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How to Change a Diaper by sectumsempress101

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Format: Short story
Chapters: 4
Word Count: 2,812
Status: COMPLETED

Rating: 12+
Warnings: Mild Language, Contains Spoilers

Genres: Humor
Characters: Ron, Hermione, Molly, Ginny, Rose
Pairings: Ron/Hermione

First Published: 01/26/2008
Last Chapter: 03/29/2008
Last Updated: 03/29/2008

Summary:







One Weasley.  One baby.  One day.  No Grangers.


Chapter 1: The Bet and Advice
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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, no matter how much I want to.




"How do you women manage to change a diaper?" Ron said, as Hermione strapped a piece of Spellotape on Rose's diaper.


 "Well, Ronald, it's just in female instincts.  I bet you couldn't stand one day without me to help you care for Rose!"


 "Let's make a bet, then!  If I can stand one day of caring for Rose all by myself, you have to buy me the newest model Firebolt!"


 "Well, when I win, I get to go to the Wonderous Witch Spa for a whole week!" Hermione replied.

 "Deal!"

 "Deal!"




 "Harry, how do you survive taking care of Lily?  All babies do is cry, and sleep, and eat, and poop, and do more poop!  You see, I made this crazy bet with Hermione that I could take care of Rose for a whole day, and if I win, I get the new FireboltXXX broom!  You see, I have to have that broom!" Ron stressed.


 "Ron, it's simple!  All you do is make sure she eats, poops, and sleeps!  Plus, I'll help you!  I'll come over, but you'll have to hide me from Hermione.  But there's a catch.  I 'm not going to change her diaper or feed her.  I'll just coach you.  It's the only way you'll learn!" Harry said.


 "Thanks, mate!  Blimey, I didn't realise having kids would be so stressful!  How do you deal with three?"


 "Practice, Ron.  James was the hardest of all.  He was my first kid!  I didn't even know how to give him a bath! Now, since I have James, Albus and Lily, I'm a baby expert.  Sorry, but I have to go.  Owl me the date and time you have to take care of Rose.  I'll set up a shopping date for Ginny and Hermione," Harry said as he left the Burrow's living room, and apparated with a POP!





 Ron arrived at Shell Cottage with a big CRACK!  The yard now was covered in bikes, brooms, and numerous Weasley Wizarding Wheezes products.  Dobby's grave now had blooming flowers entwined through it's numerous cracks.  Bill and Fleur had three kids, Victoire, Dominique, and Louis.  He walked up to the oak front porch.

 Ron knocked on the matching oak front door.  Bill opened it.

 "Hello, brother!  What's made you decide to visit?"

 "Can I tell you inside?"

 "Sure, come on in!"

 "Look, you see, I made this bet with Hermione that I could take care of Rose for a whole day, and if I can't, then Hermione gets to go to a spa for a whole week, and I'll have to take care of Rose for a whole week! I've had Rose for a whole year and I still don't  know how to change a diaper!"

 "Relax, Ron!  How do you think I manage three?  Exactly!  I kept on watching Fleur do it a million times!  Just watch Hermione do it!"

 "Yeah, I guess you're right.  I already asked Harry for help, and he said he'd come over that day.  Do you have any advice for me?"

 "All you do to change a diaper is get an old rag, tie it around Rose's waist, and seal it with Spellotape!"


 "Thanks, Bill.  Meanwhile, I have to go to dinner with Mum and Dad.  See ya!"





 "Dad, how'd you manage changing seven kids worth of diapers?" Ron asked, once he was seated at a run-down table at the Three Broomsticks.

 "I don't know how I managed it, but why'd you ask?"

 "You see, I made this crazy bet with Hermione that I could take care of Rose for a whole day, and if I win, I get the new FireboltXXX broom,"

 "I changed most of the diapers, anyway, Arthur," an aging Mrs. Weasley said.
 
 "Thanks for dinner, anyway...Well, bye Mum and Dad!"





 "Hermione can we call off the bet?  I really want that broom, but I can't take care of Rosie for a whole day!  I don't know how you do it!" Ron said, once he and Hermione were laying in their bed and watching TV.


 "I'm sorry Ron, but a bet's a bet.  They're like Unbreakable Vows.  You know what happens if you break them...Well, sorry, but the bet's still on," Hermione said.

 "But, Hermione, I'll let you still go to the spa if we can call off the bet!"

 "NO!"

 "But, Hermywobbles, I can't take care of Rose for a whole day!"

 "NOOO!  And get to sleep!"



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