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Chapter 4: Acceptance
I was sitting in the Hospital Wing waiting for Madame Pomfrey to return. Apparently there was a spell to tell if you were pregnant or not. I could have saved twelve sickles! (And honestly, I should be saving every last knut I had.) She confirmed it and even though I already knew this, I couldn’t help but be disappointed all over again. With a few spells, she worked out when I was due. Apparently in the middle of winter.
At least I’d have a lot of fat to keep me warm then!
Anyway, she gave me an ultrasound and was now getting the picture. I didn’t really want it but she insisted.
Stupid Al. He convinced me to go to the Hospital Wing but he didn’t come with me. He said he would feel uncomfortable. So I was sitting here like the sad little loner I was. She didn’t ask me who the father was but I could tell she was trying to work it out.
Was that really any of her business though? She was far too nosy for her own good.
She should retire! According to Al and Rose, she was there when their parents were at school. Whenever James, Al, Rose, Lily or Hugo came in, she always muttered, “Exactly like their parents”. Although, all of them frequented the Hospital Wing quite often. And mostly because of Quidditch. So she was probably just sick of them.
Madame Pomfrey then returned holding a picture. She held it out to me and I tentatively took it. It was in black and white and sort of looked like an overlarge peanut. It moved slightly but she said I wouldn’t feel it just yet. Although she said when I was further along, I could get a scan with the kid kicking or even sucking its thumb.
Which was pretty cool but weird at the same time.
I looked at it with so much curiosity. The overlarge peanut I was looking at in this photo was currently growing inside of me. It sort of gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling which was something I didn’t really expect to have. I didn’t even know if I was going to keep it. Babies weren’t cheap. And I didn’t know if James even wanted it.
Hell, I didn’t know if I even want it.
I thanked the matron and left with the scan photo and pamphlets she gave me. She was quite calm about it. She promised me that she would keep the whole thing a secret. Thank goodness. She asked if I wanted to keep the kid or give it up for adoption and I told her I had no idea so she gave me two pamphlets to help decide. Being Pregnant: What is it all about? and Choosing between your Choices.
Obviously the first one was all about the actual pregnancy and things to steer clear of and the second one described what the rest of your life was going to be like. Apparently I was meant to stay away from cats!
I refused to stay away from my Lionel! Apparently they could come in contact with strays and that could give me and my foetus diseases. My Lionel was a good little boy. He wouldn’t do that. He loved his Mummy too much. I smiled slightly to myself and then I realised: I was going to be an actual Mummy.
This was actually happening to me.
I was actually pregnant. Even though I’d known it for a while, I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. I sat on my bed and drew the curtains around it for some privacy. Lionel was curled up on my pillow so I picked him up and cuddled him. He purred and fell back asleep on me. I laid myself down and Lionel moved to sit next to me. I started to cry silently, letting the tears run free while patting Lionel and he started to lick my hand. That was his way of saying everything will be alright. I fell asleep trying to ignore the fact that tomorrow was graduation and all of the Potter family would be there.
“Hey Rose, can I borrow some mascara?” I asked.
“Sure, but only if you do my hair,” she replied, chucking me the thin purple tube.
I nodded and quickly applied some mascara onto my lashes. Rose sat down on a stool and I started on her untameable hair. I grabbed some Sleekeazy’s Hair Potion and started applying it to her hair. After I finished I performed a straightening spell, you know just for that extra oomph. Rose could do her hair quite well but apparently I did it much better.
But I didn’t mind. I loved doing Rose’s hair. It was always really soft and it was a beautiful red. She always complained about having this bright red hair but I absolutely loved it; it was just so, err… red?
So after Rose’s hair was in an elegant side bun, we both got into our dresses. No one wore dress robes anymore.
Rose had this really pretty gold dress on. It was strapless and was gathered around the waist and fit her body beautifully. I wanted to cry looking at her. Rose was quite pretty normally but tonight, she looked stunning.
Then Roxy strolled out from the bathroom and I felt like a troll in comparison. Roxy was wearing an off the shoulder lilac dress that complimented her caramel skin so perfectly. Her ebony hair was curled slightly and hung down near her waist. Roxy was absolutely gorgeous but she always down-played it. With her caramel skin and big brown eyes it was no wonder why boys always tried to go out with her. Her body was perfectly toned from being a chaser on the team and she was quite tall, but not tall enough to tower over the boys. Roxy never wore makeup and seeing her with makeup was an absolute transformation. So many guys stared at Roxy when she was in her trackies, so seeing her in a dress that stopped about mid-thigh… Let’s put it this way: Fred was probably going to have to beat a lot of people up.
