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Chapter 6: Forgiveness
After a few minutes, we left Camille, and started heading back to the Leaky Cauldron to floo back home. I couldn't even look at Draco, let alone hold his hand. I crossed my arms over my chest to show him I was not interacting with him in any way.
He seemed to understand, because he didn't look at me either. He kept his eyes down, and his hands shoved in his pockets. His eyes darted around occasionally, as though making sure Nate and I were still there.
Nate also didn't say much, but a smile was on his face, and it wouldn't take me three guesses to know why. He thinks that now that Draco has fucked up royally I won't be mad at him anymore. He's wrong. True, I'm not as pissed as I was before, I'm still mad about what he did.
The moment my feet hit the floor of our living room, I walked quickly up to my room. I could hear footsteps right behind me, that no doubt belonged to Draco.
"Hey, how was shopping?" Alana asked.
"Fucking fantastic!" I said as I continued walking to my room. I quickly entered my room, and slammed the door, locking it.
I hear Draco sigh on the other side of the door. Then I heard his retreating footsteps. I flung myself on my bed and cried. Draco had kept something this big from me. He was engaged and he never thought to tell me.
If he would have just told me when he found about Nate I wouldn't have been upset, I would have understood that he was scared to tell me. But continuing to keep this secret after finding out about Nate was just wrong of him. He should have told me.
At least he didn't lie, I thought. I don't know if I could take him lying to me again. But Draco keeping this from me, isn't that like lying? No. Maybe he tried to tell me, but I never gave him the chance or something. That must be it. Draco wouldn't risk our relationship like this by not telling me.
I know. I'm purposely making an excuse so we don't have to fight. Whatever.
I heard a knock at me door. Using my wand, I unlocked the door and said "Come in." Prepared to hear Draco grovel. Only it wasn't Draco, it was Nate.
"What do you want?" I asked. I couldn't even sound mad, cause I was still crying.
"To see if you're okay. You seem upset." He shrugged.
"Wouldn't you be if you found out your boyfriend was engaged?" I asked.
"Well, um, I don't exactly have boyfriends, but I get what you mean. I'd be pretty damn upset too." He replied.
"I thought Draco and I were way past keeping things from eachother." I admitted sadly.
"Oh, Aria, he's a guy. Guys are never past keeping things from their girlfriends, or fucking up terribly." Nate sat down on my bed.
"Why do guys have to be like that?" I asked.
"No idea." He answered. "Maybe when I stop doing that myself, I'll have an answer. As of right now, you of all people know that I haven't exactly stopped doing that." There was a hint of regret in his voice.
"This feeling sucks."
"What sucks even more is how the guy feels after he's fucked up terribly. That feeling that you've lost what truly matters to you. How stupid you feel when you realize you had all you wanted all along, you just...didn't know until she was gone. And worse, that pang in your heart, and the sinking feeling in your stomache when your realize you may never get her back." Nate had said this all so slowly.
Is that how he truly feels about what happened with me? Stupid for not realizing I was everything? Did it hurt him that much to see me with Draco? Suddenly I felt bad. I was mad at him, but I didn't want him to feel that way, but he should know how I feel.
"What about the girl?" I said. "That horrible feeling of losing what you wanted because you were being taken for granted. You feel stupid, because you thought you were what he wanted, and then he leaves, and...you realize you're not. And worse, the coldness in your heart, and the sickness in your stomache when you realize you don't really hate him, but you hate the fact that he can make you fall right back in." I had spoken just as slowly.
"I'm so sorry, Aria." He said. "I'm an ass for making you feel like that. I didn't know..."
"I think I finally forgive you." I said quietly.
"That's all I ever wanted." He repiled.
I didn't say anything. A few moments later, someone else entered my room. "Aria, can we please talk?" Draco asked.
"Yeah." I said. Without being asked to, Nate got up,and left.
"Aria, I know, I kept something huge from you, but I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I was so scared. And I thought you might leave me, and I just couldn't live if I lost you again. And honestly I never thought you would find out. Not because I was trying to keep it from you, I just didn't want you to think me ending things with Camille was your fault." He said quickly.
I just nodded. I couldn't put words together at that particular moment. Draco had kept something from me deliberately.
