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Chapter 10: Loathing
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody. :(
Al, James, and Lily, beautiful CI done by !PINK @ TDA.
… But life goes on.
No matter what happens, no matter how we change, life just keeps living. We may be dying, but we can still be ourselves, live, let loose.
Play tag in the rain, just to feel like a child again.
The small moments in life matter the most. I would have never known that, if not for a friend who had taught me more about myself and life than I’ve ever known.
It’s so important to know that no matter what everything will get better in the end.
I smile slightly at the article in my hand. Play tag in the rain, just to feel like a child again. I laugh, remembering last night.
Of course, that happens to be when Lily decides to wander into the kitchen. She gives me an odd look and sits down across from me, asking, “What’s so funny?”
I chuckle slightly and slide the paper across the table to her. She glances at me and bends over to read it.
Her long, red, copper hair falls over her shoulders, spilling out on to the table. I watch her honey brown eyes scan the words as her lips twitch up in a slight smile, the whole thing making her look ever so beautiful.
Like an angel.
I sigh as I watch her. She’s my sister. I could never hate her.
But she hates me.
After she finishes the article, Lily glances up at me and smiles, her brown eyes dancing. “I assume you enjoyed the part about playing tag in the rain.”
I nod with a grin and Lily laughs softly, a sound like tinkling bells that reminds me so much of Mum.
She opens her mouth as if she’s about to say something, when James enters the kitchen, a remorseful look on his face.
Lily rolls her eyes at him. “What’s with you?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.
James sits down next to us, his shoulders drooping, his quiet demeanor managing to scare both of us more than anything else.
“James?” Lily questions, sounding concerned now. I reach out hesitantly and touch his shoulder, a silent question passing through the air.
He glances up at us and finally mutters, “Zara broke up with me.”
“Oh,” Lily gasps. “James, I’m so sorry…”
James shrugs slightly, not looking up from his hands. I bite my lip, and then softly tell him, “Everything will be okay, James.” He glances up at me and I whisper, “Don’t worry. It'll work out in the end.”
He nods slowly, his eyes training on the table. After a moment, he breathes in a deep sigh.
With a slight sniffle he mutters, “Sorry.”
Lily smirks and, shaking her head in exasperation, rolls her eyes at him, brushing a strand of scarlet hair out of her face. “James, it’s not a problem. There’s nothing wrong with crying every once and a while.”
I nudge his shoulder and with a grin tell him, “Besides, maybe she just wasn’t right for you. You’ll find somebody someday who lights up your life.” I smile slightly. “Then you’ll know.”
James watches me for a moment with careful hazel eyes, and then he manages a slight smile.
And he takes me completely by surprise.
He leans over and hugs me, causing Lily’s jaw to drop, utter astonishment crossing her face. I freeze for a second but then hug him back hesitantly, completely confused. Since when has James acted like this?
“I’m sorry,” he whispers in my ear, causing me to freeze. He pulls back and continues, “I know that doesn’t even begin to make up for how I’ve acted to you… But… You’re my brother.” Another soft smile crosses his face, lighting up his hazel eyes, making a memory of when we were smaller and had always scaled the tree in the backyard flash through my mind. Then he nudges my shoulder. “I love you, Al.”
I clear my throat, trying to decide whether I should laugh or cry. This is almost like a surreal dream. I pinch myself slightly and then wince. Nope, not a dream. “I love you too, James. Don’t worry about it.”
Lily claps slightly, her face lighting up. “You two are so cute!” she cries with a few aw-s in between.
James and I both turn to glare at her. I feel my nose wrinkle and James pretends to gag, staring at her like she belongs in an insane asylum. James perfected that look two years ago. It makes me chuckle every time I see it.
Lily giggles at us. “See, you two really are so much alike,” she informs us with another laugh. “Don’t ignore each other any longer.”
James rolls his eyes at her, shaking his dark hair out of his face, his hazel eyes dancing in the light that comes in through the window, snorting slightly he mutters, “Yeah, like you were any better, Lils.”
