You are viewing a story from harrypotterfanfiction.com
More Than Friends by Spaz
Chapter 1: Nothing More…Right?
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
"Oooh, Drakie poo, I'm so proud of you!" one of my bestfriends, Pansy Parkinson, squealed clinging on to my other bestfriend, Draco Malfoy. Draco rolled his eyes and said "I thought I told you not to call me that,"
I also rolled my eyes, but in a mixture of jealousy and annoyance. I was annoyed because that little nickname really was stupid, but I was jealous because, at least she was able to call him that.
See, I'm in love with Draco, we've been bestfriends forever, and I've always had a crush on him. But that crush turned into love last year, but nothing ever happened, probably because of Pansy, they've been together off and on for about two years. They always break up, I don't see why they don't call it quits, though, I think that's the jealous part of me talking.
"Sorry!" Pansy pouted, she leaned in to kiss him, but he turned away from her and said "If you keep doing that, I swear I'm going to leave you for Jolina," we all laughed. That had always been our joke. If only they knew how much I wished he would leave her for me.
Draco suddenly looked at his watch said "Come on, Jo, we need to get to the prefects compartments, we're already late," I straightened out my extremely short skirt and said "All right, let's go " "Oh, my goodness, Jo, could that skirt get any shorter?!" Pansy said, "You're looking a little slutty," I knew she was just jealous that her skirt wasn't as short. "Good," I said winking at her.
"See you later,babe," Draco said kissing Pansy, I looked away and started walking, Draco right behind me. Halfway there the train lurched and I fell backwards, but Draco caught me around the waist. I could feel myself blush slightly, he was the only guy who could do that to me.
"You're so clumsy, Jo," he whispered in my ear, making me blush even more. "You're just now realizing that?" I asked. "No, but I am just now realizing how sexy it is," his hands remained on my waist as we continued walking, I figured it was because he didn't want me to fall again.
When we got to the compartement, I surveyed the rest of the prefects from the other houses. In Hufflepuff there was annoying Ernie MacMillian and crybaby Hannah Abbot. Ravenclaw there was
this one kid named Terry Boot and the less annoying of the Patil twins, Padma Patil. From Gryffindor, my enemy house, was poor, blood traitor, and a bit cute, Ron Weasley and know-it-all mudblood, Hermione Granger.
As the Head Boy, and Girl talked, I fixed my prefect badge, but it fell on the floor. I bent over to pick it up and when I looked back up I saw Ron Weasly staring down my low cut shirt, with his mouth open slightly. "As I stood back up I said "Liking the view, Weasley?" He closed his mouth and looked slightly embarassed. I winked at him and received a dirty look from Granger.
I rolled my eyes "Granger, don't look at me like that, it's not my fault Weasley here was looking down my shirt and is now probabaly imaging what I look like without clothes on," We all looked over at him, he was looking at me with a dazed expression on his face. "You better not be, Weasley!" Draco spat. "Yeah, Weasley," I said "You don't have to imagine, if you're lucky you might not have to," "Jo, stop it," Draco said annoyed.
I gave him a weird look, why was he getting so annoyed that I was flirting with Weasley?! He should be worried about Pansy, not me, right?
As Draco and I were patrolling the corridors, the train lurched again and I fell, and again, Draco caught me. "Wow, I'm so damn clumsy!" I exclaimed laughing and leaning against a wall. Draco pressed against me and brushed a piece of hair out of my bright green eyes.
"I think it's really sexy," he whispered leaning his face closer to mine, our lips maybe a centimeter apart. "Really?" I asked "Yeah," he replied, his lips slightly touching mine. Suddenly we heard footsteps and he unpressed his body from mine, smiling.
I turned away and composed myself and made myself think clearly. Draco was with Pansy, he liked her, not me. No matter how much I wanted to be with him we were just friends and nothing more…right?
Chapter 2: Love and Friendship
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
"Draco, stop doing that!" I said trying to keep a straight face. Draco was doing his usual routine of pushing second years around. It was even funnier than usual because it was raining really hard and the second kept slipping and falling.
Draco sighed dramatically and said "Fine!" We climbed into the carriages that pulled themselves. I sat down between him and Pansy, who was talking non stop about something or other with Draco's friend Blaise Zabini. I was focusing on not looking at Draco and thinking how sexy he is.
I closed my eyes, not realizing how tired I was until that moment. Suddenly I felt a hand on my knee. I was going to tell Blaise to knock it off, he was always trying to feel me up, but then I remembered Blaise was all the way across the carriage, there was no way he could reach me.
I opened one eye an inch and saw a hand with a silver ring on the middle finger rubbing my knee. I was shocked to realize it was Draco's hand. I fully opened my eyes and looked at him, he smirked at me and moved his hand up to my thigh. I then side glanced at Pansy, she was still talking to Blaise, so she didn't notice what was happening.
I didn't know what to do, I was torn between love and friendship, unfortunately chose love and didn't move his hand that was now sliding up my skirt towards my ass. I closed my eyes again, loving the feeling of his hands on me. His hands slid out of my skirt and his fingers intertwined with mine.
I looked down at our hands, confused about what was happening, did this mean Draco liked me as more than a friend? Or was that just wishful thinking? Would he ever actually leave Pansy to be with me? No! He wouldn't, he loves Pansy, not me! But then why was he touching me like this? Why did he almost kiss me?
"Could this take any longer?" I whispered to Draco, Pansy, and Blaise. The sorting of the first years was taking forever, and I was starving. "I bet it would go faster if we made out," Blaise suggested looking me up and down. "Fuck off, Blaise, I'm not in the mood!" I said glaring at him. "Ooh, not very nice, are we?" He rubbed my thigh. I grabbed his hand and dug my nails into his skin. "Shit!" He exclaimed pulling his hand away, "That hurt!" "Blaise, leave Jo alone!" Draco said angrily.
Blaise muttered something about me being mad, but sexy at the same time. I looked down at his hand, he was bleeding a bit I couldn't help but laugh a little. "You okay?" Draco whispered in my ear I could feel his warm breath on my neck, I could smell his cinnamon scent. "Yeah," I breathed. "Good," he said rubbing my thigh where Blaise had touched me. Again I glanced at Pansy, she was gossiping with some other Slytherin girls. Blaise on the other hand glared jealously at us, but said nothing.
Then Draco gently kissed my neck and whispered "You smell so good," my mind started racing, thinking of what I smelled like. Then I remembered I smelled like strawberries, Draco loved strawberries. "Thanks," I whispered lightly taking his hands off of me. I was feeling more guilty by the second, and I was scared Pansy would look over, too.
"What's wrong?" He asked. "Nothing, just…um, it feels kind of hot in here." I said. I know it was a lame excuse, but it was all I could think of at that moment. Draco relucltantly took his wonderful hands off of me. And lucky he did, because Pansy looked over at that moment and gave me a this-is-taking-forever look. I somehow gave her a "I know!" look. I felt so bad, I was being really selfish, letting Draco kiss and touch me when he was my bestfriend's boyfriend. No more of that! I scolded myself. I was going to be the best damn friend in the school! I looked at Draco, he was staring hard at me, a smile playing on his lips. It was looking as though being the best damn friend in the school was going to be hard…
Chapter 3: First Kiss
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
As I said before, being the best damn friend in the school was extremely hard, and I couldn't stop thinking about Draco, as usual. Within two weeks, I started dealing with it like I usually did, which was with distraction, which meant getting a new boyfriend.
Even though I was in love with Draco, I was always dating someone, I mean, what else am I going to do? I can't just stay single for the rest of my life, can I? Besides, like I said before, dating someone somewhat distracted me from Draco.
And not to mention none of my relationships ever lasted more than two weeks. It's pretty much what I'm known for, I'm the girl who's dated like half the school, but who's never had a serious relationship. It's strange that all the guys I date know all about my reputation, but they continue to ask me out. I think that they think that they can be that one guy who manages to last two weeks and a day with me. But I have yet to meet anyone worth it.
The reason I end all my relationships within two weeks is because I end up finding a quality that drives me mental and I can't stand it. Even if that's not it, they all have the same problem that prevents me from being with them: they aren't Draco. And they never will be, unfortunately for them.
I mostly date Slytherins, but I have dated outside my house. I've dated a number if Ravenclaw blokes, they're really sweet and they offer to do my homework, which I have no complaint about. A few Hufflepuffs, they're quite loyal of course. And I've dated only one Gryffindor, it was a secret relationship, well until I dumped him. Then he told anyone who would listen that he dated me a whole week, no one really believed him,and I neither confirmed, nor denied it.
As much as I break up with people, I really don't like doing it. I actually feel really guilty, but I have two specific ways to do it. If I know the guy has a tendency to be a little emotional and clingy, then I'll do it first thing in the morning,it will go a little like this:
Him: "Hey, (insert whatever pet name he has chosen to call me)"
Me: "I've been thinking."
Him: face falls, it's never a good thing when a Slytherin has been thinking. "About what?"
Me: "That we should break up."
Now this will go one of two ways. Way number one:
Him: "But why?"
Me: "I just don't feel anything anymore."
Him: "Well maybe we could try again."
Me: "Sorry, but it's over, okay?"
Him: deep, sad sigh. "All right, see you around."
Me: "See you in (insert class I happen to have with him)
Or it could go way number two:
Him: "All right, knew it was going to happen some time soon. Later."
Me: "Okay, see you in (insert class I happen to have with him)
Now if the guy isn't all emotional and clingy, then I'll spend our last day together having fun,and then dump him afterwards. Usually during that day he'll realize that I'm breaking up with him, and enjoy the time as much as he can. Then then it will go like this:
Me: "Today was fun."
Him: "Yeah, it was,"
Me: "Good for our last day together, don't you think?"
Him: "Yeah,I had fun, it was a good last day."
Me: "Yeah, so I'll see you around."
Him: "Yeah, see you in (insert class he has with me)
I have other ways to break up will guys also, but those are my most frequently used.
Now that I'm done sharing my interesting dating history, I should probably tell you who this week's boyfriend is. His name is Ben Calington, he's a fifth year Slytherin, and he's new this year.
We met on the first day of lessons, he was lost, and since I'm a prefect, I had to help him. We were going to same place, so I walked with him. We got to talking and he was really nice. Honestly, that freaked me out a bit, because you can't be a nice Slytherin, it didn't make sense. But at the same time I was attrated to him, and not only because he's so damn good looking, he has an interesting personality.
Draco didn't like it at all that Ben and I were talking, but that didn't surprise me, he never likes anyone I date or that comes close to dating me. A big part of me hopes it's because he's jealous and hates seeing me with other guys, but the reasonable part of me realizes he's just being protective of me.
Anyways, when Ben originally asked me out, I said no, because he was just too nice. Then he did something no one has ever done without my permission, consent, or knowledge, he pushed me against a wall and snogged me. Right there, in a crowded hallway infront of loads of people.
When he pulled away he said, "What was your answer again?"
I somehow managed to get over my pleasured shock and said, "I believe my answer was yes."
And that was it, now we've been dating for five days and it's great. Especially right now, as I sit on his lap, and we snog under the beech tree near the Black Lake, when we're supposed to be in Herbology. We decided to skive off, it was really his idea, but I quickly agreed to it once I found out what we'd be doing.
First we went up to his empty dormitory, I'll let your imagination decide what we did, but I will tell you we were not talking and our clothes didn't stay on for too long, if you know what I mean.
Then we walked around the empty grounds and ended up underneath the beech tree. We break apart as we see hear the final bell ring, and we watch as the fifth year Slytherins and Ravenclaws leave the greenhouses.
When I see Draco and Pansy, I immediately know they've had a fight. Draco's fists are stuffed in his pocket, and Pansy's arms are crossed angrily infront of her, they're both scowling.
I'm hoping they don't see me, I hate when they fight, well I mean I love it because of the prospect that they might break up forever, but I hate it because I end up in the middle. I have to hear both sides, for example:
Pansy: "I feel like Draco doesn't want to spend time with me at all!"
Draco: "Well I don't want to be around her all the time, sometimes she's annoying! Besides, I need a little Draco time."
Me: thinks "maybe you guys should break up forever." But says "You guys should try and compromise when you want to spend time together and apart."
Draco: "Pansy talks so much, about nothing, I never even listen to what she says, I'm too annoyed!"
Pansy: "Draco never listens to me when I talk, he just pretends he does. It hurts my feelings."
Me: thinks "maybe you guys should break up. But says "You guys need to communicate better."
And, my personal favorite:
Pansy: "I feel like Draco only wants to have sex all the time, and he never wants to talk about feelings or anything important, just sex , sex, sex!"
Draco: "What does she expect?! Of course I want to have sex all the time, I'm a guy, aren't I? All I ever think about is sex!"
Me: "What the hell?! I am not helping you guys with this!"
So, as you can see,them fighting is painful for me. Unfortunately Pansy spots me, I swear she was looking around for me. Then she pokes Draco, and he's about to yell at her when she points to me. Then they start making their way towards Ben and me.
I feel Ben tenses up when he notices them.
"What's wrong?" I ask him, "You don't like my friends?"
"Well,Pansy is all right, though she talks alot," he said, "but it's Malfoy I don't like. Or haven't you noticed?"
"Oh, no I've noticed," I said nodding, "and the feeling seems mutual."
"Yeah, that's because it is, sorry."
"It's okay," I said smiling, "I don't mind,as long as I get to kiss you." I closed the distance between our faces and kissed him.
As Draco and Pansy get closer, I can see Draco is pissed. And I wish he wasn't because angry Draco is so sexy. Am I a horrible person for thinking how sexy my bestfriend, who's my other bestfriend's boyfriend, is five seconds after kissing my boyfriend? Don't answer that, I know I am.
"Where the hell have you been?!" Draco asked angrily as he approaches us.
"Um, with Ben?" I answer, like it's obvious because it is.
"Well, why didn't you tell anyone?!" Draco practically yelled, "We were worried about you!"
Behind him Pansy is shaking her head and mouthing "I wasn't worried,"
Ben and I laugh,and Draco whips his head around at her. "What are you doing?!"
Pansy narrows her eyes and says "I was telling her that I wasn't worried, and I knew that she must be with Ben."
"No one cares whether you were worried or not!" He yells.
Pansy turns on her heel and leaves not saying anything.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?!" Draco repeats.
"Well how could I?" I said softly, hoping to calm him down, "We were on our way to Herbology when Ben suggested we skive off. I couldn't show up in class to tell you guys I wasn't coming. Not only would I get myself in trouble, but I'd get Ben in trouble too. That would make me a horrible girlfriend, and you wouldn't want that, would you?"
"Actually,I'd prefer if you weren't his girlfriend at all." Draco said coldly glaring at Ben.
"And what's that supposed to mean, Malfoy?!" Ben asks angrily, standing up, completely forgetting I'm sitting on his lap.
"Exactly what I said, Calington, I don't want Jo being your girlfriend!"
No cares I'm on the filthy ground, apparently. So I get up by myself and watch them.
"Well,that sounds like a problem for you, because Jolina is my girlfriend."
"Well, I think she's wasting her time with a git like you." Draco countered.
"Well, it doesn't matter what you think, Malfoy! If she thought she was wasting time with me, she wouldn't be with me, would she?!" Ben yelled.
"Hey!" I shouted, interupting them, "Um, 'she' is right here. And 'she' can speak for herself, and make her own decisions!"
"Exactly," Ben said, "and she's decided I'm her boyfriend."
"Yeah, well she's decided I'm her bestfriend." Draco said. Then he sneered, "I shouldn't worry about you anyways, you'll be gone pretty soon."
"And what's that supposed to mean?!" Ben asked.
"Oh, don't you know you only get up to two weeks with Jo?" He said smirking.
"And why is that?"
"Don't you know about Jo's reputation? Her relationships never last more than two weeks. She can't stay in a relationship to save her life-" he stops when he realizes what he just said. He completely just insulted me.
How could he say that?! Stupid jerk, he's the reason I can't stay in a relationship!
"Jo, I'm so-"
"You know, Ben might not be around for a long time, but it's not looking like you will be either." I said grabbing Ben's hand and pulling him away.
It's evening time now, right before the sun is about to set, I'm at the Black Lake alone, drawing, and waiting to watch the sunset. I'm still thinking about earlier, what Draco said. Honestly, I'm not mad anymore, I just can't straight mad at him, but he still hasn't apologized, and I'm not talking to him until he does.
Suddenly, someone's hands are over my eyes. "Guess who?" A voice says that I easily recognize as Draco's.
"What do you want Draco?" I ask flatly.
"To apologize for being a right foul git earlier," he said sitting down next to me, "I shouldn't have said that..."
"Draco, do you know why I can't stay in a relationship?" I ask turning to look at him.
"Because of…" you. I think. All because of you. But I can't say it. "Because…I'm waiting for the right guy." I say instead.
"Well, do you know who this guy is?" Draco asks seriously.
"I think I do, but he just hasn't exactly noticed me yet." I said quietly.
"Who is it?" He asked anxiously.
"I'm not telling you!" I exclaimed laughing.
"Because if I tell you, I'd have to kiss you-I mean kill you!" I said blushing.
"I prefer the first option," he said seductively, leaning towards me.
"Very funny," I said nervously.
"Who says I'm joking?" He asks smirking.
Okay, I can't breathe. My bestfriend, who I'm in love with just insinuated he wanted to kiss me. Breath, Jolina, breathe!
"Are you all right?" He asked.
"I'm fine," I whispered, "I just can't breathe."
"Would you like me to give you mouth to mouth?"
I went into a fit of coughs, and then tried to focus on my drawing.
"What are you drawing?" Draco asked trying to look at the piece of parchment I was drawing on.
"Nothing," I said covering it.
"Come on, let me see."
"No!" I said laughing.
"Jo, don't make me," he threatened.
"What are you gonna do? You don't scare-aah!" I squealed as he started tickling me. I fell back, with him on top of me, trying to fight him off. "Stop it!" I screamed through laughter as we rolled around.
Finally he stopped, I was sitting on top of him pinning him down on the ground. When I realized how wrong this was, I attempted to get off of him, but Draco pulled me back down.
"No," he said, "I like this position, it's comfortable."
I stayed, because who was I to deny Draco of being comfortable? I know, I'm horrible.
"Why can't we just stay like this?" He asked, smiling as our hands came together, intertwining our fingers.
"Because," I answered quietly, "your girlfriend, and my boyfriend are bound to come looking for us."
He stopped smiling, "I really don't like Calington," he said softly.
"I know, he's dating me." I said looking down at him.
"What does that mean?" Draco asked.
"You never like anyone I date," I said, "I could date Blaise, and you wouldn't like him, and he's your best mate. Why is that?"
"Jo, I don't like seeing you with other guys." Draco said not looking at me.
"Why not?" I asked. He just shrugged. "Are you jealous?" I teased.
He looked at me, "What if I am jealous?" He asked smirking, "What if I envy all those blokes?"
I smiled seductively and leaned down, our faces inches from eachother, "Well, if you do, why don't you do something about it?" I whispered, loosening his tie. I knew this was beyond wrong, but I don't care, I can't resist him, and honestly, I don't want to.
"Maybe I will," he whispered back. Then we were silent, I could tell Draco was thinking hard about something.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked.
"Pansy," he said. Suddenly, I'm slapped back into reality.
"Oh," I said, quickly rolling off of him and instead laying on the ground. I shouldn't be mad, but I am, well more like jealous.
"Oh, no, Jo, it's not like that," he said grabbing my hand. "I'd much rather be around you than her." He turned my face towards his.
"Whatever," I said turning away, not believing him. "She's your girlfriend, you should be thinking about her."
"Jo," he whispered, suddenly his face right above mine. He didn't say anything right away,he just stared down at me, running his fingers through my dark brown hair. "Why am I with Pansy?" He finally said.
I looked up at him shocked. "Um, why are you asking me?"
"Because you know me better than anyone else does." He said simply. "So, why am I with her?"
"Um, I don't know, because you love her?" I said.
"But what if I don't?" He asked. "What if, hypothetically, I've realized I love someone else?" His eyes stared so intensly into mine. "What if I want to be with someone else?"
"Well, um, hypothetically, is this other girl worth losing Pansy over?" I asked, hoping he was talking about me.
"Hypothetically, yes." He whispered in my ear.
"Well, if she's worth it, go for it," I said quietly.
"I'm scared," he admitted, "What if she doesn't feel the same way?"
"I'm sure she will," I said. Then there was silence, in which Draco continued to run his fingers through my hair,and staring at me while I stared back at him and further loosened his tie. "So," I said as casually as I could, "What would this girl's name be, hypothetically?"
"If I tell you, I'd have to kiss you," he said.
"I'm okay that," I whispered.
His hand ran softly over my face, to the back of my neck. It was that moment that I knew he was going to kiss me as he leaned down, this was it…our first kiss. Our lips were a centimeter from meeting, I couldn't believe this was happening, one second…
Instead of our lips meeting, a wave of water came over us. Draco got off of me, sputtering, "What the hell was that?!"
I looked at the lake, the stupid giant squid splashing around in it. That thing ruined everything, I definitely wasn't kissing Draco tonight.
He looked at me, "We should get back," he said.
"Yeah we should," I said feeling as though everything said tonight had been forgotten, and by tomorrow, Draco would love Pansy again and forget about the hypothetical girl. When I got up, Draco grabbed my face, and kissed me quickly on the cheek, as though he was embarassed.
He looked down at me, searching for a reaction, I smiled up at him, and he sighed in relief as he took my hand and we walked back to the castle.
Chapter 4: Late Night Talks and Friendly Snogging
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
When Draco and I reached the common room, I was glad to see it was completely empty. Not surprising, we Slytherins need our beauty sleep, otherwise we wouldn't look so good. I reluctantly let go of Draco's hand.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning," I said with a smile.
Draco grabbed my hand again and pulled me towards him, "And, where are you going?" He asked.
"Um, up to bed?" I said in an obvious tone, blushing slightly.
"Not like that, you're not," Draco said pulling me over to the couch. "You're soaked, you don't want to go to bed like that do you?"
"No," I said slowly, "I, um, guess I don't. You're right."
"Of course I am." He said smirking, "But let's not waste time on the obvious." He sat down in the couch pulling me with him.
"So we're going to sit here until we're dry?" I asked.
"Jo, love, haven't I told you that we're not going to waste time on the obvious?"
I stuck my tongue out at him. He smirked, "I'd sure love to see what else you can do with that tongue of yours."
I slowly slid my tongue back in my mouth, where it wouldn't take Draco up on his offer. "So, uh, why were you and Pansy fighting?" I asked attempting to get off the subject of my tongue and what it could do.
Draco's smirk slid off of his face. He scooted away from me a little. "Can we not talk about Pansy right now?" He said.
"We're not talking about Pansy, I'm asking you why you two are fighting…again"
He sighed, "She got pissed because I ditched her at lunch today."
"And why did you ditch her?" I asked, cursing myself for trying to help their relationship again.
He shrugged. I raised my eyebrows at him, he sighed again. "I was, uh, looking for you."
My mind went into crazy overdrive. Was he looking for me to tell me he loved me? Obviously it was something he didn't want Pansy to know about since he ditched her, right?
I decided not to ask why,I didn't want to be disappointed. "Really?" I asked. "I didn't see you at all, I was with Ben."
"I know." He said in what seemed like a bitter tone. "When I finally found you, I saw you and Calington snogging in some empty hallway."
"Oh," I said quietly. I remember that was a particularly good snog, that was. But now that I knew Draco had seen it, it didn't seem so good anymore. I wonder if he saw anything else?
"His hand was up your skirt." He stated, looking straight foward. His tone was one of hatred and disgust.
I didn't exactly know how to respond, because, it was very true, his hand was up my skirt. I hadn't minded it one bit.
Draco turned to me, the hate and disgust visible in his eyes. "Have you two…had sex?" He asked.
I stared at him. Why did he want to know that? What was I supposed to say? "Um, what makes you think that?"
Anger flashed across Draco's face. "I don't know, maybe because Calington's always bragging to the guys about how he's fucked you!"
Well, that explains why Draco thinks that. Why did Ben have to go around bragging? But then again, if he's bragging about it, he must have thought I was really good. Nice.
"Oh," I said again.
"Is it true?!" Draco demanded angrily. I felt like if I said yes he would march upstairs and kill Ben in his sleep. But I couldn't lie to Draco, he knew me too well.
I bit my lip and nodded, not daring to look at him.
He then scooted all the way to the other side of the couch. So disgused with me, he couldn't even stand to sit next to me. I stared at him, I didn't understand what the big deal was, I mean, he's fucked Pansy, and how many other girls she doesn't know about?
After a few moments of silence he looks at me and shakes his head. "How could you have sex with Calington?" He asked as though he took it as betrayal.
"Draco, he's my boyfriend," I said shrugging slightly, "That's what people who date do."
"You've only been dating for five days! And you can't even really call him your boyfriend! You're only going to be together for two weeks!" He shouted at me.
"You don't know that!" I shouted back. "Maybe he'll last longer!"
Draco looked sick at the idea of that. Again he shook his head. "How many guys have you slept with?!"
"Exuse me, what?"
"How many?" He asked, "I know there's been alot, I'm just wondering if you kept track."
I had never seen Draco be like this, so cold. He wasn't even this bad with Harry Potter and his friends. I actually wanted to run upstairs and cry. How could someone I was in love with be so crue?
"What are you trying to say, that I'm some slut?" I asked.
"Maybe I am," he replied coldly.
I looked down, not wanting him to see how close to tears I was. Draco sighed and scooted back over next to me.
"Jo?" He asked quietly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I-"
"Just go," I interupted, "You're dry now, just go to bed." I turned away from him.
"How am I supposed to sleep when you're mad at me?"
I looked at him coldly, "I'm sure you'll find a way."
Suddenly I felt Draco's arms slide around my waist and he hugged me tightly. He always did that when we were younger and I was mad at him, I'd always forgive him, but not this time.
"Draco, we're not five anymore, you can't just hug me and expect me to forgive you."
"I know," he whispered, softly kissing my neck, "But I've changed my tactics since then." He kissed my neck again, in a different spot, I giggled unwillingly.
"Ticklish, are we?" I could practically see the smirk spread across his face.
"No." I said in what was supposed to be my angry voice, but it didn't exactly come out angry.
He did it again, and I giggled again. "I think we are," he whispered softly in my ear, making my heart race three different kinds of ways. He kissed my neck again.
"Stop it!" I said.
"I will when you look at me." Draco said with determination.
"Fine, fine!" I same turning around to face him. I looked at him expectantly.
"Jolina, I'm really sorry. You're not a slut, you're a very gorgeous girl who guys can't keep their hands off of, including me. I smiled at the apology, but said nothing.
"Am I forgiven?" He asked hopefully. I shrugged. "Well, then I guess I'll have to do something else to make you forgive me." A sly smile spread across his face.
Before I could ask what he was going to do, he had leaned foward and kissed me! Draco Malfoy kissed me, Jolina Fieran! It was the most exhilerating thing that I had ever experienced.
The way his mouth gently caressed mine. The way his tongue slithered in my mouth, exploring it slowly, yet eagerly. The way he leaned into me, making me hold on to the back of his head to keep from falling backwards. The way he held me tightly as though afraid I would slip away. As I deepened the kiss, he moaned softly into my mouth.
Draco pulled away, slightly out of breath. "I knew I'd love what you could do with your tongue," he said before hungrily kissing me again.
Pleasure spread throughout my body, I don't think anyone else could ever make me feel this much pleasure again. I couldn't believe this is what I'd been missing out on. How unfair was it that Pansy got to experience this on a daily basis? I'll tell you, very unfair. But then, again, how unfair was it that I was currently kissing her boyfriend? Beyond unfair. Whatever.
