You are viewing a story from harrypotterfanfiction.com
Trice by trice
Chapter 1: Aren't We in Quite the Predicament?
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
Her name was Isabelle and she had almost finished her seventh year at one of the most prestigious wizarding schools; Hogwarts. On this particularly April night the windows in her Hogwarts dormitory were slightly opened despite the cold breeze that peered through. Isabelle was deep in thought, lying on her back and biting her fingernails out of frustration. She hadn’t reacted to any stimuli around her until she tasted blood in her mouth.
Isabelle had bitten her fingernails so much that her cuticles had started to bleed. She quickly reached for a tissue and attempted to apply pressure to her index finger to stop it from bleeding. As if nothing had happened she fell back into what seemed as a trance. Thoughts and descriptive memories were all that filled her mind. While still tightly holding her finger her mind began to drift to one specific night six months prior.
Isabelle walked down the hall which would then lead up towards her dormitory on a relaxing October afternoon. Most of the students were at Hogsmeade, but she had decided to stay in that particular day for reasons that she honestly couldn’t remember. She entered the Gryffindor common room and brushed her blonde hair out of her face. Everything was so calm, so soothing when no one was around. She almost wished that Hogwarts wasn’t nearly as crowded as it inevitably was.
The rest of that hour was a bit of a haze for Isabelle or maybe she attempted to block it out so much that it now seemed unreal to her. She will admit that it was amazing and one of the best experiences in her life because at that time she really did care for Sirius. The keywords are, though, ‘at that time.’ Even though those moments were repressed the ones that followed weren’t:
Isabelle slowly opened her eyes and shifted underneath her sheets. She turned her head slightly to see that Sirius was next to her breathing very deeply. She smiled at him and kissed his cheek before grabbing on of the blankets and wrapping them around herself.
It was at that moment that Isabelle swore she would never tell a soul about what happened that October afternoon, a promise that eventually she couldn’t keep.
A/N: Huge thanks to tehcutiestEM for the wonderful chapter image. Please Review. :)
Chapter 2: Seriously, Sirius?
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
Sirius’ face, upon Lily’s revilement of the news, was uncharacteristically calm. “Lily,” he began in a very serious tone, “I think this is the time that I should tell you that I’m really—a woman.” At the last syllable Sirius burst out laughing. “Honestly, Lily,” he managed to mumble in-between fits of his bark-like laughter, “if that isn’t the most ridiculous thing I have EVER heard.”
A/N: Huge thanks to tmh4536 and irish_dorcas for the reviews, I really appreciate it. If anyone else is reading please review-- I love to get feedback even if it consists of the good, the bad and the ugly. This chapter is not overly long, but I had to finish a bit more of the past before I forwarded back to the present. Hope you enjoy. I enjoyed writing it, giving Sirius' personality a different kind of twist.
Please Review. : )
Huge thanks to tehcutiestEM for the wonderful chapter image.
Chapter 3: Chaos, Contempt, Confusion, Convolution...
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
Silent tears ran down Isabelle’s face as she pulled herself back into the present. She knew that reminiscing and playing the scenes of the past six months over and over in her head wouldn’t change her current situation, if anything, it would just upset her even more. She curled up in her four-posted bed holding her stomach and wanted, ever so dearly, for all her troubles to disappear. Isabelle turned her vision to what used to be her favorite mirror; the mirror was now cracked down the center and an old blanket was carelessly thrown over it. Mirrors were the only thing that showed her for what she truly was and for the past five months she avoided them like the plague.
Professor Dumbledore was notified immediately of Isabelle’s predicament and she was soon after called up to his office for tea. Isabelle had taken great pride in never being called into Dumbledore’s office before this moment and even though she was petrified of being there she convinced herself that she could handle talking to Dumbledore one-on-one—that is until she sat down in the office and realized that Professor McGonagal and Madame Mirr would also be present.
The four of them sat in the office for a few minutes, each waiting for another to talk before Dumbledore cleared his throat and asked Isabelle if she wanted a lemon drop. She then automatically burst into tears, saying how truly sorry she was and how she really didn’t have any idea what she was going to do, or how she was going to handle it.
Dumbledore was kind enough not to badger her about the paternity of the father, but there were other matters that were just as pressing. Even though the conversation was supposed to be brief the four still talked for over an hour. In the end, it was agreed to keep the child a secret from Isabelle’s parents until she decided to tell them when she was out of school. The only basis for this decision was the fact that Isabelle was already seventeen and considered an adult in the magical world. With a little help from Madame Mirr, Isabelle would be able to hide her pregnant figure with weekly doses of a potion. The only way to see what Isabelle truly looked like was through a mirror. Sadly, all teachers would be informed of Isabelle’s condition because of the unavoidable morning sickness and mood swings.
The only people that knew of the situation were the teachers, the Marauders and Lily; they all did their best to keep it a secret even if it meant blocking her from mirrors as they walked through the corridors.
“Isabelle, you broke this mirror too?” Lily lightly questioned. She had just walked back into the dormitory carrying a tray of food for Isabelle since she had refused to come down to dinner that night. She put the tray on her bed and started to tidy up the room. “Have you talked to Sirius?” she asked, knowing what the answer was but still trying to remind both of them that at one time or another they would have to talk.
“As a matter of fact, I have,” Isabelle coolly answered as she could see Lily’s demeanor perk up.
Isabelle moved her fork nonchalantly through her mashed potatoes. “He asked me to pass the butter.”
Lily had been trying to get Sirius and Isabelle to talk to each other for the past six months and her attempts had been fruitless, so far, but she wasn’t the type to be giving up just yet. She was convinced that each, in their own way, was suffering from a severe case of denial.
