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Hopeless by Crescent Moon
Chapter 7: Find a man
7. Find a man
Summary: Drink. One word that before tonight I didn’t think was that hard to understand. Obviously I need to be corrected as that word doesn’t seem to be in Cammie’s dictionary.
The previous night…
This is my hen night.
I know it’s only a practice, but it’s still my hen night.
So everyone should still do what I want, right?
Everyone seems to know this apart from the one person sitting in front of me.
The one person that it would be great if she actually would.
She isn’t listening to me, so I’ve decided that there must be something wrong with her.
I always get my way, end of.
“Drink.” I order her yet again. Before tonight I thought she was meant to be smart, but apparently I’ve been mistaken. Drink. It’s only one word. Five letters. What’s so hard to understand?
“No Soph, I’ve already told you I’m not going to drink tonight. There needs to be someone to take care of you when it’s time to go. Also I don’t want to be hung over tomorrow in case I get called in for work. Do you know how embarrassing that would be if...” Cammie carried on talking for a while but I switched off.
So everything apparently.
I couldn't be asked to listen anymore because as her drink was still full on the table it meant she wasn't obeying me. Maybe if I try another different drink it would work?
The annoying thing is that Cam should be thanking me that I’m going to all this trouble to get her intoxicated. She’d have so much more fun then.
It’s my hen night (ish) it’s meant to actually be fun for me too. It’s not the night where I have to boss around my little sister. If only she could get it into her thick skull that I’m doing her a favour.
I downed her drink before hobbling back over to the bar to see what else I could get her.
Easier said than done.
Someone, obviously someone stupid, had decided that it would be a marvellous idea to put me in these ridiculously (make my bum look great) high heels. I honestly can’t see what they were thinking. Everyone knows you don’t put someone who’s going to get drunk in heels that you can barely walk in while sober.
Whose daft idea was it anyway?
I think it might actually have been mine.
Never mind, I’ll just have to remember never to do it again… like I will actually remember thinking this in the morning. I plan to get a hell of a lot more drunk than this and I’m already more than slightly tipsy.
I practically collapsed onto the bar stool, when I got here.
“Give me another... err... whatever you want.” I told the barman, it doesn’t really matter what I get Cam as long as she drinks it.
As the barman mixed a colourful looking drink my mind glazed over. You see I’ve been having a strong sense of déja-vu all night, having dealt with Cam like this for the entire day. It went like this:
“Cam, we’re going out tonight.” I told her standing at her front door in the morning.
“You might be, but I’m not.”
“Yes you are.”
“No I’m not.”
“Yes you are, you are my maid of honour. You are coming tonight.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?! Neither is it or wedding or your hen night.”
“It’s my practice hen-night. Remember I was talking to you about it last week.”
“I thought you were joking. I’m not going.”
“I’ll repeat myself then- you as my maid of honour need to be there for it.”
How stupid is she? She should know I need everyone there for tonight so when the actual night come’s around everything goes smoothly.
It’s also a great chance to get drunk.
“I’m not going to something as stupid as a practice hen-night.”
“It’s not stupid and you’re coming.”
This went on for some time, and then again before we left.
“Get into the dress.”
“Get into the dress.”
“I don’t want to.”
I’m dealing with a bloody child here.
I know she’s my younger sister and all, but seriously? She’s only a year or two younger than me.
“Cammie. I’m not going to tell you again, get into the dress.”
“No. Have you seen its length! That’s not going to even cover my bum!” She seems to have failed to see that that’s the point.
“Just get into the damn thing!”
She seems to have forgotten that she is here, and in the dress and the underwear I bought for her.
You see, as I said, I always get my way.
It just takes a bit of time with Cammie as she’s far too smart.
She also has plenty of dirt on me so it makes blackmailing hard.
She also has many different ways of getting out of things.
Far too smart for their sisters good.
“You’re certainly ordering a lot tonight, who’s the lucky man?” I got pulled out of my trance by the barman’s high voice, completely contradicting his looks.
“Not man- sister. I’m trying to get her to drink.” I become very honest when I’m drunk. You see the alcohol gets rid of the barrier between my thoughts and what I say. If I’m not careful I end up telling complete strangers my life story along with all my secrets. (That was one interesting morning.) The only good thing is that I become marginally smarter.
“Trying to get her off your back?”
“Give her this and she’ll be drinking without your help in no time.” He told me slipping something in the multi-coloured drink from under the bar. I smiled back and took the potion/drink, wobbling back to our table trying to spill as little of it as possible.
Thank Merlin for wizarding bars!
Don’t worry you little prudes out there, he hasn’t just drugged her drink. Well he actually has but the potion is completely safe. I’ve even had it before, you can stop drinking. You just don’t particularly want to but you can before you’re dangerously drunk. It also makes you not afraid to, perfect for Cammie over here, as without it she’ll just be hopeless.
Now we just have to get her to drink it.
As you can expect, it took me quite a while to reach the table, but when I eventually got there I placed the drink down in front of Cam, and told her to drink it.
She still didn’t.