Draco leaned back,on the couch pulling me with him, until I was completely on top of him, not once did we break the kiss. His hands slipped up my shirt, sending chills all throughout my body. Then he started sitting up again, and I thought the kiss would be over, but instead he pushed me down on the couch and got on top of me. Of course he has to be on top, I thought.
He started unbuttoning my shirt, and warning signals went off in my head, I ignored them. The kiss was quickly becoming more intense and passionate, I knew if I didn't stop it soon, kissing wouldn't be the only thing we'd be doing.
Draco had finished unbuttoning my shirt, and moved his hand down to my skirt. I felt him unbuttoning it, and now I knew we had to stop now. I mean if someone caught us kissing,we could easily pass it off as friendly snogging. But if they caught us having sex, we couldn't exactly play that off as just friendly.
I pulled away, completely out of breath. I looked into Draco's grey eyes that were now somewhat shocked looking. "What's wrong?" He asked.
What wasn't wrong?! I was snogging my best friend! He had a girlfriend, I had a boyfriend, everything was wrong about the situation! But, oh, it felt so right. Man, I hate being conflicted, it gives me a migrane.
"Um, nothing," I lied, or told the truth, hell, I didn't know!
"Then, uh, why did you stop?" Draco asked anxiously.
I tried to keep the shock from showing in my face. Does he seriously not see how wrong this is?!
"What is this?" I asked. I was hoping he'd understand what I meant, I didn't exactly know how to describe what we're doing.
He thankfully did, "I'm trying to get you to forgive me." He said. Well it sure did work.
We stared at eachother in silence. Then Draco leaned down and kissed me softly, and then sat up. I sat up too, and the silence continued.
"Apology accepted," I said trying to break the akward silence.
Draco smiled and said, "Good, then my job is done." He got up.
"You going up to bed?" I asked, trying to hide my diappointment.
"Yeah, aren't you tired?" He asked.
"Yes, but way too tired to walk upstairs. I think I'll just sleep down here tonight."
Draco sat down, "What are you doing?" I asked.
"I'll stay down here too. You know, protect you incase anything happens."
I laughed, "Right."
"Jo, Jo." A voice whispered,waking me up. I quickly racked my brain,who had I slept with last night? I couldn't remember. I opened my eyes and looked up. I smiled when I saw Draco.
"Hi," I said quietly.
"Hey there, sleepy head." He said also smiling.
"What time is it?" I asked sitting up and running my fingers through my messy hair. Oh,no my hair was all messy infront of Draco! That's so embarassing! I attempted to make it look decent.
"About six thirty, and stop fixing your hair love, you look gorgeous." I smiled. "But you do need to take a shower, get that smell off.
What smell? I buried my face in my shirt and was hit with smell of cinnamon and peppermint. "What are to talking about, I smell amazing!" I exclaimed.
"You smell like me." Draco said smirking. Of, course I would say he smells amazing. "I don't think your boyfriend will like that."
I nodded getting up. "I think you're right about that." Then I buried my face in his shirt. He smelled like strawberries and lavender. "You'd better take one too, you smell like me, Pansy won't like that." I said walking up the stairs.
When I got out of the shower I ran into Pansy. It was hard looking at her after last night.
"Someone didn't make it up to bed last night." She said smiling.
"Yeah, I was kind of busy," I repiled looking anywhere but at her.
Suddenly her tone was accusing. "Don't think I don't know where you were or what you were doing!"
Chapter 5: Working With Weasley
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
"Y-you know?" I asked as fear crept over me. She knew, she saw everything, and now she was going to tell everyone Draco and I are betraying cheaters! And Ben would dump me! No one has ever dumped me!
"Yes, I know." Pansy said glaring. Then a sly smile spread across her face. "I know you spent the night with Ben."
"Huh?" I asked in confusion.
"You spent the night with Ben, didn't you? There's no need to lie." She said smiling.
I smiled back out of pure relief. "Yeah, I was…with Ben. Yeah, that's where I was. That's-yeah."
"I knew it! Did you have fun?"
"Y-yeah, I, um I did. Very much fun." I said, still not able to believe my luck. "But, could you not say anything about it? I don't want everyone knowing." I lied. I just didn't want her to bring it up to Ben and have him tell her the truth.
"Of course, my lips are sealed." Pansy said walking into the bathroom.
Whew! That was way too close, no more slip ups. Draco was my best friend and nothing more! What happened last night was completely friendly...
A whole week passed and no more slip ups occured. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't temptation, everytime we were alone, Draco would flirt with me and touch me, and stand oh so close to me. Smiling that wonderful smile of his, his amazing lips inches from mine. How the hell am I supposed to be a good friend when Draco is always trying to seduce me?!
It got to the point where I would have to convince Ben to visit me when Draco and I were patrolling the halls. Whenever Ben came around Draco would get quiet and not talk to me. I hated when he didn't talk to me, but it was worth it, I had to be a good friend that didn't kiss my friend's boyfriend. Damn me for being so nice!
"Jo, I've got some bad news." Draco said as he approched me during lunch. For once I wasn't with Ben, he was off with his friends doing Merlin knows what.
I looked up, "Let me guess, you and Pansy broke up for good?" I asked. I hope I didn't sound happy,that would be horrible.
"I thought I said it was bad news." Draco said seriously. I raised my eyebrows. "Kidding." He said sitting down across from me.
No,he wasn't kidding. If he didn't want to be with Pansy, then why didn't he break up with her, and ask me out, so we can fall in love properly?
What is wrong with me? I shouldn't be thinking like that. Bad Jolina, bad! "So what is it then?" I asked.
"I, um, have detention tonight." He said before shoveling a bunch of food in his mouth.
I rolled my eyes. "What did you do?"
"I hexed Granger." Draco said, with his mouth full. If anyone else talked with their mouth full, I'd be repulsed, but when Draco does it, I'm turned on. "Made those buck teeth of hers grow all the way down past her chin, and I made her horrible bushy hair cover her face. She looked more hideous than usual."
A smile spread across my face. "Nice. I didn't know that was possible." I laughed, "Why'd you do it?"
"That filthy mudblood had the nerve to tell me she was going to report me because I was "abusing my prefect power" or some stupid shit like that. I didn't like her tone, so I hexed her."
Isn't he amazing? "And why is this bad news?" I asked.
"Well, McGonagall caught me and gave me detention this evening." I stared at him. I still didn't understand why this was bad news for me. "Which means I can't patrol with you tonight." He said.
Oh, now I get. "That is bad news." I said. Although, that did mean no temptation, and I could maybe convince Ben to come, so we could have a nice snog session. "So does that mean I'm doing it alone?" I asked hopefully.
"No. Since Granger is in the Hospital Wing, you have to do it with Weasley." Draco said sneering slightly.
I shrugged. "Could be worse. Weasley isn't so bad."
Draco narrowed his eyes at me. "You've got a thing for that blood traitor, don't you?"
I rolled my eyes, "Why do you always do that? Everytime I bring up a guy, you immediately attack me! Why?!" I asked angrily.
"Jo, I already told you," Draco sighed. "I don't like seeing you with other guys, it bothers me."
"Why?" I asked quietly.
He reached across the table, and grabbed my hand. He didn't even check to see no one was looking either. I don't think he even cared. "Jo, you have to understand how I feel about you…"
No, I couldn't hear this, not now, in the crowded Great Hall. "Draco, please-"
"No, you have to listen!" He said desperately. "Jo I think I-"
"Hey, guys." Blaise said sitting down next Draco. I quickly withdrew my hand from Draco's, scared Blaise might have seen something.
Pansy sat down on the other side of Draco. "Hi, baby," she said.
"Hey," he said. And then he kissed her.
Seeing them kiss had never affected me so bad. I could feel my heart shatter. I could feel the tears filling my eyes. I couldn't stay there.
I abruptly got up. Everyone looked shocked. "Where are you going?" Blaise asked.
"I, um, have to go meet Ben," I said, my voice breaking slightly, I hoped no one noticed. Draco of course, did. I could tell he wanted to tell me to stay, and listen to him explain how he felt about me. But he didn't, once I mentioned Ben, he immediatly got angry. So, he put his arm around Pansy. He showed me enough.
"But I thought he was hanging out with his friends today." Pansy said.
"Change of plans." I said before quickly walking away before anyone could say anything else or see me crying.
Why was Draco doing this to me? He was about to tell me how he felt, and then the minute Pansy shows up, he's all over her. And then, when I bring Ben up, he gets all upset, he had no right. Why was he messing with my mind? A better question, why was I letting him?
I'm walking quickly through the halls. I'm late to meet Weasley so we could start patrolling. I had skived off the rest of my classes after lunch, I just couldn't bear to see Draco and Pansy together. I spent the rest of the day crying in the Room of Requirement, so no one could find me.
Unfortunately, I had lost track of time, and now I was late. Weasley was leaning against a wall, checking his watch. "Hey, Weasley, sorry I'm late." I said as I approached him.
"No problem." He shrugged and we began patrolling. We were quiet as we patolled, not saying a thing to eachother.
"So…were you late because you were with Calington?" Weasley asked. "Or are you two even still together? I'm not exactly sure if it's been two weeks or not." His tone wasn't cold like Draco's would be in the situation, he sounded genuinely curious.
"No, I wasn't late because of him." I answered. "But we are still together. It will be two weeks in two days."
"Are you gonna keep him longer than two weeks?" Weasley asked.
I shook my head, "I don't think so. I mean, he's great, but he's not, you know, the one."
Weasley nodded as though he completely understood, which shocked me. We continued talking about random things.
"Oh, yeah I'm sorry about that day on the train." He said out of nowhere.
"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.
"About, you know, looking down your shirt." He blushed.
I smiled. "It's okay, Weasley, I wasn't mad." I assured him.
"Malfoy was." He said.
I looked down. "It doesn't really mean anything," I said quietly. "He was just being over protective."
"Why are you friends with him?" Weasley asked.
"Why are you friends with Potter?" I asked.
"Well, Harry is good guy." He shrugged. I snorted. Weasley raised his eyebrows at me. "What's wrong with him, then?"
I chuckled. "What's wrong with Saint Potter? What isn't wrong with him?" I said. "He just loves how people fawn over him because he's the "Boy who Lived". He was a freakin' baby, he didn't know what the hell he was doing. And now he always has to try to prove he's better than everyone. He thinks he's smarter, and braver and more talented than everyone else. Let's not forget how he always has to show people up. If he was my best friend, I'd be bloody annoyed with him!"
Weasley just stared at me for a moment. "All right, some of that may be true, but still, he's not as bad as Malfoy."
"And what's wrong with Draco?" I asked defensively.
Weasley looked amused. "First off his name is 'Draco' that's a stupid name." I rolled my eyes. "Second of all, if there's anyone who loves people fawning over them, it's Malfoy. I see that stupid smirk on his face when all those girls fawn over him. What's so great about him anyways? He's not all that great looking, is he? I mean he's so pale and then the blond hair on top of that. Just ehh-"
"Are we gonna sit here and talk about his looks all day or are you going to tell me what's wrong with him?" I interupted.
Weasley cleared his throat. "Right, anyways, he's a total git, he bullies first years for Merlin's sake! And he calls people mudbloods, rude much?! Not to mention he struts around the castle, like he owns the damn place. And he's cruel, like sometimes I feel like he's not even human,you know?"
I clicked my tongue, "I know he can be a bit mean, but he's not that bad. Well, I don't see it anyways." I said.
"Well, of course you wouldn't, you're in love with him." Weasley shrugged.
"What?!" I asked.
"You're in love with Malfoy, aren't you?" A smirk was on his face.
"Well, you're in love with Granger, right?" I asked, smirking.
The smirk slid off of his face. "Maybe I am." He said defiantly.
"And maybe I'm in love with Draco." I said throwing my hands in the air. We stared in silence at eachother. "How did you know?" I asked quietly.
He shrugged, "I see the way you look at him. It's more than friendly. How did you know about me?"
"Same thing, the way you look at her." I said smiling slightly.
"Isn't it funny how we're both in love with our best friends?" He asked chuckling.
"Funny? No. But, pathetic? Oh, yeah." I said laughing too.
"You know, you're not so bad, Fieran." Weasley said.
"Thanks, you're not so bad either, Weasley. But don't tell anyone I said that, I have a reputation to uphold, you know." I joked.
"Of course. You know, you can call me Ron."
"And you can call me Jolina."
"Okay, then, Jolina." Weasley, I mean Ron said.
"Okay, then, Ron."
We spent the rest of the time talking about our hopeless love for our best friends. I never thought Ron and I would have anything in common, but the fact that we did was nice. Finally, I could talk to someone about how I was feeling.
Ron insisted Draco had feelings for me too, but at the moment, I couldn't believe it, not after what happened at lunch. By the end of the patrol, something changed, Ron and I were, well friends. We had someone who understood exactly what we were going through; eachother.
But we agreed to keep our friendship secret, we both, of course had reputations to uphold.
Chapter 6: Hypothetically Speaking
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
I was sitting at the Slytherin table during breakfast,with Blaise two days after becoming friends with Ron. Blaise wasn't so bad when he wasn't hitting on me. I hadn't spoken to Draco in two days.
"Jolina?" Blaise asked, "Why are you and Draco fighting?"
"We-we're not." I said.
"Yes you are, you two haven't spoken in two days." He insisted.
"That doesn't mean we're fighting. We don't have to speak to eachother every day, you know."
"Yes, you do, you're best friends."
I didn't respond. "When will you two stop fighting?" Blaise asked.
"I don't know, okay?" I said slightly frustrated.
We sat in silence until Pansy showed up. "Are you and Draco fighting?" She asked.
"What is wrong with you two?!" I asked.
"We don't like when you and Draco fight." Pansy said.
"We're not fighting, I promise." I said. "Everything is fine."
At that moment, Draco sat down next to Pansy. He kissed her on the cheek. "Good morning Pansy, Blaise…Jolina" He gave me a curt nod.
"Draco." I said retuning the nod, and then looking down at my plate. I could see the tension in the air between me and Draco. I wasn't really sure why we were fighting, to be honest.
All I knew was that he was being a jealous git, and he needed to make up his mind about who he wanted to be with. He also needed to stop looking so good when I was mad at him, that would make me feel better.
There was akward silence as we continued to eat. Pansy and Blaise were whispering to eachother and glancing at me and Draco. That couldn't be good.
Draco was glancing at me, as though I was going to apologize. Well,he had another thing coming, and it was nothing close to an apology.
"So, why are you two fighting?" Blaise asked, breaking the silence.
"We're not." Draco said.
"Yeah," I agreed. "I mean, it's not like someone's being stupid git."
"Yeah, and someone's not being completley overly sensitive, and confusing others." Draco said.
"Not to mention someone's not being an annoying prick who can't make up their mind." I hissed at Draco.
"Well, at least someone's not being stubborn and not admitting how they really feel." Draco countered.
"Yeah,you're right no one is doing that." I said.
"Well that's great!" He exclaimed.
"It's fantastic!" I said.
"Right, not fighting." Pansy said.
I sighed and looked around the Great Hall. Ron caught my eye, he could tell I was upset. "You okay?" He mouthed.
I shrugged and continued looking around. My eyes stopped on Ben. Cute, sweet Ben, who I was unfortunately breaking up with that day. The two weeks were up,and it was time to end it. But, it was great while it lasted. Ben looked at me and smiled,oblivious about the fact that by the end of the day, we would no longer be together.
I smiled back, and turned to catch Draco's displeasured face, serves him right, in my opinion.
The day passed by quickly, and before I knew it, lessons were over. That's when Pansy came up to me.
"Hey, Jo, guess what?" She asked smiling.
"What?" I asked.
"Granger is locked in a classroom, crying her eyes out." She said, full of glee.
A smile crept across my face. "Are you serious?" I asked.
"Yep. Want to go see?" Pansy asked.
I did want to, but I was just on my way to break up with Ben. But this could be a once in a lifetime chance, and it wouldn't hurt to postpone the break up. "Yeah, let's go." I said.
I followed Pansy to a sixth floor corridor, where a few classrooms were. "Go on," Pansy urged me, "look in and see."
I opened the door, and suddenly I felt a shove from behind, and I was hurled into the room. I heard the click of a lock. I straightened myself out, and noticed I wasn't alone. Draco stood a few feet away, his arms folded infront of him.
"Oh, no!" I groaned. I started banging on the door. "Pansy, unlock this door!" I yelled.
"No!" She and Blaise said simotaniously. "Not until you two kiss and make up!" Blaise said. I wished he would have used a different phrase, because, let's be honest, even though I was mad at Draco, I still wanted to kiss him.
"But we're not fighting!" I exclaimed.
"So, it shouldn't be a problem that you two are stuck in there together." Pansy said. I heard the sound of retreating footsteps.
"Come back!" I shouted. But I got no response. I groaned again and turned to see Draco looking smug.
"What are you looking so smug about?" I asked annoyed.
"You're so cute when you're all worked up." He said. If he thought sweet talking me was going make me forgive him, he was wrong.
I rolled my eyes and turned away.
"You're also cute when you're annoyed," he said coming up behind me.
"Well then,I must look gorgeous right now because I'm irritated!" I said.
"You do look gorgeous." Draco whispered. Okay, maybe sweet talking would work.
I turned to face him, "Is this your way of apologizing?" I asked.
He smiled, "I love how you know me so well."
"That makes one of us." I joked, sitting down on a desk.
Draco sat down next to me, "I've really missed you these last two days, Jo." He said. My fluttered hearing him say that.
"I've missed you too." I said honestly.
"Do you remember that night by the lake?" He asked. "When we were talking about if, hypothetically I wanted to be with someone else, other than Pansy?"
"Yes," I said, "why?"
"Well, let's say, hypothetically, that I've been thinking a lot about this other person." He said. "Let's say, that I've realized I really do want to be with this other person, and that I can't get them out of my head. Not talking to them is pure torture for me. Hypothetically, of course." He added.
It's so obvious he's talking about me. But I don't know how I feel about it. Obviously, I'm happy, because Draco has more than friendly feelings towards me, but I'm scared because I know if anything ever happened between us, it would hurt Pansy and I don't want to do that.
I'm also scared that it will be like the rest of my relationships. I mean,what if being with Draco isn't all it cracked up to be and I get bored, or annoyed? Or worse, what if I'm not good enough to satisfy Draco, and he dumps me and finds another girl?
I can handle Draco being with Pansy because now I'm used to it, but I don't think I could get used to another girl.
"Okay, let's say that then." I said. "What are you going to do?" I asked.
"I was hoping you could help me with that." Draco said looking down.
He wanted me to give him advice on whether to be with me or not? Only Draco would do something like that.
"Well…this is something you have to figure out on your own." I said slowly, choosing my words carefully. "If you want to be with this girl, and I mean really want to be with this girl,then you have to make up your mind. You can't go back and forth between the other girl and Pansy, it's not fair to either of us. I mean them. Hypothetically speaking of course."
Draco nodded, obsorbing what I said. "Well, what if, hypothetically I was ready to make up my mind now?" He asked getting up and standing infront of me. He leaned down, his face inches from mine. "What if my choice was the other girl, and I wanted to make my move right now?"
I could practically already feel his lips on mine, I could taste the peppermint on his tongue, without him actually kissing me. I looked at his lips, wanting to feel them against my own.
"I'd say go for it." I whispered. Then suddenly we were kissing. I'll admit, this time, it was me who kissed him. How could I resist when he was so close to me? Besides, Blaise did say kiss and make up.
This kiss was just as passionate and intense as the last one, the only difference, was this time, I felt no guilt. All I felt was Draco's lips against mine, and that's all I wanted to feel. Just like the last time, Draco was leaning into me so much, I had to hold on to the back of his head to keep from falling backwards.
His hair felt so soft as I ran my fingers through it, messing it up. I moved my hands down his chest,and untucked his shirt. I ran my hands over his hard stomache, and wonderfully toned abs, he couldn't be anymore perfect.
We broke apart for air, we were both panting. I didn't remove my hands from under his shirt. We said nothing as we caught our breaths, we just stared at eachother, ready to continue. Draco was the first to recover, he leaned in and kissed my neck, I closed my eyes and bit my lip in pleasure.
He traced kisses all the way up my neck to my ear. "I wish there was a bed in here, so I could have my way with you right now." He murmured in my ear, sending chills throughout my whole body. I found myself wishing the same thing.
Just imagining Draco making love to me got me all worked up. His lips found mine again, and he kissed me hard and roughly,our tongues fought for dominance. He tasted so good, and he felt even better.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Draco quietly groaned in annoyance and detached his lips from mine. We quickly straightened ourseleves out.
"Yes?" I said.
"Have you two made up yet?" Pansy's voice asked.
"Oh,yeah," Draco said, a mischevious grin on his face.
Pansy walked in the room, a suspicious look on her face. "I don't believe you." She said.
"We really aren't fighting anymore." I said.
"All right then, let's see a hug then." Pansy said.
"What?" I asked.
"If you two aren't fighting anymore, then hug."
I looked at Draco, a smirk was on his face. I knew he was loving that he could get away with touching me in a somewhat more than friendly way, without having to sneak.
He walked up to me pulled my body to his and wrapped his arms around me. I wrapped my arms around him, feeling like Pansy wasn't even there, and it was just us.
"Okay, now I believe you." She said. But we didn't let go of eachother. "Hello, I said I believe you, you can stop now." So we let go of eachother.
Both me and Draco were smiling at eachother, secret smiles. Pansy stared at us weirdly. "Anyways, I'll catch up with you two later, I have things to attend to." She waved and walked off.
I made to leave too, but Draco reached the door before me and closed, and stood infront of it.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
He pulled me to him, a seductive smile on his face. "I was thinking we could continue what we were doing." He said already leaning in to kiss me.
I regretably moved back. "I'd love to, but I have to go too." I said.
"Not right this second you don't," he said kissing my neck softly. "Stay. I promise it will be worth it."
I was so tempted, but I had to break up with Ben, especially after this whole snogging thing with Draco just happened. "I have to go see Ben." I said.
Draco's jaw clenched and he unwrapped his hands from around me. "Oh." He said.
His jealousy was unbelievable. "I'm breaking up with him." I said.
"Really?" He asked, not even trying to keep the hope out of his voice.
"Yes, it's been two weeks, and besides, hypothetically I've got to make up my mind too."
Draco smiled. "Come find me when you're done," he said. "Maybe we can celebrate a little."
I smiled as he moved out of the way of the door, and I set out to find Ben.
I found Ben by the lake, just standing there alone.
"Hey." I said walking up to him. He kissed me on the cheek.
"Hey yourself." He said
I decided to get right to it. "Listen, we need to talk about something-"
"You're breaking up with me, aren't you?" He asked interupting me.
"Yes." I said quietly looking down.
"Well,that's a relief," he said smiling.
I was shocked. "You want me to break up with you?" I asked.
"Of course not, but it's better than us being together, and you not liking me." He said shrugging.
"Ben, I do like you," I said.
"Yeah, but you love someone else." Ben said. I gaped at him. He chuckled "Yeah, I noticed the way you stare at Malfoy, I only wish you looked at me like that."
"I'm sorry," I said.
Ben shrugged again, "It's not your fault, you can't help who you love."
I nodded, coming to the realization of it. "You're right. I mean, I don't want to love Draco as more than a friend, it just happened."
He nodded, but said nothing. "I really am sorry," I said, "but just so you know, you're one of the best guys I've dated."
Ben smiled, "Well, Jolina, you're the best girl I've dated. I just wish I would have been with you longer."
Ben kissed me. When he pulled away he said, "Stop apologizing, it's okay, I understand."
I smiled, "Thanks."
He nodded. "See you around." He said before walking off.
I sighed happily and went to the Slytherin common room, where I easily spotted Pansy, sitting alone, sniffling and wiping her eyes. I guess Draco really had made up his mind and broke up with her.
"Hey," I said sitting next to her, "What's wrong?" I asked.
"As if you don't know," she said, her voice sounding stuffy. "It's all your fault!" Oh, no, Draco told her what happened between us and how he wants to be with me instead.
"I'm sorry." I said. "I didn't mean for it to happen like this"
"You could have at least tried to stay away." Pansy said refusing to look at me.
"I did but I couldn't help it."
"You made me sick!" She exclaimed.
"Woah, I know what I did was wrong, but there's no reason to say that." I said defensively.
Pansy finally looked up at me. "What are you talking about?" She asked.
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"How you got me sick. If you would have just stayed away from me last week, I wouldn't be sniffling and gross. Draco won't even kiss me cause I'm sick, thanks a lot."
Oh, thank Merlin! I thought I was in trouble. But at least Draco's not kissing her.
"Right, sorry." I said.
She shook her head. "Where have you been?" She asked.
"Oh, I was breaking up with Ben."
"Aww, that sucks, I liked you two together."
I shrugged, "Me too,but he's not 'the one'." I said.
"Well, I hope you find 'the one' soon." She said.
I already found him. I had to tell her. "See about that-"
"There's my girls." Draco said coming over to us and sitting down next to me. It took me until then to reaize that he hadn't broken up with Pansy, which meant, he hadn't really made his mind up. He was still going back and forth between us.
"Why don't you want to sit next to me?" Pansy asked.
"Babe, you're sick." Draco said with an obvious tone.
"Whatever." She huffed.
Then Blaise came over and sat in between me and Pansy. "Hello,dear friends, how are we this delightful evening?"
I snorted, "Have you been drinking, Blaise?" I asked.
"Of course not," he said as though had never drank before. "I'm just happy. Now what's new with you guys."
"Well, Jo is single again." Pansy said.
"Really?" Draco asked happily.
"Yes, really." I said, glaring at him. "Because I have made up my mind."
Draco's eyes flicked to Pansy, but he said nothing.
"Ah, Jolina, why do you break so many hearts?" Blaise asked.
I shrugged. "I'm just trying to find the right guy. I'm also waiting for him to make up his mind." I looked at Draco, who was fidgeting.
"Sounds like you already found the right guy." Pansy said.
"Oh, no this is all just hypothetically speaking." I said. "You know, like hypothetically, if I wanted to be with someone, and he wanted to be with me too, but he just couldn't make a decision."
"Well, good thing that's not really happening." Pansy said.
"Yeah, good thing…"
Later that night,when I was getting ready to head up to bed, someone pulled me down on the couch, on top of them. It was Draco.
I rolled my eyes. "What do you want?" I asked.
He smirked, "Funny you ask that, I want you."
"Oh, whatever." I said refusing to be swayed by his charm. "I'm tired of playing games, Draco. You have to choose who you really want."
"Okay, I have. I choose you." He said looking up at me.
"You say that, but then you turn around and kiss Pansy. You haven't chosen anyone, you're just playing with us both." I didn't mean to say that, but it slipped out.
"I'll break up with her, I promise." Draco said desperately. "Just give me some time, and then we'll figure things out okay?"
I nodded, and he kissed me. "Mmm, you taste so good." He whispered.
I couldn't help but smile. "Thanks."
He kissed me again, this time harder. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, I could feel his heart beating rapidly, and his ragid breathing. He pulled away, he stared at me intensely. "Jo, I lov-"
"Don't say it." I said. "Not until you and Pansy are over."
Draco groaned. "But I want to say it now." He kissed me passionately. "I want to make sure you know exactly how I feel, I need you to understand."
"I'll understand better when you're single, and you don't have to sneak around to kiss the girl you say you want." I said.
"I'm not just saying that, I really do want to you." Draco said.
"Oh yeah? Prove it." I whispered softly, already ready to meet him halfway for another kiss.
"Soon enough, I will prove it. And not hypothetically either." He said before kissing me.
I sure hoped he would.
Chapter 7: Guilty
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
"Guilty doesn't even begin to describe how I feel." I said as I finish catching Ron up on what's going on between me and Draco.
