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The Apartment by JamesSiriusPotterII
Chapter 1: Moving In
“I think I’m going to cry,” I declared.
“Please don’t. Your face is as ugly enough as it is,” muttered Weasley.
“Oh, gees, thanks, Weasley. Aren’t you going to say anything Jamie?”
“What?” he grumbled, my voice apparently having woken him up from his sleep on his desk of messy papers.
Ladies and Gentleman, meet the rookies of the Auror Department of GB. The name’s Salter, Aphrodite Ignita Salter. Don’t wear it out. See, I’ve already got the attitude of a kick-ass Auror!
“I can’t live with my mother anymore! I love her to bits, but I just can’t stand her constant looking over me, and checking on me. I’m an adult for fuck’s sake- in the Wizarding and Muggle world!” I exclaimed, throwing my case papers in the air, which probably wasn’t that good a move in hindsight.
“Good for you,” replied Weasley. I glared at the lazy arse, and punched him in the gut. Probably didn’t do anything except from hurt my hand- stupid abs. “I’m in such pain,” he deadpanned, and I glared at him further. “You look like you’re constipated.” My eye twitched. Twat. I turned to my awesome best mate, Jamie.
“You do,” he added. What an awesome best mate to have.
The lot of us had graduated last year from Hogwarts, and were now happily working in the Auror Department. That would be only if you could call working full days and surviving on caffeine happily. James and I go back from since when we were in diapers. Our families were neighbours in the outskirts of London since before I was born. Harry Potter, saviour of the wizarding world was surprisingly modest, and him and his wife, Ginny Weasley, were two of the kindest, coolest people you could ever meet. They both were lovely, and immediately got along well with my parents. My dad, Marvel, died when I was two of heart cancer and they supported my mum, Aphrodite, so well that she recovered fairly quickly and nearly fully after her most loved one died. Since that the families had had a very close bond, almost like we were related. We went to Hogwarts, sorted into Gryffindor of course, and Fred Weasley II (son of George Weasley) apparently was James’ favourite cousin and in the same house, in the same year. Let’s just say him and I didn’t bond so well. We soon became the banes of each other’s lives, but decided we had to deal with each other as neither of us were willing to give up James’ friendship and James was not willing to leave either of us. Rox (Fred Weasley’s twin), Weasley and James were very close, and in the same year, so she became my best girl friend, even though she would hang out a lot more with other people than Weasley, James and I would. Us three were always seen together, whereas only occasionally with Rox.
However, just before graduation, Rox informed us that she was going to take a scholarship in America to go to New York to research in the Wizard-Muggle Healing Interaction Department, that was only in selective places across the globe. These departments work on using wizard spells to form Muggle products, that could be used to form cures for deadly diseases such as cancer, as wizarding spells had more chances of forming a cure. The reason it had been never done up to date was because no wizards ever suffer from cancer, but after Voldemort died, people began to put their prejudice aside, so we should help them as much as we can. I was so proud of her, especially considering my dad had died of cancer. James and Weasley had already organized a flat, and Rox and I had as well, but because she wasn’t living there anymore, I had no one paying the other half of the rent (I didn’t have any other close girl friends), so I had to move in with my mum again. Lots of people offered me money to pay for the rent, but I couldn’t take money like that from anybody, including my own mother- I wanted to get my own things independently when they were so big. Some other girls from my year said they wouldn’t mind sharing, but they had no more space.
So, I ended up staying with my mum and probably will until I get married. That’s a scary thought. I love my mum, but she’s very overprotective and overbearing, which I usually escaped when I left for Hogwarts. She will nurse me, cradle me, ask me every detail of the day, every aspect of my dating life, and says its because while I’m with her, she wants to take care of me and she promises that the day I left the house she would stop caring as much as she does about me because she knows I can take care of myself. I knew this would be true because as soon as my older brother, Aiden (a Healer), left the house, she hardly called him and near to never went round unless invited over. But, she still gave him heaps of love- just in a less annoying way. He’s now 20 and I would move in with him, but he lives with his fiance in a one room apartment with one private bathroom, a private kitchen and a shared common room. I can’t exactly sleep in the same room that my brother and Melissa are shagging in. Melissa is girlfriend of five years who he proposed to a few months ago. That’s another reason why I can’t borrow money- because my mum and brother scraped everything together to make the most amazing wedding possible which is taking place in a few weeks.
