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Chapter 3: I Hate Mondays
BANG. Table shakes. BANG. Alice yelps as the table's drastic movements spill her tea down her front. Bea lazily ciphers it off before Alice gets in a panic. (She tends to do that quite a lot.)
BANG. My toast smothered in marmite (don't kill me but I love the stuff), flies from my plate and straight onto my front. Seriously, it's like a cartoon moment. But, if we were in a cartoon I would probably have steam shooting out of my ears right now in anger. Probably a good thing this is reality, as I'm not sure the steam-shooting-out-of-my-ears look would be a particularly attractive one. BANG.
"For merlins sake James! Stop banging your head on the table!"
"But I hate Mondays!" he groaned.
"So do I! But do you see me banging my head like theres no tomorrow?"
"Only on my bedpost last night" Drew answers with a smug grin. James punches Drew hard in the arm to let out his frustration. Violence is a good way to shut Drew up.
"I hate Mondays" James groaned at me as he began to wolf down his breakfast.
My best friend has no table manners in the morning. I sometimes wonder if James just slips all the other girls in school a love potion to make them obsessed with him, because there is nothing attractive about his eating right now.
"You've already said."
"But seriously, have you seen my timetable?" James shoved the parchment into my hands. "It's pure hell."
"It's the same as mine."
James looks up at me in surprise.
"We picked the same NEWTs you idiot. It was the same last year?"
"Oh yeah... Well, at least I know I won't die alone in the hideousness that is Mondays."
"You're such a drama queen."
"Lise" James took my hands across the table and looked me in the eye seriously. "When I die-"
"Oh shut up!"
"No, listen! When I die I would like you to-"
"What're we doing?" Freddy asks as he slips into the seat beside James and steals the rest of his breakfast.
"Listening to James' last will and testament."
"Oh. Cool. Proceed" he told James with a wave of his hand as he dug into the stolen breakfast.
"So, Lise. When I die I want you to have my most prized possessions, as your my best friend. I therefore would like to give you..."
"She's your best friend?" Fred interjected, his mouth spilling with bacon and his eyes sad.
"So are you. I'm allowed more than more best friend, Freddo."
"Then what do I get?"
"Well, you see I've worked it all out..."
"Hurry up James" I groaned, irritated with my idiotic best friend and his odd tendancies. Seriously, who plans out their wills at seventeen?
"Fine," he huffed. "Will you please look after my lucky boxers when I die?!"
"Ew! That is absolutely disgusting! No I will not!"
"Excuse me!" James pretended to be offended. "They are very important to me! I lost my virginity in those babies!"
The Great Hall went deadly silent as everybody turned to stare at James. He didn't even have the decency to blush, he just grinned about like an idiot.
"The ones with the snitches and quaffles on?" Lucy Wood reminisced her fifth year encounter with James.
James at least began to blush now, but I think that was because everybody now knew he'd lost his virginity to Lucy Wood, who was pretty, but not the prettiest girl he'd ever been with. He was also being stared down by Wood's macho Ravenclaw boyfriend which must have been pretty uncomfortable for him. Serves him right for being so loud.
"I like girls" Fred announced loudly to divert attention away from James.
The Great Hall erupted into laughter and soon everybody was back to their breakfast with the usual babble of chatter. I stole a glance at the Professors at the top table who didn't seem to have noticed the outbursts, they'd learnt to ignore James and Fred's antics. However, I caught Professor Longbottom's eye and saw his sneaky grin, seeing as he was close with the Potters and Weasley's he was far more laid back. He was an amazing Head of House.
"Thanks Freddo" James patted his friend on the shoulder.
"No problem mate. Pretty helpful for me anyway, I swear that Hufflepuff twat Matthews has been checking me out for a while now."
"Well, he is gay," I sighed. "I mean, he should be allowed to look at boys if he wants to, shouldn't he?"
Fred and James just stared at me like I was mad.
"Look, say a girl was off limits you'd still check her out wouldn't you?" I reasoned. "It's just the same. I doubt he fancies you or anything Fred. If anything, you should be happy that you're so attractive you have boys checking you out too."
Fred grinned at me. "I hadn't thought about it like that! Well, if you two will excuse me..." Fred stood up from the table and brushed the crumbs off his robes. "I'm just going to go and chat to that pretty Ravenclaw over there."
I followed his gaze and nodded in approval. "Her names Alicia Chang."
"Thanks Lise" he patted my arm. "You're a doll."
I watched Fred with raised eyebrows as he sauntered over to Alicia Chang and began to flirt.
"Did he just call me doll?"
James shrugged. "You think that's bad. He called me sexy the other day."
I snorted. "Seriously?"
