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Chapter 9: Ho Ho Ho (Pt. 1)
9. Ho Ho Ho (Pt. 1)
Okay, so that was not really what I expected. I expected, “Oh dear Merlin, I was so bloody over the bloody moon that I'd finally gotten rid of you. But no, you had to come back.” Okay, so he could still kind of imply that...
“Um, yeah, okay.” I shuffled my feet, looking for a way out of this conversation, which would probably result in blood and tears. Okay, not that extreme. A black eye? Maybe.
“Take me seriously Selene. We're not kids anymore... Well, I'm not a kid anymore.”
I groaned. Not this conversation again.
“I get you. Can we move on now?” His persistence bored me to death, which was slightly ironic considering where I was at that moment.
Sirius was, thankfully, silent for the rest of the night. For once in my life, I had the opportunity to bask in the pleasure of his tranquility. Remus joined us soon after that, ruining that moment.
“I think we should get Selene back to bed,” he said, as though I was a child. I AM NOT A CHILD!
Sirius turned to look at me, for once, like a man with a few years under his belt.
“I AM NOT A CHILD!” I shouted at them. I would’ve cried out with more than just exasperation if they took me back home and put me to bed. I would’ve cried out bloody murder.
Sirius sighed. He knew better than to meddle with my intolerance of injustice. “Then what do you want Selene?”
I thought for a minute. “I want a hot cocoa.” I gave them a smug smile.
“Selene, what would you think if you saw a girl your age-” I glared at Remus and he scoffed, “- yourself - with two grown men, having hot cocoa together?”
I thought for another minute.
“I would think that the two of you are, in fact, happy lovers and I am your adopted perfect child.” I smiled even more smugly while Sirius jumped to his feet, a look of shock on his face.
“We are definitely not going for hot chocolate.”
Remus began protesting (as he too knew that I would be a complete, sadistic murderer if I didn’t get my way) but was cut short.
“Remus, I don’t know about you, but I do not want to be perceived as being intimate with you.”
My head flicked back and forward between the two, enjoying the rather uncomfortable nature of the conversation.
“I am insulted!” said Remus. I smiled to the pleasure of the two bickering. “Do you think I’d want to be seen with you in public at all?” Touché, Remus. Touché.
I smiled even more widely as the two stepped towards each other.
“Well Remus!” Sirius trailed off. No one in the entire Milky Way could have found a better retort than that. “I’ll leave her to you then.” With a final glare at me (for no reason at all) he spun on his heel and apparated away into the darkness and hopefully, that’s the way it’ll stay.
I grinned at Remus and held onto his arm tightly, so he wouldn’t shake me off. “You can be my father.”
He shook his head as though I was a plague. I held his arm even more tightly and gave him a look that might’ve suggested: ‘you are not going anywhere without me’ in the most violent of ways.
He spun and we were in front of a small cafe that seemed so warm and cosy and delightful in the inside. I squealed and clapped my hands together.
We sat down at the furthest table away from the counter. Being quite late at night, we didn’t expect the workforce of Lé Café to be exceptionally pleased when they saw us.
The lady who had come to serve us seriously should adopt a new stink face. One that could actually pass as a face too... I smiled mockingly at her.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Remus staring, a tad fearful as to what I would do if someone or something had angered me.
“What would you like?” she asked, politely. I had a change of heart.
“You are a beautiful lady.” I looked into her eyes, mouth slightly open. Maybe a comment like that might brighten up her day.
The lady raised an eyebrow and turned to Remus instead. I gaped at her, shocked as though I had just been called dumb - which I most certainly am not.
Remus quickly rushed the order: “Two hot chocolates please. Quick. Quickly!” He pushed her away as she lingered to write down the order.
“Selene,” he tried soothing me, calming me down. No! I refuse to sit by!
I got up.
“Selene, I will take you home right away if you take another step.”
I whipped around on my heels and glared at him, my meanest glare yet.
“Now, sit down. Please. And behave.” Who are you to tell me what to do?
“I’m your father,” he said calmly, as though he read my thoughts.
I glared at him and pursed my lips as I advanced back towards my seat. “You are not.”
