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Chapter 11: Sun Vomit, Balloon Animals, and Eggplant Head
Being welcomed back into Gryffindor’s warm arms is a lot easier than you think because when your brother is part of the most popular trio in all of Hogwarts, then anything is pretty much easier than you think.
And I know that I should probably be way, way more pissed at all the people that were little shits to me in the past week, especially Al, Rosie, Fred, Louis, Apollo, Shane, and James, but being the forgiving person that I am, I couldn’t help but love them all again instantly.
Not to mention the fact that they were all practically drowning in guilt and they were treating me as if I was a queen.
Rosie let me use the shower first this morning and she didn’t even bitch when I used up all the hot water.
Al didn’t complain when I stole massive amounts of bacon off of his plate when there was none left on the platter.
Freddie and Louis complimented me twenty times more than usual, which had me in slightly creeped out, but I accepted it just because I missed the perverted fucks so much.
Shane, Apollo, and James barely even let my feet touch the ground because they gave me so many piggyback rides that I almost forgot what walking felt like.
I suppose when your best friend/girl that you perv on/little sister/surrogate little sister gets practically sexually assaulted and used to destroy a quidditch team, it really hits home.
I know it was only a week that we’d been in our little spat, but it felt like a lifetime. I forgot how much I deeply missed all of them.
I forgot how much it made me laugh when Fred and Louis made comments causing them to get hit and/or punched by Apollo.
I forgot how much I missed hearing Rosie rant about getting a fraction of a point off for a tiny little spelling error.
I forgot how much I loved when Al would grumble about needing bloke friends when we’d complain about periods or lady parts.
I forgot how much Shane would make me crack up just by the littlest input that he’d put into conversations.
But out of everyone, James and Apollo were by far the two people that I missed the most.
Apollo has always been my shoulder to cry on, and over the past week, I wasn’t able to have his shoulder if I needed it, which I desperately did.
Even now, when everything is fantastic again (well, other than the fact that git-faced Davies is still alive and kicking), it’s just nice to know that I can go to him if I’m ever upset or just need someone to talk to.
And then it is such a relief it is to be able to look James in the eye again without him glaring daggers at me and making me either want to shit my pants or break down in tears.
The way he looks at me now is the way that he used to look at me. With a sweet smile and twinkling eyes.
It’s the type of look that gives you butterflies the size of station wagons in the pit of your stomach, and it makes your heart beat as loud as the rock concert of a century.
Having him look at me like that again…I can’t even describe it.
Forgiveness is seriously bliss, Albert.
I’ve also made it a point to spend more time with Athena now that I know that she’s not always an uptight cow.
I hung out with her twice since the night of the party, which is a lot more than our usual zero.
I’ve also decided that instead of just screaming, ‘SUP DONNY! HOW’S SECOND YEAR KICKING!?’ in the hallway when I see him that I’m actually going to start talking to him more often.
“Oh dear Merlin, what is with all the yellow in here? It’s like the sun threw up!”
“It’s the Hufflepuff common room, Aphrodite. Of course it’s going to have a lot of yellow.”
“I know that, but seriously, it’s honestly like someone pissed out fifty gallons of lemonade all over here. It’s making me sick.”
“Oi! Stop insulting my common room! I happen to like the color yellow!”
“Well, duh. You’re a Puff. You have to like your own house color. Personally, yellow reminds me of piss and sun vomit.”
“Well, red reminds me of blood and Nana’s red, lacy knickers that Apollo found in her laundry basket two summers ago.”
“You just said yellow reminded you of sun vomit!”
“I’d rather think about the sun puking than Nana’s knickers!”
“At least you didn’t have Apollo put them on your head! Do you know deeply scarred I was when he did that?! I’ll never look at Nana the same!”
“See, so you are gross talking about Nana’s knickers, and I’m the sane one.”
“You are far from sane.”
“That’s rude and I demand you take it back.”
“It’s called the truth, excuse me for telling it.”
“Take it back or I’ll turn your rat into a pencil!”
“Then I’ll just change it back. We learned that charm last week. If you’re going to threaten me, then at least do it with a sixth year curse.”
“You’re no fun.”
“At least I’m sane.”
That was me spending time with my little brother. Now you know why I don’t do it too often.
“Aphrodite, quit whining at me. I’m in the middle of an essay.”
“You’ve been working on that essay for hours! I’m bored!”
“You have friends! Go bother them!”
“Bother? So my visits are bothering to you? How rude!”
“They’re only bothering when you irritate me in the middle of writing an essay and demand that I ‘entertain you’. I’m not a bloody clown. I’m not going to start doing tricks and make you balloon animals!”
“Ooh! Do you know how to make balloon animals? I’d like a giraffe, please.”
“Aphrodite, nobody knows how to make balloon animals except for clowns and creepy street performers. It’s not exactly a skill you learn in Charms class.”
“They should totally teach that. Maybe I’d actually enjoy going to class for once.”
“Where would making balloon animals get you later in life? What could you possibly do with that useless piece of information?”
“Don’t be such a poop! There’s plenty of things that I could do with a balloon animal making skill!”
“I could entertain little kids…”
“That makes you sound like a child molester.”
“Entertain them with balloons! Don’t be dirty!”
“You’re the one that makes ‘that’s what she said jokes’ about every ten seconds. News flash, they are not funny at all.”
“Excuse me! That’s what she said jokes are a classic! They get a laugh like a quarter of the time!”
“More like an eighth.”
“You’re no fun.”
“You’re a nuisance.”
“You’re a boring old maid.”
“I’m fourteen. How is that an old maid?”
