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The Sidekick by Peaches and Knives
Chapter 1: And So it Begins.
Beautiful chapter image by &thereshegoes at TDA
Crap. My knee was bleeding.
Why, you may ask? Because I scraped my knee climbing through my best friend, Rose Weasley’s window at ten at night.
Again, you may ask, “Why?” Well, I am trying to save her from her livid father who just learned that she was pregnant at the age of sixteen with Scorpius Malfoy’s baby. Yeah, things are usually weird around here.
My name is Chase Longbottom- no, I am not a boy. But, considering the amount of attention I get from the male species, I might as well be a boy.
“YOU ARE NOT MY DAUGHTER!” Uncle Ron shouts at Rose as he bangs on her door, Aunt Hermione trying to hold him back. They aren’t my real aunt and uncle, my family is just so close to the Potters and Weasleys that I’ve been taught to consider them family.
“Chase! You’re finally here! Take me away!” Rose prolongs the last syllable, and then grabs me by my shoulders and starts shaking me. How did this girl get laid?
Oh right, her perfect hair, face, and body. Not to mention the fact that she’s smart, nice, and pretty much perfect in every way.
Not that I’m secretly envious of her. Because that would be stupid; the sidekick is hardly ever jealous of the main character. Unless we’re talking about a TV show, of course, in which there’s usually one episode where the sidekick hears voices in their heads about how jealous they are of their much cooler counterpart.
I have this issue with relating real life to fiction.
“Chase! Snap out of it! We have to get going before Dad gets his wand and breaks through the door!”
“Yeah. Okay. Sorry,” I climb back out the window, making my movements very precise and obvious so that she can follow me exactly as I crawl down the roof to the gutter, where I hop off and hang by just my arms. From there I use my hands to shuffle down to the farthest side of the roof, where I swing my feet around so that they catch onto the shed, from which I jump onto the ground.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I just did that in skinny jeans. Skinny jeans, I should add, which are now quite ripped and bloody in the left knee area.
“Chase! Um, well I’m wearing a sundress. So I’m just going to jump and you catch me, kay?”
“Wait Rose no-“
Next thing I know, I’m on the ground with one-hundred-and-five pounds of Weasley on top of me. And no, unfortunately I am not talking about Louis Weasley. But hopefully Louis weighs more than that. I mean, he has to, with all that muscle…
“Okay, Longbottom, you better be thinking about Louis again, because otherwise I’m kind of creeped out by the fact that you are making those googly eyes whilst your pregnant best friend is on top of you.”
“Oh!” I sit up, causing Rose to roll onto my lap, “You just jumped off a roof with a little person in your uterus!”
She stands up and straightens her dress. Err, Rose does that, not the fetus. Not really sure about the gender there seeing as she’s only a month pregnant.
“Eh, it’s okay. Uncle George told me that when my mom was pregnant with me, she fell down a flight of stairs, and I turned out fine!”
I look at her sideways like she’s crazy, but she just giggles.
“ROSE WEASLEY, WHERE ARE YOU?” We here Uncle Ron’s voice come from her room above. He must’ve gotten in.
“Let’s get out of here,” I state obviously, as is my sidekick duty. We run to my tiny old car and hop in, and I speed out of the driveway and onto the street. I try my best to go fast without completely disregarding the speed limit.
“So, tell me Rose,” I look at her for a second to give her a half smile at our shenanigans, “D’you think that your dad is angrier that you got knocked up, or that Scorpius Malfoy was the knocker?”
Rose gets a goofy grin, “Really, Chase, knocker? And he’s definitely madder that it was Scorpius. If he found out that I was carrying the child of Ollie Wood or Billy Finnigan, he’d probably throw the baby shower himself.”
Tiredly, I give a snort, “Ollie and Billy. They end with the same syllable.”
“Oh no, you’re making jokes about phonetics. Chase, honey, is the insomnia back?” My best friend leans over to look at me as I watch the road.
I bite my lip, “We’re here.”
Ol’ Faithful, as I call my car, screeches as we reach our destination, the crap shack also known as the Leaky Cauldron, also also known as where I live. Yes, I live above a bar with my mom and dad. Sounds cool, huh? No, not really.