“I am if you want your hot chocolate.” Remus chuckled slightly, although nervously as the waitress came back with two foam cups.
“I am so sorry, but the manager said that the foam cups would suffice. We’re expecting to be closing right about... Now, so it would be very nice if you had these for take away.” The lady placed the cups on the table in front of us. I stared at her. I stared her down like an owl. Like I was an owl and she was the mouse I was hunting. My eyes pierced into the back of her head like two bloody daggers.
“That would be fine, thank you very much,” Remus said hurriedly, grabbing the two cups in one hand and holding onto my own hand with the other.
I didn’t even have time to register that he was holding my hand until I was already outside in the freezing - what I’d like to call - blizzard. Okay so it wasn’t that cold. Just chilly I guess.
“We’ll take these back home, shall we?” Remus didn’t let go of my arm, rather, he held onto it much more tightly.
“LET GO OF MY AR-!”
I didn’t even get to finish my sentence before we arrived at Grimmauld place.
“I hate you Remus!” He let go of me and I escaped out of his personal bubble and instead, ran further than ten steps away from him.
“Selene, can we just go in and talk?” Talk?! What are we doing right at this verymoment, I ask you!
I nodded, the snarl visible on my face as I walked past him.
“Here, by the way.” He extended the arm holding the hot chocolates. I had difficulty trying to suppress that excitement that had bubbled in me. I absolutely adored hot chocolate. It was the most nicest, tastiest, nicest, yummiest thing I had ever tasted in my life.
I snatched it out of his grasp and held onto it tightly, as though suspicious he was going to take mine once he was done with his. I watched his every step.
He sat down at the head of the table, inviting me to sit down to the seat closest to him. I did so, just because I was cold and liked the company.
He massaged his temples before beginning his long talk about nothing.
“Selene, please, understand that we are adults now. We’ve been through things you couldn’t even imagine-” I scoffed. I have a very vivid imagination, thank you very much! - “And Sirius and I, well, we’ve certainly missed having you around. Honestly, we have. Especially Sirius. He was unbelievably upset-”
“So he should be!” I shouted at him, pouting angrily.
“He was unbelievably upset-” he continued as though I did not interrupt him at all. Bloody git. “And like we’ve explained already, sending you to St. Mungos was not, at all, what he had intended and he certainly did not want to kill you. He even went to extent of staying right next to your hospital bed every night and day he could spare,” Remus took a deep breath, “He was madly in love with you, Selene.”
I choked on my hot chocolate, the scalding liquid stuck in my throat. I could’ve died once again! But I didn’t. Luckily. The mere thought of Sirius watching me sleeping - even though it was a very long sleep - disturbed me. Yuck.
“You can tell him that he’s a disturbing little git,” I sipped at my hot chocolate, looking up at Remus suspiciously.
Remus sighed, shaking his head as he did so. “I’m off to bed,” he muttered, barely audibly. He stood up and pushed his own hot chocolate closer towards me before making his way back to his room, wherever that was.
I stared at the foam cup suspiciously, as thought he had secretly drugged it with a killing potion, or perhaps another coma inducing potion. I’m sure they’d like that.
In reality, I stared at the cup a moment too long, taking in everything Remus had just explained to me. I didn’t believe it, I really didn’t. I sighed, sipping on my hot cocoa slowly. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep with these disturbing images in my head so there I sat, all night.
The morning was absolute chaos. The bags under my eyes were clearly visible as everyone in the house came running down the stairs, evoking screams of “MUDBLOODS, FILTHY BLOOD TRAITORS” from Sirius’ suiting mother.
“Merry Christmas!” seemed to be the only thing people said for those few minutes, everyone threw at each other brightly packaged presents, exclaiming in joy and delight or forcing such said expressions.
I watched with a small smile as Ron ripped the fire orange wrapping that matched his hair off of his Chuddly Cannons collectible set, the little players on their broomsticks waving up at him while little sparks of red and green emitted from their wands.
“Selene,” I heard my name, “You’ve got presents too, you know.” Hermione put yet another book down onto the already massively towering pile beside her. She looked at me with an inviting look on her face.