She cleared her throat and started to fold Isabelle’s clothes. Isabelle had given up on tidying up her room and basically left everything where it was. Lily, on the other hand, hated messes and cleaned up after Isabelle. Usually she would’ve never put up with tidying up after a friend, but these were special circumstances. In fact, she really had put up with a lot over the past six months. Isabelle was proving to be a very difficult pregnant teenager. Her morning sickness, in the beginning, was almost unmanageable; Isabelle could barely get out of bed in the morning. Her cravings were extremely odd; the first five months all she could eat were grapes, but now she hated grapes with a passion and all she wanted was vanilla frosting. Lily, like a good friend, helped Isabelle out as much as she could without making a scene so other people would never find out. To be quite honest, though, she really couldn’t wait until these nine months were over.
Lily was about to say something to Isabelle along the lines of her usual lecture of how she and Sirius should definitely talk like mature adults when there was a knock at the door. Isabelle flicked her wand and the door opened to reveal Sirius’ right hand man, James Potter.
He was holding a Daily Prophet as he rushed in; he looked quite frantic. “Again, another one, Lily! I can’t believe this anymore, fifteen murders in two days!”
Fifteen murders was an unusually high number, it was usually four or five. The wizarding world, as well as the muggle world, were becoming inundated with news of a so called ‘Dark Lord’ that was on the rise throughout Europe. The muggle world believed him to be a part of a religious cult and the Ministry agreed to let them believe their theory, in fact, they even egged it on a bit. The Ministry of Magic was forced to realize that this wasn’t the act of a cult, but of a wizard. Through further digging it was revealed that this Dark Lord was a young wizard by the name of Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle, upon graduating Hogwarts set off across the world in search of the darkest magic that he could possibly find. Along his way he also gathered followers, he now called these followers his Death Eaters and he also dubbed himself Lord Voldemort. Voldemort and his followers were now wreaking havoc on all of Europe and slowly starting to branch out into Asia.
There were over two-hundred murders, to date, and the number was constantly growing. Not all were murdered by Voldemort, of course, but it was under his command. It now became a ritual to read the Daily Prophet from cover to cover in search of any information that they could possibly get their hands on, as well as the names of people that were either missing or dead. So far, ten students at Hogwarts were directly affected by one of the murders that Voldemort committed.
Lily shook her head and sat down on her bed. “Anyone that we know?” she queried, like she did everyday.
“Thankfully not,” James piped in. “It’s more the principle of the thing, Lily. We’re graduating and this is what we’re going to be thrust out into; a world filled with chaos, contempt, confusion, convolution…”
Lily couldn’t help but smile. “Stop being so melodramatic, James. You know as well as I do that we’ll deal with it.”
James closed the Daily Prophet and put it down on the foot of Isabelle’s bed. “I don’t know if you’ve read today’s paper. There are a few articles that are quite good, I don’t know if you’re interested.” James sounded quite ridiculous when in fact all he was trying to do was attempt, in his own way, to make Isabelle feel better. He felt, dare he say, guilty about the whole situation. Sirius was his best friend and yet he couldn’t manage to get him to talk to Isabelle for anything. Whenever he brought up the subject Sirius would conjure up impermeable ear plugs and stuff them in his ears or play music so loud that it was virtually impossible to hear James speak.
“Thank you,” Isabelle answered in a meek voice. She hadn’t been the same around James, Peter or Remus since the ‘accident’. She wasn’t unpleasant or anything, but she just mainly kept to herself.
“JAMES POTTER,” a voice screamed. There were a series of extremely large thumps; someone was climbing up the stairs. Sirius appeared at Lily and Isabelle’s door, “Prongs—,” he began, panting, but immediately stopped dead in his tracks when he realized that Isabelle was in the room.
Everyone was automatically silent and Sirius and Isabelle stared at each other. They didn’t say a word, but you could see Sirius’ jaw tighten and Isabelle’s eyes fill with rage. Lily and James were caught in the middle discreetly looking at each other in hopes that the other had an idea of what to say, but nothing surfaced.
Isabelle took the initiative and made the first move; she closed the curtains around her bed to block everyone in the room from view. Sirius, though, looked as if there wasn’t a curtain drawn. His eyes still stared intently on the drapery with the same amount of anger as moments earlier. All of a sudden though, his jaw unclenched and he released his fingers from digging into the palm of his hand.
“Why is the mirror broken?” Sirius questioned as if nothing had just happened. Lily began to say something but Sirius cut her off. “Oh, Isabelle and that thing, right, yeah—“
The drapes around Isabelle’s four posted bed flew open in a fury. She jumped off the bed and made her way right towards Sirius. Usually people stop when they’re in front of the person they want to speak with, but Isabelle kept going until she reached Sirius, pressed her hands into his chest and shoved him against the wall. “God dammed, why can’t you just say it Sirius?! It’s not that thing, it’s a child! Our child!”
Lily and James crept towards the door silently so neither would realize that they were leaving. Sirius was left absolutely speechless and trying to string together a few words to verbalize his feelings. His worst fear, his denial, the thing he was trying to avoid for months was now standing right in front of his face and there was no avoiding it, there was no running from it anymore and no more ridiculous excuses to hide behind.
Tears started to stream down Isabelle’s face. Her hands were still on Sirius’ chest pushing him into the wall. She moved them slightly and so that she gripped his robes tightly. Isabelle looked up at him and stared at him straight in the eyes. “Say something,” she pleaded.
A/N: Terribly sorry about the shortness of the last chapter. Hopefully this one will make up for it. Thank you so much for the reviews, it means so much—honestly. As for Lily snapping at Sirius, it’s like anyone who is extremely frustrated—they say things that they don’t necessarily mean. I hope to crack the mold with Lily Evans; she’s a kind and genuine person, but she’s normal and she has flaws. As for Sirius’ behavior, it can be viewed as denial. There is one paragraph in there that takes a psychological spin on the situation—how he’s unable to cope and deal when he’s never really had to do that before. I want to make the characters as realistic as I possibly can, well, besides the fact that they can do magic.
