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Simply Smashing by heart4siriusblack

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Format: Novel
Chapters: 19
Word Count: 71,924
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Fluff, Humor, Romance
Characters: Teddy, Scorpius, Albus, James (II), Lily (II), Hugo, Rose, Victoire, OC
Pairings: James/OC, Rose/Scorpius, Other Pairing

First Published: 01/27/2011
Last Chapter: 03/06/2014
Last Updated: 03/06/2014


I tell him he's revolting.
He whispers that I'm beautiful.
I glare at him until my eyes hurt from the effort.
He smiles at me so gently my heart shatters.
I make him laugh until his sides ache.
He makes me cry until there's nothing left.
I push him away; He pulls me closer.
James Sirius Potter is the most conceited, arrogant, self-centered jerk to walk the planet. I love that idiot so much it makes me dizzy.

Chapter 11: Hey, it's Eleven!
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I stared incredulously at him, mentally snorting at his ridiculously giddy expression, “So I get to hit you now, right?”

His eyes widened in shock and horror as he raised a hand to his chest, “You seriously don’t think this was worth it?”

I surveyed the room and its contents and gave a noncommittal shrug.

I mean, they’re alright.

Kind of adorable.

But I shall not break.

I will indeed get my free shot at hitting James’s face.

I’m sort of super stoked.

He shook his head in disappointment, “You’re not human.”

I frowned, “You’re a jerk and I hope somebody pinches you.”

Getting pinched sucks.

He scoffed and grinned, “Good one Tiff. Real witt-”

“Okay James, I’m here. What’s the big emergen- bunnies!” Rose Weasley squealed as she shot past us into the classroom filled with bunny rabbits and collapsed into an adorable fluff covered heap.

James raised an eyebrow at me and gestured at the redhead giggling madly on the floor, “See? That’s the normal kind of reaction I was expecting. You are just not natural.”

Wow, that’s really nice of you to say.

I feel all splendid and fuzzy inside.

I cannot wait to hit you.

I shrugged lightly, “They’re sort of cute. I guess.”

He bent over and put his face right in front of mine before squinting at me, “Sort of? You guess?”

I swallowed and looked away.

Stay strong girl.

You can win this.

I raised my eyebrows and smirked challengingly, “I’ve seen cuter.”

Fat lie.

He boomed out a laugh and crossed his arms over his chest before smirking back, “You’re lying.”

This is not going well.

I really should never have left the sanity of the library. I should’ve realized something was up when the only hint he would give me the whole way here was ‘they’re so cute you’ll die’.

That’s comforting.

But honestly, theses bunnies are so goddamn precious I feel like I’m exploding a little bit on the inside from not snuggling their fluffy goodness.

On the other hand, if I stay strong for just a little longer, I get to smack James Potter.

Oh Merlin, this decision is impossible.

Maybe I can have both.

Hit James, grab a bunny and run.

Hells yeah I come up with awesome plans.

“Where’d you even get all these fluffballs anyway?” I asked, attempting to distract him.

He rocked up and down on his heels with a very smug smile, “I might have borrowed them from the Transfiguration supply closet.”

Rose shot up, her normally perfect red hair disheveled and sticking up in places and a very large frown on her face, “James. That’s completely against the rules. Do you even know how many detentions you could get for this?”

I quirked a curious brow, “How many?”

She lowered her voice very seriously, “Five, probably. Maybe even six.”

James and I simultaneously let out a low whistle and shot each other amused grins before I realized that he confuses me and that I am to be wary of him and his contraband bunnies.

“This is serious, you guys. We could all get in major trouble, I could lose my Prefects badge-”

She had begun to panic.

And even me, who barely knows the girl, is well aware that a panicking Rose is hell to deal with.

And since I, Tiffany Walker, am just totally ace at dealing with emotions, I’m definitely the person most equipped to handle this situation.



Good one, Tiff.

Now it’s time to get the fudge out of here and take that precious grey bunny that is conveniently close to my left hand, just innocently twitching its nose on top of a desk while waiting for dear ol’ Tiff to rescue it from this dastardly place.

“So Potter, how’d you manage to get all these furry little guys in here by yourself?” I asked slyly, talking right over Rose’s panic-stricken psycho babble.

He puffed himself up importantly and said after a dramatic pause, “Magic.”

I rolled my eyes, unwillingly letting out a short laugh.

Must not find the things he says funny.

He shall be under close observation until his motives for following me around have been uncovered.

I feel like a spy.

It’s kind of awesome.