James nodded. "He's a strange kid. Wanna go embarrass him in front of Chang?"
"Na, he's doing it himself."
James looked confused, so I nodded in the direction of Fred, who was currently being screamed at by one of Chang's friends that he'd told he loved last year just to shag her on the train home.
"Do you think he'll ever learn?"
"Na. And he'll still have shagged Chang by the end of the week, " James shrugged.
"Lovely. I have such gentlemen for friends."
"Actually, I'm a perfect gentlemen. Wanna walk to class with me?" James asked as he hopped over the table and helped me up from my seat.
"What in Merlins name are you doing?" I asked James as he slipped my arm through the crook of his elbow.
"Being a gentleman" he pouted.
"You look like a gay."
Its surprising how quickly James pulled my arm from the crook of his after I said that. Honestly, my boy best friends are so homophobic.
"Arggghhhh!" Horatio Goyle shrieked as his cauldron blew up into his face. Angry red boils begun to appear as he ran in circles flinging his arms around, wreaking havoc in the dungeon. James leant against a pillar in fits of laughter as he absent-mindedly stirred his potion.
"Mr Goyle! Calm down!" Professor Waters demanded, but it was no use. Horatio was still squealing like a pig, although I had to admit, the noise suited him. Goyle had always had an uncanny resemblance to a pig.
"Parkinson! Accompany Goyle to the Hospital Wing please."
I glanced at Caroline Parkinson, a Slytherin as equally ugly as Goyle with an uncanny resemblance to a dog. She didn't look happy, in fact she looked like she was going to throw a hissy fit any moment. Stupid bitch. I'm not sure why I disliked Parkinson so much, but something about her, I strongly suspected her ugly features, pissed me off.
She also had a mysterious personal vendetta against me, and I don't have a clue what started it. All that is known is that we dislike each other equally, much in the way James and all Slytherins do. Although Mr Potter is always telling James to metaphorically bury the hippogriff like he did with his old Slytherin enemy, Draco Malfoy (Scorpius' dad), James has never listened. According to James the Slytherin's are a bunch of prats, which in fairness they are. There's no point trying to change James' mind anyway, when he makes his mind up there's no going back.
"Potter! Lynch! Detention!"
"What?!" we both exclaimed at exactly the same time. "Professor that's not fair!"
He held up a small, blackened lump that he had fished from Goyle's cauldron. "Wheezes merchandise? You could at least try to fool me Potter."
James crossed his arms and smirked while I glared at Professor Waters. If looks could kill, Professor Waters would be on the floor stone dead before you could say Avada Kedavra and I'd be on my way to Azkaban.
"Is something the matter Miss Lynch?"
"Actually yes!" I detested Professor Waters as he hated James and all those who were friends with James too. "I don't think it's very fair that you gave me detention sir!"
"You and Potter are partners in crime-"
"Hardly! It's quite obvious that James did it, but you can't prove I did! It's actually called bullying, sir, when you pick on students because they're friends with miscreants!"
"I don't want to waste my lesson listening to your poorly formed arguments Miss-"
"Poorly formed my arse! Professor, I think you underestimate the power a student has over a teacher!"
"I could have you sacked for bullying students!"
"Or for poor teaching as your unbelievably crap!"
"Or just for having a face like a toad!"
"MISS LYNCH! You will be attending detention tonight, simply due to your abusive language. I will not have that sort of behaviour in my classroom! Get out!"
Professor Waters pointed to the door and I gathered up my stuff, my anger evident as I slammed my books onto the desk before throwing them into my bag. I was storming out of the classroom when I heard James' sniggers.
"POTTER YOU TOO! Get out! I will not have you fooling about in my classroom!"
I watched from the doorway as James gathered his things up, snorting uncontrollably, his whole body shaking with laughter.
"Hey Lise" he giggled, wiping away the tears of laughter. "Nice performance!"
"Oh shut up!" I smacked James to release some fury. "He's such a dick!"
"Chill out, we've just got ourselves a free period!"
"Did you by any chance plan this?"
"No! Well, I didn't think that you'd be along with me, but now that you are we can go to the lake together!"
"Yeah! It's gorgeous out and I want to go swimming. Coming or not?"
James held out his hand to me and I looked at it for a moment before shrugging and taking his hand. We walked for about ten minutes, finding a sheltered part of the lake for us to swim in. It was beautiful actually, very serene. The trees grew tall and thick on the sides that faced the castle however the spot was a huge sun trap. The lake had formed against the pebbles along the side to create a small pool directly beside to grass. It was beautiful.
"You're so random!" I exclaimed. "How did you even find this place?"
"Fred and I found it last year, we promised we'd skip class and come swimming here one day."