Ron's mouth is hanging open slightly. "Wow, that's something." He said.
"Am I horrible boyfriend stealing slut?" I asked.
"Yes and no." He said slowly. "Yes, because, you are stealing one of your best friend's boyfriend. And no, because you're not doing it out of spite or jealousy. You genuinely love Malfoy."
The thing I liked about Ron was that he always told me exactly what he thought, he didn't hold back because of my feelings, he said what was on his mind. That's a good friend. Although, sometimes I could live without his honest opinion.
"I can't do this." I said. "I can't be with Draco, I can't steal him away from Pansy. I wouldn't be able to live with myself."
"Oh, come on, you've already come this far. And you're not fully stealing him away. It's his own decision whether he wants to break up with Parkinson or not."
"I know, but I'm encouraging him. It's wrong."
"Love is never wrong." Ron said.
"Now is not the time to sound all insightful. I have to tell Draco we can't do this. He'll understand." I said nodding, knowing that wasn't true.
Ron scoffed. "That's a lie. Malfoy is going to throw a fit when he hears this."
"You don't know!" I said even though he was right.
He raised his eyebrows at me. I groaned. "What am I gonna do?" I asked. "I mean, I love him. And I think he loves me too, but I can't hurt Pansy."
"Look, Jolina, I honestly think you should follow your heart on this. Sometimes, you have to be selfish in order to be happy. And if Pansy is really your friend, she'll understand in the long run. You deserve to be happy." He said.
I sighed, wanting to get off of the subject. "How are things with Granger?" I asked.
"Not nearly as great as things with you and Malfoy. But we do spend alot of time together. I just wish something would happen."
"Maybe you have to make something happen." I suggested. "Don't just sit around and wait. Do something."
"I can't risk our friendship like that. I'm not as dumb as Malfoy is. No offense." He added.
"Still offended." I said. "And sometimes, you have to take a risk to be happy. Love is a risk."
"Oh, look who's trying to be all insightful now." Ron said looking amused.
"Well, I have been known to be very wise." I said smiling.
Ron scoffed. "Yeah and I've been known to be the richest guy in the school."
"Haha, very funny." I said sarcastically.
"I actually have been known to be funny." He said.
I rolled my eyes.
This is wrong, this is wrong, this is so wrong. But, damn it feels so right. And I can't resist him. Draco presses against me and kisses me again. I respond by kissing him back, yet again, even though I told myself I would stop him, but I've wanted it for so long.
Draco's kisses have to be the hottest in the universe. I can barely breathe at the moment. I pull away, and Draco instead kisses my neck. I have to talk to him while my lips aren't preoccupied.
"Draco?" I say.
"Hmm?" He says, not stopping.
"Why haven't you broken up with Pansy?" I asked.
He stops. "Look, Jo, before you get all mad, I've been trying, but it's not the easiest thing in the world."
"If I can break up with a different guy every two weeks, you can break up with Pansy. What, do you want me to do it for you?" I said.
"Could you?" Draco asked hopefully.
"No, stupid,you do it!" I exclaimed.
"What's wrong with how things are now?" Draco asked. "I mean, come on, Jo, we have fun together don't we? And don't you enjoy all the hot times we have together?" He whispered seductively, leaning in to kiss me.
For a moment, I give into him, but I come to my senses and push him away. "Yes, Draco, the snogging and the hot times are very enjoyable and fun. But I don't want fun, I want a relationship."
"But we are in a relationship." Draco said.
"Oh, really, so what am I to you?" I asked.
"Well, you're my best friend…who I'm kind of dating, so that would make you like…um, my best girlfriend?" He asked looking confused.
I rolled my eyes. "No! I'm your mistress, I'm the other woman. I'm girlfriend number two, and I don't like that. If you don't break up with her, I'm done." I said seriously.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"I mean no more kissing and hot times."
Draco groaned. "Come on, Jo, don't threaten me."
"It seems like it's the only way you're going to do something." I shrugged.
"Fine, I'll do it."
"Soon." I said.
"All right. Now, can we please get back to the fun stuff? You're are so damn irresistable."
"You just sweet talk your way through everything, don't you?" I asked smiling.
"Only cause it works."
"Come here." I said pulling him in for another kiss.
"Jolina, how come you don't have a boyfriend?" Pansy asked during breakfast the next morning.
"What do you mean?" I asked. "I always have a boyfriend."
"Well, you don't right now." She said.
"I'm taking a break from guys at the moment. Why do you ask?"
"Because there's this totally hot Ravenclaw who likes you and I was wondering if you'd be interested in meeting him."
"What's his name?" I asked. I wasn't all that interested,but it would be suspicious if it appeared that way.
"Bret Waise." Pansy said.
"I think I've heard of him." I said.
"Great, I'll introduce you to him at lunch." She said, getting up.
"No, I don't want to…meet him." She was already half way across the Great Hall. Guess I had to let this guy down easy.
At lunch Pansy looked extremely happy. I knew it was because she was excited about me meeting Bret.
"Why are you happy?" Draco asked.
"Because I'm hooking Jolina up." Pansy said winking at me.
"What do you mean?" He asked quickly.
"There's this guy in Ravenclaw who likes her, so I'm setting them up." She answered.
"I'm very much against this." I said trying to reassure Draco.
Draco looked slightly panicked. "Yeah, me too." He said.
"Oh, shut it." Pansy said to Draco. "Jolina, you're gonna love him. Here he comes right now."
A tall, muscular, brown haired blue eyed guy was making his way towards us. My jaw dropped, he was gorgeous. I looked at Pansy. "Is that him?" I asked.
She merely nodded, looking pleased with herself. Bret reached us.
"Hi, Jolina. I'm Bret." He said. He had a surprisingly soft voice, which I liked.
"Hi, I'm Jolina. I mean, nice to meet you Bret." I giggled like a little girl. He smiled. Wow, his smile was amazing.
I could see Draco was beyond pissed.
Who is this guy?! How dare he flirt with my girlfriend? Or, I mean my best girlfriend. Whatever she is, she's with me, so this guy needs to take a hike. I'm waiting for Jo to tell him that, but all she does is smile like a little girl. She can't seriously be attracted to this guy.
"So, Jolina," Bret says. "Pansy told me you'd be willing to accompany me on a walk."
"Did she?" Jo asked looking at Pansy.
"I sure did." Pansy said. "So, why don't you two go on that walk?"
Jo glanced at me and bit her lip. I loved when she did that, it turned me on. I wonder what it would feel like if she bit my lip. Probably, one of the best feelings in the world.
"I don't know." she said
"Oh come on, Jolina, go enjoy a walk. Besides, Blaise isn't hanging out with us today, so you'll probably feel like a third wheel when me and Draco kiss and stuff." Pansy said.
Shit, that go her! She hated watching us kiss. Now she was gonna go off with some smart good looking guy. Saying I was jealous was an understatement. Jo's eyes lit up.
"You know, Pansy you're right. You and Draco should have some alone time. You know, talk things over and discuss some things." She raised her eyebrows at me. I knew she was suggesting I break up with Pansy right now.
"Bret, I would love to accompany you on a walk." She said smiling.
Stupid Bret smiled back at her and held out his hand to help her up. Once she was up they didn't stop holding hands, that bothered me. I watched them walk away.
"They are so cute together." Pansy said.
No, they're not. Jo is way too good for that know it all, I thought. There was silence as we ate. This would be the perfect time to break up with Pansy. I'm not even fully sure why I haven't done it yet.
I guess because I'm scared. I've loved Jo for as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be with her. I never told her because I never thought in a million years she would feel the same way. So, I dated Pansy, she was a safe choice for a long term girlfriend. No one else would tolerate me being so close to someone as gorgeous as Jo.
Pansy gets jealous sometimes, but she probably thinks we're nothing more than friends. Man, is she wrong. I feel really guilty about cheating on Pansy with Jo, but I can't help myself around her, I mean she's what I've always wanted, and I now that I've got Jo, I'm not letting her go.
But I know if I don't end things with Pansy, Jo is going to let everything we have go. But still, I can't do it. I'm worried that if Jo and I do get together, she'll dump me after two weeks like everyone else she dates. But I don't want to tell her that, because she might feel insulted.
I don't even know if she loves me like I love her. She never even showed interest in me until this year when I started flirting with her and hinting that I liked her as more than a friend. I mean, Jo is my best friend, I would have known if she had feelings for me right?
Anyways, I'll have to end things with Pansy, or I'll lose Jo. But now isn't the right time for that. Now, I had to make sure this Bret guy wasn't making a move on my girl. So, I had to get away from Pansy, I knew the only way was to piss her off.
"I left my Charms book on my bed, go get it." I said to Pansy.
"I'm not your house elf, go get it yourself." Pansy said angrily.
"Fine." I said getting up and walking out of the Great Hall. I thought about where Jo and Bret would most likely be. I decided to try the beech tree next to the Black Lake, Jo loved it there.
I was right, I saw them sitting under it. I found the nearest bush and hid in it to listen to what they were saying without being seen.
I heard Jo laugh. "You have a very exquisite laugh." Bret said. What the hell?! Where does he get the word 'exquisite'?
"Thanks." Jo says. "No one has ever said that to me."
Note to self: tell Jo I like her laugh. I keep listening.
"This walk has been rather enjoyable." Bret said.
"Yes, it has been. Thanks for inviting me." Jo said.
"Oh, the pleasure is all mine." He said. "I'm just sad that it must end so soon."
"Lunch isn't over for another half an hour." She said.
"Yes, but, unfortunately, I must leave you early."
"Why? Do you have to get back to your girlfriend or something?" Jo asked. I couldn't believe she was seriously interested in whether or not this guy had a girlfriend or not.
Bret chuckled. "I don't have a girlfriend. I'm single. I have to practice Charms. I pretty much have the spell, down, but I want to make sure I have it perfected. I'm kind of a perfectionist."
"That's amazing!" Jo said admiringly.
"Thanks. So um, what about you, do you have a boyfriend? You no longer date that Calington fellow, right?"
Fellow? Okay, seriously, who the hell says fellow?! That's ridiculous!
"Nope, we broke up about a week ago." Jo said. "As for being single, well…" She paused. I wondered what she would say. Did she see herself as single even though she was kind of with me?
"I'm pretty much single." She said. Well, what does that mean?
"Well, that's good." He said.
"Really?" Jo asked. I'm sure she was smiling.
"Yes, because if you weren't single, I wouldn't be able to do this."
There was silence. Why? I peeked out of the bush and saw them kissing. Anger and jealousy raced through my veins immediatly. I absolutely hated seeing Jo with other guys. I couldn't control my anger or jealousy when I saw it.
And I was so pissed right now, I was shaking, and my fists balled up. I wanted to hit Bret, but I couldn't, Jo would kill me. I had to stop this.
I walked over to them, taking deep breaths, trying to find control. "Hey guys." I said. They broke apart. Jo looked worried.
"Draco, what are you doing here?" She asked.
"Well, Pansy had to do something, so she told me to find you guys." I said.
"It's very good you came now." Bret said. "I must go, and I'd hate to leave this lovely girl alone. Thank you for such a spectacular time."
He got up and kissed Jo's hand. "Until next time."
Jo giggled. "Until next time." Bret nodded to me and then walked away.
When he was earshot away, I turned to Jo. "What the fuck, Jo?!" I said angrily.
She looked surprised. "What?!" She asked.
"Were you really just kissing that prick?" I asked.
"Oh, you mean Bret, who isn't dating two girls?! Bret who can make up his mind about who he wants?" Jo said angrily.
"Yes. Look, you can't go around snogging other guys."
Jo raised her eyebrows. "Excuse me, but you do not tell me what I can and can't do!" She said fiercely.
The thing I loved about Jo was that unlike Pansy, she didn't take any of my shit. Jo didn't let me walk all over her. How sexy is that?
I couldn't help but smile. "What the fuck is so funny?" She asked.
I didn't say anything, I just kissed her. She was surprised at first but then she kissed me back. She always tasted so damn good. I kissed her harder, wrapping my arms around her tightly. Jo gripped my collar as she pulled away.
She rested her forehead on mine, smiling. "You didn't break up with her, did you?" She asked.
"No." I said.
"Draco, I'm dead serious when I say if you don't break up with her soon, we're done. I feel extremely guilty about what we're doing." Jo said.
"Me too. Look, I swear I will take care of it, all right?" I said.
"You better, otherwise I will start dating Bret, because he's hot, and he's a great kisser." She smirked.
I wasn't going to let that happen. "I will." I promised.
"So, half an hour alone, what should we do?" She asked smiling, wrapping her arms around my neck.
"I think this should keep us entertained." I said kissing her.
A/N: Hey. Thought I'd switch it up,and let you guys see how Draco feels about Jo. Thanks for reading!
Chapter 8: A Bit of Romance
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
"So where are you headed to?" Draco asked.
I racked my brains. Where was I headed to? Why the hell couldn't I remember? Oh, right, I couldn't remember, because Draco had just kissed me, causing me to forget about everything other than his lips. That was the problem.
Now, where was I headed to before Draco walked up and kissed me? Oh, I was headed to the common room.
"Jo?" Draco asked.
"Huh?" I responded, coming out of thought.
"I asked you where you were headed,and you just stood there with a dazed expression on your face. If you weren't so gorgeous, I would have mistaken you for Loony Lovegood." He teased.
"Very funny." I said. "I was lost in thought, something I know doesn't occur with you too often." I smirked.
"Ouch, baby, that hurt." He said pulling me closer.
"Oh. 'Baby' hmm? Already with the petnames?" I asked smiling.
"Only the best for my girl." Draco said, returning the smile.
"You're talking about me, right?" I asked.
"I only have one girl, don't I?"
"Last I checked you had two." I said.
"Er, right." He said. "So where are you headed?" He asked again.
"Common room." I said.
"What a coincidence, so am I." Draco said.
"What are the odds of that?" I asked as we started walking.
"I don't know, ask some smart person." He said, intertwining his fingers with mine.
"Draco!" I exclaimed, pulling my hand away.
"Oh, come on, Jo, no one's around." Draco said grabbing my hand again. I let him hold it, but I looked around, making sure no one was around. I was always so paranoid when it came to things like this.
The moment we set foot into the common room, Draco started kissing me. After a considerable amount of time, I came to realize that at any moment, someone could walk in and see us.
"Draco, not here." I said pulling away.
"Fine, then how about we go up to my room?" He asked, a sly grin appearing on his gorgeous face.
"Um, I don't know…" I bit my lip, thinking it over. I mean I wanted to go, but I wasn't sure I could control myself.
"Come on, Jo." He whispered. "You know you want to. And we'll have some real alone time, and it will be fun. I promise I'll make it worth your while."
Merlin, does he know how to tempt me. We hadn't really had any alone time, and I was up for some fun, I suppose. "Please." He said sticking out his bottom lip, and pouting.
I sighed, "Fine." He immediatly grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs, to his dormirtory.
Again, the moment we walked in, Draco began kissing me. He didn't even show me around or anything, but I didn't mind too much, because, I was already quite familiar with the boy's dormitory.
He moved us towards his bed, and I pulled away again. "Maybe we shouldn't be doing this." I said.
"Why not?" Draco asked impatiently.
"Because anyone can come in at any moment and find us-mm" Draco interupted me by kissing me again. I felt my thoughts go away, and all I could think about was kissing him.
"What were you saying?" He asked, after pulling away.
"Um…" What was I saying? How could I forget? Damn it, he knew my weakness! He knew kissing me made me forget!
I rolled my eyes. "Nothing." I said.
We started kissing again, sitting on his bed. He pushed me down and got on top of me. Draco's hands moved on my body, exploring it slowly, as though savoring the moment. I made sure not to get too lost in him, because I knew if things started going too far I'd have to be the one to stop it.
He slid his hands up my body, to my shirt, he started unbuttoning, and I grabbed his hands to make him stop. Draco stopped kissing me and looked down at me. I could see the lust and desire, and the desperation in his eyes, I could see how bad he wanted it.
He only uttered one word. "Please." I couldn't say no. I removed my hands from his and he continued. He kissed me again, and I knew he saying thank you with that kiss.
I decided to lighten up a little, and I unbuttoned his shirt and took it off. I could feel the excitement of what was happening surging through Draco. He was enjoying every moment, and becoming more excited by the second. I was going to feel bad when I had to stop this.
My mind raced as we continued touching and kissing and moaning. I was contemplating on if I really wanted to stop Draco when things were ready to go to the next level. I wanted it just as bad as he did, but I knew it was wrong while he was in a relationship with Pansy. If only that idiot would break up with her, then I wouldn't have such a difficult choice to make.
Before I know it, it's time to make a decision. Draco's kisses were becoming more hungry and desperate. He was holding my almost naked body against his own almost naked body so tightly, you couldn't fit a piece of parchment between us. His warm skin felt so wonderful against my own, and his strong hands gently caressed my every inch of my body they could reach.
Draco hands slid so slowly and deliberately up my back and unhooked my bra, and threw it out of the way. His moved his hands to my chest, exploring it for the first time, unclothed. My body was ready to make love to Draco, but my mind was more sensible, less full of lust, and knew we had to stop.
"Draco." I breathed.
"Hmmm?" He moaned.
"We have…to…" I found myself not wanting to say it. I kissed him desperately, trying to ignore my mind, but I just couldn't. I knew this wrong. I pulled away. "We have to stop." I said.
"No." Draco pleaded.
"Yes." I said firmly. "This is wrong, we both know it."
A mixture of anger and hurt appeared on Draco's face. I knew he thought I was rejecting him,and he did not like it at all. He got off me, and started throwing on his clothes. I did the same. I was annoyed that he was acting so childish.
"Here's your shirt." He said moodily, throwing it at me.
"What is this attitude?" I demanded.
"You get decide everything." Draco said. "When we kiss, when I'm allowed to touch you, whether we have sex or not. It isn't fair that we do everything the way you want to do it in this relationship."
"Draco, I don't think you realize that this isn't a normal relationship. You can't touch me when you want, and, yes we can only kiss secretly, and we can't have sex. But that's because you made it so."
"How?!" He exclaimed. "I don't want this!"
"Because you're in another fucking relationship!" I yelled. "We can't do the things you and Pansy do. That's just not going to work in the relationship we have while you're with her."
"You know, me breaking up with her isn't going to solve all of our problems!" Draco shouted.
"I know! But it will give us a better relationship! We would be able to do all the things that we can't right now!"
"I get that, but you could at least ask me what I want every once in a while."
"Fine, Draco, what do you want?" I asked.
"I want to have sex with you!" He said in frustration. I know I shouldn't feel insulted, but I do.
"That's it, huh?" I asked heatedly. "You just want to fuck me?! Is that what this is about? You fucking me? Cause every guy I've ever dated only wanted to have sex with me, but I thought you were different!"
"Jo, you know that's not how I meant it." Draco said stepping closer to me. "It's not about fucking you. I just- I want to make love to you. I want to feel your body against mine, and I want to pleasure you like no one else has."
"Why do you want to make love so badly?" I asked.
"Because,I want to prove my love for you. And then I'll know for sure if you truly care about me. I'll know that you're fully giving yourself to me...I just want all of you, so badly." He sighed and sat down on his bed. "I want you to feel the same way I do."
I sighed and walked over to him, I sat down next to him. I grabbed his. "You don't have to prove anything other than the fact that I'm worth losing a two year relationship for. I understand you want it badly, I do too."
"Then why won't you let me make love to you?" Draco asked desperately.
"Because, that's like the ultimate betrayal to Pansy. And when I fully give myself to you, I want you to be mine, and mine only. I don't want to share you. I'm selfish." I replied.
Draco smiled slightly. "So am I." He said. "Which is why I'm so jealous when I see you with someone else. I feel like if we have sex, you won't want to be with anyone else but me, which is all I want."
"I already don't want to be with anyone else." I said smiling. I leaned in, and Draco met me half way for a kiss.
After we finished making up, we headed back down stairs. When we exited the common room, we didn't hold hands, in case someone came. And lucky we didn't, because we ran into Theodore Nott.
"Hey." He said.
"Hey." Draco and I replied.
"Malfoy, why didn't you tell me?" He asked Draco.
Draco looked confused. "Tell you what?"
"That you're cheating on Pansy." Nott said grinning.
I inhaled sharply. How does he know? We were so careful and cautious.
"I'm not." Draco said. Either he was really convinced he wasn't cheating, or he was a really good at lying, because even I believed him for a second.
"You don't have to lie to me." Nott said.
"I'm not lying." Draco said seriously.
"Then why did I see you heading up to our dormitory with another girl today?" He asked. "Don't try to tell me it was Pansy either, because I already saw her in the Great Hall." A smirk appeared.
I rolled my eyes, mostly from relief. "That was me." I said. I knew it was okay to say that because everyone knows Draco and I are best friends and are always around eachother.
"Oh." Nott said sounding somewhat disappointed. "Well, nevermind then."
Draco nodded, and I gave Nott a smile.
"Hey, Jolina, you're single, right?" Nott asked.
"Um, yeah." I said slowly.
"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out some time?"
"No, she doesn't." Draco said quickly.
Nott ignores him and continues to look at me. "I'm sorry, no. I'm taking a break from guys right now." I lied.
"Oh, well, if you change your mind-"
"She won't." Draco answered for me, yet again. He really was selfish.
"Well, see you guys later." Nott said walking off.
"That was really mature." I said sarcastically to Draco.
"What? He was making a move on my girl, I didn't appreciate it." Draco said defensively
"You're so cute when you're jealous." I said smiling.
"You bet your gorgeous arse I am." He said, trying (and failing) not to smile.
"Okay, well, I will see you later, I need to go to the library." I gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and made to leave. Draco grabbed my arm. I knew I wouldn't get away with giving him a quick kiss.
He pulled me into a deep passionate kiss, with much moaning. When we pulled away, he said. "Jo, when are we going to have sex?"
"Good things,come to those who wait…and break up with their girlfriends." I said before giving him another kiss and then walking away.
"I really hate that you keep reminding me of that." Draco called after me.
"I really hate that you haven't broken up with her yet." I called back.
Where is he? I looked down at my watch. Draco was seven minutes late, and he was the one who told me to meet him. He better have a damn good reason for keeping me waiting. Suddenly, I saw him walking across the grounds towards me. Even from far away, I could tell he was excited about something. Maybe he finally broke up with Pansy!
When he reached me, he picked me up and kissed me enthusiastically. "Guess who has a romantic evening planned for his girl tonight?" He asked smiling.
"And which girl are we talking about here?" I asked.
Draco's smile faltered a bit. "Jo, do you really always have to bring that up? I'm trying to tell you some good news."
"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm guessing you have a romantic evening planned for me?" I asked.
Draco's enthusiasm came back. "That's right. I have everything planned out. The food, the candles, the firewhiskey, the romance. It's going to be fantastic." He said, smiling broadly.
I smiled too. "Okay, what time should I meet you?" I asked.
"Around eight." He said. "Meet me at the Room of Requirement, okay?"
"Okay. I can't wait."
"Me either. Prepare for a wonderful, romantic, passionate, intimate night." Draco said looking at me intensely.
Intimate? Passionate? Did he mean like sex? Oh, no, he was going to try to seduce me! I never thought I'd see the day that I didn't want Draco to seduce me. I needed advice on how to deal with this. So I went to the only person I could…Ron.
"Ron, I need your advice on something." I said the moment he arrived to meet me.
"What is it?" He asked.
"Sex." I answered.
Ron looked very uncomfortable. "I'm not sure I'm the one to give you advice on this." He said.
"Just listen first. Okay, Draco wants us to have sex and I want it too, but I just can't do it while he's dating Pansy, because that's like the ultimate betrayal. I mean it's one thing to snog Draco, but to have sex with him, that's just wrong. And he's got a romantic evening planned, and I know he's going to seduce me, but I don't know if I'll be able to resist him."
"Okay, don't go on this romantic evening." Ron suggested.
"But I already agreed to it. I can't change my mind now, Draco will know something is wrong." I said.
"Um, all right then,just don't have sex with him." Ron shrugged.
I scoffed. "Do you think that's easy? Have you ever been seduced by Draco Malfoy? It's impossible to say no."
"You know, I can honestly, and happily say I've never been seduced by Malfoy." He responded.
"Now is not the time for jokes." I whined. "Help me not have sex with Draco!"
"Look,you've stopped yourself before, haven't you? Just do that again, and you'll be fine."
"But there's going to be firewhiskey, and food and romance. How will I resist?"
"Well, for one, don't drink. You're much more alert when you're not drunk. And two, don't get caught up in the moment, have your guard up at all times." Ron instructed.
"I guess that's all I can do, huh?" I said, somewhat defeated.
"Yeah." Ron said nodding.
I was nervous as I made my way to the Room of Requirement. I had Ron's advice stuck in my head. Don't drink, have your guard up at all times, I told myself. I reached the Room of Requirement, and went through the door that had appeared.
The place looked amazing! It was lit with only candles, giving a romantic feel to it, and it smelled of vanilla. In the middle of the room was a table with two plates, candles, and roses on it. Draco really out did himself.
I can't believe he did this all for me. I don't recall him ever doing anything like this for Pansy. Don't let your guard down! I thought. But how could I not after being in here?
Suddenly,I'm being twirled around, and lips are pressed against mine. When I pull away, I see Draco, smiling at me. "So, what do you think?" He asked.
"This is amazing! You did all this for me?" I asked, returning a smile.
"Of course I did." He said simply.
"But you never did anything like this for Pansy." I said.
"She's not as special as you are." He shrugged.
Aww, he said I'm special! How sweet is that? I wanted to tell him I loved him so badly, but I couldn't. He wasn't fully mine yet.
Draco led me over to the table,and pulled out my chair for me. What a gentleman. And then he sat across from me.
"Why'd you do all this?" I asked as he grabbed my hand across the table.
"Because I wanted to show you how much you mean to me. And we haven't had our first date yet." Draco answered.
"Well, I can tell you, this is the best first date I've ever had." I said "I never knew you were so romantic."
"Jo, you may be my best friend, but there are some things you don't know about me." He smirked.
"Well, I can't wait to find out more." I replied.
"I can't wait to show you more."
Dinner is absolutely amazing, even though Draco doesn't have the best table manners in the world. After we're done eating, music starts playing, and I look around, trying to pinpoint exactly where it's coming from. I turn to Draco, but he's not sitting across from me anymore.
He standing infront of me, holding out his hand. "May I have this dance?" He asked.
I nod, because I'm lost for words. Draco pulls me away from the table, and wraps his arms around my waist as we begin swaying to the music.
I rest my head on his chest, and close my eyes, taking in this perfect moment. I love how safe I feel with Draco, I feel like nothing can ever hurt me when I'm with him. I finally feel loved.
I open my eyes to find Draco looking down at me, smiling. "What?" I asked.
"Nothing, I just love watching you." Draco said softly. "I love being with you."
"I love…" I almost say it, but I stop myself. "…the way you make me feel." I say instead.
Draco kisses me and I feel so alive. I feel light, like I could float away. I feel weak in the best way possible.
"How do I make you feel?" He whispered.
"Like no one else has." I whispered back, kissing him again. We stop swaying and I swear I feel the world stop spinning and the time stopping and everything freezing. The only things that even truly exists is me and Draco.
When we stop kissing, the world continues spinning and time resumes and everything unfreezes. Draco presses his forehead against mine. "Don't ever leave me." He whispered. I could hear the desperation in his voice, see the longing in his eyes, and feel the love in his touch.
"I won't." I promise.
Draco pulls away from me, and gently grabbed my hand. He led me to the back of the room, where a bed was. He sat down, and I stood between his legs. I put my hands on both sides of his face, and kissed him softly.
