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Chapter 5: Messing Everything Up
The first month at Hogwarts had flown by incredibly quickly, which was surprising as not that much had happened. My morning sickness was finally starting to become weaker and less frequent and James and I had made some forms of conversation in Potions. However, in the past month there had been one event which took place: Quidditch trials.
Al Potter was captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team due to his outstanding skills which he inherited from his father and grandfather and not to mention his mother, former captain of the Holyhead Harpies. Al had to hold trials for the new school year, but this was no easy feat, as he explained to me:
“Do you remember last year’s trials, Vi?” he asked, cutting up his steak and kidney pie.
“Yeah, course I do, packed full with first-years all hoping to get new brooms from their parents.” I chuckled, eating some toast.
“Mmm, it’s a shame that’s not going to happen this year, not to say that I liked the first-years being there, but there’s always one hidden talent amongst them.”
“What? Why wouldn’t they be there?” I asked confusedly.
“It’s McGonagall. She’s banned all first-years from playing on the school teams.”
“Apparently there were some complaints from Sean Park’s parents after he fell off his broom last year, causing the governors to persuade, or should I say force, McGonagall to disallow first-years from playing.”
“What?! But that’s ridiculous! Some of the best players started playing for their houses when they were first-years! Like your dad!”
“I know, I know, but at least everyone from last year’s team is still here, so if everyone does well in the trials then hopefully we’ll win the cup again.”
“Erm, actually Al, I’ve been meaning to speak to you about that… I’m not going to try-out this year.” I said anxiously. I’d been part of the Slytherin Quidditch team since my third-year playing seeker just like my Dad.
“WHAT?! But Vi, you’re the best seeker in the whole of Slytherin house! And it’s your last year here, why wouldn’t you try-out?” he replied angrily.
“Well that’s exactly it, Al, as you said it’s my final year at Hogwarts and I really want to focus on my classwork and revision.” I lied. I desperately wanted to continue playing but I knew that because of the baby I couldn’t. I’m sure that if Albus knew Quidditch might harm his niece or nephew then he’d be more understanding, but as he doesn’t know, I guess lying through my teeth really was the best option.
“Viola Malfoy! That is the most pathetic excuse I’ve ever heard! You’ve got to play! We can’t win without you!”
“I’m sorry Al, I really am but I’m afraid that I’m not changing my mind.”
“Fine! Have fun studying.” He exclaimed before storming off out of the Great Hall.
‘That went well.’ I thought cynically. If only I could have told Al the truth, but then he’d probably be even more angry with me for sleeping with his brother. It was all just one big mess.
After dinner I trudged down to my dorm and changed into my pyjamas. It was only then that I noticed something. A bump. It was only small but still slightly visible under my cotton pyjama shirt. ‘Shit!’ I thought, ‘this is really happening!’ I hadn’t given much thought to the fact that pregnancy is a visible thing. I guess I’d been too preoccupied with homework and trying not to be sick. It finally dawned on me that this bump was being made by a baby, a real human being. A child! A child with a Mum and a Dad, James and I, parents! ‘Bloody hell!’ I thought, ‘I’m going to be a mother!’ No longer was there any doubt in my mind. I had to keep this baby, I already felt too maternally attached to it to let go. I’d have to tell James, my parents, Scorpius, Al, Lily, Becca, Joanna and just about everyone else in my life, maybe even my cat, but I didn’t care. I was having this baby no matter what.
The next weekend was a Hogsmeade one. The prospect of this used to excite me but now the whole thing just seemed so childish that sometimes I didn’t even bother to go. However, this weekend wasn’t any old Hogsmeade weekend as I was going to hospital to have my first prenatal scan. I decided to go to a muggle hospital as I didn’t want to bump into any familiar faces at St. Mungo’s, for instance, my parents or any of their friends.
As soon as Ieft the Hogwarts gates, I subtly disapparated onto a busy muggle street in Manchester and found myself stood outside of a large hospital. The woman at reception told me to stay in the waiting room on the third floor until my name was called. To my horror, the room was full of middle-aged pregnant women looking smug with their handsome husbands and terribly polite children. ‘Great, just what I wanted, a bunch of judgemental, patronising people to pity me’ I thought bitterly. I sat awkwardly on a small chair, waiting for what seemed a lifetime for my name to be called. I was receiving glares from all around the room. I was the only teenager there and subsequently the odd one out. Nearby I heard a woman mutter to her husband “Kids these days, they all just jump at sex and expect no consequences. I bet the father’s a druggie too, they always are at that age.” I was just about to shout a response at the woman when a door opened behind me and I heard a female voice call my name.
