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Déjà Vu by dream_BIG
Chapter 6: Tension, Confessions and Intense Hair Stroking
dude. intense stuff, right here.
read and review, my loves!!
seriously, i was like, high when i put the quote on this chapter image. i mean, really? what must have been going through my mind?!
well, whatever. at least you know it's Jas - OH MY GOD, I COVERED UP TAYLOR LAUNTER'S AMAZING ABS WITH HIS NAME!
i am appalled at myself. i'm really sorry, people.
i must have been going through some serious issues when i made this thing.
The silence in the room was thick with tension. Dom and Apollo gazed at each other, Apollo looking completely shocked and Dom looking calm and strong.
I felt like I was intruding on something personal, like I wasn’t supposed to be here to see this. James came to stand next to me, and he lightly touched my balled up hand. It loosened automatically at his touch, and he took it. For once, I didn’t pull away; I gripped it tightly, wanting something to anchor me to reality as I stared between the two most important people in my life.
“I – you can’t be.” Apollo said, his voice still hoarse. “You can’t really be…Are you sure you checked? Are you sure it’s mine?”
Of course he would try to deny it; what else did I expect? That he would run forward, scoop Dominique into his arms, and whilst proclaiming his everlasting, undying love for her, exclaim that he should like to marry her then and there so that their child would have married parents before it was born?
Yeah, not likely.
“I am 100% positive.” Dom spoke calmly, though a note of anxiety was creeping into her voice.
“Please tell me this is some sort of sick joke and we can all just laugh it off and then go back to normal.” He begged, his voice sounding desperate and scared.
Dom’s calm façade cracked. “It’s not a joke, Apollo. Do you want it to be? You don’t want the child?” Her voice rose with each word.
Whoa. Hold up, there. Where did she get that conclusion from?
“I just…I just still can’t believe you’re pregnant. We only did it once, Dom! Just once!”
“Well, maybe I’m just really fertile, or whatever, because I AM, and it’s YOURS.”
“It can’t be.” He shook his head.
“But it is.” She countered, her voice pleading.
“Are you positive it’s mine? Like, did you…I don’t know –”
“Sleep with someone else?” She all but snarled. “What do you think I am, Apollo, some sort of whore who just sleeps around?”
I squeezed James’ hand tighter.
“I – no, of course not, just –”
“YES, IT IS BLOODY YOURS!” She yelled. “I checked a million times, Apollo. It’s yours.”
“I – no, it can’t be!” He exclaimed.
“BUT IT IS!” Dom screamed. “I AM PREGNANT AND IT IS YOUR BABY!”
“WELL, I DON’T WANT IT!” He yelled back.
I was clutching James’ hand like it was my only lifeline.
Oh, no. Please, no. He didn’t just say that. He didn’t mean it. Please. No.
“You don’t…want it?” Dom whispered brokenly, her blue eyes wide.
“No.” Apollo said coldly. “I don’t want the baby, Dom. I don’t want it.”
“But it’s yours.” She repeated dumbly.
“I never asked for the damned thing, did I?” He asked loudly. “No, I didn’t! I don’t want anything to do with the bleeding child!”
“Well, that changes things, doesn’t it?” Dom laughed harshly. “What the hell am I supposed to do now, huh? Now that I’m knocked up and the fucking dad is a fucking coward?!”
“Whatever.” He turned his back on us. “Get rid of it. I don’t care. I want nothing to do with it. It’s not mine.”
James snarled and I held tightly onto his hand so that he wouldn’t go flying at my brother.
What happened here? Apollo is a whole different person; what’s wrong with him? I feel like I’ve landed myself into some parallel universe where Dom goes and gets herself pregnant and Alex snogs people and Apollo is a cold, heartless coward.
So much for being a Gryffindor.
“I WILL NOT BLOODY GET RID OF OUR BABY, APOLLO JONES! IT IS A HUMAN FUCKING BEING!” Dom screeched.
“It’s yours.” He responded. “Not mine. I don’t want it.”
With that, he marched through the door, flung it open, and flew down the stairs. Dom collapsed into a mess of tears.
“Dom.” I rushed over and pulled her off of the ground, sitting on the nearest bed and cradling her. “Dom, shh, sweetie, stop it, shh.”
She sobbed into my shoulder, completely soaking it through. James sat down next to us, and looking worried, he placed a gentle hand on Dom’s hair, slowly stroking.
“Dom.” He said quietly. “Hey, Nikki. Listen to me.”
She gave a start at the special nickname that James used to call her when they were little, and her sobbing decreased a bit so she could hear what he had to say.