“-not to mention what my mother would say-”

“Magic, huh? Well isn’t that a nifty concept.” I inched closer to the rabbit.

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye suspiciously, “What are you up to?”

I blinked innocently at him, “Whatever do you mean? I’m just admiring the totally ace surprise that you’ve brought me to. Definitely pleased. Job well done.”

Alright, so I’m not the sneakiest person in the world.

And I’m horrible under pressure.

But I really want this bunny.

I’ve already named him and everything!

His name is Arnold.

And he is precious.

James raised an eyebrow at me as he crossed his arms over his chest, “You’re going to take that bunny, aren’t you.”

It wasn’t a question.

I ran a hand through my hair, “Pfffft. Yeah, right. That’s a joke. I don’t even know which bunny you’re talking about.”

He shook his head at me but smiled crookedly, “The bunny that your hand is currently petting.”


I grabbed Arnold and hugged him to my chest, “I just want to hold Arnold for a minute. No need to get fussy.”

He boomed out his laugh and raked a hand through his hair, “You’ve named it? You know that’s the first step to getting attached.”

I waved a hand breezily at him and scoffed, “I’m not attached. I could put this bunny down any time I want.”

He walked up to me with his hands out, smirking, “Give me Arnold, then.”

I turned away from him, protectively cradling Arnie, “I don’t want to.”

He grinned triumphantly, “Because you’re attached.”

Because I don’t know what harmful thing you may do to him.” I glared mock suspiciously.

He snorted, “I’m not going to hurt your precious bunny rabbit. Just let me see him for a sec-”

“Wicked! Bunnies!” Fred and Scorpius came barreling into the classroom, scooping up rabbits by the armful and snuggling them close.

I snorted and nudged Fred’s side, “Well aren’t you boys manly-”

The door burst open, and Dominique Weasley with three of her friends shoved each other out of the way to get to the bunny rabbits and began squealing their thanks to Fred for inviting them and giggling very loudly.

Dominique walked away from her friends after a moment and over to me, sticking her hand out, “Hi, I’m Dom. You’re a seventh year, right?”'

I smiled and shook her hand while nodding, “I’m Tiffany. You’re on the Hufflepuff quidditch team, yeah?”

She beamed and nodded, “Chaser. Our team’s amazing. We’re definitely going to win this year, I can feel it!”

Dream on, sister.

Gryffindor has remained undefeated for the last ten years.

James scoffed loudly, “Dream on, Dom. Our team is way too solid for Puffers to even think about taking the win.”

Dom raised a perfectly shaped brow and put her hands on her hips, “Well excuse me, Jamie, but you really don’t know what you’re up against. With Tim captaining this year-”

James laughed loudly, “Smithers is a moron, and you know it. He couldn’t lead a troop of girl scouts, let alone a quidditch team.”

“Timothy is twice the captain you’ll ever be, and you’re just too proud to admit it you prick!”

James snorted and smirked, “Shagging him then, are you?”

Dom colored bright red and spluttered, “What- who- go to hell!”

She flipped him off before stomping back to her friends.

I let out a low whistle, “Well. That was volatile.”

James ran and a hand through his hair and smiled crookedly, “Nah, that’s just me and Dom. We fight like we hate each other, but we’re actually pretty close. Just bickering cousins, and all that.”

This family is insane.

Hugo Weasley came bounding into the room just then, followed by a couple of his third year friends and spotted his sister, “Rose! You didn’t tell me you were doing something fun today! I’m proud of you.”

She blushed and stopped her worrying for a moment to mumble, “Bugger off Hugh.”

And I’d say that’s about when all hell broke loose.

“What do you mean it’s no big deal? Scorpius, I could lose my Prefects badge-”

“Just let me hold Arnold for two seconds-”

“These are so ace! How mad do you think Brian is in detention? I bet he’s about ready to jump off a tower-”

“Arnold. Is. Mine.”

“Do you reckon it would hurt them if we went flying with them? I mean, all that fluff would probably break a fall-”

The door banged open once again with an almighty slam and a furious Roxanne Weasley stood in the doorway, “You bitches are having a party with bunnies and didn’t invite me?!”

“It’s not a party, Rox-” James began.

“It just kind of happened.” Freddie finished from the floor, voice muffled from the rabbits Scorpius was attempting to smother him with.

“Somebody hand me something fluffy, right now.” Roxy demanded and was instantly appeased when James handed her a particularly chubby bunny.

I will repeat: this family is insane.

