I knew I wasn’t sleeping, so I declined.
She wasn’t happy with it, but she gave in, no doubt planning on regrouping with the others in the morning.
I sighed, staring at the fire again. I had Double Ancient Runes first thing in the morning. That was going to go well.
It was probably extremely late when the portrait hole swung open.
I jumped slightly and turned towards the shadows.
But then, I suppose I don’t know why I was curious.
Of course it was James.
“What are you still doing up?” he frowned at me as he stepped further into the room.
I only raised an eyebrow back at him. “No need to ask you the same, I presume.”
His eyes narrowed at that. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That you’re obsessing ridiculously over Quidditch,” I answered back, rolling my eyes.
I knew that was a mistake even before I thought it.
His eyes flashed as he stepped towards me, suddenly angry. “If you think –“
“James,” I closed my eyes as he stepped into the firelight and the orange glow flashed against his scar. “I know.” I opened my eyes again to force myself to look at him, looking anywhere but at that terrifying scar. “I don’t have the energy for this. I know this means a lot to you, but you should probably sleep. You can’t play Quidditch if you don’t eat and you don’t sleep.”
His eyes were still suspicious as he looked me over. “Are you backing down?” he asked disbelievingly.
I had to roll my eyes at that. I suppose he did have a point though; I was always up for an argument with him.
“I’m telling you that you just need to take a step back and breathe,” I told him. “Everything will be okay if you just give it a chance.”
He snorted in response, shaking his head. “You don’t know the half of it.”
I blinked for a moment as he starred back at me.
And I realized that he was right. I didn’t know everything he was going through, because he didn’t talk to me anymore.
But I knew enough.
“I know you.”
“Meaning?”
I shook my head again as the firelight flashed across his scar again. “You should go to sleep.”
I felt his eyes on me for a few more moments before I heard him start to leave.
He spoke again from the other side of the room, however. “So should you.”
I almost smiled lightly at that, eyes still closed as I leaned back against the couch. I probably should.
But I didn’t.
I was practically asleep in my lunch that next afternoon, and I couldn’t recall a thing that went on in Runes.
“Maybe you should skip Defense,” Albus suggested carefully with a weary expression towards me.
But I didn’t have the energy to yell at him, so I didn’t respond, staring at my soup instead.
Albus noticed that as well, which is probably what made him brave enough to suggest what he suggested next.
“You could get a Dreamless Sleep Potion in the Hospital Wing.”
I looked up at that with an attempt at an angry look in my eye.
He caught it and backed down.
“I think he’s right,” Rose crossed her arms from across from me.
“I’m fine, Rose,” I sighed exasperatedly.
Scorpius snorted at that.
I ignored him.
Instead, I looked up and down the Great Hall to find that the team was, once again, missing.
I looked back to the table and closed my eyes.
This is horrible.
There are a lot of things people think about and say about me. A lot of them are probably true, too.
The thing is, I’m stubborn, and I’m opinionated. I’m very set in what I think and feel and want, and I’m only going to do and be based on what my morals and my values and my gut and my heart say. I’ve always been very set on that.
I’m extremely argumentative and determined and everything else that goes with it all.
I also get along with very few people but, those few people that I decide matter to me, those people are in for a ride.
I’m not saying that all those people necessarily like me or quite get it, but those few people that matter are the reason that I am the way that I am.
Quite frankly, I will destroy myself before I see the people that matter suffer. Because those people that I have actually made a place for in my life should never suffer. That is my number one moral.
And James’s Quidditch practices are a form of suffering. Just as bad as hunger.
“Rina!” Rose cried as I got up from the table. “You haven’t even touched your food!”
I ignored her and walked out of the hall and out the doors.
I don’t even care how insane people think I am, I will not allow these people to do this to themselves. That would mean that I’ve failed, and I can’t handle that.
They were all in the air when I got to the pitch, and my heart nearly stopped when I saw them up there.
This was just something that would not go away. I closed my eyes again and tried to breathe.
It was a few moments before I could bring myself to look back up into the air.
I pulled my wand out again and pointed it towards the sky. “Accio.”
Four balls came rushing towards me, and I had to wave my wand again to immobilize them to fall at my feet.
I watched little golden wings close around the Snitch as it fell still before looking back up.
I could feel James’s daggers on me.
“You’re done now, Potter,” Allison sighed as the team landed in front of me a few moments later looking clearly exhausted.
“Go eat,” I told them without taking my eyes off of James.
“And miss this?” Allison scoffed. “No thanks.”
“Allie.”
“Come on,” Callie spoke, pulling her away.
“You’re not going anywhere,” James warned, his hard eyes still blazing into mine.
I swished my wand again silently, effectively vanishing all seven brooms from within their owners’ grasps.
James’s eyes were terrifying.
“I’m keeping them for a week,” I told him.
“The school has brooms.”
I flicked my wand again, and an audible click was heard from the changing rooms.
“Our wands are in there.”
“I can still get in,” I assured.
“She is so badass.”Austin was probably trying to break the tension.
“Or just stupid,” Louis added.
“You are my hero,” Fred decided. “Marry me.”
“What exactly is the purpose of this?” James demanded, entirely ignoring everyone else.
“Louis has bags under his eyes, Austin doesn’t have fun, Fred’s heart isn’t in his jokes, Callie rarely smiles lately, and Allie’s grades are slipping,” I informed him, “And you’re going insane.”
James just looked at me.
“You know me, James.”
“Not anymore, I don’t,” he disagreed.
That hurt.
“You know that I can’t let this happen,” I tried to ignore the look in his eyes and the stabbing at my soul. “You know that I’d do anything to stop this.”
He didn’t say anything.
Neither did I.
“Let’s get some lunch,” I heard Callie prod.
I barely heard them leave.
James continued to stare me down.
And then he opened his mouth again.
“Then why don’t you rejoin the team?”
I blinked at him once, and then turned and walked away.
~*~
I sat staring out the window in the common room for a very long time.
I could see the Quidditch pitch clearly if I looked.
But my mind was far off; it had slipped back a good two years.
I hated to think about how everything had started between James and I. I couldn’t pinpoint the moment exactly, maybe because there never really was an exact one. It just…happened.
There was the day, however, when I was trying to do Ancient Runes and he was supposed to be doing Potions. We were supposed to have Quidditch practice after classes, and I wasn’t feeling well.
And I guess the rest was history.
My head hurt and my body ached, I coughed every time I breathed and my nose was runny, my eyes were red and my face matched, all puffy and blotchy. And I was in a terrible mood.
But James was sitting across from me, patiently, not bothered nor embarrassed by the box of tissues I’d brought with me to the library during lunch on that bright afternoon, blowing my nose and dropping tissues into my conjured trashcan.
Lovely.
I stared at the translations in front of me, my eyes trying to focus as I tried to still the trembling hand holding my quill.
I was trying to listen to what James was saying, really, I was, but I couldn’t get it through to comprehension. They were just barely a blur of words.
He was still talking when I dropped my quill and shoved the parchment away, dropping my head onto my arms on the tabletop.
“Ara.”
That time, I understood him.
“Yes?” I didn’t lift my head, and my voice was muffled.
“Will you please go to Madame Pomfrey?”
“No.”
“Then how about sleep?”
“I have classes.”
“After classes?”
“Practice.”
“You can skip.”
I lifted my head slightly to finally look up at him. “You don’t like it when I skip.”
“I also don’t like it when you aren’t feeling well,” he reminded.
“I’ll be fine,” I assured.
I coughed after that and groaned, kneading my fingers into my temples before dropping my head again.
“I don’t think so, Ara,” James disagreed carefully.
“I don’t like feeling like I’m slacking, James,” I reminded him. “I’d rather suffer.”
“I’d rather you not,” he argued, “I don’t like to make you suffer or see you suffer.”
“Comes with the entity, James,” I reminded, raising my eyes to him again. “Just let me be.”
“You’re not coming to practice, Ara,” he decided, crossing his arms.
I snorted at that and then coughed. “Sure.”
“Sometimes you have to let us care about you, Ara,” he said, his eyes insistent. “It comes with the entity of friends.”
I sighed, rolling my eyes.
I extracted my wand, slightly shakily, from my bag and banished my supplies and tissues to the dormitory before vanishing my trashcan.
I then stood carefully, shivering even worse. “I’ll sleep until History,” I decided. “I’ll even sleep in History if it makes you feel better, James.”
“It does,” he nodded, getting up as well and quickly gathering up his things before accompanying me to the common room.
The idea was for me sleep off whatever I had, obviously, but by the end of Arithmancy, I felt about ten times worse.
Not that that stopped me from going to practice.
Julianne may have liked to think that I was selfish and weak, but I wasn’t. I could to endure this practice and carry off my responsibility to the team. I could.
James, however, didn’t seem to think so.
“Will you please just go back to bed, Ara?” he sighed in exasperation.
“No,” I crossed my arms stubbornly. “I’m practicing.”
“It would make us all feel better if you’d go,” he gestured around to the rest of the team.
My eyes narrowed. “Just because you don’t think I can do it doesn’t mean that I can’t. I can!”
“It’s just one practice, Rina,” our Seeker Seventh Year Caroline Meyers told me soothingly.
“So?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Just go, Ara!” James cried. “I don’t have time for this!”
“Why?” I demanded.
“Look,” he glared at me angrily. “We actually care about your wellbeing, so we’re begging you to just go get warm. If you care about that at all, you’ll listen.”
I snorted, glaring right back. “You’d just love to think that I’m that type of person, wouldn’t you? I bet you’d love to complain about me for shirking away from my responsibilities.”
“It’s Quidditch!” James cried. “I’m your captain, and now I’m ordering you to go!”
“Stop being so high and mighty, James,” I rolled my eyes. “You don’t actually have authority over me.”
“Ara!”
“What?”
“Let go of your pride.”
My eyes hardened at him. I am not prideful. Stubborn, yes, but it has nothing to do with pride. Just because Julianne thinks that I’m haughty and act superior doesn’t make it true. I am not conceited. I’m not.
“I’m not conceited,” I told him quietly. I’m not.