He put his hands over mine,and wrapped my arms around his neck, then he pulled me into his lap, putting his hands on either side of my thighs.
I craved him so bad. I wanted him to make love to me, but I knew I would stop it from happening. Draco pulled away, and I knew what he wanted me to do. So I got off of him,and he pulled the covers back and got under them. I joined him seconds later.
Draco pulled me on top of him, and kissed me again. I couldn't help but notice that his hands stayed only around my waist. He didn't try to take any of my clothes off. He just kissed me.
Soon, we stopped kissing, and I rolled off Draco and rested my head on his chest, he wrapped his arm around me. "Tonight wasn't about trying to get me to have sex with you, was it?" I asked.
"No, it was about showing that I care more about you,than having sex with you." He answered.
"Well, you sure showed me." I said.
Later, I fell asleep in Draco's arms, listening to the beating of his heart, and feeling more loved than I had ever felt in my entire life.
A/N: Aww, wasn't that cute? I wanted to show you guys Draco cares about more than just the physical things in their relationship. Hope you liked it. Thanks for reading!
Chapter 9: The Break Up
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
"It was so romantic!" I gushed to Ron a few days after the romantic evening Draco and I had. "And he didn't even try to have sex, it was great!"
Ron smiled. "That's great, Jolina, I'm really happy for you guys."
"You are?" I asked surprised.
"Well, I'm happy for you. Not Malfoy, he's a git." Ron answered.
"Hey, don't talk about my…um, whatever he is like that!" I warned.
"Still hasn't broken up with Parkinson, has he?" He asked.
I sighed. "Nope. He keeps saying he will, but then he doesn't, it's like he wants to be with me, but not bad enough to break up with her. I just don't understand. What should I do?"
For some odd reason, Ron always had the best advice. He thought for a moment. "Well, maybe you should cut him off." He suggested.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Like tell him you guys will stop doing certain things, like snogging until he breaks it off with Parkinson. That way,he'll be forced to make a decision."
"Well, what if that doesn't work?" I asked.
"Then he's not worthy of you. If he really cares about you, it will work."
"It's worth a try, I suppose. Why do you have such good advice?" I asked.
Ron shrugged. "I told you, I was very wise." I rolled my eyes. "But, Jolina, I could use some advice from you."
"About Granger?" I asked. He nodded. "Okay, go ahead."
"How do I become more than friends with her?" He asked. "Should I just straight up ask her out?"
I thought for a second. "No." I said finally. "I know you probably don't want to hear this, but you have to do with Granger what Draco did with me. You have to slowly hint that you want to be more than friends with her. Say she's gorgeous, "accidentally on purpose" hold her hand. You have to see how she feels about it first, then make your move."
Ron nodded, apparently thinking it over. "Okay, I think I can do that." He said. "You know, you give pretty good advice too."
I smiled and threw my hair over my shoulder. "Well, of course I do."
Ron shook his head. "You Slytherins are as cocky as they come, huh?"
"We are not cocky." I said defensively. "We are merely very confident in ourselves and the amazing things we do."
Ron scoffed and threw his arm over my shoulder as we continued walking. "Whatever helps you sleep at night." He said chuckling.
"Oh shut up!" I laughed, poking him in the stomache. What would I do without that idiot?
"Hey, Jolina, where are you headed to?" Pansy asked after I bumped into her. I was on my way to meet Draco, but I couldn't tell her that.
"Um, emergency prefect duty." I lied.
"Oh, well do you have a minute?" She asked.
"Sure." I said.
"It's about Draco." She said. "I think he's interested in someone else."
"What makes you think that?" I asked carefully.
"Well, we don't talk like we used to, and when we're alone he always seems distracted like he's thinking about someone else. He's been really distant and he's always sneaking off somewhere, and then not telling me where he's been. And sometimes when he comes back, his hair and his clothes are all messed up like he's been fooling around with someone, and he always smells all girly and fruity. And he's got hickeys that I didn't give to him." Pansy explained sadly.
Oh, I'm such a slut. Look at what I'm doing to my best friend,she's all sad because of me. But I still can't let him go. "Oh, that's not good," was all I could say.
"That's not even the worst part. Last week when we were having sex, he said someone else's name."
I gasped. "Whose name?!" I asked.
Pansy shrugged. "I didn't hear it properly, I just know it wasn't my name. It was a short name, though. Maybe it was An, or Jen."
Or Jo. I thought. "I think he's going to break up with me." She said.
"Well, is that a bad thing?" I said on accident.
"Um, yeah." She said giving me a strange look.
"I just meant that, wouldn't you rather Draco break up with you than cheat on you?" I explained quickly.
"I guess." Pansy sighed. "Well, I'll let you get on with your duties." She said before walking away.
I walked quickly to go meet Draco. The moment I saw him, I forgot about Pansy and her suspicions. "You're late." He said. "You know what that means, extra snogging for me." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me.
"What kept you, anyways?" Draco asked after pulling out of the kiss.
I decided not to tell him about tell conversation I had with Pansy. "Um, just lost track of time." I shrugged.
"Oh." He shrugged too and kissed me again. I wasn't fully into the kiss like I usually was. I was thinking about how I could get Draco to break up with Pansy before she started investigating why Draco was acting distant and secretive.
"Something wrong?" Draco asked.
"Huh? Uh, no nothing's wrong." I said quickly.
"You sure, you seem a bit distracted." He said.
"Um, sorry, just thinking." I said.
"About?" He pressed.
"Us, and our relationship."
"You know, I'm glad you brought that up." Draco said. "I know we haven't talked about this since last week, but I really think we should talk about it."
I know where this is going, and I know exactly how to handle this thanks to Ron.
Draco took a deep breath. "So, when are we going to have sex?"
"Well, I've been thinking about that too. And I've decided we'll have sex when you break up with Pansy." I said.
"When you break up with her, we'll have sex." I repeated.
"Are you serious?" He asked.
"Yep, the moment you break up with her, we'll do it."
"The moment?" Draco clarified.
"The moment." I repeated.
Draco sighed. "All right fine, I guess that's fair."
I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Great! Glad we got that settled."
A few days went by and nothing changed. Draco still hadn't broken up with Pansy. I didn't understand, I thought for sure that no sex would work,but it didn't. Then I realized that Draco didn't need me to have sex, he could have sex with Pansy whenever he wanted. So, I guess, I had to cut him off from something else.
"Um, wait a minute." I said stopping Draco from kissing me.
"What is it?" Draco asked confused.
"I've come to another decision about our relationship."
"And that is?"
"You can't touch me until you break up with Pansy."
Draco groaned. "You have got to be kidding me!"
I shrugged. "I don't want to do this."
"Then don't!" Draco exclaimed.
I sighed. "This wouldn't be happening if you would do what you said you would."
He rolled his eyes. "Fine, no more touching." He said annoyed. He put his hands on either side of me on the wall, not touching me and kissed me. "There, didn't lay a finger on you."
"You're acting like a child." I said crossing my arms in front of my chest.
"And you're acting like a lunatic with all these ridiculous rules of what I can and can't do to you." He said angrily. "It's unfair."
I raised my eyebrows. "Draco don't turn this on me, and don't you dare talk to me about unfair."
"Whatever." He said walking away. A part of me wanted to go after him, but the other part of me was much too pissed to do that. I'd just see if tomorrow he'd be cooled off.
Why was this happening? Why are things between me and Draco so complicated? How can Draco say wants to break up with Pansy so bad, but then when it comes down to it, he can't? How could I be such a slut and betray one of my best friends?
So many questions and not a single answer. I never dreamed of taking Draco away from Pansy, I never thought it was possible. But it was and it wasn't at all how it was supposed to be. By now, Draco and I were supposed to be officially together and Pansy would have already forgiven us for being together because she realized we were meant to be.
Instead I was walking around crying, Draco was off somewhere pissed off at me, and Pansy was probably trying to figure out who Draco is now interested in. This was all wrong, and it was all my fault.
Draco didn't speak to me for most of the day,until after lessons when we were alone.
"Hey, Jo, I'm sorry about how I acted yesterday." Draco said putting his hands on my shoulders and kissing me. He touched me, does that mean…?
"Did you break up with her?" I asked hopefully.
He sighed. "No."
"Then why are you touching me?" I asked shrugging off his hands.
"Jo, you can't be serious about that!" He said in disbelief.
"Well, I am." I said angrily. "Draco, you need to make a choice. I'm sick and tired of coming second to her. If you don't want to be with me, please, just tell me now, and we can end this and we can go back to being best friends, I promise. Just tell me, do you actually want to be with me?"
"Yes, Jo, of course I want to be with you." He said desperately.
"Then why do I feel like you don't?" I asked on the verge of tears.
"I-I don't know, I've done everything to-"
"No, you have not done everything!" I interupted. "Draco, I only asked you to do one thing! All I asked was for you to end things with Pansy, and you still haven't!" Now, I was crying.
"Jo please calm down. Don't cry. I'm sorry okay? I'll do it, I promise." Draco said quickly.
"I don't believe you." I said shaking my head.
"No, I will, I swear. Just, please, give me one more chance, let me prove myself." He leaned in to kiss me, and at the last moment, I turned away.
"I can't do this anymore." I cried quietly.
"Do what?" Draco asked anxiously.
"This." I answered. "This relationship. It's all wrong, and I can't take it."
"No, Jo don't say that. Please." He begged.
"Look, you need to figure out who you really want, and I just need to get away from all this."
"But I do know who I want." Draco insisted.
"No, you don't." I said.
Draco wiped the tears off of my face. "Don't do this please. I can do it, okay? I'll be better, I'll change, I'll do whatever you want me to, just don't leave me."
"I'm not leaving. You're my best friend and-"
"You know what I mean Jo." He said. "Don't let what we have go."
"You promised you wouldn't. That night on our date, you promised you wouldn't do this." Draco pleaded.
"That was before all this happened." I said, trying to keep the tears from falliing, but failing miserably.
I could see the tears in Draco's eyes threatening to spill over. "So, this is what you want?" He choked out. "You want to just let go and go back to being best friends?"
I nodded. "For now, yes." I said. "We need to figure this out."
"Fine." He said kissing me quickly and then quickly striding off before I could say another word, or see him cry.
I ran my fingers through my hair in sadness and frustration. "Fuck!" I sobbed.
The next few days, I'm nothing short of a mess. Sure, I looked like I was okay from afar, but if you got as close as Draco, Pansy, and Blaise did, you would see how messed up I was. Draco and I were best friends again, and nothing more, which killed me. Draco didn't seem to be doing that well either. Pansy and Blaise were confused about why Draco and I were so messed up.
I couldn't believe how easily we slipped back into just being friends, it was weird,and upseting all at the same time. We said nothing of the relationship we had not only a week before, we just listened to what Blaise and Pansy talked about, and occasionally joined in. When we were alone, we filled the akwardness with studying, and gossiping.
This was no better than being in a three way relationship. Infact, it was worse.
I checked the clock on the table next to Draco's bed. 8:20 pm. Draco had told me to meet him in his room at eight for some reason unknown. As usual,he was late. As I sighed, I laid back down on his bed and continued thumbing through my Potions book, bored out of mind. The door to the dormirtory opened. I looked up, and there was Draco, smiling broadly. I hadn't seen him smile for real since our 'break up' if you can even call it that.
"What are you so happy about?" I asked. "And why are you late, yet again?"
"Got held up." Draco said sitting down on the bed as I sat back up.
"All right, what are you so happy about?" I asked again.
Draco was still smiling happily, it was kind of weird but really cute too. "I have a surprise for you, that I just know you'll love." He said.
"Ooh, what is it?" I asked, smiling too.
"This." He said kissing me on the lips. He was right, I sure do love this. And it is quite the surprise. Before the kiss is over, and I realize what's happening, Draco has me pinned down on the bed and is sliding his hands up my shirt as though that's where they belong.
"What are you doing?" I asked, trying (and failing horribly) to get Draco's hands out of my shirt.
"I'm kissing a sexy girl,and getting ready to make love to her like no one else has." Draco answered, smirking.
"Oh, and what makes you think that's going to happen?" I asked, slightly amused. Only slightly.
"Well, the fact that: I'm single, I can do whatever the hell I want, and I believe we had a deal." Not once did the smirk leave his face.
Wait a minute, did he say single?! I gaped at him. He finally did it!
Draco broke up with Pansy!
A/N: Yay! Draco dumped Pansy! It's about time, huh? I decided to stop torturing you guys and have Draco finally end things with her. You can thank me with an awesometastic review! But, will Jo take Draco back? How will Pansy feel about the break up? You'll find out soon! Thanks for reading!
Chapter 10: Aftermath of the Break Up
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
I had decided that today was the day I would break up with Pansy and win Jo back. The past few days were nothing short of torture. I hated not kissing Jo and not touching her and not sneaking around with her. I even missed holding her hand when no one was around.
I couldn't believe how much I had taken her for granted. I honestly didn't think she would end things so soon if I didn't break up with Pansy. When Jo broke up with me, I died a little, and I cried a lot. I had never cried over anyone before,but I just completely broke down after I kissed her for the last time and walked away.
The fact that she was practically sobbing didn't make things any better. I hated that I was causing her that much pain just because I didn't have the balls to break up with Pansy. But that changed, I missed Jo way too much, so I made the decision to end things with Pansy.
Today after lessons, I told Jo to meet me in my room at eight. I planned to break up with Pansy after dinner. It took me awhile to find her and I was already running late, so I cut right to the chase.
"Hey." I said. "There's something we need to discuss."
"What is it?" Pansy asked.
I sighed. "We should break up." I said.
"What?' She asked.
"I said we should-"
"I heard you, but why?" She asked. I could see the tears filling her eyes. I felt bad, but not as bad as I felt being without Jo.
"Because things don't feel the same. I know you've noticed it too. We've grown apart."
"Is there someone else?" She asked.
I hesitated for a moment. I couldn't tell her that I was truly in love with her best friend, could I? "Look it doesn't matter if there is, things still aren't working out between us." I said.
Pansy scoffed. "There is someone else. Who is it?"
"No one. This has to do with us and no one else. It's time we move on. We can still be friends, though."
"Whatever." She shook her head, as tears fell down her face.
"Oh, don't cry. I'm really sorry." I said.
"No, you're not. But you will be." With that she stalked away from me. Well that didn't go like I planned. I didn't expect her to cry. Or threaten me.
Now I was on top of Jo, having just kissed her for the first time in days, ready to make love to her. She said the moment I broke up with Pansy, we would have sex. I was so ready.
Jo is gaping at me. Then finally she says. "You broke up with Pansy?!"
I smiled down at her. "Yeah." I answered.
"B-but why?" She asked.
I was sort of confused. "Jo, I did it for us. So we could be together."
"Draco, I thought we were going to figure this out first." She said.
"What is there to figure out anymore?" I asked. "I did it. I broke up with Pansy. We can be together."
Jo scoffed. "It doesn't work like that. You can't just decide we're back together."
"B-but I did what you wanted." I said quickly.
"Yes." She said slowly. "What I wanted. Did you ever think something might have changed? That maybe I don't want what I wanted then?"
"It's been four days!" I exclaimed.
"Yes, but things have changed." Jo said quietly. I couldn't believe she didn't want to get back together. Maybe she just needed some convincing.
"But, you said the moment I broke up with Pansy we would make love. Well this is that moment." I said.
"That doesn't really mean anything." She said.
"What do you mean? We had a deal." I said anxiously.
"I mean, that we could still have sex, but it won't mean anything. We'll still be just friends." Her eyes were wandering around the room, avoiding mine.
I thought for a moment. I didn't like that idea. The whole point of making love to Jo was to have her be mine and only mine. To prove my love to her.
I shook my head. "I don't want to have sex with you if we're not going to be together."
She looked at me. "What did you say?" She asked.
"I said I don't want to have sex with you if we're not together." I repeated.
Jo smiled. "Well, in that case, I guess I can give you another chance." She said.
"Really?!" I asked.
She nodded. "I didn't want to get back together, because I thought all you cared about was the sex. But you've proved yourself."
I let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank Merlin!" Jo laughed her amazing laugh that she has when she's truly happy. I feel so lucky that I make her happy. "So, then you'll be my girlfriend?" I asked. "Not my mistress, not the other woman, not girlfriend number two. My girlfriend."
Jo looks at me for a second before smiling and nodding. Then she reached up and kissed me. Chills ran through my body. As I kissed her, I caressed her face softly with my hand, and then I slowly slid my hand down her to her legs.
Jo pulled away. "You should close the curtains." She whispered.
"You mean, we're gonna…" She nodded.
"We don't have if you don't want to." I said.
"I've been waiting for this for a while now. I'm not waiting any longer." She said.
I quickly got up and closed the curtains around my bed. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited, I was ecstatic to say the least. I tried not to show it too much. Jo watched me with an amused expression.
"What?" I asked.
She shook her head and chuckled. I kissed her and cut her laugh short. "What were thinking?" I asked.
"How much I want you." She whispered. She grabbed me by my tie and pressed her lips against mine. She pulled me down on top her. I didn't waste my time, just in case she changed her mind. I immediately started taking off her clothes, she started taking off my clothes too, maybe she like me wanted to hurry before she changed her mind.
It didn't take long before Jo is only wearing her bra and underwear, and I'm only in my boxers. Suddenly, everything feels like it's in slow motion. Our kissing becomes slower, but more passionate, the movement of our hands isn't fast, but deliberate and meaningful.
Jo pulls away. "Fifteen." She says.
"What?" I asked confused.
"That's how many guys I've slept with. Fifteen." At first I thought she was saying we only had fifteen minutes. That wasn't nearly enough time with her, I needed all night.
"Oh." I said, suddenly feeling nervous. I had to be better than fifteen guys at sex. I needed to be the best Jo has ever had, so she'd never be tempted to leave me. I had to keep her coming back for more.
"Well, um, I've slept with five girls." I said.
"I don't want to hear that." Jo said.
"But, you told me about the guys." I said defensively.
"You asked, remember?" She said.
I did remember. But I had asked out of spite and jealousy, because she had slept with stupid Calington. I was pissed, and I wanted her to be as pissed as I was. "Right." I said.
"Just forget about it." She said, kissing me deeply. But I couldn't. Who was the best? Who did I have to outdo?
I tried to pull away, and ask, but Jo captured my bottom lip in her teeth, pulling me back in gently. I was right. Her biting my lip was the best feeling in the world. She got a moan out of me and smirked against my lips. I easily got her back by nibbling her neck softly, infact, I got multiple moans from that.
Only mere minutes later, we're making love. I got completely lost in Jo. I lose track of everything except for her. I don't know how long we're entertwined. Or how many times we cried out in pleasure. I didn't know exactly how much noise we were making. Or how much time we spent underneath the covers sweating from the heat we were causing.
What I did know was that my body wouldn't stop. Being with Jo like that was intoxicating and addictive. I couldn't stop if I wanted to. It seemed like so many hours later we finally stopped. Our bodies were exhausted and couldn't go any longer. I got off of Jo, breathing hard and fast and collapsed beside her. I could see her chest rising and falling quickly as she breathed heavily.
We said nothing as our breathing calmed. I stared at Jo, hoping she would never leave me. She turned to me and smiled weakly, as though reassuring me she would never leave.
I could tell she was about to fall asleep. She turned away from me,allowing me to wrap my arms around her before she drifted off.
All night, I clung to Jo. The only person I'd ever need. And the only person I loved.
I'm half awoken by the bed I'm sleeping in suddenly shifting,and becoming lighter. My eyes opened slightly. "Wha-?" I asked drowsily.
"Shh." A voice whispered softly in my ear, from behind me. "Go back to sleep, love." Lips kissed my neck softly and lovingly. I listened to the voice and drifted back into a peaceful sleep.
My eyes flutter as I wake up yet again. I look around, and realize I'm alone. The events of the previous night come back to me, and I smiled. I could still feel Draco's body against mine, even though he wasn't there. I sat up slowly, looking around and noticing a note on top of neatly folded clothes.
I pick up the note. It was in Draco's writing.
Sorry I couldn't be there when you woke up. I had to do something. I got you some clean clothes, you can shower, and I'll see you in the Great Hall. Last night was spectacular.
I smile and looked at the clothes Draco laid out for me. My favorite green shirt, and a pair of shorts. There was also my pink lacy bra and underwear. How he managed to obtain my clothes, I didn't know, and I'm not sure I wanted to know.
I opened the curtians around Draco's bed slowly, but came to realize I was alone in the room. I took a nice hot shower,and put on the clothes Draco left for me. I put my wet hair in a ponytail, and headed down to the Great Hall. There were a few people in the common room who didn't look surprised I was coming from the boy's dormitory.
The first person I saw was Draco. He was talking to Blaise, until he noticed me entering. He smiled at me like he had never smiled at anyone else. I reached the table and sat down.
"Hey." I said.
"Hey." Draco said back. "You look amazing."
I blushed. "Thanks, you do too."
"What about me?" Blaise asked.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, uh you look great too, Blaise." Draco said, not taking his eyes off of me.
"Am I missing something here?" Blaise asked looking between us.
"No." We both said quickly.
"Okay then." He said suspiciously. "So, Jolina, did you hear that Draco broke up with Pansy?"
"No." I lied. "I was not aware of that."
"Yeah, well, Jo I did." Draco said playing along.
"Wow." I said.
"Daphne says she was crying all night." Blaise continued. I felt so guilty. "Speak of the devil." He said.
I turned and saw Pansy entering the Great Hall. She looks a mess. She's in sweats and a sweat shirt, her hair is messily put up in a ponytail. Her eyes are red rimmed, and her face is tear stained.
I had never seen her like this. "I'm going to go talk to her." I said.
Draco grabbed my arm and whispered so Blaise couldn't hear. "You're not going to tell her about us,are you?"
"No. I'm just going to see if she's okay."
I got up and went over to her. "Hey, Jolina." She said in a defeated voice.
"Hey, Pansy." I replied. "What happened?" I asked, already knowing.
"Haven't you heard? Draco dumped me." Her voice broke.
"Um, yeah, I just heard. I'm so sorry."
"T-the worst part is he didn't even tell me the real reason. He said 'it just wasn't working out' but I-I know there's someone else."
"Oh." I said.
"A-and then I tried to find you last night, but I couldn't. W-where were you?" Pansy cried.
I felt so horrible. "I'm so sorry Pansy, I didn't know. I was, um with someone last night. I didn't even make it back to our room." I said guiltily.
"Oh." She sniffed. "Do you know who she is?" She asked me.
"Who's she?" I asked.
"The girl Draco left me for. Do you know who she is?"
I sighed and shook my head. "No, I don't."
"Okay, then. I'm gonna grab a piece of toast and get out of here. It's too soon to see him." Pansy said sadly.
"All right, I'll see you later." I said. I went back to my seat next to Draco.
"I feel so bad." I whispered.
Draco wrapped his arm around my waist and whispered. "Don't. It's not your fault. I'm the one who hurt her."
"Well, I helped." I said.
"Baby, don't worry about it. We did it for us, okay?"
I nodded. "Okay."
"What is with you two today?" Blaise asked looking at us strangely.
I cleared my throat, and Draco unwrapped his arm from around me. "Nothing." We said.
Before he could say anything more, Nott sat down and said "Hey."
"Hey." We all replied.
"So, Jolina, I heard something interesting this morning." Nott smirked.
"About what?" I asked.
"You. I heard you came down from the boy's dormitory this morning, which means you can't have slept in your own bed last night." He said.
"Hmm, that is interesting." Blaise said. "And it also reminds me. Draco, I hear you were celebrating your newfound singleness."
"Where did you hear that?" Draco asked.
"Last night from your bed. You and whoever you had sex with last night were pretty loud." Blaise said.
Draco and I glanced at eachother. I knew we should have went to the Room of Requirement.
"So, Jolina, what lucky guy did you fuck last night?" Nott asked, again smirking.
"Who I fuck is none of your damn business, Nott." I said.
"Well, excuse me for trying to find some information." He said.
"So, Draco who did you have sex with last night?" Blaise asked.
Draco cleared his throat and shrugged. "No one worth mentioning." I looked at him raising my eyebrows. "It's just a figure of speech." He muttered.
"Fine, both of you don't tell us about your wild nights." Nott said getting up. "By the way, love your hickeys from your little endeavors." He walked away.
I rubbed my neck as though trying to rub off the hickeys. I was so scared one of them would put two and two together. Thank Merlin they were too focused on the seperate parts.
"It's kind of funny how both of you slept with someone last night." Blaise said. "And that you both have hickeys…and you both won't tell me who you slept with. And you don't even seem interested in who eachother slept with as if you already know..."
Realization came across Blaise's face. My stomache dropped, and Draco and I exchanged worried glances.
"No." Blaise said. We just looked at him, confirming what he thought. "You two?! You two fucked eachother last night?!" He whispered.
"We prefer the term 'made love'." Draco said quietly.
Blaise looked at us in disbelief. "Oh, my goodness, you did! How could you-? And Pansy? Ugh, you guys are best friends!"
"A little more than that, actually." I whispered.
"Oh, no. We are going to talk about this. After dinner, our room." He said getting up.
"I don't want to hear it right now." He said walking away.
"We're in trouble aren't we?" I asked.
"Yeah." Draco answered.
A few minutes later we left the Great Hall. I was really worried about what Blaise would do. Would he tell Pansy?
"Stop worrying." Draco said. "Blaise won't rat us out." His voice was so soothing and confident, I trusted him.
"Okay." I said nodding.
"That's my girl." He said kissing me. It felt so good knowing I was his only girl.
"I just realized there's something I forgot to tell you last night." Draco said seriously.
"What?" I asked.
"I love you, Jo." He whispered.
"I love you too, Draco." I said. Finally, after all these years I got to say it.
I can't believe he broke up with me. I thought we had something special. Then after two years of my time and love, Draco decides he wants some slut instead. I can't stop crying. Or stop being pissed.
I never saw this coming. I mean, sure he's cheated on me before, but he always comes back. I guess whatever whore he's been sneaking around with has got him really good.
But when I find out who she is, I'm going to get her really good. No one steals my boyfriend from right under my nose and gets away with it. The only problem is I have no fucking clue who it is.
I don't know what kind of personality she has, or what house she's in, or if she's prettier than me. So I'm pretty much blind searching. I just have to pay attention and see what girl he's around all the time. Though he's barely anywhere without Jolina.
She might be my best hope of finding out who Draco is with now. She's his best friend, he's bound to tell her. I think she knows something, she seemed really nervous when I asked her about it this morning.
I feel bad for Jolina right now. She's probably feeling torn, because Draco and I broke up. I'm not even going to ask her to choose sides, I know she'll choose his. She's better friends with him than she is with me.
But I need to find out who this other girl is. When I do, I'm going to destroy her and get Draco back. He belongs to me and me only. Especially after all I did to get him in the first place.
The lies I told, the people I hurt, the lives I ruined, the blackmailing, the manipulating I had to perform. I've done some fucked up things, but I wouldn't take any of it back. Everyone who I lied to deserved it. Especially the person I decieved the most, oh did they deserve what I did. Now they know not to ruin my life. They know their place.
The best thing is no one knows what I did, and I never have to worry about anyone finding out. What I did need to worry about out was finding and ruining the bitch that stole Draco from me.
Then I'm going to make Draco wish he had never left me. I wasn't joking when I said he would be sorry. He will be.
Hi. So, a lot happened in that chapter, huh? Blaise found out about Jo and Draco. What will happen at this meeting after dinner? Will Blaise keep his mouth shut? And you saw how Pansy is feeling after the break up, which I thank NymphadoraLupin, who asked me to show Pansy's POV, and for her awesome reviews. And while I'm thanking people, I also want to thank DracoGal for her very wonderful and enthusiasic reviews, and slytherinprincess0198 for her amazing reviews too.
