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Chapter 6: Chapter Six
When Diggory sat down next to me at dinner 99% of the females in the hall erupted into whispers, it was like bees buzzing, buzzing for gossip. This school I have discovered thrives on gossip…they obviously don’t have a lot else to do, now let’s suggest that this was a girl school, what would they do then? If only the girls at this school could be strengthening their academic minds…read my friends, read.
Anyway back to the air head Diggory.
“Hi Rose mind if I sit here?” asked Diggory in his most polite voice. Sirius had officially broken up with me a couple of minutes ago and it was by a letter he had gotten Peter to deliver, oh how he is crass, his biggest weakness.
“Sure thing Amos.” I replied sweetly.
“So how’s it going about Sirius? I just heard he ‘offically’ broke up with you.” He started solemnly.
“I don’t care.” I said brightly showing a big toothy grin, fluttering my eyelashes, flicking my hair etc. I’ve got this whole being a girl thing brilliantly. No one can flick their hair like me. I looked down the table directly at Sirius, he was staring at me with his eyes narrowed, I know that look, I’ve seen it a million times before. Jealousy. Yes. All I can think of right now how easy it was to score Diggory he could have nearly every girl in the school yet he chose me. Maybe the association with Sirius that I found so wrong…was so right? Isn’t that an inspirational sentence for you. It was only then I realised Diggory was actually putting a couple of sentences together…in other words talking.
“Then I was having this horrible thought that I had swept my hair to the wrong side this morning, imagine that! So here I am in potions thinking how the devil am I going to check my hair? It was only until I concocted this ingenious plan of saying that my sister back home is sick and that I desperately need to write a letter to her before she dies! How good is that?” hasn’t this man ever heard of the bathroom? I mean Slughorn has an incontinence problem himself so he can completely relate to you when you need to go to the loo. I think Diggory has been so self absorbed all these years that he forgot to attain the knowledge of common sense. I smiled at him and did the whole you are so intelligent look, but everything felt so strained, so fucking wrong, the whole getting revenge on Sirius, is useless, pointless, idiocy. I looked into Diggory’s handsome brown eyes, those chestnut eyes which on the right person could be warm and indulgent like rich luxurious chocolate, but on Diggory they look empty and show off his vanity.
I only just realised that I hate Diggory and boys like Diggory because they care nothing for other people, they have no worries, all they care about is how their arse looks like of the cover of Witch Weekly. I also hate Sirius Black for making me realise I hate people like this, it’s made me notice that there isn’t a lot of genuine people out there, not a lot of caring, compassionate people to pick you up when you’re down. It’s made me realise this world is absolute shit.
I mumbled and incoherent I’ve got to go and left the table.
“Hey Powell!” I turned around to see Potter staring at me vehemently.
“Since when did you become such a slut?” great argument Potter, when you need to criticise a girl call them a slut, slag, whore, bitch, fugly bitch, the list goes on. What about your little gang of followers, I hate men, a girl kisses a boy and their the slut, a boy has sex with a girl it’s incredibly cool while the girl gets labelled as ‘easy’. Oh how our society makes me cringe.
“Since when did I make the transition from freak to slut?” I yelled back. I can mock myself just nicely.
The next day I saw Sirius talking to some stunning brunette, with long lean legs and perfect waste. I laughed so hard because she’s so fake and useless except for looking at and the fact that Sirius was like…
“You know Bridgette I have this gorgeous cardigan of my mum’s in my dormitory, you should come and check it out with me.” He said this all with that Sirius appeal. I scoffed the girl didn’t seem to make the connection of why Sirius had his mum’s cardigan and that fact that he wanted a good snog. Also it’s common knowledge that Sirius ran away from home last year to live with James and that he despises his parents.
I on the other hand would have seen straight through those devious little lies and spat in his face, even when my mother says it’s a heinous act to spit.
Meanwhile Diggory is starting to get on my nerves
“Hey Rose you look sexy like that, if you would just wear your skirt that little bit shorter you could so pose in one of my photos with my friends.” I can’t believe he just referred to me as ‘sexy’ I am insulted, wear my skirt shorter? I am not a toy for whom he can use for sexual pleasure, stuff him. I’ll wear my skirt down to my ankles for all I care.
“Also if you left a couple more buttons on your shirt undone…you know, you would look a couple years older.” Do I want to be older? I can’t remember mentioning it, but seeing as I am the poor freak that popular boys like to take pity on he would know best. He is so clueless, Hogwarts is breeding a generation of clueless ignoramuses. They really need to go over their curriculum.
“Thanks Amos, I’ll keep that in mind.” I replied before I seriously considered castrating him.
“You know Rose some of m-”
“That’s nice Amos.”
I walked away from him and vowed from this second on I would have nothing to do with him, nothing to do with anyone popular, superficial, vain or stereotypical.
Which rules out all of Hogwarts.
I walked to a library a place I haven’t been for awhile and picked out what looked like a thrilling read about a Nymph and dreamy mortal boy called ‘Love is Dead’ catchy title eh?
On the way out I spied Evans and Potter smooching in the corner, I considered going to Madam Collier and telling her to check out what’s in isle C, but this broke my non involvement rule…but then Potter did call me a slut so I can break it just this once.
