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Chapter 10: Pessimistic Poopyheads, Twin Radars, and Dom’s Sandwich of Death
hark! a chapter! and not just a chapter - a long chapter!
“What. The. Fuck.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself, Dom. Could not have said it better myself.
My jaw dropped open in blatant disbelief as I watched the girl run her hands through his crazy mop of black hair. His hands were around her back.
“When did this happen?” I demanded, turning to Scorp and Rose, who were both looking on, disgusted.
“Right after the match. She sort of just…” Rose waved her hands around helplessly, trying to find words to describe it.
“Jumped him.” Scorpius inserted for her. “She turned him around, grabbed his head and started snogging his face off.”
“That is revolting.” I said distastefully, not even bothering to glance back and identify the sucking sounds coming from behind me. Trust me, I know what they are. And I don’t prefer seeing.
“Didn’t know Al had it in him, actually.” Scorp said thoughtfully, glancing at them, wincing, and quickly looking away again.
“But – but – it’s…it’s…her.” I cried desolately.
“Yeah, I know. I hate Nicole Winfield too, but…face it, Al’s a bloke and Nicole’s got boobs, a butt and enjoys snogging him; who is he to complain?” Rose shrugged.
“But she’s horrible.” I exclaimed, as if they didn’t already know that themselves.
“Oh, we know. She tormented Rose for most of her life, remember Rosie?”
“I’d rather not think about it.” Rose scowled at Scorpius.
“But that was the best prank ever.” He said, grinning.
“Oh, yeah. The pranking was pretty awesome.” Rose admitted, a smirk unfurling over her features. “That part, I don’t mind remembering; everything else…I’d rather not think about it.”
“Wasn’t she the one who made you cry all the time?” Dom asked, shuddering slightly as the snogging intensified.
“Yep.” Rose said brightly. “But we got her in the end.”
“I vaguely recall something about a new hairdo.” I raised my eyebrow at her, and she high-fived Scorpius.
“That was my masterpiece. All those spikes and colors…”Rose trailed off, gazing happily out into space.
“It’s a shame she got rid of it.” Scorpius sighed. “It was such an improvement.”
“Oh, I have pictures. Tons of them.” Rose smiled. “That’s what you get for manipulating me, bitch.” She added, scowling at Al and Nicole’s general direction.
“And making you cry.” Scorpius added.
“And telling you your hair was bushy.” I said.
“And making all your friends hate you.” Dom scowled.
“And hexing me…repeatedly.” Rose said thoughtfully. “Oh, and she punched me once. In the nose. And she told me I was ugly. All the time. She still does.”
“You’re not ugly.” All three of us said at the same time.
Half of her mouth pulled up in a part smile. “Sure.” She muttered.
“She thinks she’s ugly.” I said in a bemused tone. “Rose, you’re gorgeous.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better. Because you have to.” Rose muttered, looking down at the floor and unconsciously tugging on her hair.
“Oi, Rose, I won.” Scorpius said suddenly, looking at her. I stared at him.
“Is now really the time?” I asked. What a tactless monkey.
Yes, I just called Scorpius Malfoy a tactless monkey. What are you going to do about it?
That’s right. Nothing. You know why?
Because I’m a Seer. And I know your future.
“Yay for you?” Rose said, looking confused.
“I won.” He repeated, raising an eyebrow significantly at her.
Her eyes widened. “Oh, come on, Scorp.” She whined.
“You have to do it.” He sang, beaming.
She pouted. “You suck. I was sure James was going to make the most goals.”
“But I wanted to win. So I did.” Scorp said proudly.
“Fine.” She sighed. “What do I have to do?”
“Go over there, pry Nicole off of Al, and bitch slap her. And then yell at her.”
Her eyes widened. “In front of everyone?”
“Yep.” He said smugly.
“But Scorpius.” She protested. “I can’t do that to someone! No matter how horrible that someone might be. Yeah, sure, I can anonymously give her a haircut, but no one saw that. That would be awful of me.”
“That’s just it, Rose. You’re too nice.” Scorp said.
“What’s wrong with being nice?” She asked indignantly.
“People like that,” He gestured to Nicole, who was still clinging on to Al. “Take advantage of you.”
“What am I supposed to say?” She finally asked in a cold voice, looking determinedly angry.
“Just let it all out, Rosie.” He patted her on the shoulder. “Yell and scream at her. Let all that frustration out.”
“Right.” Rose said. She cracked her knuckles – if I was Nicole, I would run – rotated her head, squared her shoulders, and marched over to Al and Nicole.
“She’s so hot.” Scorpius sighed, looking after her.
Dom smacked him upside the head. “Stop ogling her arse.”
“I was not – okay, yes I was.” He shrugged at our simultaneously raised eyebrows.
“Hey, what’s going – WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT KID DOING?!”
“Nice of you to join us, James.” Scorpius clapped him on the back while James spluttered at Al and Nicole. Rose was nearby, collecting herself, it seemed.
“Why in the name of Merlin is my little brother snogging that…that…”
“Monster?” I offered.
“Yes. Monster.” James asked in an appalled voice. “I thought the bloke was sensible!”
“Clearly, he isn’t.” Dom said.
“Want me to –” James started, looking livid.
“Nope, Rosie’s got it covered.” I beamed at the thought of our innocent sweet Rose going loco on Winfield.
“Really? Rose?” James said. “You’re sending Rose over there?”
“Yes, we are.” Dom grinned.
“The same Rose who tutored first years in the library even though they stink bombed her the day before?”
“The very same.”
“The same Rose who used to get bullied by that girl on a daily basis?”
“My sweet baby cousin Rose.”
“YES, JAMES. ROSE. WEASLEY.”
“Right. Well, Scorp will stun Winfield first, and then Nikki and Artemis can take Rose to the hospital wing while I beat up Al.” James decided, nodding.
