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Just A Game by TearsIMustConceal
Chapter 5: The mood it changes like the wind, hard to control when it begins.
Disclaimer; I do not own anything in the Harry Potter world. Credit goes to JK.
gorgeous chapter image by bellatrixx @ TDA!
Strolling into the Common Room, I saw pretty much the whole group talking in hushed voices. Fighting back the urge to punch them all and also to throw up, I took a deep breath and walked over to them.
“Hey guys, what are we talking about?” They all jumped, shutting up instantly (not suspicious at all. If I was a paranoid person, I would think they were talking about me).
“Nothing much. Just discussing…business.” Answered Malfoy, a dark tone in his voice.
“And what kind of business would that be? Anything I would be interested in, or is about someone who is interested in me?” They stared while I took a seat in one of the open armchairs.
“It might have been something to interest you…we were just unsure about your…commitment.”
“Well you have nothing to worry about. I am committed.”
Malfoy raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Once you commit, you can’t go back.”
I took a deep breath. “Yes, I’m sure.”
“Well that’s excellent. The Dark Lord will be thrilled, as will your Father. Now let’s get down to business.”
An hour later, I was finally set free from all the talk and I felt positively nauseous knowing all the details. Voldemort was planning a war, a war so great that if you weren’t on his side, then you were most likely going to die. He already had so many followers; all the great pureblood families had already pledged allegiance to him, my family included. The only way Voldemort was going to be defeated was if Dumbledore knew the extent of what was going on; he was the only one strong enough to take Voldemort down. Sitting down at dinner, I felt like a zombie, nodding and talking on cue and when spoken to. No one seemed to notice what was going on in my head and I was grateful that I could act.
Walking out amongst my brother, Malfoy, Evan and the rest, I wasn’t looking where I was going when I walked into someone. Falling flat on my arse, I looked up to see Lily Evans, with the Marauders behind her. Feeling eyes on me, I knew what I had to do.
Standing up and growling, I snarled at Evans.
“Watch where you’re walking, Mudblood.” Even saying the word felt horrible, it left a horrid taste in my mouth but I knew it was expected of me, especially now I was one of ‘them’.
Within minutes, I had 2 wands at my throat, belonging to Potter and Black. Reaching for my own wand, I grabbed it and whipped it out.
“Do you really want to do this, you filthy blood traitors?” The words from Malfoy’s mouth distracted for me a moment. The urge to smack him was unbelievable but I knew I couldn’t. Instead, I smirked at both Potter and Black.
“Yes boys, do you really want another months worth of detentions when Slughorn finds out?”
They both growled, not lowering their wands. I sighed.
“Fine then, have it your way. ‘Petrificus Totalus’.”
Both of the boys instantly froze on the spot. I smirked at them, walking closer to them.
“Tough luck boys. Maybe next time.”
I put my wand away and walked over to the group, were Malfoy was frowning at me.
“Weak spell, Martinez.”
I glared. “Well, I wasn’t about to use an unforgivable curse, was i?”
He said nothing and I walked away to clear my head and to get away from the pompous git.
Sitting in an empty classroom, I absentmindedly kicked the table in front of me, my conscience telling me that that I was a bad, evil person for calling Evans a mudblood. I was that engrossed, I didn’t hear anyone come in until it was too late and I was up against the cold, stone wall.
“What the hell was that?”
I looked into the cool grey eyes staring back at me and smirked. “It was me being a Slytherin, it’s what’s expected of us, is it not?”
Sirius growled. “And there’s me thinking you were different!”
I shrugged. “Looks like you were wrong, doesn’t it? Now let me go before I hex you into next week!”
He shook his head, pushing me further into the wall. “No you won’t. Back then, you were expected to hit me with an unforgivable curse, yet you didn’t. I think you didn’t want to hurt me or James and you don’t want to now, either.”