“No,” James rolled his eyes. “Just too self-satisfied and too selfish to let go of your pride for anyone that you like to claim to care about.”
I bit my lip, hard, to stop it wavering.
I’m not selfish. I didn’t mean to take Jake away from Julianne; really, I didn’t. I care, I really do; I want Jake to be happy.
That isn’t selfish, is it?
He’d be so happy to have Julie back.
I didn’t mean to hurt anybody, really, I didn’t.
James sent me a look, his eyes dark, hard and set, ordering me to not defy him. “Go to sleep.”
The worst part is that his eyes actually believed what he said.
I’m not a bad person, James Potter.
I’m not.
I bit my lip as my eyes focused in on the Quidditch pitch in the dark distance from the warmth of the Gryffindor common room.
I really didn’t mean to hurt James, I really didn’t. I didn’t mean to hurt his future or his happiness or his James. I didn’t mean to chase James and everything that he is away. I didn’t mean to make him insane and make him lose himself.
It was an accident.
I just quit.
“Then why don’t you rejoin the team?”
I could fix this.
I got up from my chair and quietly made my way up to my dormitory. I stood next to my bed for a moment, and then looked down to where I used to keep my broom.
The space was oddly empty without it, I realized.
I stood, staring at the spot for a another moment, and then found myself on my knees.
I crawled under my bed and reached out, finally firmly grasping the handle to my broomstick.
I pulled it out and looked it over in the dim light.
It was still the same. Maybe a bit dusty, but it was my broom.
I got back to my feet and stared out the window again.
It was that window I’d raced passed the last time I was on this broom, trying to save James’s life.
I had to close my eyes and remember to breathe again for a moment, but then I opened them again and looked back to my broom.
I then found myself standing in front of a suddenly open window and straddling my broomstick.
And then I was kicking off and soaring through the window and the dark sky.
The wind rushed against my face and blew my hair back, causing my eyes to water slightly, but my eyes were glued to the view. Everything was beautiful from the air. The grounds and the dim sky and that feeling of nothing else in the world.
I zoomed straight to the Quidditch pitch without realizing it until my stomach swooped and my heart fluttered.
I hovered in the center of the pitch for a moment, and the suddenly, flying came back to me.
I cut my broom up towards the air and then turned it sharply back towards the ground in a spiral. I pulled back up only inches from the ground and looped back through the air, and I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped my lips.
I pulled my broom back around to hover over the pitch and looked out across the horizon. The sky was a dark lavender, the center of the horizon hinting a pale pink. The sun would be up soon.
And so would James.
It was Friday morning, and that meant free first, which meant that James was holding practice.
Except then I remembered that he couldn’t hold practice because the team’s brooms were hidden deep within the Rome of Requirement and only I could open the door to the Gryffindor changing rooms. His plays were locked in his office, and that meant that he had to breathe.
I smiled slightly at that, but then I frowned again.
He was James. He’d probably have the team out running ground drills anyway.
I continued to stare at the horizon where the sun would come up. This would be a beautiful sunrise.
I used to love watching the sun come up from up in the air on my broom, before being up so early on a broomstick was a chore courtesy of James.
I was planning to watch the sunrise this morning, however.
But maybe being up here again was overwhelming. Maybe I was still too concerned with James, or maybe this hadn’t come back to me as easily as I’d though. It could’ve been because I haven’t slept for five days, or maybe it was the sudden rush of the wind. Or maybe I simply slipped.
Whatever it was, in an instant, I found myself rushing towards the earth.
Except this time, I wasn’t in control because I didn’t have my broom under me any longer, and the ground was getting closer.
My eyes closed against the rushing wind, and then all I knew was silence and black.
A/N: Short but dramatic?
I mean, Rina just go back on the broom, and then she had to go and fall. That's gonna go over well.
I personally loved the flashback, though; it was my absolute favorite part of the chapter, and definitely one of my favorite parts of the entire story. That day right there was hte beginning of the story, I think. Rina's parents dying and Julianne were teh background, but that day right there just set everything off. Rina had been moody before that, and she and James had been having there fights, but this one just about did it. One of the things I tried to do with this story was play with the concept simply planting a little idea deep in a person's subconcious. Little tinny thoughts and feelings that barely seem to be anything at all can turn into something huge and eventually define a person. the subconcious is insanely powerful. I must admit, I got that idea from the movie Inception (which entirely belongs to Christopher Nolan's brilliance), and I absolutely love it. I don't know if you can tell from the story, but I absolutely love psychology. i feel as if a psychologist would have a field day with Rina's story.
But, moving on; you're thoughts please! I'm getting really excited for what's coming in the story, so I'd be thrilled to hear from you guys!
I'm going to try to update the next chapter soon, I pinky promise! I'm really sorry for taking so long with this one. I just have this thing where I absolutely have to answer every single review before I'll post the next chapter. Only, this time, I had an entire 61 reviews to answer, which was extremely daunting.
Also, a special shout out to Fingerposts; I had to use Microsoft Word to count how many characters were in the response because HPFF wouldn't allow me to have more than 4000. If you read the whole response, you're awesome, but I couldn't seem to stop babbling. Kind of like how I'm doing in these A/Ns, actually.
Last thing! So apparently, my story's really similar to AFountainPen's story Settling the Score. Definitely not on purpose since I've never actually read Settling the Score! I'm really sorry to anyone who's offended by any similarities between my story and that one, or any other stories for that matter. I guess there's only so much that can be done with fnfiction that things are bound to look similar sometimes. I promise I never meant to plagerize anything, and I'm sorry if it seems like I did. i just want to offically get this out there since plagerism usually makes me want to Avada somebody. One of the reason's I do my disclaimers at the top the way I do is because I want them to be all encompassing for anyhting that may at all resemble something else. I go with the rule that, whether or not you thouhgt of it on your own, if someone else had the same idea somewhere else, you automatically don't own the idea anymore. Going by that, I guess I don't own Leap of Faith since apparently, AFountainPen had the same idea in her story. thanks to ello for pointing that out to me (kind of politely). If any similarities are intenional, I'll point it out, but most of my similarities are accidential. I would also like to take this moment to credit Tristan's joke in the last chapter to my brother (he had me laughing my butt off with that one, even though no one else seemed to think it was funny). Also, though it is technically implied to be included in the disclaimer with everything else, the magic world and everything that has to do with it belongs to JKR.
And I think that's all I had to say today...I hope...
(I think that may be a record breaking A/N)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.
Chapter 17: The Truth About the Scar
Everything hurt.
Really bad.
I couldn’t help a slight whimper as I registered the pounding in my head, but I bit my lip as soon as it escaped.
Not soon enough, however.
“Ara?”
I almost jumped and tried to turn my head, but a searing pain shot through me at the mere thought.
“Don’t move, Ara,” James’s hoarse voice commanded. “Madame Pomfrey!”
I heard some shuffling and then a moment later, the nurse’s gasp. “Oh, just a moment.”
There was more shuffling, the opening and closing of a door, and then silence.
“Professor Miller was making some potions to help,” James’s voice broke the silence. “She’s gone to go get them.”
I was about to nod, but then stopped when I remembered the pain.
More silence.
“Ara…”
“I fell,” I whispered, closing my eyes against the blinding white of the Hospital Wing ceiling.
“I’m sorry,” he responded in the same tone.
“Why?” I frowned, my eyes flying open again.
“It’s my fault, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s not!” I shouted, my voice straining as I whipped around to face him.
I gasped and snapped my eyes shut against tears as undeniable pain washed over me, my head feeling as if someone was trying to drill through it.
“Stop moving.” James voice sounded scared as his fingers closed around mine.
A warmth seeped through my fingertip and spread throughout the rest of my body. The aching numbed.
“It’s not your fault,” I repeated, my eyes still squeezed shut.
“I didn’t know you were scared,” he confessed in response.
“You weren’t supposed to.”
“Why?”
I opened my eyes again to meet his dark ones. The colors mixing in the hazel of his irises seemed frozen, almost dead.
“Because it’s not your fault,” I repeated again. “You weren’t supposed to have a reason to think so.”
James fingers squeezed my hand slightly as he closed his eyes and ran his free hand over his face tiredly. “Ara…”
“Yes?”
He dropped his hand and opened his eyes again to look at me. “Please just let me be sorry.”
“But what f –“
“For making you think you had to get back on a broom again!” he cried. “I never would’ve asked if I’d –“
He broke off again and tore his eyes away from mine.
“Mr. Potter, get away from her!” Madame Pomfrey burst back through the door, laden with various potions vials.
James released my hand and sat back in his chair, but his eyes remained on me as Madame Pomfrey set down the potions and began waving her wand around, muttering to herself.
I, for my part, was aware of the return of pain to every part of my body.
I closed my eyes again as Madame Pomfrey continued to check me over.
There was a sudden bang a moment later, however, followed by a multitude of voices.
“Oh for heaven’s sake!” Madame Pomfrey’s rose over all the rest. “Leave!”
“But Rina –“
“Fat chance!”
“What about –“
“I’m not going anywhere!”
“We want to –“
“Thank God you’re still alive, Rina!”
“Don’t do that!”
I closed my eyes again as the throbbing in my head intensified, releasing a sigh of relief when everything suddenly fell silent.
When I opened my eyes, I found the majority of my friends to be confused while James calmly returned his wand to his pocket.
I was smiling again for a moment, but then frowned and then proceeded to gag as a potion was literally shoved down my throat.
“You were in a heavy coma, fractured your skull, shattered practically all your bones, experienced internal bleedings, punctured a lung that then proceeded to collapse, obtained a large gash to your head, and spent the last two weeks running high fevers,” Madame Pomfrey listed off briskly while preparing the next potion. “Here.” She’d tipped it and then seven more potions into my mouth before I could conjure up the energy to protest.
“You should be dead,” she concluded frankly, tipping the last two potions into my mouth and then swishing her wand at me again.
My eyes were closed again as the throbbing and aching began to numb.
