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Chapter 4: Crazy thoughts
Chapter 4: Crazy Thoughts
A/N: This was probably one of the hardest, but best chapters to write. I love this one. Please enjoy, and Review!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter. But I do have some awesome ideas that come up in this story :)
I tried to give Ron time alone with his family, but he insisted on bringing me along with him to pay respect to Fred with the rest of them. I would of course have done it alone because I still wasn't used to how the Wizarding community did funerals.
When I was little I went to a few for distant family members it seemed a lot more personal. What I mean is, it was only family.
Here there seemed to be everybody. Ron seemed to really need me with him though, as my hand felt like it was getting a bit crushed by his. I could see tears constantly going down his face as he had his arm around his mother who was crying into his chest. All in all though, even with all the grief around me, wizarding funerals (at least the one I went to for Dumbledore) have a more sociable feel to it.
Not that it wasn't personal to the people closest to the ones who died, but everybody would go to each other and consoled, and cried, and laughed of memories.
“Are funerals usually like this Ron?” I asked him.
He sniffed, “What do you mean?” he asked in a stuffy voice.
“I mean, it seems like everyone is looking out for each other, to make sure they're ok. Not just family. And-”
A loud bang interrupted my train of thought, and we saw fireworks shooting into the sky.
“George!!!!” We heard Mrs. Weasley yell, even while stuffed up.
Ron took one look at George, and put his hand on his mom's shoulder to get her attention. We looked over and expected to see George cowering from Mrs. Weasley or laughing at his joke, but instead, he seemed oblivious to her and everyone.
George, Lee Jordan, Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet, Katie Bell, and Oliver Wood were looking up to the sky with wistful smiles on their faces. Tears glistened on their faces in the light of the fireworks.
A great cry startled us out of the moment, “WWWAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!” I bounced Teddy up and down and put a muffliato charm around him that dulled the sound of the fireworks.
“Shhh, Teddy, it's alright. See? It's just pretty lights. Shhh.” He quieted down and soon started to enjoy himself.
I was looking after Teddy for Andromeda while she went to Tonks, and Lupin's grave by herself for a while. I thought it was the least I could do, with Harry and Ginny going all around to everyone else' graves and families. McGonagall and Shacklebolt both thought it was a better idea to put a small memorial/graveyard at Hogwarts for those who died in the battle.
I snuggled Teddy close and thought, none of my friends were too far away.
I wasn't sure how to react to all the grief around me, so I busied myself with Teddy and made sure he didn't fuss. I couldn't blame him for not loving the noise. Watching the fireworks became a good excuse to think about a bunch of different things while seeming to stare at them.
I held Teddy closer to me when I began thinking of my parents, and Crookshanks. I wanted nothing more right then than to be with them, to make sure they were ok. I knew I had to go soon, within the next couple of days even.
All of a sudden I saw Professor McGonagall rushing over in the direction of Harry and Ginny, looking frazzled. That pulled me from my thoughts like nothing else could have done. I'd never seen her like that before. She stopped, caught her breath, and told them whatever her news was.
Harry's jaw dropped. Ginny put her hand to her mouth. I was thinking it was a good thing they were in between people they were going to talk to, or else this would be really awkward. I wondered what was going on...
I jumped slightly when Andromeda came up behind me and touched my shoulder, “Oh, Hermione, thank you so much for watching him,” she said, her eyes red from crying. “I think we'll head back up to the castle for a nap now...”
I nodded, but vaguely even recognized they were gone when I saw both Harry and Ginny start to rush over to me and Ron.
I pulled on Ron's shirt, “Ron, something's up, look at Harry and Ginny”
“What? Oh, yeah, what the heck could be happening? Let’s go meet them half way. Mum, sorry, but we’re going to go see what's up.”
“Alright, as long as you tell me what it is later dear,” she said with tears still in her eyes.
He smiled weakly, “I will mum, bye.”
He kissed her head, quickly blew his nose, and we rushed over. “Harry, Ginny, what the bloody hell--?”
