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Chapter 10: Chapter 10 - Just A Lonely Girl
Beautiful chapter image by Chella from TDA
"Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?"
- Abraham Lincoln
After seeing Sirius and Izzy in the hidden passageway, Nessa stormed down towards the Entrance Hall, not even caring what kind of mess she looked like. People were changing, feelings changed, everything was changing... it was too much.
Ever since her early years, Nessa had got whatever she wanted. Her father had never had the guts to say 'no' to her, and whenever someone did, Nessa threw a hell of a fit. Which was why no one said no to her.
But being an only child wasn't that great. She didn't want to be spoiled. No, she wanted to be loved. But since her parents were always at work, she had spent her days with James, or alone in the house, playing hide and seek with the maids - who usually gave up after ten seconds. Not that James was boring company, he just had more things to do with his own father - like Quidditch and such.
Nessa had only once sat on a broom, and that was in first year.
Nessa tied her curls on a loose ponytail as she skipped down the stairs, trying to understand why things changed now. She had got used to the safe lifestyle, where her friends agreed with her - most of the time - or had just a blast with arguing for their own opinions. Never like this! It was like she had been drifted away from the others. Lily was... Lily; always right, no matter what the case was. Kate was neutral, as usually, and Izzy... Izzy was the most radical one. She was usually the one who stood up against Nessa's opinions, just to annoy her. Usually it ended up in a playful argument where Lily and Kate were judges - even if Kate was too busy reading and only glancing up whenever Nessa would scream in frustration.
But nevertheless - with or without their differences - they were a team. If one of them was hurt, all of them suffered. But now, it was more than just being hurt, and Nessa knew it. She had crossed the line, and now she was alone.
Outside the circle.
Nessa gasped as she ran into someone, feeling a pair of strong arms around her.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't--" she started and looked up, cursing loudly under her breath as she saw Sirius.
Well, a hell of a Sirius look-a-like; Regulus Black.
"Vanessa," he said, smirking.
"Hi," she said shortly, trying to push past him, but he held her there. "What?"
"Have you been crying?" he asked, a small frown appearing on his forehead.
"No!" she denied, huffing loudly. "Don't be silly, why would I..." Nessa said, trying to laugh but her eyes fell to the floor and she swallowed slowly, and looked back up. "It's nothing."
"Right," Regulus said, letting go of her. "And my brother is not a prat, what did he do?"
Nessa blinked, frowning at the new side she saw of Regulus. She had always had a strong opinion of people, and once she had made her opinion, it wouldn't easily change. Regulus was the last person on her list to change, that was for sure.
"What do you care?" she snapped and hurried out to the grounds, her bag hanging over her shoulder.
"I just thought you would like to talk to someone who has lived with that bastard than mourn in self-pity or worse," he said, following her out.
"What could possibly be worse than self-pity?" Nessa grumbled, not understanding how she was having a conversation with a Slytherin.
"Like showing your weak spots to the Mudblood," Regulus said, stopping as he noticed Nessa's reaction.
Nessa had stopped abruptly at the mention of 'Mudblood'. She had grew up by avoiding that word, as if it was the worst word ever invented, which it pretty much was. Mudblood, dirty blood... it was like they weren't even human beings, too low to even deserve to live. That was what Nessa had heard from her father when she had asked about it.
"Don't you ever talk about my friends ever again!" Nessa growled, spinning around and pulling out her wand. "You know I'm not afraid of using it."
"I also know that you're easily manipulated," Regulus said, eyeing the wand carefully. "Come on, Vanessa, put the wand down..."
Nessa lowered her wand with an inch, keeping her eyes steadily at Regulus, watching his every move. There was something terribly wrong in the way he acted. But then again, he was Sirius' brother.
"You never answered my question," she finally said. "What do you care?" Nessa repeated.
"Those Mudbloods," Regulus said, ignoring the wand Nessa lift towards him again. "They think they are better than us."
"Most of them are," Nessa said truthfully. "They don't take magic as a matter-of-fact. They can appreciate it."
"But they can never live it like we do," he said, raising his eyebrows.
"What do you mean?"
Regulus sighed, walking to her, not even worrying about the wand anymore.
"Have you ever thought what might happen if every single Mudblood marries a Pureblood?" he asked, walking around her, the chilly wind making Nessa shiver. "The whole line of Purebloods will be ruined. Gone. And guess what else? Soon, there will be no wizards and witches left."
"You're wrong," Nessa said, turnign around and looked stubbornly up at him.
"Am I?" he asked with a deep voice. "You know the truth. use your beautiful brains, Vanessa..."
Nessa lift her chin in the air, trying to keep the last bits of her dignity as she put her wand away.
"I know what loyality, trust and love means," she whispered. "And as long as I know and believe in those three, I'm okay."
She walked past him, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. She felt invincible, as if she could just turn around and hex Regulus to hell beyond, but instead, she kept her cool and concentrated on walking.
"Do you really know about loyality and love?" Regulus called after her, chuckling slightly. "Can you really say that it was an act of loyality or love what Isabel did?"
"What?" Nessa whispered, stopping in her tracks again. "How--"
"I know everything," he said, and turned around to return to the castle.
Nessa twirled around, watching as Regulus made his way back, not knowing what to think or believe at that very moment. Her mind was a big mess, and all that she had believed in started to seem like one big plot against her. In the distance, the bell rang, and she heard her friends among with the rest of the class rush out from the greenhouse behind her.
"Nessa!" she heard Lily calling. "Nessa, what's up?" Lily asked as she ran up to Nessa.
"Nothing," Nessa said and ripped her eyes away from Regulus' back, smiling at the red head. "Did I miss much?"