“Well you thought wrong! I might be a Slytherin but I’m not stupid enough to use an unforgivable curse in the middle of the corridor! Now let me go Black!” He didn’t move so I did what any other girl would do in this situation; I kneed him. He instantly drew back and I pushed him away, my wand at his throat.
“Just leave me alone Black, I don’t need you bothering me anymore!” I was about to leave when he stopped me.
“You know what? You are just like them. Never thought you would ever become a puppet.”
I turned back, angry.m“Did it ever cross your thick headed brain that I am perhaps doing this to survive? I’m playing the part I should have always played, it’s the only way.” I gave him one last look before leaving the classroom and making my way back to the common room for the night.
“Nice work with Black, Gisela.” I had just sat down for breakfast in the Great Hall when I heard Bellatrix congratulate me.
“Giving him one hell of a beating! He must be reeling at the fact a girl hurt him, but it’s nothing less than he deserves, the filthy blood traitor.”
I frowned. What the hell was she talking about?
I was just about to ask her when a voice whispered down my ear.
“You’re welcome.” Turning, I saw Evan smirking at me.
“What the hell is going on? What is Bellatrix talking about?” He was about to answer when Sirius entered the Great Hall, limping and looking like hell. Then it dawned on me.
“Did you do that? And you’re trying to pass it off as me? Why?”
“Yes, I did and I did it because Malfoy was getting suspicious so I did this so he would get off your back. You’re welcome, by the way.”
I looked at him in disbelief. “Are you actually serious?”
I was about to leave when Malfoy appeared in front of me. “You’ve proved me wrong princess, I thought you weren’t devoted but after seeing Black this morning, I see that you are. Great job.”
I gave him a weak smile before leaving quickly, Evan hot on my trail.
I stopped and sighed. “What do you want Evan?”
"Look, I am just trying to protect you from Malfoy and The Dark Lord. If they leave you alone, you can breathe for a while; let someone else be in the spotlight. I thought I was doing you a favour.”
I smiled a little at Evan, who looked genuine. For once.
“I know and you know what? Thank you, I appreciate it a lot.”
Having not seen this side to Evan for a long time, I gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“Perhaps I should do this more often if I get thanked like that.”
I laughed. “Don’t push your luck, Evan. I’ll see you in class.”
He nodded and walked back to the Great Hall, giving me once last glance over his shoulder before disappearing through the doors. Turning, I made my way to Defence, not caring if I was the first one there for a change.
Once inside, I took my usual seat and leant my head against the wall. I should have been happy. This was what I wanted. To not be under Malfoy’s watchful eyes but for some reason, I felt guilty and sick. If the story going around that I beat Sirius up, then I am becoming what everyone expected of me; a bitch. Although I was known for being cold, I was usually fair and didn’t hex people without a reason but in the last two days, I had hexed Black and Potter and now I was to blame for Black being beaten up, even if I didn’t lift a finger to him. I suppose now I was a proper Slytherin, at least in Malfoy’s eyes. It was a great relief not to have him looking over my shoulder everywhere I went, checking to see if I would give up the pretence and finally swear my allegiance to Dumbledore. Hearing the doors open and people talking, I sat up in my seat and tried to blend in as the other students took their seats.
“So, is it true?”
I sighed and looked up to see a Ravenclaw staring at me. “Is what true?”
“That you beat up Sirius Black. Some say you used an unforgivable curse on him.”
It was the twentieth time today that I had been asked and my patience was wearing thin.
“Well, carry on talking to me and you will soon find out, won’t you?”
She squeaked and turned away, back to her books. Standing up, I grabbed the book I needed and walked out of the library, looking for somewhere peaceful to study.
“Great idea, you know. Getting your boyfriend to beat up Padfoot and then letting you take the credit, makes you seem like a real tough bitch.” I had been expecting Potter to make an appearance, although I was quite surprised at how long it had taken him. Most likely due to Evans trying to talk him out of it.