I left the library in fits of hysterics as Potter and Evans were humiliated in front of the nerds (which includes me) a young girl probably a fourth year glared at me and had the gall to say…
“That was pretty bitchy.”
The nerve of these people! I am a seventh year, respect me! I promptly gave her ‘as if I give a crap look’ and walked off. The new book I had borrowed was also crap and I had a strong urge to throw it in the bin if I wouldn’t have to buy a new one…damn this whole library system and I’m impecunious at the moment and I also wouldn’t want to have to waste my money on said crap book.
That night I cried.
Not about Sirius but my dog Blue, he died. I didn’t get to say goodbye and all I could think of is how screwed my life has become and now I no longer have Blue to come home to, mum said she wouldn’t buy another dog until the Christmas holidays, but I couldn’t even contemplate having another dog that wasn’t Blue.
And now the whole school is talking about me as if I’m the girl Sirius gave a good time to…exactly what I feared would happen, being involved with popular boys does not pay off. At this precise moment was when my insomnia began. I can’t sleep, I don’t feel like eating and I constantly feel cold…but that could be because it is winter.
The best way to deal with times like this is to become a freak again and fade into the background and people accepted that role pretty quickly. No teachers called upon me, no one talked to me (unless throwing snide comments about my make-up my way) and basically I was free to do whatever I wanted. Which I must say is pretty boring.
Because I can’t sleep anymore I go downstairs and read my book away from superficial know-it-alls like Evans.
As I lounged in the squashy armchair by the fire I heard a sound on the other side of the room.
“Hi Rose.” Said a voice from the stairwell that sounded so familiar. I turned my head slightly so I could get a better look at him. He was leaning casually against the wall, his hands in his pockets.
“Hello.” I replied turning back to my book. This is the guy that has made me feel like crap for the last three weeks, he doesn’t deserve my time. I could see him moving towards me, I felt lie reaching for his neck and strangling him, I’m being serious, I really do hate him right now.
“You know Rose; I cottoned on to your little plan pretty early, your conniving, vicious little plan. To get rid of me, I know you think the only reason why I wanted you was because I can’t have you and you know what, that hurts. It hurts big time, sure I was teasing you, testing you, being an idiot and all that and only until you hooked up with that confounded Diggory, did I realise, that you liked me and you were trying to get me jealous. It didn’t work Rose, I knew the sacrifice you were making, you should’ve gotten with Bluevark, that would have enraged me, I guess you’re not as smart as I thought you were. I thought you were fairly smart too, nothing on my intellectual brilliance…but smarter than most of the girls. That’s why I liked you Rose? Because you’re different, you don’t care about your looks, other people’s looks, nothing but your books, your sweet little books. Such an innocent things, such a stark contrast, I hope your books keep you warm at night, because nobody else will.” He said this huge spiel aggressively, walking towards me until he finally sat in the armchair opposite me, staring at me vividly.
“Finished now? Because your voice bores me.” I retorted. That was hilarious I can imagine him sitting on his stupid bed, in a pitiful pair of boxer shorts (I’m imagining racing brooms…or maybe they have hippogriffs on them, I like it.) thinking that whole spiel out, he can’t fool me.
“No. You know what I think Rose? The reason you can’t sleep at night is because you’ve finally come to terms with the fact that you have no friends, no one cares-”
“How dare you make presumptions about my life, you don’t even know me, let alone able to judge me. You pissed me off Sirius, you’re infuriatingly conceited , you’re like a bump in the road to a blissful eternity. Why would I want some arrogant, self absorbed man to keep me warm at night? I’ll get a puppy dog, it’d do the job better. All men do is get you knocked up then leave right in the middle of labour, right when you’re screaming in pain and want nothing else but their comfort. Men make me sick, you make me sick. You’re hair, sneer and ‘I think I’m better than everyone else expression.’ Why would I ever get involved with you? Do you think I’m deranged? Stupid? Suppose you do. Just like I think you’re an ignoramus that’s not worth an ounce of my time.” Oh yeah! That would have to be the best argument I have ever made. But you know what, I feel like crap. I feel like some bird has just done a shit on me, like a permanent rain cloud, which is pouring with rain, is hanging right. Above. My. Head.
But what Sirius said is lies. Who else am I telling this story to? I turned around and began to walk up the stairs, people had come down to investigate and looked at amazed, I stared at them without really looking at them, my mind was wandering elsewhere, in a black alley with no end.
That night I’ve slept the best I have in three weeks.
A/N: I hate this chapter, loathe it would probably be a more accurate word. The ending is so melodramatic it makes me want to be sick (as Rose would put it) and I’ve decided now that after all these long and tedious chapters there will finally be a touch of romance aka snogging etc. maybe not…I’m not quite sure yet I haven’t written the next chapter…ok I’m rambling here so lets go quickly. Terribly sorry for the longest update ever!!! I swear my teachers are acting like homework is God’s gift to the world and have decided that we were sufficiently deprived of it last year and have given us a nice good dose of it this year…which equals longer updates. Sorry!!! So do you like it? If you liked it and give it a review it’ll make me like it too! Isn’t that a good incentive?
Thanks to all the super duper reviewers out there, you guys are officially on my list of cool people, I’m jotting you all down right now.
Love Amie xoxo
P.S This is the longest author’s note I’ve ever written…just to let you know :)