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Chapter 1: There isn't very much
It’s not a mug. It’s too short to be one, but she has her hands wrapped around it, breathing in the aroma of the hot chocolate, a favorite of hers that’s stayed since the age of two. Her wedding ring, the one we both have, rests against the wide ceramic mug, gently clinking every time she moves her finger.
Her soft brown eyes haven’t left the window’s view. She looks at the dark clouds that hold the raindrops that are waiting until we start to walk home. I know this because we didn’t bring an umbrella. She turns to me and smiles. She still has that same beautiful smile. I know all this, but I’m too lost to answer the question she just asked me.
Detail is the key in this situation.
When I found out that I might forget who I am and what I’ve done, the first thought that came to my mind was the pleasure of forever forgetting Lord Voldemort, forgetting the whole battle, especially at this age. It seemed like a bit of heaven. Then I looked at Ginny, only a year younger, and she looked as though she was about to cry.
We went home in complete silence, me holding her hand the entire way. I didn’t know what to say, and it wasn’t until I saw her twirling the sun catcher, muttering about how we had to tell the family, did I know.
I stood next to her, reaching up to twirl the sun catcher, my fingers gently brushing against her’s. She smiles at me, a real genuine smile, and I hold her in my arms, knowing I can’t stop time but I can remember.
“I might lose my brain, I might forget my name. The things that have happened throughout my entire life, but I can promise you, Gin, I’ll never forget you.”
I could tell she didn’t believe me. She wanted to, but she knew what was real and what wasn’t. She just smiled and wrapped my arms around her.
That brings us back to here, where detail is the key. To remember all the past, to remember all the present, I have to remember the details. I can remember for me, I can picture it perfectly, but when asked, my mind goes blank, and I have to start again, memorizing all those details.
I do remember, though. She doesn’t know, but I remember her and I’ll die if I ever forget. How can you forget the person who you love? The person who is your everything? You can’t really. You can’t form the words, but in my mind Ginny’s still there, smiling, crying, laughing, talking, acting like it’s always been the same. She’s still with me.
All the days of her, of the life we had, are still with me. Call me crazy, call me sick and put me to bed, but you can’t take away my Ginny. She’s right beside me, always. You can’t ask me, but they are words I can’t from. But I know.
I remember her handing me that stupid singing card. It was awful, even for a twelve year old it looked like she emptied a jar of glitter on it, and it was still sticky from all the wizards’ glue she used. It sang, loudly and shrilly, mind you. But I found it years later; it was under my dorm bed and Neville sent it to me. Imagine while in the middle of giving a full Auror report an owl comes in with a singing card? I was ever so grateful that she made it for me. In the end I passed that Auror report because of it…Don’t ask.
I remember when she hexed me for the first time. It was on complete accident, so she said. She had meant to go for Ron, but I got hit with her bat-bogey-hex. I first I was surprised about her hexing abilities but having bats come out of my nose slowly ruined the amazement. Then I looked back up to tell her it was fine and help her get Ron, but I completely forgot about. I think the whole image of her just took me by surprise.
I remember sixth year. The two of us running around the school like a bunch of idiots. I remember her studying a lot and her pretending to get mad at me because I was interrupting. She loved to play with my glasses, all the time, and I loved her for it. She talked a lot, but she was the world’s best listener. She was the highlight of sixth year. Everything else? Well, it didn’t matter…Then.
The clock was ticking away. I was supposed to be in class in three minutes, but instead I was following Ginny through the bookshelves as she looked for random books to help with her studies. We might have been dating, but I was still begging her to go out with me tonight instead of burying herself in her tests.
She, on the other hand, was teasing me by coming up with different excuses as to why she couldn’t. Some of the reasons were true, but I wasn’t about to admit that.
“Go out with me,” I protested, knowing she was smiling, even though I couldn’t see her face.
“I’m studying,” she replied, trying to hide her smile by biting her bottom lip.
“The next night then,” I insisted, following her as she walked through the rows and rows of bookshelves.
She paused, trying to think of a good enough excuse that she knew would drive me crazy. “I’m studying that night too.”
“You can’t spend your whole life studying,” I replied, pulling the book out of her hand. I could finally see the smile I knew was there all along. “You’ll turn into a book, and you know I would be lost without you.”
“I have to pass my tests,” she replied, looking amused as she took the book back. “But I’ll put your pain at ease, and I’ll try to wrap it up early.”
“You have answered my prayers,” I replied, kissing her on the cheek and racing away before I missed my class.
I remember the morning we finally had a long moment alone, shall we say. I didn’t fall asleep. I just had my arms wrapped around her, I couldn’t stop smiling, and neither could she, even in her sleep. She didn’t even open her eyes until the morning fog rolled in. I was still holding her, her hair falling a thousand different directions. I kept thinking how lucky I was. In a sense, she was mine now. She looked at me and laughed, shaking her head as though we did something stupid.
“What?” I asked, confused as to what was so funny.
She got on top and kissed me before answering. “We’re idiots for not doing that ages ago.”
She was right.
I’m lucky, I know that, but I wished I could do more. I wished I could say something that would let her know. Let her know that I’m still here for her, that I still love her. That I will always be around, that no matter what she’ll be my Ginny Weasley.
These are the only memories I still have, that I can still hold onto. I don't know who the names James, Albus, and Lily belong to, even though Ginny talks about them all the time. I don't know anything anymore, and she is the only person who is still with me in my mind. She is the one person I can't let go of. She is all I can rember, she is everything I don't want to forget.
“You ok?” asks Ginny, her hand holding onto mine and pulling me from my thoughts.
I tried to manage the words. All I want to do is say three words, but my mind is a stone wall and feels like I’m slowly forgetting who’s holding my hand. All it comes down to are the memories that stay with me forever. To her I am a memory of a better person.
I am no longer that better person, but she doesn’t know how much I want to be.
I feel in writing this, I'm kind of taking a risk, but I hope you all like it and please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, review.