She gasped and looked at me; did I really look that horrible?
“Do I really look that horrible?” Yes, I tended to repeat what I thought.
“No, you look amazing Reese! Look at yourself in the mirror.” I rolled my eyes and turned to Rose’s mirror.
I looked in the mirror and my jaw dropped. For a pregnant seventeen year old girl, I looked pretty good. My curly hair was in the pretty braid I put it in and I had slightly curled bangs around my face. And my eyes. Now, my eyes were really the only thing I liked about me. They were this dark green that both Dad and Blake had. But now, they were glittering just from my eye makeup.
My dress was black and one-shouldered. My dress reached to the middle of my thighs, similar to Rose’s and Roxy’s. I accessorised it with red heels and a red clutch. I loved being short sometimes (except for my damn Hobbit legs). Being 5’2 meant I could wear heels of any height, unlike Rose. Rose inherited her father’s height, as did Hugo, so whenever she wore heels she was super tall. Although, luckily Scorpius was also very tall. But he wasn’t as tall as Al or James. Scorp was about 6 foot whereas Al and James were about 6’3. Rose was about 5’8 so in heels she always ended up being just a bit taller than Scorpius.
I turned back around and looked at Roxy. She was grinning from ear-to-ear and in that moment, she looked shockingly similar to her father. I told her, “Rox! You look amazing!”
She shrugged Rose came around to hug and tell her, “Roxy, Fred might have an aneurism when he sees all the guys that will be staring at you.”
Roxy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. We going down?”
When we walked down to the Great Hall, I saw Al talking to his family and I quickly looked away before I saw James. Instead, I looked for my own brother. My parents didn’t want to come so Blake came instead. I saw a hand waving and shouting, “Larry over here!”
It took all my strength not to chuck my heels off and sprint to him. I walked as quickly as I could and gave him a bone crushing hug. I normally came right under his chin but being in heels I came up just above his nose. Poor Blake was also not very tall. He hugged me back and did a quick study of me.
He said, “You don't look so great, Larry… You okay?”
“Yeah, I think it was just the stress of exams, don’t worry,” I lied.
He stared at me suspiciously for a bit but then grinned. “We have a date for the wedding!”
I grinned back at him. “When?!”
“23rd of November. Don’t ask me why but she wanted a cold wedding. Anyways, Zoe wanted you to be a bridesmaid!” My heart sank. 23rd of November… I would be seven months pregnant. I loved Zoe and would love to be her bridesmaid but I’d be super fat by then.
Blake must have seen my disheartened look and replied confusedly, “What’s wrong? Don’t you want to be bridesmaid? I can tell Zoe but I really want you to be there, Larry.”
I had to tell him. But definitely not today. Maybe when I got back home. I’m going to stay with my parents for about three days and then I was going to James’. I would stay with Blake and Zoe but the last time I did that, I had to endure listening to them going at it when I was trying to sleep.
So I’d never do that again. As much as I loved my brother, listening to him have sex with another person was extremely disturbing. And they were leaving for Sri Lanka to visit Zoe’s parents the day before I go to James’ anyway.
“Of course I’ll be a bridesmaid Blake! It’s just a bit of a surprise!” I lied again.
Blake looked at me again and I knew he could tell I was lying. But before he could say anything, Al popped up and said, “Oi Reese, we have to get to our seats so the presentation can start.” He looked at my brother and shook his hand. “Nice to see you again, mate but we really have to go. Sorry.”
I waved to Blake as I left and he smiled back at me. I walked a little behind Al and we sat next to Scorpius. Roxy sat on my other side and we waited for Flitwick to come up and give his speech. He finally showed up and started talking about how we were such a smart grade and he would miss us dearly and blah-blah-blah. Then Rose and Jason Finch-Fletchley came up to the podium and started to talk about our first day like the horrors of getting Sorted but I was zoning out and trying not to think of James and that he was only a few feet away from me.
Al whispered, “You alright?”
I nodded not trusting myself to speak in fear that I’d burst into tears. After a few more speeches all of the seventh years started to get up. I got up and we all threw our hats into the air. Roxy shouted, “WE’VE GRADUATED REESE! WE’VE FINISHED SCHOOL! WE’VE DONE IT!” She hugged me and I hugged her back, still feeling numb.
I saw Blake waiting for me over near the drinks so I turned to Roxy to tell her I was leaving but in her place was James. This was the first time I’d seen him since the morning after. James grinned at me and opened his arms for a hug. I automatically gave him a hug but I wish I didn’t. As soon as his arms wrapped around me I had a memory of that night. The way his naked chest felt against mine. And in that moment I was so angry there were clothes in the way I just wanted to rip them off.