Back to the story, what horrible things has Pansy done, and to whom has she done these things to? Will she find who stole Draco from her?? You'll find out! Please review! Even if you don't, thanks for reading! :D
Chapter 11: Supposed to be Friends.
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
Throughout the day the clocks and the watches seem to tick so loud as though counting down to the time we had to talk to Blaise. It's all I could think about, and seeing as it was Saturday, I didn't even have lessons to distract me from thinking about it.
Draco seems so calm about everything, which freaks me out even more. Why wasn't he freaking out like I was?! He just kept assuring me it would be fine,and we didn't have anything to worry about. I want to believe him, but I can't, I have to know for myself for sure.
What I also needed was to talk to an outside observer without too much interest in this particular subject: Ron.
I managed to get away from Draco to find Ron. I found him with Potter and Granger. I put on my mean face.
"Weasley, Head Boy would like to see you. Something about prefect duty." I said sneering.
Ron got up, knowing what was going on. Granger stood up too. I raised my eyebrows. "I didn't say anything about you, Granger. He just wants to see Weasley."
"Why would he only want Ron?" She asked glaring at me.
"I don't know." I snapped impatiently. "But I don't think that's any of your business. Hurry up, Weasley, you're wasting my life."
I turned on my heel and walked away, with Ron behind me. "Something big happened?" He asked.
"Oh yeah." I answered.
When we were alone, I tell him everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours.
"Zabini knows?!" He exclaimed after everything.
"Yes, and I'm so scared he's going to tell Pansy and then she's gonna hate me and tell everyone that I'm a slut, and Draco and I won't be able to be together anymore."
"Jolina, calm down." Ron said slowly. "You are getting way ahead of yourself. Just talk to Zabini, and then you can freak out if you want,but for now, just breathe and calm down, okay?"
"Okay, but what if that does happen?" I asked. "What am I supposed to do?"
"I…don't know." He answered.
I sighed heavily. "I just hope that Blaise will see that Draco and I love eachother and all we want is to be together. I never meant to hurt anyone."
"I know you didn't. But as a wise man once said: sometimes you have to hurt other people in order to be happy."
I smiled slightly. "You said that."
"I did. Which means I'm very wise." Ron said.
I smiled. Ron always knew how to make me smile.
If the ticking of the clocks were loud before, they were absolutely ear-splitting at dinner. I could barely even eat. For all I knew, this could be the last time I ate in peace without being called a backstabbing, man stealing whore. All throughout dinner, Draco gives me reassuring looks that don't exactly make me feel better.
Finally the time comes for us to make our way to their room. Draco and I sit for five minutes in silence, and Blaise didn't show up. I groaned.
"What is taking him so long?! I'm dying of anxiety here!" I said.
"Well, maybe I should give you a little mouth to mouth to keep you alive. I can't have my girlfriend dying on me." Draco said leaning in to kiss me.
I smiled as our lips touched. He immediately deepened the kiss gently placing one of his hand on the back of my head, and the other on my lower back. I put my hands of either side of his face, taking in what could be our last moment like this together. All too soon it was ruined.
"What the hell is going on?!" A voice exclaimed and we broke apart. I sighed in relief seeing it was Blaise, but the look on his face caused the relief to leave as quickly as it had come to me.
"We were just-" I started,but he interupted.
"What, eating eachother's faces?!" Blaise asked.
"Blaise, mate calm down." Draco said.
"I will not calm down!" He snapped. "Not while you two are shagging eachother!"
"We're not!" I bursted out.
"Oh, yeah, then what were you two doing last night? I'm sure you didn't get that hickey from playing Wizard's Chess."
My hand flew up to my neck to hide it. I didn't like mad Blaise, he's mean and he yells a lot.
"No. You two listen, I talk." Blaise said. We were both silent. "I don't even know where to begin with you two. I mean, the same day Draco dumps Pansy, you two decide to go and fuck eachother? What kind of friends are you? I mean seriously, the same day! You couldn't hold off you sexual needs until at least today?!"
"See the thing about that is-" I started.
"Secondly," Blaise continued loudly, blocking my voice out. "You two don't even have the brains or the decency to cover your tracks. You guys are acting all flirtasious at breakfast, and being secretive, I'm surprised no one figured it out. What would you have done if someone who wasn't me had figured out what you two did?! What if Pansy found out?"
"But we were just-"
Blaise held his hand up to stop Draco. "And let's not forget the most important thing. You guys are supposed to be friends. Best friends. What you two are doing is exactly how friendships fall apart. You guys start fooling around, and that's fun and dandy until one of you starts to want something more, but then the other doesn't, and then you guys break it off. Then things are so awkward, you can't even be friends anymore. And then you're other friends have to choose sides, and everyone's friendships are fucked up. Is that what you want?" He asked.
"No." We answered at the same time.
"Then I don't understand why you two are doing this. And what if Pansy somehow finds out? How will you explain it to her? Why are you guys risking so much to do this? It's just-Draco, why would you do this?"
"Because I love Jo!" Draco yelled.
Blaise looked as though he had been hit in stomache for a second, and then quickly recovered. "But you guys are best friends. You're breaking all the rules of friendship. And Pansy-"
"Blaise, I don't care, there is no way in hell that I could stay just friends with Jo. Not after everything that's happened." Draco said. "I tried, and I just can't do it. She's the only one I want, no one else is going to do it. I know we're supposed to be just friends, but that's not enough for me. I can't control myself around her. I will always have the urge to touch her and that need to kiss her. I'm in love with her. I lost her once, I'm not losing her again."
Although Draco is talking to Blaise, he's looking right at me. I smiled, and then turned to Blaise.
"Look, I know this shocking and that it seems wrong in so many ways, but I love Draco. Nothing else matters as much as being with him. And believe me, I tried to stop this, but I couldn't. I can't make myself be just friends with him. Us being just friends would ruin our friendship, because I will always want something more with him. I can't just fall out of love with him."
Blaise sighed, but didn't say anything right away. "You guys really love eachother?" He asked finally.
"More than anything." Draco answered.
"Well, I guess I have no right to mess that up." He shrugged.
Relief came back to me. "So, you're not going to tell Pansy?" I asked.
"No." He said. "But I don't know how long you guys are going to be able to keep this a secret, she's bound to find out soon, you know."
"We know." Draco said. "But we want to keep this quiet for as long as possible. We're giving Pansy hopefully enough time to get over me, so when she finds out, the blow won't be so bad."
"Yeah, hopefully she won't hate me and convince everyone that I'm a dirty slut that stole her boyfriend." I added in.
"Yes, I suppose that would be bad." Blaise said nodding. "Now you guys are sure this is the real thing? You're not just fooling around, are you?"
"No, we're not. This is the real thing." I assured him.
"Okay, good, then I guess I have nothing more to say. I'll leave you two alone." He walked out of the room.
"Well, that went better than I thought it would." I said to Draco.
"Really? I saw it going better in my mind." Draco said.
I raised my eyebrows at him. "What?" He asked. "I knew Blaise wouldn't tell, he just needed a little persuasion."
"Do you think he's right?" I asked quietly. "Do you think we're only supposed to be friends, and we're breaking the rules?"
"Yeah, I do think he's right." Draco answered. "But I don't care. If there's anyone I want to break the rules with, it's you. And even if Pansy finds out sooner than we want, you're worth it."
"I am?" I asked.
"Yes." He said stroking my face softly with his hand and brushing his lips against mine.
"I love you." I breathed.
"I love you too." His eyes closed and he wrapped his arms around me.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked.
"Making love to you." He said.
"Why are you thinking about it when you can be doing it?" I asked.
Draco chuckled. "I don't know." He picked me up and carried me to his bed, where he laid me down carefully, and for the second time, we made love.
Maybe we were supposed to be friends. Maybe we're risking alot. Maybe we were breaking the rules. I didn't know. But what I do know is that we were meant to be together, and I was deeply in love with him...
A/N: Hey! So Blaise isn't going to tell, but how long can he keep the secret? Pansy is going to start doing some investigating. Will she find out about Jo and Draco? I don't know...oh wait, yes I do. Sorry if this chapter was short and suckish. Next one will be better and up soon. Thanks for reading. :)
Chapter 12: Investigating and the Two Week Mark
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
"Draco, please, I have to go now!" I said pulling away for at least the fifteenth time.
"Oh, come on, just one more." He said pulling me back in for a kiss for the sixteenth time. He kept saying 'just one more' but he just didn't want me to leave.
I pulled away again. "Seriously, I need to go." I said firmly, wishing I didn't have to go.
Draco sighed moodily. "All right, fine." He wrapped his arms around me. "But how long do I have to wait to see you again?" He asked.
"You'll see me at dinner." I said smiling.
"You know what I mean. When will I get to kiss you again?"
"Hmmm, after dinner. When we're alone again." I answered.
He groaned. "That's so far away."
"I know, baby, but remember, good things come to those who wait." I said.
"But I want you right now." Draco whispered, gently pressing his lips against my neck.
I closed my eyes. I loved when he did this. But at the same time I hated it, because it made me not want to leave. But I had to get going.
With much diffculty, wriggled out of Draco's grip. "I need to leave, I will see you later." I said giving him a very quick kiss, so he wouldn't pull me back in.
"Okay, fine. I love you." He said.
"I love you too, babe." I said running off. I was supposed to be at the library, studying for Potions, since I was slightly lost in that class. Draco obviously had other plans for me.
As I was turning the corner, I ran smack into Pansy. "Hey." I said breathlessly, as I tried to get rid of any evidence that I had been with Draco. Fixing my hair, clothes, covering my neck, ect.
"What are you up to?" She asked.
"I was headed to the library, actually." I said.
"Oh. Where were you before that?" Pansy asked.
Pansy sighed. "Jo, I know okay." She said.
"You know what?" I asked carefully.
"You think I haven't noticed you sneaking around? Or you running off some place? Or how you always seem to be 'nowhere.' You're seeing someone, aren't you? You slept with this someone the night Draco broke up with me."
This was it. The moment that Pansy confronts me about my relationship with Draco. I just wish he was here too. I wasn't sure I could handle this alone.
I sighed. "Yes, I am."
"Draco." She said. "Does he know?" She asked.
"Huh?" I asked confused.
"Does Draco know you're seeing someone?" Pansy repeated.
I just stared at her. She still hadn't figured it out. It's not like I want her to, but I'm just shocked that she hadn't put the clues together. Everything added up to me and Draco dating behind her back. But she still hadn't gotten to that conclusion, and I sure as hell wasn't helping her get there.
"Umm, n-no, he doesn't know at all. No one does." I answered. "Well, besides you." I added in.
"Really?" She asked. "Who is it?"
"I'm sorry, I can't tell you right now. We're keeping it very quiet right now. It's our little secret." I explained.
Pansy shrugged. "All right then."
"So, what are you up to?" I asked, desperate to change the subject.
"Investigating." She answered.
"Who Draco cheated on me with."
"Oh." I said, hoping I sounded casual.
"Yep, and I think I'm close too. I just know I am." Pansy said smiling in a crazy way.
"Any leads?" I asked, a little nervous.
"A few, actually. Jen Shields, An Monolee, Kay Lanson, and Daphne Greengrass." She said.
"What?" I asked. "Daphne? She's your friend."
"I know, but I can't rule anyone out. I was even suspicious of you for a moment, but I quickly scratched you off my list, because you and Draco are best friends. Nothing would ever happen between you two." She explained.
"Right you are." I chuckled nervously.
"Yeah, so Daphne is on my list until I can cross her off. I sure hope I can. I would hate to find out one of my friends went behind my back and slept with my boyfriend." Pansy smiled.
I smiled back weakly, wanting the ground to swallow me up and never spit me out. Would that be possible?
"Yeah, so, I gotta go." I said, needing to get away from the guilty feeling I currently have.
"Are you gonna go see your boyfriend?" She asked.
"No. Actually, I have some studying to do. I'll see you later." I waved and walked away. When I sat down at a table in the library, I knew there was no way in hell I could focus on Potions. One of my best friends was trying to find out who slept with her boyfriend. It was me. I'm the one she's looking for and she has no fucking clue!
I don't even deserve to have made it this far without her finding out about me and Draco. I just know karma is gonna come and bite me in the ass for this. And it's gonna hurt.
"What's wrong?" Draco sighed in slight frustration. Here he was kissing me with such passion, and I was barely paying attention. He didn't like that.
"Why do you mean?" I asked.
"I mean, here I am, focusing all of my energy on my girlfriend, kissing and touching her, and she's clearly thinking about something else." He explained.
"I'm sorry." I said. "It's nothing." I kissed him deeply, trying to focus only on him. After some time, my mind started wandering again. Somehow Draco noticed, and he groaned.
"Damn it, Jolina, what's going on?!" He demanded. I knew he meant business because he used my full name.
I sighed. "It's Pansy." I said. "She's investigating who you cheated on her with."
"What?" Draco asked. "But-why?"
"She wants to know really bad." I answered.
"I thought she'd be over it by now."
"Draco, you two were together for two years. You can't honestly think she'd be over this in a week." I said in disbelief.
He sighed. "I had hoped she would. Why can't she just get over me?"
"For the same reason I never got over you." I smiled slightly. "You are an amazing, charming guy. A guy like you is impossible to find."
I sat in his lap facing him and kissed him. His hands slid up my thighs to my hips as my hands played with his hair.
"Oh, now you want to pay some attention to me." He whispered, kissing me again.
This day had come so fast, I thought I would have more time. But, no, here it is, the day I've been dreading. Draco and I have been together for exactly two weeks today. I'm a nervous wreck.
I've never had a relationship pass the two week mark, and I'm hoping beyond belief that this is the relationship that will make it. It's the only one I've really ever cared about.
I know, I shouldn't be freaking out. I mean, I love Draco, he loves me, there should be no problem...but there could be. What if Draco is already tired of me? But he didn't seem tired of me last night when we made love. But something could have changed by now.
I've contradicted myself at least a million times today, and it's not even breakfast. I hadn't even really seen Draco today. I snuck out of bed extra early, so I could save myself from:
"Good morning, Jo, love. Sorry to say this, but I'm breaking up with you."
Who wants to wake up to that? I sure don't.
Seeing him at breakfast made my stomache twist in knots. I gave him a weak, nervous smile as I sat down next to him.
"Hey, uh, missed you this morning." Draco whispered, tapping his fingers on the table nervously. He was probably nervous about dumping me! Was he going to do it now, in the midst of all these people so I wouldn't cause a scene?! That's just cruel.
"Um, yeah. I uh, wanted to take a long shower this morning." I said chewing on my lower lip.
"Oh." He said rubbing the back of his head. Another nervous habit of his. I wish he would just hurry up and do it, instead of dragging it out.
"Hey, guys." Blaise said sitting down across from us. He leaned foward and whispered. "Are you two still together?"
"Yes." I answered quickly.
"Of course. Why would you ask that?" Draco said.
Draco must have told Blaise he was breaking up with me today, and Blaise thought he had already done it or something. Why else would he ask that?
So, I guess my relationship with Draco Malfoy will be over by the end of the day, since I can't stay with someone longer than two weeks to save my life.
I can't believe after two amazing weeks, it's over between me and Jo. It's so obvious she wants to break up with me. This morning when I woke up, she wasn't in bed. She was always in bed when I woke up.
And this morning at breakfast, I could tell she was nervous. She was chewing her lip and looking around anxiously. The only reason could be that she was nervous about breaking up with me. I thought she was going to do it right then, so I couldn't really do anything considering we were around a ton of people in the Great Hall.
Then Blaise asked if we were still together. He must know that Jo is breaking up with me, and he thought it was already over. I know by the end of this day, it will be over.
What did I do wrong? I thought that I was different from the other guys she's dated. I thought Jo loved me. But now she was going to break up with me, and go on to the next guy. I guess she's bored of me now.
So, there goes my relationship with Jolina Fieran. Because just like the other guys, I can't keep her for more than two weeks.
Jo and I are sitting in the Room of Requirement like we always do after lessons. But this time something is different. It could be the fact that I'm waiting for her to break up with me, but I can't be fully sure.
We're sitting in silence, looking everywhere but at eachother. Finally, I can't stand it anymore.
"Look if you're gonna break up with me, will you do it already?!" I stared at Jo. We both had said the exact same thing.
"I'm not breaking up with you." Jo said. "Why would you think that?"
I sighed. "I don't know. You always break up with guys after two weeks. I-I was..." I couldn't finish.
Jo grabbed my hand. "You were what?" I shook my head. "Please tell me." She said softly.
"I was scared, all right?" I admitted. "I was scared that I wasn't good enough for you, and that you didn't love me anymore. I thought I was going to lose you."
"Draco, you're not going to lose me." She said. "I love you. And two weeks isn't going to change that. Honestly, I thought you were going to break up with me..."
"What? Why?" I asked surprised.
"Because you said so yourself I can't stay in a relationship to save my life. And I thought you were bored with me."
"Jo, love, I could never get bored of you. I love you so much, and I want this relationship to last forever. It's all I've ever wanted."
She smiled. "Me too."
"Well, then let's make it last." I said leaning in to kiss her.
We stayed up all night, just waiting for the day to be over. When the clock stoke twelve, Jo kissed me passionately.
"You, Draco Malfoy are the first guy I've ever been with longer than two weeks." She whispered, beaming.
"And you, Jolina Fieran are the only girl I want to be with for the rest of my life." I whispered back, meaning every word.
"Well, then the rest of my life sounds pretty damn amazing."
"No, the rest of our life sounds pretty damn amazing."
I didn't care where my life went. As long as Jo was there, I would be happy.
Well, things seem fine and dandy for Jo and Draco. But that won't last very long with Pansy investigating, will it? No, it won't. In the next chapter, things start to fall apart, can Jo and Draco stay together? You'll find out. Thanks for reading. :)
Chapter 13: Everyone Has a Secret
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
A/N: Warning. Lots of POV changes. Enjoy.
After the two week mark, there was no stopping me and Draco. We were going on two months without getting caught. I had never been so happy in my entire life.
And it's all thanks to Draco. Being with him was like nothing else. I loved him so much. He was so good to me, he loved me,and the sex was outrageous. Though, sometimes I wish our relationship wasn't a secret. But then Draco would say something sweet or kiss me, and made me forget all about it.
And Blaise was the best secret keeper ever. Kind of.
"When are you two going to stop sneaking around?" He asked.
"When we finally get caught." Draco said kissing me on the cheek. Blaise always looked highly uncomfortable when Draco and I showed affection towards eachother. I don't know why.
"I can't keep this secret forever, you know." He said.
"You're not really keeping a secret you're just not telling people about us." I said. "Don't be so negative Blaisey."
Blaise smiled at the little nickname I had given him, like he always did.
"I just don't want you guys to be in deep shit." He said.
"We're way passed that." Draco chuckled. "Isn't that right babe?" He asked me.
"Oh yeah. We passed that what? The day I kissed Bret?" I said.
"Don't remind me of that guy. Stupid git."
"But amazing kisser." I smirked.
Oh, yeah?" Draco asked. "Better than this?" He kissed me, and I felt the same pleasure I had when we shared our first kiss. It's amazing he can still make me feel like that.
"Okay, okay, can we focus?" Blaise said.
"Right sorry. What were you saying?" I asked.
"I don't want this to blow up." He said.
"Don't worry, mate, it won't." Draco said.
"Yeah, don't worry so much Blaisey." I said. And again he smiled.
"What's so important that I had to postpone plans with my boyfriend?" I asked Ron.
A smile was plastered on his face. "I asked Hermione out."
"No way!" I exclaimed. "That's great!" I hugged him, and he picked me up with enthusiasm. "So she said yes?"
"Not yet. Neville interupted us, but she says we'll talk later." Ron explained.
"You have to tell me the moments she answers." I said.
"Okay, I know how to reach you." He said. I stood up on my tip toes to give him a peck on the lips, before leaving.
Ron and I had become very close, and still no one knew we were friends. Besides Draco, he was the person I was closest to. He really helped me when Draco and I didn't exactly see eye to eye.
So that's two secret relationships I have. I wonder how long they'll stay secret...
Keeping Draco and Jolina's secret is becoming hard. Especially considering the circumstances. Every day, I had to see them be together, and not say a word to anyone. Some days I wanted to scream out that they were together in front of everyone,but I know I'd regret it.
Draco is my best mate. I can't do that to him. But why couldn't he be with someone else? Anyone but Jolina? That would make things easier. They're breaking rules, and playing with fire. But I suppose I am too with all the secrets I've been keeping.
There's Draco and Jolina's dating secret, Jolina's secret about her being friends with Weasley (she has no idea I know), Pansy's two year long secret, and my own secret.
I feel like I'm going to explode and shout out all the secrets. I expect I'd shout mine first, and then Pansy's. Pansy had done some horrible things. What's worse is I helped her. Only because she knew my secret. I didn't even really benefit from what she did.
I don't even know how she found out my secret. I thought I was careful with it, apparently I wasn't. Next thing I know,Pansy is blackmailing me, saying if I didn't help her, she would tell everyone, so I had to agree.
You're probably wondering what my secret is. If it's that big to where no one can know.
Here it is. I'm in love...with Jolina. Crazy right? But I've always been in love with her. That's why I'm always flirting with her. I've thought about telling her hundreds of times, but with Draco being my best mate, it would be a disaster. Besides, I knew she didn't feel the same way. She wanted Draco. She always has.
I could tell by the way she looked at him, the way she'd light up when he was around. One advantage to helping Pansy was she wanted Draco and if she had him, Jolina couldn't. Didn't that backfire?
When I found out they slept together, I felt sick. When I found out they were in love with eachother, I was hurting really bad. But she was happy and that's all I ever wanted for her. So, I kept the secret. I just hope it's enough.
"Hey, Blaise." Pansy said sitting next to me.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Do you remember when I required your help two years ago?" She asked.
"Yes." I said quietly.
"Well, I require it again. Now tell me, who is your precious little Jolina dating?"
"Jolina has a boyfriend?" I asked, hoping I sounded convincing.
"She really is keeping it a secret. Forget I said anything about that. Moving on. Who did Draco cheat on me with?"
"I don't know." I said firmly, praying she couldn't see through my lie.
"He didn't tell you?" She asked. I shook my head.
Pansy sighed. "There's too many secrets between the four of us. It's a miracle we're still friends." I completely agreed with her.
"Well, you know nothing." She said getting up. "But if you find something out, you'll tell me, won't you?"
"Of course." I answered, and she walked away.
She was right there were too many secrets. I had to tell Jolina the truth. Luckily just as I was thinking that, she was coming down the stairs.
"Can we talk,Jolina?" I asked.
"Um, I'm running late." She said.
"Well, what about tonight?" I suggested.
"Sure." She smiled. Merlin, was her smile amazing!
"Just don't tell Draco." I said.
"Why?" She asked.
"Just please don't." I repeated.
"All right, Blaisey." She said walking away. I loved it when she called me Blaisey.
Blaise was of no help whatsoever. I thought he would have some information on what Draco and Jolina are up to, but he has none. He's not as useful as he was two years ago.
With the rate I'm going, I'm not going to find out what's going on until we're in seventh year, and by then, I won't give a fuck anymore. This is upseting.
A few minutes after talking to Blaise, I walk out of the common room disappointed. Just as I do, I see Jolina turning a corner. I decided to follow her. Maybe I'd find out who her mystery boyfriend is. I think I will, she seems to be acting secretive.
Finally, she stops in some deserted corridor. I put my hand over my mouth to keep from gasping. Waiting for Jolina is Ron Weasley! No wonder she kept it a secret.
I watch as they kiss eachother quickly. Unfortunately, I can't hear what they're saying. There wasn't much of an echo, so I just watch. Weasley takes her hands in his and says something, and she squeals and throws her arms around his neck.
"I can't believe it!" She exclaimed loudly. "I'm so happy!" Aww, he made her happy! I could tell she loved being with him, and he felt the same way. I decided to keep this to myself, she looks too ecstatic.
"I hoped you would." Weasley said.
I couldn't believe they were together, but they did look kind of cute.
"So, tomorrow, Hogsmeade?" Jolina asked.
"Yep." He said.
"Okay, I should go." She said.
"All right." He said looking as though he didn't want to leave her. How sweet.
They hugged tightly, and kissed again before going their seperate ways.
One secret down, on to go.
My luck is great today. I'm now following Draco, who will hopfully lead me to the slut that stole him from me. I lost him for a moment, but then I found him in a hallway, talking to Jolina.
Great. A dead end. Or maybe not. What if used Jolina's secret to find out Draco's? I could tell him I know who Jolina is dating, and I'll tell him if he tells me who cheated on me with. But I won't really tell him she's dating Weasley. I don't want to see her happiness wrecked by Draco. Perfect!
I focus back on Draco and Jolina and I'm astounded to see Draco leaning in to kiss Jolina. I watch as she doesn't push him away, but kissed him back. What the fuck is going on?! Jolina is supposed to b dating Weasley, not Draco!
The little slut! But I can't fully blame her. I know it was Draco who persued this relationship. Jolina would never do something like that.
They pulled away smiling. "So, are we still on for tonight?" Draco asked.
"Um, I kind of have plans." Jolina replied.
"With who? Your other boyfriend?" So he knew she had another boyfriend, but he didn't know.
"How did you know?" She laughed.
"Come on, tell me who it is." Draco said.
"No one important."
"Then cancel the plans. I want to be with you tonight." He begged.
Now I understood what was going on. Draco was trying to get Jolina to leave her boyfriend (Weasley) so they could be together. She didn't know who to choose though.
"I'll try." She said.
"Okay." He kissed her again. I noticed that he kissed her with more passion that he ever kissed me with. I was disgusted. My ex and my best friend! But I knew it wasn't Jolina's fault. I knew after Draco was bored with the girl he cheated on me with, he set his sights on Jolina. I knew how persuasive Draco could be. How good he could make a girl feel.
Which is why I'm going to help Jolina by making Draco end things with her, so she could be with Weasley. I had a great plan.
I'm brought back to reality by a giggle. Draco's lips are on Jolina's neck, doing Merlin knows what. Her eyes are closed in what seems to be pure pleasure. I gape as Draco's hands travel all over her body, touching her in a way he never touched me.
Jolina tried to push him away, but it was like he was stuck to her. She tried again, and he reluctantly let go.
"Let's save that for tonight." She whispered.
"Oh fuck it." He said. "Let's do right here."
Oh, Merlin! They're fucking eachother?! Of course they are! They're the most sex craved fifth years.
"I wish." She laughed.
"Then let's do it." Draco said sliding his hands up her thighs.
I swear if they have sex in this hallway, I'll scream!
"No." Jolina said firmly. "But we will tonight."
"I don't know if I can wait that long." He whispered.
"Well, you'll have to. Let's get out of here." She said. They shared another passionate kiss.
"I love you." Draco said softly.
"I love you too." Jolina replied. They walked away holding hands.
Something isn't right. Jo is keeping secrets from me. She won't tell me who she has plans with tonight. I know I shouldn't be worried, but I am. What if she really did have some other boyfriend I don't know about? I know she laughed about it when I brought it up, but what if she was just covering something up?
No. She's not. Jo loves me, and only me. I was good to her, she didn't need anyone else. The sex was amazing, she didn't want it from some other guy. Right?
I was walking to the common room when Pansy stopped me. "Can we talk?" She asked.
"Sure." I said. Maybe she was finally over me.
I followed her up to her room she grabbed two cups from her nightstand and handed one to me as we sat down.
"Tell me something." She started. "How long did you think you and Jolina could sneak around?"
I gaped at her. What?! How did she find out?! "I-I..."
She shook her head. "How long has this been going on?" She asked.
