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ohmymerlin's Reviews!


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#1 ohmymerlin

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Posted 22 January 2014 - 01:13 PM

Hello! I'm ohmymerlin but please call me Kayla :happy:

 

I'm only going to start this thread with TWO open spots at a time but maybe later on I'll change it! Also, if you post when there are already two requests, I will skip you. You can always re-request, however!

 

So I basically read anything but I won't do crossovers. I definitely prefer Next Generation or Marauders but I'm willing to read anything you throw at me! I'm also a bit hesitant about AUs (canon-nut right here :p) but I will read and review them for you! I will focus on spelling, grammar, characterisations and plot. However, I can't help with Britpicking. My reviews are generally very kind but I will point out what needs a little work.

 

Okay so here's the form: 

Story Name:

Author Name:

Story Link:

Rating (and applicable warnings):

Genre:

Length:

Ships:

Story Summary:

Areas of Concern:

 
And to re-request:

Story Name:

Author Name:

Story Link:

Areas of Concern:

 
Request away! :happy:

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#2 apondinabluebox

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Posted 22 January 2014 - 02:02 PM

WOOO FIRST POST :p

Story Name: Jordan & Parsons
Author Name: The Misfit
Story Link: http://harrypotterfa...php?psid=327323 (15+)
Rating (with applicable warnings): 15+; Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Contains Spoilers
Genre: Drama, Humour, Action/Adventure
Length: Two chapters, 6252 words so far
Ships: Albus/OC mainly, a few minor ships in the background
Story Summary:
Welcome to Jordan and Parsons, an agency known only to an elite few. Got some dodgy business dealings you'd rather forget? Some money to hide? Or are you having an affair and need our help to ensure nobody knows? For the right price, our team will make all of your woes disappear we're rather proud of our 100% success rate, you know.

Correction: we had an 100% success rate until the day Albus Potter walked in.
Areas of Concern: Could you please review the second chapter? Obviously, you can read the first if you want so you know what's happening in the story but I'd love to have feedback on the second chapter instead, since I've had quite a bit of feedback on chapter one already My AoCs in chapter two would be characterization and plot believability, as well as what you think of Thierry's convoluted plan, Alicia's selfishness (or was it too subtle?) and just Nick in general (he seems to be a popular guy with my reviewers but I'm not quite sure why ) Thank you!
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#3 potterfan310

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Posted 22 January 2014 - 04:16 PM

Story Name: A Blossoming Romance

Author Name: potterfan310

Story Link: Here M)

Rating (and applicable warnings): Mature, Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Contains Slash (Same-Sex Pairing), Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genre: Fluff, Humor, Romance

Length: Three chapters so far, the first at 3908 words

Ships: Albus Severus/OC, Other Pairing, Harry/Ginny, Rose/Scorpius, Teddy/Victoire, OC/OC

Story Summary:

She was the girl of his dreams, he was just the boy next door.

Throughout Hogwarts they were nothing but two students in the same year who happened to live next door to each other. A year after graduating Albus Potter and Alyssa Darcey become friends one night. Soon after, that friendship turned into something else, could this be the start of a blossoming romance?

 

Areas of Concern: General review, but focus on plot, characterisation and any spelling/grammar mistakes.

 

Thanks :D


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#4 ohmymerlin

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 07:13 AM

BOTH SLOTS ARE OPEN! Request away! :D


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beautiful set by emmaweasley!||call me kayla!

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hpff||review thread||mta (all 12+)

TBBAYMBWHAPABYHDBWNOHPWHT!


#5 lindslo2012

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 03:16 PM

Story Name: Coming Home After a Disaster

Author Name: lindslo2012

Story Link: Here [M]

Rating (and applicable warnings): m-Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genre:Drama, Horror/Dark, Romance 

Length: 65,143 words. But read any chapter you like! 

Ships: Dramione, Harry/Ginny, Hermione/OC, Ron/OC

Story Summary:Hermione's return from Australia turns out way more difficult than expected. Draco Malfoy sets her up when she does him a huge, unexpected favor & ignores her friends' advice; also putting aside her real love life. But will his new opinion of her make him regret this and go against his family even though he knows the consequences? 

Areas of Concern: Grammar, flow, Britt-picking would be good too. ;) 


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icon and sig by azulive:   My newest- Crossing Delicate Boundaries [M]

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 I'm Lindsey, aka lindslo2012. I like writing and making new friends! My stories [All M] &  My MTA [12+]. 

 


#6 TheEmpress

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 04:06 PM

Story Name: Double-Oh Potter

Author Name: The Empress

Story Link: Here (15+)

Rating (and applicable warnings): 15+, Mild Language, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature

Genre: Humor, Mystery

Length: one-shot, 3206 words

Ships: None

Story Summary:

 

 

The professor was up to something
Hogwarts needs me.