Woah. Where did that come from?
I shook my head clear of all the dirty thoughts and James pulled back from the hug. “How’ve you been, Reese?”
Oh not so bad, just finding out I’m pregnant with your kid. You? would be a great way to answer that question, don’t you think?
Instead I replied, “Eh. I’m glad the exams are over though that’s a whole lotta stress gone.” I gave him a quick smile and James smiled warmly at me in return so much that I wanted to melt.
What was happening to me?
Oh, I know! Apparently because of the hormones, I may be a little more – erm how could I say it? – uhh… I might be a bit more affectionate, if you catch my drift. Someone called his name and James turned around to nod at said person. Probably one of the many cousins. James leant in and for a second I thought he was going to kiss me but he patted me on the arm and said, “I’ll see you round, Reese.”
I looked around to see Blake talking to a random parent looking uncomfortable, so I went up to him to see who this person was. I walked up to this pug-like woman and nearly gasped in horror. It was Pansy Parkinson. Her daughter, Estelle Parkinson, was the double of her. See, Pansy was married to Blaise Zabini (I know? Seriously, the guy was a god and he married that?) but they divorced when he found out she was sleeping with other men behind his back. Then after a few years, Estelle came to ruin the world.
“You are a very delicious boy, you know. You look a bit young to be a father though. Anti-ageing charms I’m guessing?” Merlin’s leopard print mankini. Parkinson’s mother was hitting on my brother.
Blake looked horrified so I stepped in and replied with a condescending tone, “That’s because he isn’t my father, he’s my brother.” She then took a drunken step back and looked at me up and down.
“Mum, who are you talking to?” the ever-so-nasally voice of Estelle Parkinson called out before Pansy could respond.
Pansy called back, “I don’t know darling, why don’t you introduce us?”
Please no. Estelle hated me. She had a bit of an obsession with James but because I was the one she always tormented, James wasn’t that fond of her. This made her insanely jealous and when she saw me talking to her pug of a mother, her expression immediately turned into a sneer.
“Oh. It’s you. Mum, it’s the Mudblood I wrote to you about.”
“Oh how sweet of you to write about me, Parkinson. I didn’t realise I was that important to you that you had to write a letter to your mother,” I said, ignoring that she called me a Mudblood. She’d done it before and – because of the amount of times she used it – it didn’t even sound like an insult anymore. But many others did take offence to it.
James came up behind me and I felt butterflies in my stomach.
It was the pregnancy, nothing more.
He said in a menacing tone that made me want to jump him, “Get away from her, Parkinson.” Al cracked his knuckles from behind him.
Before Estelle could respond, Pansy shrilled, “How dare you talk to my daughter like that you ungrateful little—”
We didn’t hear the rest of Pansy’s sentence because she’d been silenced and two guards took her out. She walked out with her head held as high as she could with two guards dragging her out.
Estelle turned her ugly face towards us. “You fucking mongrels. You got my mother kicked out on one of the most important nights of my life. Fuck you.”
“I thought getting a position as a stripper was one of your most important nights Parkinson. Not graduating school. My apologies,” I simpered. Although it was kind of ironinc because I was pregnant, but let’s just ignore that, hey?
She harrumphed and stalked out with her pug nose in the air. I turned around and saw James looking at me amusedly. Al was grinning at me. Blake on the other hand, looked fit to kill. “Who does she think she is talking to my baby sister like that?!” I then turned to him to try and calm him down. Eventually he did calm down but he wasn’t letting me get out of his sight.
I started dancing with James and as he twirled me he opened his mouth to say something. I quickly asked him about Quidditch, knowing what the question was going to be. He actually looked grateful that I’d spoken up. I really didn’t want to talk about that right now.
Yes. I know I’d have to talk about it sooner or later, but right now, I didn’t want to think about it.
Yes. I was ignoring the elephant in the room but I didn’t care.
Although, I still didn’t know if I’wa going to put it up for adoption because every time I looked at the scan photo and I imagine putting it up for adoption, a cold feeling swoops my stomach. It felt wrong. So many people wished they could have children and couldn’t, and I was willingly throwing one to the orphanage? It didn’t feel right. And James’ life was dominated by the media so if they found out I was pregnant with his kid; it was going to be very interesting. And if I did put it up for adoption, how would it affect him?
I had to talk to James about it. I couldn’t possibly make all these decisions by myself.
I couldn’t believe it. We were on the train going home.
Never going to return to Hogwarts. Never going to go to another class, never going to play tricks on old Filch (seriously, the guy was deaf, and couldn’t see anything further than a few feet, yet he still wouldn’t retire), never going to sit in the courtyard on a warm day and swim in the Black Lake, we were leaving forever.