My mouth was so dry, and I was about to take a sip from the cup when I relaized there could be Veritiserum in it. So I didn't drink it. "F-for awhile." I stuttered.
"All right, then. I have a proposal for you." Pansy said very calmly. "I will tell you who Jolina is meeting tonight, if you tell me everything."
I thought for a moment. Well, she already knew about me and Jo. And if didn't take a drink, I could twist the story. I needed to know who she was meeting.
"Okay." I said. "After I got bored with the girl I cheated on you with-"
"Who was she?" Pansy asked.
"Um, I'm kind of embarassed to say." I lied.
"Was she a Gyffindor?!"
"Uh, yeah." I said quickly.
She gave me a disgusted look. "Don't tell me who, I don't want to know. Continue."
"Okay, well, after that, I started seeing Jo differently, as way more than a friend. I wanted her really bad. One night, we were in my room, and I kissed her. Then things got intense and we..."
"Had sex." Pansy finished for me.
"Yeah." I said. "After that, I continued to crave her. We've been seeing eachother ever since."
"Okay." She said quietly. I felt sort of bad for telling her.
Feeling like it was safe to, I took a drink. "I'm sorry that I'm seeing your best friend." I said.
"What happened to us, Draco?" Pansy asked.
"I don't know." I said taking another drink and feeling tingly all of a sudden. "I wanted something different."
"But we were so good together."
"Yeah, we were." I agreed. I was feeling drawn to Pansy, and I wasn't sure why.
"We really had something special." She continued. She moved closer. For some reason, I wanted her to be even closer. I took another sip. Now I wanted to touch her. What was happening?!
"Don't you miss us?" She asked leaning in to kiss me hard on the mouth. I wanted to push her away, but I couldn't. Instead I kissed her back, putting my hands on her. I wanted to stop, I really did. I kept thinking of Jo. What she would say when she found out about this. But I still couldn't stop. And I knew it was because of what Pansy put in my drink.
Do I feel bad about spiking Draco's drink? Kind of. But it was the only way my plan could work. I only wished it was of Draco's own choice that he had sex with me. It was still enjoyable, but I knew his mind was on Jolina the whole time, and that the sex meant nothing to him.
Oh, well, I'll get over it. By the time the sex was ending, I knew the potion making Draco uncontrollably attracted to me was wearing off. After a few minutes of just lying there, Draco suddenly bolts up.
"What have I done?!" He asked before quickly getting dressed. He looked paler than usual. I got dressed also.
"What am I gonna do about Jo?" He asked.
"Dump her." I said.
Draco looked bewildered. "No."
"I'll tell her you cheated with me." I threatened.
"No, I will!" He said quickly. "She'll understand. I wasn't acting on my own accord. She'll forgive me.
"Draco, if you don't dump Jolina, I will tell everyone that you've been sneaking around with eachother behind my back. That will ruin Jolina's life. Everyone will hate her and they'll think she's a boyfriend stealing slut. Then she'll leave you to try to make things right,you know she will. But she will still be shunned by everyone. Is that what you want for her?" I asked.
Draco froze. I knew I had him. He'd never let anything like that happen to his precious Jolina.
"Fine." He said sadly. "I'll dump her."
"Not only that, but you will be my boyfriend again. If you tell Jolina that I'm making you do this,I'll tell everyone, understand?"
"Yes." He whispered.
"All right, run along. Enjoy your last night with her." I said. "I want you two over before we go to Hogsmeade."
Draco nodded, and walked out of the room numbly. I wish I didn't have to do this, but I told him he would pay...
A/N: So, crazy chapter, right? Will Draco follow through on dumping Jo? If he does, how will Jo take it? All in the next chapter. Thanks for reading!
Chapter 14: Being Sorry
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
I had decided to cancel my plans with Blaise. I didn't want Draco to think I was keeping things from him, and he said he really wanted to be with me tonight, so my choice was clear.
Blaise was a little upset, but he said we could talk about whatever it was another time
So, after dinner, I went to the Room of Requirement,thinking Draco would be there. He wasn't. I waited five minutes, he didn't show. Ten minutes, no sign of him.
An hour and a half later, when I was reduced to reading because I was so bored, Draco finally walked in.
"Hey." I said.
"Hey." He replied. His voice was hollow and he was very pale.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Nothing, I don't feel so well." He answered.
"Oh, well then we should go straight to bed." I said, pulling the covers back.
"No." He said. "I don't want to."
"What do you want then?" I asked, confused.
"You." Draco answered. "I-I just want to make love to you."
"But Draco, if you don't feel well we shouldn't-"
Draco kissed me, interupting me. He kissed me so hard, it hurt a little.
He laid me gently on the bed, crawling on top of me. His hand pushed my shirt up my stomache. "Please let me make love to you." He whispered desperately.
There was no way I could say no. "Okay." I whispered. Every movement and sound made was so much more different than any other time. It didn't seem like Draco wanted to make love, it was as if he needed to make love, like it was the one thing that had to happen tonight.
There was so much passion and desperation, it was as though it would be our last time together like this.
The next morning I woke up alone. I got out of bed, thinking about the night before. It was the best sex we had ever had. I wondered if we could top it tonight.
I got in the shower, and then got dressed, ready for my day at Hogsmeade with Draco. I walked out of the Room of Requirement to see Draco coming towards me. He still didn't look very well.
"Morning!" I said brightly as I kissed him.
"Morning." He mumbled.
"So, I was thinking we'd have lunch at The Three Broomsticks. And we have to go to Zonkos-"
"Jo." He said interupting me.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"W-we have to s-stop sneaking around." He stuttered.
"You want to tell everyone about us?" I asked surprised.
"I didn't mean-that's not what I meant...what I'm trying to say is...we can't be together anymore."
"What do you mean? I-I don't understand." I said, suddenly breathing heavily.
"I'm breaking up with you." He said in his hollow voice.
My throat felt like it was closing up. I couldn't breathe. "Why?" I managed to choke out.
"Um, it's Pansy. I'm getting back with her." He replied.
"Why?!" I repeated. "Is it because she's prettier than me? Or smarter, or more fun? Is she better kisser, or better at sex? What is it?!" Apparently being broken up with brings out my insecurities.
"I uh...I still love her." Draco avoided eye contact.
"Bullshit!" I yelled. "That can't be true after everything between us!"
"It is true." He said. "Last night we were talking, and things, well they got kind of intense, and one thing lead to another and...we had sex."
The tears filling my eyes started spilling down my face. "No." I said. "That can't be, you were with me last-" I remembered him showing up late. "You had sex with her before you came here and made love to me?!" I screamed.
Draco flinched a little. "Yes. But I didn't mean to. I couldn't control myself."
"I'd rather not hear about your uncontrollable attraction to her." I said.
"I'm so sorry, Jo, I never intended for this to happen." He said guiltily.
"What, you never intended of falling out of love with me in one night?!" I asked.
"No, I never meant to hurt you. That's the last thing I wanted to do." He said regretfully.
"You should have thought about that before you cheated on me!" I said wishing the tears would stop falling, but that didn't seem likely.
"Please, Jo, I'm sorry." Draco pleaded.
"You're sorry?!" I shouted. "No, I'm sorry! I'm sorry I let myself trust you!"
"Will you just-"
"No!" I said. "I won't do anything! You know what I don't understand? Why you persued this relationship. Why did you pretend to love me?" I asked.
"I wasn't pretending! I do love you." He insisted.
"But you love her more?!"
He didn't answer. He looked as though he was going to be sick. I hoped he would be. He deserved it. After everything he told me, he said he wanted this forever. Now, after only two months, it's over.
"Please don't be mad." He begged. "Don't hate me."
"Forgive me for being just a little pissed that forever is over in two months. Do you remember when you said you wanted this forever? Was that a lie?" I asked coldly.
Draco shook his head. "I'm sorry." He whispered. I shook my head, so angry with him. But not only that, I was heart broken. I thought about what Ron said about Draco that first time we talked. He was so right.
"You're not sorry." I said. "To be sorry, you'd have feelings and be human. But you're not even human, Draco. You're just the lovliest idea of one. You don't care about anything or anyone but yourself."
"No." He cried. "Don't say that please." He reached out for me, and I backed away.
"Don't touch me." I said. "Never touch me again." My voice broke.
"I'm so so sorry." He choked out.
"I'm sorry I ever loved you." I said before turning and running away. He calls for me, but I keep running, trying to block out his voice.
I don't exactly know where I'm going as I run, but my body does. I stop in an empty hallway, and I'm surprised to see him here. His red hair is visible from the other side where I am. His head is in his hands.
I walk slowly over to him,stopping in front of him. He looks up, he realizes it's me and that I'm crying.
"Jolina, what's wrong?" He asked alarmed.
I shook my head, unable to answer. I had completely lost it by now. He wrapped his arms around me, comforting me. Then we were walking. I had no idea where, I just let him lead me.
Before I know it, I'm back in the Room of Requirement, sitting on a couch, crying my eyes out. Twenty minutes later, I'm sniffing, with tissued scattered all around me, having just told Ron everything.
"Oh, Jolina I'm sorry." He said.
"I feel so disgusting and used." I cried. "I thought he really loved me. But it was all a lie." Then I realized that Ron was here with me instead of in Hogsmeade with Granger.
"What happened to you and Granger?" I asked.
He sighed. "I got some bad news of my own this morning." He said. "Hermione and Harry are together."
"What?!" I asked.
"They've been together for awhile, they just didn't know how to tell me. They decided today was a great time to tell me though." Ron sounded so sad. "I thought me and Hermione had something special, but I guess it's always been Harry."
I shook my head, not knowing what to say to comfort him. "Today is the worst day of my life." I said.
"Join the club." Ron said. "We've got T-shirts."
Ron and I had decided we were not going to sulk over Draco and Granger. So we got ourselves some firewhiskey and chocolate, and celebrated our sadness.
"You wanna know somethin' Jolina?" Ron slurred. "Th-they don't deserve us! We we're too good for them."
My drunk high pitched laugh echoed through the room. "You so right, Ron! Wh-who needs 'em?!" I shouted.
"Not me!" He exclaimed.
"Me either." I said.
"Hey, Jolina." Ron said.
"What?" I hiccuped
"Nothin'." He chuckled.
"Oh. Hehe. Hey Ron?" I asked.
"Yeah?" He asked.
"D-don't call me Jolina anymore. It has 'Jo' in it, and that reminds me of him. C-call me something else."
"Uhh, okay." He thought for a moment. "How about Lina? That's pretty."
"Oooh, Lina. I like that!" I smiled.
"Good." He said smiling back.
We spent the whole day there, wallowing in self pity. And shouting incoherent things. Ron looked down at his watch.
"Lina, we should go eat dinner." He said as he struggled to find his balance as he stood.
"I'm already eating." I said shoving another piece of chocolate in my mouth.
"We need real food, silly!" He said.
A goblet appeared on the table, Ron took a long drink from it. Suddenly, he was sober as he was this morning. "Your turn, Lina." He said walking over to me.
"No." I said as he reached me. He tried to force it in my mouth, and I pushed it away, spilling some on the ground.
"Lina!" Ron said. "Just take a sip."
"No." I whined. He tackled me to the floor, careful not to spill the little what was still in the goblet. I tried fighting him off, but I was drunk and he was sober. Guess who won that fight.
Finally, he had me pinned down, forcing the liquid in my mouth. "Mmm, that tastes good." I said.
He rolled his eyes, and got off of me. I got up too, only slightly more sober. I had spilled most of it on the ground.
"Now let's go." He said.
"No!" I groaned. But he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the Great Hall. "I don't want to go!" I said when we were in front of the doors.
"Come on. The only way to get over Malfoy is to face him. Remember we said he wasn't good enough? Go in there and prove it."
I sighed, hating him for being right. "Okay."
"I'd walk in with you, but you know I can't..." He said.
"I know." I said. "Am I going first?"
"Yes. I don't trust you to go last. I know how you are." Ron smiled.
I smiled back, and pushed the door open, walking in. I made my way to the Slytherin table, sitting across from Pansy and Draco. I managed to swallow my tears at the sight of them together again.
"Jolina, where have you been?" Pansy asked.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." I said.
She shrugged. "I might." What the hell does that mean?
"So, you didn't go to Hogsmeade?" Blaise asked.
"Nope." I said.
"That's weird. Neither did Weasley." Pansy said.
"Which one?" I asked, of course knowing.
"Ronald." She answered.
I giggled, and then hiccuped. "That is weird!"
Draco looked at me for the first time. "Jo, are you drunk?!" He asked.
"No." I said. They all stared at me. "Okay, yes. But not as drunk as I was five minutes ago."
"Why were you drinking?" Draco demanded.
"Wouldn't you like to know." I spat at him.
He looked hurt and guilty. Excellent.
"Well, in your absence, Draco and I got back together!" Pansy said kissing his cheek. The same cheek I'd kissed so many times.
"Isn't that lovely!" I said in fake happiness that everyone but Pansy caught on to.
Draco avoided eye contact with me, looking uncomfortable and uneasy, like he knew a secret. Blaise cleared his throat awkwardly, and then gave me a sympathetic look. Right now apart of me wished I had met with him, instead of making love to Draco.
"I know!" Pansy squealed, oblivious to everything. She had no idea that she had once again taken what was mine. The only thing I had ever truly wanted. My heart was shattered because of her. But I couldn't even hate her, because she didn't know.
"I'm happy for you guys." I said, letting my fake happiness falter. Too bad I didn't mean it one bit.
A few weeks passed, and I still couldn't make myself happy for them. I couldn't make myself happy for anything actually. I also couldn't fall out of love with Draco, no matter how much I saw him with Pansy. The only time I smiled anymore was with Ron.
"I wish there was a way I could get Draco back." I said.
"You actually want him back after that?" Ron asked.
"I mean get him back, like revenge." I clarified, although, honestly I still wanted to be with him.
"Now you're talking." He said.
"But how do I do it?" I asked.
Ron thought for a moment. "Okay, think about it. What's the one thing you've never done in a relationship?"
"Um, I don't know..."
"Made it last more than two weeks." Ron said. "So you start dating a guy, and make it last more than two weeks, Malfoy is sure to be pissed."
"But I already last more than two weeks with Draco." I pointed out.
"Yes, but who actually knows that?" He asked, a sly grin spreading across his face.
"No one." I answered, laughing. "Oh, Ron this is perfect. Now all I need is the perfect guy."
"It needs to be someone who knows about the plan, who's willing to be used for the greater good."
No one came to mind...except...
I looked at Ron. "What?" He asked. I raised my eyebrows. "No." He said.
"Please!" I said. "You can get back at Granger and Potter with this. They hate me, it will piss them off to no end. Please."
He looked at me for a second thinking it over. I pouted. "All right, fine." He said.
"Thank you!" I exclaimed, hugging him.
"I believe you have to ask me something." Ron said, smirking.
I rolled my eyes. "Ron, will you be my boyfriend?" I asked.
"Why,yes, Lina, I would love to."
Things are going to get interesting...
A/N: So it's over between Jo and Draco. Please don't hate me. Hate Pansy. How will Draco handle Jo and Ron being "together"? You'll find out. Thanks for reading! :)
Chapter 15: From 'Jo' to 'Lina'
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
Ron and I stood in front of the giant oak doors of the Great Hall.
"I can't do this." He said pulling me off to the side. "Lina, I can't do this."
"Ron, yes, you can." I said. "We've spent all weekend practicing kissing and hand holding, and everything, you can do this."
"No I can't!"
"Yes, you can!"
"Yes!" I gave him a slap across the face. "We good here?" I asked.
"Um, yeah. Sorry, just last minute jitters, you know." Ron said nodding.
"You sure?" I asked.
"Yeah." He answered.
"All right, get ready to piss off Potter and Granger, and break all the rules." I said.
"And you get ready to get back at Malfoy and play with fire." He said, grabbing my hand.
We once again approached the giant oak doors. This time, we pushed them open and walked in the Great Hall, hand in hand. It took only a second for the whispering to begin, and for it to spread like wild fire.
"Weasley and Fieran?!"
"What is she thinking?"
"What is he thinking?"
"How can Weasley get in her pants, and I can't?"
I smiled, looking at Ron, who returned the smile, looking satisfied. We reached the Gryffindor table.
"I will see you after breakfast." I said sweetly.
"I'll miss you." He said. I smiled as Ron leaned in to kiss me. After practicing all weekend, kissing Ron didn't even feel a little awkward. It felt like second nature.
We pulled away about a minute later, and I turned away smiling as I walked to the Slytherin table, receiving many stares. I sat down in my usual spot. I noticed Pansy wasn't there yet, but Draco and Blaise were. Both had shocked looks on their faces.
"What the fuck is going on, Jo?" Draco asked, looking about ready to explode.
"What do you mean?" I asked innocently.
"You're dating Weasley?" He asked.
"Yes. What's wrong with that?"
"He's a Gryffindor, he's a blood traitor,and he's scum." Draco said disgusted.
"No, he's sweet, good to me, and my boyfriend. I'd appreciate it if you didn't say things like that about him." I said.
"I'd appreciate it if you stopped dating him." He replied.
"Well, that's too bad. You no longer have a say in who I date, so stay out of my love life, I don't want you in it." I said coldly.
"If you think he can love you the way I do-"
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize cheating was apart of love." I interupted.
Blaise looked uncomfortable, I could tell he wanted this conversation to be over. He got his wish, Pansy sat down.
"Hey." She kissed Draco, which still was like a stab in the stomache. "What did I miss?"
"Well, Jo is dating that filthy blood traitor, Ron Weasley." Draco said with malice.
"Really?" Pansy asked. "That's nice."
"What?!" Draco, Blaise, and I asked.
"If Jolina wants to date Weasley, who are we to stop her?" She shrugged.
"Thank you, Pansy." I said, smirking at Draco.
Draco looked at her wildly, as we continued eating. As breakfast came to an end, Pansy asked. "You guys ready?"
Before anyone could answer, Ron was coming over to us. "Ready to go, Lina?" He asked smiling.
"Who the hell is Lina?" Draco asked.
"Um me." I said in an obvious tone, as I got up and kissed Ron. "I'll catch up with you guys in class, yeah?"
Ron and I walked away. I could have sworn I heard Draco whisper "Jo."
"So how did Potter and Granger take it?" I asked as Ron and I walked.
He grinned. "Horribly. They asked if I was crazy, I told them the only crazy I was was crazy about you."
I laughed. "You didn't!"
"I sure did." He said looking pleased with himself. "How did the Slytherihns take it?"
"You should have seen their faces!" I said with glee. "Oh, Draco was so pissed, and Blaise was just plain shocked. But Pansy, she was all right with it."
"Really?" He asked in disbelief.
"Yeah. She said I should date whoever I want to. You should have seen Draco's face after that. Priceless."
"I've got to admit Lina, I wasn't sure this plan would work, but it's only after breakfast, and it's going fantastically." Ron said.
"Yeah, it is." I agreed. "But now we've really got to convince people this is real. We've got to take it to the next level. Warning: it involves pet names, and a lot of snogging. We have to be disgustingly cute."
"Can I tell you something, Lina?" He asked.
"Of course, baby, you can tell me anything." I said sweetly. He looked at me surprised. "What, we need practice before we put on a show."
"Right. Anyways, I've always been...jealous of your relationships."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I mean, the way you and all of your boyfriends act with eachother. How you guys are like inseperable, and the way you look at eachother and kiss and stuff. I've always wanted that with someone." Ron explained.
"Well, you're about to have that with me. Even if it's not exactly real." I said squeezing his hand.
We reached the Potions classroom, where everyone was waiting for Professor Snape to show up. I could see Draco and Blaise huddled together, and Pansy talking to some Slytherin girls. Everyone kept glancing at me and Ron.
"Let's do this." I whispered as I let go of his hand and grasped the front of his robes, pulling him down to kiss me.
"You're so beautiful." He whispered, just loud enough for everyone to hear, as he brushed my hair out of my face.
"Aww, baby,you're so sweet." I cooed.
"Not as sweet as your lips." He said kissing me again. "Mmm." Ron said as he pulled away. "You taste really good."
"Really?" I asked. "Like what?"
"Wait." He kissed me again. "I want to say apples, but maybe apricots, hold on." Another kiss. "No, definitely apples."
"Hmm, interesting." I said.
"Yes, it is." He replied. "Want to know something?" He asked.
"Sure." I said. It seemed like everyone around us also wanted to know something, considering they were straining to hear what we were saying.
"I love apples." He said. And I found myself, yet again in a passionate kiss with Ron. I'd be surprised if people didn't believe we were together, because I myself was starting to believe it.
"Ms. Fieran, Mr. Weasley, I'm only going to tell you once to stop with this inappropriate behavior of eating eachother's faces in my presense." Snape's cold voice said, breaking us apart.
"Sorry, sir." I said smiling. "I can't help myself around him."
"Well, then I suggest you stay far away from him in my classroom." Snape said turning and stalking into the classroom.
I smiled up at Ron, kissing him. "We'll talk after class." I said.
"We sure will babe." He said giving me a tap on my bum as I walked away.
"Ron!" I said smiling. He just winked.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Blaise restraining Draco, who looked like he was about to hex Ron into oblivion.
"What exactly are you playing at?" Draco whispered to me.
"What are you talking about?" I asked confused.
"I'm talking about you dating Weasley." He said.
"We discussed this at breakfast. My love life is none of your business. Stay. Out. Of. It." I said forcefully.
"Come on, Jo." He said. "Don't you think you moved on kind of fast?"
"Not nearly as fast as you did." I said cooly. "And forgive me for finding someone who cares about me."
"I do care about you." He said. "And I don't like seeing you with him.
"Why do you care what I do anyways?" I asked. "You got what you wanted. You broke up with me, and got Pansy back, and you and me are still friends, or whatever."
"I don't feel like we are friends anymore." He replied quietly.
"Well, Draco, that's what happens when you betray someone's trust. You have to earn it back. You don't just get it back because." I said.
He sighed. "Jo, you're my best friend and I just want to protect you from getting hurt."
"You should have protected me from yourself." I said, forcing the tears in my eyes back. "No one has hurt me more than you, and I'm not ever giving anyone a chance to. So you have nothing to worry about."
"I have to worry about losing you." He whispered, putting his hand over mine. Oh no, not this.
I let my eyes fall to the ground so I didn't have to look at him. "You can't lose me. You don't have me, and that was your choice, not mine."
I pulled my hand from under his and took a shaky breath. "You caused this to happen. Deal with it." I said shrugging.
"I missed you, Lina." Ron said walking over to me at the end of class.
"I missed you too, babe." I said taking his hand in mine.
"So, I was thinking we take lunch out near the Black Lake. Have a little picnic." He suggested.
"That sounds fantastic." I said.
Two weeks later, Ron and I still were 'together". And on the morning of our two week anniversary, I received a huge parcel in the mail.
"Who's that from?" Pansy asked.
"No, idea, let me read the card." I said. "My dearest Lina. It's from Ron!"
I opened it to see beautiful flowers. "Aww, my favorite flowers!" I said.
"Pink roses?" Draco asked confidently.
I shook my head. "Lavender roses." I said uncomfortably. He looked confused and lost. I had recently fallen in love with lavender roses, pink used to be my favorite, but not anymore.
"Oh, I thought it had always been pink roses." Draco said quietly.
I caught Ron's eye. He smiled and then winked. I smiled back.
"Are you going to break up with him?" Draco asked.
"No." I said smiling.
"What?" Blaise asked. "B-but it's been two weeks."
"I know, but I really like him, and I don't want to break up. Things are amazing between us." I felt like Ron and I were seriously in a relationship. I thought of him as my boyfriend, even when others weren't around. I didn't feel like we were even pretending.
"Oh, leave her alone." Pansy said. "I've got to go talk to Flitwick, see you guys in class." She kissed Draco and waved at me and Blaise.
"Since when are your favorite flowers lavender roses?" Draco asked. "I didn't even know they existed."
"You don't know everything about me." I said trying to sound casual.
"I used to before you started dating Weasley." He said.
"Things have changed since then." I said.
"No, you've changed since then. What happened to that girl I was dating?" He asked quietly.
"You want to know what happened?" I asked. "You destroyed her. You broke her heart so much she couldn't bear to be that girl anymore. The girl you dated, she's gone."
I had never seen Draco so filled with regret and sadness. "But you're supposed to be my Jo." He whispered.
"Well, now I'm Ron's Lina." I replied. "I'm not your girl anymore."
Draco opened his mouth to reply, but was interupted.
"Did you like the flowers, Lina?" Ron asked.
"I loved them!" I gushed. "They're beautiful."
"So is the girl in front of me." He said.
I smiled. "You ready to get out of here?" I asked.
"Yep." He replied. He held out his hand and I took it, and with my other hand grabbed the flowers.
When we got outside of the Great Hall, I kissed him.
"There's no one out here, Lina." He smiled.
I shrugged smirking. "So what?" I kissed him again, and he kissed me back without question.
I know our relationship is supposed to be fake, but I didn't have to fake anything at all when I was with him.
A/N: Hi. So, there are only a few chapters left of this story, in which these questions will be answered. Are Ron and Jo (Lina) falling for eachother? Will Draco find some way to win Jo back? What is Pansy's big secret? How long can Blaise keep all the secrets? Answers will be revealed very soon, I'm hoping on another speedy update. Thanks for reading! :)
Chapter 16: One More Chance
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
I don't understand how my life became so fucking messed up. I was forced to break up with the girl I'm deeply in love with and now I was in a relationship that I didn't even want to be in. To top that off, Jo was now with Weasley.
I wish things didn't have to be like this, but I could never live with myself if Jo was shunned because I had decided to pursue a relationship with her behind Pansy's back. I don't regret being with Jo at all though. It was worth it even though I only had two months with her. Those were the best two months of my entire life.
I wonder how long I'll be forced to live my life without having Jo be mine. Probably until after we leave Hogwarts, after that who will care that we snuck behind Pansy's back? No one. But by then, Jo might move on, and I'd just be 'that one guy she used to date'.
I don't want to be that guy. I want to be that guy that she marries. I meant it when I said forever. I would never be in love with anyone else. But Jo doesn't believe me at all. She thinks my love for her is a lie, but it's the most truthful thing about me.
And I can't tell her that Pansy forced me to break up with her, because that wouldn't help anything. I already destroyed the girl she was, I can't destroy her life too.
I glared as I watched Weasley touch Jo's face softly, and then bring her in for a kiss. What I hate more than him kissing her, is her kissing him back, and actually seeming to enjoy it. I already hate seeing her with other guys, but I absoluetly loathe on every level seeing her with him of all people.
I hate how he makes her smile and laugh and blush and happy. I used to do that. I used to be able to make her smile without saying a single word, I made her laugh with my slight jealousy, I made her blush when I said she was beautiful, and I made her happy every moment we were together. I couldn't haved loved her better if I tried.
Now apparently she has Weasley for all of that. She had replaced me like I was a pair of old trainers or something. Like I was nothing special. Like she never even loved me.
"Glaring at them won't make them stop." Blaise said.
I sighed. "I know, but it makes me feel better." I replied.
"Still can't believe Pansy found out and made you break up with her." He said shaking his head.
I had told Blaise about that night with Pansy. Although he kept saying he couldn't believe it, I got a strange feeling that he could. Like Pansy had done something like this before. But I always shook it off.
"Me either. It was like one moment I was with Jo, and life was like a dream and the next moment, everything turned into a nightmare. Breaking up with her was the hardest thing I ever had to do." I rambled on.
Blaise said nothing, and I didn't realize it was because Pansy was approaching us. I refrained from rolling my eyes. I hated her so much. She was holding me as a prisoner, forcing me to like her, pretending that we loved eachother again. It was torture. I hated her so much I didn't even have sex with her. We slept together only once since we got back 'together'.
