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Lily's sacrifice...could I do it?

Posted by Renfair , in Rambling 08 April 2012 · 252 views

The short answer: in a heartbeat.

This topic has been popping into my mind this past week, and especially today. Today Babbin turned 15 months old, the precise age that Harry was when his parents were murdered. I don't think there is any mother who truly loves her child who would disagree with me when I say I wouldn't hesitate to throw myself in the path of something that was threatening my son, be it a bullet, a car, or a killing curse.

I can't even imagine what must have been going through Lily's mind those last minutes when she was fairly certain they were all going to die. I've read one or two very well-written fics in the past about her thoughts then, and I think for the brief moments we see in the last movie, they're portrayed really well. I honestly can't watch that part where she's talking to Harry in the Penseive scene without crying. I didn't even cry for Snape's death in the movie (sacrilege, I know!) but seeing little Harry crying in his crib with his mother dead just made me totally lose it. I've always appreciated how Jo Rowling really made love the most important element of the entire series, and a mother's love in particular. So you can bet that I hugged and cuddled Babbin a bit more than usual today (especially since I'm weaning him, so I think he needs some extra attention).

Any attempt at writing has been completely impossible since my last entry. I had the freakish bad luck to be collateral damage to my cat totally going ballistic after getting startled and had my head used as a spring board as he vaulted over the couch. Good thing I knew that scalp wounds bleed a crazy amount, or I probably would have totally panicked, having been home alone with Babbin at the time. Fortunately he was napping, so I could do some first aid before he woke up. Stuff seemed ok, my cat fortunately also missing my eyeball by about half an inch, but then the lovely scalp scratches got infected, so an ER trip was in order since that's the established protocol for cat scratches (yes, apparently you should go to the ER for gunshot wounds, stabbings, and feline angst. Huh?).

I'm on antibiotics now, but I'm feeling very frustrated because I just signed up to attempt a really cool-sounding challenge over at The Golden Snitches, and I feel like, between working on Babbin's weaning and trying to do wound care, I have no time to plan the story, let alone try to write it. And, oh yeah, there's that darn chapter four of Nothing Else Matters that is just sitting there in MS Word, glaring at me (probably because it's Severus's chapter. That's been unfinished since November. He's growing dangerously out of patience with me. Eek!) But if I'm able to do this challenge, I think it will be very good for me. I have to basically take a classic novel I was assigned and put a Harry Potter spin on it, featuring a main character I was also assigned. I like this character, but haven't written about him much since I kind of hate his friends (bet you can guess who it is if you know me well. But I won't say!) If I'm able to ever start work on this, it will be a great venture out of my comfort zone. But there are so many other things I have to do this month. I'm tempted to sign up for a beta-exchange over at TGS as well, but that would require me to finish that darn chapter four... and to do that, I would need to put this challenge even more on hold! AUGH! Why did I never sign up to do things like this when I was literally sitting around the house for months unemployed and bored out of my mind in the past?

At the very least, I'm still really excited to be back on the fan fiction scene. It's beyond frustrating to see all these wonderful featured stories here at HPFF and over at TGS and be unable to read and review them. I'm finding I really enjoy reviewing and would love to re-establish my own reviewing thread some day. I know what I am able to accomplish is probably phenomenal being a single mom to spastic baby-dinosaur toddler over here, but I still wish I could do even more to give back to the great fan fiction communities I'm a part of. Anyway, thanks for reading, and though she's a fictional character, take a moment to think about Lily and what an amazing person she was. Even though she was married to (in my humble opinion) an utter dingbat, she was truly an amazing mother. No, scratch that. She was just a mom, doing what any mom would do. Lily, you rock.

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Oh God I tried tackling this in one of my stories (shameless self promotion xox) and it's so hard. I'm not a mother but I feel I could do this for my baby cousins who I love to pieces. Or my Mum (she'd never let me) or my brother. I lie awake thinking about it sometimes and I know for certain I would.
She was such an amazing person and she inspires me :') even though it's truly heartbreaking and I cry about everything to do with her, especially her death and leaVING harry with the awful Dursleys. I feel like if I could take him in right there and then I would grab him and run. Aw, poor orphaned Harry, and Teddy as well :'( xx
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