I couldn’t get over it.
We were actually grown up.
(Well technically, I grew up as soon as I found out I was pregnant, but shh…)
I kept thinking in silence until I heard a familiar voice that I’d never hear again. I nearly burst into tears at the thought.
“Anything off the trolley dears?” Al, Scorp and I rushed to the trolley before anyone else and bought approximately half of it.
We let the rest of the compartment buy their things, but we always put it in a pile and shared everything anyway. It was roughly the size of a football. That was how much we ate. And we never seemed to have left overs.
“I reckon just because of our family she’s got a golden mansion.” We all laughed at Lucy’s comment but agreed.
Roxy said, “Yeah! I remember in first year James, Fred, Louis, Dom and that random guy – what’s his name? Louis’s friend that had an obsession with Dom?” She looked at us and we all stared blankly in return. “HOW CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER?! He wrote her poems?!” Everyone still had a blank expression on their faces. “And he kept calling her ‘Dommie’?!” More blank looks. “HOW COME NONE OF YOU REMEMBER?!” she shouted exasperatedly.
We all kept looking at her blankly until Al piped up, “Wasn’t it a girl who had an obsession with Dom? And she wasn't Louis’s friend, more of a stalker?”
“Oh, yeah!” Rose recalled. “Yeah! She kept following Dom and when she left, she followed Molly around.” We all nodded at the memory finally catching up with us.
Now I remembered! There was some girl who stalked the Weasleys. It was really weird. Poor Dom had to live with it since her second year. But then she left and the stalking girl was in her seventh year. I think she was lost without stalking someone but then she started on Molly. Lucy was happy to allow it continue because her and Molly never got on well. They were ten months apart and in the same school year. Although Molly was in Hufflepuff. And she thinks that she was better than everyone. She treated everyone like dirt and always had her nose in a book. Hufflepuff’s were nice? Yeah, and blast-ended skrewts were cute and cuddly.
Anyway, this stalker stalked Molly, but the Weasleys – being the loving and protective family they were – scared her off. I remembered that they enchanted dung-bombs to hurl themselves at her, and every time she would pass the Hufflepuff common room the floors would throw her in the opposite direction. It was quite amusing to watch.
We then started to talk about the weird people in Hogwarts, such as that Slytherin that only spoke in alliterations. He demanded to be called Sammy Salazar Sorrel.
We kept talking about the good times we had at Hogwarts and I realised how much my life would have been different if I was a Muggle. I would have never met Rose, Al, Scorp and Roxy. I wouldn’t have met any of the Weasleys. I wouldn’t have met James. I wouldn’t have made friends that I was going to keep (hopefully) forever.
I probably wouldn’t have been pregnant.
The one question that kept replaying in my mind was did I regret this or was I thankful for this pregnancy? I still didn’t know.
“Reese. Wake up. We need to get off the train.” Someone was gently shaking me. “Come on, get up.”
I opened my eyes and saw Al hovering over me. I slowly sat up and peered at him through bleary eyes. “I slept through the whole ride?”
Al snorted and said, “You didn't sleep, you snored.”
“Shut up! I was tired!” I got up to grab my bags but Al grabbed them for me instead.
“You shouldn’t be lifting heavy things Reese. It’s no good,” he said.
I rolled my eyes and tucked Lionel away in his cage. I left the compartment holding Lionel and leading Al out.
After we finally got off the train, Al threw my bag on a trolley and pushed it towards me. “God! What do you have in there?!” I put Lionel on top of my trunk and started to wheel it towards the Potters.
Without turning back, I said, “Well, if I’m going to be at a place for a year, I’m not going to pack three measly dresses am I?”
Al rolled his eyes and pushed his trolley to go see his family. Ginny immediately enveloped me in a hug and Al looked indignant that I was hugged first.
I smirked at him and Ginny said, “Reese darling, you look knackered. Have you been okay?” I nodded and smiled at her. She patted my cheek softly and turned to give her second son a hug.
James came over to me and hugged me. Again, I wanted to kiss him senseless. Why him?! Whenever I hugged Al or any other male I was fine.
Maybe because you’re in love with him and not with the others.
Shut up brain.
Thanks for reading!! Okay, so I'm an Aussie and I don't know how you British people measure height, I usually do it in centimetres but I remember reading HBP and Hermione says to Harry, "You've grown about a foot over the summer"- or something like that. So I did it in feet and inches. Please tell me if I'm wrong in a review (hint, hint ;D)
Also, Hobbits are not my creation but from J. R. R. Tolkien. :)