Just to let you get a little insight, I have brown, naturally straight hair, hazel eyes and am pretty tall- 5ft 8” probably. James is just an inch taller than me, with his father’s black, unruly mop and mother’s light brown eyes. He’s not particularly lanky, and has a fair amount of muscle. Weasley is the tallest out of us at 6ft 2” which he constantly brags about, and instead of this meaning he was lanky, he just decided to work out more so his proportions are pretty much perfect. Not enough to make him look like a giant, but instead making him look tall, yet built, so it worked out. Unfortunately, he got the envious skin tone that mixed-race kids tend to get, with his mum’s black hair, but dad’s style of straight, avoiding an afro. Though that would be pretty cool- afro kid! He had deep brown eyes that could bore into your soul. It was very unnerving at times.
“Why don’t you wait till after the wedding?” suggested James, groggily. I couldn’t blame him though- it was 5:00am and we had been doing a night shift since 10:00pm the night before. The boys had let me sleep for 4 hours, which is why I wasn’t dying, as in the day I had been caught up in wedding preparations while they had been snoozing. Yet another disadvantage of living with my mother.
“I can’t wait, it’s too far away!” I shrieked and Weasley cringed.
“I don’t need to hear banshees when I’m this tired. Shut up,” he groaned.
“But, I’m in a huge crisis,” I whined, sipping some tea, while Weasley slurped down some pure black Coffee and James drank an Espresso.
“I’ve got it!” yelled James.
“What?” I replied excited, drinking my tea at a scarily quick pace.
“You can move in with us!” he exclaimed, with a proud look on his face. I spat out my tea.
“FUCKING HELL SALTER!” screamed Weasley. Oh, it looked like some of my tea had burnt him. Oops.
Wait. Shit. Weasley’s face is burning. What if it goes into flames? It could start a fire!
“WHERE’S THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER?” I shrieked, running around the room like a mad person, babbling on to myself. “What if I am imprisoned for arson and murder of Weasley and James? I can’t live in prison! The food is shit- I CAN’T LIVE ON SHIT FOOD!”
“She’s finally gone insane,” muttered Weasley, dabbing his face with a wet towel.
“I thought you said she’s always been insane?” asked James.
“She has. It’s just after you offered her to move in with us and she burnt my face with tea mixed with her saliva, she’s lost that remote bit of sanity that was left in her.”
“Ah, I see.” James ran over towards me and put his hands on my shoulders to stop me from flailing my limbs like a mental case. “Fro?” he said, using the nickname he had made up for me when we were tiny tots and using a tone as if he was talking to a three year old. If we were working with mental ages he probably wouldn’t be far off. I nodded. “Do you want to move out of your mother’s house?” I nodded once more. “Do you want to move in with us?”
“I’m not sure. Don’t get me wrong, I love you to bits Jamie, but living with two guys, one of them being my worst enemy doesn’t sound like a good idea,” I reasoned. Yes, I know! I was being reasonable. I’m so proud of myself; I should get an award. Then I’d give one of those crappy speeches the crying celebrities always give.
“Oh, I am just so touched to be getting this award! I would like to thank my mum, for giving me the genetics to be reasonable one time in my life, then my Headmistress, Professor McGonagall for teaching me to be reasonable one time in my life and my best friend James for being with me at the moment in time I was reasonable in my life. Thank you so much, I love you all!”
I’m boss at writing speeches.
“Fro!” shouted James, pulling me out my reverie.
“All I’m saying is, it won’t be so bad! I mean, we have a spare bedroom and the only time we’re really in the apartment is at night. Plus, you come round loads already so it won’t be much different! You know your mum won’t mind, she trusts me with your life.”
“I love how you say she trusts you with my life, and not your own,” I muttered, scowling and he grinned.
“Aw, don’t get your knickers in a twist, love. You know she treasures your life more than her own,” replied James and I knew he was speaking the truth, so I smiled. He always knew the right thing to say.
“Or maybe she just would never trust her life with James like any sensible person, and cause yours didn’t matter, said your life.” And Weasley always knew the wrong thing to say.
“Fuck you,” was my oh-so-witty retort.
“I know your desperate, but we’re at work, honey.” I slammed the apartment catalogue shut.
“See, Jamie. How am I meant to live with that?”
“You deal with him at work!”
“And, how I treasure those few hours I get away from him.”
“So you’d rather stay with your mum until 25?”
“Then stay with us!”
“It’s not that- wait. What?” asked James. I breathed out heavily.
“Fine,” I repeated. “I’ll move in with you.”
“You will?” he replied gleefully, resembling a five year old who had just visited Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Wait; fuck that- resembling me after visiting Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.
“I will, I guess.” Then James began frightening me by doing some sort of tribal war dance on his desk. If anyone came in right now, I am sure they would be delighted that their country’s safety was going to be in his hands one day.
