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Chapter 12: Getting Closer
"...I don't care, Malfoy. You were acting like a total arsehole, so now you've to say sorry to Lyra," comes Pansy's loud screaming from the living room. I've been locking myself in my room for the last two hours, reading Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy – a book that I found from the bookshelve.
"Alright, alright. I'm going now. But, I'm sure she's not going to hear me out," Draco says, his voice getting closer.
"That's your problem. You are, after all, her father," Pansy snaps. "You go figure something out. In the mean time, I'll be off to see the Healer for my weekly check-up. I expect Lyra's forgiven you when I see you again. Understand?"
"Yes, Mother," Draco mumbles. I silently giggle upon hearing their conversation. I hear Pansy's steps retreating, and then Draco knocks my door gently.
"Lyra, I'm sorry," he says. I simply ignore him. "Lyra, please, open the door."
Again, I ignore him. He sighs heavily.
"I was busy, dealing on contracts. You probably have heard that I'm still handling the Malfoy Company, not only being a Quidditch player. If something wrong happens, I'll lose the company and practically everything I have. I'm really sorry for everything. I didn't mean to act like a – " his answer is cut off when I slam the door open. I almost forgive him instantly when I look at him; smiling wide like a child with eyes looking hopeful.
But it needs more than hopeful expression to get my forgiveness.
"Like a dick?" I spit out, glaring at him – which is a bit hard, because I need to look up at him. He's really tall, it's almost inhuman.
There's a pregnant pause before he answers. "Yes. Like a total dick... Will you please forgive me?"
"No," I say, and the hopeful look on his face drops literally.
"Do you really expect me to forgive you that easily? Of course not! For one, Draco Malfoy, your mood-swing is really terrible, I find it even more irritating than Lily Potter's. For another, I'm tired with all of it. One minute you're acting all nice and charming, and then you're acting like a cold-hearted bastard. It takes more than you're hopeful look and smiles to have my forgiveness."
His face looks all sad and hurt, but I think I was just imagining that. He's now looking impassive, like he always has. He nods his head shortly before saying, "Okay. I understand. If you don't want to forgive me now, it's okay. But, I really am sorry, Lyra. And I hope you'll forgive me later."
"Not today," I say. He nods his head again, as if he confirms my statement.
"There's food in the kitchen. If you need anything, I'll be in my room," he says, and makes his way to his room. I close the door slowly, feeling tired all of the sudden. I throw the book in my hand, and throw myself on the bed.
"Mum, why should you be in love with such an infuriating jerk and had me with him?" I mumble as I my eyes flutter shut, falling asleep.
When I wake up, it's almost 6 o'clock. I wake up at the sound of impatient knocks on my door. Cursing faintly with profanities that I'll never dare say in front of Ginny, I open the door. I find no one there, only an envelope next to my feet, and a box of my favourite Muggle chocolate. I pick up both items and hold the box carefull with my right arm, before opening the envelope. There's a small card inside it, with Draco's elegant hand writting.
"Meet me in the balcony in one minute," I read aloud. As soon as I finish reading it, a timer appears on the corner of the card, showing the seconds I've left.
And so on...
I waste no time and run quickly toward the balcony. In less than twenty seconds, I'm already standing in front of the door that separates the balcony and the living room. Draco's standing beside furry white carpet, wearing a dark-blue shirt and black jeans. He's his back on me, his attention is focused on something in front of him. There are boxes of chocolate and plates of cake all over the carpet, and bottles of soda. A small telly is sitting not far from the him, showing one of Mum's favourite movie that she and I used to watch together. I open the door slowly, and Draco turns around when I take a step closer toward him. He's a small smile on his face, and he looks more like my older brother than my father. Wind is blowing quite hard on us, causing me to wrap my arms around myself instantly. It's quite chilly, but it's not snowing yet. Still, with me only wearing a spaghetti-straps dress, I feel like freezing to death. Draco seems to notice so, and he casts a silent Warming Spell on me.
"Thank you," I say, sitting beside him.
"Why do you want me here?" I ask.
"To show you that." He points at the purple flowers all around us, which I didn't notice that before, and just right when the timer in the card rings, pixies jump out of the petals, dancing. It's probably the most beautiful sight I've ever seen.
"It's beautiful," I breathe. He nods.