Thank Merlin for that too. No matter how much of a guy I am, I don't want to have sex with her.
She grinned when she reached us, and gave me a quick peck on the lips. I resisted the urge to wipe my lips with my hand. "What are you guys doing?" She asked.
"Watching Jolina and Weasley angrily." Blaise answered. He's such an idiot sometimes, I swear.
Pansy looked over in their direction. "I think they look cute together." She said as Jo laughed at something Weasley whispered in her ear.
"I don't." Blaise and I said in unison. I wondered why it bothered Blaise so much that Jo was with Weasley. I had noticed he glared an awful lot too.
"Well, that doesn't surprise me." Pansy said. There was something about her tone that suggested that she knew something we didn't.
Blaise just stared at her as she continued. "But you guys should be happy for Jolina. She's been through a lot of guys and apparently Ron is the one. I'm glad she's happy."
Blaise scoffed and stalked away. "What's wrong with him?" I asked.
Pansy shrugged. "He must really not like them together." She said.
"I can't say I don't feel the same way." I said.
She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Don't tell me you still want Jolina." She said.
"I never said that."
"Well, you're sure as hell acting like it." She growled.
I said nothing. "Look, clearly she's over you. She's with Weasley like she's supposed to be. Don't screw up her happiness." Pansy said.
"What do you know about her happiness? He doesn't make her happy, I do. I was what made her happy every day, not him!" I protested angrily.
She laughed. "Oh, Draco, you're so clueless!" She said. "I can't believe you still haven't figured it out."
"Figured what out?" I asked in frustration.
"That Jolina was seeing Ron while you were sneaking around." Pansy said.
I just stared at her. "You're a liar." I said. "Jo only wanted me, we were in love. She wasn't seeing Weasley too." I said, though I did have some doubt.
"Think about it Draco. The night I found out about you two, Jolina said she was going to meet someone, but she wouldn't tell you who. It was Ron."
I paused thinking it over. I remember how she laughed when I asked if she had some other boyfriend. Had it been a nervous laugh? No, she wasn't cheating.
She was so upset when I broke up with her. You can't fake that kind of thing...can you?
How was it possible that I loved being with Ron so much after my heart got broken? It seems impossible to feel this way, so why do I feel it? Why do I miss him when I'm not with him? Why do I get that shock when he intertwines his fingers with mine? Why do I become breathless when he kisses me?
I don't know. Could it be I was suddenly really falling for him? Did all this pretending suddenly become real? I think so. How else can I explain why we're holding hands and kissing right now, even though no one is around?
"Ron?" I asked.
"Yeah?" He asked.
"I think we should go to the Room of Requirement and talk about some things." I said.
"I was thinking the exact same thing." He grinned, as he kissed me. He wrapped his arms around me and picked me up. Suddenly we heard an "Ahem." From behind us.
We pulled apart, and Ron put me down. Standing there was Draco, who surprisingly didn't look mad, but worried or anxious.
"Jo, I really need to talk to you...alone." He said, giving Ron a glance.
I sighed. I thought about saying no, but he looked a little unbalanced and he looked like he really needed to talk. I turned to Ron.
"Hey, why don't you head over there, I'll meet you okay?" I said.
He nodded and kissed me on the cheek before leaving me and Draco alone.
"Were you seeing Weasley while you and I were together?" He asked.
I looked at him as though he had lost it. "Excuse me?" I asked.
"Were you and Weasley together while you were dating me?" Draco asked.
"No!" I said.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"Very. Just because you cheat doesn't mean everyone else does. I loved you too much to do that." I said quietly.
He sighed. "I know. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you of that, it's just...well, Pansy told me you had been seeing Weasley longer than you've been letting on."
I raised my eyebrows. "I have not." I said.
"She told me she saw you together. Said you guys were kissing and hugging." He continued.
I shook my head. "We were friends." I admitted. "We've been friends since way back when we were paired together for prefect duties."
"You were associating with him and you didn't tell me?" Draco asked.
"Well I knew you'd act like this." I said defensively.
He ran his fingers through his hair. "You know what, that doesn't matter anyways."
"And what does?" I asked confused.
"Us." He said, taking my hand. I tried to protest, but he wouldn't let me. "Please, just let me speak. I can't do this anymore. I can't live without you being mine. I know I messed up big time. But please, can I have one more chance? Could we try one more time? I'll be better. No more mistakes." He pleaded.
I wanted to say yes, I really did. But I couldn't. Draco had hurt me in more ways than I had ever imagined being hurt. I didn't think I could handle going through this again. The pain, the disappointment, the betrayal. I couldn't stand feeling all of that again. He said he'd be better, but he said that before and he didn't follow through.
I shook my head, as the tears flooded my eyes temporarily blurred my vision. "I can't give you another chance." I whispered.
"Jo, please. I swear I will never hurt you again. If you give me the chance I'll make myself worthy of you. I'll do anything." He begged.
"What about Pansy?" I asked. "I thought you loved her."
"I thought wrong." He admitted. "It was never her, it was always you. Only you."
"Then why did we have to sneak around?" I sniffled.
"We don't have to anymore." Draco insisted. "I'll tell her. I'll tell everyone. It will be you and me against the world, huh?"
"You should stay with her." I said slowly, after pausing for a moment.
"What? Why?" He asked.
"Because I stole you once, and I'm not doing it again. I'm not making the same mistake twice." I explained, crying.
"All I'm asking for is one more chance. If you give me it I swear this time will be the last time I will ever beg you to come back." His voice trembled slightly, but he looked serious.
"I can't." I choked out.
"Do you not love me anymore?" Draco asked in a hurt voice.
I wish I could have said I didn't. That would make this easier, it wouldn't be causing my heart to break. But the truth was I still loved him, even after everything, even though I felt something for Ron.
"I do." I answered. "I just can't be with you again. I can't trust that you won't hurt me again. And I can't just leave Ron. He was there to pick up the pieces you broke, it wouldn't be fair."
"Fuck being fair!" Draco shouted. "He doesn't love you the way I do, and he never will! He can't make you happy the way I can. He's not in love with you. He can't give you what you want. I can. Don't you see that?"
"Yes. But he'd never hurt me the way you did."
Draco gave a bitter laugh, but said nothing at first. "You have no idea how much I love you." He stated.
He was right, I didn't. Sometimes I didn't even think he loved me at all to be honest. How can you love someone and still hurt them like that?
"Just let this go." I said.
"No, I can never let you go. You mean everything." He whispered.
I touched his face softly. "Draco, if you ever really loved me, you'll let this go. Maybe we'll be together again some time in the future, but not anytime soon."
He hung his head and sighed in defeat. I guess he really had loved me.
"Hey." I said to Ron.
"Hey, what did Malfoy want?" He asked.
"Nothing important." I shrugged. I knew he could see right through me, but he didn't say anything.
"Well, then let's talk about something important then." He said.
"Well I'm starting to feel like our relationship isn't fake anymore." I said. "Like maybe there's really something between us. Something more than friendship. I hope I'm not the only one feeling it." I admitted.
Ron just stared at me for a moment. "You're not." He finally said. "I feel it too. It's like we have this kind of connection through us being hurt, you know?"
"Yeah, that's exactly how I feel." I said.
"Well, then maybe we should stop with this fake relationship and start a real one?"
"Are you asking me to be your real girlfriend?" I asked smiling.
"I am." He smiled back. "Are you saying you'll be my real girlfriend?"
A/N: Hey. So, Jo won't give Draco another chance. That sucks. But Jo and Ron are really together. How will that turn out? And it seems like Blaise is done with all these secrets. In the next chapter, Pansy's secret will be revealed, and it's gonna be crazy! Thanks for reading! :)
Chapter 17: Secrets Revealed
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
I loved kissing Ron. He wasn't all that experienced, but he made up for it with intensity and passion. I could always feel him focusing all of his energy on me. I liked that a lot. He always made me feel important, something Draco sometimes wasn't good at.
I know, I shouldn't be comparing my relationship with Ron to my relationship with Draco, but I can't help it. I don't even realize I'm doing it sometimes either, that's what makes it worse.
It's not that I don't like being with Ron, it's just I loved being with Draco. He had been right when he said Ron couldn't make me feel the way he did, but that doesn't make up for all that he did to me.
"How much do you like me, Lina?" Ron asked.
I laughed. "Do you have to ask me that every day?"
"Yes." He said simply. "Now answer the question."
"Even more than I did yesterday." I replied.
"Do you have to have the same answer every day?"
"Yes." I said.
He shook his head, smiling. "The things I put up with because I like you so much." He joked.
I raised my eyebrows. "Well, how much do you like me Ron?" I asked.
"More than I like food." He said giving me a haughty look, knowing he had a good answer.
I smiled. "Really?" I asked.
"Of course, Lina. You're one of the best things in my life right now." He replied.
"I like you more than I like that beech tree next to the lake." I said quietly.
Ron stared at me a moment. This was the first time I had ever given a real answer to his question. He seemed pleased with it too, because he smiled and kissed me.
"I like that answer." He said.
I laughed. "Do you like the answer more than you like me?"
"I haven't decided yet." He grinned.
"Well, you let me know when you do." I said wrapping my arms around him, and snuggling him closer.
He rested his chin on my head, as we sat together in silence. "I never knew Slytherins could feel like this." He said suddenly. "You all seem so in love with your own selves, I didn't know you could have real feelings about other people."
"Everyone thinks we're vicous and our hearts are carved out of stone or something. But we feel." I said. "More than most people actually. You have no idea the pressure we're all under to be the best and act superior to others. We're looked down upon even if we date someone outside of our house. Our parents influence us to marry into pureblood families. We don't choose to act like this, we're expected to."
"Wow. I would have never guessed." He said quietly. "You guys seem like you want all that."
"Wanna know a secret?" I asked. Ron nodded. "It's all part of the show. We have to act like we know exactly what we want. Most of us don't have a damn clue."
"What about you?" He asked. "Do you know what you want?"
"At this time in my life I do." I answered.
"What is that?"
"To be with you." I whispered.
"That's exactly what I want too." He said.
That's it, I'm done. I can't live like this anymore. All of these secrets are killing me. I have to tell somebody, anybody, I just have to get this stuff off my chest before I have a breakdown or something.
But who could I tell all that I've done? All that Pansy's done? Jolina? No she would never believe me. Draco? He'd kill me before I finished telling him everything. There's got to be someone I can tell. I just know it.
Two years ago everything was great. Draco, Jolina, Pansy and I ruled over all the third years. We were popular, and each for a different thing. Draco was a natural born leader, everyone wanted to follow him. Jolina was (and still is) gorgeous, every guy wanted her, and every girl wanted to be her. Pansy had information on everyone, and was the biggest gossiper out there. And me, I was smart. The only one who could brew a potion better than Hermione Granger.
We were all best friends, and things were perfect. That is until feelings got in the way. Jolina liked Draco, Draco liked Jolina, Pansy liked Draco, and I liked Jolina. Only I'm the only one who realized this problem early on. It wasn't until later that everyone else realized too.
Draco had told me he liked Jolina. Like really liked her, more than the best friends they had always been. I knew she liked him back, so when he told me, I started mentally preparing myself for seeing them together. He decided to go to Pansy before asking Jolina out. Making sure that she liked him like that too. He didn't want to ruin their friendship. What Draco didn't know was that Pansy liked him.
So, Draco asked Pansy to talk to her for him. Another thing he didn't know was that Pansy never talked to Jolina about Draco liking her. Infact this is what happened. Later that very day I had been passing by when I heard Jolina and Pansy talking.
"So...I like Draco." Jolina had said. Hearing the words come out of her mouth was a little painful.
"As more than a friend?" Pansy asked, the panic clear in her voice. Well, clear to me anyways.
"Yeah...is that bad?" Jolina asked.
"No, it just that, I like Draco too." Pansy said.
There was silence for a moment. "But you saw him first and he is your best friend, so you should have him." Pansy said.
"Really? You're sure it's okay?" Jolina asked. Pansy nodded. "Do you think Draco likes me back?" She continued.
I held my breath waiting for Pansy to tell her that Draco did indeed feel the same way.
"I'm not sure." Pansy said. I put my hand over my mouth, so not to be given away. Why was Pansy lying? "But I'll talk to him for you."
"Thanks." Jolina said.
None of it made sense. Pansy already knew that Draco liked Jolina, so why was she going to talk to him?
The next day, I was sitting with Draco when Pansy approached him. "So, I talked to Jolina." She started.
"And?" Draco asked anxiously.
"She doesn't feel the same way." I gaped at Pansy. How could she betray her best friends like that?
"Oh." Draco said sadly.
"She said that she would never want to ruin you guy's friendship like that. She says you're like a brother." She carried on.
These were complete and utter lies. But I couldn't find the voice to say anything. Maybe because deep down, this is what I wanted. To keep Draco and Jolina apart. And I didn't have to feel guilty, because it wasn't my fault.
"I get it." Draco said. "She doesn't know I like her right?" He asked.
"No, I made sure that she didn't know about your feelings." Pansy answered. At least she was telling the truth about something.
"Good." He said. "Thanks for the help anyways."
"Of course." She said. When Draco turned away, a triumphant smile came across her face.
Later that day, I had followed Pansy when she was going to talk to Jolina.
"Did you talk to Draco?" Jolina asked.
Pansy sighed. "Yes, and...he doesn't like you as more than a friend. He said you were like a sister to him. He didn't want to mess that up."
Jolina looked as though she was on the verge of tears. "Well,that makes sense." She said quietly. "I was stupid for even thinking he could have liked me like that anyways. We're just friends. I shouldn't ruin that."
With every word, her eyes filled up with tears even more. I should have said something. I should have exposed Pansy for what she did. But instead, I watched the girl I was in love with cry over another guy. I hated seeing her cry like that, it hurt me, but I was too selfish to make it stop.
"I'm really sorry." Pansy said.
"It's fine." She insisted. "It's not your fault." If only she knew.
"So, I know this is completely wrong time to ask, but would you hate me if Draco and I got together?"
Jolina paused for a moment. "Um..." she sighed. "No. If he doesn't like me,then there's no point in keeping him away from you, is there?"
"Really? Okay good, cause I think he might like me." Now she was rubbing it her face. That was just cruel.
"Well, I hope it works out." Jolina said. What was worse than the defeated tone in her voice was the fact that she meant what she said. That was it. I was stopping Pansy.
"I know what you did." I said to her.
"All right, it was me that started that rumor about you liking Daphne Greengrass." Pansy shrugged.
"I meant I know you lied to both Jolina and Draco. And that was you?!'
Pansy glared me. "I don't know what you're talking about." She said.
"Don't lie." I said. "Jolina and Draco told you they liked eachother, and then you lied and said they didn't. How could you treat your best friends like that?"
"Don't judge me." She said. "I did what I had to do. Jolina gets everything she wants. Why should she have Draco too?"
"Because they like eachother." I said.
"That's not a good enough reason." Pansy growled.
"I'm going to tell them." I said.
Pansy raised her eyebrows. "Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. You have a little secret of your own, don't you, Blaise?"
"No." I lied.
"Yes you do." She smirked. "You like everyone else are in love with Jolina. How would your best friend Draco feel if he found out that you liked the same girl he did? Especially his best girl friend?"
I said nothing. There was nothing to say. We both knew that Draco would hate me for liking her.
"He wouldn't like that, would he?" Pansy asked giving a laugh. "And Jolina would never give you the time of day if she knew Draco liked her. So I'm going to help both of us out. I'm going to tell Draco that Jolina thinks he and I should date, we both know he'll do whatever would make Jolina happy, and you're going to tell him you heard her say it, just in case he doesn't believe me."
I was hating this. Why did she have to drag me into her web of lies?
"Then you're going to be the one to tell Jolina that Draco and I are together-"
"No." I said quietly.
"Yes. Or I'll tell them about your feelings." She threatened.
I had no choice. I couldn't let them find out. "Fine."
"Good. And after that, you are going to tell her that Draco likes me so much and he's always talking about me, just so she doesn't get suspicious. And to top it all off, you're going to tell her that Cam Sturgess likes her and Draco thinks they should date." She finished.
I didn't want to do it, any of it. But there was no other way. I had to do it. "Okay." I said quietly.
So when the time came, I did everything Pansy told me to do. I told Draco that Jolina thought he and Pansy should be together. When Draco decided to ask Pansy out because she was a safe choice as a girlfriend, I was the one who broke the news to Jolina. She actually cried on my shoulder for an hour, and then begged me not to tell anyone. The next day I told her about Cam Sturgess. A few days later they were dating.
Draco was none too happy, but he pretended it didn't bother him, because he didn't want Jolina to think he liked her or anything. After two weeks, Jolina had broken up with Cam to which Draco and I were happy about. But two days later, she began dating Steven Bessette. A week and a half later, it was over.
With Jolina dating so many guys and Draco dating Pansy, they were both quite convinced that the other didn't like them. Pansy's plan worked brilliantly. And no one would ever know we kept them apart.
Of course back then, I never thought the guilt would be eating away at me like this. I knew what we did was wrong, but I didn't expect to regret it so badly.
And now I was dying to tell somebody. Jolina walked by with Weasley's arm wrapped around her waist and waved to me. I waved back and then it hit me who I should tell. Weasley. He's not my friend, but he cares enough about Jolina to tell her so I won't have to.
"Hey, Weasley, wait up." I called hurrying over to him. He looked shocked and confused.
"You're not going to hit me, are you?" He asked.
"What? No." I said. "I have to tell you something. But first, do you care about Jolina?"
"Yes." He said without hesitation.
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Positive." He insisted.
"Okay, I'm about to tell you something huge that has to do with Jolina, okay? I need you to listen to the whole story very carefully, do you understand?"
"This is serious, huh?" Weasley asked.
I nodded. Then I told him everything, from two years ago to when Pansy blackmailed Draco into breaking up with Jolina. He doesn't speak for a few moments. It's all sinking in.
Finally, he says something. "We have to tell Lina!"
I honestly can't believe all that Zabini just told me. I always knew there was something suspicious about Parkinson, something no one should trust. And it was more than just her being a Slytherin, I knew she wasn't a real friend.
She hurt Lina in more ways than one, and she continued to do it over the years. A part of me wonders if I should be grateful for that. I mean, if Parkinson never betrayed Lina, I would have never gotten close to her, and we wouldn't be dating. And that would be sad.
And I'm also scared to tell Lina all of this. It might change things. She'd find out that Malfoy didn't cheat on her of his own accord and that would right all of his wrongs. Would that mean it would be over between us? I know she still loves him, but I was hoping one day she would stop loving him and be fully happy with me. I didn't see that happening with this new discovery.
Anyways, I couldn't not tell Lina about this. She had the right to know her 'best friend' had lied and betrayed her. After all of this time of Lina worried about hurting Pansy, Pansy had been hurting her for two years, and it had to stop.
Finally we found Lina. "Hey, Lina." I said.
She looked at us strangely. "What are you two doing together?" She asked.
"We have to tell you something." I said. And then together, Zabini and I told her everything.
A/N: So, now you know what Pansy did. Don't you just hate her? I know I do. How will Jo take finding out what Pansy did? How will Draco? You'll find out in the next chapter. Thanks for reading. :)
Chapter 18: The Truth Is Out
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
I just stared at Ron and Blaise. Everything they told me that's happened over the last two years, I can't believe it's true. But it all seems to make perfect sense at the same time. And really, it comes down to three words: Pansy betrayed me. And she was not going to get away with it. No way in hell.
"Lina, are you okay?" Ron asked.
I didn't answer, I turned on my heel, heading to the Great Hall screaming. "AHH!!! THAT BITCH!"
I could hear Ron and Blaise hurrying after me. "Where are you going?" Blaise asked.
"To teach that bitch a lesson." I growled. I had reached the doors of the Great Hall. I shoved them open angrily. "PANSY PARKINSON!" I shouted.
She got up, looking shocked. "Jolina, what is going on?!" She asked walking towards me. I brought my arm back, ready to slap the lies out of her, but at the last moment, my fist balled up, and I ended up punching her in the face.
She stumbled back, and I grabbed her and threw her to the floor. We started wrestling on the ground (mostly me trying to hit her and her trying to avoid getting hit) until Draco, Ron and Blaise pulled us apart.
"Jo, what has gotten into you?" Draco asked.
"Yeah, what the hell?!' Pansy exclaimed. "We're supposed to be friends!"
"Yeah, we are supposed to be friends, but that didn't stop you from betraying me, did it?!" I asked.
Pansy's eyes widened, she knew that I knew. "What does she mean?" Draco asked her.
"Tell him!" I demanded. "Tell him what you did two years ago! How you lied to both of us!"
"I don't know what you're talking about." She said quickly.
"Yes, you do, Pansy, now tell them." Blaise ordered. I like this angry Blaise.
"Fine!" She shouted. "I'll tell him."
"Tell me what?" Draco asked in confusion.
"Two years ago Jolina tried to steal you away and-"
"You are the biggest fucking liar I've ever encountered!" I shouted interupting her. I turned to Draco. "I liked you in third year. As more than a friend."
"What?" Draco asked. "No, you didn't, you said I was like your brother."
"No, Pansy said that I said that. And she told me you said I was like your sister." I said.
"That's bullshit!" He said looking at Pansy angrily. "You told her that after I told you I liked her?!"
"And don't you dare lie." I said before she could answer.
"Yes, I did." She said quite proudly. "I was the one who kept you two apart."
"Why?" Draco asked.
"Because that whore doesn't deserve you!" She yelled. "From the moment we started school everything was always about Jolina. 'Isn't Jolina so smart?' Or 'Isn't she so pretty?' Everyone thought she was fucking perfect! But I knew better. She was evil and coniving. She ruined my life."
"What are you talking about? You were my best friend-"
"You stole everything!" Pansy said. "You stole the attention and the praise and the guys, everything. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't beat you at anything."
"It wasn't a competition!" I exclaimed.
She laughed bitterly. "Of course it wasn't. You always won. Do you have any idea what it was like being your best friend?" She asked. "It was hell. Being overlooked, because you were standing right next to me, I was living in your shadow. Everyone loved you. But you want to know something? I didn't. I fucking hated you."
"It is not my fault-"
"Oh, of course it wasn't your fault. You're perfect. Nothing is ever your fault." She said sarcastically. "By third year, I had had it with Jolina. I still couldn't beat her. She had her first kiss, her first boyfriend all before me. But that didn't matter, because I set my sights on something wonderful. You, Draco. You were what I wanted most. I thought we really had something. And then you had to ruin it by telling me you liked her. Why did you have to do that?"
Draco stared at her shaking his head, and she continued. "I had every intention of talking to Jolina. I thought she didn't like you that way. But the same damn day she told me she liked you. I didn't know what to do."
"Telling the truth would have been great." Blaise said coldly.
Pansy grinned. "I almost forgot about Blaise's role in all of this. Blaise being the smart boy he is managed to find out I had lied. He was going to turn me in. Except, he had a secret of his own."
I had just then realized Blaise hadn't told me what his secret was. Just that it would hurt Draco if he knew.
"And what secret is that?" Draco asked.
"It's not important." I said. "She's just trying to distract you. All you need to know is Pansy used the secret to blackmail Blaise into helping her lie. Now, continue." I said to Pansy.
"As Jolina said, I blackmailed Blaise into helping me. I had him lie to both of you. I told him to tell you Jolina thought we would be good together. And he told Jolina you thought she should be with Cam Sturgess."
Draco slammed his hand on the table angrily. "How could you do that?!" He asked Pansy.
"I already told I was tired of losing to her! She didn't get to just decide she wanted you when I wanted you first. She didn't deserve you." She cried.
"And you did?" He asked. "Being the selfish, jealous liar you are, you thought you deserved me?!"
"I was not jealous." Pansy growled.
"Really?" I asked. "So, what do you call it when you want everything someone else has?"
"Shut the fuck up, Jolina!" She yelled.
"Continue the fucking story." I demanded.
She glared at me, but she did continue. "Once Jolina started slutting it up with all those guys, I was sure she was over you. And you were with me, and you seemed happy, so I thought I had no problem. You both had no idea what I had done."
"Was I really slutting it up?" I asked Ron.
"A little bit." He answered too truthfully.
"And then this year came and I could feel you drifting away." Pansy said sadly. It almost made me feel bad for her. Almost. "I tried to keep you as interested as possible, but nothing I did worked. I couldn't keep you away from that Gryffindor slut you were sneaking around with."
"Gryffindor slut?" I asked confused.
"Yes. That's who he cheated on me with. Looks like he doesn't tell you everything, hmm?" Pansy asked smugly.
"Apparently not." I said giving Draco a weird look. He merely shrugged as Pansy started talking again.
"When you broke up with me, I promised myself you would be sorry. I went through all that effort to get you, and you just dumped me like trash. I wasn't going to let you get away with it. I was determined to find out who you left me for and who Jolina's new boy-toy was."
Pansy took a deep breath. "For a moment I thought I would never find out." She said. "But I got lucky one day. I found out Jolina was hooking up with Weasley and that you and Jolina were fucking behind my back."
"Lina and I weren't hooking up." Ron protested.
Pansy rolled her eyes. "Well, you are now, so who gives a fuck?" She snapped. "Anyways, I couldn't believe that after all I had done, you two still managed to be together. Of course I had to stop it. I couldn't let you two be together."
"Why not?" I asked. "You had already lost him to me. You knew he didn't want to be with you."
"It's not getting through to you is it?" She asked. "I hate you! I wanted you to be as miserable as you made me feel for the past five years. And I finally got that, seeing you so messed up after he dumped you. It was beautiful seeing you as miserable as you made me."
"You made yourself miserable." I said. "You could have talked to me about this. Or maybe even stopped seeing everything as a damn competition. I wasn't trying to compete with you, I was just living my life. Maybe if you did that, you'd have someone on your side."
"Oh, but I do have someone on my side. Blaise." She said. "He helped me destroy you."
"If Blaise is so much on your side, why did he tell me all that you did? Huh?" I asked. "You want to know something? There was no Gryffindor slut. I was the girl Draco was cheating on you with. And you know that night Draco dumped your ass? He was the one I made love to that night. Did Blaise tell you that? Or how about that Draco and I dated for two months before you fucked it up? No?"
Pansy was livid. She stared at me, breathing heavily face red with anger. "Karma is almost as big of a bitch as you are." I said.
"Was there ever a point that you were actually my friend?" I asked.
Pansy's face softened a little. "Yes. In the beginning. And then when I was with Draco, and you weren't. It was the times when you weren't stealing everything."
"What the hell did I steal from you?" I asked.
"Everything! My praise, my friends, that prefect badge!"
"You forgot to mention your boyfriend." I added in. She lunged for me, and I readily fought back. The boys pulled us apart again.
"You know what, I feel sorry for you." I said to Pansy. "Because you are so unhappy, you have to ruin other people's lives to make yourself happy. But what's disgusting about it is that it was people that called you a friend whose lives you've ruined."
"Oh, don't preach to me." Pansy spat. "I may have kept you two apart, but I never went behind your back and slept with any of your boyfriends."
"I didn't sleep with your boyfriend." I said. "I slept with your ex boyfriend. I believe you two were broken up."
"Either way, you stole him from me, and you didn't give a shit."
"Actually I did! I was terrified of hurting you, because I thought you were my best friend, and I didn't want to deliberately hurt you. Meanwhile, you didn't give a shit about me."
She shook her head. "Why couldn't you two just stay away from eachother?" She asked.
"Because that's impossible when you're in love." Draco said.
"Why do you love her?" She cried. "Why can't you love me?"
"As you said before...she's perfect." He answered.
I looked at Draco. Finding out the truth changed so much. Draco hadn't really cheated on me, and he broke up with me to protect me. Where did this situation leave the five of us?