“I’m still not done administering the Skele Grow, and your lung isn’t fully healed yet either, so you should not be moving,” she went on. “I would prefer you to sleep as much as possible until your bones are fully mended. I will continue to keep you on nourishing potions, but you should start eating slightly regardless, possibly beginning tomorrow. Your fever is still high, so you will continue to be treated for that as well.” She stopped suddenly, and when I opened my eyes, it was to find her steely gaze fixed sternly on me. “You will be taking Dreamless Sleep Potions until I say otherwise. Your lack of sleep has caused your immune system to deteriorate. I’m still trying to build it back up.”
I attempted to nod meekly, but enough potions hadn’t taken effect yet to allow the movement, so I just settled for returning her gaze earnestly.
I found myself suddenly not caring much anyway; I was too tired and in too much pain.
“You,” the nurse rounded on my obnoxious friends crowded around my bed, “will return to class.”
They all simultaneously opened their mouths to protest, but then snapped them shut again and rounded on James who still had their voices.
He shrugged in response. “It’s still my turn.”
“You will go as well, Mr. Potter,” Pomfrey commanded, beginning to clear up her supplies.
“What?” He appeared outraged.
Madame Pomfrey responded by pursing her lips at him. “Miss Zar is clearly fine now and awake; there is no further need for you to remain here.”
“Fine?” James scoffed, appalled. “Look at her!” he pointed towards me.
I attempted to try and not look so pathetic.
Judging by the collective grimaces around the room as all eyes turned to me, I did not succeed.
Damn.
Madame Pomfrey sighed. “I will continue to allow one visitor at a time,” she relented. “But she,” she went on, rounding on me again, “will remain asleep.”
I almost sighed but then remembered about my lungs and instead allowed the last potion to be tipped into my mouth.
I registered some mumblings and heard my friends’ voices as my eyes drifted shut again, and I felt a gentle pressure around my fingers as the aching and my consciousness faded away.
~*~
When I next awoke, it was to a soft chuckle.
James was actually smiling slightly at me as I opened my eyes with a groan, though his smile instantly wiped the grimace off my face.
“Allie and Rose are going to be furious at you for never waking up on their turn.”
I couldn’t help but return his smile. “What time is it?”
“Just after 10:00,” he answered. “Scorpius will be upset, too, actually; his turn just ended at curfew.”
My eyes flickered out to the dark window again and I frowned. “How long was I sleeping?”
“She put you to sleep around 4:00 yesterday.”
“Yesterday?” my eyes widened.
He nodded, still smiling.
I grinned back and squeezed the hand holding mine slightly. “You’re not mad at me anymore.”
His smile instantly dropped as his eyes became more serious, boring into mine. “Ara –“
“No, you were mad at me,” I told him. “I’ve been off lately; really off for a very long while.”
“I wasn’t –“
“Yes you were,” I insisted. “I was pretty upset with you too. I still am.”
He stared at me in silence for a while. “I’ve missed you,” he spoke finally.
I offered a small smile. “I’ve missed you, too.”
His thumb rubbed gentle circles on the back of my hand, and I followed his gaze down to his hand covering mine on the white bed sheets.
I’d really missed him.
And I’d known it, but I hadn’t realized how little of me had remained without him. I could feel it now, the lack of Rina in the past year. I’d been as absent from my life as James had been.
He spoke again, after some time, drawing my eyes away from his hand and back to meet his hazel eyes.
They were dark, serious, no-messing-around James eyes. When I’d had James, there had been very few times I’d gotten those eyes from him. Over the past year, there had been a layer of coldness over them. Now, there was a depth of warmth.
The last time I’d gotten those eyes, we’d been sitting around in the bright library during lunch, me trying to do Ancient Runes and him Potions, me blowing my nose into my tissues and dropping them into my conjured trashcan, him not being in the least bothered by me sniffling across from him.
That evening, the warmth had disappeared to be replaced with a coldness, and I’d almost forgotten it until now.
“Why were you on the broom again?”
Silence.
“Why were you scared?”
I can’t say.
More silence.
He pulled his fingers from my grasp and sat back, his eyes searching deep in mine for an answer. Anything.
I felt a chill rushing through me and instantly leant towards him, reaching for his hand again. I winced at the strain but bit my lip, reaching further. He returned his hand to me as I winced again.
I pulled it back towards me as I settled back in my bed, gripping his hand in both of mine on my stomach.
“I really missed you,” I repeated.
He didn’t say anything.
I looked back at him, and I could feel the pleading expression in my eyes. “I just want you to be happy again.”
His eyes melted into a swirling, fiery amber as he leant over me and pressed his lips to the side of my head.
My eyes closed as a rush of warmth washed over me again, and I clutched his hand to me as we lapsed back into an infinite silence.
It was probably almost an hour before he suddenly spoke up again, jolting me from drifting thoughts and that haze of nearing sleep.
“You care.”
I opened my eyes and turned my head again to look at him. He wasn’t looking at my face, but at our hands, still laid across my stomach.
“For a while there, I started thinking that you actually really hated me.”
I frowned slightly, still looking at him. “So did I,” I confessed.
His eyes snapped back to mine. “Thought that you hated me or that I…?”
I held his gaze in silence for a moment, the stars outside the window catching in his eyes. “Both,” I finally admitted. “You were always getting mad at me, and you upset me.”
His eyes flickered slightly, pained. “I didn’t mean to.”
I gripped his hand tighter as his emotions flitted through his eyes in the moonlight. James was difficult like that; he was a bit of a stoic. So many times, I loved that about him, that he could balance me out when things got serious or dramatic and I was hysterical and he was patient. Other times, I wished his emotions didn’t have to hide in his eyes, that he didn’t try so hard to always be so impassive.
With James, there had always been only two choices; bouncy James, jovial, lively, always happy, smiling, laughing, James, or there was the stoic, emotionless, withdrawn, impassive, always enduring and strong and endlessly patient and composed, but hiding.
The first never failed to make me smile; the second always frustrated me to no end. But I always did my best.
So I offered him a small smile. “I know.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“You’re James,” I reminded, “You can’t hate me; I’ve always known that.”
“No,” he agreed, “I couldn’t.”
“I know,” I assured, smiling again.
“You never had to prove anything to me,” he went on, his voice dropping to a soft whisper as he stroked his thumb across the back of my hand again. “You’ll always be sweet, kind, selfless Ara, no matter what anyone says. No matter what I say.”
I quickly tore my gaze away from his, looking back to our hands.
“You’d never want to hurt anyone. You can’t see someone you love in pain.”
It was true.
“You’re too good of a person, Ara,” he averred softly. “Sometimes you get so lost in it that you forget, but it never goes away.”
I looked slowly back to him. “Kind of like when you let guilt eat you and destroy you until there’s no James left?”
It was his turn to look away.
“You have to breathe, James,” I went on. “Just step back a bit and trust yourself. Everyone else does. You’re too good for this.”
He turned back to me. “What do I do?”
“For starters,” I grinned gently, “practice should only run from 7:00 to 9:00 on a school night, two days a week, and one weekend, three hours, preferably reasonable ones. You are allowed an extra five hours a week for Quidditch as captain, and the rest of your life, you should be breathing. You should sleep from 11:00 to 8:00, eat during meals, and be sure to smile through it all. You’re not James when you don’t smile.”
He observed me silently for a moment before quirking a single eyebrow. “In that case then, I’m afraid I can only allow you ten hours a week to worry about everyone else.”
I closed my eyes, lying back in my pillows as I fought a smile.
“I can’t ration the time I spend caring, James.”
“Can you try to not let it destroy you?”
“If you do the same,” I conceded, opening my eyes again and turning back to him.
“Deal,” he grinned slightly, squeezing my fingers.
I rolled my eyes before closing them again.
“How much are you going to sleep?”
“I don’t know,” I didn’t open my eyes. “Will you sleep?”
“Maybe.”
“You probably should,” I decided, tiredness washing through me as I rolled over to the side facing him and pulled his arm up to hug to my chest.
“Probably,” he agreed. I heard a smile through his voice and grinned again myself. “Good night, Ara.”
“And sweet dreams.” My eyes flickered open to grin cheekily at him.
He only winked back with a smile still in place and motioned for me to close my eyes again.
I did so, still clutching his arm close, like the teddy bear I slept with when I was little.
~*~
Eventually, everyone got a turn to visit while I was awake.
I was screamed at a few times, Rosie had to be silenced, Allie gave me the silent treatment for a while, Callie had to take a Calming Draught, Fred and Louis poked fun at me, Albus glared a bit, Austin kept forgetting that I was in pain everywhere, and I got a nice long lecture from Scorpius.
I love my friends.
No, I’m not being sarcastic.
I promise.
(Lie).
It was already Easter Break, but I wasn’t allowed out of the Hospital Wing. Jacob was upset that I wouldn’t be home, but even he supported Madame Pomfrey’s decision to keep me, claiming that I needed to “get better.”
Prat.
I was already feeling loads better.
I mean, sure, I was still in general pain and couldn’t move much, had difficulties breathing sometimes, still ran fevers, had developed odd sleeping patterns, was covered in random bruises, had suddenly funny eating habits, my bones and damaged organs weren’t fully mended, and I still looked like general hell, but I was fine.
(That is definitely a lie).
I was stuck in the hospital wing without much to do, other than my dumb friends randomly hanging around when they had nothing better to do.
Madame Pomfrey had eventually relented to allowing me as many visitors as could fit around my bed, as long as none of them disturbed or hindered my healing. They also couldn’t spend the night with me anymore, only allowed during regular hospital hours from the start of breakfast to curfew.
James was always waiting outside the doors at 7:00 with breakfast he picked up in the kitchens and had to be kicked out at 10:00. Madame Pomfrey wouldn’t let him or anyone else skip classes anymore either, much to their dismay.
I had taken up laughing at them that I got to skip all my classes, until Rose started shoving work at me and Austin pointed out I couldn’t move, much less do anything else.
I actually reached a point a couple days after I awoke where I started wishing I could be in class. Sad, I know.
Everyone else had written home and decided that they were staying for break as well to keep me company. While I’d initially insisted that it was not necessary, I was actually rather grateful for the company. I may have died of boredom in the Hospital Wing otherwise if I was left all by myself with only Madame Pomfrey for company.
