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103 Ways To Annoy Voldemort. by claireabella
Format: Short story
Chapter 2: Chapter two: Black is sooo going out of fashion
Here is the 2nd chapter, while I'm at home I decided to write the next chapter, so you know, I am planning on using 103 ways to annoy Voldemort, so far I have used 20, SO I have a bit to go,
Thanks for all the great reviews; at the moment I really need a banner though.
Did you ever know that sleep sorts out your problems, it almost takes your memory and files it, it’s brilliant in a way, and the next morning everything seems ‘almost’ okay.
Well, sleep is what Voldemort desperately needed; today had been almost the longest day in his life. No one had ever treated him like that before, and it made him simply FURIOUS.
“BANG” someone had knocked on his chamber door, then he heard muffled voices and a giggle, shortly after a yelp as someone hit something.
Voldemort sighed and lay down, it was a bit strange, even though Voldemort was technically not alive, he still needed, rest and Q.U.I.E.T.
“BANG” Voldemort muttered swearwords to him self and aimlessly groped in the darkness for his candle
“BANG” this time his door flew open, revealing 6 Deatheaters wearing stripped pyjamas and hoods.
Mcnair giggled in his usual high-pitched girly voice and nudged Lucuis, whose hair was tied up in matching pigtails, complete with pink baubles. Bellatrix was wearing a pink nightie and her hair was braided with the same pink baubles.
“For the love of Merlin, can’t you ever sleep” Voldemort whined, his last strand of patience was seriously being tested
“Nope tiger, we are wide awake, thanks to that super yummy cookie dough ice-cream Mcnair gave us”
“LIAR, Champ I didn’t give it to them, they just found it” Mcnair screamed
“No we didn’t Mcnair” Bellatrix shrieked
“For the last time Bella call me COACH!”
“Why?” Bellatrix asked incredulously
“Because I volunteered to coach Tommy’s little league team” Mcnair replied proudly
“Really, I didn’t know you even knew how to play….” Lucuis asked interestedly
“No I don’t, but that shouldn’t matter to much” Mcnair asked slowly
“I guess not,” Crabbe added.
“WOULD YOU LOT SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE, AND WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE SMELL” Voldemort screamed furiously
“'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of using that tone?” Goyle spoke seriously
“Voldemort sighed and counted to ten. This was it. He couldn’t take it anymore.
“Oh that smell is an aromatherapy dead rabbit I left in here earlier” Goyle added with an afterthought.
“I…. WANT…YOU…OUT…OF…HERE” Voldemort said softly but ever so dangerously.
“Someone is very cranky tonight, we better read him a nightie night story!” Bellatrix sighed happily and ran and jumped on Voldemort’s bed, the rest of the Deatheaters followed suit, Voldemort fell off the bed when Crabbe and Goyle jumped on it.
“Our first story is Cinderella” Bellatrix added.
So after Voldemort was forced to endure 3 ever so boring children’s books, such as Cinderella, The ugly duckling and Snow White.
The Deatheaters had finally gone to bed and Voldemort lay back on the pillow, sleep took over him immediately.
“Round round get around
I get around
Get around round round I get around
I get around
Get around round round I get around
From town to town”
((I get around ~ The Beach Boys))
Voldemorts eyes snapped open, Lucuis, Crabbe and Goyle we’re standing over him, in hot pink spandex, decked with pink frills, they we’re singing “I Get Around” A beach Boys song at the top of their voices, they had matching dance moves as well.
Just when Bellatrix ran in holding an puke green hat, she had oviously knitted herself.
“Mista Dark Lord, I made you a hat, so your head won’t get cold.” Bellatrix yelled happily.
“Thankyou, Bellatrix” Voldemort replied coldly, chucking the hat down on the floor.
“Oh know!!!! You have to wear it!” Bellatrix screamed, slightly abashed.
“Fine, but just for today” Voldemort sighed and put the hat on.
Voldemort was sitting at the banquet table eating slowly, relishing the ‘alone time’. Lucuis walked into the room and went and sat right next to voldemort, he placed his elbows on the table and put his head in his hands, and smiled.
“Tommy-Boy, why don’t you have a cool scare, Harry potter does!” Lucuis asked curiously
“I don’t know, but I could give you a scar if you don’t leave me alone” Voldemort hissed.
Lucuis shrugged, Goyle walked into the room holding a bowl.
“Voldie-poo, I couldn’t find anything to eat….so I ate your pet snake, want some?” Goyle asked happily.
Voldemort chocked, lucuis hit him on the back hard. Voldemort fell off his chair and darkness ingulphed him.
Voldemort awoke, all the deatheaters we’re standing over him with wide eyes.
“Up and at em big boy!” Goyle chuckled, as he pulled voldemort into a sitting position.
“I got the ice!” Bella screamed as she returned to the room.
“OH MY MERLIN” Bella chocked and burst into hysterics
“What?” Voldemort asked curiously
“N…N…nothing” Bella chocked, and she desperatly tried to hold back the tears of laughter forming in her eyes.
“Get me a mirrow” Voldemort yelled, his voice seething with annoyance.
“Mcnair produced an ‘lip gloss’ compact and flipped it open.
To voldemorts shock horror, someone has drawn in what looks like permament ink, round glasses, the exact same roung glasses that potter wears.
“Who did this” Voldemort asked furiously.
The deatheaters all put a hand to their mouth and motioned zipping them shut. Mcnair giggled and took back his compact.
“Just go away” Voldemort yelled, this time he was entirely fed up.
The deatheaters moved out of the room, mcnair still giggling.
It had been hours, and he had not heard a peep out of the deatheaters. Nothing, it worried him. This could only mean badnews.
Voldemort decided to search for them, to make sure they weren’t creating any damage.
Voldemort entered one of the dungeons, all the deatheaters we’re knelling on the floor, their we’re tubes of glitter glue and pots of paint all over the floor, the death eaters hoods we’re lined up on the floor, they had glitter glue all over them. They we’re completely ruined. No longer would they pass off as death eaters hoods, but simply evil hippies.
“What are you doing?” Voldemort asked coldly, and slowly just for the effect.
“Black is sooooo boring and so old, we decided to add colour” Bellatrix replied simply, so she could finish glueing a heart in purple glitter glue onto what looks like, her husbands cloak.
“You realise that these will make us look like jokes you know” Voldemort shouted furiously.
“NO…… but we may start a fashion trend” Lucuis added.
Voldemort gave up, he turned and left the room.
And that is chapter two!, it was heaps of fun writing it, but during the demands you all left me, I decided to skip betaing.
Till next time