"Well, Sprout went through everything we've read about the last seven years and how it will be important to read through the old notes from those years. I just hope I haven't forgotten my notes at home! Oh God, I need to owl mum and dad and ask them to..."
Nessa didn't even bother to listen to Lily's rant about the mystery of her lost notes. Regulus' words were echoing in her head, over and over again, and she tried her best to lock them out, but whenever she tried to, she always started to question why Izzy had done what she had done.
I'm not dating him, she thought angrily, as she held the door open for Lily. She can shag him all she wants, I don't care, I just want to know for how long this has been on...
With one look at the Great Hall, Nessa knew that she didn't want to be there. Izzy sat with Sirius, James, Remus and Kate where the Marauders usually sat, and Lily looked as bewildered as Nessa.
"You coming?" Lily asked, sighing deeply.
"Sure..." Nessa said, glaring daggers at Izzy as she followed Lily towards the Marauders.
"Hey guys!" Lily said overly-brightly, smiling widely as she sat down beside Kate who was discussing the Defence Against the Dark Arts class that would be later on that day.
"Hey Lils," Kate said, blushing a bit when James leaned over her to grab the bowl of fruits. "Hey Nessa," Kate said, glancing nervously at Nessa.
"Hi," Nessa said shortly, glaring across the table at Izzy, who looked stubbornly at her half-empty plate.
"So!" Sirius said, clapping his hands together as he sensed the tense between them all. "What's up?"
"Don't," Izzy muttered, standing up suddenly. "I can tell when I'm not wanted," she said, looking directly at Nessa.
"Izzy, what--?" Lily started, but stopped as she saw James shake his head to her.
"Great going," Sirius growled to Nessa, running after Izzy while stuffing some apples in his bag.
"What was that all about?" Lily wondered out loud, stating everyone's thoughts.
"Nessa?" Lily demanded, looking at Nessa sternly.
"Why do you always think it's my fault!?" Nessa snapped.
"Nessa, you don't need to be rude, she just--" James started but stopped as Kate shook her head to him.
"Just because Izzy and Sirius are both acting like a bunch of brats, it's immediatly my fault, right?"
"I was just ask--"
"Nevermind, Lily," Nessa said, standing up. "I don't want to hear."
The four of them watched as the dark haired girl stormed out, cursing rudely as a first year happened to be in her way. Lily shook her head slowly, glancing at Remus quickly before nudging Kate and nodding towards the doors Nessa had just stormed out through.
"What?" Kate asked, looking at Lily with a smile on her face. "Oh, I'm sorry Lils, I promised I would... erm, study with James," she explained, her face turning a deeper shade of red.
"Huh?" Lily said, frowning. "But we always study together! Kate!"
"I'm sorry Lils," Kate said, looking truly apologetic. "But I already promised to James."
"No, don't be sorry, I... I just study with Remus then," Lily said and looked over at Remus, who shrugged.
"Sure," he said, glancing at Kate. "We can just go to the Library."
"Okay," Lily said and stood up with a happy smile. "I'll meet you there in fifteen minutes!"
Without waiting for an answer, she walked out, helping some first years to their classes on her way.
James sighed, his hazel eyes looking after the red head dreamily. When Kate continued to talk about the coming DADA class, he forced Lily's graceful walking, her beautiful red hair and those wonderful emerald eyes out from his head, concentrating on the blue eyed girl who was rambling beside him.
"Izzy!" Sirius called after the girl who was practically shoving students from her way. "Izzy, God damn it!"
Izzy froze and looked around at Sirius, her chest rising quickly as she breathed heavily. Sirius didn't need to be told that she was more than pissed.
"Fuck off, Black!" Izzy screamed, making the students glance at her in surprise because of her sudden outburst.
"You can't just run and hide!" Sirius called after the blonde girl, watching her run up the stairs towards third floor. "Don't hide..." he muttered, more to himself.
Sirius sighed, knowing very well where Izzy was heading; to the Astronomy Tower.
Even if Izzy and Sirius loathed each others - atleast they used to - Sirius knew how much Izzy loved to fly. He knew how much she loved to feel the air against her face, feel her hair fly free behind her and just breathe - he knew the feeling she got when she was in the air.
Because he loved that feeling too.
Izzy was exactly like Sirius. Only that she was still trapped in her horrible family. As Sirius walked slowly after Izzy, his thoughts went back to those many times he had been locked in his room for questioning something - anything. All the harsh words, the punishments... it all still hurt. And even if he wasn't sure about what Izzy went through at home, he knew that it couldn't be great. She never talked about it, and when she did, she said very little. And if you asked anything, you would most likely get a black eye.
But that was just Izzy in her true form.
Nessa sat in the dungeons, feeling tears in her eyes at her own actions. She had no idea why she had coem there, she had no idea why she was thinking the way she did. She was lost, and she wished for someone to find her.
"Vanessa?" Regulus murmured, towering over her with his face cold as a stone. "What are you doing here?"
"I need your help," Nessa said with a weak voice.
"What?" he said, frowning. He couldn't believe that the most beautiful girl in the school was asking his help.
"It hurts," she whispered, looking away. "I don't want to hurt."
Regulus sat down beside her, leaning back against the cold stone wall, wodnering what the girl next to him was thinking. He wasn't even sure what Nessa asked him for.
"I want revenge," Nessa said, leaning her arms to her knees, pushing her hands deep in her dark curls, letting out a sigh. "Can you help me?"
A/N: Please don't hate Nessa. She might seem as a traitor for 'being friendly' with Regulus, but she's just childish... and dramatic, as everyone else :D Anyway, review please!
- Lily xxx