“You sure Uncle Neville and Aunt Hannah will be okay with this?”
“You know that all they want is to be the ‘cool parents’.”
Rose nods, still staring ahead. Sure, on the car ride here we were all giggles and laughs, but I could tell that everything was really starting to hit her. It’s still weird for me to think back on when she told me.
Hogwarts Girl’s Dorm, Friday Before Winter Break, Morning Before Classes
“Chase. I need to talk to you,” I’d never seen my best friend so pale.
I knew I had to find some way to cheer her up before she said whatever she needed to, that’s what the sidekick does, so I smiled at her, “Oh Merlin, Rose, are you Sixteen and Pregnant?” I tried to joke about the cheesy show we love to hate.
But then her eyes went big, and she turned from pale to a weird greenish color.
My throat felt hoarse as the realization hit me, “Are we skipping classes today?” Suddenly, everything in the world felt so real.
Rose just nodded, her pretty face strained like she had something stuck in the back of her throat.
“So,” I said as we sat on my bed facing each other, the morning air feeling crisp even indoors, “I’m going to assume it was Scorpius?”
She nodded again.
“How many times did you guys… y’know. Fuck?” I asked it bluntly, not embarrassed by my curiosity. My bluntness usually always made her laugh, and it seemed to do some help because it looked like she swallowed whatever was stuck in her throat.
“Just the once. The night after we took that test in potions.”
Of course. It made sense, Rose and Scorpius didn’t used to even like each other. But then the competitiveness they had with grades started to give them some weird kind of high, and when puberty hit it all got transferred into sexual energy. After they snogged the first few hundred times, they realized that they also had emotional feelings for each other and started dating. Honestly, I’m shocked they didn’t sleep together earlier; they spent half the O.W.L. season last year clinging to each other like hippogriffs in heat.
“Didn’t you use protection?” I asked the obvious question, my sidekick duty.
“The condom broke.”
“Oh,” At least they tried to be responsible.
Rose did the noddy thing again.
“Are you going to try and tell your dad it’s a Virgin Mary situation?”
“What?” I tried to look innocent, “An elaborate and blasphemous lie seems like it’d be a lot easier than actually telling your dad on Monday, and then having to spend an entire two weeks with him.”
She rolled her eyes at me, “Chase, you know I hate to say this, but we have to be serious. And, if my dad takes it bad, I can just come and stay with you at the Cauldron.”
“Of course you can, you’re always welcome.”
And here we were.
“I really like that dress,” I say, little compliments are good for cheering Rose up.
I open the door of the bar and walk in. I wave hi to all the locals, Big Carter, Pete the cobbler, One-a-day Susan, and Young Scotty. Big Carter was about 6’6”, and thin as a nail. Pete the cobbler was the oldest man on Diagon Alley, a jittery drunk that didn’t lose his shakes after the prohibition ended. One-a-day Susan was a lonely housewife that would come here every day in her Sunday best and order just one glass of wine, and then just sit there with it. After hours she would suddenly chug the wine and walk out. But Young Scotty was probably the saddest of them all; only twenty-four and already a drunk. He works at the pet shop during the day time, but during his off hours he just sits in the bar and drinks his life away.
The saddest part about it is that he’s Teddy Lupin’s best friend. For the entire first year he started coming here, two years after they graduated from Hogwarts, Teddy would be in here almost every night trying to get his friend off his sorry ass. But it never worked. Eventually, Scott became a regular, and people started calling him Young Scotty.
I hop over the bar to the door behind it that leads up to our apartment; Rose softly walks around the bar in the most ladylike way I’ve ever seen someone act in a dive like this.
But that’s how Rose is; without her class, she’s nothing. That’s why she’s the protagonist and I’m the sidekick.
We walk up some steep stairs and reach another door, and behind it we find my parents in the living room.
“Hi, Chase. Rose, what are you doing here?” Mom asks.
“Guys,” I start, I know Rose doesn’t have the courage to say it, “Rose is pregnant.”