Harry was breathless by the time we met them, “There's someone McGonagall wants us to meet. She knew Sirius,” said Harry.
“But don't we already know everyone in the Order?” Asked Ron, puzzled.
I looked at him and rolled my eyes, “I don't think that's what he means Ron.”
Ginny had already started walking past them and towards the castle, “Come on, we'll tell you on our way to Dumble-- I mean, McGonagall's office.”
The Mystery Guest
Waiting in this office with these moving portraits was really weird. It'd been years since I'd seen any. It didn't help that I was so nervous I couldn't keep my leg from bouncing up and down. What are these people going to say? Would they be mad? No, the way Sirius had spoken, they'd probably just be shocked.
Before I told myself for the millionth time not to get my hopes up about him, the door finally opened. Professor McGonagall was followed by the 4 people she said were coming. My son was deep asleep in his trolley which was good, I didn't know how he'd be if he were awake. I don't think I could handle both whatever news I'd be getting, and deal with a 3 year old right now
The Professor stopped in front of me and turned to the others, “Mrs. Cora McKinnon Black, I'd like you to meet Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. All of them were rather close to Sirius” she explained.
They all looked like goldfish as their mouths dropped open, “What?!!” Ron and Hermione exclaimed.
I opened my mouth to say something, but was cut off.
“Wait, Mrs.??” Asked who I thought must be Harry, from how Sirius described him.
I blushed slightly and looked down into my lap, “Yes, it was very rushed, but he was leaving the country and didn’t know when he’d be back... I couldn’t let him go without marrying him. It turned out to be a good thing because then I could pass on the name.”
Hermione looked down at Sirius James and back at me and stuttered, “Wait... that isn't--?”
I smiled, “Our son? Yes... unfortunately I was never able to tell him since he was on the run.” I swallowed and gathered my courage and asked what I’d been wanting to for years, “When could I get in touch with him?” Once the question was out, I couldn’t help but ramble, I asked Harry, “You are his Godson aren't you? And speaking of, I thought it was only fitting that you be Sirius James Godfather Harry, if you don't mind...”
He blinked in surprise. He looked happy, but behind it was something else, something I tried not to think about.
Harry said, “No, of course I don't. I'd to. As for Sirius though...”
“Hold on,” I stopped him and put up a charm around my son. If the news was good or bad, I didn't want him waking up. Even though he’s a pretty sound sleeper… like his father. Anyway, I was sure I'd scream either way. I took a deep breath and said, “Alright, go ahead.”
Harry looked very pained, “I'm very sorry to tell you. But he was killed 2 years ago. I'm sorry I couldn't lighten the blow any. It's been hard...”
I couldn't help it. I tried to prepare myself, but I sobbed uncontrollably. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t get enough air. Somebody came over and gave me a hug and I clung onto them.
I saw long red hair, and short black hair, and almost thought it could have been Sirius's best friends he'd talk to me about. I knew it couldn't be, and being reminded again that I wasn't going to see him again, I sobbed even harder.
When my cries seemed to quiet I heard the Professor ask in a husky voice, “Harry, Ginny, will you please take Mrs. Black to the Hospital Wing?” She cleared her throat and her voice became stronger, “Poppy will be able to give her something to calm her down. Ron, Hermione, please watch after young Sirius James here, and bring him up to Gryffindor tower, you can meet up with Mrs. Black there after she's calmed down.”
I hardly even heard what she was saying, but let myself be led out of the room in a daze. What the bloody hell was going on? I knew the odds were against Sirius. I'm usually a tough young woman. Now I'm acting like I never have before. Even when my parents and brother were killed recently from someone who randomly robbed our shop back home, I didn’t cry this hard. I had a toddler to take care of. Since I had no one else there, I came back to England as soon as I could, went to Diagon Alley, found a newspaper and the headlines told me all I needed to know.
