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All I Have To Give by dracos annie

Format: Short story
Chapters: 8
Word Count: 10,356

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Drama, Romance
Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Ginny
Pairings: Ron/Hermione, Draco/Hermione

First Published: 02/01/2006
Last Chapter: 02/19/2007
Last Updated: 02/19/2007


Thanks to Midnight Cityscape for the brilliant banner
Draco has longed to be with Hermione since the day she confessed her love for Ron. When they bump into each other 5 years after having graduated from Hogwarts truths from their past are revealed.

Chapter 5: Effects


Hermione watched Draco walk out the door and then she had a vision.

Now, get going. I don’t want to see your ugly face again,” Hermione heard Ron order as she saw only blackness. Then her eyes began to open and she saw flickers of light. Someone was walking away from her. Who was it? Why were they leaving? Hermione didn’t want them to go. Why couldn’t Ron go? The last thing she saw was a blonde figure walking out through the door and then the door closed behind them.

Her vision ended as Draco closed the door behind him. “Draco, don’t go!” Hermione heard herself say. It seemed so distant, as if she weren’t saying it at all. Did I just call for Draco to come back? Am I going nuts or what?

Hermione tried to remember what she was supposed to be doing before Draco had showed up at her door. She looked at her watch. 2 o’clock, shit I’m late for that meeting with Mr. Weasley! Man, I’m going to…argh! She disapparated.


Ron came home that night, fully sober. This time it was Hermione who was out of it and she hadn’t even been drinking. While she was making dinner she had burnt the vegetables three times because she was thinking about what had happened that morning. Ron had to take over the cooking.

While they were eating Ron would try to start a conversation by asking “So, what did you do today honey?” or “Meet anyone new lately?” to which Hermione replied with “not much” and “no, not lately” in a dry tone, not really wanting to talk about anything. Every time Ron opened his mouth, she would either have a flash back of what had happened with Draco that morning or the scene from her dream would replay in her mind.

Finally Ron asked, “Are you okay Hermione? You seem to be somewhere else tonight?”

“Oh I’m fine,” said Hermione waving it off, “it’s probably just because I had a tiring day at work. I was late this morning and I had so many extra things piled on my desk this afternoon it wasn’t funny.”

Of course she was lying through her teeth, but Ron was satisfied. He stopped talking to her until they had finished their dinner. “So, does my darling wife want her dessert?” Ron asked in what he thought was a seductive tone, but Hermione wasn’t in the mood.

“Not tonight Ron. I’m too tired” Ron pouted, trying for the sympathy vote but Hermione wasn’t taking that either. She got up from her chair and took her plate into the kitchen. She then walked into the bedroom, put on her favourite midnight blue nightie and hopped into bed pulling the blankets under her arms while laying her head back on the pillow.

She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind so that sleep would take her but the scenes from that day kept rushing through her mind. Why did Draco have to come to the house? Why couldn’t we have bumped into each other at the ministry again? And whom am I supposed to talk to about this? I can’t tell Harry because he was the one that told Ron that I had been with Draco in Diagon Alley. I can’t even tell Ginny because she might let something slip to Harry and even if she didn’t, it would be a big thing for her to keep from her big brother. Argh, this is hopeless. Maybe I should just go to a psychiatrist and see what they say.

Thoughts were rushing through Hermione’s head until at last sleep took her.


Meanwhile, in the small wizard courts Draco was having some trouble of his own. The incident with Hermione had really rattled him. He hadn’t meant to kiss her and now that he had he couldn’t help but think of it. He had liked kissing Hermione, yet he knew it was wrong. He kept telling himself that she was married and he would never have a chance with her.

But then why did she kiss you back? was all his brain could muster. It didn’t make sense. And because it didn’t make sense his brain would not let the matter go.

When he was working and trying to concentrate on creating a case for his clients, thoughts of Hermione always seemed to creep their way into his mind. Usually Draco was good at his work and never lost a case, yet since the episode with Hermione he had lost five straight and his boss knew there was something up.

Anna Racell always kept an eye on her lawyers, making sure they did whatever was necessary to achieve their best. She had kept a very close eye on Draco though. She thought he was a bit of a catch and more than once had tried to come on to him, but the answer was the same each time. He wasn’t interested and she was his boss, he didn’t want his colleagues to think she favoured him.

After he lost his fifth case in a row she decided to have a talk with him and called for him to come up to her office. When he knocked on the door she called for him to come in.

“You wanted to see me?” asked Draco, a bit hesitantly.

“Ah, yes Mr. Malfoy. Take a seat.” He sat on one of the chairs in front of her desk and waited for her to speak again.

“So, I hear you just lost another case.”

“Yeah, it is a bit depressing” Draco admitted.

“I believe this is your fifth loss in a row. Not like you. I don’t remember you losing a case before this streak started.”

“I hadn’t.”

“So what’s happened to bring it on now?”

“I’m not sure,” Draco said worriedly and then he decided to say what he first thought when he had been called here. “You’re not going to fire me, are you?”

“Fire my best lawyer?” Racell posed. “Now how stupid would I be if I did that? No, I just wanted to know what was getting you down. What’s distracting you from doing the great job you usually do?”

“Well, three of those cases I don’t think I could have won even if I was at my best, but I guess there has been something on my mind this week,” Draco pronounced.

“Did you have a fight with a close friend or something?”

“Well, not so much a fight, but it does involve a friend.”

“Do you want to talk about it? It could help to clear your mind.” She had always thought there was someone else Draco longed for, even if he didn’t know it himself.

“It can’t hurt anymore than it already is, can it? It’s just, I met up with an old friend a couple of weeks ago and we went out for coffee. Well, her husband spotted us and he didn’t like that fact that I was alone with his wife. It wasn’t like I was going to try anything.”

“I see, do go on.”

“Well, after he warned me not to go near her again, we bumped into each other a second time, and seeing as he was out of town we didn’t think it would hurt if we finished catching up. But it did hurt, because we were seen and he was told. He ended up going home drunk and hurting into my friend. So I went round her place to apologise, one thing led to another and I kissed her. It has been playing in my head ever since.”

“Well, to me it looks like you want to be more than friends with her.”

“Yeah, that was my conclusion. My only problem is that she is married. She seems happy with the guy too. I don’t want to get her hurt anymore.”

“Does she know how you feel?” Anna bet she already knew what he was going to say.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.” Man, I bet she know exactly how he feels Anna thought to herself.

“Well, do you ever plan on telling her?”

“There is no point. It will only make things worse.”

“Did you ever think that she might feel the same way for you?”

Yeah, that had crossed my mind thought Draco. “She is married, of course she doesn’t feel the same way,” Draco replied, starting to get hot headed.

“Well, I still think you should tell her. Get it off your chest. If she doesn’t feel the same way then at least you will know for sure then. Maybe then you can concentrate on your work a bit more, hmm?”

“You haven’t stirred me wrong yet” and Draco agreed to go and confront Hermione one last time to tell her how he felt. Once he figured out what that was.

Author’s Note: *sigh* This feels so cool…getting to the end of a chapter. Means I can rest for a few hours before you lot start hounding me for another chapter, jks. Looking forward to seeing those reviews ;) ~Annie