"Yeah. Your mother showed me these same flowers to me just before..." Draco clears his throat awkwardly and continues with an almost audible voice. "Just before she went away. It was on this same day, you know; just fifteen years ago." He takes one chocolate randomly, and pops one into his mouth. I seriously can't tell whether he really is thirty or not. He looks so young.
"Take one, girl. It tastes delicious," he says. I take one, not that I really want to eat it. Merely for formality, just that.
We eat the chocolate and the cake in silent, and as cliche as it sounds, we feel comfortable with it. I know this is another of Draco's weird way of saying thank you, but I like it. This is one thing that Mum always says; Draco likes to pamper people he cares about. I don't want to get my hopes too high, but I can't help but to feel a bit happy. He's spent probably millions of Galleons for me, and although he's a right foul git, he's actually quite alright.
"I still miss her, you know," he says suddenly. It takes me awhile until I realise that he's talking about Mum. "I still feel like she was actually with me all along. Sometimes, I find myself staring randomly at some brunette woman with bushy hair, hoping that it's her. At night, I'll be having dreams- memories of our time together. I'll be honest with you, even when I'm...when I uh...when..."
I look away slightly, getting what he's on about. It's a bit unnerving when you hear your supposed-father talking about having that with another woman who's not your mother. Hearing my mum telling me stories of her doing it with Draco was already disturbing for me, hearing him doing this with Jackie is super disturbing.
"I get it already," I mutter. For some reasons, I feel myself blushing. "Just...just continue whatever you were going to say."
I swear, I think Draco smirks when he sees my reaction.
"When I have that, I sometimes say your mother's name, not Jackie's. And one day, you'll know how problematic that is for my relationship with her or any of my girlfriends... All of that is getting worse ever since you come into my life. The constant hoping of your mother being one of that many women I meet, the dreams that keep me awake all night long... It gets worse."
I look away for the second time that night, but this time, it's because of guilt.
"Don't get me wrong, though. I don't blame it all on you. I'm saying this because I want you to understand why I keep on acting cold and irritating to you. You remind me so much of her."
"I want to understand you, Draco," I say slowly. "But, you're so hard to understand. Sometimes, when I thing I've finally understood you, you show me another side of yours. You're a really difficult man to understand."
He smiles weakly. "I'm sorry for that. Your mother used to say that it was easier to understand a really difficult dark magic than to understand me. I suppose, she was right about one more thing, huh?"
I don't answer him because I've noticed something interesting. He always avoids mentioning Mum's name, always refering her as 'your mother'. Before I can stop myself, the question flies out of my mouth. "Why do you always refer Mum as 'your mother'? Why can't you just say her name?"
I expect him to look ashamed or even nervous, but he just shrugs nonchalantly. But, I can see it from the way he avoids eye contact with me by intentionally drinking his drink, he feels uneasy to talk about this. "I don't know. Her name has been something forbidden for me to say for the past few years. Yes, I still say her name in my sleep, but consciously, I can never find the guts to say her name out loud."
"I'm just scared, I guess. I'm scared that I won't be as strong I want to be if I keep on wallowing in the past. I don't want to be all moping and moaning like stupid Moaning Myrtle." I smile knowingly and grab his hand with mine. He whips his head around to look at me, his eyes wide open.
It seems like I've surprised him.
"Well, you can't always be strong all the time. There are times when you have to be vulnerable. It doesn't mean you're weak, it means that you're human," I say carefully, afraid that I'll offend. He smiles though, and for the first time ever, he caresses my cheek like I always imagined a father would to a daughter.
"See? This is what I mean by you reminding me of...Hermione. Even the way you talk, you're just like her. And right now, I feel like she was here with us, sitting just right beside me."
"Harry told me the those who loved us never really leave us. They're always in our heart," I say, scooting closer to him. It was my turn to be surprised when he wraps around my shoulder. It feels good.
"Hm, I bet he quoted that from Sirius Black?" I look at him, wondering how can he knows about that. He smirks and pulls me even closer. If this all turn up a dream, I think I'll pitch myself off this building.
"How can you – "
"Hermione said the same thing to me years ago," he says, looking forlorn. But, as if there was a switch, he's smiling really bright, like a child on Christmas. "Now, what do you think Muggle movies? Your mother forced me to watch all of her favourites every night we had a date. And believe me when I say I've enough of her screaming girlishly when her favourite actor appeared in the screen."
