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Chapter 5: Spilling
After seeing my parents on the other side of platform 9 and ¾ and sitting in the most awkward car ride of my life, I basically ran to my room and let Lionel out of his cage.
I sat down on my bed and pulled the scan photo out of my pocket. When I showed it to Al, he just shrugged and said, “Cute.”
I looked at it in wonder. That peanut thing was currently growing inside of me right now. After a long stare at it, Mum called me down for dinner. I shoved the photo under my mattress and left my room.
When I went downstairs both Mum and Dad weren’t talking to me or each other. But this was a normal occurrence so I ignored the both of them and ate – drunk? – my soup in peace. I’d decided to tell my parents about the pregnancy tomorrow. I needed to tell them before they went and had a fantabulous holiday.
Note my sarcasm.
After I finished the soup and put the bowl in the dishwasher, I went back upstairs to my room and started listening to the wireless radio Rose gave me last year as a present. It kept me updated with the Wizarding world and had pretty good songs on some stations.
I was bopping my head to the music and serenading silently to Lionel.
Don’t judge. My singing skills were never that great.
After a few choruses of Red Cap Wears a Blue Cap by the Erklings, there was a soft knock at my door. I flicked my wand at the radio to turn it off and another flick towards the door.
I wasn’t lazy. Not at all.
Dad walked in and then sat on the edge of my bed. When I was little, I was always closer with my dad than with my mum and I guess I still was, but we hardly talked so it didn’t really count as close.
He sighed and said, “You’ve finished school now… I can’t believe how fast this has all gone. I still remember when you were trying to convince me you didn’t set that ugly plant on fire.”
I smiled at the memory. When I was little and didn’t know I was a witch, Mum had this cactus and I would always run into it. Always. And after this one particular painful fall, I was so annoyed, the whole thing burst into flames.
To say I was happy was an understatement.
Dad patted my knee awkwardly and got up to leave. He said, “You know, you’re always going to be my little girl, right?”
I looked up at him but he had already walked out of my bright orange room.
That was weird to say in the least.
I walked downstairs and saw Mum making breakfast. Dad was sitting at the table reading a newspaper (pfft… newspapers, were they even useful anymore?) and smiled at me when he saw me.
Oh wait, wasn’t that what normal parents did?
“Um… Mum, Dad?” This felt so weird… I was actually conversing with my parents! “I need to talk to you about something important.”
Mum looked at me shrewdly and I said nervously, “You might want to sit down Mum.” I licked my lips a little, feeling my mouth starting to dry up. I wanted to heave but I took a few deep breaths, ignoring the queasiness inside of me.
She obliged and Dad put his newspaper down to look at me expectantly.
Okay. You could do this. If a seventeen year old boy saved the Wizarding world, you could tell your parents that you were pregnant.
Although, he didn’t have to face my mother. I would rather take Voldemort any day.
“Larissa. Will you get on with it? I have to be at a brunch soon and I don’t want to be late.” That was my mother for you. Trying to brush her daughter off so she could eat brunch. Not even a lunch, but a brunch.
I resisted the urge to yell at her but satisfied myself with an image of me slapping her.
I wasn’t a violent person, I swear.
I took a deep breath and said quietly, “Erm… I’m pregnant…”
Dad’s mouth dropped open and Mum looked like a statue.
There was so much silence. Mum and Dad didn’t say anything. I didn’t know if the could say anything. I kept quiet and set my gaze on the floor until I think it had been twenty minutes. I glanced at the clock to see that no, it had only been two minutes.
That had been the longest two minutes of my life.
“What?!” That was Dad’s voice finally recovering from the shock.
I looked up my dad, the man so similar to me in looks, and tried to hold my tears in. When I locked eyes with him, they overflowed and I wiped them off, sniffling. “I’m pregnant,” I repeated pathetically.
I’d never seen my father so disappointed in me. Not even when I got my Hogwarts letter. He had been a tiny bit proud of me then, but now? All I could feel was the disappointment radiating off him.
When Mum saw me crying, instead of being a normal mother and comforting me, she looked at me spitefully and spat, “Don’t cry Larissa. Tell me what you did.”
She thought I was a slag. I could hear it in the tone of her voice. She was judging me. Just like she did to everyone else. I thought that her daughter would be the line.
I looked to Dad, hoping he’d make Mum a bit calmer but he looked so disappointed I wasn’t sure he even saw Mum raising herself up from the table and placing her palms flat against it to scrutinise me.
Mum then whispered, “What happened to my little girl, Larry? What have you done with her?”
I wanted to snarl. How dare she say that! How dare she ask me about what happened to me.
