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#586 DarkRose

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Posted 13 March 2012 - 08:57 PM

Hi, i'm in need of a bit of summary advice and help! I'm currently using this one for a story of mine but i feel like it's drab and uninteresting and would love to give it a new look. Plus, i don't really feel like it's really showing what the story is about. It's currently called Other Spaces, but the title may change to Whispers in the Night.

Current summary:


It's a story of grief of Molly losing her sister and how she learned to find herself again after that. It is loosely based around that quote about how sometimes in the destruction of life can you finally find stability. Molly's also a bit of a control freak and really isn't ready to accept her sister's death. It goes on from the funeral, where she believes it to be a dream to having these flashbacky type things and actually seeing Lucy (hence, the title, Whispers in the Night... Ooo what could that mean? :p). In that way, its a bit of a dark story about not letting go and falling into darkness and climbing back out again ( with the trusty help of two little kids and a stranger called Liam Finnigan who may or may not me related to Seamus ;) ).

Here's the link [15+] if you want to get a feel of the first chapter, it's short.

Anyway, i'd love opinion and/or suggestions!! Let me know if you need any more information or have questions on anything. Thank you so much :wub:


Okay, I'll give this a shot. I read the new one that you had come up with and it sounded a little bit melodramatic to me, but I'll see if I can think of something better...no guarantees :)
  • The only thing that Molly wants is stability, but tragedy tends to crack that dream. Can she hold onto her sanity as the world crumbles around her?
  • Her world is crumbling, and so is her sanity.
  • Sometimes in the face of adversity, it's tempting to flee from reality. It's tempting to listen to the whispers in the night.
  • Molly's perfect world has fallen apart, and she's quickly losing everything she holds dear, even her own mind.

Okay, maybe I'm even more melodramatic...I don't know. Maybe these will spark something for you. I hope they help a bit! :) Good luck and happy writing!


Okay, so I've now had 4 different summary's for this story, and I really think I just need to settle with 1 :)
Nothing I can write for this story works for me, so I just sit there and galre at my screen ^_^
So now it's the hands of you guys :D

The story goes that Fred Weasley the First is a ghost. He was given a few choices when he died, and he choose to become a guardian angel hoping it would be to george or his mother, however he got Fred Weasley II, in the next gen, and he hates it.
Fred embarks on this mission to help Fred Weasley II with getting the girl he wants, but in the meantime realises that he can't always help everyone and can't always save the day - the story isn't a happy ending for either, as Fred 1 does something his not meant to which demotes him from his guardian angel status, and Fred Weasley II doesn't get the girl, becuase that was never his path - as it was never Fred 1's to interfer (a guardian may only watch, and learn, techinally). So he gets demoted, and then in the epilogue we see, Fred II talking to his dad and relaying a message back to him, that Fred 1 asked him to deliver.
Lavendar Brown also plays a major part in this story.

And that's about it :p
My current summary goes like this.




Thank you :hug:


Mmmmmkay, let's see what I can come up with here:
  • Life gets complicated when you die.
  • We all a choice in life--or, in my case, death--to interefere or to let things happen as they're "meant to." I never seem to make the right decision.
  • Rather than just dying peacefully like a normal person, I've been made a guardian angel. And I thought death itself was bad.
  • Death isn't as simple as you'd think.
  • If only they'd let me die in peace. I was never meant to be a babysitter or a matchmaker. I didn't sign up for this.
I hope these help spark something! Good luck and happy writing! :)
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#587 Aderyn

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Posted 18 March 2012 - 12:55 PM

Okay, so I've now had 4 different summary's for this story, and I really think I just need to settle with 1 :)
Nothing I can write for this story works for me, so I just sit there and galre at my screen ^_^
So now it's the hands of you guys :D

The story goes that Fred Weasley the First is a ghost. He was given a few choices when he died, and he choose to become a guardian angel hoping it would be to george or his mother, however he got Fred Weasley II, in the next gen, and he hates it.
Fred embarks on this mission to help Fred Weasley II with getting the girl he wants, but in the meantime realises that he can't always help everyone and can't always save the day - the story isn't a happy ending for either, as Fred 1 does something his not meant to which demotes him from his guardian angel status, and Fred Weasley II doesn't get the girl, becuase that was never his path - as it was never Fred 1's to interfer (a guardian may only watch, and learn, techinally). So he gets demoted, and then in the epilogue we see, Fred II talking to his dad and relaying a message back to him, that Fred 1 asked him to deliver.
Lavendar Brown also plays a major part in this story.
And that's about it :p
My current summary goes like this.

Thank you :hug:


What about something like this. Its just a modification of what you posted.