The both of us laugh. "Yeah, she liked to do that. I used to hate her when she did that, but now... Can't say that I do anymore. I mean, Muggle actors are really attractive."
Draco cringed. "Oh, not him! I don't need you to say that too! I've Pansy to do that, thank you very much."
"Well, what can I say? They really are hot." I laugh happily when Draco makes a face at my statement.
"I always know Muggle movies are ruining young girls. Just remember one thing, girl, if one day I find you and Pansy making some stupid fans-club, I'll seriously consider kicking you out from the team."
"Who are you to make such decision? You're not my coach." I try to sound all angry, but with Draco smirking smugly like an annoying eighteen year old bloke, it's a bit hard to do so.
"I'm your coach's Captain, and I also happen to be his boss since he starts to work in the Malfoy Company. So, yeah, I've all the rights to make such decision." I roll my eyes.
"You're such an arse."
He smirks and, believe it or not, he smears his chocolate-covered index finger across my cheek. I gasp loudly, touching my my face. His smirk, if possible, grows wider. "Aw, Lyra, afraid that a little chocolate will ruin your face?"
I glare at him, but it quickly changes into a smile when I secretly grab my glass of soda. Still smiling at him, I pour all of the contain over his head. He jumps away from me, staring dumbly at his drenched shirt. I can't resist the urge to laugh. His face looks so comical. "Don't worry, Draco. You're hair will be as girly as it's always been."
He mock-glares at me. "You did not just say my hair looks girly."
"I did," I say, laughing even harder.
"Take it back."
"Nope. No can do."
Before he can wrap his big arms around me, I run away from him. I run around the apartment in circle, giggling and laughing. Draco shouts my name along with some threaths that he'll tickle me to death. After ten minutes of running, Draco grabs his wand and Petrifies me. Smirking like a git he really is, he finally has me in his arms, and then lifts the spell of me. I glare at him and struggling all I can to escape.
"I hate you," I say when lets go of me. I throw myself on the couch, turning the telly on carelessly. The couch dips lower when Draco sits beside me. He embraces me and I, daring my luck, lay my head on his shoulder. He doesn't recoil, thank God.
"No you don't. I'm too charming," he says. I roll my eyes and pinch his hand lightly,
"You're a git."
"You're a brat."
I look at him in disbelief, but let the matter away. I still find it hard to belief though, that the Draco Malfoy wants to play around like a child.
"What? No more comebacks?" Draco taunts.
"Just shut up and let me watch in peace."
Draco laughs and nods his head. We end up watching the crappy show in silent. I'm hardly watching anything at all, my thoughts all on the blonde man who's actually the father I'd been looking for all this time. I don't really remember what happens next, but all I know, when I wake up, I'm already in my bed, a thick blanket is covering most of my body. I find a note on the coffee table, and a set of bottles of nail-polish. I know all of it from Draco. Smiling to myself, I take it and read it.
Sorry I've to go really early again. When you read this, I'm probably already away.
Tomorrow's you match, isn't it? Blaise and I are preparing everything, so don't worry your pretty head about not being home all day.
Blaise said today's practice will be at the same time, but it won't be long like usual.
I'm not gonna be there when you practice, but I'll be there on your match.
One more thing, we have dinner tonight, with Jackie. Call Pansy if you need anything.
See you tonight,
P. S.: I really enjoy last night. Tell me when you're craving on chocolate again.
I laugh heartily and make my way to shower.
Draco sure has a funny way of showing that he cares about me.
Eep! I really love writing this chapter. I'm getting sort of tired of writing irritating Draco.
Even the Draco in my head protests that he's not that rude.
The part where Draco mostly write notes to Lyra is inspired by my own father's habit. When he finds it hard to say what he wants to me out loud, he'll leave notes with little gifts to me; like chocolate or nail-polish. I always think my dad's habit is really sweet. My mum said that that was how my dad asked her to be his girlfriend. Thank God he didn't use notes to propose her :D
The book, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, is one of my favourite book (credits for John le Carré, people). I know most of you who have read the book are probably thinking it's almost impossible a fourteen year old would ever read such book, but I suppose Lyra's not a normal fourteen year old. She is, after all, the child of Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy ;) She's not normal at all, in a good way though.
Enough with all the rambling. Thanks for reading and please review!