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Chapter 6: Boys Are Stupid
Beautifully made chapter image by &thereshegoes @TDA
“What the fuck do you think you're doing, Scorpius?! Why you hittin' up Chase when you're already gettin' tail from my sister? Huh? You wanna go, homie? Do you even lift?” Hugo, the wannabe ghetto and small for his age fourth year, starts shouting at Scorpius who’s just confessed his ‘love’ for me.
“Hugo!” I shout, “Calm yourself! This is just a mix up, someone was trying to give Scorpius a love potion and I sabotaged it! He is still very much in love with Rose!”
He narrows his eyes at Scorp, who is staring at me with a dreamy look in his eyes but besides that being harmless, “Fine. But if he fucking does anything to hurt her, I will fucking bust a cap in his sorry ass.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure. Also, I’m probably not one to talk, but if I were you I’d lay off the cuss words, you're a little young. And pull your fucking pants up, nobody wants to see your fucking boxers!”
“Chase! Just get off my fucking case, you chill?”
“You are a troubled little boy.”
He shrugs, “I can act however I want, I’m related to Louis, James, Freddie, and Albus, which makes them ovaries explode!” He makes exploding sounds, along with matching gestures.
I slowly start to shuffle away with Scorp following me, talking to Hugo always makes me a little scared about the sanity of our future generation, “Err… Sure… Good luck with all those combusting reproductive things, I guess…”
“You can bet I’ll get them shawties on their knees in no time, ‘cause I’m a fucking mofo,” his voice starts to fade as I begin running away, and I’m pretty sure he’s just talking to himself now, “’Cause then I’m just like, yolo! Who needs manners when I got that sweet-ass swag…”
I’ve finally run far enough away that I can no longer hear his crackly, still-going-through-puberty voice, and from there I walk to the Room of Requirement.
“Chase, did you know that, if you were a ceiling fan, you would be a very nice ceiling fan?” Scorpius winks at me flirtily.
“Oh how CAN I resist your charm?” I roll my eyes at him. I then open the door of the Room of Requirement, push him in, and then lock it from the outside. I then set an alarm on my Spiderman watch; it would be very bad if I left Scorp in there forever without any food or water. Kind of reminds me…
SHIT I FORGOT TO ASK MOM IF SHE WOULD FEED MY GOLDFISH WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL.
Oh well, I’m over it. I didn’t like the way Taco would eyeball me anyways.
Maybe I’ll get a new one and name it Penny-
“Chase! Hey, Chase!” I turn around and see Wonderboy running in my direction.
“What was all that back there?” he catches up to me, and we start walking together, “I mean I heard you explaining to Hugo the whole love potion thing, but, err, what was going on with Louis just before that? I mean not to pry, I’m just,” he looks at the ground, embarrassed, “Curious.”
“Alright, I guess you have the right to know since just a few hours ago you and I were kind of sharing saliva,” we share a shy grin, “Uhm, Louis kind of told me that he wants to be with me, but I thought he was under the influence of the love potion since Posey got those drinks mixed up, so I turned him down. But, now that I’ve had some time to think about it, I think that turning him down might have been a good idea, at least for now anyways, since he’s had so many chances to be with me and he’s turned down all of them. And then that leads me to you, which is confusing on all levels because on one hand you were straight-forward with me and made it clear what you wanted from the start, but on the other hand it might be pretty messed up to get with someone else right after Louis literally opened up and told me he wouldn’t give up and plus there’s that weird secret thing that I still have no idea about and-“
My rant is interrupted by Danny’s lips, rough on my own. He pulls back for a second, looks around, and then swoops us into a nearby broom closet, continuing to kiss me. At first I just go along with it, but I soon push him away from the kiss.
“I’m sorry,” he smiles, still close to me, “You just really needed to stop talking.”
“Oh,” I struggle for words for a second, his lips are always so warm it’s like it melts my thoughts into a bubbling mess and it’s really making my head hurt, “I think that, before we kiss anymore, you should tell me your secret. I don’t think Louis would have made a big deal about it if it wasn’t important.”
“For once, can we stop talking about Louis? And the secret doesn’t matter, I just really want to be here with you, in this moment, right now,” he kisses me again, and again my brain malfunctions at the heat. Maybe Danny’s right, maybe I should just relax and let things happen how they happen… I mean, he’s like me. He’s a sidekick, but he accepts that, and instead of busying himself with stupid dreams about some other leading lady that he could probably get if he wanted to, he wants me, and it actually makes sense. Maybe, for once, I should do what makes sense.
His hands, which are on my hips as they usually are when he kisses me, begin moving downward and then slowly onto my ass. I allow this to happen, but only because my brain is foggy and it doesn’t really even feel real. After he has his fun there, he slowly begins to lift up my shirt. This doesn’t even register in my mind until my bra is exposed, at which point I quickly pull away from the kiss.
“Danny, what the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Come on, Chase, why not? Why shouldn’t we just get it over with?”
“Because I don’t want to!”