Would I stay with Ron or get back with Draco? Would Draco and Blaise continue to be best mates? What would happen to Pansy? Would she finally give up on trying to keep Draco and me apart? Would she still try to ruin my life?
"As fascinating as this whole ordeal has been, it does not give the five of you the right to disrupt dinner over it." Snape's high cold voice said bringing me out of my thoughts. "Twenty points from each of you. Fieran, Malfoy, Weasley, Zabini and Parkinson, detention tomorrow at noon."
"On a Saturday?" I asked.
"Yes." He snapped. "It will give you all more time discuss this without interupting anything." With that he turned and left.
I hadn't even realized we had caused a huge scene in the Great Hall. Well at least now everyone knew Pansy was a backstabbing, lying bitch. We all looked at eachother, but said nothing. So much had already been said, and honestly I was exhausted from the whole situation.
All at the same time, we walked out of the Hall. We walked together, yet seperately. Ron soon left us, he didn't say a word, just kept walking. The rest of us entered the empty common room. We split up at the staircases. Pansy and I taking the ones on the right, Draco and Blaise taking the ones on the left.
Again, nothing was said as we went our seperate says. Pansy and I said absolutely nothing to eachother as we got ready for bed. I slept in Draco's shirt, it always made me feel better, even when I was pissed at him. I fell into a peaceful sleep to the sound of Pansy crying and the feeling of my own tears streaming down my face.
No matter what happened in detention tomorrow, one thing was for sure. We would lose someone we once called a friend.
A/N: Hey. So the whole truth is out! What did you think about it? I haven't decided if the next chapter is the last one or the second to last one, I haven't written the end of it yet. Either way, I hope you will be happy to know there is a sequel! But who will Jo end up with? Draco? Ron? Maybe even Blaise?! You'll find out in the next wild chapter. Thanks for reading. :)
Chapter 19: Detention is the Best Solution
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
The next morning I woke up feeling empty. I honestly felt no emotion at all. The night before had drained me so much. At breakfast, I could tell the others felt the same way. Ron picked at his food, and barely ate anything. Draco looked down at the table the entire time, not bothering to do anything else. Blaise was wringing his hands, staring off into space. And Pansy's head was buried in her hands. And me? After observing everyone else, I closed my eyes like a lunatic.
There was a few hours between the end of breakfast and detention. I spent those few hours in hiding. I didn't want to speak or see anyone. I did that by hiding out in an abandoned classroom. I thought about going to the Room of Requirement, but they all knew about it. That would be hiding in plain sight.
Finally the time came to head over to Snape's classroom. I was the last one there.
"Ah, Ms. Fieran, we were staring to think you wouldn't be joining us today." Snape said.
I didn't even bother giving him a response. I was honestly in no mood for him.
"What you five will be doing is solving this little problem you have." He said. "You will stay in here until six o'clock."
"I have to spend six hours locked in a room with four Slytherins?!" Ron asked.
"Babe, you know I'm not going to hurt you." I said.
"I know, but he might." He gestured at Draco, who rolled his eyes in response.
"You will do as I say Weasley, unless you would like a months worth of detentions." Snape said coldly.
"Yes sir." Ron said in a defeated tone.
"Lunch will be brought to you in an hour. Detention begins now." He walked swiftly out of the room and there was a click of a lock.
We sat in silence for a few moments. "I'm not going to sit in silence for six hours." Blaise stated.
"Yeah, neither am I." I agreed.
"Well then you two can talk to eachother." Pansy said. "You'd like that wouldn't you, Blaise?"
"Oh, shut the hell up, Parkinson, you're the reason why we're here." Ron said.
"I'm not the one who told Jolina, you did." She said crossing arms.
"I was being a good boyfriend...unlike some people." He muttered.
"You trying to say I was a bad boyfriend to Jo?" Draco asked.
"I'm not trying to say it, I am saying it." Ron clarified.
"I was ten times better than you, Weasley." Draco protested.
"Are you two seriously fighting over Jolina?!" Pansy asked. "This is what I mean, everything is always about her."
"You're acting like I make it about me!" I said. "I didn't tell them to fight over me."
"Well, you didn't tell them to stop." She replied. "Oh, and who haven't you dated in this room? I'm curious."
"No, you're jealous." I said.
"What's there to be jealous about?" She asked.
"Hmm, maybe the fact that she's gorgeous and smart, and has everything you want?" Blaise said.
"We all know you're in love with her Blaise, give it a rest. Is everyone but me in this room in love with Jolina?!"
"I'm the only one who's truly in love with her." Draco said.
"Please, I care about her way more than you do." Ron said.
"I think I'll be the judge of that." I stepped in.
"I honestly think Blaise loves her the most." Pansy said.
"Well, thinking isn't your strong point, so I suggest you stop before you hurt yourself." Ron said cruelly.
"How about I hurt you instead?" She asked threateningly.
"Don't you dare threaten him." I warned.
"Oh, isn't that sweet, standing up for your blood traitor boyfriend. How does that make you feel, Draco?" Pansy asked.
"I don't know, how did it make you feel when I choose Jo over you?" Draco countered.
"Probably like shit." Blaise muttered.
"How does it feel knowing Jolina will never love you, Blaise?" Pansy sniggered.
"The same way it makes you feel knowing Draco will never love you."
Pansy's smile wiped off her face. I wondered why she kept makig remarks like that. Sure Blaise is always flirting with me, but he's not in love with me.
Pansy suddenly turned to Draco. "Did you ever love me?" She asked.
Draco shook his head. "No." He answered quietly. "And I used to feel bad about that, but not anymore."
"And why not?" She demanded.
"Forgive me for not feeeling bad after finding out what you did. You ruined mine and Jo's life. Do you even feel bad?"
Pansy shook her head slowly. Draco looked at her in disbelief. "At least she's telling the truth." I said quietly.
"If I may say something." Ron said. "I'm not entirely mad that you did all this Parkinson. I mean, if you hadn't, I would've never become friends with Lina."
I smiled and Pansy said. "Well, you guys are a bit more than friends lately." She glanced at Draco to see his reaction. He balled up fists and his jaw clenched.
She smirked. "Isn't that right, Jolina? You and Ron are a very close couple. It's clear your feelings for eachother are strong. I've never seen you so attracted to anyone."
I didn't say anything, so she continued. "You two are always all over eachother. The sex must be amazing, huh?"
"Shut up!" Draco yelled. Pansy smirked again. She had gotten the reaction she wanted from him.
"Why?" She asked. "You and Jolina are history. Ron is her future. Get used to it."
"No,he is not. I'm not letting you ruin my relationship with her again. It is not over between me and Jo." He growled.
"Does Jolina know that?" Pansy asked.
Everyone looked at me. I looked at everyone. It was silent again. "What are you all looking at?" I snapped.
"You." They all answered.
"Is it over between you and Malfoy?" Ron asked quietly.
"I don't know." I whispered. Ron didn't look mad, he didn't even look surprised. He knew that I was still in love with Draco. Apparently so did everyone else.
"What do you mean you don't know?" Draco asked.
"Exactly what I said. I don't know, okay?" I said. "I have spent these last two months trying to hate you, because you hurt me. And then I was strong enough to say no when you asked for another chance. But now I find out you never really hurt me. I'm confused."
Pansy groaned. "Only you would have the issue of picking between two guys who love you."
"You really think I enjoy this?!" I asked. "I have to choose between two people I care a lot about. No matter what I do someone will get hurt. I don't want to be responsible for that."
"Then choose no one. Hell, why don't you get with Blaise? You've never been with him before." She shrugged.
"You are a bitch!" I spat at her.
"And you are a life ruining slut!" She yelled back.
"Don't talk to my girlfriend like that!" Ron warned.
"Oh, you're girlfriend that doesn't even know if she wants to be with you?" Pansy asked viciously. "She's thinking of leaving you!"
"And why is that a bad thing?" Draco asked. "Weasley, she doesn't love you. She's only with you because she feels bad or something. She feel like she owes you. Just let her go. She's not happy with you."
"Who the fuck are you to tell Ron how I feel about him?!" I asked angrily. "I may not love Ron, but I care about him a lot. And I'm with him because I choose to be. I don't feel bad for him, and I may owe him a lot, but I'm not paying him back by dating him. I want to be with Ron, and I am happy."
"So you choose him?" Draco asked.
"I didn't say that. But if you keep saying stuff like that, my choice will be very easy."
"It should already be easy." He said. "Don't I deserve another chance? You said yourself that I didn't really hurt you. Why should I be punished for something Pansy did?"
"Don't pull me into your dating drama." She said.
"You pulled yourself in when you saw fit to keep us apart." Draco said.
"Well, that didn't work, so just leave me out of it for now."
"That seems fair." Ron said.
"She doesn't deserve fair." Blaise said. "What she's done has affected all of us, and not in a good way."
"It affected me in a good way." Ron shrugged.
"Who cares?" Draco asked. "We're not all lucky enough to have something positive come out of this situation, Weasley."
"You know, if you had the balls to talk to Lina yourself, this would have never happened." Ron said.
"Yeah, and if you would have kept your filthy self away from her, she wouldn't be with you." Draco countered.
"That also wouldn't have happened if you didn't fuck up." Ron replied.
"All right, guys, just stop, all right. You two fighting isn't going to solve anything." I said.
"Nothing is going to solve this problem Jo. In fact, I don't even know what we're trying to solve. What's done is done. We can't change what we've done. So what does Snape want us to do?" Draco asked.
"Maybe he wants us to figure out how we got to this point, and try to salvage what's left of our relationships." Blaise suggested.
"Well, that's just stupid and pointless." Pansy said. "I don't want to salvage anything with any of you."
"Oh,yes because it's been us running around wrecking people's lives." I said sarcastically.
"Hey, I don't regret what I did. If anything, I regret being ratted out." She gave Blaise a cold look. "But now that the truth is out, I don't have to pretend anymore. I can tell you all how I really feel about you."
I suddenly got an idea. "All right then, go on, tell each of us what you think of us." I said.
Pansy shrugged. "Fine. I'll start with you. I think you are a concieted, selfish slut that always seems to get what she wants."
I managed to refrain from saying something as nasty back and instead said. "Okay, now Draco."
"You are the love of my life that I hate because you won't ever love me no matter what I do."
Draco opened his mouth to say something, but I held up my hand, stopping him.
Pansy turned to Blaise. "You are a unappreciative git that ratted me out when all I did was try to help you." Finally she turned to Ron. "You are a poor blood traitor, who I honestly care nothing about."
Ron shrugged, not looking the least bit offended. "All right, Draco." I said. "It's your turn, tell everyone what you think of them."
"Blaise." He said. "I thought you were my best mate. But finding out you betrayed me makes me think you were never my friend."
"Continue." I said.
"Pansy. You're the girl I never loved and my worst enemy." He said. "Weasley, you're my competition. I don't think you can love Jo the way I can, and I hate you for being the one who fixed her heart."
Draco turned to me, with an intense expression. "And Jo. You are everything. I love you so much. I always have and I always will. You're the most important thing in my life."
I cleared my throat and nodded. "Okay, Blaise."
Blaise nodded back. "Um, all right. Draco, you really are my best mate. The reason why I did what I was because I was jealous of you. I never hated you, but I was jealous."
"Of what?" Draco asked.
"We'll get to that later." I said. "Go ahead Blaise."
"Pansy, you are well. You're selfish. You claim your tried to help me, but you were only helping yourself. You blackmailed me and made me hurt my friends. Of course I don't appreciate that."
He turned to Ron. "Weasley, you're not what I expected. You're a decent guy, and you treat Jolina right. You're all right in my book."
"Jolina." He said. "I have extremely strong feelings about you. Feelings that I never expressed, because there's no way in hell you'd have those feelings too. You're one of my closest friends. I love you."
Everyone was silent. I wasn't sure how to respond. How had I never noticed Blaise's feelings for me? Had I been so focused on Draco I had overlooked Blaise?
"Um, Ron, your turn." I said.
"This will be quick." He said. "Parkinson, you're a bitch. Zabini, you're a good guy who got mixed up with a bad person. Malfoy, you're a prick who hurt one of the most important people in my life, I will always dislike you for that. And Lina. You're perfect. I'm so lucky to have you in my life."
I smiled and Pansy said. "Looks like you're up."
"All right. Pansy, you were my best friend. You always had the one thing I wanted most. I didn't care about those other things, just Draco. You stole him from me, and I can never forgive you for that."
I took a deep breath. "Blaise, you're one of closest friends, even with your tendency to flirt with me, I still love being around you. I'm not mad about what you did. I forgive you."
"Ron. You saved me. You were always there when I needed you whether it was as a friend or a boyfriend. Without you, I would be nothing." I said.
"Draco." I started. "I've always loved you. No matter how angry I was with you or when I thought I could never have you, I still didn't stop. I don't know if we're meant to be together forever, but I know I'll never stop loving you."
Again silence filled the air. I sighed. "Now doesn't everyone feel better now that they've got all that off their chest?" I asked.
Everyone, even Pansy agreed. There was a knock on the door, and then it opened. A third year with a big plate of sandwiches came in. He left them on the desk infront of me, and then left quickly.
"This is what Snape calls lunch?" Ron asked. "Where the bloody hell is the real food?!"
"Weasley, you're such a pig." Draco sneered as he watched Ron shovel sandwiches in his mouth.
"Shu' up, Ma'foy." Ron said with his mouth full. "I 'ungry."
"That's attractive." Pansy said sarcastically.
He made a face at her and continued eating. "He's a keeper, Jolina." She said.
"Shut up." I muttered.
After we were finished eating, we sat and talked a bit. But soon, we had nothing much to say.
"What do we do now?" Blaise asked.
I thought for a moment. "Um, why don't we go around telling a truth that has to do with someone in this room. But it has to be something new, not something that's already been admitted. I'll start. Um, Pansy, I was jealous of you because you had Draco." I said.
Pansy smirked slightly. "Um, Weasley, I actually like you and Jolina together."
Ron smiled. "Blaise, I always knew you liked Lina."
"Draco, I always hoped you would mess up and Jolina would dump you." Blaise said.
"Ouch." Draco said. "Um, kind of adding to what Blaise said, Jo, I was always scared that you would dump me. Every day, infact."
"Okay, let's get a little deeper." I said. "Pansy, there was a point when I stopped caring about your feelings when Draco and I were sneaking around."
"Blaise, felt bad blackmailing you." Pansy said quietly.
"Ron I preferred you being with Jolina over Draco, because I didn't have to be around you two all the time." Blaise stated.
"Malfoy, Jolina and I were faking our relationship at first to make you angry and jealous. We fell for eachother in the process."
"Ron!" I exclaimed.
"Well, there's no truth about you I could think of." Ron said.
"You guys pretended to date to make me mad?" Draco asked.
"And to make Granger mad." I added in.
"And then you ended up actually liking eachother. You've got to be kidding me." Draco groaned. "It's my fault you're with him."
"No-yeah, kind of." I said.
"And me telling you to not be with him didn't help things either, it drove you towards him even more." He said.
"Um, okay, maybe we should stop sharing things, it's getting a bit too honest in here." I said.
"Wait, I just have one more thing to say." Blaise said. "Jolina, I think you should pick Draco. He's the one you've been in love with forever. You've been fighting for him, don't let all of that go to waste."
"I have something to say too." Pansy said. "I realize we are no longer friends, Jolina, and that my opinion may be invalid. But I honestly think you should choose Ron. I know you love Draco and everything, but he wasn't fighting for you as much as you were for him. I'm sorry, Draco, but even given the circumstances and what I've done, you should have fought harder for her."
"Ron, on the other hand, he was there for you no matter what. He put on that whole charade, because he cared for you. He's okay with being with you even though you love Draco. He's sacraficed so much for you. Don't be foolish enough to let someone like that go." She said.
"All right, I take back what I said. You are not a bitch." Ron said.
"I'm sorry." Pansy said suddenly. "To all of you, I'm so sorry. You're right, I am selfish and jealous, and I am a bitch. After hearing all this, I've realized I really did hurt you guys. I do regret what I did. I don't expect you to fogive me, but I'm sorry."
"I don't forgive you." I said. "But I might one day soon."
Pansy gave me a half smile. "Thanks."
I shrugged. "I am not ready to forgive you either, but we'll see how it plays out in the future." Blaise said.
"I've already said thank you for your actions." Ron said nodding.
Draco was silent at first. "We've all made mistakes over the past two years. I honestly want to forget about it and move on from it, try to salvage what we have. Is that possible?"
"I think so." Pansy said.
"We should at least try." Blaise shrugged.
"I just want you all to know that regardless of what happens, Ron is going to be around. So if we move on from this, he's coming with us." I smiled at Ron.
"You think you can handle us Slytherins, Weasley?" Blaised asked smirking.
"The real question is can you Slytherins handle this Gryffindor?" Ron asked grinning.
"I think we can." Pansy said smiling slightly.
"Draco?" I asked.
He sighed. "Anyone who makes Jo happy can stick around." He said.
I grabbed a sandwich. "Okay, let's toast these sandwhiches to moving past this and getting a clean slate." I said. Everyone grabbed a sandwich too. "To moving on." I smiled.
"To moving on." They repeated and we knocked our sandwiches together and took a bite.
An hour later, everyone but me was alseep. Ron was sprawled on his stomache across four desks, snoring. Blaise's arms were folded on a desk, his head rested on his arms, and he slept quietly. Pansy was spread across five chairs, and she was using a book as a pillow. And Draco laid across Snape's desk on his back, his mouth wide open.
I laughed quietly at them, they looked funny. I was happy with how things had turned out. I think a clean slate was exactly what we needed. The only problem now was who to be with. I didn't have a clue.
Ron or Draco? Draco or Ron? I thought about what both Pansy and Blaise had said, but that made nothing easier. I yawned and put my feet up on the desk. I was too tired to think. Maybe it would come to me in a dream.
I decided there's gonna be one more chapter. What did you think of the clean slate? I'm sorry, I had to let Pansy off easy. I need her to be nice for the sequel. Who do you think Jo will pick, Ron or Draco? You'll find out in the next and last chapter. Thanks for reading! :D
Chapter 20: The Decision
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
I heard laughing all around me as I woke up. I opened my eyes to see four faces surrounding me. I jumped a little, and then I realized it was just my friends.
"What are you all laughing at?" I asked groggily.
"You." Blaise smiled.
"You are too cute when you sleep." Draco teased.
"Oh, shut up." I grumbled sitting up. "What time is it?" I asked.
"Four." Pansy answered in bored tone.
I groaned. "You're kidding. Two more hours in this place. This is just torture."
"Who are you telling?" Ron asked. "I'm starving!"
"When aren't you?" Draco asked.
"When I'm eating." He replied.
"What are we gonna do?" Blaise asked.
"I don't know, but no more truth exercises." Pansy said. "I'm not in the mood for honesty."
"Hear, hear." I agreed. There is such thing as too much of the truth. I found that out today.
"All right. How about we talk about the future?" Blaise suggested. "Where do we see ourselves in five year?"
"I like that. I'll go first." Pansy said. "Obviously out of this hell hole. Working at Gringotts, even though the goblins freak me out a little. But yeah, working there, living in a flat. Maybe by myself. Maybe with a boyfriend, it all depends. But I'd be happy."
I smiled. "That sounds really nice."
Pansy returned my smile. "Yeah, it does."
"I'll go next." Ron said. "I see myself, working, of course. Either as an Auror or a Quidditch player. I haven't exactly decided yet. But I want to make alot of money so I can support my family, you know. And like Pansy said, be happy."
"Nice." Blaise commented. "Now I'll go. This might sound insane, but I want to own a shop."
"What kind of shop?" I asked.
"A sweet shop." He answered sounding slightly embarassed. "I like candy and stuff, and I have some great ideas for new sweets. I don't know, it seems like fun. I sound stupid, huh?"
"No." I said. "It does sound really fun. I'd visit your shop daily."
"Me too." Ron said. "I love sweets!"
"You love anything you can eat." Draco pointed out.
"Oh, all right, your turn, Malfoy." Ron said.
"Fine. I see myself with a job in the Ministry like Father. After a long day at work, I'll return home to the Manor, and there my wife will be, waiting for me happily." He looked over at me. "I'll sit down with her as dinner is being prepared, ask her how her day was, kiss her and tell her how much I missed her. Then I'll tell her I love her."
"At dinner, we'll discuss things that aren't exactly important, but we find them interesting. At night after we've made love I'll hold her close and whisper 'I love you, Jo' just in case she forgets." Draco finished.
The whole time he looked at me. He wanted me to be his wife. The person he came home to every night. The person he'd wake up to every morning for the rest of his life. Draco wanted me to be that person. But the question is did I want to be that person?
"You're turn, Lina." Ron said. I looked at him, it was easy to tell what he was thinking. He thought he'd lost for sure now. He didn't think he could compete with Draco.
I cleared my thoat. "Well, this might sound even more insane, but I want to own a restaurant..."
"A restaurant?" Blaise asked.
"Yeah, you know, a place where people go to eat." I answered.
"I know what it is." He huffed.
"Anyways, yeah, I wanna do that. Then when I go home, I'll freshen myself up a bit for my husband." I could feel both Draco and Ron's eyes on me. "At dinner we'll talk about how are our days were. I'll surprise him with an amazing dessert that I cooked. And every night before we go to sleep, I'll tell him just how much I love him. In the morning when we wake up, the first thing I'll do is tell him I love him, and then we'll start our day until we crawl into bed and do it all over again."
"Even in five years your life is perfect." Pansy said in a dreamy voice.
I giggled. "I'm not perfect. But I'm so damn close, it scares me." I joked.
"I think you're perfect." Draco said smiling.
"Haven't I told you thinking isn't really your thing?" I asked, smiling back.
"That hurt, babe." He said.
"Yeah, you know there are other people in the room." Pansy said.
"Right." I said.
"Now what are going to do?" Blaise asked.
"Let's do some exploring. Let's see if Snapey has any dirty little secrets." Ron got up smirking and started going through Snape's things.
The rest of us followed suit. Ron looked through Snape's desk, I looked through the shelves, Pansy looked through the ingredient cabinet, and Draco and Blaise searched everywhere else, from drawers to his personal store.
"Find anything?" I asked after a few minutes.
"A bunch of gross ingredients." Pansy answered.
"Tons of cauldrons." Draco said.
"Keep looking, there's gotta be something." Ron said.
After five minutes, I came across a nice looking box. I opened it up and saw notes and cards, and dead flowers. "I think I've got something." I said.
"Me too." Blaise said.
We reconvened in the middle of the room. "What do you have?" I asked Blaise.
"A radio." He answered.
"Can you imagine him listening the Weird Sisters as he grades our papers?" Pansy laughed.
"Wat'cha got Jo?" Draco asked.
"Memories of love." I said in high voice.
"No way, Snape in love?" Ron asked.
"Listen to this." I said. " 'My dearest Lily, words cannot describe how much you mean to me. If only you knew how I felt maybe you would realize you reciprocate these feelings. I know as of right now you see me as just a friend, but I want to be more than that. Because, I, Severus Snape am in love with you, Lily Evans. I hope one day I can work up the courage to tell you or at least send this letter. Until that time I will continue to love you in secret. With all my love, Severus'."
"Awww!" Pansy and I chorused.
"Snape wrote that?! Holy shit the man has feelings!" Ron exclaimed.
"Deep beautiful feelings." I said. "I wonder what happened to Lily."
"She died." Ron said quietly.
"What? How do you know?" I asked.
"Because Lily Evans is Harry Potter's mother." He answered.
"Oh, that's horrible. She died not knowing that Snape loved her. That's so sad." I said.
"Yeah, it is." Draco agreed.
We continued to read Snape's letters, the radio playing in the background.
"Oh, this one looks good." Draco said. "Listen. 'My dearest Lily, it seems as though I have lost you forever. We are no longer friends, and you're now with James Potter. Life feels quite empty without you. I miss you dearly. Every day, seeing you with him is torture. Especially when I know that I can love you better that he can. You just can't see that. I hold on to the small chance that you will one day forgive and give me another chance. I shall add this letter to the rest I never sent you. With all my love Severus'."
An awkward silence filled the room as we all realized how familiar the situation sounded. We all looked everywhere but at eachother.
"We should put the notes back." Pansy said.
"Yeah." We all agreed. I put the box where I had found it. As I joined them again, a slow song came on the radio. Ron grinned and held out his hand.
"May I have this dance?" He asked. I laughed and nodded.
We swayed back and forth. A moment later, Pansy and Blaise joined in and started swaying. Draco merely observed us.
"What are you thinking?" Ron asked me.
"Well, I've come to a decision." I said.
"And?" He asked.
"And you are amazing. I would have lost my mind without you. Pansy is right, you were there for me when no one else was and you've done so much for me. I don't think I could ever repay you for all you've done. And I know I would be happy with you and-"
"Lina, I think I get it. I understand." Ron said smiling.
"I knew you would." I smiled back.
Ron leaned in and kissed me. "May I cut in?" Draco asked and we broke apart.
"Sure." Ron said.
Draco and I danced in silence for a moment. "So, you've made your decision, huh?" He asked.
"Yes, I have." I said.
"Is there any way I could convince you to change your mind?" He asked quietly.
I shook my head. "No."
"I'm sorry, you'll get used to the idea soon enough. Though I'd think by now you'd be used to it." I said.
"I don't think I'll ever truly get used to it. I'll always think it can't be true." Draco said sadly.
"Me too." I agreed.
He sighed deeply. "Well, I hope you and Ron will be happy together."
"We will be." I said. "As best friends."
"What?! Now he's your best friend?! Jo, I thought I was your best friend!"
"Draco it's only fair to make Ron my best friend, since you're going to be my boyfriend." I said smiling.
A confused look came across Draco's face. "Wait what?"
"I choose you, stupid." I giggled.
"B-but y-you and Ron. Y-you just kissed." He stuttered.
"Yeah, that was our last kiss. Ron gets it, he understands." I said.
"A-and you said, you said-"
"Did I ever actually say I chose Ron?" I asked.
"Well-no..." He said slowly.
"You just assumed." I grinned.
"Why did you let me think you chose him?" He asked bewildered.
"Because I couldn't resist." I laughed.
"I hate you." Draco said glaring at me.
"You don't mean that." I whispered.
"I don't. Infact, I love you." He said as he kissed me.
"I love you too." I said. We kissed again.
"Awww." Ron, Pansy and Blaise said.
"The lovely couple is back on!" Blaise exclaimed. He was taking this rather well.
"I swear, I won't try to tear you guys apart." Pansy said.
"Don't hurt her, Draco." Ron said.
"I won't." Draco said.
By the time Snape came everything was back in it's place. "Did you solve the problem?" Snape asked.
"Yep." Blaise answered. "We decided that we would move on from what happened and start a new slate."
"And I'm sure your curious about who I chose to be with." I said. "I chose Draco."
"And I'm okay with it." Ron said.
"As am I." Draco said.
"And I'm done ruining lives." Pansy added in.
Snape merely nodded and said. "You may go."
Together we all walked out of Snape's classroom, laughing and talking. I couldn't be happier. I had Draco as a boyfriend, Ron as a best friend and Pansy and Blaise as very close friends.
My life may not be perfect, but it sure has perfect moments.
A/N: I kinda feel like crying cause it's over. I enjoyed writing this story SO much! I hope you liked it and I didn't scare you too much by making you think that Jo chose Ron. I just couldn't resist. The sequel will be up shortly, it's called 'Secrects of Lovers and Friends' it's fast fowarded about a year and a half and they're going into their seventh year. I'm so excited for it! I hope you guys love it! Thanks for all the reads and reviews, they really kept me going. I owned nothing you recognized. Thanks for reading! :D