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17 Things I'm Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts by HarryPotter is my LIFE

Format: Short story
Chapters: 8
Word Count: 5,775
Status: WIP

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature

Genres: Humor
Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, Lupin, McGonagall, Sirius, Lily, James, Pettigrew

First Published: 06/12/2008
Last Chapter: 08/20/2009
Last Updated: 11/06/2009

Rule #1:  I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons nor will I insist that their house colors indicate they are, “covered in bees”.

Over the years, Hogwarts has had its share of trouble-makers. The Marauders, the Weasley twins, and even the Goldren Trio themselves walked the halls of the castle.

In this series of one-shots, watch our lovable trouble-makers doing what they do best; breaking the rules.

Rule #17: I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.

Chapter 6: Rule #6

Rule #6: I will not sing "we’re off to see the wizard" when I am sent to the headmasters office.

"Mr. Potter and Mr. Black! What have I already told you about testing your striptease in the middle of the Great Hall, standing on top of the table, no less?" James and Sirius heard Professor McGonagall coming from a mile away. (Well, not quite . . . more like from the Staff Table.)

James and Sirius quickly jumped down from the Gryffindor house table, knocking over a roast and a dish of potatoes, respectively. They quickly clambered into their robes and McGonagall marched straight towards them, looking like a hungry Chimera. (Which is a quite scary prospect, if you didn’t know.)

McGonagall stopped abruptly in front of the half-naked boys and demanded, "Explain!"

"Well you see," Sirius began, taking the reigns as he often did, "we saw that the Great Hall looked a little glum today, and thought, ‘hey, what can we do to help?’ Obviously, the only logical thing to do was the strip down to our skivvies and parade around with our awesome bodies."

The girls who were nearby enough to hear the transpiring conversation giggled and agreed. "Oh, yes, he’s fit as hell," one girl said, before breaking down into a fit of giggles with her friends.

McGonagall looked like one of those pressure cookers; the ones your not supposed to take the lid off of because they explode . . .Yeah, someone took her lid off. "Go to the Headmaster’s office! Immediately!"

Sirius and James finished re-dressing themselves, scurrying out of the Great Hall at the same time. Once into the Entrance Hall, they took a more leisurely pace, but still had intentions of going to see the Headmaster; they always loved a visit with their nutty professor.

"Man, I love that wizard," James commented happily, as he and Sirius strutted about the castle, towards the Fifth floor.

Sirius nodded in agreement. Without warning, he burst into song. "Ohhhhhhhhhh!

"We’re off to see the wizard; the wonderful Wizard of Oz!"

"He is a whiz, the whiz, the whiz, if ever a whiz there was!" James continued.

Sirius stopped short in his tracks and glared at James. "Stop besmirching a classic, you bloody moron!"

James whimpered and pouted. "It goes like this," Sirius instructed. "You’ll find he is a whiz of Wiz, if ever a Wiz there was!"

"That’s what I said," James insisted.

"No, it’s not." Sirius maintained his (correct) stance.

"Yes it-"

"Will you just shut the hell up and follow the yellow brick road?"

"Fine." James crossed his arms and stomped ahead of Sirius. The boys made their way up to Dumbledore’s office in silence, until Sirius began to hum to the tune of ‘We’re Off to See the Wizard.’

"Will you stop that?" James snapped.

Sirius saw the pain and torture that such a simple little attempt at fun was putting his best mate through. He quickened his pace so that he was standing next to James, then threw his arm around his shoulder. "I’m sorry, mate. Maybe we just shouldn’t sing that song anymore; it’s tearing us apart!" he cried dramatically.

James shook his head, with a slight smile on his face. "No, no. It was just me being overly sensitive. It’s a lovely song, I still want to sing it."

Sirius was gleeful and did a happy dance. "Are you sure?"

"Of course, mate. Thank you for your concern."

Then the two, best mates once again, threw their arms around each others’ shoulders, and began once again. "Ooohhhhhh! We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz . . ."

A/N: Of course, I in no way own the Wizard of Oz of the song. :D