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Chapter 1: What a sad, beautiful, tragic love affair.
Summary - 4 years ago, Liv Harris did the unthinkable and broke Teddy Lupin’s heart, breaking her own in the process. Now, Teddy is getting married to Victoire and Liv can feel the familiar shattering of her heart once more. Is what she did all those years ago too much to repair or will Liv have to finally face facts and move on with her life, a life without Teddy.
Disclaimer - Everything you recognise is owned by JK, i own only Liv and those associated with her.
amazing chapter image by AstoriaViana @ tda!
The pen was shaking in my hand as I tried to scrawl the words down on paper.
Those two words carried more weight than they knew and they glared back at me, almost accusing me, like the recipient would. They were the last things I had planned to write down, I was usually more sophisticated than that, better with words. Yet that ability had suddenly left me at a time I needed it most and I was left with the only two words that said nothing about how I felt, reflected nothing that was contained within my heart.
And for that, he would hate me for all eternity. Teddy would hate me.
Looking at my packed bags, I felt the regret wash over me like an ocean wave and I felt my heart tell me to stay, to unpack those bags and put the items of clothing back in their drawers, where they belonged. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. There was a reason I had packed them, whether I could remember it or not at the moment in time. I turned away from the bags and looked around our bedroom, his bedroom now. It was everything familiar and foreign at the same time. His cigarettes on the bedside table and the Daily Prophet carelessly thrown onto the bed made me smile but the new aftershave on the dresser and the delicate silk tie on show, proudly in its box were unfamiliar to me. I wanted to ask him where they had come from and had let my mind wander to all sorts of conclusions but I never asked him out loud because deep down, I knew where they were from, who they were from. Silk and expensive aftershave left an invisible mark from their buyer and I knew whose mark was sitting proudly on the items, taunting me every time my eyes gazed upon them.
And it was for that reason I had to leave because I felt like an intruder in my own home.
Victoire belonged here, not me. From the minute they were born, Victoire and Teddy were entwined in each other’s lives, they were meant to be together, they were on their way to getting together until i came along and now here I was, stuck in the middle of what was meant to be the greatest love story to most of the Wizarding World. The pressure had become unbearable of late, the papers more intrigued into both Teddy and Victoire’s lives, asking countless questions and calling for them to make a romance public knowledge. If I had never met Teddy, they would have already done it by now. Teddy ignored it, his life having always been filled with the media and people who wanted to know about him but for me, it was hard. Could you imagine having your boyfriend splashed over the Daily Prophet front page, alongside another woman, a beautiful woman, calling for their engagement.
It was becoming torture.
And I knew I couldn’t take anymore.
And that's why i had to leave.
Picking up my bags, I moved the kitchen and headed for the kettle, automatically flicking the switch and heading for the adjoining living area. I made myself comfortable on my spot on the sofa, legs curling underneath myself on pure instinct. The place held so many memories, from mine and Teddy’s first awkward kiss to the night we had a blackout in the apartment block and our first Christmas spent together, even if was only for an hour. It was things like this that was making the decision I had made harder than it should have been. I could picture every scene that we had ever shared, the good ones, the bad ones, the ones that could never be re-enacted. The boil of the kettle brought me out of my thoughts and I went over to make my cup of tea, smiling at my favourite mug which took pride of place on the side.
As my back was turned, the front door opened and I closed my eyes and bowed my head. I felt the familiar arms wrap around my waist and warm breath on my neck. The smile that graced my lips was unstoppable, it was a reaction, an instinct.
“Hey,” Teddy kissed my neck and I smiled again, the stirring of my tea long forgotten. “How was your day?”
“It was good, the new bookshop looks great, my office is just a home from home, it’s filled with everything I love, old wallpaper, tall bookcases, candles on the wall and an old, ebony bureau. I love it.” I heard Teddy chuckle as he listened to my excitement.
