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Like a House on Fire by 800 words of heaven

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Format: Novel
Chapters: 39
Word Count: 112,755
Status: COMPLETED

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild violence, Scenes of a mild sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genres: Fluff, Humor, Romance
Characters: Lupin, James, Lily, Sirius, Regulus, OC
Pairings: Sirius/OC, James/Lily, Remus/OC

First Published: 09/07/2011
Last Chapter: 12/20/2014
Last Updated: 12/20/2014

Summary:



"Conflicted interests" is one way that you could describe Sirius Black and Millie White's relationship. At best, there's one-sided small talk. At worst, there's all-out war. But when Sirius manages to convince Millie into one of his more hare-brained dastardly schemes, the coming clash will ensure that seventh year at Hogwarts won't be what either of them expected.

Thanks to -BookDinosaur- for help with the summary | Banner by Hobbit' @tda


Chapter 13: Perfect for each Other
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It’s now been eight days since James and Lily’s sort-of-but-not-really argument. Lily still isn’t talking to him and James looks like he wants to commit suicide. Sirius and I were sitting in Potions at the back of the class, watching our best mates awkwardly working in silence together. And it was bad. “How the bloody hell does she manage it?” Sirius asked.

“Manages what? Completely ignore him yet still work with him?” I asked back.

“Yeah.”

“Not a clue.”

We went back to watching our friends.

“He looks like he’s about to cry,” I commented.

“Yeah.” I gave Sirius a sideways look. You know, he looks kind of adorable when he’s all concerned… wait, no. He does NOT look kind of adorable in any shape or form. “This is even worse than when she just hated him,” he said. “At least she still acknowledged his presence. But now, she’s just…”

“Ignoring him,” I finished.

“Yeah.”

We sat there and watched our friends in some more silence.

“What we need to do, is make Lily realise just how much she needs Prongs,” Sirius said slowly.

“Yes, we established that the other night,” I reply, rolling my eyes. I thought Marauders were supposed to be good at thinking up stuff like this.

“I know, but I mean, make her really realise.”

“We are not going to fake James’ death!”

He looked at me in surprise. “I didn’t even think of that, but you know, that’s not such a bad idea.”

“Do you really want to fake your best friend’s death?”

He seemed to consider it. “I guess not; wouldn’t seem, er, prudent in current times.” Among other things.

“And also, we don’t want to give Lily a heart attack.”

“Yeah, that too,” he mused. “So what do we do?”

“I don’t know.”

We went back to watching James and Lily.

“Um, Millie…” Sirius began.

“What?” I asked, still a little preoccupied with the whole ‘how to make Lily realise that she’s in love with James’ thing.

“Aren’t we supposed to be doing something?”

“Like what?”

“Like, I don’t know, stirring the potion or adding stuff to it, or something?”

“Huh?” I looked around to notice that our cauldron was merrily bubbling away, turning a hideous shade of poo. “Nah. Give it another minute or two,” I said, then went back to my musings.

 

“I’ve got it!” Sirius suddenly cried.

“No, you haven’t,” I replied calmly. “You’re still not getting the answer right.” We were in a secluded corner of the library, with a muffling charm around our table, so the scary librarian wouldn’t kick us out if we made ‘too much noise’. And as Sirius was prone to swearing colourfully and loudly whenever he got an equation wrong (which was quite often), there was actually a very high chance that we would have been banned for life by now.

“No, not the stupid equation!” I scowled at him. It wasn’t the equation’s fault that he couldn’t solve it, it was his! “I’ve got an idea to get Lily and James together again!”

“Okay…” not surprisingly, I was a little apprehensive about any of Sirius’ bright ideas, considering how I’m still entangled in his last hare-brained scheme.

“You know how you said that we can’t fake Prongs’ death before?”

“And that sentiment still hasn’t changed.”

“I know, I know!” he waved his hand impatiently. “But, we can fake him becoming grievously injured, can’t we?”

I looked at him in complete shock for a moment. His pale eyes were dancing with mischief (more so than usual) and his whole face had lit up as a result of his little epiphany.

“That…” I began. His face began falling. “…Might just work,” I finished, and he went back to his original hyper-enthusiasm.

“Great!”

“Yeah… so how were you planning to do this?”

His face fell again. “I hadn’t got that far.”

 

“I have an idea,” I said suddenly. We’d relocated to the Common Room after being kicked out of the library.

“That you can sit the Arithmancy exam for me?” Sirius asked hopefully. The poor bloke was still battling with his Arithmancy homework.

I shot him a look. “You’ll do fine. Anyways, my idea was about James and faking his sickness.”

“I thought we were going to fake-grievously injure him?”

I shook my head. “This is much better. We can give him a fake-terminal illness.” I realised just how strange this conversation must sound to outsiders. It sounded like we were planning some sort of sadistic plot to kill our best friends and that we should be locked up in Azkaban for it.

Sirius looked at me thoughtfully. “Go on,” he said.

“Well, there’s this potion, you see, and it does a damn good job of mimicking the effects of a generic sort of illness that’s going to kill you eventually.”

He nodded that he was following. Encouraged, I went on, “So, we could give this to James and he’ll come down with this terrible illness that threatens his very survival, which will make Lily realise just how hopelessly in love she is and that she can’t live without him, and then they’ll declare their love for each other and then I’ll just quietly slip him the antidote and then they’ll get married and live happily ever after and have a large brood of children who’ll go around crying ‘Uncle Sirius, it’s my turn for a piggy-back ride!’”

Sirius looked at me in silent surprise for a moment. Then he said, “I think I like the sound of Uncle Sirius. We just might be able to pull this off.”

I flashed him a grin and returned to my Charms essay. As I was writing about the adverse effects of Laughing Charms, I tried to valiantly push out any doubts about this very badly thought-out plan, because honestly, it was the best we had. Damn. It should be easier to make two people realise that they were perfect for each other than this.





AN: I know, I know. It was pretty light on Sirius and Millie cuteness, but I thought it would be interesting to see how they'd work together on a problem, putting aside their differences for the time being. But you know, if you didn't like it/loved it/hated it/feel very confused as to your feelings towards it, drop a review anyways! I thrive off feedback!


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