“Stop being such a pessimistic poopyhead, James.” Dom scowled at him.
“A pessimistic poopyhead?” Scorpius echoed incredulously. “Really, Dom?”
“Yes. Shut up.”
“She’s going!” I said excitedly. Her eyes hard and her jaw locked, Rose marched forward so that she stood in front of Al and Nicole, hands on her hips.
“Oh, this is going to be good.” Scorpius whispered elatedly.
Rose raised her wand, and with a resounding BANG, Al and Nicole flew apart. Al staggered back, eyes wide, while Nicole fell to the ground and glared up at Rose.
“You’re going to die later.” Rose told Al brightly, and he gulped.
“And you.” Rose turned to Nicole, her mouth curled into a disgusted sneer. “Get up. Now.”
Nicole stood up and tossed her blonde hair back, hands on her hips. “Yeah? What are you going to do, huh, Weasley?”
“This.” Rose said. And, putting her wand back in her pocket, she stepped forward, cocked her elbow, and punched Nicole straight in the face.
“Her expression is priceless.” I beamed happily. “Someone, take a picture!”
“You bitch!” Nicole screamed, clutching her bleeding nose.
“Oh, wow! You’re so original, Winfield!” Rose hissed, her blue eyes flashing in anger.
“Fuck off, Weasley. Get your ugly face out of my sight.” Nicole sneered, attempting to fix up her nose. Meanwhile, Al started backing away, eyes wide.
“You know what, Winfield?” Rose said in a menacing voice. “I don’t think I will. You don’t control me.”
“I hate you, Weasley.” Nicole snarled. “You better watch it.”
“Yeah, well I loathe you. You need to jump off the astronomy tower and just kill yourself. Seriously, the world will become a better place without you wasting our precious oxygen. The day you finally die, about half the school will throw a party in celebration of the fact that you are no longer befouling the planet with your existence! I don’t think there’s a single other person on this planet that I hate more than you!” Rose yelled.
“You think you’re so hot, with your little skirts and tight tops, but you know what? The whole school sees you as nothing more than a prostitute of some sort! You’re easy, and you’ve got no self-respect for yourself. So, before you start making fun of someone who is clearly above you, maybe you should do something about your pitiful reputation. You’re a disgrace to humanity, Winfield. I hope you’re happy with yourself, bitch.”
Rose stopped yelling, her chest heaving and her blue eyes electrifying. Her hair was whipping around her head like fire, and her cheeks were flushed pink. In that instant, she looked more beautiful and terrifying than ever.
“I think I’m in love.” Scorpius got out in a strangled whisper.
Suddenly, there was a bang! and Nicole’s hair turned bright pink. She immediately burst into tears and started backing up into the girls’ dormitory.
“That’s what you get for attacking me, bitch.” Al said furiously, his wand raised. Rose’s eyes grew.
“She attacked you?!”
“She hexed me so that I wouldn’t know what I was doing.” Al said. “You think I’d voluntarily snog her?”
“Yes, but you proved me wrong!” Rose beamed at him, and he chuckled and engulfed her in a hug.
“You were fabulous, Rosie.”
“Thanks.” She said shyly. “I’m sorry I said I’ll kill you.”
“Please tell me someone recorded that or something.” I breathed. “I don’t ever want to forget that memory.”
Rose turned to Scorpius, eyebrow raised expectantly. “Well?”
“Can I snog you now?” Scorpius asked in a dazed voice.
He received two rather hard slaps from Al and James.
“Just kidding.” He muttered, rubbing the back of his head and glaring at Al. Rose grinned.
They want each other. Bad.
“It’ll be four months soon.” Was the first thing that Dom told me when I woke up the next morning. She was beaming, her eyes sparkling.
“Are you showing yet?” I asked eagerly, sitting up in bed and completely forgetting my usual morning ritual of moaning and groaning for a good three hours before I finally got out of bed.
She nodded. “Yeah. See?” She lifted up her shirt and pointed to the bump on her stomach. I reached forward and tentatively touched the bump.
“Wow.” I whispered, biting my lip and smiling at Dom.
“I know.” She whispered back, beaming. “I can’t believe I have a little baby in there.”
“Me neither. How are you feeling?”
“Incredibly alive.” Dom said, breathing out. Her face was glowing with excitement.
“IS THAT A BUMP?!” Ella shrieked, jumping on my bed, eyes wide.
“Yes it is. Baby Dom is in there.” I grinned, allowing Ella to pat the bump. Dom sat there, beaming with happiness.
“Wow!” Ella squealed, jumping up and down on her knees. The bed wobbled. “This is so exciting!”
“Let’s go show James!” Dom grabbed my hand and towed me out of the room.
“Hold up there, Princess.” I dragged us to a halt. “Have you told your parents yet?”
“FUCKERMUFFINS!” Dom screamed, sprinting down the stairs. I cursed loudly as I stumbled over the stone steps, trying to shake her off of me.
She started pulling me to the owlery, but I tugged her towards McGonagall’s office. “You’ve got to actually talk to them, Dom.”
“What?” She squeaked, stopping abruptly. “They’ll kill me!”
“Sucks to be you!” I sang, dragging on her hand again. She reluctantly followed. “You still have to tell them!”
“GARRR-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Dom wailed, stomping along like a child. “Artemiiiis, I don’t waaaannaaaa.”
“Tough.” I said, stopping in front of the statue. “Dumbledore.” I added, and it sprung aside. I shoved Dom up the staircase, muttering angrily about childish idiots, and knocked on Professor McGonagall’s door.
“Come in.” She said, and I opened the door, towing Dom after me.
“Wow.” I gasped, forgetting, for a second, my purpose for being there as I took in the large, circular room.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” McGonagall asked me, and I turned to look at her, surprised that she was smiling.
