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Chapter 1: Ending the Questions
Once, I had been a hero. I know, it sounds funny, a common supplier of plants being a hero, but it is true. I even have a statue, a block of rock carved to show a man standing strong, fear and courage equally strong on his face. Iíve become a childhood legend, sharing space with Merlin, Morgan, Da Vinci, and Harry Potter. I never wanted this, I never wanted any of this. I was only a boy, doing what I had to do, and yet the wizarding world honors me, because I gave up what they deem most precious. I gave my magic.
I however look at my magic as being worth less than a knut. I was almost a squib before this, and I am a squib after. I gave nothing, nothing that mattered. I still have my heart, and my soul. I am still simply Neville Longbottom. I still have my memories, memories of love and fortitude that inspire me to this day. I have memories of my parents, of Ron and Hermione, Harry Potter and Belladonna Lestrange. I have memories of friendship, a magic beyond muggle and wizarding world alike. I have my plants, plants I love as if they were my own children, and yet I am thinking of giving all of this up.
Why would I leave all of this? A day ago I couldnít imagine allowing anything to take me from what I have here. Yet today, today I find myself packing. Belladonna writes me every Monday, and I never send anything back. Today however is Friday, and I saw her handwriting on the scroll. The scroll tells me she is fine, and happy, and that she loves me. She says she will never forget my courage, and she will try to make me proud.
It is a goodbye letter, and I canít even think of all she wrote without tears in my eyes and a burning kind of love in my heart. She has been the family I have never known and always wanted. She has been my sanity, and my life in these dark times, and now she tells me that she hopes she will not disappoint me. How could she ever disappoint me?
I stand up, my eyes burning with unshed tears and a desire for vengeance. This time, Bellatrix has gone too far. This time, we will settle our debts, old and new. I hope I will be forgiven for what I am about to do, but in the end, it doesnít matter. I have to do this, or I will never be able to care about anything again, and that would make me worse than Bellatrix.
(A/N - I don't know if I am going to delete this, or continue this sequal to Of Plants and Plans. I would like to know what you all think.)