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#586 mangagirl

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Posted 11 March 2012 - 05:13 PM

I just started writing a new story. Chapter one is already in the queue waiting to be valiadated but I am unhappy with the summary and could use some help.
In general the story is about how Hermione is saved from drowning by her guardian angel. After deciding to take her second chance on life, her Angel comes back with her to help fulfill her heart's every desire. However then Angel starts making strange and sinister requests and Hermione must question who he truly is and where he actually came from.
Any suggestions would be helpful.


How about:

Pure, innocent people can be the most deceptive. Little did Hermione know that perfection can be scarred, changing her life into hell.

Or

Not all angels are good. This one ruined my life.

I hope I could help!
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#587 SilentConfession

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Posted 11 March 2012 - 09:00 PM

Hi, i'm in need of a bit of summary advice and help! I'm currently using this one for a story of mine but i feel like it's drab and uninteresting and would love to give it a new look. Plus, i don't really feel like it's really showing what the story is about. It's currently called Other Spaces, but the title may change to Whispers in the Night.

Current summary:

There were places where things had been put because they had been violently displaced, and then on the contrary places where things found their natural ground and stability - Michel Foucault

Molly Weasley II wasn't convinced that this wasn't all a dream.



It's a story of grief of Molly losing her sister and how she learned to find herself again after that. It is loosely based around that quote about how sometimes in the destruction of life can you finally find stability. Molly's also a bit of a control freak and really isn't ready to accept her sister's death. It goes on from the funeral, where she believes it to be a dream to having these flashbacky type things and actually seeing Lucy (hence, the title, Whispers in the Night... Ooo what could that mean? :p). In that way, its a bit of a dark story about not letting go and falling into darkness and climbing back out again ( with the trusty help of two little kids and a stranger called Liam Finnigan who may or may not me related to Seamus ;) ).

Here's the link [15+] if you want to get a feel of the first chapter, it's short.

Anyway, i'd love opinion and/or suggestions!! Let me know if you need any more information or have questions on anything. Thank you so much :wub:

Edited by SilentConfession, 11 March 2012 - 09:04 PM.

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#588 ashling568

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Posted 11 March 2012 - 10:43 PM

Thank you both for your sugestions. I ended up with: When Hermione is saved from drowning by her Guardian Angel she soon finds out that not all angels come from heaven.
Thank you again Academica I wil be sure to credit you with helping me come up with the finishing product.
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#589 SilentConfession

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 10:47 PM

As an addition to my above post, i now have written this (with some brainstorming help from academica) >>>

Perfection was always something Molly II hungered for. But when tragedy strikes can she keep her head above the madness that binds her or will she listen to the whispers in the night?

I'd still love opinions on this or other suggestions if someone has one :D I don't really feel like it has a good closure to it. But that may just be me. Also, is the whole "tragedy strikes" thing a little too cliche???

Edited by SilentConfession, 12 March 2012 - 10:50 PM.

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#590 louiseIShere

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 11:25 PM

As an addition to my above post, i now have written this (with some brainstorming help from academica) >>>

Perfection was always something Molly II hungered for. But when tragedy strikes can she keep her head above the madness that binds her or will she listen to the whispers in the night?

I'd still love opinions on this or other suggestions if someone has one :D I don't really feel like it has a good closure to it. But that may just be me. Also, is the whole "tragedy strikes" thing a little too cliche???


I do like this one but if you feel its not right then how something like
- There are times when you can't always plan your Perfect life.
Molly II learnt this the hard way and now she is going to have to make it though it.
But how will she with the whispers of the night?
Ok so not the best but maybe this will help somehow. Good Luck!
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#591 MyMyMiss

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Posted 13 March 2012 - 02:32 PM

Okay, so I've now had 4 different summary's for this story, and I really think I just need to settle with 1 :)
Nothing I can write for this story works for me, so I just sit there and galre at my screen ^_^
So now it's the hands of you guys :D

The story goes that Fred Weasley the First is a ghost. He was given a few choices when he died, and he choose to become a guardian angel hoping it would be to george or his mother, however he got Fred Weasley II, in the next gen, and he hates it.
Fred embarks on this mission to help Fred Weasley II with getting the girl he wants, but in the meantime realises that he can't always help everyone and can't always save the day - the story isn't a happy ending for either, as Fred 1 does something his not meant to which demotes him from his guardian angel status, and Fred Weasley II doesn't get the girl, becuase that was never his path - as it was never Fred 1's to interfer (a guardian may only watch, and learn, techinally). So he gets demoted, and then in the epilogue we see, Fred II talking to his dad and relaying a message back to him, that Fred 1 asked him to deliver.
Lavendar Brown also plays a major part in this story.