Wow. McGonagall used to be pretty once upon a time. Just get a load of that smile.
“Very.” I breathed, and even Dom let out a whimper that sounded vaguely like agreement.
“So, how can I help you girls?” McGonagall folded her hands as she sat behind the desk. Dumbledore’s portrait – DON’T LAUGH, ARTEMIS – twinkled down happily at us.
“Dom’s pregnant.” I announced bluntly, and Dom viciously elbowed me in the side.
McGonagall stared at us a moment. “Miss Weasley? You’re pregnant?”
“Erm – yes?” Dom confirmed in a small voice, looking down in shame. “I’m sorry, Professor, I didn’t mean to –”
“Nonsense, Miss Weasley. Everyone’s bound to get pregnant one time or another. You were just a bit early. Now, how many months has it been?” Professor asked briskly.
Dom looked partially relieved. “Four months.”
“Alright. We’ll need to get you checked with Madame Pomphery, make sure that everything is normal.” McGonagall nodded. “I don’t mean to pry, Miss Weasley, but would you be able to tell me who the father of the child is?”
Dom gulped, and her eyes filled with tears as she looked at the floor. “I – he –”
“My brother.” I inserted calmly, looking up at her. “Apollo Jones.”
McGonagall blinked, and for a second, she looked shocked. Then her face was carefully smooth again. “Ah. Your best friend’s twin brother. Smart of you, Dominique.”
Dom grinned sheepishly. “Heh.”
“Have you told him yet?” She asked.
“Yeah. He – he didn’t take it so well.” Dom mumbled, and I looked away.
McGonagall blinked. “Your family?” She plowed on.
“Erm, well – that was what we came here for…I sort of wanted to talk to them about it in person, you see.” Dom bit her lip, and McGonagall nodded.
“Of course. Step right here, we’ll floo you over. Would you like to go as well, Miss Jones?”
“Yes.” Dom said before I could open my mouth and decline. I glared at her. I don’t want to go to her house! What if I get killed by her parents? I am, after all, the twin sister of the idiot who went and impregnated their precious daughter. What if they decide that by hurting me, pain will inevitably befall Apollo as well? What if Mr. Weasley sprouts into a full grown werewolf just so that he can attack me?! OF COURSE THAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME.
“No way,” I whispered furiously. “They’ll destroy me.”
“Why would they do that?” Dom asked, surprised.
“Well, Apollo’s my twin brother.” I explained. “They probably wouldn’t want to see me right now.”
“Artemis, you fucking imbecile.” Dom snapped. “You really think that in a family as large as mine, my parents would believe in blaming siblings for the actions of their sibling?”
“Um, well…I guess not.” I said reluctantly.
“Exactly.” She nodded. “And you have to come with me; I need you.” Her blue eyes grew large and beseeching.
I groaned. “I hate it when you do that!”
“So, is that a yes?” She asked.
“Fine.” I sighed.
“I love you!”
I grumbled unhappily and clambered into the fireplace beside her.
“Shell Cottage!” She said, dropping the floo powder. With a burst of emerald, we were off, spinning through the flames. I squeezed my eyes shut, thoroughly not enjoying the feeling of travel via fireplace. Then with another burst of emerald, we were standing in Dom’s fireplace, her sister and Teddy gaping at us.
“Dom?” Victoire asked blankly, quickly pulling her hand out of Teddy’s. “What are you doing here?”
“Is everything okay, Dom?” Teddy demanded.
“Oh, hey, guys!” I said loudly. “Nice of you to notice me here.”
“Missy! Didn’t see you there!” Teddy said joyfully, and I scowled.
Gee, I sure do love being invisible.
“Hey, Missy.” Victoire smiled at me, and I grinned back.
“Tori.” I said, raising my eyebrow meaningfully at Teddy. Victoire blushed and bit her lip to hide her bright smile.
“You’re finally together, aren’t you?” Dom asked, catching our exchange.
Teddy grinned. “Yeah.”
“About time. I was getting tired of all the fighting.” Dom rolled her eyes. “Um, well, are Maman and Papa home? I sort of need to talk to them, and…all of you, actually, about…something.”
She suddenly looked extremely nervous, and Victoire shot her an odd look before getting up and gracefully leaving the room in order to fetch Dom’s parents.
“What’s going on, Dom?” Teddy asked her.
“You’ll find out soon.” Dom whispered, wringing her hands.
“Is everything okay?” Teddy turned to me.
“You’ll find out soon, Ted.” I said, glancing at Dom’s face as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley stepped in the room. They were both beaming as they came forward to embrace me and Dom.
“So, what brings you here, sweetheart?” Mr. Weasley asked after he was done hugging me.
Dom gulped and shot me a pleading look; I shrugged helplessly. “Um – well, I –” She took a deep breath, looking stricken.
Mr. and Mrs. Weasley exchanged a nervous glance. “You can tell me anything, ma cherie.” Mrs. Weasley said soothingly, and Dom burst into tears.
“What, what did I say?” Mrs. Weasley asked frantically, coming forward to scoop Dom into a hug. But Dom pushed her gently away.
“I have to tell you guys. Please, just…just give me a minute.” She took a breath. “Okay. Okay. Mom, dad…”
She took another deep breath and looked at me. I nodded encouragingly.
“Mom, Dad…I’m pregnant.” Her eyes were tightly closed by the end of this.
I gulped and looked around for a table to hide under. Maybe if I try hard enough, I’ll just blend into the wall. Or disappear altogether.
“What?” Mr. Weasley asked blankly. “You’re pregnant?”
Dom nodded, tears streaming down her face. “I’m sorry, Daddy, I wasn’t thinking, and…”
“Oh, Dominique!” Mrs. Weasley swept forward and hugged Dom tightly, cutting off what she had to say. “My poor baby! Pregnant! It’s a little early, I’ll give you that, but, darling, there’s no need to be afraid of us! We’re your parents. Nous t’adorons, ma petit chou.”