Roxy smiled happily and twirled for a moment before turning to James, “Oh, and Al says McGonagall knows her rabbits are missing and she’s sent Filch to look for them.”

James scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Filch is so old he’s practically deaf. He’s not a prob-”

“He’s got that new cat with him.”

James wheeled around to us, eyes wide, “GRAB A BUNNY AND RUN!”




“You would not believe the day I’ve had.” I said, collapsed on my bed and stroking Arnold’s ears.

Jen looked up from her magazine and raised her eyebrows, “What’s with the bunny?”

I sighed, “You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

I want to tell her all about it, I do, but how exactly do I phrase the fact that I spent a solid four hours with the people she idolizes?

We all had hid in the Hufflepuff common room for a couple hours, since it was the closest and it was Dom’s house.

Their common room is pretty darn cozy.

Not as good as Gryffindor’s, but pretty excellent.

She stared at me for a moment before shrugging and looking back at the star studded pages of Witch Weekly, “Eh, tell me about it when Addie gets here. How’d your paper go?”

“Horrendous.” I thought for a second before saying, “Actually, no. I take that back. It went okay since little Al wrote most of it for me.”

She looked up with a dreamy grin, “He is so cute. You’re such a lucky bitch to be on speaking terms with him.”

I rolled my eyes and looked at the high beamed stone ceiling, “He’s actually a really nice guy. He’ll probably do your papers too if you just talked to him once in awhile instead of wistfully sighing about him up in a tower.”

She grinned devilishly, “That’s not the only thing I’d have him do for me.”

I gagged.

“You’re disgusting. That boy is a child.”

She rolled her eyes, “He’s a year younger than us.”

“Right. A child.”

Kate Longbottom strolled in with our other roommate Stephanie Abrams, two girls who had never deigned to look at me let alone talk to me in the past six years.

But they just did both.

They smiled and greeted me like an old friend.

Jen looked like her jaw was about to become unhinged.

They were both beautiful, Kate with her shiny chestnut hair and sparkling sapphire eyes, and Stephanie with her auburn locks and perfect rosy complexion.

“Hey Tiff,” Kate grinned conspiratorially, “Nice bunny. Steph and I were going to come but we were stuck in detention.” She rolled her eyes.

I swallowed quickly and looked at Jen, who seemed to be frozen.

I smiled slightly, “It was fun. We had to run for it though because of Filch’s new cat.”

“That thing is the devil.” Stephanie muttered from the bathroom where she was brushing her teeth.

Kate giggled and flopped back on her bed, “My dad says when he went to school Mrs. Norris was the devil. So maybe this new one is just the spawn of satan.”

I laughed and Jen gave a weak smile.

“What’s its name again?” Stephanie asked, walking from the bathroom and sitting cross legged on  her bed.

“Mrs.Buckley. How deceptively pleasant.” I sighed and Kate and Stephanie laughed and agreed.

Jen turned to me and said in a strained voice, “Hey, Tiff? Do you mind coming with me to the kitchens?”

I shrugged, “Yeah, let’s go. I’m dying for a treacle tart.”

Kate shot up and grinned, “Oooh! Those are my favorite! Mind bringing me one?”

“Me too.” called Steph in a muffled voice, who was face down in her pillow.

I gave a half smile and nodded before heaving myself up from the bed, “Mind watching Arnold for a bit?”

Kate beamed, “Love to!”

I nodded my thanks and followed Jen out the door.

“Thank merlin you want to go to the kitchens, I’m starved.” I declared to Jen once I’d shut the door behind me.

I started walking to the staircase but Jen grabbed my arm and stopped me.

I swallowed thickly when I saw the look on Jen’s face.

I see it often.

It means one thing: you’re in trouble.







A/N: Hey, everyone! I feel awful about the long distance between updates, especially since I promised this one would be fast, but my plot bunny for this story had run away. But luckily! I caught that silly thing and it is here to stay once more.

What did you lovely folks think? We meet a lot of new characters this chapter, and I hoped you liked James's surprise! I know I would :)

I realized after rereading this chapter that I once again got a little italics happy, but Rose seemed like such an italics kind of girl to me, but then, so did the rest of the Wotters!

Also, I know I've gotten a little slow with responding to comments, but I read all of them and they all make me very happy! I will write back to your amazing responses to this story, I promise. 

I hope you you guys are still loving the story and loving Tiffany, and I'm super curious as to what you thought of all the Wotters and of this chapter, and I'd love to hear from you!

Reeeeview?! :D