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Chapter 7: Guilty
"Guilty doesn't even begin to describe how I feel." I said as I finish catching Ron up on what's going on between me and Draco.
Ron's mouth is hanging open slightly. "Wow, that's something." He said.
"Am I horrible boyfriend stealing slut?" I asked.
"Yes and no." He said slowly. "Yes, because, you are stealing one of your best friend's boyfriend. And no, because you're not doing it out of spite or jealousy. You genuinely love Malfoy."
The thing I liked about Ron was that he always told me exactly what he thought, he didn't hold back because of my feelings, he said what was on his mind. That's a good friend. Although, sometimes I could live without his honest opinion.
"I can't do this." I said. "I can't be with Draco, I can't steal him away from Pansy. I wouldn't be able to live with myself."
"Oh, come on, you've already come this far. And you're not fully stealing him away. It's his own decision whether he wants to break up with Parkinson or not."
"I know, but I'm encouraging him. It's wrong."
"Love is never wrong." Ron said.
"Now is not the time to sound all insightful. I have to tell Draco we can't do this. He'll understand." I said nodding, knowing that wasn't true.
Ron scoffed. "That's a lie. Malfoy is going to throw a fit when he hears this."
"You don't know!" I said even though he was right.
He raised his eyebrows at me. I groaned. "What am I gonna do?" I asked. "I mean, I love him. And I think he loves me too, but I can't hurt Pansy."
"Look, Jolina, I honestly think you should follow your heart on this. Sometimes, you have to be selfish in order to be happy. And if Pansy is really your friend, she'll understand in the long run. You deserve to be happy." He said.
I sighed, wanting to get off of the subject. "How are things with Granger?" I asked.
"Not nearly as great as things with you and Malfoy. But we do spend alot of time together. I just wish something would happen."
"Maybe you have to make something happen." I suggested. "Don't just sit around and wait. Do something."
"I can't risk our friendship like that. I'm not as dumb as Malfoy is. No offense." He added.
"Still offended." I said. "And sometimes, you have to take a risk to be happy. Love is a risk."
"Oh, look who's trying to be all insightful now." Ron said looking amused.
"Well, I have been known to be very wise." I said smiling.
Ron scoffed. "Yeah and I've been known to be the richest guy in the school."
"Haha, very funny." I said sarcastically.
"I actually have been known to be funny." He said.
I rolled my eyes.
This is wrong, this is wrong, this is so wrong. But, damn it feels so right. And I can't resist him. Draco presses against me and kisses me again. I respond by kissing him back, yet again, even though I told myself I would stop him, but I've wanted it for so long.
Draco's kisses have to be the hottest in the universe. I can barely breathe at the moment. I pull away, and Draco instead kisses my neck. I have to talk to him while my lips aren't preoccupied.
"Draco?" I say.
"Hmm?" He says, not stopping.
"Why haven't you broken up with Pansy?" I asked.
He stops. "Look, Jo, before you get all mad, I've been trying, but it's not the easiest thing in the world."
"If I can break up with a different guy every two weeks, you can break up with Pansy. What, do you want me to do it for you?" I said.
"Could you?" Draco asked hopefully.
"No, stupid,you do it!" I exclaimed.
"What's wrong with how things are now?" Draco asked. "I mean, come on, Jo, we have fun together don't we? And don't you enjoy all the hot times we have together?" He whispered seductively, leaning in to kiss me.
For a moment, I give into him, but I come to my senses and push him away. "Yes, Draco, the snogging and the hot times are very enjoyable and fun. But I don't want fun, I want a relationship."
"But we are in a relationship." Draco said.
"Oh, really, so what am I to you?" I asked.
"Well, you're my best friend…who I'm kind of dating, so that would make you like…um, my best girlfriend?" He asked looking confused.
I rolled my eyes. "No! I'm your mistress, I'm the other woman. I'm girlfriend number two, and I don't like that. If you don't break up with her, I'm done." I said seriously.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"I mean no more kissing and hot times."
Draco groaned. "Come on, Jo, don't threaten me."
"It seems like it's the only way you're going to do something." I shrugged.
"Fine, I'll do it."
"Soon." I said.
"All right. Now, can we please get back to the fun stuff? You're are so damn irresistable."
"You just sweet talk your way through everything, don't you?" I asked smiling.
"Only cause it works."
"Come here." I said pulling him in for another kiss.