“Oh, thank God.” Dom sobbed. “I thought you were going to kill me.”
“We would never!” Mr. Weasley kissed her forehead. “The boy, on the other hand…we may not spare. Though I’m sure your cousins already took care of him.”
“Who’s the father, Dom?” Victoire asked gently.
Dom looked at me.
“Her?” Teddy asked in disbelief. My mouth dropped open.
“Not her, you prat!” Victoire slapped his arm. “What are you thinking?!”
“Right, sorry.” He muttered, looking embarrassed.
“It’s, er…my brother.” I muttered, tugging uncomfortably on one of my curls. “Apollo.”
The kitchen was silent.
“You’re pregnant with your best friend’s twin brother’s child?” Victoire asked Dom incredulously. “Could you get any stupider than that?”
Teddy nudged Victoire and shook his head while Dom’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry!” She wailed, and I winced at the volume of her voice. “It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done! And now they all hate each other, and I just alienated Artemis from her only family! I’m the worst best friend ever!”
I swallowed. “Dom, it’s really –”
“IT’S ALL MY FAULT!” Dom screeched, and with a loud wail, she promptly launched herself into my arms and then proceeded to bawl into my hair.
“Dom…er, stop crying…” I said awkwardly, patting her cautiously on the head as she continued to sob loudly. I winced as a particularly loud howl sounded right in my ear.
“Someone, help me.” I squeaked, looking at her family; but they were all frozen, staring at us in shock.
Lovely. Just leave poor defenseless me to fend for myself, why don’t you? I mean, it’s not as if I’m getting bloody attacked by my blubbering best friend or anything. By all means, please continue to stand there and gaze blankly at us while she cries on me. My eardrums are perfectly fine, thank you very – OH DEAR MERLIN, DON’T JUST STAND THERE AND WATCH, YOU IMBECILES.
Dom drew a couple of deep, shuddering breaths and noisily wiped her nose off on her sleeve. “Sorry.” She muttered thickly at me.
“It’s alright.” I replied weakly, still trying to recover the use of my right ear.
“Dominique, Princess, what happened?” Mr. Weasley asked cautiously, blatantly ignoring my furious signals to not bring that up.
I yelped and quickly ducked behind Victoire as Dom let out another wail and attempted to fling herself at me again. Victoire caught her instead, looking startled and slightly mortified as she tried to soothe Dom.
Damn you, pregnancy hormones.
“Er…so, I’m taking it didn’t go that well.” Teddy muttered.
“No shit.” Dom’s muffled voice snapped back.
“Language, Dominique.” Mrs. Weasley said absently, turning to me. “Artemis, dear, what happened?”
“My brother is a fucktard.” I said brightly. “And I am going to kill him.”
“Oh, dear.” Mrs. Weasley replied faintly, taking in my forced smile. “That bad?”
“Mmm-hmmm. He declared that he wants nothing to do with the baby or Dominique. I am so proud to call him my brother!” I cried happily, fighting back the urge to pull a Dom and launch myself into Teddy’s arms, wailing and sniveling like a little baby.
I have to be the strong one here. I’m Dom’s protector. She made that clear with the way she stands when she’s with me – slightly behind, her shoulder just touching mine. It’s like she needs that touch as proof, proof that I’m there for her and that she isn’t just living a nightmare where she’s all alone.
I would never leave her alone. Ever.
“I’ll kill him.” Mr. Weasley snarled, picking up a fork and holding it threateningly.
Oh dear God, I think I just pissed myself.
I gulped. “That won’t be necessary Mr. Weasley. He’s pretty beat up about it.”
I winced as his grip tightened. “How do you know that?” He demanded.
He’s starting to look wolfy. I AM GOING TO DIE.
“Er…I don’t?” I offered. “It’s just that…well, he’s still my brother, and I think I would prefer it if –”
“He’s the only family she has, Dad.” Dom said, finally having managed to get a grip on herself. “I already took that away from her once…you can’t take it away from her again. This is my fault.”
I swallowed thickly and looked down. “Don’t be stupid, Dominique.” I muttered. “He’s the idiot who left.”
“Because of my mistake.”
“It’s not a mistake.” I snapped, looking up at her with fierce eyes. “A baby is not a mistake, okay, Dom?”
She looked taken aback. “I didn’t mean it like –”
“Yeah, well…I just thought I should make that clear. Having a baby isn’t a mistake. Don’t ever say that again.” I fought against the lump in my throat, but a tear managed to fall down my face. “If the kid ever hears you one day, she’ll never be able to look at you the same way again. She’ll start to think that maybe she is a mistake. She’ll think that she’s a freak, that no one wants her.”
Dom gaped at me.
Another tear rolled down my face. “And then she’ll feel like she has no one left. Because there’s no one out there who cares for her. And when the world has given up on her, who is she to fight that?”
I closed my eyes, letting another tear drop. “That’s not fair.” I whispered. “No one should have to feel that way.”
“I am so sorry, Artemis.” Dom whispered, folding me in her hug. I leaned my head on her shoulder, letting all of my feelings out.
Sometimes it feels good to cry. Then you don’t have everything bottled up inside you, just waiting to explode.
“I love you, you know that?” Dom said, stroking my hair. I nodded into her shoulder. “I would never give up on you. You’re never alone, Artemis. Ever.”
I let out a choked, humorless laugh. “I’m always alone, Dom.”
Because no one really understands me.
And no one ever will.
“What happened? Are you okay? Is everything alright?”
James’ loud, frantic voice was the first thing I heard after I helped Dom into the common room. His eyes were wide and his hair was a mess, disheveled from him constantly running his hands through it.
