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On the Brink of Insanity by AlAndAl

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Format: Short story
Chapters: 11
Word Count: 16,919

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature

Genres: Humor, Romance
Characters: Scorpius, Albus, James (II), Lily (II), Hugo, Rose, OC, OtherCanon
Pairings: OC/OC

First Published: 06/28/2012
Last Chapter: 08/24/2013
Last Updated: 08/24/2013

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Chapter 5: That Sport Thing Called Quidditch
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A few weeks passed and nothing spectacular happened, Kerfy tried to seduce Robyn a lot which was gross, Robyn completed a few things on her list like #22 Pet the Whomping Willow, #33 Create a cardboard cut-out of Voldemort and walk around the school with it and pretend he’s your lover and #11 Owl. Yeah, I’m not really sure what’s up with #11…it literally just says “Owl” so I guess it’s up to her interpretation. She sat outside the Hufflepuff common room going ‘whooooooo whoooooooo’ for half an hour and a creepy guy asked her out. I didn’t know that owls where so erotic. She was pretty scarred from that whole experience, so I gave her the point.



In between her list-completion, she gives me these ‘talks’. They are really random and weird, but most of the time the moral of the story is “Ben is a nice guy, you should un-awkward yourself”. I guess that’s better than her usual morals like, “Never eat pudding if it’s green”, “Not all guys with beards store their socks in them” or “Don’t sit next to Pinto on the bus”, but it’s getting pretty annoying. She’ll pull me out of a group of people that I’m creeping out and will give me these lectures. DAMN WOMAN! CAN’T YOU TELL THAT I’M GETTING MY CREEP ON?!



Sigh. Life is not what it used to be. Quidditch tryouts are soon though. HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Yeah, I have to do those. Considering I have never played Quidditch in my life, that could be a little problematic, but Quidditch is mainly flying right? Like 91.6438976% of it is flying? Right? RIGHT?!







“These Quidditch trials are not to be looked at as an easy task. This is not just a game, this is war, and I need my best soldiers playing the first line!” Albus yelled as we all huddled outside in the bloody coldest weather in history. If I didn’t love Albus so much and have such a high competitive level against Robyn, I wouldn’t be here. Sigh. Those green eyes hypnotize me. SNAP OUT OF IT SISTER THIS IS WAR, REMEMBER?! “I want every single player here to give their absolute best! I don’t care if you have one arm or can’t see out of both eyes, I want you to DOMINATE that field with the passion of a million men!”



I could hear the group muttering amongst themselves. “What a psycho.” “This is motivating.” “I should’ve peed before I got out here.” “What’s Quidditch?”



“Alright you stupid shits!” the co-captain, Thalia McIver shouted. “I will call off the different positions and if you’re dumb brain thinks you can handle the ridiculous task of carrying this team on your shoulders by playing that certain position, then you will stand to where I point! Got it idiots?!”



Jeez, this woman sounds like my brain when I’m calling Kerf and idiot or telling you dumbasses to follow my commands. You should learn by now. Thalia began yelling “Keeper!” and then I realized that I had no fucking clue what I was going to try out for. SHIT SHIT SHIT. Ummm….whatever she calls next! That’ll do it!



“Seeker!” she yelled. FML. Seeker is the most important position, if you didn’t know, and I am the most unreliable person in the universe. This’ll end good.



I stomped over to where her freakishly long finger was pointing. Legit. That thing is like ET trying to find his way home.



As the rest of the extremely buff looking Slytherins found their way to their allotted groups, I realized that there was only one other person trying out for Seeker. Seth McCall. Damn. That kid was one of the best flyers in the entire school. Not to mention he was hotter than a cat on fire. And that, my friends, is quite hot indeed.



“Good luck there, Remington,” Seth said and held out his hand for me to shake. I am socially retarded so I just stared at it awkwardly and he gave me a weird look. Nothing new. “Well, I guess you don’t have to wish me good luck, if that’s how you roll.”



“Er…sorry. Break a leg.” I replied half-heartedly. I really wanted him to break a leg, just so I wouldn’t have any serious competition. PLEASE MERLIN, SNAP HIS LEG LIKE A TWIG.



The trials went on for a half hour before Albus called the Seekers out to the pitch. As I mounted my broom and flew over to the (amazing, glorious, stupid, crazy, beautiful) captain, I heard someone cheering from the stands.






At first I thought it was Nanners, I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was, but who it actually was surprised me immensely. It was Ben. The kid I blew off because I got the ‘special’ genes in the family. The kid I ran away from. The kid that actually took interest in my psychotic mind. Why would he come to watch me embarrass myself? Either he’s really cool and shit doesn’t faze him, brothaaaa, or he’s mad that I was a twat face and has showed up to see me fail. Craplife.