I had been hoping to avoid this part. I only remember too well the last time it had been Christmas…
“That’s mine!” Lily yelled, pulling a small package away from my hands rapidly, as though I was contaminating it with filth. I didn’t miss the messy scribble of ‘Sev’ at the bottom of the card so I rolled my eyes.
I looked around every inch of the common room for my own pile of presents, only to find that there weren’t any. I frowned. I never not got presents…
“Roster,” I heard a voice boom, “Merry Christmas, love!” I turned around to the source of the voice, the image of Sirius appearing on the stairs before me. Then came James, wearing a new majestic red and golden sweater, then Peter with a new scarf, then Remus with what appeared to be a new collection of books under his arm.
“What did you do with them?” I spat at Sirius, knowing full well that it was he, the bloody tosser, who took all my presents.
He grinned broadly before strutting down towards me. I didn’t miss James’ glance at Lily as she read through her card.
“I placed them somewhere hidden, Roster. Somewhere… secret.” He winked at me as a retaliation of the glare I was giving him.
“He means he’s placed them in our dorm,” James said, raising an eyebrow as he eyed all that was left in the common room, no doubt scrutinising what everyone else had gotten, his head inflating a few more inches as though all other presents were inferior.
“If you’d like, I’ll accompany you up to get them?” Sirius waggled his eyebrows. Before I even had the chance to respond, he had taken my arm and dragged me up the stairs.
“Let me go, Sirius!” I yelled at him as we reached the corridor leading down to the boys’ dormitories. I tugged my arm out of his grip and stomped my feet angrily.
“They’re in here,” he smirked, opening the door to his dorm.
“I know they are,” I snapped at him, pushing past him and into the revolting realm of mess. Their room was in a state of complete disarray. Their bed sheets were torn to shreds, books were scattered across the floor, sweet wrappers and little bits and pieces were strewn all over the place. There was no way in hell I would find my presents in this junkyard of a dorm.
I walked from corner to corner as Sirius closed the door shut behind me.
“Where are they?” I glared at him, my lips pursed.
“Come over here,” Sirius led over to his bed, grinning, “and make yourself comfortable.” He gestured for me to sit down as he lay across his bed, stomach down retrieving something from under it.
I sat down, watching him cautiously in the case that he was to bring about an unexpected surprise of cockroach clusters up to my face, like he had the other day.
I raised my wand as he pulled out a pile of boxes, the wrapping vivid in its blues, greens and reds. I couldn’t hide my smile and made to reach out for them. Though, before I could, Sirius had put it on the other side of him, grinning madly.
“I’ve got something to give you, too,” he murmured, inching closer towards me. I cocked my head at him, my heart hammering quite quickly as his face came closer to mine.
Suddenly, his lips grazed mine, his grey eyes finding mine as he looked up through his thick lashes, questioning me. The look in my eye probably gave it away; I’d wanted to taste those pink lips for a while now. And so I did. I tasted his soft lips, feeling the smile pressed onto me as he slowly climbed onto me, one of his hands rubbing the back of my neck while the other found the curve of my waist.
I pushed back, returning his kiss with the same fervor; years of undying, unresolved sexual tension seemed to catch up to us. His lips found my neck and I found myself moaning lightly from his touch.
“Sirius,” I sighed, my nails grazing along his arms. He lowered his weight onto my hips, his lips trailing my jaw line softly. I closed my eyes to the bliss of it all.
“Is this what you want?” he murmured, his lips tickling my ear. His fingers danced at the buttons of my shirt, thumb rubbing slightly against the curve of my breast.
I nodded and he ripped my shirt apart as he nibbled on my ear. “Is this what you want?” I asked him, my hand reaching down to his firm stomach.
Sirius retracted, his face surprised. “I’ve always known you were stupid, but really, Roster?”
I scowled at him before I dived onto him, locking my lips onto his as my fingers pulled apart his white shirt. Neither one of us reacted as a thud sounded on the floor where my presents laid scattered. I felt his smooth, toned chest and trembled as his callused fingers wrapped around my arms, stopping me.