"Jolina, how come you don't have a boyfriend?" Pansy asked during breakfast the next morning.
"What do you mean?" I asked. "I always have a boyfriend."
"Well, you don't right now." She said.
"I'm taking a break from guys at the moment. Why do you ask?"
"Because there's this totally hot Ravenclaw who likes you and I was wondering if you'd be interested in meeting him."
"What's his name?" I asked. I wasn't all that interested,but it would be suspicious if it appeared that way.
"Bret Waise." Pansy said.
"I think I've heard of him." I said.
"Great, I'll introduce you to him at lunch." She said, getting up.
"No, I don't want to…meet him." She was already half way across the Great Hall. Guess I had to let this guy down easy.
At lunch Pansy looked extremely happy. I knew it was because she was excited about me meeting Bret.
"Why are you happy?" Draco asked.
"Because I'm hooking Jolina up." Pansy said winking at me.
"What do you mean?" He asked quickly.
"There's this guy in Ravenclaw who likes her, so I'm setting them up." She answered.
"I'm very much against this." I said trying to reassure Draco.
Draco looked slightly panicked. "Yeah, me too." He said.
"Oh, shut it." Pansy said to Draco. "Jolina, you're gonna love him. Here he comes right now."
A tall, muscular, brown haired blue eyed guy was making his way towards us. My jaw dropped, he was gorgeous. I looked at Pansy. "Is that him?" I asked.
She merely nodded, looking pleased with herself. Bret reached us.
"Hi, Jolina. I'm Bret." He said. He had a surprisingly soft voice, which I liked.
"Hi, I'm Jolina. I mean, nice to meet you Bret." I giggled like a little girl. He smiled. Wow, his smile was amazing.
I could see Draco was beyond pissed.
Who is this guy?! How dare he flirt with my girlfriend? Or, I mean my best girlfriend. Whatever she is, she's with me, so this guy needs to take a hike. I'm waiting for Jo to tell him that, but all she does is smile like a little girl. She can't seriously be attracted to this guy.
"So, Jolina," Bret says. "Pansy told me you'd be willing to accompany me on a walk."
"Did she?" Jo asked looking at Pansy.
"I sure did." Pansy said. "So, why don't you two go on that walk?"
Jo glanced at me and bit her lip. I loved when she did that, it turned me on. I wonder what it would feel like if she bit my lip. Probably, one of the best feelings in the world.
"I don't know." she said
"Oh come on, Jolina, go enjoy a walk. Besides, Blaise isn't hanging out with us today, so you'll probably feel like a third wheel when me and Draco kiss and stuff." Pansy said.
Shit, that go her! She hated watching us kiss. Now she was gonna go off with some smart good looking guy. Saying I was jealous was an understatement. Jo's eyes lit up.
"You know, Pansy you're right. You and Draco should have some alone time. You know, talk things over and discuss some things." She raised her eyebrows at me. I knew she was suggesting I break up with Pansy right now.
"Bret, I would love to accompany you on a walk." She said smiling.
Stupid Bret smiled back at her and held out his hand to help her up. Once she was up they didn't stop holding hands, that bothered me. I watched them walk away.
"They are so cute together." Pansy said.
No, they're not. Jo is way too good for that know it all, I thought. There was silence as we ate. This would be the perfect time to break up with Pansy. I'm not even fully sure why I haven't done it yet.
I guess because I'm scared. I've loved Jo for as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be with her. I never told her because I never thought in a million years she would feel the same way. So, I dated Pansy, she was a safe choice for a long term girlfriend. No one else would tolerate me being so close to someone as gorgeous as Jo.
Pansy gets jealous sometimes, but she probably thinks we're nothing more than friends. Man, is she wrong. I feel really guilty about cheating on Pansy with Jo, but I can't help myself around her, I mean she's what I've always wanted, and I now that I've got Jo, I'm not letting her go.
But I know if I don't end things with Pansy, Jo is going to let everything we have go. But still, I can't do it. I'm worried that if Jo and I do get together, she'll dump me after two weeks like everyone else she dates. But I don't want to tell her that, because she might feel insulted.
I don't even know if she loves me like I love her. She never even showed interest in me until this year when I started flirting with her and hinting that I liked her as more than a friend. I mean, Jo is my best friend, I would have known if she had feelings for me right?
Anyways, I'll have to end things with Pansy, or I'll lose Jo. But now isn't the right time for that. Now, I had to make sure this Bret guy wasn't making a move on my girl. So, I had to get away from Pansy, I knew the only way was to piss her off.