I replied scathingly, “For your information, mother. The little girl you raised? Yeah? You killed her when you didn’t celebrate when she got her Hogwarts letter. You killed her when you made Blake go out and buy her supplies. You killed her when you didn’t show her the love that she craved. You squashed her out of me. I’ve now become a better person because I was basically raised at the Weasleys! And how dare you call me Larry. Only Blake calls me that. You know why? Because he loves me! And you called me that when you used to love me. But then you found out I was a witch and suddenly, poof! You never called me that again! What does that imply Mum? Huh?! IT IMPLIES THAT YOU DIDN’T LOVE ME! YOU NEVER SHOWED ME ANY LOVE AND IT ALWAYS MADE ME SO UPSET!
“Did you know I would cry myself to sleep and Blake would come in and comfort me?! No. You didn’t. You never paid me any attention. I bet you didn’t know that every year on my birthday, I wished for my parents to love me. It never came true. I even tried praying that you’d love me! Do you know what that’s like?! NO! Of course you don’t! You were loved by Granny and Pop so much it hurt to look at when we visited. You know why? Because Granny and Pop showed you the love I never got. You spoilt Blake and loved him and shunted me to the side as soon as you found out I was a witch. Even when Blake became a Buddhist, you still treated me like shit and him like the bloody god of the universe! So don’t you dare ask me what the fuck happened! You happened! You ruined my life!” I knew I was being dramatic but this had to be the last straw. I couldn’t take it anymore. They’d been so cruel to me all my life and right now, I could not deal with this type of rubbish.
Dad went to open his mouth but I cut him off,
“No Dad! Don’t you dare interrupt me! You two haven’t listened to me in nearly seven years! You hardly talk to me and yet you expect me to respect you. You’re going to have to listen to me for once! Yes Dad, occasionally you would show me bursts of love, but they lasted for about a second. When I was younger I got my hopes up thinking my parents loved me again but then you went and treated me like I was dirt again! You know who I had to confide in when Blake left? Lionel. My cat. I had to tell all my secrets to a fucking cat! You don’t know how that feels! It makes you feel worthless. Useless. At one point, I wanted to end my life. I even tried to! That’s how miserable you made me feel. Especially you Mum! You were the worst parent in the universe! I hope I’m nowhere near as bad as you because what I went through? I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I hate that Blake was the parental figure in my life. I hate that I spent all my holidays with the Weasleys and not my actual family. You made me hate you Mum.”
I wiped my tears away from my face and asked, “Happy? You made your only daughter hate you!”
Mum said in a low voice, “You’re not my daughter. My daughter wouldn’t get herself in this situation. The slut you’ve become? She’s a complete stranger to me.”
Fuck. That hurt.
I went to open my mouth to retort angrily but Mum cut me off, “Larissa. A smart girl would have taken care of this the minute she knew. But no. You let get it to a bigger problem than it had to be.”
I knew what she was getting at. Abortion? That hadn’t even crossed my mind. Just the thought of doing that was awful and I wanted to slap my mother across her face.
“You think an abortion will smooth this all over? No! It won’t! That’s murder. I can’t believe you would even suggest that. You’re a fucking idiot, Mum. You know that don’t you? And you want to know why I’m a stranger to you? BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T TALK TO ME OR LOOK AT ME FOR SEVEN YEARS! YOU IGNORED MY PRESENCE AND WHENEVER YOU INTRODUCED PEOPLE TO YOUR FAMILY, YOU WOULD LEAVE ME OUT AND I HAD TO INTRODUCE MYSELF! IF YOU HAVEN’T TALKED TO A PERSON IN SEVEN YEARS! OF COURSE THEY’RE GOING TO BE A COMPLETE FUCKING STRANGER!” I was so furious with my parents now. I knew they’d react badly but this? I didn’t expect this at all.
I glared filthily at Mum and she growled, “Get out of my house, Larissa.”
I gasped. I couldn’t believe she was actually throwing me out. I mean, yes I would throw someone out of my house if they said what I said to them, but her daughter? I thought parents had to look out for their children.
I looked at my dad pleadingly but he didn’t acknowledge me. He resembled a dead body. He was pale, no emotion and his eyes were looking without seeing.
I stormed upstairs and with a sweeping motion of my wand, all my things packed into my trunk and I shoved Lionel in his cage, ignoring his outraged yelp. I went back downstairs with my levitating trunk in front of me. The door was opened and I looked back to see Mum and Dad waiting for me to leave their house.
I hated them so much! I couldn’t believe they would do this!
In the coldest tone I could muster, I said, “Goodbye. Don’t ever come near me again.”
I locked eyes with my dad once more, and he looked shattered. His green eyes, so similar to mine, were in the most pain I've ever seen in one man.
He looked at me pleadingly and whispered, “Don’t. You – We can—” His voice cracked and he looked like he was going to cry.
I couldn’t take it. I stormed out and slammed the door behind me.
Thanks for reading everyone! I know Reese overreacted but I felt as if she needed to let out all her feelings. But please review :D