“I think I love you, Selene,” I heard him murmur alluringly, his breath soft on my face as his fingertips trailed along my back and ribs.
“You’re only saying that to get into my pants,” I grinned, knowing that he’d already reached far beyond that point.
He shook his head, a smile on his face.
“Fine then, Sirius, I think I love you too,” I smirked into his lips.
Slowly, he pulled my shirt off of my shoulders, throwing it onto the floor where it joined the many strands of already ripped fabric. He gazed at me adoringly for a moment; his eyes were soft as they followed the curves of my body.
“Merlin,” he breathed, his hands trailing up my inner thigh as I straddled him.
I hid a grin before steadily pulling apart the buckle of his pants, never removing my gaze from his. I moaned lightly as his fingers swept across the small of my back, where his finger found the waistband of my skirt and pulled it down.
Both our hearts hammered against our chests, as we both removed articles of clothing off of each other, taking the time to feel and taste every inch of exposed skin there was.
Sirius found himself on top of me once more, the muscles in his arms, on either side of my head, tensed as he supported his weight. I tangled my fingers in his hair, both our breathing rapid.
He pressed his forehead softly against mine and closed his eyes to the heated sensations of warm, passionate, loving sex.
And that was the moment we both lost ourselves. Lost ourselves to the reverie, the idea of love.
A flying red package brought my attention back to the real world. I blinked as it hit the side of my head with a thud, smiling sheepishly at Fred and George, the twins who had thrown it at me. I tore apart the wrapping and my grin broadened as I uncovered a flask of Twilight Moonbeams love potion.
“Thanks guys, I really needed that,” I chuckled. Though, of course I didn’t. What I really needed was a tall bottle of firewhisky I can drown Sirius in. And my sorrows. No, just Sirius.
“Open mine!” Hermione directed me and I felt myself deflate slightly as I unwrapped a pair of disfigured socks and a matching beanie that I could only assume she had made herself. “Thanks Hermione,” was all I could say.
I had felt incredibly guilty when I realized that I had nothing to give back to these people.
“Merry Christmas!” I heard the familiar, detestable voice boom from the door. Sirius came striding in, a flutter of wrapped presents floating behind him. “I’ve got you all a little something.” The presents flew over to whomever it was directed to. Admittedly, I was quite surprised to find one in pink wrapping paper soaring towards me. Of course, he knew I hated pink.
The boys exclaimed in awe as they unwrapped their presents; an assortment of all sorts of mischievous gadgets, no doubt.
I hesitated. I wasn’t sure whether to open it or not. Not wanting to seem strange, I decided to unwrap it. I frowned. There had been more wrapping paper underneath. I unwrapped that too. My frown become much more prominent as I eventually tore apart the entire present of pink wrapping paper, gritting my teeth and fire ablaze in my eyes. Sirius the completely, incessantly annoying prick of a person.
Before I was about to toss the thing into the roaring fire, a flash of blue ink appeared on the tiny piece of wrapping paper left, the size of a candy wrapper.
I haven’t forgotten.
Was all it had said.
I found my throat constricting and tears stung at my eyes. I bit my bottom lip to stop it from trembling, turning my back on all the others, avoiding Sirius’ stare and made my way to the bathroom, my sole place of refuge.
I cried. I couldn’t hold it in any longer so I let it all out. I banged my fists on the rim of the sink, gripping tightly onto it as tears trailed down my cheeks, as the rope around my throat tightened, as my stomach twirled in hollowness.
Everything was a complete mess.
My life was a complete mess and I couldn’t do anything about it.
A/N: So here it is! The one we've all been waiting for (for 2 years)! I did abandon this story originally, but I re-read through all the reviews and I thought, how could I ever have left this? And in my guilt, I wrote another chapter :) and then, another one! (Snape comes along for Christmas in the next one by the way). *excited*
So what did you guys think?! I'm trying hard to retain the feel of the previous chapters, but I think I'm losing it. I can't think as immaturely or brutishly as Selene anymore! Ha!
Tell me what you guys think will happen in the next chapter with Snape! I'm interested to see what you guys are expecting! :D
Thanks for reading! And thanks for sticking by! It really means a lot to me.