You are viewing a story from harrypotterfanfiction.com
View Online | Printer Friendly Version of Entire Story
Chapter 11: Lily's Conflictions, James's Snogs
I awoke in a blur the next morning, unsure of my surroundings, and I woke up to find my blanket so twisted up against my body that I could hardly move. I spent about five minutes trying to maneuver myself out, before I remembered everything that happened last night. Gregory asking me out, rounds with James, James almost kissing me…and me not stopping him.
I blushed at the thought, and rolled out of my bed to see that Mary, Alice, and Bianca were already awake. They were already almost dressed actually, and I hurried to dress as quickly as I could. When I was done, all girls were impatiently waiting for me. Mary looked as beautiful as ever, the fact I attributed to her first date of the school year. She had only had one serious boyfriend, and they lasted for five months last year, but other than that, Mary didn’t date much, so I found this as a surprise.
Alice and Bianca always looked pretty, even Alice with her short chocolate brown, “pixie” hair cut. Bianca’s hair was in natural curls I would have killed for, but other than that we all looked gorgeous.
We all walked down to the Great Hall, to see that half the school was already eating. We sat in our usual spot, and started to eat. It took about 10 minutes before any of the marauders arrived. When they did arrive, they were dressed as dapper as ever, and Sirius looked like he just wanted to go back to bed, James was wide awake, and unexpectedly…happy.
I brushed it off, and ignored him the rest of breakfast. By the time breakfast was over, Gregory had walked over to me, and took me by the arm. It was all very chivalrous, but I took no notice. As we walked out the Great Hall, I gave one sparing glance behind me, as if looking at my surroundings.
I saw the one thing I never expected to see: James had taken some girls hand, and led her out of her seat. In truth: I was disappointed. I had expected James to overreact, throw a fit about my date with Kirk. But James was being very nonchalant about all this and it vexed me. It was as if a part of me missed arguing with him, a part of me missed his overreacting, part of me missed him. I almost felt like he didn’t care about me, and it upset me…and that terrified me.
The fact that I was actually caring what James thought scared me the most. Before, I could tell easily how James felt; whether he was angry with me (though he rarely was), or “in love” with me, or just simply happy to be in my presence. The point was, I could read him like a book, but now…I don’t know. I never know what he’s thinking about, how he feels about me, or even if he still wants me.
On one hand I didn’t want him to, but on the other hand I wanted him to show that he cared, so that everything would be easy. Now, everything was suddenly complicated, and it both intrigued and frustrated me. I cared about James, and I cared about our friendship. I hated that I cared. I wanted to go back to hating him…but this new James was almost…loveable (though in the adorable, friendly type of love…because I could never love James). Worst of all, I didn’t know if James liked me anymore…it had been a couple months since he said he liked me.
I walked towards Hogsmeade with Gregory, rarely a word spoken between us until we reached our destination. It was a terribly awkward silence and the only sound were the fallen leaves under us, hidden under a thin layer of snow. As we arrived at the Three Broomsticks, Gregory ordered us butterbeers and found us a table. He was very chivalrous, but honestly it bored me.
“You look lovely today Lily.” I smiled, acknowledging the compliment, and looked up to him with happy eyes.
“So how much ‘ave I missed in two years? Are you still Potter’s girl?” Instead of being offended like I usually was, I found it humorous, I laughed it off.
“I never was Gregory. Thankfully…J-Potter hasn’t asked me out all year, I think he’s finally over me.” Greg looked at me with a smile, and his hand went from his mouth to the table, only a few inches from mine.
“Good…you need someone better.” For some reason I was offended by this statement, but I hid it, “And I’d expect so, he made a big show of telling everybody who would hear that he had a date to Hogsmeade…that wasn’t you.”
I chuckled a little, and I finally realized why James wasn’t upset. He had somehow already found out, and asked somebody else out in an attempt to make me “jealous”. “Typical James…I wouldn’t expect any less.”
“I erm…I heard a rumor about him…actually…it involves you.” He mumbled, and I looked at him skeptically.
“Do tell?” I said in a humored voice, hoping that it wouldn’t be as bad as expected.
“Well, I heard that you and James are friends…close friends? Some of them were evern saying that you two were dating...but apparently not.”
“What are you insinuating Greg?” I narrowed my eyes, hating where this was going.
“I…well…I’ve seen you guys around. It’s just…do you like James…as more?”
I blushed, for some unknown reason. James felt like my brother now, it almost seemed weird to even consider it, “I...” I paused; I couldn’t say it, “Why would you even ask me that Greg?”
He took the hint, but had a disappointed look on his face, “It’s just…I was curious is all…but Lily…I-um…I have something I want to tell you.”
“Okay,” I smiled, eager, especially happy we were off that particular topic. I took a fleeting glance behind me, wondering how James’s date was going, it had to have been interesting, but not many people had arrived yet.
“I…I knew we said we were going as friends…but,” he paused, and I knew immediately where he was going with this. I heard a familiar laughter, and I looked behind to see James smiling eager at his date, I frowned.
“I thought we were just friends, Greg.” I narrowed my eyes again, looking back at Greg.
“So did I…it’s just…I really like you Lily. I regret ditching you, because, if I hadn’t, we might have been together.” I felt honored, but I suddenly had a grave feeling, remembering James’s words last night. “I bet he’ll be begging for a snog by the end of the date.” I hated the thought that he was right, but I wasn’t going to let it get me down. Why wouldn’t a relationship with Gregory work out, I didn’t see any reason.
“I suppose…it’s not a bad thought,” I mumbled, and his hand reached over to grasp mine. Sadly I felt nothing, but I attributed it to my being numb from the cold.
“Lily…can I…can I kiss you?” It was so quiet, so nervous, that I almost forgot that this was Gregory asking, because I had never seen him this nervous.
“I suppose,” I wasn’t exactly jumping at the idea, but it could never hurt. He leaned forward, over our table, and I didn’t establish that we were kissing until a second later, and his hand brushed my cheek. I felt his tongue brush against my lips, but my mouth stayed shut. He stopped abruptly, frustrated, mostly because I wasn’t responding. Everything was moving incredibly fast for me, but what shocked me the most, the entire kiss I felt nothing. Not a single spark.
A barkeep brought us our drinks, and I smiled forcefully at Gregory. Curiously, I looked over at James, he was speaking with his date, but he was staring right at me. He looked incredibly hurt.
The rest of the date went by sourly, and it was painfully obvious that I could never date Gregory. I walked through the pub, looking for Mary, because I knew she would be here.
Nonchalantly, I walked past James’s table, and I found a sight I never expected to see. The small petite blonde was wrapped by James’s arms, and her lips did not seem to want to separate from James’s anytime soon. It was the strangest sight, I had never seen him show any sort of affection to any other girl, and frankly I was a little hurt.
But I didn’t know why it hurt me, especially since I should have been mad at James for being right about my date. But I sighed, realizing that maybe James was really over me. It had to have taken a lot of effort for James to craft something as twisted as this, so it had to be real. I croaked the only thing that I could think of, “James?”
His head turned instantly at my voice, and I blushed as he looked at me with a flushed face. He had a smug grin plastered. I wanted to be angry, but I didn’t know why. There was only one thought going through my mind, and I hated the thought: James found someone else, to make him happy. Merlin, I hope it doesn’t last long.
A/N: Thank's for the reviews guys :)