Please review. :)
Huge thanks to tehcutiestEM for the wonderful chapter image.
Chapter 4: Comparable to Devil's Snare
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
Thirty seconds later Isabelle was still clutching Sirius' robes while she cried, but she didn't dare disconnect the eye contact that she had with him. "Say anything," she managed to say in a high cracked voice.
Sirius stood there completely still looking at Isabelle. Her strong exterior was completely torn away and she was standing in front of him, crying and pleading. She was completely vulnerable, in every way imaginable. This wasn't the Isabelle that he once knew. The Isabelle that he knew would be able to handle the weight of the world on her shoulders; she took everything in stride and made the best of even the worst situations. That's what originally attracted Sirius to her. He could remember like it was yesterday:
"Isabelle, look at me!" Sirius commanded. It was the beginning of the second term during their sixth year, right after Christmas break and Isabelle had just returned to the castle. She had spent the vacation with her mother and her step-father in the Alps.
He was pulled back to the present where Isabelle was no longer calm and collected; she was truly suffering within herself. Sirius moved his hands, pried Isabelle's hands off his robes and held them in his own. He took a deep breath, let go of Isabelle's hands and moved forward, wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Sirius put his chin on top of her head and whispered a barely audible, "I'm sorry."
He felt Isabelle quiver in his arms and press her face deeper into his chest as she started sobbing heavier than before. Sirius let her continue to cry and he looked across the room at Isabelle's bed and closed his eyes. What had he done? How could he have been so foolish? So ignorant? He had been so stoic for so long that it felt like he was unable to feel.
Isabelle pulled herself away from Sirius and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her cloak. Her blonde hair fell in front of her face and even with a mangled look she still radiated beauty and strength. She looked up at the man in front of her to finally see emotion in Sirius' eyes. His usual sparkle in his grey eyes was concealed by a sadness in which she had never seen upon his face.
Sirius took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his jet black hair. "I can't promise you that everything is going to be alright," he began, slowly while choosing his words carefully. "I-I-I-don't know what I'm supposed to be—err—doing, but I can try to help. It is as much as my mess as it is yours."
She didn't answer him but just nodded; she understood. She didn't expect Sirius to be her knight in shinning armor. She didn't expect him to make everything better , but she was grateful and genuinely relieved by his few words.
The Marauders and Lily half expected Sirius and Isabelle to get back together automatically and for Sirius to have some sort of epiphany, but neither of those events happened. The pair was friendly, but not overly friendly or emotional towards each other. They seemed more like acquaintances, but in all honesty it was a far cry from where they were originally. Sirius didn't have any sort of revelation or epiphany either, he was still uneasy about the fact that he was going to be a father in a few months, but he was slowly, yes, slowly, getting used to the idea.
"Sirius Junior!" James cackled. Sirius, Remus and James were lounging around an empty Gryffindor common room on a Sunday afternoon. Well—it was more like Sunday morning for the boys because they had just woken up, but for all intensive purposes it was actually noon.
Sirius wished James would stop reminding him of the situation, so he attempted to ignore him. He knew that ultimately James would start up again on the whole 'baby' topic, but pretending he didn't hear him would definitely give him a good five minutes. It wasn't as though he didn't know what was awaiting him in a month; it was just that he hoped that the month would go by as slow as possible. With each day ending he knew it was just a matter of time before he really had to sit down with Isabelle and discuss their plans.
"James Black!" James bellowed and Sirius was sincerely disappointed that his silence only lasted about thirty seconds instead of the predicted five minutes.
Remus let out a chuckle. "What happens if it's a girl, James?"
James screwed up his face in concentration and stuck is wand tip in his mouth. "James-la!"
"Would you two stop it?" Sirius had finally come out of his silent mode and entered the conversation. He knew that Remus couldn't help himself and James was—well, James, was—James.
Remus sat up straighter in his cushy Gryffindor chair. "You know," he began, directing his attention towards Sirius, "you are going to have to face the fact that you're going to be a father in a month. I know you don't want to hear it, but it's the truth."
Sirius would've cleverly retorted to get himself out of an awkward situation if he found the words, but Remus was right, so Sirius just sat there looking at the fire.
"You can't just run away from home when things aren't going your way, Sirius," Isabelle commented. Isabelle was sitting at the edge of the lake with her feet just dangling above the surface. Every now and then she would let her big toe touch the water to cause a ripple effect and the surfacing of a snapping turtle looking for some afternoon snack.
"He knows!" Lily burst into the Gryffindor common room with a look of sheer horror upon her usually calm face. She ran her fingers through her auburn hair out of frustration and began cursing in what seemed to be French.
The three boys in the common room sat there perplexed. James was just about to speak up when Isabelle walked into the room behind Lily. Isabelle's face was gaunt and her cheeks sunken into her face. Her usual bright eyes were robbed of all their sparkle and she held her non-existent stomach with both arms.
"What—?" Remus took the initiative and asked the question on the other boy's minds.
Lily stopped cursing in French and looked at Remus and then back to Isabelle. A moment prior she had been filled to the brim with what seemed to be an overwhelming amount of diatribe and now she was silent.
"Snape saw my reflection in a mirror, quite clearly," Isabelle managed to choke up. Even though it was barely audible everyone heard it loud and clear.
A/N: Hi everyone!! Thank you so much for the reviews!! Each and every one truly puts a smile on my face! I hope everyone likes this chapter. I wanted to give more insight into the important aspects Isabelle and Sirius' past. As I showed there, she challenged Sirius to elaborate and wasn't the type of girl that was completely mesmorized by him. Also, we see that Isabelle pureblood and their families intermingle and, most importantly, her step-father is a Death Eater. She isn't the perfect girlfriend and she doesn't have the perfect life, but she's trying to work through it the best that she knows how.