"I left my Charms book on my bed, go get it." I said to Pansy.
"I'm not your house elf, go get it yourself." Pansy said angrily.
"Fine." I said getting up and walking out of the Great Hall. I thought about where Jo and Bret would most likely be. I decided to try the beech tree next to the Black Lake, Jo loved it there.
I was right, I saw them sitting under it. I found the nearest bush and hid in it to listen to what they were saying without being seen.
I heard Jo laugh. "You have a very exquisite laugh." Bret said. What the hell?! Where does he get the word 'exquisite'?
"Thanks." Jo says. "No one has ever said that to me."
Note to self: tell Jo I like her laugh. I keep listening.
"This walk has been rather enjoyable." Bret said.
"Yes, it has been. Thanks for inviting me." Jo said.
"Oh, the pleasure is all mine." He said. "I'm just sad that it must end so soon."
"Lunch isn't over for another half an hour." She said.
"Yes, but, unfortunately, I must leave you early."
"Why? Do you have to get back to your girlfriend or something?" Jo asked. I couldn't believe she was seriously interested in whether or not this guy had a girlfriend or not.
Bret chuckled. "I don't have a girlfriend. I'm single. I have to practice Charms. I pretty much have the spell, down, but I want to make sure I have it perfected. I'm kind of a perfectionist."
"That's amazing!" Jo said admiringly.
"Thanks. So um, what about you, do you have a boyfriend? You no longer date that Calington fellow, right?"
Fellow? Okay, seriously, who the hell says fellow?! That's ridiculous!
"Nope, we broke up about a week ago." Jo said. "As for being single, well…" She paused. I wondered what she would say. Did she see herself as single even though she was kind of with me?
"I'm pretty much single." She said. Well, what does that mean?
"Well, that's good." He said.
"Really?" Jo asked. I'm sure she was smiling.
"Yes, because if you weren't single, I wouldn't be able to do this."
There was silence. Why? I peeked out of the bush and saw them kissing. Anger and jealousy raced through my veins immediatly. I absolutely hated seeing Jo with other guys. I couldn't control my anger or jealousy when I saw it.
And I was so pissed right now, I was shaking, and my fists balled up. I wanted to hit Bret, but I couldn't, Jo would kill me. I had to stop this.
I walked over to them, taking deep breaths, trying to find control. "Hey guys." I said. They broke apart. Jo looked worried.
"Draco, what are you doing here?" She asked.
"Well, Pansy had to do something, so she told me to find you guys." I said.
"It's very good you came now." Bret said. "I must go, and I'd hate to leave this lovely girl alone. Thank you for such a spectacular time."
He got up and kissed Jo's hand. "Until next time."
Jo giggled. "Until next time." Bret nodded to me and then walked away.
When he was earshot away, I turned to Jo. "What the fuck, Jo?!" I said angrily.
She looked surprised. "What?!" She asked.
"Were you really just kissing that prick?" I asked.
"Oh, you mean Bret, who isn't dating two girls?! Bret who can make up his mind about who he wants?" Jo said angrily.
"Yes. Look, you can't go around snogging other guys."
Jo raised her eyebrows. "Excuse me, but you do not tell me what I can and can't do!" She said fiercely.
The thing I loved about Jo was that unlike Pansy, she didn't take any of my shit. Jo didn't let me walk all over her. How sexy is that?
I couldn't help but smile. "What the fuck is so funny?" She asked.
I didn't say anything, I just kissed her. She was surprised at first but then she kissed me back. She always tasted so damn good. I kissed her harder, wrapping my arms around her tightly. Jo gripped my collar as she pulled away.
She rested her forehead on mine, smiling. "You didn't break up with her, did you?" She asked.
"No." I said.
"Draco, I'm dead serious when I say if you don't break up with her soon, we're done. I feel extremely guilty about what we're doing." Jo said.
"Me too. Look, I swear I will take care of it, all right?" I said.
"You better, otherwise I will start dating Bret, because he's hot, and he's a great kisser." She smirked.
I wasn't going to let that happen. "I will." I promised.
"So, half an hour alone, what should we do?" She asked smiling, wrapping her arms around my neck.
"I think this should keep us entertained." I said kissing her.
A/N: Hey. Thought I'd switch it up,and let you guys see how Draco feels about Jo. Thanks for reading!