“Everything is fine, James.” Dom said tiredly. “Maman and Papa are okay; they’re a little disappointed in me but still supportive; Ted and Tori finally got together, and Madame Pomphery gave me a potion for the morning sickness and all I really want to do right now is sleep.”
James nodded, then bent down and quickly lifted her up. “Alright. Let’s get you to bed, Nikki.”
Dom grinned sleepily. “I love having macho cousins.” She sighed, and James smirked.
“So am I your favorite cousin?”
“Yes. Don’t tell anyone.” Dom mumbled, her eyes drooping. She snuggled into him and let out a yawn.
Grinning, James started to put a foot on the first step of the girls’ staircase, but then stopped. “Crap.”
“You can’t go up.” I reminded him unnecessarily. “And I can’t carry her up.”
James threw his head back in frustration. “Why can’t anything ever be easy for me?” He demanded of the ceiling. “Why, Merlin?! WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?”
“You’re not the only one, trust me.” I muttered, sending a quick beseeching look of my own to the sky.
“I guess she can just camp out in my room.” James said, looking down at Dom, who was curled up against him. She smiled in her sleep, and James smiled back at her, supporting her with one hand so that he could quickly brush away a strand of her hair.
It was probably the sweetest thing I had ever seen.
I wish I had something like that.
Ignoring the hollow ache in my chest, I nodded. “That’s probably best. Just…make sure she doesn’t see Apollo or anything.”
“He hasn’t been sleeping there.” James shook his head, and a quick burst of worry shot through his eyes before he covered it up with cold anger. “I haven’t seen him for days.”
“Probably for the best.” I mumbled, rotating my fingers against the side of my head. It was more of a tired gesture than anything, but James’ face creased with worry.
“Does your head hurt?”
“No.” I said, quickly dropping my hand. “Not at all…I’m just tired.” I shrugged half-heartedly.
“You want to sleep up there, too?” James asked me. I shook my head.
“No, I’m okay. I have to talk to the girls.”
“Hey, is that a bump?” James asked suddenly, his eyes wide as he looked at Dom’s stomach.
I felt my face smile. “Yeah. It’s been four months already, can you believe it?”
“Look at that.” He murmured wonderingly. “She really has something growing inside of her.”
I grinned. “I know. It’s incredible.”
“I should probably get her to bed.” James said reluctantly, looking away from me.
“You know what?” I said abruptly. “I’ll come with you. She’ll probably wonder where I am in the morning anyway.”
He beamed. “Come on, then.”
Ignoring the logical part of my brain, which was screaming at me to get my arse to my own room now, young lady, I followed him up the stairs, holding open the door of their room so that he could swing Dom into the room and lay her gently on one of the beds.
“Oi, what’s going on?” Fred asked, his disheveled head popping out from his hangings.
“Nikki’s sleeping.” James said.
“So? Why is she here? Doesn’t she have her own room?” Fred asked.
“She fell asleep downstairs and Artemis couldn’t carry her up, so I just brought her here. Hey, where are the extra sheets?” James added, rummaging around a closet.
Fred shrugged. “Beats me. Missy, what are you doing here?”
“Dom needs me.” I responded simply. “James, forget it, I’ll just sleep on Apollo’s bed. You can sleep on your bed with Dom. She’ll probably feel safer with you there, anyway.”
“What’s with you people?” Fred demanded, getting out of his bed. “Why does Dom need everyone all of a sudden? Where’s Pol? WHAT IS GOING ON?!”
We looked at him for a minute.
“You mean you don’t know?” I finally asked him. Fred shook his head, frustrated.
“What is there to know?”
“Nikki’s pregnant, Freddie.” James said as he walked into the bathroom. “Artemis, do you need some clothes?”
“Nah, I’ll just steal something from Apollo.” I walked to his closet and threw it open in search of something comfortable.
“Dom’s pregnant?” Fred repeated, sounding shocked.
“Yeah, Freddie, get with the program, mate. It’s been four months.” James walked back in the room, wearing pajama pants with snitches all over them. I quickly looked away from his bare chest to Apollo’s closet.
Not looking, not looking, not looking…damn, why is he so beautiful? Merlin hates me.
“FOUR MONTHS?!” Fred exploded. Dom stirred, but then let out a huge snore and rolled over onto her side. “Where have I been this whole time?!”
“Shnogging that Mawowee chick.” Jason supplied, a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth as he walked out of the bathroom and looked for his clothes.
“Why doesn’t anyone tell me these things?!” Fred moaned, throwing his hands up in the air.
“We thought you knew.” I said, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a random tee-shirt. My eyes filled with tears as I looked at it; it was Apollo’s Cannons shirt, something that we always fought over because we both loved it so much.
“Who’s the father?” Fred finally asked.
We all turned around to look disbelievingly at him.
“You mean you haven’t figured it out already?” I asked him.
“Merlin, you’re thicker than I thought.” James muttered, running a hand through his hair and looking down at his bed, which Dom was sprawled across. “Great.” He added resignedly. “Just freaking fantastic.”
Fred’s eyes grew. “No way – Apollo?”
“Someone, give the kid a cookie.” I deadpanned, walking to the bathroom and glaring at Jason, who was brushing his teeth. He put his hands up in surrender.
“I’m going.” He said. “Dun get yer knickersh in a twisht.”
I closed the door behind him and quickly got changed, rolling my eyes at Fred’s continued ignorance. Merlin, the kid didn’t even know that his own cousin was four months pregnant. Though with a family that large and crazy, it’s only inevitable that some things slip through the cracks. It’s really not Fred’s fault that no one told him anything.
“OI! MISHY I NEED TO SHPIT!” Jason banged on the door, and I yanked it open. He barreled in and spat into the sink, rinsing his mouth out while I wandered into the other room and watched James heave Dom to the other side of his bed so that he could also climb in.