Please Review : )
HUGE thanks to tehcutestEM for the amazing chapter image!!
Chapter 5: Accio Pillow
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
“H-h-how did he see? It was Lily’s turn to be on guard and surely Lily wouldn’t let anything slip. No, no, no, not Lily Evans,” James softly spoke to no one in particular. In fact, he seemed to be speaking to himself in the strangest of ways.
Lily looked absolutely horrified. “Oh, God, Isabelle, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to, I looked away for a second! I didn’t think that there was anyone around!” She collapsed into an oversized and overstuffed red-velvet Gryffindor chair and made a grab for a shabby pillow to bury her face in and scream into it.
“I’m sure she didn’t mean to, Isabelle.” Remus added his tidbit in hopes to stick up for Lily just in case Isabelle was thinking otherwise.
Isabelle didn’t answer, she was still holding her non existent stomach and staring into oblivion.
No one in the room voiced a single syllable for the next few moments; all eyes were intently on Isabelle and what her next move was. Isabelle, on the other hand, didn’t seem to notice that her five friends were staring intently at her waiting for a reaction. Her mind drifted to the possible outcomes of her current situation. She could now visualize the next forty-eight hours of time clearly in her head: Snape would undoubtedly tell the Slytherin’s about her little secret and then word would travel like wild-fire throughout the whole school, until everyone knew. Worst of all, word would get back to Isabelle’s family and she couldn’t bare to think of what would go through her mother’s mind when she finds out that her seventeen-year-old daughter is pregnant with none other than her best friends estranged and disowned son’s child.
A hand gently clasped itself on Isabelle’s shoulder; she knew that touch. “Isabelle, why don’t I take you upstairs, so you can rest for a while. There’s no use in staying down here in the common room waiting for the others to filter back in.”
She looked up to see Sirius’ face glaring down at her. He seemed worried and a bit nervous to be quite honest. His grey eyes were still filled with the same sadness that they possessed the night that the two finally began speaking again.
Isabelle looked towards Lily, as if she was looking for guidance on how to answer Sirius. Lily closed her green eyes and nodded; this gave Isabelle the signal that it was alright and she should really go lie down.
“C’mon, Izze,” Sirius softly voiced. He gently grasped her hand and pulled her towards the girl’s dormitory making sure he remembered Isabelle’s instructions on how to avoid the sixth step.
Sirius groaned and rolled over looking for the snooze button on his magical alarm the next morning. It was Monday; by far the worst day of the week. It consisted of double potions with Slughorn and Transfiguration with the ever solemn McGonagall. “Urghhh,” Sirius continued groaning when his attempts to hit the snooze button proved fruitless.
“Turn that blasted thing off, git!” James mumbled as a pillow came hurling itself towards Sirius, hitting him straight in the head. It was at times like these when Sirius loathed James’ accuracy due to Quidditch.
“If--err--I could--err--find the blasted button!” Sirius was obviously frustrated. He ultimately reached for his wand on his night stand and grumbled something under his breath so that the alarm clock spontaneously combusted and was no more than ashes within a few seconds.
Sirius, looking very pleased with himself, gently placed his wand back on the night stand, hugged James’ pillow and fell back into bed with a thump.
James, on the other hand, was now unable to go back to sleep and he so desperately needed the pillow that Sirius was clutching. With his eyes barely open he reached for his wand. “Accio Pillow.” The pillow wriggled itself out of Sirius’ grasp and into James’ hand; Sirius made a very foul symbol with his middle finger and James grinned.
It was at that moment that Peter sat upright in bed and bellowed, “Fire! FIRE!” He scrambled his fat bottom out of bed tripping over his sheets in the process of since he was tangled in them. He then proceeded to pick himself up and run straight into the closed door; he triumphantly landed on the ground with a very loud thud.
James, annoyed yet once again, sat upright in bed and looked around the room for his ‘beloved’ friend. “Get up, Wormtail,” he hissed. “It was just Sirius’ clock! He couldn’t find the snooze button, so he set it on fire.”
Peter put up his arm to acknowledge James. He then weighed his options, only to realize that it would take less effort for him to just fall asleep on the floor, not get back up and go into bed. Needless to say Peter remained on the floor.
Remus continued to sleep soundly through all of this commotion. After living with James, Sirius and Peter for almost seven years only loud fireworks going off three feet away from his head could manage to wake him.
Sirius sat uncomfortably in his designated chair at the dinner table while attempting to swallow food and look somewhat interested in the conversation that was going on around him. It was New Year’s Eve and Number Twelve Grimmauld Place was filled to the brim with the wizarding world’s most renowned and famous purebloods. There was a major emphasis on the word ‘purebloods.’
“WE’RE LATE!” A voice clamored.
Sirius awoke from his vivid dream and sat up with a start; Remus was running around the room looking for what seemed to be his shoes, James was pulling clean boxers over his pajamas until he realized that, that wasn’t the correct way to dress himself and Peter was still snoring loudly on the floor.
“Padfoot!” Remus yelled, again. “Class...Slughorn...fifteen minutes late...” While walking through the room and yelling at Sirius, Remus tripped over the sleeping Peter and flew headfirst into the wall.
“Wait? Does that mean we can’t go get breakfast? You all know that I can’t handle any thinking without breakfast! It’s a necessity!” James queried with a very serious look upon his face.
Sirius snorted and jumped out of bed and began looking for the cleanest looking clothes that he could find. He picked up a pair of socks, sniffed them, shrugged and pulled them onto his feet.
“GET AWAY FROM ME!” A girl’s voice from outside the boy’s dormitory screamed.
All four boys in the dormitory froze: James with his pants half down, Remus rubbing his head, Peter getting up off the floor and Sirius sniffing a pair of boxers, wondering whether to deem them clean enough to wear.
“ISABELLE!” Another girl’s voice yelled. There was a loud banging of what seemed to be a cross between the slamming of a door and the shattering of glass.