"Won't Fred be annoyed when he hears you came without him?"
James gave me a look, with raised eyebrows and all, and I got the message. Boys don't care about things like that, that's a thing girls would be angry over.
"Don't you want to come with Fred though?"
James ruffled the back of his hair and moved to stand in front of me, taking my shoulders in the palms of his hands.
"You're my best friend Lise. I think you'll do."
James began to pull at his robes, stripping off with ease and a casual air, as if we stripped off in front of one another all the time.
"Are you going in the water in your robes?" James asked me when he was stood in his boxers by the edge of the lake.
I shook my head violently, but to my embarrassment I had suddenly lost the ability to speak. James had left me speechless. Well, James' body had left me speechless. It was, to put it simply, amazing. Broad, muscular shoulders, a full six pack that wasn't blantently obvious but was definitely there, strong arms and lean legs... it was at that moment that I understood why all the girls fancied him. My best friend is bloody gorgeous.
I tore my gaze from James' body and met his smirking face.
"Control yourself Lise" he teased and I threw the robe which I had just removed at his head.
I slowly slipped my shoes and socks off, delaying the moment when I'd have to stand in my underwear in front of James. The truth was, I'd never been nervous with James before, but I knew how many gorgeous girls James had been with and I didn't want to be compared to them. I wasn't anything special, despite what Fred and James might have said on the train yesterday about my boobs. Or Drew on the rest of me. They were probably just teasing, I wasn't spectacular looking at all.
"Do you want some help Lise?" James moved towards me and held his arms out, reaching for the buttons on my shirt. I slapped his hands away.
"James! You can't undress me!"
"Why not?" he smirked, slowly undoing my top two buttons, his hands getting ever closer to my chest area.
"Because it's weird!"
"No it's not. I'm undressing you in a purely platonic way."
"Just let me do it" I snapped at him, quickly undoing my shirt buttons and slipping it off.
Hesitating, I glanced at James who was staring at my chest. I instantly blushed. We were checking each other out. It's wrong on so many levels it's unbelievable, yet neither of us are actually that bothered by the sudden abnormality in our friendship.
James smiled at me and guided my hands to my skirt zip, allowing me to slide the zip down and step out of my skirt.
"I never thought I'd be undressing you Lise."
"I never thought I'd let you."
"It wasn't hard though was it?" he smiled, moving closer as he enclosed his hands around mine. Our bodies were inches apart, and we were half naked.
His face inched closer to mine, and I could feel his hot breath ticking my lips. I could almost taste the peppermint aroma and I licked my lips. We were so close together it was almost unbearable, yet our bodies weren't even touching. He looked at me steadily in the eye, and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me. James continued to stare into my eyes, as if daring me to back down. I wouldn't. I knew James was trying to tease me, trying to make me flinch, but I wasn't about to this time.
He didn't move his face from mine, instead he moved his lips even closer, there was a millimetre between our lips yet neither of us did anything.
"Let's go swimming!" James suddenly yelled, making me jump as the silence broke. He pulled me forward so quickly my stomach lurched and before I knew it, James had dragged me waist deep into the Lake. I was shivering like mad. It was a hot day but the water was still bloody freezing.
James moved towards me and wrapped his arms around me, giving me a hug to keep me warm. As I opened my mouth to say thank you he quickly hooked his arms underneath my thighs and threw me from his arms into the water. I emerged spluttering and very angry.
"James!" I screeched as I wiped the water from my eyes. "I'm gonna get you for that!"
We spent the whole day by the Lake. After an hour or so, when it got to lunch, Fred, Bea, Nick, Alice and Drew found us. James and I sunbathed on the grass in a patch of sun, drying ourselves off.
We amused ourselves by watching our friends as they played about in the Lake in their underwear: Fred picking up Bea and throwing her into the water so many times she was fit for murder when she removed herself from the water and sat beside me, drenched. Alice however, seemed to have a secret knack for drying spells, so with a flick of her wand all of us were completely dry in a moment.
We all bunked off the rest of our lessons, we much preferred the idea of spending our first day back by the Lake. The beauty was that none of us could get in any trouble, as at NEWT level, if you skipped class the teachers couldn't do anything about it. In fairness, you should go to class to learn for your exams, but we figured we'd be wild for the first time this school year and take the day off.
I was laying on my back sunbathing with Alice and Bea when James jumped on me, placing one knee either side of me so he was straddling me. He shoved his face over mine and grinned.
"Our detentions are at six. Nick just told me."
"You've got detention already?" Alice yelped at me as I shoved James off my lap. Instead, he settled himself in between my legs.
I know it's completely wrong to say this, and it should be considered almsot incest to say this because he's like my brother, or I think he is, but... well, it feels quite... nice having James between my legs...