And that's about it :p
My current summary goes like this.


I'm Fred Weasley, Prankster Extrondinar, loveable, handsome, and awesome ghost.
Who, stupidly, became a guardian angel to my Nephew, became friends with my trainer, Arcus and is trying to give Lavendar Brown everything she needs.
Me dying, was possibly the worst thing that has ever happened to me.


Thank you :hug:
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#592 DarkRose

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Posted 13 March 2012 - 08:57 PM

Hi, i'm in need of a bit of summary advice and help! I'm currently using this one for a story of mine but i feel like it's drab and uninteresting and would love to give it a new look. Plus, i don't really feel like it's really showing what the story is about. It's currently called Other Spaces, but the title may change to Whispers in the Night.

Current summary:


It's a story of grief of Molly losing her sister and how she learned to find herself again after that. It is loosely based around that quote about how sometimes in the destruction of life can you finally find stability. Molly's also a bit of a control freak and really isn't ready to accept her sister's death. It goes on from the funeral, where she believes it to be a dream to having these flashbacky type things and actually seeing Lucy (hence, the title, Whispers in the Night... Ooo what could that mean? :p). In that way, its a bit of a dark story about not letting go and falling into darkness and climbing back out again ( with the trusty help of two little kids and a stranger called Liam Finnigan who may or may not me related to Seamus ;) ).

Here's the link [15+] if you want to get a feel of the first chapter, it's short.

Anyway, i'd love opinion and/or suggestions!! Let me know if you need any more information or have questions on anything. Thank you so much :wub:


Okay, I'll give this a shot. I read the new one that you had come up with and it sounded a little bit melodramatic to me, but I'll see if I can think of something better...no guarantees :)
  • The only thing that Molly wants is stability, but tragedy tends to crack that dream. Can she hold onto her sanity as the world crumbles around her?
  • Her world is crumbling, and so is her sanity.
  • Sometimes in the face of adversity, it's tempting to flee from reality. It's tempting to listen to the whispers in the night.
  • Molly's perfect world has fallen apart, and she's quickly losing everything she holds dear, even her own mind.

Okay, maybe I'm even more melodramatic...I don't know. Maybe these will spark something for you. I hope they help a bit! :) Good luck and happy writing!


Okay, so I've now had 4 different summary's for this story, and I really think I just need to settle with 1 :)
Nothing I can write for this story works for me, so I just sit there and galre at my screen ^_^
So now it's the hands of you guys :D

The story goes that Fred Weasley the First is a ghost. He was given a few choices when he died, and he choose to become a guardian angel hoping it would be to george or his mother, however he got Fred Weasley II, in the next gen, and he hates it.
Fred embarks on this mission to help Fred Weasley II with getting the girl he wants, but in the meantime realises that he can't always help everyone and can't always save the day - the story isn't a happy ending for either, as Fred 1 does something his not meant to which demotes him from his guardian angel status, and Fred Weasley II doesn't get the girl, becuase that was never his path - as it was never Fred 1's to interfer (a guardian may only watch, and learn, techinally). So he gets demoted, and then in the epilogue we see, Fred II talking to his dad and relaying a message back to him, that Fred 1 asked him to deliver.
Lavendar Brown also plays a major part in this story.

And that's about it :p
My current summary goes like this.




Thank you :hug:


Mmmmmkay, let's see what I can come up with here:
  • Life gets complicated when you die.
  • We all a choice in life--or, in my case, death--to interefere or to let things happen as they're "meant to." I never seem to make the right decision.
  • Rather than just dying peacefully like a normal person, I've been made a guardian angel. And I thought death itself was bad.
  • Death isn't as simple as you'd think.
  • If only they'd let me die in peace. I was never meant to be a babysitter or a matchmaker. I didn't sign up for this.
I hope these help spark something! Good luck and happy writing! :)
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#593 Aderyn

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Posted 18 March 2012 - 12:55 PM

Okay, so I've now had 4 different summary's for this story, and I really think I just need to settle with 1 :)
Nothing I can write for this story works for me, so I just sit there and galre at my screen ^_^
So now it's the hands of you guys :D

The story goes that Fred Weasley the First is a ghost. He was given a few choices when he died, and he choose to become a guardian angel hoping it would be to george or his mother, however he got Fred Weasley II, in the next gen, and he hates it.
Fred embarks on this mission to help Fred Weasley II with getting the girl he wants, but in the meantime realises that he can't always help everyone and can't always save the day - the story isn't a happy ending for either, as Fred 1 does something his not meant to which demotes him from his guardian angel status, and Fred Weasley II doesn't get the girl, becuase that was never his path - as it was never Fred 1's to interfer (a guardian may only watch, and learn, techinally). So he gets demoted, and then in the epilogue we see, Fred II talking to his dad and relaying a message back to him, that Fred 1 asked him to deliver.
Lavendar Brown also plays a major part in this story.
And that's about it :p
My current summary goes like this.

