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My mobile phone is ruining my life.

Posted by acrules , 11 April 2012 · 608 views

My phone has a life of it’s own.

No, I’m serious here.

There have been quite a few clues but today really took the biscuit...

One second I was sat on the ridiculous bus which takes an hour to get to a place which is twenty minutes away, checking to whether my subtle plug about Lottie’s fabulous one-shot Of Words and Weeping (15+) via status and the recommendation thread was working... (it now has 20 favourites but still only two reviews guys – it’s a fabulous story so you go review and shower Lottie with love)... and then the next thing I know I clicked off the internet.

You know, not too abnormal.

And somehow I had managed to set the background of my phone as a picture of Draco Malfoy. Honestly, I have no idea how. And not just any picture of Draco Malfoy.

You know on the archives there’s the pictures at the top of the page with the pretty floaty things around them? Yeah, that picture of Draco Malfoy has somehow become the background of my phone.

My phone’s background is one of the headers of the archives. I didn’t press anything. I didn’t change anything. I wouldn’t have known how to do that if I’d been trying to it.

But this isn’t the first time strange things have happened.

My phone randomly texts or calls the wrong person for funsies. Like, messages about making plans with my bestie going to some of my guy-friends who are then frightened by the sheer number of kisses. Pawkward.

I was sat at the train station (and I’m going to right ahead and blame all of public transport) and I was looking at my phone, and then the next time I looked at my phone the screen had cracked. I hadn’t dropped it or anything. It had literally just cracked. They only conclusion we could come to was the fact that it was a really hot day.

My phone spontaneously influenced me to give my real phone number to the creepiest-guy-on-the-planet rather than the fake one I’d been intending to offer out. It then allowed the creepiest-guy-on-the-planet to text me. Not cool, phone.

My phone logged me into my sister’s facebook and her chat conversation, meaning that I was subjected to her and her friend talking about how farmers are attractive (fair play though, right?). I then told her that I could see her chat messages and she was like OH EXPELETIVE which I thought might have been a slight over-reaction... until I managed to weed out what she thought I saw.

And this isn’t the first time a phone has been against me. I have had the worst luck of phones ever. My last phone met it’s demise due to a glass bottle of unnameable liquid that smashed when one of the staps of my backpack gave way, drowning all the things I owned (ipod, phone, calculator, school books). The phone before that? That only sent text messages when I had one bar of signal. Not more than one bar of signal, exactly one bar of signal. I spent hours ducking under desks and into wardrobes to lose signal so I could send messages and even more time being laughed at by the phone operators who just didn’t see the issue. Before that? I got my phone nicked and someone ran up a £50 bill within twenty minutes. And... before that, I had nine phones over a twelve month period due to the fact that they kept breaking and even more sim cards.

So I’ve decided that mobile phones are trying to ruin my life. I think that’s the actual problem with all things. The reason why today at a restaurant my overzealous hand gesture resulted in me sending my straw flying at a couple on the next table and why yesterday, in my driving lesson, I accidently grabbed my instructors knee rather than the gear stick. Twice. This is all because of my phone. It’s ruining my life.

And, because I actually wanted to make this blog have a point I thought I’d stick in some recommendations. I’ve been trying to read and review a fanfiction every day over my holidays, but I am about three days behind so we won’t talk about that but... things you should all read:

It’s Called Adventure (15+) by Aiedial

Because it's lovely and wonderful and really caputres the potter-verse feel of adventure and such. Hugo is one of the most wonderful characters I've come across and I really loved this story.

Run (M) By Toujours Padfoot

Because it's so creative and there's so many characters that are all characterised perfectly :D

Of Words and Weeping (15+) by TGK

Because I've been pimping this out all day and it really is a truly wonderful Romione that made my heart flutter <3

And... because I’m shameless and no one seems to read this fic I’d love it if anyone felt like checking out my All the Abstract Nouns (M) because it’s about growing up and stuffs :)

And I guess this marks the end of another truly pointless blog entry. Ennjooyyyy.

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Apr 11 2012 09:47 PM
Helen... I will now forever read your blogs, but I think I started when you mentioned that unnamable liquid? The crunchy calculator if I remember correct? Anyways... I feel bad for... Laughing at your misfortune... EVEN though I have the same luck with phones and such... All the awkwardness... Not the one bar text sender, I think that's all you :p

But yes, phones and I have the same type of bond (I'm also really tempted to put a bunch of chemistry puns cause of what I read on twitter earlier... That was highly amusing to watch)...

Anyways, yeah... Once I broke the color tube on an old phone... Cause I set it on my bed... I've broken many things by holding it, but the one thing I would not be able to fix on my phone takes the ticket of... "Holy crap." :p

Yeah... This comment is basically here to say "Hey! Same luck we have, once again?" I'm pretty sure we've noticed our luck similarityness in one of your blogs... *Can't remember*

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Good! All read my blogs!

My blog actually has a higher number of reads than half my story, ahha. I guess I'm okay with that. YES THE CRUNCHY CALCULATOR. These things never end. It's okay, laugh away... if it happens it might as well be amusing to some people, right?


I've had far too much fun today.

Heheh, well... at least I'm not that only one :)
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Apr 11 2012 10:32 PM

Seriously. Only one phone has ever worked for me. I've had it for 3/4 years now and I'm never letting it go, because I don't trust any other. And I never will.

I love your blogs, Helen! And I will check out those stories... I saw that All the Abstract Nouns was top of your author page when I was there today... Not that I'm there a lot...:p
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Apr 12 2012 01:03 AM
Life =made

Love this blog!
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Apr 12 2012 01:14 AM
I just read TGK's story after seeing it recc'd here and on twitter, and oh my goodness, it's amazing. Everyone should go read it pronto!
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Apr 12 2012 10:23 AM
For some funny reason I'm getting the impression that you and mobile phones just do not get along.
If mine did all the things yours has done I think I would go crazy. There must be a phone out there that loves you to bits.
Good luck in your quest.
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I love your blog <3

That's it...no rambley comment from me today ;)
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Apr 12 2012 01:33 PM
I want your phone! My life could do with a few more spontaneous Draco Malfoy pictures in it :flowers: Oh dear, I think your phone's secretly a transformer though with a life of it's own. To be honest, I hate all things phone related. I had this weird thingy a while back where I'd mentally type out every word I saw on my phone's keyboard...it really freaked me out for a while because it was completely subconscious.

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I haven't changed the Draco Malfoy picture yet because I'm still completely baffled. Oh, me and Mobile phones... they hate me :(

But the important part of all this is that you should READ THE ABOVE STORIES :D
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Apr 14 2012 05:17 AM
You're blog is the best! :D

Luckily, I have no trouble whatsoever with phones. I've had the same one for two and a half years, something which is a big accomplishment.

Except, if I'm at home I prefer using the landline. Is that wierd? I just find the phone easier to hold, more comfy and less brain-damaging.

I think you should get a nokia phone. They're pretty tough ;)
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