“James, if you want she could sleep in my bed.” Fred said quietly, looking at his two cousins. “My bed is bigger than yours.”
James shook his head. “Not by much. I’m fine, Fred.”
“I’m the biggest fuckup in the world, aren’t I?” Fred asked, running a hand through his hair and looking at Dom.
“Just a little.” I smiled at him as I came up to the bed. “It’s okay, Freddie. We’re the ones who didn’t tell you.”
“But I should have noticed. Dom’s my cousin sister; I’m supposed to be there for her and protect her.” He shoved his hand into his hair again, fisting the locks in his grip.
“I got it covered, Freddie.” James grinned at him. “You just need to watch Lils and Rosie for me; Rose is getting a little too friendly with that Scorpius bloke.”
“‘That Scorpius bloke?’” I echoed incredulously. “James, Scorpius is your brother’s best friend! He’s been on your Quidditch team for years. The kid grew up with you!”
“Details.” James waved it off. “As soon as he starts showing an interest in one of my baby cousins, he’s an immediate enemy.”
Fred nodded wisely. “None of them are allowed to date until they’re thirty. At least.”
“Oh, yes.” I nodded. “I’m sure that’s going to blow over real well for Lily and Rose. In fact, I should go and tell Lily of your plans now; let’s see how she would take that.”
I made to turn around, but Fred grabbed my arm. “There’s no need to do that.” He said. “Seriously. Don’t.”
I smirked. “That’s what I thought.”
“’Sides, you guys did a pretty shitty job protecting them.” Jason added.
“Oi! We’re good protectors! They’re all in one piece, aren’t they?” James cried indignantly.
“Oh, yeah? Then why is your ‘baby cousin’ pregnant?” Jason shot back.
James scowled. “I trusted my wanker of a best friend too much.”
“Thanks, James.” I said dryly. “Go ahead and insult my only family while I’m standing right here.”
He cleared his throat awkwardly, looking sheepish. “Right. Sorry.”
I sighed. “It’s okay. I hate him right now, too. I miss him a lot, but hate is also a dominant emotion at the moment.”
“He’ll come around, Missy.” Fred said, his eyes worried. “I know he will.”
“Sure he will.” I muttered, climbing into his bed. “First he needs to re-appear onto the face of the earth.”
“Yeah, where did he go?” Jason asked. They all turned to look expectantly at me, and I suppressed an eye-roll.
“Oh, hold on, let me just check my twin radar.” I said sarcastically. “Then I’ll know where he is.”
They continued to look at me. “Well?” Fred prodded. “Where is he?”
With a groan of frustration, I flopped back onto the pillows. “I don’t have a twin radar, you nitwits! I was being sarcastic!”
“Oh.” Jason sounded disappointed. “Damn. That would have been so cool.”
I snorted. Sure. Let’s make me even more of a freak than I already am.
“Missy. Artemis. Artemis.” Dom hissed, prodding me in the side. I flapped my hand at her and rolled over, burying my head into the comforting scent of Apollo’s pillow.
“Go away.” I mumbled. “We don’t have classes today.”
“Missy, I’m hungry.” Dom whined, poking me again. “Get up.”
“Go bother someone else.” I said, pulling his covers over my head. “I’m trying to sleep.”
“James won’t wake up.” Dom complained. “I want food, Missy. I’m hungry.”
With a frustrated sigh, I sat up. “Will you leave me alone if I come down to the kitchens with you?”
She nodded eagerly.
“Alright, then. Let me just wake up James and then we’ll –”
“Oh, don’t.” Dom pleaded. “He looks so peaceful sleeping there, Missy. Let him sleep.”
“And I didn’t look peaceful?” I asked her. “No way. He’s going to suffer right along with me.”
“You’re mean.” She said.
“You’re one to talk.” I shot back. “Waking up your best friend in the middle of the freaking night; what kind of ‘nice’ person would do that?”
“Me.” She announced proudly. “Might as well just wake up Fred as well.”
She promptly turned around and jumped on his bed. He woke up with a loud yell, and James shot up, his wand out. Jason groped around for the light, muttering profanities under his breath.
“WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU JUMPING ON MY BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT?!” Fred yelled at Dom.
“Why the fuck are you yelling in the middle of the fucking night?” James asked him angrily, shooting a spell at the light so that it would turn on. Jason groaned and flopped back down on the bed.
“Why the fuck is everyone awake in the middle of the fucking night?” He grumbled sleepily.
“I’m hungry!” Dom announced, still bouncing on Fred’s mattress. “Take me to the kitchens.”
“No way.” Fred pulled his blanket over his head. “You can go yourself.”
“I’m going back to sleep.” James agreed, turning off the light and lying down again.
“Get your own goddamned food.” Jason muttered, punching his pillow.
“But I’m pregnant!”
“Let’s go!” Fred shot out of bed, throwing his blankets to the side.
“I’ve got the map, the coast is clear.” James was already up and pointing his wand at his grandfather’s map.
“Now that I think of it, I would really love to accompany you to the kitchens, Dominique.” Jason said earnestly, picking her up and holding her carefully in his arms. “In fact, let me carry you there. Don’t want to get your pregnant self all tired out.”
Dom grinned, and I rolled my eyes.
“Whatis that?” I asked Dom, looking fearfully at her monstrosity of a sandwich. She took a huge bite and chewed it, closing her eyes in satisfaction.
“It’s…” She opened it up and peered inside. “Uh…Nutella, Mayo, pickles, onions, crisps, chocolate chips, ketchup, lettuce, mustard, peanut butter, tomatoes, mashed potatoes, and some pudding!” She slapped the top back on. “It’s delicious. Want some?”