“Don’t worry,” he stubbornly puts his hands back on my ass and begins kissing my neck, refusing to back off, “You’ll be glad we did it once we’re done. And then everything can be good.”
“No, Danny, stop it! I swear I’ll fuckin’ knee you right in your naughty bits!”
Before the boy can stutter out a word the door we’re leaning on opens and we topple out onto the floor of the corridor just outside the broom closet. Just as quickly Danny is pinned against the wall, Louis holding him there with his wand pointed at his throat.
“Woah! Hey, man, back off!” Danny struggles against Louis, who is both taller and better built, “Don’t get all bothered just because she chose me over you!”
“Hey! Both of you! Stop it!” I hop up and pull them both away from each other, something that with my strength Louis obviously allowed me to do, “I didn’t choose anybody!”
“Chase, you don’t understand,” Louis starts, looking at Danny with more enmity than I knew he even possessed, “You don’t know what he wants.”
“I think it was pretty obvious what he wanted,” I indignantly tug my shirt back down.
“Tell her,” Louis ignores my remark and nods to Danny, “Tell her the truth or I will.”
Danny exhales, his expression pained, “Okay, okay,” he turns to me and looks me in the eyes, “Chase, you have to promise me that you won’t say a word until I’m completely finished talking. Please?”
“Alright, I guess…?”
“I’m in love.”
“I said not to interrupt me! Now don’t go getting too excited, because, well, it’s not with you. It’s, erhm, well, uh, I’m in love with Rose. I have been since first year. I was always too shy to tell her, or even Scorpius for that matter, and then in third year I decided I would. I went to go find her but on the way, I heard her giggling coming from inside a broom cupboard. When I opened it, I found her and Scorpius having their first snogging session. I pretended I was cool with it, but on the inside I was heartbroken. As you know, they started dating in fourth year, and that’s when I started going out with girls all over the school trying to find somebody to help me get over her. I did that for the last two years, but it never worked. And then when I found out that she was pregnant, with his baby, I just couldn’t handle it. I grabbed my broomstick—riding it helps me think—and went up to the astronomy tower to figure out what I would do, because I knew I had to do something. I decided that maybe if I slept with someone, it would help me get over her. And then I thought about you, and how much fun I’d just had on our train ride together, and I realized you were perfect. I mean, you’re funny and pretty, and if we did it then there would be no way Rose wouldn’t find out about it. I know, it sounds terrible, but just please, Chase, try to see things from my point of view here!”
I rack my brain, but I can’t seem to think of any way to put how I feel into words right now. So, to give me more time to think, I look at Louis and shakily ask, “How did you find out?”
Danny answers for him, “The summer before third year, I almost told Rose. I went to the Potter-Weasley house—it’s only a few blocks away from mine—with a bouquet of flowers and was going to throw pebbles at her window, but then I chickened out. James found me sitting in front of their neighbor’s yard by myself, hyperventilating, and I told him everything. Since then he’s always been there for me when it comes to Rose, but he didn’t particularly like the plan that involved me seducing you. I guess he told Louis.”
Louis nods, the story must have sounded about right.
I still have no idea what to say, and I start to feel a throbbing pain in my throat. My eyes start to prickle, and I realize I’m about to cry. Louis realizes the same thing, and I’m instantly wrapped in his arms so that Danny, or anyone walking by for that matter, won’t see me. He knows that I don’t like anybody seeing me looking vulnerable.
“I think you should probably leave now,” He says quietly to Danny. I don’t hear Danny reply, just footsteps walking away as I bury my face further into Louis’s shirt.
“Do you want to sneak into the kitchen for some ice cream? You know all of us Weasleys are tight with the house-elves.”
I nod, but I stay where I am for him for a little while. When I finally feel ready, I pull away from him and take a deep breath, wiping my tears away. He’s looking off down the hall; not at anything particular, but just because he knows he’s no exception to my hatred of people seeing me cry.
“Okay,” I mumble, and he looks at me to give me a half smile before throwing his arm around me just like he used to and walking with me to the kitchen.
“I feel used,” I say, almost without emotion.
“Don’t worry; I’m not the type to say I told you so.”
I look up at him and can’t fight the smile, “You realize that by saying that, you’re saying ‘I told you so’, right?”
He shrugs, he’s smiling too, “Well I did tell you so.”
I laugh and lean into him a little bit more. This feels just like the old days, before Rose was pregnant, before I had three boys all revealing feelings for me in one day, whether the said feelings were real or not. It’s hard to swallow the fact that the “old days” were just two weeks ago.
“This doesn’t change anything,” I say decidedly, even though I know it might ruin our moment, “This doesn’t change the fact that I’m not going to just forget everything and run off into the sunset with you.”
“I know. But it also doesn’t change the fact that I’m not going to give up on you.”
That makes me smile a bit, but at the same time I know it’ll be hard to resist him. But I’m so tired of all these fucking feelings, I have a feeling even Louis is not going to make me change my mind about this.
We get some ice cream, and after thoroughly eating my feelings we walk back to the common room. Along the way we don’t talk much, but it’s a comfortable silence that I could only really enjoy with Louis.