OKAY NO I DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT AT ALL. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me at the moment. I'm all mixed up in my mind over how my relationship with James is and it's messing me up big style. I'm going to blame my decreasing mental state on James. It's his fault...
"Oh merlin! Lise did you really say that to Professor Waters?!" Alice squeaked, making me lose my thoughts. Alice was actually quite well behaved, considering she was friends with Fred and James, whose naughtiness tends to rub off on their friends a lot.
I grinned and nodded and Bea actually hugged me.
Keep in mind this is Bea, who is never into the whole hugging, affectionate sort of thing. Her mother is overly-affectionate and I'm sure it scarred her as a child. She literally hates touching people in an emotional way. If its physical, for example a bit of action with some guy she just met, she's all for it. But hugging her best friends? Not something Bea generally does.
"That is why I call you one of my best friends Lise! I've always wanted Professor Waters to be told that!"
"Um... Thanks Bea."
I couldn't decide whether to be happy that Bea confirmed we were best friends, or disturbed that my big gob is why she's friends with me. Did I want to know? Not really.
"Do you want to know why you're my best friend Lise?" James said from in between my legs, leaning back so his head rested on my belly.
"Sure" I looked meaningfully at Alice, I knew James would give me some cheeky or, (most likely) stupid answer.
"Because no other girl would swim in her underwear with me."
"James, you've had so many girls I'm sure none of them would have minded-"
"No Lise, you're missing the point. They'd have insisted on swimming naked" he emphasised the word and I burst into giggles.
"So thats why you know I'm your best friend? Because I don't go skinny dipping with you?"
"Yep. Although I can't say I wouldn't enjoy it."
I glanced at Alice who raised her eyebrows at me in a way that said she thought she knew something I didn't. I hated that look.
James stood up quickly with a wink and sauntered over to Fred. After a moment's silence I turned to Alice with a frown on my face.
"So what is it that you think you know that I don't know?"
She bit her lip, suppressing a smug smile.
"I know what she's going to say and you won't like it" Bea warned me from her sun spot a metre or so away from us.
"Alice, what is it?"
"Jamesfancies you!" she blurted out in a whisper. I nearly chocked on my own spit in shock. This would be a great moment for me to have had water in my mouth so I could spray it out in surprise all over Alice's smug smile.
"You're bonkers! Of course he doesn't!"
"It's the way he looks at you. And talks to you. Honestly Lise! It's so obvious! And he's always watching you! He's even looking at you right now."
I turned my head and sure enough James was staring right at me. He caught my gaze and grinned. I grinned back before hastily turning back to face Alice.
"He's still looking."
"No he's not."
"He is! God Lise, can't you see it yourself?!"
"He doesn't at all. We're best friends... we don't fancy each other!"
"Lise, she never said anything about you liking him?" Bea leant up once more and looked sternly at me.
"Oh my merlin!" Alice squealed and began to bounce up and down. "You like him!"
"Alice shut up! I do not!" I hissed.
She rolled her eyes at me. "Do too."
"You are so annoying Alice Duke!" I shrieked.
"You're so blind Anneliese Lynch!" she stuck her tounge out at me. I was just about to throw myself at her and start battering her like there's no tomorrow before a shadow fell on our sun spot.
"What're you two going on about?" James asked, his hands fumbling on his shirt buttons as he redressed himself.
"Nothing!" I said quickly, ignoring Alice's insufferable know-it-all smirk and jumping to my feet. I followed James' lead and began to pull my clothes back on.
"Ready for detention sweetie pie?" James simpered as he threw an arm around my shoulder. I stiffened before I sensed Alice's smug smile again so I decided to prove her utterly wrong. I relaxed into James' side like I normally do as we shouted our goodbyes and made our way back to the castle.
As we walked in a peaceful silence I watched James out of the corner of my eye. He wasn't looking at me, he was gazing out at the Lake beside us. Alice couldn't possibly be right in any way, James couldn't like me. To start off with, we'd always been like brother and sister, so why would that suddenly change? Our relationship had always been purely friendship, even though I had felt a difference today, I classed it as James' spontaneity. And anyway, even if we did ever become... you know... it would never work out. We'd drive each other mad.
"You know whats weird?" James suddenly muttered.
"What?" I asked as I shifted underneath his arm so look up at his face. He looked down and met my gaze with a fabulous grin.
"This morning I said I hated Mondays. But now I've had such a good day I like Mondays. Thanks Lise."
"What did I do?"
"Made my day" he replied with a gentle shrug of his shoulders as he softly kissed my forehead.
edited on 08/08/12 - I haven't changed that much, just a few descriptions and layouts :)