Peter began laughing. “Oh god, it’s Isabelle again. Seriously, what does she need this time. I mean-- don’t you guys agree that she’s really annoying? She’s actually pathetic, come to think of it.” This was Peter’s pathetic attempt on starting a good conversation with his friends.
Not a moment later there was the tip of a wand pressed firmly between Peter’s eyebrows. “Don’t you ever talk about Isabelle like that, again, Wormtail!” Sirius forcefully commanded with a flicker of anger in his grey eyes. He withdrew his wand from Peter’s head, stepped over him and headed towards the girl’s dormitory.
A/N: Hi! Thank you so much, once again for the wonderful reviews! I really do appreciate every single one of them! I wanted to wait until DH was out and people had time to read before I posted this. I hoped to add a bit of humor to the chapter, as well as show the bond between the Marauders (and their antics), without giving too much away with what's going to happen. :) Please note Sirius' reaction to Peter's insult.
Huge thanks to tehcutiestEM for the wonderful chapter image. Please Review. :)
Chapter 6: Heartbeat
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
Isabelle slammed her dormitory door behind her so hard that a vase holding fresh flowers fell off her dresser and shattered on the floor. Instinctively she turned around suddenly and pulled out her wand and muttered ‘Reparo.’ She threw her wand on her bed and went to sit on her window-sill; she knew she had only a few moments before Lily would barge in behind her.
She needed to collect herself, she couldn’t let the students of Hogwarts see her in the state she was at this moment. Isabelle knew something like this would happen ever since Snape had found out about her little secret. At the moment she felt weak, weaker than she had ever felt in her entire life. To be completely honest she felt a bit ashamed about the situation, she had always been the strong one, the one who never let anything get her down; now she was a complete mess.
“Isabelle!” Lily had barged in right behind her and closed the door. “I am so--”
As Lily was about to catapult into a very long winded speech concerning how very sorry she was about making sure no one saw her reflection in the mirror Sirius swung the door open and ran in towards Isabelle.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Sirius panted. He was half dressed upon barging into the girl’s dormitory; he had on a school shirt and tie, but he only donned boxers and socks on his bottom half. He had quite literally just woken up from a distant, yet very vivid memory of happier times between Isabelle and him and it was hard to shake the past out of the present.
Isabelle looked up at Sirius and gently got up off the bed to walk towards her school bag, which was thrown haphazardly near the window. She pulled out a few pieces of parchment and handed them to Sirius, his face hardened instantly. Upon the parchment were crude words of disgust about Isabelle’s pregnancy; everything they had worked so hard to keep secret for these past eight months was now in the open thanks to Severus Snape.
“People hexed her in the hallways,” Lily grudgingly added.
“The burns from the hexes will probably stay there for a few days, but I think I know something that Slughorn has in his office that may be able to make it heal a lot faster. I’m sure he’d give me some, let me go get it. Isabelle, is that okay?”
“She’ll be fine,” Sirius retorted in an almost arrogant manner, “I’m here.”
Lily condescendingly laughed. “Yeah, lot of good you did last time you were alone with her.”
“Lily, stop it!” Isabelle snapped; she was sticking up for Sirius, something she never thought she’d do again. “Yes, thank you, please go get whatever you think will work in Slughorn’s office.”
“God, Izze.” Sirius commented after Lily had left the room. He then pulled her into his chest and put his chin atop her head; the surprising thing was that Isabelle didn’t fight it, but she just folded into his chest. “I’m so sorry.”
Isabelle backed away from Sirius embrace and looked up at him. “It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?”
“I am in here to find out what was wrong, not to start another argument about what I did wrong or how the situation could be a lot better than it is now,” Sirius sneered. He saw the hurt that was almost automatically inflicted upon the girl in front of him and he recoiled. “Izze, I’m sorry. Please... just... I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.” Sirius now stepped away from Isabelle and turned his back on her has he walked to the window. He rested one hand on his hips and the other was leaning on the stone wall. “If I could take it back, I would. If I could have saved you from all of this, Izze, I would. I know it’s after the fact and there may be no use in me telling you this, but I have to be honest. I wish I never came back from Hogsmeade that day, it was against my better judgement. I knew you weren’t ready just for some twisted reason I convinced myself that you were-- Isabelle I knew it was wrong!”
There was silence in the room for a few moments and then Sirius felt a pair of familiar arms twist around his waist and pull him into a bittersweet embrace. Isabelle, for the first time since their ‘encounter’ many months ago had hugged Sirius on her own accord. This was something that may not mean much to many, but it meant very much to Sirius.
“Ouch!” Isabelle yelled as she jumped back from Sirius.
He was taken by surprise. “I’m sorry-- what did I do?”
Isabelle looked up into his gray eyes and smiled. “No, it’s not you, it’s him. He kicked me. He actually does that a lot sometimes, it gets to be quite annoying.” She walked back to the bed and sat upon it, unaware that Sirius was completely frozen at the other end of the room.
“Him?” Sirius stammered, trying to catch his breath. “We’re having a son?” He began to walk in circles in the girl’s dormitory with both hands griping through his trademark hair. Sirius was attempting to grasp something that, at the moment, seemed rather difficult. “A boy! A son! Our son!”
Isabelle watched Sirius walk around the room like a complete idiot without saying anything, she thought it was better to give him those few moments of sheer bliss before pulling him back into the bitterness of reality. She could’ve sworn, if only for a second, that she saw the sparkle return to his gray eyes. “Yes, I guess I didn’t tell you that.”
“What are we going to name him?” Sirius queried. He was now sitting on the foot of Isabelle’s bed with wide-eyed anticipation.