“Don’t I get any say in this?” groaned Weasley, looking as if he was hoping this was all a nightmare. He probably was.
Haha. In your face Weasley.
He was ignored anyway, because obviously I wouldn’t reply to his hideous face, and James was too busy chanting on the desk.
The door suddenly swung open to reveal the one and only Head Auror, Harry Potter, who looked a bit confused, worried and slightly amused by the sight of his son dancing and chanting war cries at the top of his lungs on his desk.
“Em, hi. Just came to check in on you. I think you’re doing fine…” he said, scanning the messed up papers, tea stains, depressed Weasley (who had gone to banging his head repeatedly on the desk) and James.
“Dad!” exclaimed James, jumping off the table. “Fro is moving in with Freddie and I!” he declared, doing a little jig and shooting his arms into the air.
“That’s great Aphrodite. Ginny and I will make sure your mum is kept entertained after you’ve left,” he promised, smiling at me. I gave him a wide smile in return, and stuck my tongue out at Weasley. “Anyways, you’re shift ends in an hour, but since I’m here early and with you moving into their apartment, why don’t you end now and James can take you both out to a nice breakfast somewhere in central London?”
“That sounds great Mr. Potter,” I replied, jubilantly.
“You’re off the clock, call me Harry,” he grinned, before leaving the room, no doubt to save some Wizarding World butt with Ron Weasley. Ron was just as BAMF as Harry was, with a great sense of humour, and as Deputy Head of the Auror Department.
“Shall we breakfast?” asked James, in a posh accent, extending a hand to me.
“We shall,” I replied in the same manner, taking his hand.
“That’s right, just forget about me, why don’t we. Who’s that Fred kid over there?” whined Weasley. In all my excitement about moving out from my mother’s house and eating, I decided to forego being annoying to Weasley.
“Come along, Mr. Weasley,” I declared, “We shall all dine together!”
“Oh, why thank you, Miss. Salter- it would be impolite to decline your tempting offer. Of course I shall come along!”
Then, we all linked arms and skipped down the halls of the Ministry so we could reach the fireplaces from which we could leave.
Us, too immature to be working in the Auror Department?
Pfft, as if.
“Food, glorious food! Sausage and mustard!”
“When we’re in the mood, cold jelly and custard!”
“Guys, shut up,” moaned James.
“Aw, but don’t you love our singing skills?” I whined.
“They’re supermegafoxyawesomehot man, just admit it,” declared Weasley.
“I know! He’s just jealous,” I explained.
“Of our amazing singing skills, right?”
“And our amazing good looks!”
“My amazing abs-“
“My stunning hair-“
“My muscular arms-“
“My gorgeous eyes-“
“Guys, you should seriously go fuck yourself if you think yourself to be that sexy,” deadpanned James. We were at the apartment after eating and bringing all my stuff down within 2 hours, thanks to our lovely friend, magic. Mum agreed immediately after we suggested the idea, which makes me think she’s quite happy to finally get rid of me.
“But I’m not gay,” replied Weasley, confused.
“Sure about that?” I asked.
“Very much. That’s why I’m going into withdrawal symptoms of not having snogged a girl in 2 weeks.”
“Sucks to be you.”
“Not that you’ve been getting anymore action.”
“How do you know?”
“Who would snog you?”
“Wait- you mean Puddlemere United’s newest chaser? Two years older than us?”
“The one with the amazing jawline, and sexy, windswept hair,” I grinned. One thing all three of us knew everything about, apart from being Aurors, was Quidditch.
“He snogged you? He didn’t try anything, did he? I don’t trust those Quidditch players…” grumbled James.
“Oh, stop being so overprotective. You’re not actually my brother, so that right still goes to Aiden.”
“I’m close enough!”
“Are you telling me he actually snogged you?” muttered Fred, incredulously. I scowled.
“Yes. He did.”
“You didn’t give him a love potion or anything?”
“No! He asked me out when I was on that task of making sure the team’s areas were safe before the Tornadoes vs. Puddlemere game,” I grinned smugly.
“Wait- you are going out with Josh Wood, and never even mentioned it to us?” asked Fred, his mouth wide open.
“Why the hell did he ask you out?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe he liked the idea of going out with a single, sexy, good-looking, funny Auror!”
“He must be gay. No girl fits that description.”
“Hello? One right here!”
“You? Sexy? Good looking? Please, are you kidding me?”
“Then why did snog me?”
“He’s fucking mental, that’s why.”
“So anybody who snogs me is mental now?”
“Pretty much,” he replied, smugly. I just wanted to punch him in the face.
“Fine! If anybody who snogs me is mental then you’re mental!”