Albus called over with a look of awkwardness and creepiness, which made me feel a little proud, because MAYBE I’M RUBBING OFF ON PEOPLE. I’m not sure if that’s good though. Can you imagine an army of Alicias just running around causing havoc and creating anarchy? Throwing melons at old people and constructing flash mobs to confuse the shit out of everyone. We would dance to Justin Bieber’s “Baby”. I may or may not love him. OK I DO A LOT. ALMOST AS MUCH AS ALBUS POTTER. Don’t judge me, haters.



“Ok, I’m going to release the snitch and you two are going to battle to the death. HAHAHAHA. Ok, GO!” Albus shouted.



Before I could even react, Seth blasted off after the golden sphere and Albus gave me this sadistic smirk. EVIL.



I took off after Seth, but soon realized that he had lost sight of it and was very confused. I decided to look high up, because the snitch was always rude and hid high up where no one could find it. Or it hid in the pants of Scorpius Malfoy. Don’t ask…that was a disturbing experience. Let’s just say, Marie Fletcher had to reach in unspeakable places. She needed psychological help after that. I don’t blame her.



I flew around the sky for a while, until I finally saw a glimmer of gold near the south east corner. I began to enter a soft dive, but Seth saw me and took off in the same direction. I knew that he was going to beat me at that rate, so I steepened the angle and was almost going straight down. The ground was nearing quickly, but I still had a good eye on the snitch, and at that point, Seth probably did too. I reached out at snatched it midair, just a metre before hitting the ground and pulled up quickly on the end of my broom. That was probably the best dive I had ever completed, even in my vigorous training for broomstick gymnastics, I had never been able to complete such a steep and dangerous maneuver. I looked up to our Gracious Captain who gave me a thumbs up. I think I had just made Slytherin Seeker. FUCK YES.




“So, practices will be on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 6:00 AM.” The whole team groaned. “Yeah, yeah, it’s early, but that’s when I decided to hold them, so shut your traps!”



Al handed out our jerseys and dismissed us. He’s like a bloody teacher. ‘Do this’. ‘Do that’. ‘You’re a little shit’. We should start calling him Professor Potter. Or Professor Sexy Face. Either one.



I exited the pitch smiling like an idiot. Who knew that Quidditch was so fun? I’ve watched every game that Slytherin has hosted, but that was mostly to watch Albus play, so I never thought of actually being on the team. It was exhilarating! The wind through your hair, the smell of grass, the piercing screams of Thalia McIver. Oh, such fun! I couldn’t wait to tell Robyn. SHE’LL BE SO PROUD OF HER BEST FRIEND FOR LIFE. Plus, she’ll like that I’ve distracted her from that essay that Professor Old Fucker gave us. I finished it a week ago, but she’s a procrastinator, so since it’s due tomorrow, she’s rushing to finish it.



“Hey, Alicia!” I heard someone call my name. Well, I’m pretty sure my name’s Alicia. That’s what I was told at birth, at least. I turned around to see Ben smiling at me.



“Oh, hey!” I replied. Smooth.



“You were amazing out there! You really deserved to make Seeker!”



I smiled, “Thanks, Ben. You should come to our first game! It’s on October 7th.”



Did I just say something not stupid? Wow. Maybe I’m dreaming. Once I had a dream that I was dreaming. It mindfucked me for days.



“Yeah, definitely! It’s against Gryffindor, right?”



“Hell yes! You’ll be cheering on Slytherin, won’t you?”



“For sure, and maybe when you win, I can take you on a date?”



HOLY POOP DID THAT JUST HAPPEN. OMG. OMG. OMG. WHAT?! Ok. Calm down. It’s Ben. Say yes. Say something cool. Something smooth. Quick, answer him before he thinks you’re weird!



“Shut up, brain,” I muttered.



“What?” he said, confused. I fucking said that out loud?! What is wrong with me?



“Oh, that was supposed to stay in my head, sorry.”



He laughed, “No problem. So what do you say?”



“It’s a date.”



OMG I HAVE A DATE. With a boy!! My mom was getting concerned, she’ll be so happy that she’ll marry a horse. LOLOL ok, hopefully not, but still…PRIDE.



I, Alicia Remington, have a date with a real life boy.






A/N: So this is up way sooner than I expected. I dropped one of my challenges so I have more time to get this nonsense validated! I do have a new story up. Another Next Gen. Please go look at it and tell me how much you love it or how much you wish it would burn in a horrific fire. Either one.



Thank you so much for reading, once again, and please chuck me a review, sailor!



Cap'n Al xx