“It’s the principle of the thing.”
“That makes no sense whatsoever.”
“You’re face makes no sense.”
“I really wonder where you got your brains from. I mean, Mum and Dad are decently smart. Where did they go wrong with you?”
“It was meant to be.”
“At least I’m a kind hearted soul!”
“Yesterday, you told a first year to carry your books to Transfiguration or else you’d banish them to munchkin land where they belonged. That’s not a kind hearted soul in my book!”
“That’s because your definition of kind hearted is seriously warped.”
“In what way?”
“You think that Aunt Wanda is a sweet person.”
“She told Dad that he had chicken legs, Mum that her roast beef tasted like wet towels, Apollo that he was never going to get a girlfriend unless he learned to smile without looking constipated, me that it looked like my hair had a cat clawing through it, and Donny that he needed to learn how to set a table properly or else he’d never go anywhere in life.”
“Well, she never said anything bad about me!”
“That’s because she thinks you’re a bloody angel sent down from heaven.”
“That’s because I am.”
“You’re too cheeky for your own good.”
“And you’re too annoying for your own good.”
“Is that essay easy?”
“No, actually, it’s really hard.”
“That’s what she said!”
“You totally set me up!”
“It was funny, wasn’t it?”
“I hate you.”
Spending time with my little sister wasn’t as bad, but not by much.
“I think I’m going to dye my hair purple.”
“Purple, you know, like violets and eggplant. I’m going to dye my hair purple.”
“Why the fuck would you ever dye your hair purple, Ro? Your hair is pretty the way it is!”
“I just want a change, you know?”
“No, I don’t know! If you want a change then you buy a different pair of earrings, you don’t bloody dye your hair the color of eggplants! Do you want to go around being called ‘eggplant head’ for the rest of your life?”
“Merlin, calm down. I’m just yanking your wand. I’m not actually going to dye my hair purple.”
“Why do you do that shit to me, Ro?”
“It’s funny seeing you get worked up.”
“You find the cruelest ways to find amusement.”
“The cruelest ways are also the funniest ways.”
“Sometimes I think you’re actually Voldemort in disguise.”
“I think it would be pretty hard to get a create a new nose from nothing.”
“That’s true, I think the red eyes would be a slight give away too.”
“So are you convinced that I’m not Voldemort?”
“Are you sure? I could remove my mask and avada kedavra you right now if I wanted.”
“That’s really not something to joke about. My best friend and your three best friend’s parents or aunts and uncles are the ones that defeated him.”
“All the more reason to be able to joke about it. They killed him so we could kid around about his stupid looking lack of nose and creepy eyes later in life.”
“I’m fairly certain that that isn’t the reason that they defeated the darkest wizard of all time. You might want to brush up on your history of magic sometime.”
“History of magic is for nerds like Athena.”
“Very true. But Binns actually did something interesting for the first time in his life…well, after life, I guess.”
“What! What did he do!?”
“He farted, which I didn’t even think was possible for a ghost to do, and then after he did it, he kept teaching as if nothing happened. I don’t even think he realized he did it.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t just Shane making fart noises at random intervals during the day like last year?”
“Positive. The back of Binns’ robes even flew up a little bit with the air.”
“Okay, that’s disgusting. What would a ghost fart even smell like?”
“No clue, maybe they don’t even have smells. I couldn’t smell anything from Binns, but I was in the back of the room.”
“You do realize that we are having a conversation about what a ghost’s fart smells like.”
“I do, but I’m kind of enjoying it.”
“Even though it’s slightly repulsive?”
“Why of course. I wouldn’t expect anything less from a conversation with you.”
“I don’t know whether or not to be insulted by that last statement.”
“Be positive and choose not to be insulted.”
“I don’t know, I’m feeling a bit negative at the moment, and I’m thoroughly insulted.”
“Didn’t Mum ever tell you to look at the goblet half full?”
“Yes, but when have I ever listen to Mum?”
“Right, didn’t think about that one.”
“Perhaps you should consider these things next time.”
“Sorry to let you down.”
“It’s okay, you’ll just have to repay me in cheesecake.”
“You don’t need anymore cheesecake.”
“Are you calling me fat?”
“No, I’m just saying-“
“Are you calling me fat?”
“No! It’s just that cheesecake is really unhealthy-“
“Are you calling me fat?”
“For the millionth time, no!”
“Technically, that wasn’t the millionth time, it was only the third time.”
“Why do you have to be so irritating?”
“Because you like it.”
“Sorry to burst that bubble, love, but I really don’t.”
“Yes, you do. That’s why I’m your favorite family member.”
“See, that’s where you have it wrong. On the contrary, Finnick is my favorite family member.”
“Our old dead dog doesn’t count.”
“It would be an insult to his memory not to count him!”
“Why are you such a git?”
“Because you like it.”
Spending time with my older brother is by far my favorite.
A/N: So this was a major filler chapter that had no point whatsoever, but it’s a chapter nonetheless, right? It was also a chapter that was completely pulled out of my ass in one night and I literally wrote down whatever was flowing through my head so I apologize if it’s really weird. I hope you like it though.
Did you like all the siblingness? Or their strange conversations? Leave me a review to let me know, and also what your favorite lines were!
Oh, and speaking of reviews, HOLY TONS OF REVIEWS ON THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER!? As of now, it is 99, and I can’t even believe it! Almost 100 reviews for one chapter!? That’s amazing! Thank all of you so much! I love you in the least creepy way possible. (:
I have a new story out, by the way! It’s another James/OC and it’s called Roomies. You should check it out if you get the chance!