“No crying, okay, Nik? Please. I don’t like it when you cry.” He reached over and softly pulled her out of my grip, holding her like a little kid on his lap. I wiped away the tears I just realized I had been crying.
“Why?” She choked out. “Why does it even matter anymore?”
“Of course it matters, love. You’re going to be a mom.” There was a hint of happiness in his voice at that. He wasn’t mad at her. Thank you, James.
“A great one.” I added.
“Yeah.” She said sarcastically. I flinched at her harsh, empty tone. “I’ll be a fabulous mother. Simply fucking fabulous. Pregnant teenager, with no job and no money. All alone.”
“Who said you won’t have a job and money?” I asked loudly. “Who said that, Dom? You can, and you will. You’ll be the best mom out there. And you won’t be alone. Ever.”
“But I’ll be the only one for the baby, Artemis. Don’t you see? It doesn’t have a father. I couldn’t give it a father. I’m alone, all alone.” She cried harder at that.
“Are you kidding?” James exclaimed. “Your kid is going to be the luckiest kid out there, Nikki. It’s going to have two moms and a dad.”
“What?” Dom whispered, looking up through her tear-filled eyes.
“You didn’t think we were just going to leave you, did you, Dom?” I asked her, smiling gently. “What kind of friends would we be?”
“We’ll be there for you, Nikki. Every step of the way.” James added, also smiling.
“You will?” She looked like a lost puppy, alone and helpless.
“Of course we will, love.” He responded.
“For me?” She continued, eyes still innocent and scared.
“Yes; just for you.” I said.
“No.” She shook her head. “Not just for me. For the baby.” Her hands came around to cradle her stomach, and she smiled gently at it through her tears. “For my baby.”
“How’d it go?” Ella asked warily, blatantly ignoring my furious head shakes and throat-cutting signals. I sighed and got my wand ready to conjure up some more tissues for the water-works that were sure to ensue.
“Not well.” Dom said hollowly. “He said he didn’t want it. And then he left.”
“Oh, sweetheart—” Ella rushed forward to envelope her in a hug, but Dom simply turned around and climbed into my bed.
“I’m going to sleep.” She said monotonously. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I flinched at the dead tone her voice had taken.
“Okay.” I responded quietly. “Good night, Dom.”
“Don’t lie.” Was her reply. I flinched again, and Ella touched my arm, a million questions in her eyes.
I answered by shaking my head at her and barely suppressing a sob behind my hand. She nodded and pulled me into a hug, rubbing my back and letting me climb into her bed with her.
I didn’t sleep at all. I didn’t get a single vision.
Alex was nowhere to be found.
At around midnight, there was some shuffling. My eyes popped open, and I sat up in bed, wand out.
“Shh, it’s just me.” Alex whispered, lowering my wand for me.
“What – holy shit!” I whisper-exclaimed. “Alex, it’s three in the morning! Where were you?”
“I was with Matt.” She admitted, blushing a bit.
“At three a.m.? What for?”
“Missy! We didn’t do anything! I was just helping him with some homework, and then I guess I must have fallen asleep or something, because when I woke up again the Slytherin common room was empty, so I just came back here.”
“Hold on.” My brow furrowed. “He just left you there?”
Alex shrugged. “Sure. It’s not like I asked him to wake me up or something. So he just let me sleep. He’s so sweet, isn’t he?”
“Extremely.” My voice was thick with sarcasm, but Alex, unfortunately, missed it, since she was too busy beaming in thought of her ‘precious, sweet Matt’ (gag me). Suddenly, her smile melted off of her face and she assumed a confused look instead.
“Hold on…why are you sleeping in Ella’s bed?”
“Because Dom is sleeping in my bed and I don’t want to be alone right now.” My bottom lip quivered as the events from earlier on crashed down on me.
“What happened?” Alex asked. “Oh, god, I can’t believe I wasn’t there! Missy, I’m so sorry, I just lost track of time, and I completely forgot!”
“It’s okay.” I said. I explained everything to her, and she sunk down on her bed, her face an expression of horror.
“He did that?”
I nodded and wiped away another tear.
“No. No way. That’s not like Pol! That’s not like Pol at all! He wouldn’t do something as mean as that!”
“But he did.”
“Oh, Miss…” She whispered, looking upset. “I’m so sorry.”
I shook my head. “That’s his decision. I don’t care. I’m sticking with Dom and the baby. If Apollo doesn’t want it, then that’s his loss. I’m not leaving her.”
“Of course you wouldn’t. You’re a great friend, you know that?”
I smiled. “Thanks.”
“Everything will be okay, Artemis.” Alex said fervently, after a bit of silence. I looked up at her.