“Yep.” I muttered as I walked towards the doctor’s room. She raised her eyebrows slightly at me but then her face relaxed into a smile as she welcomed me into her room.
“Hello there, I’m Dr. Johnson,” She said, “How are you feeling today Miss. Malfoy?”
“Alright I guess.” I murmured, still angry at the ignorant woman in the waiting room.
“Good, good! Now, you’re here for your three month check-up, am I correct?”
“Okay, brilliant, well let’s see how baby is!” her voice was starting to grate on me now, but I guess my anger was just my inner Malfoy coming through.
I lay on a clinical-looking bed wrapped in white paper and lifted up my shirt so that my now fully-visible bump was exposed. Dr. Johnson then smeared a cold gel on my stomach and moved some strange muggle device over it. Suddenly, a picture appeared on the monitor beside me. On the screen was a small white being with tiny legs and arms and a very large head. It was so weird yet so beautiful that I began to cry. This was my little baby and I closer to it than ever before. The doctor then let me hear the baby’s heartbeat and I cried even more.
Eventually Dr. Johnson left the room to print off a picture for me, which I put in my pocket for safe-keeping. It was so magical, more magical than any spell or incantation. It was a real baby and it was mine.
I disapparated back to the Hogwarts gates and was just about to walk into the school’s grounds when I heard a voice behind me.
“Vi? What’re you doing?” asked Albus Potter.
“Al! You scared me!” I exclaimed.
“Don’t try and change the subject Viola. I saw you, just then! You disapparated.”
“You’re not allowed to leave Hogwarts during term time.”
“Yeah well… I had something to do.”
“And what was that?”
“Look Al, I know I angered you but you have no right to know my private business!” I said heatedly. I began to walk off until suddenly Al called my name again.
“Viola! You dropped something.” He said, going to pick something up. Oh no. It was the baby picture.
“Er, Vi, what’s...” he said, trailing off as he picked up the picture.
“That’s nothing!” I shouted anxiously, snatching the picture off him.
“That’s not nothing Viola. I’m not stupid you know! You’re pregnant, aren’t you?!” he said, his eyes widening.
“So that’s why you’ve given up Quidditch! God, what the hell were you thinking Vi? You’re seventeen for goodness’ sake!” he shouted.
“I didn’t plan this Albus!”
“Yeah well you still had sex, didn’t you?! Who’s the father anyway, or do you not know?” He was getting really nasty now. He had always been nice around me so his behaviour was quite surprising.
“That’s none of your business, and of course I know who the father is, you prat! I’m not some slag!”
“That’s what they all say.”
“Oh yeah, like you’d have any idea!”
“You’ve messed up everything Viola!”
“Oh no, I’m truly sorry if your niece or nephew has ruined your chances of winning some Quidditch games!” Oh fuck. Did I actually just say that? There was silence for a moment until Al spoke again.
“Nothing.” I replied hastily.
“Viola, tell me what you just said.” He was seething now. I thought I could even see a glimmer of tears in his bright green eyes.
“It was nothing Al, honestly.” I said quietly.
“You slept with James, didn’t you.” He said surprisingly calmly so that I couldn’t work out his emotions. I remained silent and just looked at my shoes.
“TELL ME, VI!” He was properly shouting now, it was actually quite scary.
“Yes...” I said, seeing no other way out of it now.
“Merlin, Vi! Out of anyone you could have slept with it had to be my brother?! And now you’re pregnant? How could you do this? Does he even know?” he spat. He was properly crying now. I knew he’d been having a long-running feud with James ever since Al was sorted into Slytherin, but I never knew he hated him this much.
“I’m sorry Al, I never meant for any of this to happen! It was a mistake! Please don’t tell James!” I said, now fighting back my own tears.
“Just leave me alone.” He said emotionlessly, walking off. All the elation I had been feeling after the scan was now gone. Al was right, I really had messed everything up and it felt horrible.