As I walked through the corridors with Harry and Ginny I stopped crying so hard, but was still in a daze as I thought of what led me here. Maybe it was the combination of losing Sirius all over again, and my family that got me out of control. Plus, the people here were kind enough to take care of my son. I didn't have anyone like that while I was packing, and arranging a Floo, Portkeys were too still dangerous for Sirius James. I was lucky to have my Macaws, Orchid and Blossom, to deliver letters to the Wizarding world or else I'd have to try to move by muggle transportation.
Next thing I knew, I was in the Hospital Wing and an older woman was telling me to drink something which I numbly took.
I nearly gagged, “BLAEHHHH!! What the bloody hell is that?” Well, that certainly shocked me enough to get the horrible thoughts I had just been having out of my head for a little while. I coughed and sputtered…
She rolled her eyes at me, and I saw Harry and Ginny grin. The woman explained, “A Calming Drought... Why does everyone expect these potions to taste good? You know, I can definitely picture you with Mr. Black, he always had the same reaction when I made him take potions for whatever incidents he'd get himself in with Mr. Potter, and the rest of them.”
I got silent again. Then it occurred to me I never asked how it happened, and maybe there was some revenge I'd be able to take... I looked into my lap, a rising anger took the place of grief and I whispered, “How did it happen Harry? And is the bastard still alive?”
“Yes, definitely someone Sirius would have been drawn to...” Poppy said vaguely.
A voice answered vehemently, “Bitch, actually” only it was Ginny who answered. “We were at the Ministry of Magic, a few years ago.” Her voice softened considerably and I looked up at her.
“Voldemort tricked Harry into thinking Sirius was being tortured to get him to go there to get this Prophecy made about Voldemort and Harry. Sirius came to rescue Harry, but was killed by his cousin who was a Death Eater. She was killed last week by my mum actually” she finished very proudly.
I nodded, “Good,” still, I was disappointed that I couldn’t do it myself, but at least someone did.
Harry still looked miserable and lost in his thoughts as much as I was so I turned to him and said, “Merlin Harry, I'm so sorry you lost him so soon after having found him. It must have been just as hard on you” I opened my arms to offer him a hug, and, to my surprise, he went willingly. We both needed it I guess because when I pulled away I felt a little better.
Closing my eyes, I could almost remember the look on Sirius’s face when he’d talk about him, “When I knew him the summer he was with me, almost all he could talk about was you, and how happy he was that you knew he was innocent, and was able to spend any time with you. He loved you. And that's part of the reason why I loved him. Because he never gave up on his friends. He didn't want to give up on me either.” Another tear rolled down my cheek and Harry moved towards me again and we hugged. It had been so long since I had anyone to lean on so I hugged him a little harder, and I couldn't help but start crying again.
Emotion made his voice thick and croaky but he said, “I feel so lucky to meet you now. So many people have died last week, including another friend of my parents Remus. He was the last of their true friends to be alive, and now he's gone too. Now that you and your son are here, it's good to know that a bit of Sirius lives on too; just as Remus's son, my other Godson, lives on in him. Now, I have two Godsons!” He smiled widely, and so did Ginny next to him.
I looked at them, so grateful to have friends who cared about me already and gave them a watery smile back, “Are you two married? Because I'm sure Sirius James will need a God mother.”
They both blushed, and Harry cleared his throat and said bashfully, “Not yet, but someday soon I hope, right Ginny?”
At the same time Ginny, who wasn't paying attention to Harry, said, “I'd love to!!! How old is he? He's adorable by the way.”
“He's three, and thank you” I said with a large smile. Looking at the two of them, I could tell that moving back here was a great idea. Maybe the Calming Drought was working, or maybe it was their cheerfulness at finding another connection with Sirius. Whatever it was, I was feeling much more like myself. Grief was still lingering, like the smell of shampoo after Sirius James’ bath.
Listening to Harry and Ginny chat, I started feeling drowsy and laid my head down on a very suitable looking pillow. While my eyelids drooped closed, I couldn't help but wonder what the rest of the day would bring.
Ron's Point of view
After Harry and Ginny left with Sirius's wife... Wow, I couldn't get over that. The next thing I knew I was being told to carry their kid's trolley. It floated in front of me with Hermione carrying Sirius James and on our way to Gryffindor Tower. Merlin my head hurt.