Thank you :hug:


What about something like this. Its just a modification of what you posted.

Fred Weasley: ghost, guardian angel to a troublesome nephew, (and then list a few other things Fred is) .

Dying is possibly the worst thing that's ever happened to me!
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#594 brithewriter

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Posted 19 March 2012 - 06:20 AM

Hello again people who are good at coming up with stuff!
So I'm writing a nerdy new one-shot and I need help polishing up the summary, mostly better definitions of nerdy. The story is going to be about Molly II who is a very big Star Trek fan despite being a witch and all. Its really just going to be an insight to her nerdy life at Hogwarts.
Here is what I've got so far (feel free to add and fix it up):

Molly Weasley II daughter of Percy and Audrey Weasley is a nerd. She isn't the does her homework, and other peoples so therefore is a nerd. She is a definitive bookworm, odd thing fancying, straight up awkward nerd. And it all began because of a little TV show...


Please and thank you!


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#595 Raine

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Posted 20 March 2012 - 08:37 PM

Oh, gosh - please prepare for some awfulness, I am not good with summaries either but I am determined to help you in any way I can.

Take One:

Molly Weasley, daughter of Percy and Audrey Weasley, is a complete and utter nerd.

She is a definitive bookworm, odd thing fancying, straight up awkward, TV show watching even-though-she-is-a-witch nerd.

Yeah. That kind of nerd.


Take Two:

Molly Weasley II is most definitely a nerd.

Does her homework and everybody else's? No, not that kind of nerd.

Definitive bookworm? You could call her that.

Odd thing fancying? Maybe. Straight up awkward? Most definitely.

TV show watching even-though-she-is-a-witch? You don't want to know.


I hope these sparked an idea for you, and good luck!
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#596 brithewriter

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Posted 21 March 2012 - 04:58 AM

Hmmm.... I will def have to think about it.
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#597 Galawen

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Posted 21 March 2012 - 02:36 PM

Just some ideas that popped into my head :) Hope they help a little!

"Molly Weasley II is not your traditional nerd. She hates homework, avoids studying at all costs and is terrified of Ravenclaws.
No, Molly is definitely not a normal nerd. She's something much worse...

Molly is a Trekkie."


"Molly Weasley II is a lover of many things - all of them odd. But the oddest of all is the reason she has been labeled a nerd by her classmates.

You see Molly is the only witch she knows; the only witch anyone knows, obssessed with muggle tv shows.

Or rather, one in particular.

Star Trek. "


"Molly knows what a nerd looks like. They spend all their time in the library, love getting 3 foot long essays and enjoy homework so much they do other people's. Molly is most certainly not that kind of nerd. She is something much more unique.

Molly is a magical Trekkie. "


Edited by Galawen, 21 March 2012 - 06:27 PM.

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#598 brithewriter

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Posted 21 March 2012 - 11:15 PM

I really like those! as well as your siggy!
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#599 yorkgal

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Posted 25 March 2012 - 11:47 AM

I've written a story (which im now editing) its a James II/OC called 'To Love You' its got around 101,000 words and is- as of now- completed (but not posted) I'm really excited about it but i dont actually have a summary :( so i realllllllly need help.

My OC's called Arianna Zabini (daughter of Blaise of course) and she's a gryffindor in the same year as James II, its in his point of view and he's liked her forever (but she hates him) and the families are still rivals so he's basically got to win her heart despite everyone saying they cant be together.

I know its not much but can anyone help??

Edited by yorkgal, 25 March 2012 - 11:51 AM.

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#600 mangagirl

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Posted 25 March 2012 - 12:11 PM

I've written a story (which im now editing) its a James II/OC called 'To Love You' its got around 101,000 words and is- as of now- completed (but not posted) I'm really excited about it but i dont actually have a summary :( so i realllllllly need help.

My OC's called Arianna Zabini (daughter of Blaise of course) and she's a gryffindor in the same year as James II, its in his point of view and he's liked her forever (but she hates him) and the families are still rivals so he's basically got to win her heart despite everyone saying they cant be together.

I know its not much but can anyone help??


Rivalry is always an ugly opponent. Especially when you are captivated by the oh-so-beautiful girl who would rather see your head on a stick than by her side. Who would have known James Sirius Potter would fall for the one girl that he could never have?

Or

It has always been her. I don't know how I could ever fall from someone else. The way her hair falls in front of her amazing eyes captivates me. But there is one problem. We're sort of rivals....

I hope I could help!
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