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Chapter 14: Not Facing It.
His blue eyes filled with shock, hurt, and then anger. I wanted to crawl away, out of his gaze. Which was a first, usually I loved having him look at me. He had never looked at me like this though. This was a look of pure hatred. He rose out of his desk chair, knocking it over and scattering papers all over the office. “What do you mean you're pregnant?” He yelled as I sat motionlessly in the opposite chair. I was stunned, I couldn't move. I tried to speak but for some reason I found that I was unable to. I said nothing so he just went on. “Is this some sick twisted joke? What is wrong with you!” Again, I couldn't find my voice. He rounded on me. “That little bastard child better not be mine.” He rolled his harsh eyes, speaking in quick mean sentences. Each stinging worst and worst. He wasn't taking this well. I didn't think he would but I had never seen him like this. I had never seen him so angry and well...so terrifying. I just wanted to say something, to calm him down, to turn him back into the person that I knew. Why couldn't I say anything? “I could have given you so much Hermione.” He spit my name like it was garbage. “Yet you did nothing but waste that opportunity. You wasted my time.” No! I didn't want to waste his time. I didn't mean for this to happen! He came in close to me, close enough to kiss. He didn't kiss me though. “I'm done with you.” I recoiled like I had been slapped in the face. Ouch. It felt like my heart was being ripped out, a small section at a time. I just wanted to be able to talk, why couldn't I talk. I started sobbing. He turned his back on me. I looked up at him, pleading him not to go but he never looked back. He just started toward the door of the office.
Finally, for some reason, I found my voice. In a whimpered cry I yelled out. “I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry!” He didn't look back at me. He didn't care. He was done with me. He just kept walking away, down that long hallway – which seemed so much longer now than it ever had before – and I knew he would never be coming back. That's what hurt the most. How would I go on without him?
“Hermione!” I heard a voice call. Draco? I looked up quickly but I was alone. “Hermione! Get up!” I heard again. What? Get up from where? Sitting? “Hermione!” The voice called again, it was oddly familiar...yet it wasn't the one I wished it was. The voice I was looking for was deeper than this. And right now, it was a lot harsher than this. This voice was light and friendly. Who's voice? I blinked and when I opened my eyes I was no longer in the office.
“Well hey there!” I was greeted by a small smile from Ron. “I think you were having nightmares.” A worried look crossed his face.
“Yeah. Sorry.” I mumbled. Trying to shake that nightmare out of my head. It left me feeling hallow, empty.
“That's what you said.” Ron mumbled back.
Huh? I looked at him and raised my eyebrow. “What? When did I say that?”
He rose from where he was sitting, by my side on the bed. “You said that you were sorry, that you were so so sorry. “
Yeah. I did remember that. I didn't want to though, I wanted to forget the entire thing. And I certainly did not want to tell Draco about my little issue. “Oh...did I? For some reason I can't remember it. I just know it was bad. Let's just forget about it, okay?” I mumbled to Ron. We were mumblers in the morning, neither of us wanted to even talk.
“Okay.” He got up and left the room. He was such a pleasant person, I rolled my eyes.
I really really really didn't want to go to work today. I couldn't face Draco, I just couldn't. What would I tell him? "Oh, by the way, I'm knocked up with my crazy fiance's child, but no big deal...you know?" Yeah, not going to happen. I was terrified that he would react like he had in my dream, my nightmare.
I sighed and finally pulled myself out of bed, knowing that I had to face the day either way. I wasn't going to enjoy it one little bit, but I had to do it. Right? Right. I managed to drag myself to the bathroom and turn the shower on, waiting for the water to get warm I looked at myself in the full length mirror. My eyes instantly went to my flat stomach. That wouldn't be flat for too long now, would it? How long does it take to pop? When do I start getting huge? I sighed again, I had so much to learn. My next doctor's appointment will definitely be full of questions...and hopefully answers to them. I got into the shower and felt my tensed muscles relax slightly. Oh what was I going to do at work today?
I finished my shower quickly, I was nervous and did everything at hyper speed when I was. I did a quick drying spell on myself and my hair, another spell to tame the wild beast I call hair.
I was about to get dressed for work when Ron came into the room. "How would you feel about skipping work and going to my parents?"
That would mean I wouldn't have to face Draco today, which would be amazing. "Yeah, sounds good." I smiled fakely at Ron.
"We should tell mom. She should know everything to do, make sure that you're doing what's best for the baby, she's had enough of them" Ron suggested
Which was actually a very good idea, she knew a lot. I on the other hand knew nothing. I wasn't prepared to have a baby. There was so much research I had yet to do. I definitely needed a trip to the library.