“No Soph, haven’t you been listening to what I’ve said..?” I tuned her out again, she wasn’t saying anything interesting. And I’d heard her say it many times before, every time I put a drink in front of her in fact. I gave up with the sensible trying and moved on to pestering.
“No.” She sighed.
Fine then, I didn’t want to do this (a complete lie I’ve been wanting to do this all evening) but you give me no choice.
“Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink...”
“Are you going to do that until I drink?”
I nodded vigorously in reply before realising that it made the world spin. As much fun as it was to watch, I needed to stay focused.
“... drink, drink, drink drink drink drink...”
“No Soph, I really shouldn’t. If you weren’t so drunk yourself you would realise this too.” I ignored everything she said as she was wrong. None drunk Sophie would want her to drink so that drunk Sophie can enjoy herself.
“... drink drink drink drink drinkdrinkdrinkdrinkdrink...”
“I get it, I get it! You can shut up now, I’ll drink the bloody drink just to make you stop!” She shouted at me, before downing it.
My work here is done.
She always gives in in the end.
I nodded in approval before I headed out onto the dance floor. There’s got to be someone here more interesting and fun than her, she’s going to be rather boring now I’ve managed to get her to drink. I brought friends for a reason you know.
I collapsed onto the only empty seat at our table. What on earth possessed me to dance for one hour straight?! It was an even worse idea than putting me in these shoes! I loosened the accursed items.
God, I need a drink.
Perfect, there’s one right in front of me.
“Oi! That’s mine!” A voice said next to me, I didn’t bother to find out who it was, I was too busy choking. Christ that’s strong! Maybe downing some of it wasn’t the best idea... it’s more of a sipping kind of drink. I better stick to my own from now on, but it’s actually quite nice. I’ll just finish it off for this person.
“My hen night, my rules.” I told them, taking another sip of their drink.
“So when you finally get me to drink something, you take it away from me. Don’t know why I’m surprised though, it sounds exactly like you.”
What was she on about? I’d gathered it was a girl from the pitch of their voice. (I know I’m very clever, you don’t need to tell me. The sorting hat must have been going crazy not to put me in Ravenclaw, I mean Hufflepuff?! I’m not kind enough to of been put in that house or loyal for that matter.)
I turned around to see who was speaking such nonsense.
Oh it was Cammie! That makes sense as she often doesn’t make any.
Woah, I just confused myself there. So much for being smarter when drunk.
“Hey Cammie! Long-time no see!” I shouted at her, I wanted someone to talk to. Everyone on the dance floor wanted to dance which got so boring after a while. I practically jumped on top of her in my excitement.
“You saw me an hour ago Soph.” Did I really? I swear it was much longer ago... I really can’t remember. How funny!
I started laughing, still on top of my sister. Poor Cammie, she was getting squished! She was going to become flat! Funny mental image! A flat Cammie, ahahaha!
“Get off me you great lump!” She just called me a great lump! A lump! I’m not a lump! If I’m a lump then she’s a big fat... rock!
I started laughing again at this. I really crack myself up sometimes. Cam looked at me funny; she obviously doesn’t like me thinking she’s a rock. She shouldn’t call me a lump then, should she? Or maybe she wasn’t drunk enough yet to get the funny side.
I called a waiter over to us and told him to get us two shots of the strongest stuff in the house. I’d asked for that a few times before and I honestly can’t remember what happened after. But we’ll have wait and see. Don’t worry Cammie, I’ll make you drunk enough to understand me.
As I watched the waiter leave my brain kicked into motion. Cammie was staring at the waiter, admittedly he was alright looking but I had Louis so I wasn’t really interested in that any more. Then it hit me, Cammie didn’t have Louis. Or anyone.
She was free to look at anyone she pleased, not that she often did.
Cam was all boring and lonely on her own. She hasn’t had a boyfriend since… since… has she actually had a boyfriend? She probably still has her virginity. That’s kind of laughable.
I should really find her a man.
I need to find Cammie a man!
What a brilliant idea! I told you I should have been put in Ravenclaw. My own brilliance still amazes me. How do I come up with this stuff? I would tell you the answer, but no one’s smarter than me to find out.
“We need to find you a man.” I told her.
“What?!” She spluttered.
“We need to find you a man.” I hate repeating myself.
“I’ve got Louis therefore you need a man.”
“I don’t follow your logic.” She said exasperatedly. What’s not to get? I have Louis, ergo I have a man. She has no one, she is alone therefore she needs a man. She was just being difficult as my idea made perfect sense and was one of the most easiest things to follow even if you were drunk. She’s the actual Ravenclaw here so it should have been her that actually came up with the idea. Never mind actually understanding what I was saying.
“Don’t argue with me. I’m going to find you a man- tonight.”
“I really don’t want one Soph.” Cam sighed, slouching further into her chair as if trying to look uninterested would make me shut up. She really doesn’t know me that well.
“Of course you do! You can get them to do anything for you plus you need a good shag.” Having a man is great. And Louis doesn’t complain when I ask him to do something, he’s perfect for me. This isn’t the only reason I’m marrying him of course.
Cammie hadn’t replied. How rude of her. I was about to tell her what I was thinking when I realised she’d gone bright red. Aww, our little virgin. I was right- we desperately need to change this.