Fred Weasley: ghost, guardian angel to a troublesome nephew, (and then list a few other things Fred is) .

Dying is possibly the worst thing that's ever happened to me!
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#588 brithewriter

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Posted 19 March 2012 - 06:20 AM

Hello again people who are good at coming up with stuff!
So I'm writing a nerdy new one-shot and I need help polishing up the summary, mostly better definitions of nerdy. The story is going to be about Molly II who is a very big Star Trek fan despite being a witch and all. Its really just going to be an insight to her nerdy life at Hogwarts.
Here is what I've got so far (feel free to add and fix it up):

Molly Weasley II daughter of Percy and Audrey Weasley is a nerd. She isn't the does her homework, and other peoples so therefore is a nerd. She is a definitive bookworm, odd thing fancying, straight up awkward nerd. And it all began because of a little TV show...


Please and thank you!


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#589 Raine

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Posted 20 March 2012 - 08:37 PM

Oh, gosh - please prepare for some awfulness, I am not good with summaries either but I am determined to help you in any way I can.

Take One:

Molly Weasley, daughter of Percy and Audrey Weasley, is a complete and utter nerd.

She is a definitive bookworm, odd thing fancying, straight up awkward, TV show watching even-though-she-is-a-witch nerd.

Yeah. That kind of nerd.


Take Two:

Molly Weasley II is most definitely a nerd.

Does her homework and everybody else's? No, not that kind of nerd.

Definitive bookworm? You could call her that.

Odd thing fancying? Maybe. Straight up awkward? Most definitely.

TV show watching even-though-she-is-a-witch? You don't want to know.


I hope these sparked an idea for you, and good luck!
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#590 brithewriter

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Posted 21 March 2012 - 04:58 AM

Hmmm.... I will def have to think about it.
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#591 Galawen

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Posted 21 March 2012 - 02:36 PM

Just some ideas that popped into my head :) Hope they help a little!

"Molly Weasley II is not your traditional nerd. She hates homework, avoids studying at all costs and is terrified of Ravenclaws.
No, Molly is definitely not a normal nerd. She's something much worse...

Molly is a Trekkie."


"Molly Weasley II is a lover of many things - all of them odd. But the oddest of all is the reason she has been labeled a nerd by her classmates.

You see Molly is the only witch she knows; the only witch anyone knows, obssessed with muggle tv shows.

Or rather, one in particular.

Star Trek. "


"Molly knows what a nerd looks like. They spend all their time in the library, love getting 3 foot long essays and enjoy homework so much they do other people's. Molly is most certainly not that kind of nerd. She is something much more unique.

Molly is a magical Trekkie. "


Edited by Galawen, 21 March 2012 - 06:27 PM.

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#592 brithewriter

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Posted 21 March 2012 - 11:15 PM

I really like those! as well as your siggy!
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#593 yorkgal

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Posted 25 March 2012 - 11:47 AM

I've written a story (which im now editing) its a James II/OC called 'To Love You' its got around 101,000 words and is- as of now- completed (but not posted) I'm really excited about it but i dont actually have a summary :( so i realllllllly need help.

My OC's called Arianna Zabini (daughter of Blaise of course) and she's a gryffindor in the same year as James II, its in his point of view and he's liked her forever (but she hates him) and the families are still rivals so he's basically got to win her heart despite everyone saying they cant be together.

I know its not much but can anyone help??

Edited by yorkgal, 25 March 2012 - 11:51 AM.

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#594 mangagirl

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Posted 25 March 2012 - 12:11 PM

I've written a story (which im now editing) its a James II/OC called 'To Love You' its got around 101,000 words and is- as of now- completed (but not posted) I'm really excited about it but i dont actually have a summary :( so i realllllllly need help.

My OC's called Arianna Zabini (daughter of Blaise of course) and she's a gryffindor in the same year as James II, its in his point of view and he's liked her forever (but she hates him) and the families are still rivals so he's basically got to win her heart despite everyone saying they cant be together.

I know its not much but can anyone help??


Rivalry is always an ugly opponent. Especially when you are captivated by the oh-so-beautiful girl who would rather see your head on a stick than by her side. Who would have known James Sirius Potter would fall for the one girl that he could never have?

Or

It has always been her. I don't know how I could ever fall from someone else. The way her hair falls in front of her amazing eyes captivates me. But there is one problem. We're sort of rivals....

I hope I could help!
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#595 Raine

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Posted 25 March 2012 - 12:56 PM

I've written a story (which im now editing) its a James II/OC called 'To Love You' its got around 101,000 words and is- as of now- completed (but not posted) I'm really excited about it but i dont actually have a summary :( so i realllllllly need help.