“Promise?” I asked, my voice more scared and vulnerable than I had ever thought it would be.
“Promise.” She kissed my forehead. “Now, go to sleep, okay?”
Alex better keep her promise.
You know that your life has gone down the drain when the only constant thing in it is Quidditch Practice.
I think now would be an ideal time to say: FUCK MY LIFE.
“Alright, guys.” James looked around at all of our tired, stony faces. “I guess we could just…ah, what the hell? What’s the point, anyway? You can just go.” He ran his hands through his mussed-up hair and turned around.
I exchanged a glance with Ella, eyebrows raised.
“How about we start with laps, yeah?” I said, and the team, after varying degrees of worried looks at James, started running.
“James?” I asked timidly, coming up behind him. He didn’t turn around. “James, are you okay?”
“No.” His voice was hollow. “No, I’m not okay, actually.”
I stepped around him so that I was standing in front of him, and noticed that he had huge bags under his tired eyes. The normally bright color of his irises was now a dull, tarnished gold.
“James, it will be okay.” I whispered, looking earnestly at him. “Really. It will.”
“Do you know what I had to do, Artemis?” He asked, closing his eyes and breathing deeply through his nose.
“No. What did you have to do?” I asked.
“I had to choose. I had to choose between them.” James’ voice was bleak as he said this. “I had to choose between my best friend and my cousin.”
I just looked at him.
“I just lost my best friend, Artemis. My best friend. Because he’s too much of a coward to face the truth.” He said bitterly. My chest felt like someone was sitting on it.
I just lost my twin brother.
“He…he didn’t change his mind?” I whispered brokenly.
“No.” James hung his head. “He didn’t.”
A sob broke out between my lips, and tears started streaming down my face. “I can’t, James!” I cried. “I can’t choose between them. He’s my brother. My brother. And she’s my best friend…oh, god.” I clutched tightly at my hair. “What…how could he be doing this to us? I have to choose.”
“Artemis…” Suddenly, strong , comforting arms were wrapped around me. I had a fleeting moment of déjà vu when I thought about the vision, and realized that I did, indeed, feel extremely safe in his arms.
I hated it.
So I pushed away from him, hugging myself around the middle as I rocked back and forth.
“Artemis?” His voice was surprised, and there was an edge of hurt in it. I couldn’t stand that. I didn’t like that he was feeling hurt.
And I hated it.
So I did the only thing I could think of doing. I sidled closer to him and let him hug me as I cried into his shoulder.
“Everything’s wrong, James.” I sobbed. “Everything. Apollo was supposed to stay with Dom, and…and, I wouldn’t have to pick between them, and…and…everything’s wrong.”
“Shh.” He rubbed my back. “Artemis, shh. You said it yourself, love. You said everything would be okay, didn’t you?”
“I did.” I admitted. “I just…I just feel like there’s not a single reason to make me believe that.”
“Shh.” He stroked my hair, and for once, I didn’t try and stop him. “Shh.”
It felt so good, his hand rhythmically moving over my hair. His hand stroked through the curls again, fingers threading through the strands. One finger gently grazed against my scalp, and shimmers of electricity flowed from that spot. I shuddered lightly against him, and James, taking that as another sob, planted a light kiss to the top of my head. I squeezed my eyes tighter, not wanting this, but also not wanting him to stop.
For once, I was safe. He made me feel safe, like nothing could touch me. Like I wasn’t alone.
My eyesight blurred and flickered, and I gasped and stepped away from him.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking closely at my eyes. I looked away, knowing that he would be able to tell the difference in my eye color, since it was now a light, opaque silvery-grey.
“I’ll be right back.” I got out, fighting against the vision as I quickly ran into the girls’ locker rooms.
I looked up from the homework I was doing, and felt my face stretch into a wide smile at the sight of James.
“Hey, you.” I responded playfully, accepting his kiss and moving my stuff over for him. He plopped down, sighing tiredly.
“Ella and Jason are driving me up the wall.” He complained.
“Me, too.” I said, grimacing. “I mean, there was absolutely no difference between those two colors, but Ella completely flipped out.”
“So you thought so, too?” He asked. “Good! Ella was griping about me being color-blind and Jason being a useless shit.”
“Poor kid is nervous.” I defended for him. “He’s getting married in a couple of months, right out of school. Who wouldn’t be nervous about that?”
“Well, Ella isn’t.” James responded, reaching over and trapping one of my curls between his fingers.
“Yeah, she is. She just takes it out by turning into some sort of planning machine.” I laughed, leaning into him.
“Ugh. Please tell me you won’t be the same way when we get married.” He begged, twirling the curl between his fingers.