Slytherin had beat Ravenclaw in the last Quidditch match, though just barely, the final score being 270-260. Ravenclaw was still in the lead for the cup, but Slytherin still had a match left to play, against us during which they would need to score at least 100 points. We, meanwhile, would need 240 to beat them out in the standings. Yeah, I know. James wasn’t taking it too well, but at least he was trying.
I’d let him back into the changing rooms and returned the team’s brooms to them, and James was actually trying to follow my advice. All in all, the Quidditch team was looking healthier and happier, James included, which meant that I couldn’t stop grinning at them all every time they stopped by to visit.
“You’re way too excited for a girl going on her third week in the Hospital Wing,” Austin informed me as the Quidditch team, sans Ericson, trooped into the Hospital Wing to join Rose, Albus and Scorpius who were doing their homework around my bed.
Well, actually, Rose was trying to do her homework, while Scorpius was insistently attempting to stop her. Albus had already completely disregarded his homework ages ago and was exchanging amused looks with me over the arguing couple.
“You’re way too healthy for a kid returning from one of James’s Quidditch practices,” I shot back, glancing up at him.
I was sitting up in bed now, too, though I had to be supported by a whole army of fluffy pillows.
“Funny,” James made a face at me as he took the chair reserved for him right by the head of my bed. Seriously, he’d made a sign and, when that failed, put a charm on the chair to only allow him to sit in it.
I’d laughed heartily (and then lost my breath and clutched my chest as I remembered the aching from my lungs) when Fred tried to sit down and was instead flung across the room with his entire body flashing various neon colors. Needless to say, no one tried to sit in James’s chair after that.
“I thought so,” I grinned up at him.
He returned the smile and dropped his broomstick next to my bed. “So, listen, since Easter break officially begins tomorrow –“
“You can’t increase your practices over break, James,” I sighed.
“But it’s –“
“No.”
“Ara!” James whined.
I raised an eyebrow at him, to which he responded with a pout.
I held his gaze for a moment, but then lost it and burst into laughter. Which resulted in pain. Fantastic.
“I blame you,” I wheezed at James as my laughter turned to coughing and I hunched over, clutching my chest.
“Way to go, James,” Rose sent him a glare, forgetting her lecturing to Scorpius as she shot up and hurried to hand me a glass of water.
I took it gratefully and downed it, taking deep breathes as the coughing subsided before laying back into the pillows, closing my eyes.
I felt a sudden pressure on my fingers and smiled slightly as James’s hand closed around mine.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know,” I opened my eyes to meet his.
“All I want is an extra day and an extra hour.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“It’s not much!” he insisted.
I bit my lip slightly, glancing around to the rest of the team, who did indeed look as if they were doing much better.
“Pick one,” I decided.
James frowned.
“Extra day or extra hour?”
James sighed but eventually conceded. “Extra day of practice it is then.”
“Pushover,” Fred made a face at me.
I raised an eyebrow. “I could just let him go back to his old regimen.”
James smirked.
“No,” Louis declared resolutely. “That will not be necessary.”
I grinned and James smirked more smugly.
“I’m hungry,” Allison decided. “Coming?” she glanced around to everyone else.
Fred and Ausitn were already on their feet, but Callie glanced back around at me.
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll get sick of you guys next week when you have no classes.”
That seemed to settle it, and eventually, everyone filed out of the Hospital Wing, save for James, whose butt remained firmly planted in his chair.
“Not hungry?” I raised an incredulous eyebrow.
“Starved,” he assured.
I rolled my eyes but grinned, leaning back again and closing my eyes.
I’d almost forgotten what it was like to miss James.
The others all even reported that he was doing much better with being James in general. He relaxed more and was smiling more. He didn’t even bring his Quidditch plays to the Hospital Wing, which is where he spent the majority of his free time.
Only during Quittitch practices themselves did James go a bit nutty, actually, according to a disgruntled Allison. She didn’t seem to understand why I couldn’t fix him for that time, too.
I’d just sighed. He was still James, and he was still insanely passionate about Quidditch. He’d come around.
The team was performing much better, he revealed, which had him calming down slightly, at least. Even Ericson was playing tolerably. I know, I was pretty shocked too. Proud, but definitely shocked.
It was just then, as I was in the middle of feeling proud, that James’s stomach let out a loud grumble.
I opened my eyes and turned to blink at his innocent face for a moment before bursting into laughter. And, as per usual as of late, my laughter led to severe chest pains and shortness of breath and quickly turned into a coughing fit.
“Ara!” James’s eyes widened.
“I’m…f-fine,” I wheezed slightly, coughing again (attractive, I know), “Fine.”
James was watching me with concern as I took some more deep breaths and drank the glass of water he handed me.
“Are you okay?” he eyed me carefully, taking the empty glass back.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Maybe you should go eat something so that that doesn’t happen again, though,” I suggested.
James rolled his eyes but sighed. “I’m sorry.”
I rolled my eyes right back. “Shut up. Go eat.”
“I’ll eat later, I promise,” he insisted.
I raised an eyebrow.
“I missed you!” he confessed with puppy-dog eyes. “I’m making up for lost time!”
I resisted another eye roll but couldn’t help a smile.
“I missed you too, James,” I admitted.
“I’m sorry,” James’s eyes suddenly grew serious as he picked up my hand.
“Oh, please,” I snorted, “I’m the idiot that convinced myself that James Potter had spontaneously decided to hate his best friend.”
“I’m the idiot that let you,” he reminded softly.
I glanced down at my hand in his for a moment before looking back up to him. “We’ll be okay.”
He grinned again suddenly, and I couldn’t help but smile along. “Well, of course!”
I rolled my eyes but pulled my hand back, ignoring the chill that ran through my body as I did so. “Go eat.”
“But –“
“James.”
“Ara!”
It took another fifteen minutes of argument before he relented and went, vowing to eat fast. I didn’t doubt that he would, but I figure the amount of food he’d consume would negate how quickly he ate it.
Truth was, I wasn’t getting the rest Madame Pomfrey claimed I needed while James was there. I figured that I’d make the most of this half hour and take a nap, because I knew James would be back to bug me as soon as he could be.
Smiling at the thought, I lay back in my pillows and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep.
~*~
“This is sickening,” Allison declared, dropping into a chair next to my bed.
“What is?” James frowned around at her in confusion.
Allison responded by looking pointedly at my hand (once again) in James’s, before raising an eyebrow up at me.
I promptly turned red.
James noticed nothing.
Git.
“What?” James asked again, looking from her to me in puzzlement.
I was still red.
(Attractive).
I’ve actually looked real attractive for the past three weeks. Laying around in a hospital bed and all. Real attractive.
(That was sarcastic).
“Never mind,” Allison rolled her eyes.
“What do you want?” I asked her in annoyance, ignoring James’s continued perplexity.
“I have news,” she grinned suddenly.
“Really?” I sat up and went to lean towards her slightly. I was hindered, however, by pains in my chest and winced slightly, which directly prompted James to gently push me back into my pillows.
I sent him a scowl, which he ignored.
Git.
Allison was frowning at me again, head tilted to the side slightly as she observed me.
“News?” I prompted.
She sighed shaking her head. “Never mind.”
“What?” I asked, going to lean towards her again. James’s hand remained on my shoulder, however, and I sighed. “What?” I repeated. I hadn’t had any exciting news in the whole almost month that I’d spent in this Hospital Wing. I was ready to get out.
Allison gave me a once over before relenting. “I overheard Longbottom discussing with Pomfrey when she’d let you out.”
“Really?” I almost sat up again.
“Yes,” Allison nodded. “She was worried, however, about your inability to move without pain. I figured it would be good progress that she’s started thinking about considering it, but…”
“I’m not in pain!” I exclaimed immediately.
Jams snorted.
I sent him a glare.
He ignored me.
Lovely.
“She really doesn’t know how to stay still,” James explained to Allison. “That’s the problem.”
“Exactly,” Allison nodded. “And she’s always getting herself worked up.”
“Which is bad when her full energies need to be invested into getting better,” James finished.
“She also really needs to get out of here,” I grumbled, crossing my arms.
I almost winced when the action stressed some muscles, but I quickly refrained and uncrossed my arms instead.
James caught it, however, and sighed, turning back to Allison. “She’s staying here through break, at least.”
“You’re not the healer, James,” I reminded him.
He sent me a look. It was one of those looks that said to not defy him.
Now, as of late, I’ve been ignoring that look. It’s been nothing more than a mere nuisance trying to order me around.
It didn’t seem to be the same at this moment. Probably still a nuisance, but it wasn’t ordering me to do anything.
I vaguely remembered to back when that look asked me to please not get in the way of him caring.
I think that’s what the look may’ve been saying when I was cold and sick and my parents had just died and there was Quidditch practice out in the wind.
Perhaps I’d been ignoring that.
So I backed down.
Allison raised an eyebrow at me, but I ignored her.
James looked me over again carefully (me sitting innocently as I caught the look in his eye).
“But you know,” James turned slowly back to Allison.
I bit my lip.
“It may take time getting used to being up and about as it is,” he said. “Maybe it is best that she has a day or two before having to go back to classes to get herself used to getting around.”
Allison sent me a look before turning back to James. “That’s an argument you’d have to take to the healer.”
James glanced at me again before nodding.
Success.
~*~
“I love you.”
“Shut up, Ara.”
“You are my most favoritest person on earth.”
“That’s not even a real word,” Austin grumbled petulantly.
“I’m starting to regret this,” James sighed as I settled into his arm on the couch in the Gryffindor common room.
“No you’re not,” I told James.
“I will,” he corrected.
“No you won’t,” I assured.
He sighed, rolling his eyes, but didn’t argue.
So maybe I could barely walk, but he would miss visiting me in the Hospital Wing about as much as I’d miss it.
“This is ridiculous,” Albus decided, rolling his eyes at James and I from an armchair. “He doesn’t deserve for you to forgive him.”
I felt James flinch and stiffen slightly next to me, so I felt compelled to open my eyes and send the younger Potter a glare.
Al, and to a lesser extent Fred, were being really hard on James. Fred thought he was a git and Albus claimed that he was taking advantage of my general goodness.