Areas of Concern: Flow, story quality, characterization. Humor is not my strongest genre, so I'm looking for general feedback on this piece. Thank you!


Edited by TheEmpress, 24 January 2014 - 04:07 PM.

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#7 ohmymerlin

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 02:18 AM

Both slots are OPEN! Request away! :happy:


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#8 toomanycurls

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 02:27 AM

Story Name: Pure Intentions
Author Name: toomanycurls
Rating (and applicable warnings): Mature - Mild Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Contains Slash (Same-Sex Pairing), Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst 
Length: WIP - 13k words
Ships: Albus/Scorpius, Rose/Scorpius
Story Summary: Scorpius is faced with a dilemma - follow his heart and pursue Albus or follow his father's wishes and have a family? Will Albus tolerate being set aside while Scorpius dates his cousin Rose? Most importantly, will anyone leave this story without their heart being broken?
Areas of Concern: This is my first next gen story. I'm not sure if I've gotten enough characterization down for it to make sense. I don't have a lot of experience with the common tropes for Next Gen kids so I was starting from 0 with a lot of them. I'd like feedback on the overall plot build up and drama points as well. 

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.:Rose:.

 

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#9 _badwolf

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 03:12 AM

Story Name: Warfare

Author Name: MC_HK
Story Link: http://www.harrypott...php?psid=328031
Rating (and applicable warnings): Mature – Strong Language, Sensitive Topic
Genre: Humor, Drama, Romance

Length (including word count of chapter you want reviewed): 6334 words so far – Chapter 1 is 2268 words
Ships: James II/OC
Story Summary: 

James Potter II. Fred Weasley II. Raph Wood. Liam Longbottom.

Penelope Sweets. Christopher Lovett. Lewis Bradley. Simon Rodes.

These are their stories.

Areas of Concern: Is it entertaining enough? Do my characters seem likeable and real? How is the description that I’m using (too much or too little?) Does everyone seem to have a different enough personality from each other (keeping in mind that character development will progress soon)? General opinion and whatever else you want to comment on would also be nice :) Thank you so much!


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#10 ohmymerlin

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 01:11 PM

Done both of the reviews! Both slots are OPEN again! Request away! :happy:


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beautiful set by emmaweasley!||call me kayla!

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hpff||review thread||mta (all 12+)

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#11 apondinabluebox

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 01:22 PM

Story Name: City of Angels
Author Name: The Misfit
Story Link: Click (M)
Rating (and applicable warnings): Mature; Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Genre: Drama, Horror/Dark, Mystery
Length: The prologue is 1352 words
Ships: Dennis Creevey/Pansy Parkinson
Story Summary:

In the heart of Sin City, a plot is unravelling. A young woman has been driven to the brink of despair and is willing to do anything for revenge, while her nemesis has just travelled over seven thousand miles in search for vindication. Little do they know that something sinister is afoot as their activities are plagued by the paranormal, leading them to wonder: are the dead truly gone, or have they discovered the power of resurrection?

Areas of Concern: What do you think of the prologue? Do you think Pansy's characterization is canon, bearing in mind it's been a few years since the Battle of Hogwarts for her? Have I managed to make you ask questions and want to read on without being too utterly vague? And any other opinions that you might have. Thank you, Kayla! :happy:

Edited by apondinabluebox, 27 January 2014 - 01:26 PM.

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#12 potterfan310

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 07:28 PM

Story Name: A Blossoming Romance

Author Name: potterfan310

Story Link: Here (M)

Areas of Concern: Chapter 2 - General review, but focus on plot, characterisation, flow, any spelling/grammar mistakes and the new characters that are introduced.

 

Thanks :D

 


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#13 ohmymerlin

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Posted 29 January 2014 - 10:50 AM

Done and done! TWO slots are open again! :)


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hpff||review thread||mta (all 12+)

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#14 potterfan310

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Posted 29 January 2014 - 02:06 PM

Story Name: A Blossoming Romance

Author Name: potterfan310

Story Link: Here (M)

Areas of Concern: Chapter 3 - General review, but focus on plot, characterisation, flow, any spelling/grammar mistakes and the new characters that are introduced.

 

Thanks so much for the first two, they weer every helpful :hug:


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#15 _badwolf

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Posted 29 January 2014 - 05:20 PM

Story Name: Warfare

Author Name: MC_HK

Story Link: http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com/viewstory.php?psid=328031 (M)

Areas of Concern: General review, because this chapter is another introductory chapter. Not as much characterization on the Gryffie's part, so I'd like to see what you think of them, but keep in mind they develop later. You can point out anything you'd think is worth mentioning, really :)


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