"Did you love her?" I finally asked. I was scared to hear the answer.
"No." Draco replied without hesitation. "I've only ever loved you."
"But you were going to marry her?"
"No. My parents they set it up, but I would have never been able to go through with it. I knew it was you I wanted to marry."
He was making it awfully hard to be pissed at him. "When did you end it?" I asked.
"Last summer." He answered. "I thought that you and Weasley would be broken up and I'd have a chance to win you over. I didn't want to be engaged when I did that."
"You're making it hard to stay mad at you." I said.
"That's kind of the point." Draco smiled hopefully. "Please tell me you forgive me and that you love me."
I smiled. "I forgive you, and I love you." I said. "But you have to promise that you won't keep anymore things from me."
"I promise." He said quickly.
I had broken the promise I just made to Aria before I even made it. There was something I always had to keep from her. I couldn't tell her my parents were Death Eaters, and some time very soon I would also be one. I would never show her the Dark Mark soon to be branded on my left arm.
That would make me lose her faster than Weasley did after cheating on her. But I couldn't keep it a secret forever could I? Eventually she would find out. But I planned to delay it for as long as possible.
With all this thinking, I hadn't realized that Aria was kissing me. I hadn't noticed that I was laying on my back on her bed and she was on top of me. Aria only pulled away for a moment to lock her door with her wand.
I knew what was happening. Something that I had prevented from happening for a month. We were going to make love. And there was nothing more I wanted to do at the moment. I kissed her back deeply, touching her in a way hadn't in so long.
I brushed her hair aside and put my lips on her neck. As I nibbled her neck, my hands pushed her dress up before finally pulling it off her. Before kissing her again I looked into her eyes. They sparkled with desire and excitement. I'm sure my expression mirrored hers.
I kissed her again, closing my eyes, and just loving the feeling of her hands on me. Aria had tugged off most of my clothes before my eyes opened again.
Aria's eyes were closed, but I could tell she was enjoying this. I couldn't help but think about how much I love her. I almost lost her today. I would make sure that wouldn't happen again for as long as possible.
She forgives me. She actually forgives me. After spending this whole summer trying to convince Aria I'm really sorry, it finally paid off. All it took was for Draco to fuck up.
And now, Aria would most likely dump him, and soon she would be mine again. All I want is a second chance. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I left. I'm not even sure what possessed me to leave to be with Anya. I think it was the physical attaction.
Not that I'm not attacted to Aria, but there was something hot and wild about Anya that drew me in. I had been secretly communicating with her all last summer, and when she invited me to come stay with her, I couldn't say no. I didn't want any type of relationship with her other than a sexual one.
I couldn't lie to Aria's face. I'd either choke, or she'd see right through me. So I wrote her a letter saying I just needed a little space and that it wasn't her fault. Which was true, it wasn't. I made love to her one last time. I told her I'd miss her, and very early in the morning I left before anyone woke up.
Not a day went by that didn't miss Aria. I thought about her constantly, and a few times I had even slipped up, and called Anya 'Aria' instead.
At the end of the summer, I expected to see her and for her to come to Beauxbatons so we could pick up where we left off. It didn't take long for me to realize on the first night back that she wasn't there. I asked Adam where she was, he said back at Hogwarts. I didn't undestand, I wrote her so many letters, asking what happened, and why she didn't come back. I never got a response. Eventually, I stopped trying, and decided I'd have to wait until summer to see her again.
When Aria's parents contacted me, telling me I was welcome to come to their house again for summer. Of course I accepted. I was hoping I could smooth things over with Aria, and we could get back on track. It didn't work out that way, considering she had found Anya's letter.
The fact that she has a new boyfriend doesn't help either. Since then, I've been doing everything to prove I'm sorry and I made a mistake.
I hung around my room for about fifteen minutes after I had left Aria with Draco. I figured that would have been enough time for her to dump him. Hopefully by now he'd be crying.
I went over to Aria's door, which was locked and pressed my ear to the door and listened. I heard no crying, instead I heard moaning. It took me all of a few seconds to realize they were having sex.
They had made up, and he had won her over and now he was making love to my girl. That's it. No more going easy.
I was going to win Aria back if it's the last thing I do.
A/N: What did you think? :)