I’d snorted at that; I don’t come equipped with general goodness. If there was a reason to not forgive James, I wouldn’t have, but I felt as if I’d contributed to the rift just as badly as he had, so it was only fair.
Albus, however, believed that James being a prick to me was inexcusable. He probably only thought so because he’s a protective prat himself, but I’d eventually decided to let him come off it on his own.
“Shut up, Al,” I told him when he met my gaze.
“I’m just saying that –“
“You’re really good at holding a grudge?” I suggested, raising an eyebrow.
“He doesn’t deserve for it to be so easy,” Albus corrected.
“Yeah because walking out onto the Quidditch pitch at 7:00 in the morning to find your best friend broken in a pool of blood is always easy,” James rolled his eyes sarcastically, glaring at his younger brother.
I flinched a bit at that and Albus’s jaw snapped shut.
Everyone else gave up on pretending to mind their own business and were instead looking back and forth between the two brothers, Callie eyeing me anxiously as well.
“I think they’re pretty even, Albus,” Scorpius spoke up after a few minutes of silence.
My breath hitched at that, James’s blood-covered face flashing before my eyes in an instant. I caught a glimpse of the scar through my peripheral vision and immediately snapped my eyes shut.
“Ara?” I felt James’s questioning eyes on me.
“Way to go, Scorpius,” I heard Albus snap at his friend, and I instinctively flinched again.
“Shut up, Al,” Rose probably rolled her eyes.
“I didn’t –“
“I was just pointing it out, Al,” Scorpius sighed. “Just let it go.”
“There’s a difference between James’s stupidity and –“
“Rina wasn’t acting with her full brilliance either, you know,” Louis pointed out.
“That’s –“
“True,” Louis finished, crossing his arms as I peeled my eyes open.
“Stop arguing,” Callie’s eyes flashed as she sent Albus a glare, making him promptly shut his mouth again. “This is stupid.”
“It’s not –“
“You’re all dumb,” Allison snapped jumping out of her chair and marching over to Albus’s. “Come on,” she grabbed his arm and yanked him up.
“But I –“
“I don’t care,” Allison sent him a glare. “If you’re going to make a habit out of upsetting people, you’re not going to spend your time with them.”
“But I’m not –“
“Yes you are,” Allison sent him a withering glare, “Move,” she dragged him from the common room with authority.
“Why can’t I ever keep up?” James sighed.
I closed my eyes again and dropped my head back against his arm as it began throbbing again.
“It’s your own doing,” Louis reminded.
“Stop it,” Callie commanded again.
I didn’t hear anyone argue with her, and instead, the soft murmur of conversation took over.
“Will you tell me?” I heard James’s voice in my ear after my heartbeat had slowed again.
I bit my lip and quickly shook my head, the pace of my heart picking up again.
“Why?”
I only shook my head again, refusing to open my eyes and look at him.
I haven’t got a clue why.
“You don’t think I deserve to know?”
I hesitated for a moment before answering honestly, “You don’t.”
I felt him pull away from me slightly, and I eventually forced my eyes open to look at him.
He looked hurt.
“It’s too terrible,” I admitted.
“Ara…”
“I mean it,” I warned. “I’m honestly scared you’ll take it badly.”
“But I –“
“Trust me, James,” I cut him off. “It’ll upset me to know that I’ve upset you.”
“Friends don’t hide things, Ara,” James stated, looking me dead in the eye, daring me to defy him again.
And, for a time, it had been easy to ignore his gaze and to defy him anyway. But I suddenly found it so difficult to defy him now.
“James…”
“Why?” he demanded, crossing his arms fixing me with a severe stare.
“Because you’re making progress,” I sighed, brushing my hair from my eyes.
He frowned slightly.
“You’ve finally stopped trying to fix everything, and you’re finally having fun again,” I went on.
“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” he raised an eyebrow, his tone edging nearer to dangerous territory.
“When was the last time you did something fun or told a joke?” I demanded, raising an eyebrow right back, “When was the last time you laughed a real laugh or smiled an honest, genuine smile? I don’t want emotionless, moody James wasting so much energy with the weight of the entire world on his shoulders that he forgets to laugh and have fun and smile. Remember when every little stupid thing was hilarious? I don’t want you to entirely forget that.”
James held my gaze for a moment more before he sighed and took my hand in his again. “I’m a big boy, Ara,” he reminded. “I can take it.”
I hesitated another moment as I stared at his pleading eyes, desperate for answers and understanding.
“Whatever happened is hard for you, and I hate that I don’t know what it is,” he admitted softly. “How do I make it better if I don’t know what it is?”
I sighed, closing my eyes again. “You don’t have to make everything better,” I told him. “That’s the point. You don’t have to fix everything.”
“If it’s you, Ara, I do,” his fingers brushed against my forehead as he moved my hair out of my face, making me open my eyes to meet his amber ones again. “I have to make that hesitation and fear go away from your eyes. I don’t like it.”
I smiled slightly, resisting an eye roll. “I don’t like it much either, James.”
“Tell me,” he said again.
My smile faded as I stared at him again, forcing myself to study his face, to really look at every bit of his face, to force my eyes to remain on that terrifying scar.
My fingers almost unconsciously moved to it, for the first time tracing the angry raised mark from his temple to the back of his jaw. My fingers trembled, and it was all I could do to not jerk away, all I could do to keep his face from flashing red, covered in blood. There was almost blood running down my fingers, and I had to force it away. My hand shook but I kept it in place, instead forcing my eyes back to his bewildered ones.
“What did they tell you happened to you?” I asked in a voice barely above a whisper, the sound of my voice barely reaching my ears over the lashing of the rain and the howling of the wind. And Lily’s scream.
I forced myself to hold it together, willing away the images of blood, steadying the shaking.
James frowned slightly. “I tripped over my feet and crashed into the bar, right? A lot of the bottles broke and the glass cut me…” He trailed off, staring at me for a while as I forced myself to hold his gaze. “Stacey says she tried to fix it, but she wasn’t exactly sober…. She’s really sorry it scarred.”
I didn’t responded.
“But I probably shouldn’t drink so much again, huh?” his lips twitched upward slightly. “I’ll probably never touch alcohol again if it means marring my gorgeous face.”
I shook my head slightly, keeping my voice from shaking as I replied. “Alcohol is bad; it makes people do stupid things.”
“No doubt,” he agreed.
“Because you can’t control what happens to you when you’re not sober,” I went on, still holding his steady gaze.
“Exactly,” he agreed.
“But you don’t have to control everything,” I reminded him, “Sometimes it all just…falls into place. In its own way. Sometimes only when we let it go, let life…run lose, take its own course, that’s when it’s the truest, purest form of life. Everything else is…artificial, fake; it becomes forced and planned, too well-planned and orderly and precise. It’s when you forget to laugh and smile and breathe and live and be you…be everything that’s you and nothing else. Trying to take control distorts the way it’s supposed to play out. You just need to let go and let it happen. You know that, James, don’t you?”
He stared at me for a long while before answering me. “The unpredictable will destroy your life, Ara.”
“The unpredictable is unavoidable; no matter how hard you try to take control and tighten the reigns, it will happen if it’s meant to happen. You can’t control the unpredictable, James; you need to let it happen. I can’t tell you if you don’t know that.”
He stared at me again before speaking after what felt like an eternity. “What happened that night Ara?” he questioned in a soft voice, imploring eyes boring into mine. “What did I do?”
I almost closed my eyes to collect myself, but I feared the images that would plague me if I did; they’d scare me into silence yet again. James’s eyes were the only refuge, the only safety from those horrific images of that terrifying night.
My heart nearly stopped every time I thought of it, at every thought of thinking, just for a moment, that he could be dead, the miniscule instance in which he was dead in my mind. It was a tiny moment, a millisecond in the spectrum of eternity, but it would haunt me forever.
“Leap of Faith,” I breathed out before even realizing it. “You jumped, and you didn’t come back.”
James’s brow furrowed, his eyes still filled with endless questions.
“It was a branch, a stupid awkward one on the ground,” I went on, my fingers running over the scar again but my eyes never leaving his. “It was so close to the ground, James; I could see your blood mixing with the rain on the grass. You turned the floor of that balcony red as if someone had used a spell; there was so much blood. You looked dead; Lily thought you were dead. I thought you were dead.”
There were tears in my eyes, and James was frozen.
“I was counting,” I went on, “Callie knew something wasn’t right, and I was counting, but your broom just lay there; it didn’t move, and I thought…. You were unconscious before I got you, but I let you get close enough to the ground for that branch to get to you. You were unconscious before you could summon your broom.” My voice faded into a whisper as tears slowly slid over my cheeks, dripping off my chin, landing in my hair and on my collar bone, hot and cold, all at once.
I tore my gaze away from his and finally closed my eyes, burying my face into his chest and succumbing to every vivid detail of that night, only his heart beating over the howling wind.
A/N: Have I made up for that horrendous wait?
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.
Chapter 18: Confession
James spent two days wallowing in his office on the pitch.
I spent two days feeling guilty in the kitchen with about ten chocolate cakes to myself.
Albus spent two days going from the pitch to the kitchens and then back again, repeatedly informing us both that we were dumb.
Thanks, Al.
We still had two more days of break before the castle was retaken by the rest of the obnoxious students (as if us, the ones left, weren’t the most obnoxious ones) and I was still in the kitchens. Not like I could move even if I wanted to though.
I had a comfy armchair all to myself, thanks to some nifty transfigurations (ahem, thanks, Al), and the house elves had set me up with a table of calories. I even had my wand to summon plates and bowls that I couldn’t reach. And I had a book, so my dreams of reading for the rest of my life with all of my food coming to me without having to get up were finally coming true.
I’m going to be so fat by the end of the week. I must’ve already gained twenty pounds after quitting Quidditch, and all this food had to be an added fifty. I probably now weighed close to two hundred pounds. Awesome.
“What’s with you?” Louis raised an amused eyebrow when he walked up to me scowling at the cupcake I was eating.
“I probably weigh about two hundred pounds.”
Louis snorted. “You barely weigh 120, Rina. I think barely 115 when you were checked into the hospital wing.”
