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Chapter 11: Red Velvet Cupcakes
A/N: Oops my hand slipped...here's another 1,000 word chapter...okay both my hands slipped...on a slippery...slide...mhmm
Yayyyy! We finally have red velvet cupcakes! Yeah buddy! Das right! I'm a saint, following through on my promises and stuff. Sorry if this took so long to go up, since I'm kind of traveling to UK now on summer vacation...so I'm on a plane...writing this *hopefully* amazing chapter for you...A;LSKDJF YAY I'M IN THE LAND WHERE HARRY POTTER STARTED...ish...kinda. Anyway, here you go, with a lovely chapter image coming up soon, also done by mah bestie, maxine. You guys are cool beans.
Disclaimer: I do not own Superman. He belongs to DC Comics. So does his clone Superboy...and Superboy's soulmate forever and ever Miss Martian (M'gaan M'orrz). Supermartian is the most beautiful couple ever. Okay maybe Chalant and Spitfire are better. Okay. I'm stopping now...FEELS.
That's it Rosie, just slowly creep out...you're a stealthy ninja, yes that's right. You're a super cool undercover agent on a mission of inconpicuosity--or is it inconspicuousness?--oh well, just keep going. You're a sneaky, silent devil in the ni--
SPLAT--hey where'd the splat come from? I'm just carrying pots and pans...OH MERLIN. MY RED VELVETS.
No! My babies! You can't die on me now! Not before your delicious goat cheese icing, with tiny smatters of cinnamon, and scrumptious chocolatey, red cupcake ENTER MY MOUTH. No, this is not part of the mission, do not abort. Repeat, do not abort!
I dive to the floor, desperate for at least a bite of my precious cupcakes.
YES! Five second rule! They're still good! That's right, universe, I beat you again, go marry a horse, and have ugly icky babies...then the horse will leave you for a mongoose. Because you don't even deserve a horse! Ha.
Bloody hell, I'm lame. Feh, whatever I'm a sexy beast...okay maybe not, but I'm still an overflowing bowl of awesome sauce...yeah...Okay fine, awkward sauce would be more accurate.
I stood back up, waist and up covered in icing and cupcakes, but it's okay, I might get hungry later. And this way I won't even have to get out of bed. Yes, I am a disgusting pig, but trust me I only get that with food, and it's not my fault that I am Ron Weasley's daughter...or that my aunt is Astoria Malfoy, who has been committed into a psychiatric ward more than once.
Then again, in her defense, the second time she was committed was when Lily dared her to last a whole week on coffee and coffee only. Who knew sweet innocent Lily could be so...devilish...
"Look for the bear necessities, the simple bear necessities. Forget about your worries and your strife!", I sang loudly to myself. It didn't really matter if Filch was here, I could always just shift into someone else before he popped up like a crazy daisy.
Before I could finish serenading the air with my beautiful voice (ha), I blindly stumbled into a hole in a wall, behind a tapestry. Cool! Another secret passage way! I can't wait to tell Scorpius...oh...look, Scorpius and his tramp-of-the-week...not cool. I guess I don't need to tell him...
"Erm...Rose, what are you doing here?", Scorpius turned to me, trying to look decent with his messy hair, swollen lips, and rumpled shirt. Bloody wanker.
"I am on my way to serenade a fabulous purple dragon to sleep", I whispered in an awed voice.
"And you're covered in cake because...?", Scorpius looked at me concerned. Oh Merlin...he looked at his mum like that...I must look like a mess!
"It's his birthday, and I don't have candles so he's going to set my pretty red hair on fire, and I'll be the cake!", seriously how do I come up with these things? I'm a fucking genius. I have super powers! I need a theme song.
"Thumparanananant! Teeneepadada!!!", I screeched.
"Should I even ask?", Scorpius looked down at me with a knowing smile. Why does he have to look down at me, people don't look down at super heroes! That's ludicrous. I used to be taller than that boy. Stupid puberty--well actually, I can't say that to puberty since it made most of the boys in my year the best eye candy on the planet earth, with their ripped muscles, beautifully sculpted abs! Don't even get me started on Griffin Finnigan's abs, I actually tried to grate cheese on them once. I guess in that case, thank Merlin for puberty! Oops, off topic.
"I'm a super-hero.", I told him with a straight face.
"Wow really? You're a super hero? That is so cool! In muggle studies I was watching some movies, and they have this beefy guy named Superman and he's amazing, he could beat an army of wizards! I've always wanted to meet him! Can I get your autograph?", the Tramp squealed out of nowhere.
I shoot Scorpius a quizzical brow, starting our mind-reading conversation. We're cool that way. Seriously, Scorp? I knew they came in stupid, but I didn't know brain-dead was now an option.
He rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders. Don't ask me! She's really sexy okay? She''s just a hot snog.
I glared at him. Really? She's hot? That's it? Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, you are such a pig!
He looked at me calmly and gave an exhale. Rose, calm down, play nice. It's only for the week, right?
I gave him the Scowl of Death. It better be.
"Well Rosie, if you haven't noticed, Melonie and I have a little business to get back to. Tongue wrestling and whatnot...", he smirked at me.
No! He can't do this. Arg. I always get so awkward when people go around talking about things like that. While everyone elegantly strutted their way through the whole sexual stuff, puberty and hormones, I still laugh like a hyena when I see the breakfast sausages every morning! I get this annoying blabber mouth that says things even beyond brain-dead and make me want to commit suicide shortly after...Oh Merlin, here it comes.
"Oh yeah...erm...sure Scorpy-Worpy...you go do that", Scorpy-Worpy? Really, brain?, "Go ahead! Get it on! Go make beautiful babies together!", may the Lord have mercy on my soul, "You guys go be fucking sexual together!", nooo! There goes all my dignity. Time to go.
I turn to dash down the passageway, and the last thing I see is Scorpius clutching his stomach in pain from all the laughing. Yeah that's right! It better hurt. Go jump in a pool of acid, ugh. I shoot him the two finger salute and run off.
I really don't know why I bother with this irritating boy. I swear to Merlin he is going to get me into the hospital one day.
A/N: What do you think of Rose? Think she spends a little too much time with Astoria? Why do you think she's become like this? You think I should keep it up in Rose's POV?