I turned to him, smirking. “Well you know, I wasn’t placed in Slytherin for nothing. If you’ve come here to hex me or beat me up or just plain annoy the fuck out of me, then go away because I really don’t want to hear it. Goodbye.”
“Is that all you have to say? Have you not seen the state of Sirius? Your boyfriend did a pretty bang up job on him. He can barely walk and you don’t care. You used to be friends.”
“That was a long time ago. He chose his side and now I have chosen mine. He knows it so just leave me the fuck alone. I don’t want to listen to you. And will you stop referring to Evan as my boyfriend. He isn’t.”
“I swear to Merlin, you will all get what’s coming to you in the end.”
I ignored Potter, continuing down the corridor as though I couldn’t hear him and his threats. I didn’t need to listen to it. All I wanted was to be left alone. Heading towards an abandoned classroom, I slipped in and began to do my work in peace.
Lying in bed, I was just about to close my eyes when there was knock on the door. Getting up, I drew back my curtains and tiptoed to the door, opening it slowly so it didn’t creak like it usually did. I frowned when I saw Lola standing in front of me, her face sad.
“What’s up Lola?” She said nothing, instead she walked past me and crawled into my bed. Shaking my head, I shut the door again and walked back to my bed, drawing the curtains and sitting down.
“Silencio.” I muttered, knowing that Lola was here to say something important and nothing that should be heard by listening ears. “Now are you going to tell me what this is all about?”
She said nothing again, instead finding the hem of my cushion fascinating. She picked at it furiously before I moved it out of her grasp.
"No need to ruin my cushion.”
She gave me a small smile before cuddling into my side. We lay there for a while before I felt her take deep breath.
“Is it true what everyone is saying? About you beating up Sirius.”
I sighed. “No, it’s not.”
“But everyone is saying you did it. And he isn’t denying it! People think he might have tried to…rape you” I shushed her, soothing her panicking voice.
“It’s not true, any of it. What have I told you about listening to gossip?”
“Not to.” She mumbled.
“Exactly. Look, this whole thing is just part of something that you shouldn’t worry your pretty little head over, okay?” Feeling her nod, I smiled and kissed her hair. “So, no more talk about this? She nodded again.
“Good girl. Night baby girl.”
“Night Gigi. Love you.” I smiled.
“Love you too.”
Hearing her breathing finally even out, I slipped out of bed and down to the common room, which was empty apart from my cat, Timothy, who was lying on the sofa. Picking him up, I placed him on my knee as I sat down, stroking his fur gently as he purred.
“What are you still doing up?” I looked up to see my brother in the stairway to the boy’s dormitories, his eyes tired.
“Lola is in my bed and you know what she’s like sometimes.”
He nodded and sat down beside him. “Why is she in your bed?”
“She was worried that Black had tried to rape me and that’s why Ev-“ I stopped myself quickly. “I beat him up. It’s things like this that make me realise she is still so young and innocent. I wish she could stay like that.”
I rested my head on Pedro’s shoulder. “I wish we were still innocent, things would a lot less complicated right now.”
“Tell me about it. All this, as much as I believe in it, it’s actually quite scary when you think about it. I don’t if I’m ready to be a fighter. I was always the weaker one compared to you. And you beating up Black just reminds me of that.”
“You’re not weak at all! How many times have you stood up for me? You will be able to fight. I believe in you little brother.” I lifted my head and saw him smile; my goal complete. Laying my head back down, he kissed the top of my hair, much like I had done to Lola and rested his head on mine before standing up.
“I best get back to bed.”
I nodded and stood up with him, Timothy in my arms, “Me too. Night little brother.”
I crept back into my dormitory, slipping into the covers beside a heavily sleeping Lola, letting Timothy get comfy at the end of the bed. Closing my eyes, I tried to think of the one good thing that may well come out of this, or at least for now; that my siblings and I were back to being close.
A/N - Uni has been crazy so i apologise for this being later than planned. For those who read and review my story, a big thank you!! It means a lot that you enjoy it!