My eyes widened. “But-but I used to weigh one-hundred-and-eighteen-and-a-half before I quit Quidditch!” I cried.
Louis snorted again.
“Oh God!” I stuffed the rest of the cupcake into my mouth and then summoned a giant extra chocolate fudge, chocolate chip brownie cake covered in extra chocolate icing with tons of chocolate sprinkles.
(Alright, so maybe I’m a bit depressed).
“Okay, Rina,” Louis quickly snatched the fork and the cake from my hands before I could dig in.
He’s my new Enemy Number One.
“You know, I think you’re the only girl I know that tries to regularly gain weight.”
“I’m 5’10”!” I cried. “This isn’t healthy!”
“I think that’s what we’ve been saying for months, Rina,” Louis sighed, sitting down in a boring wooden chair next to me. “This is what happens when you start avoiding the Great Hall.”
“I live in the kitchens!”
“With cake,” Louis reminded. “You need some meat on your bones, not diabetes.”
I scowled. “What do you want?”
Louis sighed, running his hands over his face. “Rose says that Allison walked into the dormitory, sat down on her bed and started to cry.”
My heart stopped.
“She says that she won’t say anything,” he looked back at me with a heart-wrenching expression. “She and Callie don’t know what to do.”
~*~
If I were a muggle movie, I would’ve run through the castle up to Gryffindor tower, shouted the password at the Fat Lady, and flown up the stairs to the dormitory, bursting through the door just in time to make Allie all better.
But I’m not a muggle movie.
So, instead, Louis had to half carry me to the portrait hole at a snail’s pace with me shouting at him to hurry it up please, I had to endure a ten minute lecture from the Fat Lady about mistreating my loved ones while Louis smirked all smugly at me, I practically crawled up the stairs, and then fell into the dormitory in time for Callie to hurry over and usher me to my bed while Rose told me off for wandering around by myself when I could barely stand.
Yeah, like that’s really all we have to worry about when Best Friend is over there with silent tears streaming down her face as if her entire world’s fallen apart.
“She won’t even look at me,” Callie whispered, appearing close to tears herself.
I looked at her myself, sat up in her bed with her legs pulled to her chest, hugging them tight as her chin rested on her knees and she stared at the opposite wall, tears cascading down her cheeks, eyes red, strands of blonde hair stuck to her face.
I felt my heart shatter.
She turned to me suddenly, her hollow eyes meeting mine across the room.
“You were right.”
Oh no.
“This is that day,” she went on. Her voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper, filled with tears.
I felt a twist in the pit of my stomach.
Why do people always cry when I’m right?
“This is that day where I fall in love and realize how deep I’ve dug myself into that hole.”
And here we go again.
Fantastic.
I should really stop being right.
“I think,” I joined her on her bed, sitting across from her and not breaking eye contact, “this is a good time to take a very deep breath and stop crying.”
She stared at me incredulously.
“That way, your brain has a moment to start working and be used for the first time in ages.”
“Could you not, Rina?” Allison glared through her tears before looking away. “This is just not a really good time. I’ve just realized that I’ve destroyed my life.”
“Allie –“ Rose started.
“I mean, I thought it was going to get better now but…” Her dead eyes made their way back to mine, just for a moment. “I thought that I still had my chance, and I thought that I’d taken it.”
“You did,” Callie said desperately.
Allison only shook her head, however. “It was just an illusion; a false hope that someone worth something would…”
There was silence for a moment as Allison went back to staring at her wall.
It was then that I really noticed the ring around her middle finger that she’d been twisting around for ages.
And then my heart melted.
It was duct tape.
Jacob had once decorated it with markers and had it proclaiming sloppily “All My Love” before presenting it to Sophie on their first Christmas after being married. The rule was to make the gifts, and he wasn’t very creative, so he asked me for help. I wasn’t all that creative either, but I’d picked up the duct tape and the markers and laid them out on the kitchen table along with anything else we could find on that Christmas Eve night.
We’d both stared at the various useless materials scattered across the wooden table, me fully aware of the confidential information that Sophie had made him brownies.
It was hopeless.
“It’s the thought that counts, Jake,” I’d told him after quitting and going to bed after midnight.
Mum and Dad had been at some posh Christmas party that night, so I spent the night with Jacob and Sophie. We were going to go over to do presents at home in the morning, but that morning when we were having breakfast, me shoveling my food down my throat so that I could go open my presents fast, Jacob cleared his throat nervously, garnering mine and Sophie’s attention.
“I didn’t know what to make you,” he admitted, tugging on the collar of his sweater. “But I had this thought, and I wanted you to have it.”
Sophie had actually cried when Jake presented her with the duct tape and marker ring with its thought, “All My Love.”
My closet romantic started peeping out at the breakfast table that Christmas morning as they began kissing. I threw my cereal at them, but I couldn’t get rid of that big cheesy grin on my face for the rest of break.
The next Christmas, my parents died.
Jake and Sophie brought me to Kings Cross Station at the end of break. I barely noticed through my haze when Sophie pulled me aside and slid the duct tape and marker ring onto my finger, kissing my cheek as she hugged me tight. “So that you know that you’re always loved,” she’d whispered in my ear. “So that you remember that love always exists.”
The marker was starting to fade, but I didn’t think the thought ever would.
By the next fall, my mood and my attitude were at its worst. I barely noticed anything anymore, and I forgot Rose’s birthday.
But I’d been fighting with her for ages and we could just barely get along anymore. We were fighting the entire week of her birthday.
But she was my best friend, and I loved her. By then, the marker may have been faint, but I still loved her as much as I had when I’d met her and she became my best friend, always there. So I gave her the duct tape ring.
Rose was having a really hard time admitting that she loved Scorpius, and as a result, they fought constantly. Well, it was mostly Rose screaming at Scorpius and upsetting him, which led to Albus becoming annoyed with Rose.
The two cousins bickered all winter, and Rose could barely stand the sight of him by the end of it.
Callie had to remind her that he was her brother and that she loved him, so to remind him, she gave him the duct tape ring, the marker but a shadow.
Allison was moping around that spring for quite some time. She was upset, because she had to share Al with his then girlfriend Melissa, and Allison had never been very good at sharing. She’d been feeling neglected and ignored, and she’d been extremely moody as a result. It had been a bright Saturday afternoon when Albus had skipped out on meeting her in the library to study for the upcoming Arithmancy O.W.L.s in favor of spending time with Melissa instead.
But Allie had smiled when Albus dropped onto the couch next to her that evening and slung an arm around her, grabbed her hand and sliding the plain duct tape ring onto her middle finger.
Neither had said anything, but in the depths of my cynical mind, back where my closet romantic was hiding, I’d probably smiled.
“He loves you,” I blurted out before I could catch myself.
She turned to stare at me.
“It’s just the words that faded, but never the thought,” I went on, a cheesy grin threatening to creep onto my face.
“No matter what you do or who you become, all he’s going to remember fifty years from now is the little blonde girl that snatched the last chocolate muffin from his hands on his very first morning eating breakfast in the Great Hall of Hogwarts. That blonde’s the best friend he gave his love to,” I nodded to the ring.
Allison stared at me blankly for a moment.
“Are you out of your mind?” she finally questioned incredulously.
“Do you remember when you asked me if I could think of anybody?” I asked in response. “Remember when you asked me if I thought you could have that?”
Allison stared at me for a long while.
“You’re out of your mind,” she concluded. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Funny,” I rolled my eyes sarcastically, “That’s what everyone said when I announced I was going to play matchmaker for Callie and Austin,” I reminded. “I knew a good bit about it all then, didn’t I?”
“You did what?” Callie sent me a look.
“Oh please,” I rolled my eyes, glancing around at her. “That git would still be muddling around thinking the entire idea of him being good enough for you to be preposterous if I hadn’t taken the effort to clue him in.”
She just stared a bit more.
I rolled my eyes again before turning back to Allison. “I was also the first one to bet on Rosie and Scorpius, remember? Trust me on this.”
She blinked down at the duct tape ring again before looking back up at me, that little girl with faith in the world staring back at me. “You think?”
“I know,” I averred positively.
~*~
Allison had barely stepped off the staircase after Callie and Rose helped me hobble down before Albus had grabbed her hand and dragged her from the common room.
The only explanation anyone got was a quick but determined, “I have to talk to you.”
I was grinning like a mad woman down at the Gryffindor table sandwiched in between Callie and Louis.
I don’t think I’ve been this ecstatic since –
“You know, I don’t think I’ve seen you this ecstatic since Valentine’s Day,” Callie observed.
I grinned a bit more (which was actually possible as it turns out).
“Albus has this way of making your entire life without even realizing it,” I explained, picking up a blueberry muffin.
Callie smiled as well, shaking her head. “You said the same thing about Austin that day.”
“Well, I am generally fantastic,” Austin puffed out his chest.
Callie and I both rolled our eyes as I bit into my muffin, but she went so far as to kiss his lips afterwards, which consequently inflated his ego a bit more.
“Way to go, Cals,” Rose rolled her eyes as well while Austin smirked smugly.
“Well,” I continued to grin as I finished off my muffin. “It’s that look on their faces that makes my life,” I admitted.
“Which one?” Scorpius raised an eyebrow.
“It’s the one,” I waved my fork around a bit before digging into my eggs. “When Callie sat down next to Austin in Herbology on Valentine’s Day and he looked at her with that look on his face,” I looked back up at them and explained. “When I just mentioned to Albus that he’s in love with Allison that day in the library, he just blinked at me once and his entire expression changed. It was that look when Rose came storming into the common room on our first Friday night of fourth year, and she didn’t understand why no one wanted to do their homework,” I turned to Scorpius. “I looked at you and you had that look on your face for a second before you were on your feet and snogging her out her mind.”
Scorpius and Rose both turned a brilliant shade of red while I smiled some more, glancing around to the others.