My OC's called Arianna Zabini (daughter of Blaise of course) and she's a gryffindor in the same year as James II, its in his point of view and he's liked her forever (but she hates him) and the families are still rivals so he's basically got to win her heart despite everyone saying they cant be together.

I know its not much but can anyone help??


1. It's an age-old story: boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl and her family hate his guts, boy's family is totally against it - but hey! It's improbable, but definitely possible.

2. "Anything's possible if you've got enough nerve." James' mum is always saying that, so why is everyone so against him winning the heart of Arianna Zabini?

3. It has always been a rule for James - "Don't fall for Arianna Zabini." - but he is a prankster, he is mischievous, and never, ever listens to anyone. And, anyway, rules were made to be broken.

4. James Potter has fallen in love. With the beautiful daughter of Blaise Zabini(a description of Arianna here, since I don't know what her character is like). Thing is, his family and hers sort of hate each others' guts - along with the fact that she hates his.

Meh. I'm not very good at summaries either, although I like the first and fourth one better than the rest. Let's hope you get some ideas from them, and good luck! It sounds like an interesting story.
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#596 yorkgal

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Posted 25 March 2012 - 02:07 PM

Thanks for the awesome suggestions, i liked all of them but i think i'll go with Mangagirl's first one!

Thanks again for all the help!
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#597 alicia and anne

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 10:12 AM

I have this story that I've written for a challenge, I don't like my current summary which I wrote quickly so I could get the story out. Which is;

Steven Bird was sure of two things in his life.

1. He's best friend Lucy Weasley was going to be responsible for his death and/or expulsion.

2. That no good could come from said best friend stealing a Timeturner from the Head teachers office.


The story is about Steven Bird and his best friend Lucy Weasley, Steven is always getting into trouble because of Lucy, and Lucy has a habit of stealing things from teachers offices, this time she's managed to steal a timeturner and Steven just knows if they're found out that he's going to get expelled. (as it turns out Lucy only manages the first time to go about ten minutes into the past) So any help at all would be appreciated :) Thanks *gives cookies*
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#598 Snoopy

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Posted 28 March 2012 - 10:29 PM

I have this story that I've written for a challenge, I don't like my current summary which I wrote quickly so I could get the story out. Which is;

Steven Bird was sure of two things in his life.

1. He's best friend Lucy Weasley was going to be responsible for his death and/or expulsion.

2. That no good could come from said best friend stealing a Timeturner from the Head teachers office.


The story is about Steven Bird and his best friend Lucy Weasley, Steven is always getting into trouble because of Lucy, and Lucy has a habit of stealing things from teachers offices, this time she's managed to steal a timeturner and Steven just knows if they're found out that he's going to get expelled. (as it turns out Lucy only manages the first time to go about ten minutes into the past) So any help at all would be appreciated :) Thanks *gives cookies*



hmm what abut something like:

Misfits, murders and Timeturners - life's never easy
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#599 louiseIShere

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Posted 29 March 2012 - 11:22 AM

I have this story that I've written for a challenge, I don't like my current summary which I wrote quickly so I could get the story out. Which is;
Steven Bird was sure of two things in his life.
1. He's best friend Lucy Weasley was going to be responsible for his death and/or expulsion.
2. That no good could come from said best friend stealing a Timeturner from the Head teachers office.

The story is about Steven Bird and his best friend Lucy Weasley, Steven is always getting into trouble because of Lucy, and Lucy has a habit of stealing things from teachers offices, this time she's managed to steal a timeturner and Steven just knows if they're found out that he's going to get expelled. (as it turns out Lucy only manages the first time to go about ten minutes into the past) So any help at all would be appreciated :) Thanks *gives cookies*



How about something like this...
- It was always because of Lucy that Steven was in trouble. She was forever stealing from teachers offices, but what happens when she takes a timeturner? Will Lucy finally be the reason behind Steven's death/or expulsion?
- There is always that one friend that lands you in trouble and for Steven it was Lucy. So what happens when she gets a timetuner?
- Steven always knew that Lucy was going to be the one responsible for his death and/or expulsion. He just knew it and then when she stole a timetuner he knew it was going to happen soon.

Hopefully there is something here that helps, Good luck!
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#600 alicia and anne

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Posted 29 March 2012 - 05:20 PM

Thank you both so much for your input and help, I really love both of your suggestions.
I think I'm going to go with a mix of both of yours

Steven always knew that Lucy was going to be the one responsible for his death and/or expulsion. He just knew it and then when she stole a timetuner he knew it was going to happen soon. Misfits, attempted murder and Timeturners - life's never easy.

Thank you both, and LouiseIShere and Snoopy I shall credit you both :-D
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