“What makes you think I’m going to marry you?” I asked, pulling away and turning around so that I faced him. He looked confused and hurt.
“Well…I thought that…I mean, you are, aren’t you?” He stuttered out, looking anxious.
I raised an eyebrow. “You never asked.”
“Okay.” He relaxed a bit, grinning. “Marry me.”
My stomach fluttered, but I frowned angrily at him. “James Sirius Potter, if that’s how you’re going to ask me, then you can just forget it.”
“Okay, okay.” He laughed, pulling me closer against him again. “That’s not how I planned it, don’t worry.”
I looked up at him. “You’ve thought about it?” I whispered, my heart soaring.
“Of course I have. I love you, Artemis. I’m going to spend the rest of my forever with you.” He leaned down and gently kissed me, making me smile.
“You know, that does sound good.” I smiled, biting my lip a little. “Forever.”
“Of course it does.” He rolled his eyes and reached up to tousle his hair. “Who wouldn’t want to spend forever with me?”
As I shoved him off of his chair, I marveled over how fast boys were able to switch from sweet and romantic to cocky and stupid.
I took a shaky breath and opened my eyes. Rock solid. That vision was rock solid.
I’m in too deep. I have to stop this. I have to.
After a long mental pep talk, I stepped out of the locker room, and was immediately assaulted by James’ questions.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay? What took you so long? Is everything alright?”
I realized, with a start, that he was the only one left in the locker rooms. Wow. Must have been a long pep talk.
“I’m fine.” I said distantly, starting to walk away from him. He fell into step beside me right away, still peering closely at my face. “I just wasn’t feeling too well.”
“Something’s wrong.” He said abruptly, his gaze searing. “Something is different; Artemis, what’s wrong?”
“Other than the usual stuff, you mean?” I asked bitterly.
“Artemis, look at me.”
I avoided his gaze.
“Look at me.” His hand gripped the top of my arm while his other forced my chin up. I found myself lost in his golden depths, and gulped and quickly shifted my eyes away.
“Look at me, goddamnit!” He grabbed my face and sent his piercing gaze right into my eyes. Moments passed, and I realized that I was holding my breath.
“You’re…you’re hiding something from me. Something’s changed. What happened, Artemis?”
“Nothing happened!” I yelled exasperatedly. “Nothing happened, Potter! Now let go of me.”
He flinched at the use of his last name, and his grip loosened. I used that to my advantage, jerking my arm away and walking towards the school as fast as I could.
I was nearly to the door when James caught my arm again and spun me into him. I crashed against his chest and found myself face-to-face with him.
He was much too close. Much too close. This couldn’t do. I couldn’t let this happen.
I gazed at his face, at his eyes, which, after staring into my own, had shifted down to my lips; at his mouth, which was moving slowly towards mine…
I pulled away just as his lips were about to brush against mine. Without another glance at him, I abruptly spun around and sprinted back into the school, pounding along the hallways until I felt I was a safe distance away.
Panting heavily, I sunk to the floor as I tried catching my breath. Tears burned behind my closed eyelids, and a few dripped down my cheeks towards the floor. I didn’t bother brushing them away.
What just happened?
He tried to kiss me. James tried to kiss me.
And I wanted him to.
Kill me now.
“Artemis? What – are you okay?” Apollo’s tired, hoarse voice broke the soft sound of my muffled sobs.
…And, just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did.
Once again, I’d like to take the time to send my deep, sincere thanks to the Fates for making my life living hell. Thanks, girls! I appreciate this!
I think now would be an ideal time for me to just die.
if you want to kill apollo, raise your hand! if you want to kill artemis, raise your hand!!
i raised my hands on both accounts.
okay, so, this chapter was sufficiently depressing. sorry about that, guys. i just thought that depressement (is that a word? no, it isn't. ah, well) would be appropriate since she, you know, just basically went through hell.
but no worries, guys! next chapter is happier :)
(classic) what do you think is going to happen next??
if there was one character in this story that you would like to scream at, who would it be?
who do you hate more: matt (alex's boyfriend) or apollo?
next chapter is called Arguments, Blatant Snogging, and Atrocious Cases of Very Heavy Fog
review, guys! it's my food! seriously. i LIVE off of these reviews.
ps - i'm sorry i'm a terrible review responder :( i read all of them, promise. i'm just too lazy to respond. i might respond to a couple that i just can't resist responding to, but i usually plow through like, ten before i get bored of it and just sit there, reading these things with a large, goofy grin on my face.
my brother's probably wondering what's so interesting about US History.
GEORGE WASHINGTON IS A BEAST, I TELL YOU. A BEAST!
okay, i'm done. i love you guys for sticking with me!!