“It’s that look that says ‘Oh shit, I’m in love,’ and you entirely surrender yourself to the fact,” I sighed, returning to my eggs. “I’ve seen that look four times now. The first time I saw it was the summer after my first year when I first met Sophie,” I remembered. “I didn’t like her much because I’d just gotten back from school and Jake had no time for me because he liked her better. She met us at the zoo. Jake said I wasn’t allowed to have ice cream until after we ate lunch, so I got mad at him. When he went to find the restroom, Sophie bought me this huge chocolate cone. When he got back I had chocolate ice cream and the hugest grin on my face at the elephant house, and when I looked at him, he was looking at Sophie with that look on his face and the vague concept of love began to make sense to me for the first time in my life.”
Rose rolled her eyes again while Austin snorted.
“Closet romantic in denial?” he raised an eyebrow at me.
I sent him a glare and returned to my breakfast. “I just love that I know from the moment I see that look on your faces that my girls will be happy for the rest of their lives. I know that, and I feel a bit of that stress in my mind melt away, and I breathe a little easier, and I can sleep at night in peace. I stop worrying about Rose stressing herself out and Callie moping and Allison in broom closets.”
Louis only shook his head. “You stop getting involved and meddling?” he raised an eyebrow. “That’ll never happen.”
I crossed my arms and sent him a look. “When was the last time I interfered in Rosie’s life?”
“When she claimed she couldn’t possibly know anything about love, and said she was absolutely certain she wasn’t in love with Scorpius,” he answered back immediately. “You refused to believe her and wouldn’t leave her alone for weeks.”
“But that’s because I was right, and I was afraid she was going to do something stupid,” I defended. “And I would’ve panicked a hell of a lot more if I hadn’t seen that look on Scorpius’s face that told me he was head over heels out of his mind.”
“Will someone please remind me what’s the point of discussing my love life at breakfast?” Rose demanded, sending me an annoyed look.
I shrugged. “Just a topic of discussion.”
“Would you like it if I turned your love life into a topic of discussion?” she raised an eyebrow.
I snorted, picking my fork back up. “I have no love life.”
“You’re in love with the best friend you’ve been fighting with for the past two years,” she reminded.
“Okay, first of all,” I looked back at her, “I’m not fighting with him anymore. And second, a one-sided crush doesn’t constitute as much of a love life.”
“Not to mention you haven’t so much as kissed a bloke in about two years,” Austin piped up.
I sent him a glower.
He actually seemed happy about the fact.
Dumb-arse, pratty little, git-prick dickhead.
I hate you, Donald.
“I hate you, Donald.”
Rose hit him on the head for me.
Thank you, Rosie.
“Thank you, Rosie.”
“He’s right, though.”
Bint.
“Bint,” I grumbled darkly, returning my attention to my plate.
Fine, so maybe I haven’t had much of a dating life, ever. It’s not bad to be a bit particular about who I decided to crush on.
I mean, if I don’t watch myself, I end up chasing after people like James.
God, I’m so screwed.
I start to panic every time I think of that little situation. It’s relatively ignorable if I don’t think about it, but when people bring it up…
Damn it, now my head hurts.
I set my fork down again and instead picked up my glass of chocolate milk, finishing it before getting up from the table.
“I’m taking a walk,” I mumbled as I stumbled to my feet.
“But you can’t walk,” Rose reminded, jumping up as well.
I sent her a glare.
Scorpius pulled her back down onto the bench and handed her a goblet of pumpkin juice. “Breathe,” he told her.
She hesitated as she took the goblet, but Louis stood up and grabbed my arm as I stumbled a bit again. “She’ll be fine,” he assured the redhead before turning to send me a look before I could protest.
I closed my mouth and sighed, conceding. “Yes, Rose; Louis’s coming with me,” I told her through gritted teeth.
“Stop being dramatic, Rina,” Callie waved a hand at me as Louis rolled his eyes at me.
Stupid Veela.
“Come on,” he tugged gently on my arm. “Fresh air will do you good.”
Louis let me walk by myself for the most part, just keeping a firm grip on my arm to keep me upright.
“You know, you are actually allowed to like James,” he told me as we stepped out onto the grounds.
I snorted. “Sounds chaotic.”
“Yeah, because Rosie and Scorpius aren’t chaotic.”
Touché.
I glance up at him and sighed. “They fit because they’re so different. James and I are too alike.”
“Rose and Scorpius are too different,” he said. “Callie and Austin, I could see right away. Same with Albus and Allison; they fit. I thought you were out of your mind when you suggested Rose and Scorpius, though. They’re so beyond opposites, they shouldn’t work, but they do. You and James are so alike that you shouldn’t work either, but I think you might.”
“Might?” I raised an eyebrow.
“You shouldn’t,” he admitted. “But I remember seeing that look on your face, too. That evening in the common room when Callie suggested it. ‘Oh, shit; I’m in love.’”
“You know, that’s what I was thinking then, too,” I smiled wryly.
“You know, I think I’m starting to breathe a little easier,” he smiled back.
I snorted. “I’m starting to panic.”
“Why?”
I shrugged as I carefully stepped over a rock on the green. “I feel overwhelmed.”
“Why?” Louis repeated.
“I don’t know,” I looked back up at him. “When I get involved in your lives, it’s only when I’m absolutely confident beyond a reasonable doubt. I don’t know at all about this, though. I keep out of things when I don’t know. Probably because that’s when I get overwhelmed and start panicking.”
Louis looked at me for a moment as we came to a stop before starting to walk again. “You know, you’re terrible at relaxing.”
“Oh, well I’m sorry we can’t all be perfect Veela children,” I snapped. “I’m afraid I can’t handle my stress as gracefully as you can.”
Louis snorted. “I really don’t know how to feel about that, Rina.”
“You know what?” I stopped as we got to the lake and turned to cross my arms at him, “This is why you don’t have a girl; you’re too perfect.”
“No,” he shook his head, “I don’t have a girl because you fell off your broomstick last month, so I couldn’t go home and stood up a girl I may have had a chance with.”
I blink at him for a moment.
That entirely went over my head.
“Umm…”
Louis sighed, pulling me down to sit on the grass next to him.
“I met her in town towards the end of summer, and I liked her,” he began. “I ran into her during the holidays, and she helped me pick out a gift for Lucy,” he chuckled slightly. “I made an absolute fool out of myself when I tried to explain to her why I was in a store that predominantly sold pink skirts to little girls. She was shopping for her little sister and helped me out.”
“She pretty?” I felt a smirk creep onto my lips.
“Gorgeous,” Louis admitted, glancing wistfully across the lake.
“Spend a lot of time with her?” I continued to smirk.
“Practically every day.”
“She like you?”
He sighed, turning back to me with a nod. “I tried not to lead her on, you know, since I had to come back here, but she got offended when she realized I was trying to avoid her towards the end of break…”
“What did you do?” I demanded, feeling myself panic a bit again. If he ruined his chances with this girl before –
“I almost kissed her,” he confessed, running his fingers through his hair. “But then I didn’t….”
I felt my eyes narrow.
“Did you run away?”
He nodded sheepishly, avoiding my eyes.
“Prat!” I hit him over the head a few times.
“Hey!” he restrained me, “I went through both Dom and Vic attacking me; I got it.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“I found her the next day; it was the day before we were meant to come back, and I told her the truth,” he explained.
“Truth?” I raised an eyebrow.
Telling a muggle the truth is illegal.
“Well, I evaded the actual truth,” he admitted. “I told her that I was returning to boarding school.”
“And what did she say?” I questioned.
“She asked when I’d be back,” he answered, face tinged slightly red. “I told her Easter, except...I’m here.”
“Harsh,” I grimaced.
“I know,” he agreed with a sigh, looking back across the lake. “She’s probably spent all week cursing my name.”
“Want me to come home with you over summer and explain how it’s all my fault?” I offered.
He shook his head. “I just barely managed to convince her that she couldn’t write me, so she probably knew something was up. She won’t buy whatever story you can cook up to explain this whole thing away. She’s probably already decided I’m a jerk pretty boy.”
“Well, you are a pretty boy,” I admitted, grinning up at him. “A very pretty boy. You could probably use that to your advantage.”
“Thanks,” he rolled his eyes sarcastically, “You know, I really don’t know how I feel about you calling me ‘pretty.’”
“Oh, come on,” I scoffed, “Why do you and Scorpius always get offended by that? Boys can be pretty.”
“Yeah, if they’re poofs.”
I snorted. “You’re an extremely manly and attractive male. Better?”
“Much.”
I rolled my eyes.
Boys.
“You know, you are actually a very beautiful type of boy, Louis,” I told him.
He groaned.
“I’d date you if you didn’t baby me worse than Jake,” I went on nonchalantly.
“Rina,” he groaned a bit more.
“What?” I raised an eyebrow at him innocently.
“You treat me worse than Vic and Dom,” he sighed, shaking his head.
“So then we’re even,” I said. “No worries.”
“I’m very manly,” he reminded me.
“I know,” I assured.
“Just because I try to avoid being stupid doesn’t mean –“
“I know, Louis,” I grinned back up at him. “You’re a gentleman.”
He groaned again. “Manly,” he corrected.
I only shook my head again, suppressing another (extremely ladylike) snort. “Victoire and Dominique are your big sisters, Louis,” I reminded him, “You have every excuse to be a gentleman. And you know what?’ I went on before he could interrupt. “You ooze gentlemanliness so much that this girl probably knows it, too, and I’m sure you can explain this to her.”
He sighed, shaking his head. “She makes me act worse the Austin. I’m sure any chance at displaying ‘gentlemanliness’ was out the window when she saw me holding that sparkly eye shadow like a clueless idiot. I couldn’t even remember why I was holding makeup when I saw her.”
I smiled. Louis is a sweetheart. “I’ve decided that I’m going to interfere with this. You know what that means, don’t you?”
“There goes my sanity?” he suggested.
“Well, yes,” I admitted with a nod, “But also that there’s something here.”
He sighed, looking away again, running his fingers through his dark blond hair. “I hope so.”
I grinned a bit more.
“What’s her name?”
Louis smiled a bit. “Amber.”
I turned it over in my head a bit and then grinned.
“What’s she like?”
He was silent for a while, watching the sun glint off the rippling water of the lake.
“You know how people will ask you to explain something and you just can’t think of anything to say?” he asked after a while.