She looked down and started fidgeting with her nails. Of course that topic had came across her mind very often, but she never allowed her mind to pursue it. Isabelle hadn’t made up her mind on whether or not she was going to raise the child by herself or give it up to foster care. Naturally, she would love to have a child of her own, but there were many realistic limitations that were very clear. Isabelle’s family wouldn’t allot her any money for the child and she wasn’t trained in anything to make a career out of it. The smart thing to do would be to give the child up in hopes that he would live a far better life than she could’ve ever offered him.
“Isabelle?” Sirius questioned.
“I haven’t thought about it.”
Sirius started laughing is trademark bark-like laughter. “Isabelle,” he began as he narrowed his eyes, “you are one of the worst liars that I know, so I think you should just tell me what name you had in mind.”
She sat before him, defeated. It was probably easier to just give up now instead of dragging the lie further out. “Ambrose.”
“Ambrose Black,” Sirius said with an heir of great respect. He smiled haughtily to himself and looked towards Isabelle once again. “It’s perfect.”
Isabelle didn’t want to get into this conversation with Sirius. Conversations about baby names were sure to evoke emotions that would ultimately lead to attachments: something that she surely didn’t want. She tore her eyes away from Sirius’ glistening glare and rolled over onto her side, clutching her pillow for support.
“James could be the godfather!” Sirius, out of no where, shouted; he obviously took no mention to Isabelle’s lack of interest in the topic. “I’m sure he would do the same for me; but what about Remus? Surely he wouldn’t mind or maybe Ambrose can have two godfathers. Oh, and then there’s Lily as the godmother...”
As Sirius continued to rattle on about baby plans each and every word seemed to cut Isabelle like a knife. Each word was opening the wound that she had tried so hard to keep closed these past months. The answer to her nagging question was now clear: she couldn’t keep the child for herself and neither could Sirius. The child would undoubtedly be better off without their families, just as they both would have. The Pureblood world was far too complicated of a world to live in when one had other options.
Sirius sat on the foot of Isabelle’s bed rattling off thoughts about their son, when he noticed that she had become quite unresponsive to the conversation. “Isabelle?” he questioned. She still didn’t answer.
He shifted his weight and looked towards Isabelle curled up into a ball holding her pillow and repeated her name. To his dismay she still didn’t answer him. At this point Sirius got up off of the foot of his bed and went towards her, maybe she had fallen asleep.
“Isabelle!” Sirius called again as he shook her; she didn’t budge. She looked peaceful, as though she was sleeping, but upon closer inspection Sirius realized that she wasn’t breathing. “Isabelle!” he screamed again. He turned her over and put his ear to her chest--there was no noise, no heartbeat.
A/N: Hi, guys! Sorry this chapter took a little bit of time to write. I just started college and it's been more than hectic, as I'm sure many of you know. I've been writing in drips and drabs along the way and I've finally written enough to warrant a chapter. Now I have to jet to a two and a half hour practice and another class. Ugh.
I hope everyone is well! I have a lot of the story thought out already, so now I must string it all together. I hope everyone is enjoying it.
As always, please review. :)
And of course, huge thanks to tehcutestEM for the chapter banner :D
Chapter 7: Seize
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
“Someone, please help!” Sirius screamed as he frantically searched for some sign of a heartbeat from Isabelle. “Isabelle, Isabelle,” he coaxed hoping that she’d miraculously take in a deep breath of air and be perfectly fine. To his dismay she was lying absolutely still and there was really no heartbeat to be found.
Thoughts raced through Sirius’ mind: What should he do? Was there a spell that he had in the back of his brain? No, that was impossible. He heard Lily speak of something called CPR, but he didn’t remember how to do it.
“Sirius, what’s wrong?” James questioned as he walked into the room, he obviously took no notice to the urgency that was in Sirius’ voice.
“Not breathing, Isabelle is!” he managed to choke out.
It took a moment for James to comprehend what his best friend had just told him and then it hit him like a brick to the face. “What happened?” he yelled running towards the bed and checking Isabelle for himself. “Go get McGonagall!” James ordered.
“Like hell I will, you go get her. I’m staying with Isabelle!” Sirius shouted back.
“A dog running through the castle looks a lot less suspicious than a stag! Just make sure no one sees you change back,” he instructed. Sirius sadly knew he was right and now wasn’t the time to argue anyway. He turned on his heel and bolted for the dormitory door opening it and changing into his dog form in what seemed like milli-seconds.
Sirius sat with his back on the stone wall outside the infirmary door. His head was resting in his hand that was propped up by his flexed right knee. He had ran straight to Professor McGonagall’s office and notified her immediately about the situation. Sirius was then told to go alert Professor Dumbledore while she and Madame Mirr went to go retrieve Isabelle. By the time Professor Dumbledore and Sirius got back Isabelle was in the infirmary behind closed doors. Professor Dumbledore obviously filed in after her, but not before telling Sirius to kindly wait outside.
He was now left without any information regarding Isabelle’s condition and it was absolutely killing him. How could anyone forget that he was sitting out there waiting for some confirmation that she was alive and well?
She couldn’t die, she couldn’t leave him.
“Sirius...Sirius...Sirius!” James called shaking his friend by his shoulders.
Sirius looked gobsmacked--he really needed to quit daydreaming, it was undoubtedly unhealthy. It took a moment for him to snap back into the present moment, but once he did Sirius was back up on his feet faster than you could say ‘Quidditch.’ “What’s the news?” Sirius questioned hoping for an answer that he could deal with.
“I gave Lily your mirror, so she can talk to us while she’s inside the infirmary. She said that Isabelle is going to be alright, they’ve got her breathing normally again,” he happily stated.
A wave of relief washed over Sirius as he leaned back against the stone wall. “Thank Merlin,” he mumbled, his hands covering his face.
If Sirius was looking at James he would’ve seen him smirk. “You’ll always care about that girl, Padfoot, won’t you?”
Sirius snapped his head back up. “No--I--I’m--just--she--no--WHAT?”