“I love it when you get so passionate about you books and such.” I turned in his arms and touched his face with my hand, which he leaned into. It was this that made the realisation of what I was going to do come back to me and I felt like I had been winded.
“I love you,” Teddy smiled and he kissed my hand before kissing me gently.
“And I love you too.”
He stepped away and grabbed my cup of tea. “Let me go get a quick shower and we can have a movie night? And takeaway too?”
I nodded with a smile and I watched him leave the room. Waiting until I heard the familiar click of the bathroom lock, I grabbed my bags and left the apartment, praying to Merlin that he would not realise sooner that I was gone. I didn’t bother apparating and instead I walked the streets, my rucksack on my back and my other bag carelessly strung across my body. Keeping my head down, I let my feet carry me far away from Teddy’s apartment, far away from the life we had built and shared. With each step, I could feel my heart shatter into a new piece but I was doing this for all of the right reasons. I prided myself on being smart and this was one of those times that my head most certainly ruled the decision, no matter how hard my heart was trying to overrule it.
It was for the best and my heart would soon realise this. I just hoped it forgave me for the pain I was causing it.
An hour later and I finally stopped walking. The rain had started pouring half an hour before and I was completely soaked. It was like the world was punishing me and I deserved it. Knocking on the door, I waited patiently until I could hear the shuffling footsteps approach. The door opened slowly and as I gazed upon the figure, I felt myself break. It was there and then that the gravity of what I had done hit me and I couldn’t take it anymore. The tears streamed and I fell to the floor in a heap. I felt arms surround me and I leant into the body of my best friend, Rose Weasley.
“Honey, what’s the matter?”
I shook my head, unable to answer her properly. I saw her nod through my tears and as she stood up, she took me with her, leading me into the living room and sitting me down on her sofa. “Stay there, I’m going to get you some warm clothes and a towel.”
I stayed put and held my head in my hands as I thought back to what I had done. I was crazy for walking out and I was so tempted to walk back and hope Teddy hadn’t found the note but my head was telling me that I couldn’t do that. It wouldn’t be fair on me or Teddy.
“Here you go, go and get changed and then we’re going to talk. I’ll make us a cup of tea.”
I smiled and stood up, putting my arm on Rose’s.
5 minutes later and I was out of rain drenched clothes and in warm pyjamas with a cup of tea in my hands, feet curled under myself. Rose was sat beside me, sitting so that she could face. “So, what’s the matter? I have never seen you in that state before, you scared the hell out of me.”
I looked away and took a deep breath. “I left him.”
It was all I needed to say for Rose to understand. “Oh Merlin,” She took my hand gave it a squeeze. “Why?”
“Because I had to, it was getting out of hand. All the pressure from the papers, asking and predicting when Teddy and Victoire are going to get married, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I know it’s not Teddy’s fault but it’s not fair on me, I shouldn’t have to live my life reading the paper every morning and seeing my boyfriend and another woman all over the front pages. I can’t do it anymore,” I felt my heart breaking with each word, “I just can’t.”
“What did you say to him?” At this, I looked away ashamed with myself. I wasn’t even decent enough to say a proper goodbye.
“I left him a note,” Rose said nothing and I didn’t dare look at her. “I’m a coward, if I would have been face to face with him, I wouldn’t be here right now. It broke my heart but it’s for the best or that’s what telling myself, anyway.”
“Feel free to stay here as long as possible, until you’re ready to go home.”
“Thank you.” I rested my head on Rose’s shoulder, her head on top of my own and we stayed like that until morning arrived, watching the rain that poured down outside.
If you’re confused right now, it’s understandable because I haven’t even introduced myself. This was how I, Olivia Jade Harris broke Teddy Lupin’s heart…and my own in the process.
A/N - So, here's a brand new story. This has been in my head for absolutely ages so i thought i had better get it out rather than let it swim around forever. Hope you enjoy! And don't worry, i will still be keeping up with Just A Game, i am determined to not abandon it again!