“CHASE! ERMAGERD YOU SMELL LIKE ICE CREAM, WERE YOU EATING ICE CREAM? Ugh that makes me want to vomit! But strangely it makes me want some ice cream… Why did I eat all those pixie stix? Is sugar bad for babies? Sweet Merlin I hope not! Oh hey, you’re not mad at Louis. That’s cool. You guys should just like get married. Oh! What if the four of us went to Vegas and had a double wedding! That would be amazing!” Rose is suddenly in front of me, talking a mile a minute.
“Rose! Hush hush, now. C’mon, we’re going upstairs and I’m giving you a sugar detox,” I sigh and take her wrist to bring her to our dorm. As I’m walking I turn and mouth ‘thank you’ to Louis. He points at himself, and then makes a heart sign with his hands, and then points at me. I roll my eyes and continue on my way; this is definitely an interesting twist to my life.
“And then we went and got ice cream,” I finally finish telling my best friend every single thing that happened today, which is a lot. Rose was eagerly listening despite having to suffer through a terrible sugar crash.
She sighs, “Well, THAT’S sure a lot to take in. Hey,” she lightly pokes my wrist, “What happened to your Spiderman watch?”
I look down and realize my wrist is quite naked; not really surprising seeing as the thing was on its last leg. But why is that ringing some kind of alarm in my head…
“HOLY SHIH TZU I FORGOT ABOUT SCORPIUS!”
Twenty minutes later, I walk back into the dorm out of breath and flop down on my bed.
“Did you get him?”
“Yep. It was pretty creepy, the room made a framed picture of me and he was cuddling with it as he slept.”
Rose shakes her head, “Why couldn’t you have just put one of MY hairs in the potion?”
“I think Posey would have noticed if her hair had suddenly turned red. Plus, I didn’t really want to tell you the situation until it was handled so that you wouldn’t get too stressed out,” I sit up and start playing with the skin on Rose’s elbow, “And I don’t think that boy could handle being any more in love with you than he already is. He’d probably have a literal heart attack.”
“Hey, stop playing with my elbow skin! Not nice! And I guess you’re right. I just don’t like the idea of Scorpius thinking about my best friend that way. It makes me kind of understand where Danny is coming from.”
I look at her, “Rose, he was using me. All he wanted was to sleep with me so he could get back at you or something.”
“I’m not saying what he did was right!” she gives me a look, “I’m just saying I get where he’s coming from. I mean, if Louis and I fell in love and you could get back at him by dippity-doo-da-ing James, would you?”
“First of all, that’s an extremely creepy thought seeing as you and Louis are first cousins. Secondly, I’m pretty most girls attending Hogwarts have had their doo-das dippitied by James.”
Rose laughs and shakes her head, “Actually, don’t tell James I told you this, but he’s a virgin.”
My jaw drops, “No way, I’ve heard at least fifteen girls say they’ve knocked boots with him! And that’s just this term!”
“He told me that he’s just waiting until it ‘feels just right’. So basically, what he’s doing is taking these girls to his dorm, and then when it doesn’t feel right he tells them he has ‘too much of a soft spot’ for them and then tells them he doesn’t want the other girls to know she’s any more special than them because it’ll break their hearts, so it’d be best if she just led on like he parked his Plymouth in their garage of love.”
“That’s genius!” I marvel at James’s brilliance, “Especially since none of the girls he hooks up with are self-respecting or intelligent!”
“That’s the reason he gets them in the first place,” Rose shrugs.
Right now, I have a new level of respect for James Sirius Potter. I always thought he was egotistical, manipulating, and a man-whore, but now I know that he isn’t a man-whore! Either way, he’s still one of my best friends.
I hear a light ding. I step down onto the floor to grab my book bag, which I dig through until I pull out the piece of parchment I was using this morning. Speak of the devil; James was continuing our I.L. session from earlier.
JSP- You up?
CAL- Yes, we were just talking about you.
JSP- Good things, I hope?
CAL- Depends on your perspective. But from mine, yes.
JSP- Crap, that sounds conflicting. But thank you, I suppose. Anyways, can you girls come over here? Lorcan made Louis eat a suspicious looking pastry and now he’s acting straight cray-cray.
CAL- Sure, I’ll be right over.
JSP- Oh, and one more thing?
JSP- Don’t forget to wear that perfume you had on the other night.
CAL- Um. Why?
JSP- You positively must smell nice for Louis when he becomes sensible again! I will not allow for you to reek of tacos or whatever it is you had for dinner! Unless it’s bacon, in that case you’re set.
CAL- I hate you. We’ll be over in a sec.
“A Scamander twin fed Louis a strange dessert and now he’s gone loopy and junk. Want to go help James the Chaste out a bit?”
She rolls her eyes, “Louis is always too nice too resist things people offer him. I remember one time a strange man offered him candy; good thing the man turned out to be a buddy of Uncle George, or else the boy might’ve been done for. Sure, let’s go!”
And we’re off, Rose telling more of the story and me silently wondering how I’m affiliated with such a happily dysfunctional family.