“I’m fine.” She eventually muttered out.
“Nonsense. You’re 23, your last (and probably first) kiss was when you were 17. And you’ve never had sex in your life. You need a man.”
“I’m fine, honestly. I have plenty of time to look for one but at the moment I just want to focus on my career.”
“You’ve always been ‘focusing’ on your career. You’re practically the second most important person at your work Cam. The only way for you to get promoted is if that dreadful Skeeter woman leaves. And you told me the other week that you didn’t want to be the head, you liked your position. It’s time for you to find something else to ‘focus’ on- a man.”
“No, like I’ve said before, I’m fine. I don’t want anyone but if someone catches my eye I’ll go for it.” Everyone knows that’s utter rubbish. No one says that and expects to be believed.
“You’re not a lesbian are you? Because if you are that would be fine, I would just need to change direction and find you a woman instead of a man.”
Cam started choking on her own spit. Lovely.
“No! No, I’m straight.”
“Well that’s much easier for me then. You say ‘when someone catches your eye’. Don’t you want to get a little practice in? Look there’s that guy alone there at the bar.”
“He’s been sat there along since we got here, he’s probably some rapist or something.” I looked at the guy again.
“Naww... he’s far too hot for that. He’s probably just been stood up, not sure why, but he looks miserable enough. Maybe you should go and cheer him up.” I love subtle innuendos. You think I’d be too drunk to make them but as I’ve said my intelligence only increases when I’m drunk. To a point anyway.
As I said this, said guy turned around and stared straight at us. Just saying, that’s a little creepy. I nudged Cam to tell her this but she didn’t respond. I turned to her and noticed that she was staring at him, obviously entranced by his hotness. I would be too, if a picture of Louis hadn’t come into my mind. The guy really has to be thankful that he’s half vela.
Is it just me or does creepy guy look familiar?
I took another look at him. I definitely recognise that mop of messy black hair, I just can’t figure where from. If only he would turn around so I could see his face properly.
As if on cue, creepy guy turned around and looked directly at us, again.
What’s he doing here? It’s not like he would just come randomly to the same bar as us, as he lives the other side of town. No one would stand James Potter up and Fred or Louis weren’t with him to give him a excuse.
Oh, that boy is going to be in so much trouble when I get home and sobered up.
What was he thinking?! Sending James to spy on me?
Idiot. I would never do anything.
He is such a fool. An adorable fool at that but still a stupid fool.
Did he honestly think he was going to get away with this?! He sent his cousin alone here. So he could sit and keep tabs on me, could you get anything more conspicuous?!
“I think you might be right. I’ll give him a go.” That was a sudden change of mind. She actually listened to me for once. I’m going to have to write this down to keep a record of it. ‘The day Cammie actually listened to her sister’. I hope this happens more often...
Wait. I just sent my sister of to shag my soon to be cousin in law. She can’t do that! It’s weird! Never mind it has to be wrong in some aspect.
I’m going to have to stop her. But she’s already half way across the dance floor, walking purposely towards him.
“No wait!” I tried to shout after her, but my feeble voice was lost in the sound of the music. I stumbled up to go and follow her. But I only got two steps before I fell over those loosened ridiculously high heels.
I tried to get up, only to fall over again.
“Are you alright down there Miss?” Of course when I’m sprawled across the floor the waiter has to come back. It wouldn’t make any sense otherwise.
He put my drinks down on the table and helped me up and shoved me onto the chair I’d fallen off. Before I had chance to thank him he got called away again.
Taking my drinks with him.
Why did he take them, did I ask for him to take them away?! No I didn’t.
I called another waiter to order me another one while trying to find out where the other waiter could possibly be taking my drinks. But then the other waiter arrived with my drink and actually left it here, I was starting to like him more than the other one already. This provided enough of a distraction from my search and I soon forgot about it. The other waiter wasn’t worth the time.
My friends came back off the dance floor and sat down. They called back the nice waiter and ordered us a load of shots.
And so started the 10th drinking game of tonight and really, who was I to refuse to play at my own party?
Soon the fact that Cam was probably chatting up my (soon to be) cousin in law, even the fact that she came in the first place was long forgotten.
I only remember that something really weird was also very funny so I have to laugh every time I try and think of the past. And when I saw a blonde woman leave with a messy dark haired man, my only thought was that someone was getting lucky tonight.
I bet this wasn’t what you thought would happen with the POV’s, but this has actually been set in my mind from quite near the beginning. I hope it’s more interesting than them just speaking.
What do you think of Sophie? I’m not really too pleased with the way I’ve written her or this chapter to be honest. Can I just say that she isn’t normally this… bitchy, please bear in mind that she’s completely trashed even from the beginning. I also really don’t know how to write someone this drunk so I’ve taken quite a bit of a poetic licence here.
So, who do you think is going to be the next POV? I’d love to hear who you think.
Thank you so much for reading and it was only what… 2 months ish for this chapter to come out. That’s actually quite good for me but I hope to get better. I just need to write the next chapter now… XD
If you could leave a review it would mean so much to me.