“You know bloody well what I said--”
“No, I am just concerned because I got her into this mess,” Sirius commented. He dearly hoped that would be enough for James to keep his mouth shut for the next few hours.
“Hmm.” James seemed to ponder for a moment as he looked as though he was surveying his best friend. “How do I put this delicately,” he began with his hand on his chin. “You, Sirius Black, undeniably love her. You’ve loved her ever since first year, remember on the train you just had to point out this girl that you knew from back home. You’re no fool, Sirius, but it’s about time you’ve just come to grips with the facts and pulled your head out of the Black Lake.”
He was defeated. “I--”
There was a loud thump as Lily Evans walked out of the infirmary and shut the door behind her as she cut off Sirius. Her eyes were filled with tears and her body was visibly trembling. She leaned her back against the wall and slid down into a fetal position.
“Tell me she’s okay, Lily,” Sirius ordered.
Lily wiped her eyes with her robe sleeve and turned her piercing green eyes on Sirius. “She was okay--and...then--she--seize--she started seizing.”
Sirius slammed his fist into the stone wall.
“Madame...she...deliver...they’re delivering the baby...emergency...”
A/N: Hey, guys!! I think I got this chapter up a bit faster than my previous ones. I had a lot of fun writing it. Thanks for all the wonderful comments I appreciate each and every single one. Reviews fuel me to write more, so please review.
Chapter 8: Kismet
[Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]
“How’s Isabelle feeling?”
“I should be in there!” Sirius yelled out of no where. Both James and Lily stopped and looked at Sirius. “She needs me there.” He haphazardly grabbed at the knobs of the doors that led into the infirmary--it was undoubtedly locked.
Lily rolled her eyes, but James knew that she was about to launch into a diatribe concerning Sirius’ previous actions and how Isabelle didn’t need him for anything, so he touched her arm and discreetly shook his head. This was neither the time nor the place to start this conversation.
He lifted his right hand to silence his friend. “Just don’t, James, please?--”
When James went to retort, Lily gave him that ‘you’re-a-hypocrite’ glare; James immediately turned his back towards Sirius and walked towards a bench to sit on outside the infirmary. Lily decided, as well, to sit on the bench next to James, but this decision came out of more of a respect to let Sirius pace as he needed up and down the hall.
For the next thirty-two and a half minutes James and Lily would hold a conversation that was broken up into parts; they would only talk when Sirius was out of ear shot as he was pacing the corridor. It was a complicated conversation, one in which there was no correct answer, but a bunch of different suggestions and opinions that inherently didn’t mean much considering the events of the next few minutes, let alone days were a complete mystery. James mainly questioned Lily more intricately than Sirius about the events that happened behind the closed doors, questions and answers that Sirius wasn’t able to handle at the present moment.
“Did anyone say anything to you, specifically, though? I mean she began to seize and they calmly shooed you out?” James earnestly questioned. This was one of the first times that Lily actually witnessed a time where James wasn’t completely engrossed with himself and his friends.
Lily continued to recount the scenario as best as she could: “She was okay, her vitals were stabled and everyone in the room was happy with the progress that she made. I mean-- everything was fine, James-- and then, all of a a sudden she just started convulsing on the bed. Oh, God, it was the absolute worst thing I’ve ever seen. Madame Mirr started panicking and told Dumbledore that the baby needed to be delivered now and that St. Mungo’s should be contacted immediately. I guess she forgot that I was there until she heard me sobbing when the seizing wasn’t stopping and she told McGonagall to get me out of there, immediately. And so I’m here.”
He didn’t answer for a moment, actively pondering the situation. The most difficult thing about situations like this is that there isn’t much to do while you wait, except painfully depict the previous events. Consequently, this was the unhealthiest thing to do and made everything that much unbearable. “She needs to pull through, Lily, for Sirius.”
“She needs to pull through for herself, James, forget Sirius right now,” Lily snapped back as she wiped a fresh set of tears from her emerald eyes.
James shook his head. “You don’t understand,” he began. “He loves her so much, honestly, actually and truly. I know you think he’s some hard-headed-conceited-machoistic-moron, but he’s really, really not. He knows what he did and although you may have not noticed, he was bleeding destroyed after Isabelle became pregnant and they stopped talking--I’ve never seen him so depressed. When they finally began talking again, I could see the spark come back into his eyes. Lily, you don’t understand how much Sirius cares about her. From the first few weeks in our sixth year, Isabelle was the only thing that he saw. She was his first and last thought throughout the day. I don’t think he’d ever be the same without her.”
Lily Evans, the know-it-all Head Girl, was speechless.
The large and intricately embellished oak door opened slightly and Professor Dumbledore almost soundlessly slipped out. Sirius’ back was turned, though, but he was almost finished pacing down the hall so he would turn back around momentarily and see that news had finally come.
“Professor,” both Lily and James stated in unison.
“I’m sorry, I need to speak with Sirius, first and then I will address the three of you,” he calmly told them. It was understandable--frustrating, but understandable. The realization hit soon after though, that a speech to Sirius was needed--something was wrong.
Upon this realization Lily threw her arms around James and buried her head in his chest. Under normal circumstances James would’ve been thrilled, but during this time all he could do was pat her back and try to hold back tears.
“Sirius, please do have a seat,” Dumbledore offered once they were safely tucked away in his office.
Sirius stopped pacing the width of his office, shot him a nasty glare, and continued to pace. “Please, just say it,” he mumbled as he reached the chair in which he was supposed to sit. He stopped momentarily and gripped the back of it with both of his hands. “Tell me.”
It was Dumbledore’s hope that maybe he could calm Sirius before breaking the news to him. He thought that it would be less painful for him than to get even more riled up when he was already upset. At this point, though, he realized that it didn’t really matter.
“Here!” Sirius plopped down on the chair, unable to wait any longer.
