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Chapter 1: Ante Mortem
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All my life I have been a follower.A follower of my family, their philosophies, and a follower of the Dark Lord.Looking back on it now I wonder what my life could have been like if only I had chosen to be a leader. Leaders are great men and women, men and women like Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange, not me.As a child I clearly remember growing up in the finest of worlds. A world of grace, beauty, and timelessness.Traditions held meaning and honor and family were above all else. A creed we lived and died by. And die we did.
Everything is so different now, everything. That world I grew up in is crumbling, I don’t even know if my brother is alive, or the rest of my family for that matter. From the sound of the rumours, I doubt they are. I heard about dear old Bellatrix. Such a shame, but she is a martyr for a good cause. I’m sure the Malfoys will come out of this on top as they always do, damn sneaky bastards, but such cunning must be admired. I glance up at the wall where I have kept a record of my days here, its almost been a year and a half. A year and a half to condemn an already dead man? Our ''justice'' system is so on top of things, I scoff loudly. My dark eyes, which once held so much promise are now nothing more than haunted hollow shells of what they once were. The chains around my wrists are cold, so like the last few years of my life. The desolation is starting to descend on me now and I know its coming. I can feel it.
I don’t remeber much about my home life. Well I mean I do, but at the same time I think those memories have begun to fade away, slip through my mind, as so much already has. One of the few that still seems to stand out is a woman. She wasn’t considered the prettiest, but she was to me. I know what they say, we love no one. Thats a lie though. For I loved her, she was my world. Then they killed her. Those damned aurors took her life as coldy and callously, as if they had the right, as if they were God. Ha! God? Well who played God in the end? I did. For I went after them and their families with a vengeance and with no regret. Sometimes at night, I see her face in my dreams. Maybe thats what has kept me sane in this place, or maybe its what has drove me insane, who really knows.
The door to my cell opens with a screeching, grating sound. I don’t look up, so I’m surprised to feel the warmth of a human hand, rather than a dementor’s cold skeleton like one. My head finally snaps upward and I look into the eyes of a young man, maybe only twenty five. I smile on the inside, by the time I had turned twenty five I was one of the Dark Lord’s most faithful. I stand to my feet with what little energy I have left, and once again I follow him out of the chamber. I can hear the moans, and shrieks of the other prisoners, but my mind wanders on past them toward the doors ahead. I know whats coming, I’ve always known this would be how it would end. Had I hoped for something different? Of course. We don’t always get what we wish for though.
The doors swing open and I stand at their entrance. A large court room greeted me and every seat in the room was filled to capacity. I grinned manically. Remembering the lessons I learned as achild, I straightened my shoulders and lifted my head. If I was going to be paraded in front of these morons, then by God I would do it with pride. I may be in chains, and shackles, filthy to look at, but I was a Lestrange and my blood was pure, undiluted and that was something they could never take away from, me.
I sat down in that wooden chair, like a king to his throne. Their jeering, and insults and condemnations were as praises to my ears. At least I’m about to die for defending a cause, a way of life. When they grow old, and can barely walk, when they sit around their old cottages one day, what will they have to show for life? What did they stand for the downfall of wizarding kind?
I hear the dementors slowly hovering toward me, and the room drops by several degress, Before they reach me, I let my mind wander back into the past, before the last of those happy memories vanish. My father flashes by my eyes, so proud, so strong. He would be proud of me now. My dear mother, a woman of regality and discipline. A beautiful woman, who at night would sing me the sweetest songs, who always encouraged me. Lastly was perhas the most endearing, Rodolphus. My dear brother, one could never ask for a better brother, although younger than me, he was always by my side. And I pray to God, to Merlin, to someone, that wherever he is, that he’s alive, that he’s not here in this Godforsaken place.
My fond memories are obliterated as the dementors draw nearer,and the screams of my past victims rise to unbearable heights in my mind. The screams of women as I murdered their husbands and children in front of them. The looks of horror on the faces of families as I entered their homes, seconds before they were all annihilated. Some things never cease to haunt. I shut my eyes and desperately try to block it out. I can feel the their clammy hands on my face and I wait with baited breath. The end is here.
My father had once said, ''Death smles at everyone, all a man can do is smile back,'' I opened my eyes and stared death in the face and with my final action on this earth, I smile back at it.