I smiled. “Because they’re to good for words.”
He nodded.
“Then I guess I’ll have to come home with you this summer to meet her myself, won’t I?” I grinned. “I can’t wait to tell her embarrassing stories about you.”
“Hey now!” he cried, whirling around to point a finger in my face. “I’m part-Veela; I’m too graceful and suave to have any embarrassing stories.”
I bit my lip and frowned slightly. He’s right; I’m stumped.
Damn it.
Stupid Veela.
Well…
“There was that time when you got drunk and –“
“I’m a graceful drunk, thanks,” he crossed his arms.
“Unless you catch a glimpse of Sapphire Goode’s bra across the room and end up in the punch bowl in an attempt to get to her,” I reminded. “Alcohol does not impair your werewolf vision it would seem if you could actually see her bra across the room. Even my sober eyes could barely confirm from that far away that her shirt was indeed unbuttoned that low. You’re awfully eager when you discover a girl’s underwear.”
Louis was already bright red and avoiding my eyes.
“But your graceful drunk self assured me that your broom closet rendezvous with Sapphire was entirely worth tripping into the bar and having to wear the food table,” I went on. “You know, that girl is some sort of legend to the rest of us; no one can seem to understand how she managed to lure Louis Weasley of all blokes into a broom closet. I should inform them that they should all start walking around with their bras hanging out. You wouldn’t know who to jump first.”
“Shut up, Rina,” he grumbled, beet red.
“I’ve never seen your eyes light up like that, actually,” I ignored him. “It was like that bra made your whole life. You didn’t even notice the trifle in your hair. She seemed to have made sure to take care of the chocolate icing that had been smeared on your face though….”
“Rina,” he warned.
“Yes?” I raised an innocent eyebrow.
He turned away from me stoically, still glowing red, and I couldn’t help a snort.
Louis had been entirely appalled to learn of his behaviors at the end of year party last year. He was a gentleman through and through, and his lecherous behavior had thoroughly terrified him. He’d tried to apologize to Sapphire, but she only seemed interested in another go-round in the broom closet. Austin, Allie and I had been sure to laugh heartily at the look on his face.
Good times.
“Please don’t tell her about that,” he begged.
I smirked a bit. “We’ll see.”
~*~
I hesitated a bit at the entrance to the Quidditch pitch, trepidation once again rising in my chest. Which was stupid, really, because it was James. Why would I, of all people, be afraid of talking to James? He should be the once scared of me; it’s pretty intimidating when I need to talk to someone. I’m pretty scary, see. It’s because I’m always right, and people generally fear the truth. I’m pretty badass, actually, striking fear in the hearts of my friends and peers. Scary-shit.
And yet, I’m getting slightly scared at the thought of talking to James.
Awesome.
I took a deep, steadying breath and stepped onto the pitch.
I then proceeded to nearly sway and fall over, but I managed to catch myself with years of practice.
Louis made me come out here to talk to James because he thought that it was “important” that I do so.
Prat.
He was probably just annoyed at me for spending an hour detailing his most embarrassing moments. When it comes to a git like Louis, he’s so perfect that his embarrassing moments kind of take the cake. It’s a bit amusing actually.
But, the point is, he sent me away so that he could tend to his wounded ego.
Despite that truth, he insisted that, that wasn’t the case at all and it truly was “important” that I talk to James.
I was a bit annoyed at him for lying to me, so I refused to allow him to walk me down.
He was a bit upset at me for insisting on wandering off alone (more like he was scared of Rose); nevertheless, he let me stumble off on my own.
Which left me swaying at the entrance to the Quidditch pitch after an excruciatingly long walk-stumble-trip type journey and endless amounts of time to begin fearing the aspect of talking to James.
Stupid prat Veela.
But since I’m a Gryffindor anyways, I made my (slow) way to the Gryffindor changing rooms and stepped inside.
God, I missed this.
I smiled wryly as I looked around at the lockers and wooden benches, breathing in the scent of broomstick polish, shampoo and sweat. The last time I’d been here, I’d left ecstatic that James hadn’t yelled at me.
The time before that, I’d quit.
I suppose it was time to see which way me luck would sway this time.
I stepped over what appeared to be Fred’s shorts and one of Austin’s abandoned shoes and approached the closed door to James’s Captain’s office.
Hesitating only a moment more, I pushed open the door and peeked in.
Go figure.
James was at the desk, bent over various parchments, the desktop littered with various plays and diagrams.
And he’d been doing so well.
I sighed again and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind myself.
“James.”
“No, Ara,” was his only response. He didn’t even bother to glance up or so much as acknowledge my presence beyond those two words.
“But it’s kinda important,” I stepped farther into the room.
“Really?” He still didn’t look up.
“Louis thinks it is.”
“Oh, well if Louis says,” he scoffed, scribbling away with a quill on whatever little space there was left on his parchment.
“James.”
“What, Ara?” He finally looked up at me.
My breath caught at the look in his eyes.
They were cold, emotionless, hiding James eyes.
That’s what scared me.
That’s what I’d been scared of in the first place.
“What?” he repeated.
Rose says that I’m just as bad as James, except rather than choosing to hide behind stoicism, I hid behind cynicism.
I’d told her to shut her face and that she didn’t know what she was talking about, at which point Scorpius had sent me one if his “I’m-mad-at-you-but-I’m-too-annoyingly-patient-to-tell-you-off” looks.
“You told me you wouldn’t…relapse or anything,” I reminded him, approaching him and walking around the desk.
“Ara –“
“Do you remember Louis’s birthday?” I asked suddenly, barely making sense of the thoughts running through my head, barely keeping up.
James blinked at me for a moment, but then sighed, setting down his quill. “Thirteen?”
I nodded, clearing some space on the corner of his desk and hopping up. “It was just before we came back to school, a week. We were all at Shell Cottage and Teddy managed to convince use all that diving off that cliff into the ocean would be fun.”
“It was fun,” James reminded, grinning slightly.
“Despite Rose and Callie’s hysterics,” I agreed. “Until you didn’t come back up from the water.”
James ran his fingers through his hair, avoiding my eyes. “Ara –“
“And Callie had that feeling and I knew something was wrong –“
“So you jumped,” James finished with a sigh.
“The thought that you might be dead had me paralyzed with fear for about half-a-second before I jumped,” I corrected, “And I never wanted to feel that feeling again.
“Your foot was caught in some kelp or something, and you were trying, but you just made it worse,” I went on, cold water surrounding me, saltwater stinging my eyes as I forced them open. “And when you looked at me, you were scared.”
“You just barely got that stuff off my foot,” he remembered.
“And everyone was in hysterics, panicking at the beach.” It had been a kind of amusing sight, under any other circumstance. “Your Aunt Fleur screamed at us for hours; she practically grounded us for our parents before sending us back home to them to be more punished. She and Victoire were still screaming at Teddy when I had to come back for my wand the next morning.”
“Hysterical angry Veelas,” James shrugged.
“When I found you on the train the next week, you refused to talk to me,” I looked back to him. “You were furious at me actually.”
“I was a fourteen-year-old boy furious at the fact that his girl best friend had to save his life, actually,” he corrected. “Ego and pride stuff, you know.”
“Yes,” I nodded, “I know.”
“But I’m eighteen now, Ara,” he reminded. “I’m not going to get mad.”
“You actually thought you hated me,” I told him, looking him dead in the eye. “You actually thought you didn’t care anymore. You told them all that I was a selfish, conceited bitch; you told Fred you would’ve left me in the common room.”
James looked away, avoiding my eyes. “I wouldn’t have,” he assured me quietly.
“But you thought you would’ve,” I reiterated. “And you thought I wouldn’t bat an eye if you died, that I couldn’t care less about you and Quidditch and your future. You were convinced that Callie made me bring you that potion and that I quit to screw you over.”
“But I was wrong.”
I nodded. “So was I.”
He glanced back up at me.
“The scariest thing about this isn’t how you choose to handle your near-death experience,” I admitted. “I know you’re a big boy now and can take care of yourself. I’m just scared of everything else.”
“What else?” James frowned.
His eyes had melted to concern as I stared into them. “Of you being mad at me. And When I got over that, I was afraid of that feeling again. That feeling that came with thinking you were dead, twice now. Each time, it was barely half-a-second, but I can’t forget it; I never will. It’s that feeling that’s going to haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life; those two instances of half-a-second of my life. And if you know what happened that night, it becomes real and I can’t hide from it anymore. When you didn’t know, I could pretend that your assumptions were reality, and I could be mad at that. But the truth scares me,” I confessed softly, looking away.
He gently took my hand, which I realized had snapped his quill, and smoothed my fingers out. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I demanded, pulling my hand back and piercing him with an angry gaze, “For having a good time? You can handle the truth however you want, James, but don’t go feeling guilty for how I handle it.”
“But I –“
“I’m a big girl, too, James,” I reminded. “I can take care of myself as well.”
He looked at me for a moment and then sighed, taking my hand in his again. “I sometimes feel as if I really do need you. When I get way too lost in my head and all I can see is red.”
“Me too,” I admitted, smiling softly, annoyance melting away again in an instant. “That’s what best friends are for, right? To take care of you?”
He nodded, tugging on my hand gently and pulling me off the desk and into his chair.
“When you least want them there,” I went on, “When you think you’re right and you can do it yourself.”
He pulled me into a hug, perched on his legs, and I closed my eyes as my head landed on his chest. I instantly melted into him and his arms, giving in to the need for comfort and James.
“I’ve gone insane without you, Ara,” he spoke into my ear. “Let’s not try it again; I can’t do this alone.”
“Me neither,” I mumbled.
“I’m sorry for making you feel something terrifying,” he said softly.
“It’s okay.”
My ear was pressed against his heart. It beat loud and strong, very much alive.
A/N: So...it's been a while. I've been through my first year of college since I saw you all last, believe it or not. And I got close to no writing done, unfortunately. I've been trying though, I promise! This is pretty much what I've got so far. Please review if you readers still exist! Unfortunately, I'm unable to get around to actually answering them these days, but I swear, I still read, love, and take from all of them! Thanks you:)
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