“Now please, tell me.” He knew something was coming, and he began to brace himself--to attempt to become numb and uncaring about everything for he knew it would be far easier than facing the truth.
“Explaining the whole situation would make it easier to understand,” Dumbledore stated. He intertwined his fingers together on his desk and began: “For Isabelle, carrying a child at seventeen wasn’t something that her body adapted to very well. There may be a multitude of reasons why, but they are irrelevant in this conversation. The fact of the matter is that she wasn’t able to healthily carry the child until full term which is why unforseen complications arose and she ultimately lost consciousness and stopped breathing. As I’m sure Miss Evans informed you, with the help of Madame Mirr we were able to help Isabelle regain consciousness, but then she began seizing. At this point it was understood that the baby needed to be delivered immediately or both lives would be in danger. Before we could deliver the baby, though, Isabelle needed to stop seizing. It took a bit longer than expected, but then Madame Mirr surgically removed the baby as quickly as possible.”
“Please, just get it over with, tell me,” Sirius begged.
“Sirius, the baby was deprived of oxygen for far too long before we were able to get Miss Bontecou breathing on her own again. I am so sorry, we did everything we could. Isabelle is now stable, although she is asleep and most likely will be for some time.”
His mouth went dry, his chest tightened up and his right arm began to shake. “Ambrose...”
“Excuse me, Mr. Black, I don’t understand?”
“My son...” The words fell out of his mouth, burning as they toppled out.
Dumbledore reached his hand out to Sirius. “I am so sorry, Sirius.”
“I need to see her.”
“She’s not currently awake,” he calmly stated.
“I need to be next to her, Sir. I need to see her,” Sirius answered almost robotically.
Dumbledore nodded. “Yes, I believe that can be arranged.”
A week later Isabelle still hadn’t regained consciousness, which meant another whole seven days where Sirius refused to leave the infirmary. Lily was there as much as possible, giving Sirius a break to go to get food and take a shower, but aside from class Sirius was by her side. She looked peaceful almost as if a weight that had been weighing on her shoulders for the past eight months had been lifted. Of course she did not know the severity of the situation and Dumbledore would undoubtedly have to explain that she lost her child.
Professor McGonagal was hellbent on contacting Isabelle’s parents and after five days of negotiations it was finally agreed that they would be notified; they were scheduled to arrive promptly at noon on Saturday and while Lily urged Sirius to leave the infirmary so that he wasn’t in the line of fire, he refused.
“Isabelle,” Sirius whispered as he gripped her hand, “please wake up...please. I need you.” He needed to speak with her, he needed to tell her how he felt and most of all he needed to apologize for everything.
“Get away from her!” Edward Faulkner’s voice boomed throughout the infirmary. His rage was directed at Sirius. His cloak was long and black with crimson red trim and his coal black hair was the picture of perfection. “You were the cause of all of this ruckus, how dare you even be in her presence, you filthy little blood traitor.”
Isabelle’s mother looked stoic as she walked straight towards her daughter without even paying attention to her husbands most recent tirade. She buried her face in her daughters shoulder and hugged her daughter’s right arm.
“No,” Sirius firmly stated. He was going to stand his ground, he didn’t care what Edward’s connections with Voldemort and the Death Eaters entailed.
Edward’s face split into a sneer. “Do you know who you are dealing with, my dear boy?” He almost whispered, the threat behind his words were real.
He decided to completely ignore the last comment in hopes to show that it didn’t matter to him. “I’m not leaving her,” he retorted. “I don’t care, I have every right to be here.”
“I can’t believe that we once thought your union was something to be proud of. You’re a disgrace to your family and friends, Sirius Black, and even more so for what you have done to my daughter. I could kill you, you know.” It was obvious that Edward’s blood pressure was raising as he gripped the back of one of the chairs in the infirmary. “You will leave, immediately. You will never speak to her again and you will pretend you never met her--”
At this point Sirius had let go of Isabelle’s hands and stood up, pushing his chair back from the force. “I will never, ever forget her,” Sirius raged. “Isabelle is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I refuse to let her go, just because you don’t think that I’m fit to be with her. I don’t care what you think, I love her.”
Isabelle’s mother immediately looked up upon his last words. She looked confused and angry all at the same time.
“Where is he?” a cracked voice that was barely audible stated. All three heads whipped around to the bed in which Isabelle lay; she was finally awake.
“Oh, sweetheart!” Isabelle’s mother stammered. “You gave us a right scare,” she cooed while tucking her daughter’s hair behind her ear.
“What happened?” Isabelle ignored her mother and continued with inquiry. “Where is Ambrose? Why isn’t he here?” She started to look panicked.
“Isabelle,” her father decided to speak. “How are you feeling?”
“What is going on?” She implored as she looked towards Sirius. “You won’t lie to me,” she commanded him. “What happened, Sirius? Where is he?”
It must have been the look upon Sirius’ face that caused Isabelle to begin breathing deeply and ultimately hyperventilate. “No!’ She began to cry as her mother rocked her back and forth. “No...” The tears were now freely flowing down her cheeks.
“I think it’s time for you to leave, Sirius,” Edward stated.
“No, Isabelle doesn’t want me to leave,” he answered as he looked towards the girl in the hospital bed.
Isabelle attempted to catch her breath as she tried to sit up. “Yes, I do, Sirius.”
A/N: I am terribly sorry about the obnoxiously long delay between chapters. Most of this chapter has been written for quite some time, but I never got around to finishing it up and posting it.
I know I was off for a month from school and I should've, but I ended up being a bum and going to Florida with a friend of mine. Now I'm back in school and completely BURIED in work.
So again, I am so sorry for the delay. I hope you like this chapter, it'll probably get changed a bit... not the idea, but the sentence structure and such. I appreciate everyone that has been reading and reviewing...you're all amazing. I also hope you don't all hate me for what I just did. :X It's necessary...