"We'll leave in 10?" He asked. He left the room when I nodded in response.
I put a silencing charm on so Ron couldn't hear me. I had to call Draco. The phone rang and rang before his answering machine at his office picked up. I knew he wouldn't be at work yet so I called there so I didn't have to explain. "Draco, it's Hermione....I won't be in to work today. I'm still not feeling well. I'm sorry but I can't make lunch. I'll be in tomorrow I promise! I'm sorry. " I hung up quickly.
I went out to the living room to see Ron and we left shortly.
"Ron! Hermione!" Mrs. Weasleys happy voice called the very second we opened the door.
"Hi mom" Ron shrugged her off as she ran over to hug him. He never grew out of the "I'm too cool for hugs from my mom" phase.
"Hello Mrs. Weasley" I beamed as she hugged me as well. I loved the Weasleys, they always made me feel so at home and welcomed. They didn't make up for my lack of parents, but they sure did try. After my parents were tortured and killed in the war the Weasleys had thrown themselves at me full force, trying to make me feel better.
Mrs. Weasley then went on to tell us the long list of all the food she made for tonight. We all haven't been together in about four months, which is a really long time for them.
We all sat down and chatted, catching
"So...errr, we have an announcement." Ron started, being really awkward about it. He seemed embarrassed, I think he was embarrassed of me.
"Oh!" Ginny shouted, surprising us all. "News about the wedding?" She said way to happily. She had been the definition of a bridezilla at her wedding and now she thought that she was the best wedding planner. Whatever, I let her basically have free reign with this one. I didn't care.
" Uh...not really" I murmured not knowing what to say.Ginny instantly slumped, now sad that she wouldn't be able to make even more of my choices for me.
"No...it's different than that. But I guess it's not terrible news..." Ron mumbled to his family. Not terrible? Is that the best I he could do. Oh, I'm having a baby...but it's not terrible. Seriously?
I sighed as all the Weasleys and Potters stared at me. They wanted to know what our news was, even pouty Ginny.
"So what's the news, you two?" Harry rolled his eyes and put his arm around his wife. He knew that she was a little ridiculous and slightly self centered but he loved her for that. They really were a great couple.
I looked at Ron, who was too busy stuffing his face with more food - go figure.
"Uh..." How do you say this? It's going to be a shock to them. Do I just come right out and say it or hint to it and hope they figure it out. "I'm pregnant." I opted for the just say it method.
Their initial faces were all similar, utter surprise. Then most of them broke out in broad smiles, Ginny squealed, Harry clapped Ron on the back and mumbled something to him with a smile on his face, and Mrs. Weasley yelled "'Finally!" She then gave Ginny a very pointed look. Harry had been wanting kids since they got married but she wouldn't budge about not having them yet. Ginny said she didn't want a kid holding her back. Ginny acknowledged the look but just rolled her eyes at her mother.
"So" Mrs. Weasley turned her attention back to me. "When is my grandchild getting here?" She was all smiles, she loved babies. I'm sure if Mr. Weasley allowed they would have about three hundred children. Mr. Weasley had to put his food down after Ginny because he knew they couldn't afford it.
"Around September 30th. " I said awkwardly. She was so much happier about this than I was. Shouldn't I be ecstatic?
"Lovely, a fall baby" She smiled that huge smile of hers that filled up her face. "How wonderful. Ron aren't you excited?"
"Err...I guess." Yeah, he's a winner. Mrs. Weasley gave him a look of disbelief but didn't push the subject.
"So...I'm going to be the God mother right?" Ginny said in a sing song voice.
"Uh...I hadn't even thought about that...I mean, I just found out I was pregnant. " I honestly hadn't thought about anything like that, I mean Ginny and Harry were good enough choices. Harry would be a flawless parent. He was great with kids.
"Of course you and Harry are the God parents, who else would we have?" Ron spoke in an annoyed voice. Annoyed at me? Hell, I'm annoyed at him. He should have talked to me before picking them, I mean I would have agreed but still.
Ginny squealed in delight. Harry gave me a sympathetic look before speaking. "How about you two think and talk about it before making a definite decision." Ginny gave him a pointed look but didn't say anything, which was unusual for her.
We dropped the subject for a while, everyone seeing that Ron and I weren't exactly the most happy parents to be.
After dinner Mrs. Weasley pulled me aside and gave me multiple tips on pregnancy and motherhood. They were all things I needed to know, coming to talk to her was a good idea. And I was glad at least someone was excited for this baby.
As we were leaving she said the same thing the doctor had told me. "I'm sure he'll come around." I hope he did, for his sake.