She glares, looking slightly miffed.
I roll my eyes. “You guys won’t talk to me for years and now you’re arguing over me? Seriously?”
Lily and James both look at me sheepishly, and Mum wanders into the room, a smile on her face.
For a moment I pause just to think about what’s going on.
It feels like it did years ago, before I went to Hogwarts. Except that Dad isn’t here like he always was.
Suddenly, that ache fills my chest again, almost like a physical pain. I take a slight shuddering breath, hoping that nobody notices the tears pricking at my eyes. I swallow slightly and shake my head, clearing it of the thoughts of Dad.
I miss him. So bad.
There is a knock on the door, and Mum calls out, “Come in, Scorpius!”
I laugh slightly, a grin on my face. James and Lily look at Mum in confusion, but the looks change to surprise when Scorpius enters the kitchen. He smiles at me and sits in the chair next to me, his head tilted slightly, his eyes flickering over the pictures hung all over the place, and I hide a grin as his eyes land on a picture of Rose and he just stares at it for a few minutes.
I feel a slight smirk slip across my face and Scorpius scowls back at me when he catches it. James and Lily are glaring at Scorpius, which I know is influenced from Uncle Ron and his “Malfoy’s are worthless gits” lecture. Scorpius either doesn’t notice them or isn’t bothered in the least by their glares.
I shake my head and turn away from them, a slight sigh escaping my mouth. Only Scorpius hears me, and he gives me weird look.
I shrug and glance out the window, staring at the lilacs, lilies, and roses that are blooming in the garden. Everything looks so peaceful and quiet. The garden’s a sight that would make a beautiful picture, an image of how peaceful and perfect life can be. I turn back to the table my eyes landing on James and Lily.
James grins at me, and winks, his eyes glittering, and I have to smile back. It’s going to be okay.
We’re going to make it through this.
It’s later that night, as Scorpius and I sit in Dad’s study that I pull out the lists we had taken out of Dad’s office.
I grab a pen and read down the list of possible new leaders for a Death Eater formation.
“Gregory Goyle,” I say to Scorpius, glancing up.
He shakes his head. “He’s been in Azkaban for ten years, and when he got out he was in the St. Mungos mental ward for nearly ten more.”
“Marcus Flint,” I mutter.
“No. He’s still in Azkaban. He killed Colin Creevey.”
I let out a groan of frustration, crossing his name off the list and continue reading.
“No. He’s in Azkaban.”
“He died ten years ago.”
“He was killed by Voldemort and his followers in the Second Wizarding war,” Scorpius mutters thoughtfully.
I look at him in exasperation. “Is there anyone other than Zabini?”
Scorpius winces and his eyes meet mine. He swallows and then admits, “Just… Maybe…”
“What?” I ask hesitantly, watching him carefully.
He gulps and then whispers, “My Dad.”
A/N: We’re halfway done with the story. I think I might cry. *sniffle, sniffle* No, kidding, that’s a little pathetic. I’ll just cry when the story’s done. XD
So, anyhow, Lily and James are being nice! Yay! I don’t know why it happened, it just did. I suddenly didn’t have the heart to make them so mean anymore. And everyone else is starting to get over Harry. Sorry, Al.
A warning for chapter eleven: the Prisoner and Captor are back. And things get a little creepy. Actually, the whole second half of that chapter is just kind of creepy. I was listening to horror music and writing at the same time, so that’s the result. *laughs maniacally* … I just had to do that. Don’t ask.
So, chapter eleven preview:
That’s not the only thing that’s wrong.
Blaise contacted me yesterday. He says he’s talked to Gage. I’m worried now. I don’t trust Gage. And I don’t trust Blaise anymore. Not since he…
I don’t know. My family just seems to be falling apart. It always works this way. Everything is perfect, and then it crumbles to pieces and we barely survive.
Whatever’s going on… It’s not over yet. I feel so lost. And sick. Something awful is going to happen.
I just can’t shake the feeling.
Chapter eleven will be up as soon as possible, thank you all for reading! <3