I mean, of all things I thought today was going to be, it wasn't this. I thought it would just be full of hurt, tears, and whatever else was going on in my head. And it was. Losing Fred was hard enough to understand, as it is. I didn't know how I was supposed to help look after a little kid too.
I'm glad Hermione seemed to be a natural. He was sound asleep on her shoulder. My heart gave a little lurch. I imagined how wonderful Hermione would be as a mother. Merlin... How could I have all these thoughts going around my head at once?? I am supposed to have the emotional range of a teaspoon.
“Ron? Are you ok? You've been really quiet,” she whispered since she was holding Sirius James.
I rubbed my head absentmindedly, “My head hurts. All of this happening today... it's almost too much to cope with.”
She looked sympathetic, “Once we get to the Common room, try holding Sirius James. It feels good to just think about something else for a little while. You can't help it when you hold this little guy. But when you feel ready to talk, just tell me ok? I'll need you to talk to too when things calm down.”
I looked over at Hermione, she's just so pretty, and looked so worried about me... My heart melted. I'd do anything for this girl.
Which reminded me, “Right, because we need to talk about when we can go find your parents huh? And don't worry Hermione, I'll talk about Fred soon. I just don't know where to start yet.”
We reached the Portrait hole, which just let us in.
I was just putting the trolley in the corner when Hermione, who was by the sofas, said, “Ok, sit down Ron.”
I blanched. I was really hoping she wasn’t going to remember, but I should have known better.
Stuttering, I reluctantly sat on the couch after she gave me a look that was non-negotiable, “Really Hermione, I don't think this is going to work—” she ignored me and put the small boy on my lap anyway.
She was about to put my arms where they were supposed to, but I somehow beat her to it.
She smiled, “See? It's a natural thing.”
“What happens when he--?” My question was about to be answered when the boy started to wake up.
His eyes opened, and sat up immediately. Looked up at me and Hermione and yelled “MUUUUUUUMMM?!!!”
Starting to panic, I tried reassuring him, “Uhh, shhh, shhh, hey little guy. Calm down. Listen a sec” I tried to tell him as he tried to squirm off my lap.
Then, in all his kicking, his foot hit where nothing really should hit.... Bloody, little bugger of a...
Hermione gasped, “Ron!!”
Crap, I guess I said that out loud. I wanted to say something, but I nothing would come out…
Hermione glared at me a little, but then got on a knee and looked the boy in the eye, “Listen, Sirius James, we're your mum's friends. She'll be back soon, we're looking after you buddy” Hermione told him.
He still looked unsure “Where am I?”.
I pulled myself together, “One of the funnest places ever, the Gryffindor Common room at Hogwarts,” I said, not wanting him to think I was totally out of the picture. I was still hurting pretty bad, but tried not to show it... Ow.
“Ok, to prove it. What kind of fun thing would you want to do right now?” Hermione asked him.
He thought for a minute and seemed to decide we were ok. “Tag! Your it!” He shouted and tagged Hermione.
I was flabbergasted. What kind of game is that?? Hermione apparently knew 'cause she started chasing the kid all over the room until she tagged him... ok, I got it now... it was still pretty silly but... He came over and tagged me.
“You’re It!!” He giggled loudly and ran away. I seemed to be ok now, so I said
“Ok, watch out, I'm gonna get you!”
This lasted at least 20 minutes until my parents came in and saw Hermione trying to catch me and Sirius James. We were all laughing our heads off, and, not looking where I was going, nearly crashed into my dad.
“Ron, who is this little boy? Where did he come from?” asked my mother.
The boy looked up at her and said “I'm Sirius James, who are you? And where did you come from?”
I couldn't help but laugh so hard I doubled over. This was officially the craziest day ever.
A/N: lol, I love that last part if you ask me. Ok please tell me how you liked this chapter. I have no way of knowing if I Did something wrong if you don't review ;) Thanks, I'll update soon :)