“In seventh year, after we got trashed on the Halloween Party-“
“Don’t say anymore,” growled Weasley. “We promised we weren’t going to talk about that night. I bet you’ve told everyone!”
“I most definitely haven’t- it would be shameful,” I cringed, disgusted. “Have you told anyone?”
“Of course not. But, now you’ve gone and said it in front of James, so he’s going to want to know what happened!”
“Shit.” James was either going to skin Fred alive, or die of heart attack due to shock.
“So what happened the night on our last Halloween Party? I knew something was up. I thought you were killing each other! Did you actually mentally damage each other? I knew there was a reason you avoided each other after that night for a while! I’m surprised you didn’t send each other to St. Mungos,” babbled James.
“Jamie, shut your gob,” I ordered, and he shut up.
“Who even says ‘gob’ anymore?” asked Weasley.
“I do! Now back on topic. That night you know how we were really drunk,” I began slowly.
“As in completely wasted,” confirmed Weasley, and I shot a glare at him.
“Stop interrupting,” I hissed. “Well, we kind of… We went and… Look, there’s no easy way to say this-“
“We shagged,” blurted out Weasley. I shot a scathing look at him. “What? You were taking ages!”
“James? Jamie?” I muttered, tentatively. Then, he fell back off his chair. His eyes were closed, and he looked pretty unresponsive.
Merlin’s pants. I just killed my best friend. I’m such a bad person!
“I can’t believe I just killed James! Oh, fucking hell. There goes me being an Auror, now I’m going to be sent to Azkaban for murdering my only friend! I should’ve never told him. God, Aphrodite, why are you so stupid?” I mumbled on to myself, pacing round the room. Then I heard a deep laugh from beside me. “What are you laughing about Weasley? This is no laughing matter!”
“Stop shitting yourself, Salt shaker,” he replied. Stupid nickname- he got it from my last name Salter, and was so proud of himself, he mainly just calls me by that. “He’s only fainted.”
What? Sure enough, I could see his chest moving slowly up and down, to signify he was still breathing. I let out a relieved sigh, and wiped my forehead, while Weasley still stared at me as if examining me with an amused expression on his face.
“Stop looking at me like that, you perve,” I grumbled, turning to face James, and decide the best way to get him back into real life.
Suddenly, Weasley got a devlish smirk on his face. He pulled off his shoe, and looked at James to make sure he was still unconscious before slowly pulling off his sock.
I quickly covered my nose and looked at him in awe.
He wouldn’t. It was inhuman. Unheard of. Crueler than Voldemort. Crueler than James’ Aunt Mureal! Wasn’t that saying something.
Gradually, cm by cm, Weasley lifted up the sock closer and closer to James’ nose- you could practically see the stench coming off it.
Did James really deserve this? Was it really necessary? Yet I couldn’t help but be tempted by what James’ reaction would be. One thing I knew about my friend was that he was a tad overdramatic.
Before putting it right up his nose, Weasley directed his gaze at me, asking for approval.
Would this be right? Would the guilt haunt me forever?
However, I gave the nod. The nod that would seal fate forever.
Immediately, James sat up straight, with his eyes wide open.
“AGHH! YOU VILLANOUS BASTARD! My nose shall never be the same now that that vile stench has inhabited it! Why must you be so cruel? WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU TO DESERVE THIS FATE? You have disappointed me so much, grasshopper!” he declared dramatically. Told you he was a tad overdramatic. Just a tad. Meanwhile, Weasley laughed hysterically along with me. “Wait, I remember why I fainted now.” Then, we fell silent. He scrutinized us, and narrowed his when he reached Weasley. “You, honestly, fucked Fro?” He nodded, shamefully, looking down at his spectacularly interesting fingers.
“Like she said, we were trashed. Plus, I thought she looked damn hot.” Then he realised what he was saying. “Again, that was the alcohol messing with my mind.”
“You actually let him fuck you Fro?” asked James, disbelievingly. Now it was my turn to be ashamed.
“I told you I’m not good with alcohol,” I muttered quietly under my breath.
“I thought you were all pure! I didn’t know you went shagging around-“
“Mate, you know that’s not true. Stop before you say something you regret,” advised Weasley, and for once I agreed with him. I knew James didn’t mean that, but if he said anymore it would hurt.
“I’m sorry, it’s just you don’t know how much I want to punch you in the face right now,” replied James.
“It’s okay, bro. Hit me with it.” So, James punched Weasley in the face.
Then they broke out into laughter, and began man-hugging each other.
I’ll never understand boys. I have to live with two of the weirdest alive now.
A/N: What did you think of the new story then guys? Not too bad? I really wanted to do a Mature Next Gen:')