I shook my head, feeling nauseas. “I’ll pass.” I said faintly, clutching at my stomach. “Dom, are you sure that’s even edible?”
“Sure it is.” She got out through another mouthful. “I’m eating it, aren’t I?”
“Unfortunately.” I said, my stomach rolling as she took another large bite. “Dom, that’s –”
“ – missing something.” Dom finished, thoughtfully chewing her sandwich. “I know.”
“I was actually going to say ‘repulsive’.”
“Frosting!” She snapped her fingers. “Oi, Fred, get me some frosting!”
“On it!” He called back from the kitchen.
James sauntered out and handed Dom a tub of frosting. She opened it and started slathering it on her sandwich.
“Er…what are you eating, Nikki?” James asked her unsurely, eyeing her sandwich with disgust.
“A sandwich.” She said smartly, taking another bite. “Mmmm. Perfect.” She sighed happily, settling back.
“What kind of sandwich, love?” James continued, peering warily at it.
“It’s a nutella-mayo-pickle-onion-crisp-chocolate chip-ketchup-lettuce-mustard-peanut butter-tomato-mashed potato-pudding-frosting sandwich.” She rattled off proudly. “And it’s delicious. Wanna try?”
“I’m good.” James swallowed thickly. “Really. I think I’ll make do without.”
“That can’t be edible.” Fred said, sounding repulsed.
“Of course it is!” Dom grinned. “Try some.”
“No, thanks.” Fred smiled unsurely at her, then took a seat.
“Oh, is that a sandwich? Man, I’m starving, gimme some.” Jason said, reaching over and plucked it out of Dom’s hands. Dom grinned up at him as he took a bite, handing it back to her and wiping the back of his mouth.
“It’s good, isn’t it?” Dom asked, looking at him. Jason stopped chewing, and his eyes bugged out of their sockets. He immediately turned around and sprinted out of the room. Two seconds later, the sound of him retching echoed back to us.
Dom smiled serenely, taking another bite of her sandwich.
Me and James exchanged a wary glance. Does pregnancy affect the brain? I’m starting to seriously wonder if it does.
“Oi, want some frosting?” Fred held out a finger of it to me, and I shook my head, sitting back against the wall and closing my eyes. Suddenly, something cold and slimy hit the side of my face.
“ACK! FRED!” I shrieked, sitting up and rubbing the side of my cheek. Fred grinned wickedly at me, waggling his frosting-tipped fingers.
“Oh, this means war.” I snarled, grabbing a tub of it and scooping out a chunk. I lobbed it at him, then laughed as it lodged itself in his hair.
“You ruined my perfect hair!” Fred said, shocked. “You’re going down, Jones!”
“Bring it!” I laughed, dodging as another frosting chunk flew at me. “I’ve got mad Quidditch skills on my side, Freddie! You’ll never win!”
“Yeah, well…I have the spirit of Fred the First on my side!” He shot back. “Oi, Uncle Fred! HELP OUT!” He added to the sky, yelping as another one of my accurate shots hit him in the face.
“You’re going to die, woman!” He roared, scooping out a huge chunk and chucking it at me.
“You missed!” I laughed.
Fred’s eyes grew. “Whoops.”
I turned around. James stood behind me, his face covered in frosting. He looked livid, snarling angrily as he seized a nearby tub of frosting and throwing a huge chunk of it at Fred. It hit him full in the face.
“I guess I sort of deserved that.”
“The hell you did!” I laughed, throwing some more at him. I then crept up behind James and smeared frosting all over his face, laughing as he spluttered.
He turned around and attacked me with the frosting. I screamed and ran away, giggling as he started to tickle me. By this point, Dom had managed to finish her Sandwich of Death, and was battling both Fred and Jason as they came at her with frosting.
“Stop – stop!” I laughed as James’ hands tickled my sides. I was on my back, and James was over me, pinning me to the ground. He stopped, and I continued to laugh weakly, trying to regain my breath.
“Hey, Artemis.” James’ voice was soft, and I looked up to realize that his face was only inches from my own.
“Heh?” I squeaked nervously.
He grinned at me, his golden eyes sparkling. “You’ve got a little something right…here.” He leaned down and kissed the corner of my mouth, his tongue darting out to scoop up the frosting.
Butterflies erupted in the pit of my stomach as I continued to gape up at him.
“And right here.” He kissed my cheek.
“And…right here.” His mouth was inches away from mine.
Oh god, no. Please. No. My hand groped around for something – anything – that could prevent him from kissing me. It landed on a chunk of frosting.
“Hey, James.” I said, leaning my head slightly away from him.
“Hmm?” He seemed focused on my mouth.
“You’ve got a little something right…HERE!” I plopped the icing on the side of his face, and with a squeal, shot up and ran away.
“Oi! GET BACK HERE, WOMAN!” James yelled, chasing after me while attempting to get the frosting off.
I squealed again as all three of the boys jumped at me and Dom, slathering icing all over our faces and hair.
I bet the house elves really hate us.
“Oi, Missy, you’ve got some frosting right there.” Al pointed right under my chin, and with a resigned sigh, I rubbed at it.
“Is it gone?”
He nodded. “Why is there frosting all over you anyway?”
“Frosting war.” I grimaced and tried combing through my hair. Even after washing it for two hours, I still had some remnants of icing in it. It was rather annoying. “It seemed like a fun idea at the time. Now…not so much.”
“Scourgify.” Rose murmured, flicking her wand at me. All traces of icing disappeared.
I slapped a hand to my forehead. “Duh. I’m such an idiot.”
“It happens.” She said sweetly, turning another page of her book. “Where’s Dom?”
“Still sleeping. James is up there, too.” I added, just as Al opened his mouth to ask the inevitable.
I sighed. “Freddie didn’t even know that Dom was pregnant until yesterday.”
I slapped a hand to my forehead. “How do you not know this, Scorpius?” I asked exasperatedly as I turned around to look at his gaping face.
“It’s been four months, you idiot.” Al added, rolling his eyes.
“No one tells me anything!” Scorpius said, throwing his hands up, just like Freddie had done yesterday. “I’ll be Roxy doesn’t know, either. Or Lucy, or Molly. Or even Louis.”
“Fuck!” I shot up, eyes wide. “Louis doesn’t know! And it’s his own sister! Fuck, why’d the little brat have to be in Ravenclaw? I gotta go get James and Dom!”
“We’ll come with.” Rose said calmly, putting her book away. “It’s been ages since I’ve seen Louis anyway.”
“Okay.” I shrugged. “Let me just go and wake up James and Dom, and we’ll all head over.”
Four screaming fits, one large sob-fest, a couple of slaps, and a lot of tripping later, we finally managed to break the news to Louis.
“WHAT?!” Louis yelled, getting up. “WHY DOESN’T ANYONE TELL ME THINGS?!”
“That’s what I said!” Fred agreed, throwing his hands up in the air again.
“It’s been four months?! FOUR BLOODY MONTHS?! And you don’t even bother to tell your own freaking brother?” Louis demanded, turning to Dom.
She looked sheepish as she awkwardly tugged on a strand of hair. “I’m sorry, Louis.”
“Yeah, you bloody should be.” He said, still looking upset. “God, Dom, it’s like you don’t even want me in your life anymore. I’m sorry I’m not a Gryffindor, but at least…at least inform me when you’ve got something going on!”
“Of course I want you in my life, Lu!” Dom said earnestly, coming forward to hug him. “You’re my brother. I love you. It’s just…I had a lot going on.”
I gulped a couple of times to swallow the tears that were threatening to fall down my face. Al reached over and wrapped an arm around me, giving me a reassuring squeeze, and I leaned into him.
“I miss him.” I whispered.
“I know.” He whispered back, stroking my hair. “I know, love.”
“Just…let me know next time, okay? Just so I can be there for you.” Louis said sternly, looking at Dom.
Dom nodded. “Promise.”
“Who’s the dad?” Louis asked finally, still hugging Dom. I watched her stiffen in his arms, and he looked down at her, his eyebrows scrunching up slightly. “Dom?”
“My brother.” I said flatly, not wanting to go through another guessing game with him.
Louis’ eyebrows shot up. “Oh?”
“He left.” Dom’s muffled voice said. “He doesn’t want it.”
A flash of anger shot through his eyes, and I sighed.
“I’ll help kill him.” Louis volunteered, looking at James, Al and Fred. I winced.
“No one knows where he is.” I muttered, taking a couple of deep breaths to prevent myself from breaking down completely and bawling like a small child.
“Plus, he doesn’t need killing. He’s still my best friend, Lu.” James said, running a hand through his hair.
He’s still my brother. Even though he hasn’t been acting like it.
“Do you, James Sirius Potter, take Artemis Selene Jones to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
James’ eyes were shining with love and victory as he looked at me, and I felt my heart jump a beat. He was perfect. So perfect. And he was all mine.
“I do.” He declared.
“And do you, Artemis Selene Jones, take James Sirius Potter to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
I looked at James, at the man I loved more than anything else in the world.
“I do.” I said, beaming. I felt like I was flying, like I was at the top of the world. In this moment, nothing could bring me down, because it was my day and my James.
“Then I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
James leaned forward to kiss me, and everyone erupted into cheers.
I opened my eyes. There was not a shred of doubt in that vision.
This ends. Now.
dun dun DUNNNNNNN.
okay, before we start with our question extravaganza, i need to make two announcements:
1) I MADE AN AUTHOR'S PAGE!!!! i'm so excited, because i FINALLY figured it out! please check it out! don't leave me all by my lonesome over there!!
2) I would like to formally apologize for not being able to respond to all of your reviews. i know that, when you share your opinions and time with me, you expect me to share mine with you. in fact, you should expect that. it is expected of me. i realize if some of you are a little upset that i havent been able to respond to them all lately. my good friend pheonixy_friend (along with coming up the genius idea of the buses and ankles and screaming) pointed out that, um, who do i even ask for reviews if i never answer them?
it's a good point. i can assure you, however, that i, honest to god, read, appreciate, and cherish every single review you guys write to me. i may not have time to respond to them, but i definitely go through and read everything you write to me. and it absolutely makes my day, too. your reviews mean the absolute world to me.
and i'm just....SORRYSORRYSORRYYYYYY!!! D':
i just have so much going on right now. it's...overwhelming. so much to do, so many people to keep happy, so much work and school and just...life. and i'm so, so sorry that it's you guys that fall through the cracks a bit. i really am. i'm sorry that i can't keep you all happy.
i wish i could. i really do. it's just... i have no time.so please forgive me. i'll respond to each and every review as soon as summer break rolls around. marauder's honor.
on a happier note, QUESTION TIMMMMMEEEE!!
1) What do you think is going to happen next??
2) Who wants to go and visit my author's page? I sure do ;D (sorry, couldn't resist)
3) Who was a little dissapointed with the whole Rose/Scorpius thing?
4) What do you think Artemis' favorite color is?
5) What should Dom's baby be named? And what gender?
6) Favorite quotes??
7) Who's proud of me for writing such an awesomely long chapter?? MEEEEE!!
thanks so much and keep reviewing!!
love you guys!! thanks so much for sticking with me :)
ps check out my new one-shot, Fall for Me. it's lily/james from james' pov.
pps should i post Speaking in Rainbow?
ppps shout out to Bookworm045, who wrote on her author's page that i'm her favorite person even if she doesnt know me personally!!! that is not bad at all. I LOVE YOU :D
i absolutely died of happiness. i'm still grinning about it.